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Ceasefire!: Why Women and Men Must Join Forces to Achieve True Equality
Are men and women really from different planets? In Ceasefire!, journalist and cultural critic Cathy Young argues that our current obsession with personal problems between the sexes has had disastrous consequences for women's progress -- and for men's as well. Young believes "the myth of gender difference" has allowed feminists to continue to see women as victims, at the same time buttressing conservatives' claim that the weakening of traditional roles has wreaked havoc on our society. It's time to re-examine our allegiances in the gender wars.
Young insists that we must abandon the premise -- rooted in women's historical second-class status -- that anything that benefits and empowers women furthers justice and equality. This belief leads to the unspoken assumption that women's interests are more legitimate than men's and that their problems are more deserving of concern. Young argues that, whereas feminism once focused on inequities in laws and social norms, it has become preoccupied with men's personal mistreatment of women. As a result, bad acts by men are magnified into a "war against women," while women's bad acts are denied. A new emphasis on special protections for women rather than equal rights has dangerously eroded the rights of men accused of rape, domestic violence, or sexual harassment in ways that can backfire on women too. Meanwhile, conservatives have developed their own mythology of women's victimization -- by divorce, by sexual liberation, by pressure to work outside the home.
Drawing on scholarly research, media reports, and real-life cases, Ceasefire! demolishes both feminist and antifeminist fictions. Young challenges men and women to transcend old and new myths, to look beyond the polarities of either denying or exaggerating sex differences, and to value individual uniqueness and flexibility. To achieve true equality, she says, we must pay attention to sexism against men as well as against women (without turning men into a new victim class) and ask women as well as men to rethink their stereotypical views of the other gender. Sure to cause controversy across the political spectrum, Ceasefire! surveys a wide range of issues -- from career/family conflicts to female violence, from sexual dynamics on the job to the problems of divorced fathers -- to offer a surprising vision of true social equality.
Young insists that we must abandon the premise -- rooted in women's historical second-class status -- that anything that benefits and empowers women furthers justice and equality. This belief leads to the unspoken assumption that women's interests are more legitimate than men's and that their problems are more deserving of concern. Young argues that, whereas feminism once focused on inequities in laws and social norms, it has become preoccupied with men's personal mistreatment of women. As a result, bad acts by men are magnified into a "war against women," while women's bad acts are denied. A new emphasis on special protections for women rather than equal rights has dangerously eroded the rights of men accused of rape, domestic violence, or sexual harassment in ways that can backfire on women too. Meanwhile, conservatives have developed their own mythology of women's victimization -- by divorce, by sexual liberation, by pressure to work outside the home.
Drawing on scholarly research, media reports, and real-life cases, Ceasefire! demolishes both feminist and antifeminist fictions. Young challenges men and women to transcend old and new myths, to look beyond the polarities of either denying or exaggerating sex differences, and to value individual uniqueness and flexibility. To achieve true equality, she says, we must pay attention to sexism against men as well as against women (without turning men into a new victim class) and ask women as well as men to rethink their stereotypical views of the other gender. Sure to cause controversy across the political spectrum, Ceasefire! surveys a wide range of issues -- from career/family conflicts to female violence, from sexual dynamics on the job to the problems of divorced fathers -- to offer a surprising vision of true social equality.
368 pages, Hardcover
First published November 2, 1998
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About the author
Cathy Young
25 books13 followersCathy Young is a columnist for The Boston Globe and Reason, an author and a public speaker.
Born in Moscow, Russia in 1963, Young came to the United States with her family in 1980. She received her B.A. degree in English from Rutgers University in 1988, where she was admitted to Phi Beta Kappa.
Young is the author of two books: Ceasefire!: Why Women and Men Must Join Forces to Achieve True Equality (The Free Press, February 1999), and Growing Up in Moscow: Memories of a Soviet Girlhood (Ticknor & Fields, 1989). She also contributed the essay, "Keeping Women Weak," to Next: Young American Writers on the New Generation (Eric Liu, ed.). W. W. Norton & Co., 1994. As a research associate at the Cato Institute, she co-authored, with Michael Weiss, Esq., the 1996 policy analysis, "Feminist Jurisprudence: Equal Rights or Neo-Paternalism?"
