Don't Miss It: Parent Every Week Like It Counts

by Reggie Joiner, Kristen Ivy

You know what your kid is going through is just a phase, but what does that really mean? Don't Miss It (by Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy) reminds parents that phases are not just periods of time to be survived, but opportunities to be maximized. It gives parents a simple strategy for parenting every week like it counts. It can help them reprioritize their time with their kids; it may even change how they see their kids and themselves. (And because parents are busy, it's designed to take an hour or less to read.) It's just a phase. So don't miss it. To read more about the Phase Project, visit JustAPhase.com. For more resources like this, visit OrangeBooks.com.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Faith

78 pages, Paperback

Published April 11, 2016

About the author

Reggie Joiner is the founder and CEO of Orange, a non-profit organization whose purpose is to influence those who influence the next generation. Author of more than 30 books, including Think Orange, Seven Practices of Effective Ministry, and Lead Small. Reggie has changed the way churches and organizations create environments for and equip leaders, parents, and the next generation. Orange partners with over 8,000 churches internationally and is the architect of the Orange Conference and the Orange Tour, which provide national training opportunities for senior pastors, church leaders, and ministry volunteers.

Prior to Orange and along with Andy Stanley, Reggie co-founded North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, Georgia. During his 11 years as the executive director of Family Ministry, Reggie developed the new concepts of ministry for preschoolers, children, students, and married adults. He has found a way to wear orange for 4,353 days and counting.

Reggie is a graduate of Georgia Southwestern College. He and his wife Debbie have four grown children and live near Atlanta.

Reviews

[Maddy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really makes you think about the time that you have with your children. This is one that I’ll probably read yearly. Really inspired me to be present as the weeks go by. I don’t want to miss it!

[Rachel Woodson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Our church did a sermon series on this topic covering the phases of life. It really opened my eyes to how important each week truly is and to enjoy it not wish it away.

Our church gave us this book at our son’s baby dedication.

This book is. 20 minutes read- I mean super fast. It doesn’t give a ton of specifics but is a great reminder not to miss out.

It’s one that I could easily read monthly to keep my perspective. It’s all about being intentional. I’m not sure if I want to do the marble thing (you’ll have to read) but I understand the value of realizing time is truly precious and limited.

[Jessica P. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another short, to-the-point parenting book encouraging the reader to embrace each stage of their child's life. Not new news, but sometimes, you need the reminder, like after your baby spits up on your pants, the chair, and the carpet all in one feeding...

[Laura Beard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and to the point, nothing completely earth shattering but good reminders. I don’t think I’m really going to count down the time I have with my kids but good reminder to embrace the time we have with the kids.

[MaKenzie Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would say closer to a 3.5.

Simple quick and straightforward.

I liked the left page drawings and visuals to drive home what the message was.

Some repeating of ideas but honestly not contrite.

[Eric Morrissey]

Super short read (compliments of SC church at my baby’s dedication). An excellent reminder that our time with our children is short and to make the most of each week. It’s something I’ve taken to heart prior to reading this book, but one cannot have too many reminders (my wife and I had already been doing the marble per week visual reminder of our time with our son). Nothing revolutionary, but a great reminder.

[Whitney Collins · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a really sweet, short, and simple book! Reminded me to hug my baby tighter, because time will fly (as it already is!). Nothing overly complex, just some reminders and tips to savor every moment with your children.

[Mandi Grasmeyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a planner, most of this is second nature to me, but I can see the value in it for someone who might need the nudge. For me? Mostly just had a panic attack thinking about how it will go too fast.

[Tess · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book has a good message, which is to get you to address "What is the strategy for the relational, emotional, moral, and even spiritual development of my kid?" But that message is on page 71, almost at the end of the book, and pages 1-70 don't really need to exist. The entire thing is just one big push to convince you to care, one big wheedle for you to see that parenting matters. If you're the kind of person who would even pick up such a book, even just to idly flip through it in a waiting room, you already (1) care about your kids' mental/emotional/spiritual/moral health and (2) understand that what you do has an impact on those things. To anyone truly that lackadaisical who has no idea that they have an effect on their kids' development, you should read this book, foreal! Highly recommend.

To be fair, I'm just...extremely not the audience for this book. You couldn't have found a more sentimental, savor-every-moment, squeeze-the-good-out-of-every-single-weekend, plan-ahead-so-we-can-do-the-things-that-make-life-worth-living, type of parent if you scoured the world. So the fact that people could even be as lackadaisical to not notice or care that, like...they have a role in their own child's development, is just bizarre and incomprehensible to me. The level of Type A, frenetic "I better not miss this!" / "I better use this time well!" energy pouring out of me at all times is such that adding a physical jar with marbles in it to my mantel to remind me visually about just how short our life together is would be the ultimate sign of playing right into the hands of the deepest-seated anxieties I have, and the most seductive pitfalls.

The kicker is that no matter how much you do treat your kids' childhoods with intentionality, guess what? They can still "turn out" entirely opposite to what you expected or intended. This is not to say that what you do has no effect, not at all. I think you absolutely have a big effect on your kids. But it might not manifest in the way you expect or in the timing you expect. You can certainly tell and show them right from wrong, for starters. But ultimately, just like inviting someone to church or talking to someone about your faith, you can't force people to encounter God—He has to do that Himself. You can merely hold out your hands, consistently be a presence, and consistently offer that encounter and hopefully make it available as much as possible. So for me, and again I am that highly-cognizant, Type A person as already discussed, I think this is a level of pressure on a parent that doesn't even begin to recognize that you aren't God yourself; you can only point to Him.

[Sharonwilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick read - only took me about 30 minutes. This means there is no excuse, no reason why any parent, in any stage of life, with any number of children, cannot read this book. I would bet most parents are spending that much time on social media in a day. This book is a much needed reminder that how we spend our time and how we shape our children as a result of that spent time has a significant impact on their formation to become the adults we hope for them to be one day. Put your phone down, pick up this book, and then commit to prioritizing and investing in each stage of development and growth your children go through because the future is coming sooner than you think.

In the words of a wise friend of mine who had 8 children in less than 12 years, “The days are long, but the years are short.”

[Lauren Bosshammer · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really great, short resource. Excels where a GREAT many other Christian resources fall short- includes practical "real world" examples of real kids/adults, not just a super "Christianized" version, and it is equal parts convicting and encouraging. Most parenting books leave you feeling eons away from being a good parent and stuck in guilt with a heavy heart. This left me feeling inspired that I can do more. I expected it to be good because I have read some of the other resources written by the authors, but Joiner and Ivy really knocked it out of the park! Our children's ministry put this in our hands when we volunteered to teach a class and it was a great idea.

[Carolann]

I thought this book would be more about how to actually make every week count - routines, etc. Sometimes I feel like they just fly by and I can see how what you do one week can snowball into the next. But it was more general ideas to think about as you parent over the years. There were some good nuggets in here and you can read it in less than an hour, but there was too much about God and religion in here for me. I'm glad I read it because it gave me a few new ideas and it was a good reminder how little time we really get with our kids.

[Emily Hoover · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book to kick start thinking intentionally about the 936 weeks we have with our kiddos before they graduate high school! Got me thinking about the simple ways I can parent in the normal rhythms of our weeks. The book also shared general stages of development and what we should focus on in each as parents. It was simple, quick read, not anything groundbreaking, but more of an encouragement to do those simple things that build up over time in our kids’ lives. I enjoyed this read!

[Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the different viewpoints. None of them are especially novel, but it’s a good reminder to serve as a wake-up call from the busyness of daily life. Minus 1 star for the near constant fixation on “missing” something. Society has enough FOMO prompts (mostly advertising), so I think this message could have had a more powerful delivery by enforcing positives rather than avoiding negatives.

[Caitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given this book by a mothers' group at a church. It's super fast to read, as others have said, but it's not too stressful. I don't think I'll be making a marble jar to count down the weeks I have with my baby daughter, but I do think I'll come back to the book for the reminders of the kinds of things kids need to learn and know as they grow.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this was a good reminder of how quickly parenthood flies by, I was not expecting all the Christian undertones. There is nothing on my cover about this event a Christian book. I really despise when books hide their overtly church-y tones. If I wanted a church book I would have looked for that specifically.

[Joshua Blackmon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent who cares about their child should read this book, plain and simple.

Short and to the point, this books articulat3s clearly and concisely some things I wish I had heard before we had our first child...

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parent Cue Live was double the price of this book and made this book not necessary. Highly recommend this process. Not a reference book s much as an understanding of the few concepts behind the phase books.

[Scooter Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful Resource and Reminder for Parents

Excellent and brief challenge to help parents intentionally maximize the minutes and make the moments count. It’s a wake up call to make the most of the time before it’s gone.

[Megan Burns · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super short, but full of good nuggets. Yes, it's "just a phase" but a phase isn't something to get through. It's a unique opportunity to influence your child, and you'll never get that time back. Really pulls you into the right perspective.

[Joseph Hughes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a huge fan of the Phase project and the work that Orange does for parents. Was a quick, easy read and I highly recommend any parent or soon to be parent picks this up. So many hours of research and interviews went into the Phase project and their Phase guides.

[Rachel Wood · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short yet thought provoking. To the point yet encouraging. As a new parent this is a great way to set the stage for how to view a child’s phases. I only wish there was a resource guide for further insight on how to anticipate development, questions, etc. for each phase.

[CJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many good reminders in this!! I think my favorite was when they discussed how God thinks so highly of children that He is almost saying, “I want you to treat your child like you would Me and when you welcome them-imagine welcoming Me…” wheeew that got me. I enjoyed it!

[Rikki Crutcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must-read for busy parents. The advice is short, simple, and incredibly meaningful. It’s easy to pick up anytime and instantly helps reset your perspective and focus on what truly matters in parenting and life.

[Kevin Slous · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be given to every parent at their child's dedication as the church commits to partnering with the family through each phase of their child's life. ...maybe with a bag of marbles.

[Jacqueline Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

short. sweet. and to the point. Didnt really "change my life," but definately impacted me on some level.

[Chandra Boulden · Rating 2 out of 5]

Childhood and raising children goes by fast! This book reminds you of the importance of making a big impact! Only 936 weeks from birth to graduation! WOW! Easy read- 25 minutes!

[Jenn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short sweet and to the point. Don’t Miss It!

[Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

we only have a limited amount of time to parent our kids till they graduate, make the most of it. this is a perfect introduction to Joiner & Ivy's "Phase" series of parenting books.

[Kelsey Hinton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book - short and sweet and put your child’s life into perspective about how important it is to invest in your child’s life.