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About the Book
For Che, Deano, Marcus and Richie their summer is about to get a whole lot hotter, though not necessarily in a good way. With testosterone and immaturity flying absurdly high, our four likely lads engage one another in a dubious sex competition – an absurd but thrilling contest aimed to discover who’ll be crowned top shagger!
The Players
Player Che Meadows, the affable online dater who has a tendency to fall for the first pretty girl who lets him between her thighs.
Player Deano Thompson, the cocksure ladies’ man and self-proclaimed pick-up king who well and truly thinks he’s God’s gift to birds.
Player Marcus Lyndon-Pryce, the fussy priss who spends far too many Friday nights worrying about missing socks.
Player Richie Strachan, a misfiring Scot with all the charm of a deep-fried Mars bar.
The Game
Over the course of a long hot summer, four twenty-somethings must snog, grope and shag their way around London town. It’s one point for a smooch and several more for a frisky fumble. *Wildcards apply.
Will Che wipe the shit-eating grin off of Deano’s big, buff face? Will Marcus ever find his missing sock? And as events take a distinct turn for the worse, can our four Lotharios deal with the unforeseen consequences of their morally questionable actions?
You’ll just have to read to find out.
Danger! Danger! High Voltage! The author heavily recommends “reader discretion.” This comic novel contains colourful language and multiple scenes of an improper nature. Its numerous descents into salaciousness are accompanied by both challenging ideas and language some readers will not only find shocking, but not to their taste. With all this in mind, Tom Conrad advises more delicate souls spit out immediately rather than proceed to swallow his wordy junk.
Critical Acclaim for Notches
Faux Reviews “An emotionally generous, but smutty glimpse into male friendship and four different men’s attitudes toward life, love and sex. Think Sex and the City , but less Manhattan cocktails and more Peckham real ale and a packet of crisps."
We Don’t Review Ebooks “Dripping with humour and an off-the-wall ending you won’t see coming. Notches is funny, slutty and provocative all at once – an opus for the idiot in all of us.”
Flaps Magazine “Hilarious and a little dangerous. An outlandish ode to shagging about that’ll appeal to birds and blokes alike. This book will smack you across the face and leave you gasping for more.”
The Cultureprenur “In places this playful work touches a nerve, but Conrad underpins his forays into more divisive topics with comic pathos. His four characters are deeply flawed but one appreciates, deliberately so.”
Shut Up Reviews “A bawdy and immature romp. Expect to discover thrills, spills, after sex selfies, perfect weeks, STDs, rejection, baby scares, homicidal husbands, homicide detectives, cougars, hookers, swingers, and perhaps even a little falling in love?”
Please The above reviews are fictitious reviews made up by the author. This is of course a little unorthodox, but Tom Conrad’s reasoning is “If you cannot be bothered to write your own reviews, why should anyone else (insert winky face).”
For Che, Deano, Marcus and Richie their summer is about to get a whole lot hotter, though not necessarily in a good way. With testosterone and immaturity flying absurdly high, our four likely lads engage one another in a dubious sex competition – an absurd but thrilling contest aimed to discover who’ll be crowned top shagger!
The Players
Player Che Meadows, the affable online dater who has a tendency to fall for the first pretty girl who lets him between her thighs.
Player Deano Thompson, the cocksure ladies’ man and self-proclaimed pick-up king who well and truly thinks he’s God’s gift to birds.
Player Marcus Lyndon-Pryce, the fussy priss who spends far too many Friday nights worrying about missing socks.
Player Richie Strachan, a misfiring Scot with all the charm of a deep-fried Mars bar.
The Game
Over the course of a long hot summer, four twenty-somethings must snog, grope and shag their way around London town. It’s one point for a smooch and several more for a frisky fumble. *Wildcards apply.
Will Che wipe the shit-eating grin off of Deano’s big, buff face? Will Marcus ever find his missing sock? And as events take a distinct turn for the worse, can our four Lotharios deal with the unforeseen consequences of their morally questionable actions?
You’ll just have to read to find out.
Danger! Danger! High Voltage! The author heavily recommends “reader discretion.” This comic novel contains colourful language and multiple scenes of an improper nature. Its numerous descents into salaciousness are accompanied by both challenging ideas and language some readers will not only find shocking, but not to their taste. With all this in mind, Tom Conrad advises more delicate souls spit out immediately rather than proceed to swallow his wordy junk.
Critical Acclaim for Notches
Faux Reviews “An emotionally generous, but smutty glimpse into male friendship and four different men’s attitudes toward life, love and sex. Think Sex and the City , but less Manhattan cocktails and more Peckham real ale and a packet of crisps."
We Don’t Review Ebooks “Dripping with humour and an off-the-wall ending you won’t see coming. Notches is funny, slutty and provocative all at once – an opus for the idiot in all of us.”
Flaps Magazine “Hilarious and a little dangerous. An outlandish ode to shagging about that’ll appeal to birds and blokes alike. This book will smack you across the face and leave you gasping for more.”
The Cultureprenur “In places this playful work touches a nerve, but Conrad underpins his forays into more divisive topics with comic pathos. His four characters are deeply flawed but one appreciates, deliberately so.”
Shut Up Reviews “A bawdy and immature romp. Expect to discover thrills, spills, after sex selfies, perfect weeks, STDs, rejection, baby scares, homicidal husbands, homicide detectives, cougars, hookers, swingers, and perhaps even a little falling in love?”
Please The above reviews are fictitious reviews made up by the author. This is of course a little unorthodox, but Tom Conrad’s reasoning is “If you cannot be bothered to write your own reviews, why should anyone else (insert winky face).”
467 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 21, 2016
About the author
Tom Conrad
17 books56 followersABOUT TOM CONRAD:
Tom Conrad is a very busy man. When not talking about himself in the third person, he likes to think of amusing bio descriptions:
"Born. Wrote many an ebook (continually delighted people actually read them)... Not dead yet!"
See, time well spent?!
ABOUT TOM CONRAD'S BOOKS:
Available on all Amazon platforms. I recommend Suicide is not a Plan B and That Semicolon Bitch Had to Die
ABOUT "ABOUT SECTIONS":
They describe what things are about.
Contact me direct: shutupanddeal@hotmail.com. My email address is actually the last line delivered in a favourite film of mine, and has nothing to do with my previous life as a world-class poker player.
Thank you for dropping by, I hope you enjoy one (or all) of my books x
Tom Conrad is a very busy man. When not talking about himself in the third person, he likes to think of amusing bio descriptions:
"Born. Wrote many an ebook (continually delighted people actually read them)... Not dead yet!"
See, time well spent?!
ABOUT TOM CONRAD'S BOOKS:
Available on all Amazon platforms. I recommend Suicide is not a Plan B and That Semicolon Bitch Had to Die
ABOUT "ABOUT SECTIONS":
They describe what things are about.
Contact me direct: shutupanddeal@hotmail.com. My email address is actually the last line delivered in a favourite film of mine, and has nothing to do with my previous life as a world-class poker player.
Thank you for dropping by, I hope you enjoy one (or all) of my books x
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