Since September 2000, Young has been a regular op-ed columnist for The Boston Globe. She also writes a monthly column for Reason magazine. From 1993 to 1999, she was a weekly columnist for the Detroit News. Her columns, book reviews, and feature articles have appeared in many publications including New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Newsday, The American Spectator, Salon.Com, National Review, and The New Republic.
Young's television appearances have included The Today Show (NBC); Crier & Company, Inside Business (CNN); This is America!, To the Contrary, and Uncommon Knowledge (PBS); Washington Journal (C-Span); Judith Regan Tonight and The O'Reilly Factor (Fox News Channel). Radio appearances have included Talk of the Nation and Radio Times (National Public Radio) and numerous shows on stations across the United States.
Young has spoken before the Commonwealth Club of San Francisco; at the Sex Wars Conference (Institute of Contemporary Arts, London); the Freedom School (Freedom Communications Media Conference); the Children's Rights Council; the New School for Social Research; The Pacific Research Institute; and the Cato Institute. She has also appeared at colleges and universities including Boston College Law School, Georgetown University Law School, Stanford Law School; Boalt Hall Law School (University of California-Berkeley); University of North Carolina Law School; Northwestern University Law School; and University of Michigan Law School.
Born in Moscow, Russia in 1963, Young came to the United States with her family in 1980. She received her B.A. degree in English from Rutgers University in 1988, where she was admitted to Phi Beta Kappa.
Young is the author of two books: Ceasefire!: Why Women and Men Must Join Forces to Achieve True Equality (The Free Press, February 1999), and Growing Up in Moscow: Memories of a Soviet Girlhood (Ticknor & Fields, 1989). She also contributed the essay, "Keeping Women Weak," to Next: Young American Writers on the New Generation (Eric Liu, ed.). W. W. Norton & Co., 1994. As a research associate at the Cato Institute, she co-authored, with Michael Weiss, Esq., the 1996 policy analysis, "Feminist Jurisprudence: Equal Rights or Neo-Paternalism?"
Since September 2000, Young has been a regular op-ed columnist for The Boston Globe. She also writes a monthly column for Reason magazine. From 1993 to 1999, she was a weekly columnist for the Detroit News. Her columns, book reviews, and feature articles have appeared in many publications including New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Newsday, The American Spectator, Salon.Com, National Review, and The New Republic.
Young's television appearances have included The Today Show (NBC); Crier & Company, Inside Business (CNN); This is America!, To the Contrary, and Uncommon Knowledge (PBS); Washington Journal (C-Span); Judith Regan Tonight and The O'Reilly Factor (Fox News Channel). Radio appearances have included Talk of the Nation and Radio Times (National Public Radio) and numerous shows on stations across the United States.
Young has spoken before the Commonwealth Club of San Francisco; at the Sex Wars Conference (Institute of Contemporary Arts, London); the Freedom School (Freedom Communications Media Conference); the Children's Rights Council; the New School for Social Research; The Pacific Research Institute; and the Cato Institute. She has also appeared at colleges and universities including Boston College Law School, Georgetown University Law School, Stanford Law School; Boalt Hall Law School (University of California-Berkeley); University of North Carolina Law School; Northwestern University Law School; and University of Michigan Law School.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
January 2, 2015
THIS is the book I've been searching for. I was starting to worry that it would be impossible to find a book on gender politics that wasn't soaked with ideology and bias. I figured I could just read them all and find my own balance, but it was proving difficult. This book is a much-needed breath of fresh air. This was the book I needed. Exactly this book.
It's written by feminist journalist Cathy Young, who treats the subject with a balance I have yet to find anywhere. She examines all perspectives--the feminist, masculist, and conservative, and shows the ways that they're all correct, or at least make good points, and where they all go wrong. She has a great habit of always mentioning the nuance of a point in parentheses. She seems refreshingly above all the ideology that seems to drive every perspective she examines. It sometimes even made me a little ashamed of not being skeptical enough.
Probably the most important section in this book, for me, was the chapter where she addresses Warren Farrell's arguments, whom I have found frustrating because he makes amazingly fresh and insightful points, only to stretch them too far to the point of exaggeration and hyperbole, thereby losing his credibility. It was the same habit, Young pointed out, that also makes the radical feminists so annoying.
This book is not thorough, by any means. It covers the big subjects: biology, parenting, rape, domestic violence, and sexual harassment. But it's enough to make those of all ideologies of this subject see that the reality is more nuanced than they were led to believe.
It's written by feminist journalist Cathy Young, who treats the subject with a balance I have yet to find anywhere. She examines all perspectives--the feminist, masculist, and conservative, and shows the ways that they're all correct, or at least make good points, and where they all go wrong. She has a great habit of always mentioning the nuance of a point in parentheses. She seems refreshingly above all the ideology that seems to drive every perspective she examines. It sometimes even made me a little ashamed of not being skeptical enough.
Probably the most important section in this book, for me, was the chapter where she addresses Warren Farrell's arguments, whom I have found frustrating because he makes amazingly fresh and insightful points, only to stretch them too far to the point of exaggeration and hyperbole, thereby losing his credibility. It was the same habit, Young pointed out, that also makes the radical feminists so annoying.
This book is not thorough, by any means. It covers the big subjects: biology, parenting, rape, domestic violence, and sexual harassment. But it's enough to make those of all ideologies of this subject see that the reality is more nuanced than they were led to believe.
December 4, 2013
Far from being a conservative's cynical take on feminism or a newly schismed manifesto, Cathy Young has written a well-documented and strangely compelling book which politely and seriously dissects feminism, masculism, and conservative gender politics. Her voice comes off the page thoughtful, knowledgeable, and impartial. Resisting the temptation to fight strawmen, she accurately describes and frequently quotes the figures she criticizes - and criticize she does, albeit constructively. The intention here isn't to sell you a new version of feminism or masculism but to ask you to keep an open mind, and what little politics there is comes in the form of practical suggestions. I dare you to read this book without changing your mind about something, large or small.
June 4, 2018
Ugh. I propose renaming this to "Ceasrefire!: Why Women and Men Must Join Forces to Achieve True Equality and Why This Means That It's Pretty Much Only Feminists Who Have to Change". In the one chapter about some of the problems that conservatives may pose, she still manages to focus on criticizing feminists.
I've never met someone with such sketchy views on workplace harassment as the author. The people who don't want to be "kissed in a grandfatherly way" by their boss, asked to "fish for change" in their boss' pants pocket, or be subjected to multiple coworkers bandying about X-rated erotic magazines in the workplace are not, I would argue, being oversensitive and the people who are punished for engaging in said behaviors are not "victims of the sexual harassment crusade". Seriously.
Pushing and shoving, including "grabbing her by the sweatshirt and shoving her against the wall" can very much be domestic violence, regardless of whether or not a "scrape" was suffered. In what world is this ok?
Why is it always anti-feminists who talk about "bona fide feminists", "card-carrying feminists", etc? Perhaps unshockingly, it's the same people who insist on talking about "real rape" and "real abuse".
"It is important to defend the interests of women as victims, but not to go so far as to accord women complaining of rape a presumption of honesty and objectivity." Ew.
"The sexual harassment crusade has undoubtedly redressed some real wrongs but in the process has created more problems than it has solved." Eww.
"What's needed is a new 'teach-in' to challenge the premises of this war:...to remind us of the option of civility without adversarial terms like sexual harassment." Ah yes, the good ol' euphemism treadmill.
"A few [MRAs] call for the restoration of 'patriarchy,' but most deny any hostility toward the women's movement." That's the biggest lie I've read in a long time.
"The argument that gender oppression was always a two-way street misses another fact: Traditionally, the 'male sex role' was identified with the cultural concept of what it meant to be human. The invisibility of male disadvantage is the flip side of historical male privilege: hardships peculiar to men are seen as a part of the human condition because masculinity blends into universal humanity." One of the few interesting snippets from the book.
"The evolution of gender roles must expand options for both sexes. Male privilege never meant that most men were free to do as they pleased, or that everything they did was for selfish reasons, or that women had a corner on suffering. The historical fact of male dominance does not negate the fact of male sacrifice, in wars or in work. In personal relationships, men and women have equally good reasons to complain about the other sex. Today, most gender issues are women's and men's issues - and if we don't take the male perspective into account, we miss half the picture." One of the few things I agreed with her on.
Lastly, when you use Scalia, Katie Roiphe, Rush Limbaugh, and Shelby Steele to demonstrate your view is shared by others, perhaps you should be reconsidering your view...
I've never met someone with such sketchy views on workplace harassment as the author. The people who don't want to be "kissed in a grandfatherly way" by their boss, asked to "fish for change" in their boss' pants pocket, or be subjected to multiple coworkers bandying about X-rated erotic magazines in the workplace are not, I would argue, being oversensitive and the people who are punished for engaging in said behaviors are not "victims of the sexual harassment crusade". Seriously.
Pushing and shoving, including "grabbing her by the sweatshirt and shoving her against the wall" can very much be domestic violence, regardless of whether or not a "scrape" was suffered. In what world is this ok?
Why is it always anti-feminists who talk about "bona fide feminists", "card-carrying feminists", etc? Perhaps unshockingly, it's the same people who insist on talking about "real rape" and "real abuse".
"It is important to defend the interests of women as victims, but not to go so far as to accord women complaining of rape a presumption of honesty and objectivity." Ew.
"The sexual harassment crusade has undoubtedly redressed some real wrongs but in the process has created more problems than it has solved." Eww.
"What's needed is a new 'teach-in' to challenge the premises of this war:...to remind us of the option of civility without adversarial terms like sexual harassment." Ah yes, the good ol' euphemism treadmill.
"A few [MRAs] call for the restoration of 'patriarchy,' but most deny any hostility toward the women's movement." That's the biggest lie I've read in a long time.
"The argument that gender oppression was always a two-way street misses another fact: Traditionally, the 'male sex role' was identified with the cultural concept of what it meant to be human. The invisibility of male disadvantage is the flip side of historical male privilege: hardships peculiar to men are seen as a part of the human condition because masculinity blends into universal humanity." One of the few interesting snippets from the book.
"The evolution of gender roles must expand options for both sexes. Male privilege never meant that most men were free to do as they pleased, or that everything they did was for selfish reasons, or that women had a corner on suffering. The historical fact of male dominance does not negate the fact of male sacrifice, in wars or in work. In personal relationships, men and women have equally good reasons to complain about the other sex. Today, most gender issues are women's and men's issues - and if we don't take the male perspective into account, we miss half the picture." One of the few things I agreed with her on.
Lastly, when you use Scalia, Katie Roiphe, Rush Limbaugh, and Shelby Steele to demonstrate your view is shared by others, perhaps you should be reconsidering your view...
November 16, 2021
Radfem, womanism, gender feminism... Whatever the terminology used to describe it, there has been a whole trend of feminism which, over the past few decades, has broke away from traditional and liberal feminism (the battle for equal rights with men and through the empowerment of women) to, on the contrary, systematically portray women as disempowered, in a misandre and dividing scapegoating game whereas men are nothing but cruel patriarchs. You know the drill: according to such view, women are supposedly so 'disempowered' that they are, in fact, 'oppressed' by a still all-powerful patriarchy, and so deserve a 'victim' status which must be reason enough to grant them special rights through special legislations and policies. It's a radical and bullsh#t form of feminism for sure (if it can ever be called 'feminism' at all!) yet which has gained powerful momentum, to the point of having some of is core tenets now accepted like a credo.
Domestic violence? Men! They're the majority of abusers! The justice system? Prejudiced against women! It's men's fault! Parenting and families? Prejudiced against women! Mothers have it tough -it's men's fault! The gender pay gap? Men's fault! Health and medical care? Women's health problems are overlooked! It's men's fault! The workplace? Sexual harassment! Rape culture! Men's fault! Crime and delinquency? Women get killed! It's a 'femicide'! Men's fault! Men's fault! Men's fault, and blah, blah, blah...
Now, of course, anyone caring a tat about scientific evidence and official data knows full well that domestic violence is not gendered (women are as abusive as men; half of abusive relationships involves in fact bidirectional abuse); that the justice system is certainly not prejudiced against women (if anything, women get away with lighter sentences than men for the same crimes -if they are sentenced at all- in what has been termed 'chivalry justice'); mothers overall still have it better than fathers thanks to sexist parenting stereotypes leading to dads still being treated like second class parents; the so-called 'gender' pay gap is everything but a gender issue (to start with, women with children earn less than women without, making it a problem of 'motherhood penalty' more than 'it's-men's-fault-they-are-sexists!'...); women's health is taken care of as much as men's; and, goodness!, we certainly don't live in a society plagued by a 'rape culture', let alone one encouraging a 'femicide'! The 'gender feminist' and her bonkers claims, then, surely need to be debunked, an endeavour which Cathy Young undertakes here in a more than welcomed book relying as much on statistics as upon common sense.
The thing is, true gender equality won't be achieved by leaving the field to looneys, so wrapped up in sexist prejudices that their agenda is counterproductive. Such feminism, in fact, and as the author brilliantly shows, is as toxic to women as misogyny is (it actually peddles misogynistic tenets, even if unconsciously). Women are not 'disempowered' -they actually make better than men in many domains (education is a case in point). Sure, the patriarchy was harmful to them; but it has hurt men too, and as genders don't evolve each in a vacuum, alien to each others, if we want to solve women's problems then we also have to take into account men's ones (and vice versa). Nothing illustrate this better, for example, than the issue about parenting and father's rights (where such feminism is particularly poisonous, at the expense of our children's wellbeing...). The gender feminist, then, can claim to help women; yet, she does nothing of such. On the contrary, she is fuelling a gender war based on scaremongering stereotypes, as rubbish as the solutions she proposes to tackle issues.
If you're fed up with what part of feminism has turned into, and the gender hysteria we now seem to dabble in and which has stemmed from such idiocies, then here's a must read! 'Ceasefire!' is a powerful indictment of a whole toxic ideological trend.
Domestic violence? Men! They're the majority of abusers! The justice system? Prejudiced against women! It's men's fault! Parenting and families? Prejudiced against women! Mothers have it tough -it's men's fault! The gender pay gap? Men's fault! Health and medical care? Women's health problems are overlooked! It's men's fault! The workplace? Sexual harassment! Rape culture! Men's fault! Crime and delinquency? Women get killed! It's a 'femicide'! Men's fault! Men's fault! Men's fault, and blah, blah, blah...
Now, of course, anyone caring a tat about scientific evidence and official data knows full well that domestic violence is not gendered (women are as abusive as men; half of abusive relationships involves in fact bidirectional abuse); that the justice system is certainly not prejudiced against women (if anything, women get away with lighter sentences than men for the same crimes -if they are sentenced at all- in what has been termed 'chivalry justice'); mothers overall still have it better than fathers thanks to sexist parenting stereotypes leading to dads still being treated like second class parents; the so-called 'gender' pay gap is everything but a gender issue (to start with, women with children earn less than women without, making it a problem of 'motherhood penalty' more than 'it's-men's-fault-they-are-sexists!'...); women's health is taken care of as much as men's; and, goodness!, we certainly don't live in a society plagued by a 'rape culture', let alone one encouraging a 'femicide'! The 'gender feminist' and her bonkers claims, then, surely need to be debunked, an endeavour which Cathy Young undertakes here in a more than welcomed book relying as much on statistics as upon common sense.
The thing is, true gender equality won't be achieved by leaving the field to looneys, so wrapped up in sexist prejudices that their agenda is counterproductive. Such feminism, in fact, and as the author brilliantly shows, is as toxic to women as misogyny is (it actually peddles misogynistic tenets, even if unconsciously). Women are not 'disempowered' -they actually make better than men in many domains (education is a case in point). Sure, the patriarchy was harmful to them; but it has hurt men too, and as genders don't evolve each in a vacuum, alien to each others, if we want to solve women's problems then we also have to take into account men's ones (and vice versa). Nothing illustrate this better, for example, than the issue about parenting and father's rights (where such feminism is particularly poisonous, at the expense of our children's wellbeing...). The gender feminist, then, can claim to help women; yet, she does nothing of such. On the contrary, she is fuelling a gender war based on scaremongering stereotypes, as rubbish as the solutions she proposes to tackle issues.
If you're fed up with what part of feminism has turned into, and the gender hysteria we now seem to dabble in and which has stemmed from such idiocies, then here's a must read! 'Ceasefire!' is a powerful indictment of a whole toxic ideological trend.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews