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Let God Love You: why we don't, how we can
What have you learned about yourself from your past and current relationships? We learn who we are and what we can hope for from others in the context of our relationships with family, friends, and others around us. Some of what we have learned and experienced may even blind us to what is really true about God, leaving us both yearning for and afraid of closeness with Him.
Coupling the teachings of Christ and His prophets with gospel-oriented ideas from her counseling background, Wendy Ulrich probes faulty assumptions that we may bring to our relationship with God. By understanding and healing these false beliefs and then following the teachings of Christ about how we can ''come unto Him,'' we learn to see God more accurately, rely on Him more trustingly, and become strengthened in His love.
240 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 4, 2016
49 people are currently reading
388 people want to read
About the author
Wendy Ulrich
13 books50 followersWendy Ulrich, Ph.D., was a psychologist in private practice for over fifteen years in Michigan before joining her husband to serve when he was called as president of the Canada Montreal Mission in 2002. They now live in Alpine, Utah, where she founded Sixteen Stones Center for Growth, LLC, offering seminar retreats on forgiveness, abundant life, loss, spirituality, and personal growth (visit www.sixteenstones.net). She is the mother of three adult children, a former ward and stake Relief Society president, and a former president of the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists. She is the author of Forgiving Ourselves and Weakness Is Not Sin.
from http://deseretbook.com/auth/18560/Wen...
from http://deseretbook.com/auth/18560/Wen...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
July 1, 2024
This book has changed my life, mind, and heart. I am so grateful to the friend who recommended it. Easy read with high impact. But take your time with it! Savor the insights and reflect on your feelings.
Navigating the complexities of my relationship with God has been very difficult this year but ultimately super rewarding. Even when the author didn’t have answers, it was so validating to read the stories of people who have felt the same way I have.
Ulrich draws upon her years of professional experience to offer helpful analysis and action items to improve your relationship. There is no judgement. She doesn’t give trite, band-aid statements.
It’s definitely targeted to LDS people, but I think it could be helpful for anyone seeking to understand their perception of God.
Navigating the complexities of my relationship with God has been very difficult this year but ultimately super rewarding. Even when the author didn’t have answers, it was so validating to read the stories of people who have felt the same way I have.
Ulrich draws upon her years of professional experience to offer helpful analysis and action items to improve your relationship. There is no judgement. She doesn’t give trite, band-aid statements.
It’s definitely targeted to LDS people, but I think it could be helpful for anyone seeking to understand their perception of God.
June 8, 2017
This is just a great teaching tool when you are ready to learn more about yourself. So many parts of this book were so beautiful and told so well. I loved the tools she gives you and the learning that comes at the end. I am going to buy this book so I can go back and reread and relearn. This book has helped me and changed my heart. I am so grateful she wrote it and I read it. You will not regret reading this and hopefully having a mighty change of heart so you can know your Heavenly Father better.
July 28, 2019
I really loved this book. Ulrich is a therapist and the way she explained and wrote everything was just perfect.
March 26, 2017
I loved this book! We must be open and receptive to God's love. He is here - close by. This book is helpful in understanding all kinds of relationships. The author mentions four relationship stages (honeymoon, power struggle, withdrawal, acceptance and renewal) and four attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, traumatic). My main takeaways - be vulnerable, humble, picture the Lord nearby, spend time with Him. A few quotes I liked:
"I learned early that prayer is not a magic wand we wave over the problems of our lives... Genuine prayer involves more than performing a ritual, completing a duty, gaining public speaking skill, or learning some secret trick for getting our way. Prayer is how we express our love for God and invite His love to find us (p. x)."
"When Alzheimer's disease robbed my mother of almost every capacity, including the ability to recognize her own children, some of her last comprehensible words were, 'Heavenly Father, please help me.' When my mother no longer knew her name, she knew God's, and she knew He knew her (p. x)."
"Why do our Father and Savior seem to stay so far away? Or are we putting up more obstacles to closeness than we realize? How can we learn to approach these--our most important relationships--with less worry and shame, more trust and hope? How can we more fully receive the love that we've been told They offer but that we don't always feel (p. 3)?"
"Without fully realizing it, many of us fear the vulnerability inherent in such closeness (p. 4)."
"God is inviting us into a deeply intimate relationship with Him, and...this kind of closeness requires us to change not only our behavior but also some of our most basic assumptions about ourselves and our life (p. 5)."
"Spiritual maturity includes.... asking humbly for what we need, and tolerating the disappointment if we don't get it (p. 7)."
"'Why do you keep me so far away?'.... God was inviting me to invite Him closer. For right now, at least, I was in charge of the distance I felt between us (p. 10)"
"I had invited God into my room, but now I was allowing Him close enough to touch me with His finger. I felt as if His eyes, though unseen, penetrated my soul. Every instinct of my heart was to run and hide and beg Him not to look at me with such pure eyes. It was not that I felt displeasure or criticism or expectation from Him--not at all... I felt so known, more known than I have ever felt before. I could not hide. But hiding is what I do (p. 11)!"
"The only way God could come any closer would be for Him to put His arms around me, His face next to my face, His eyes too close to possibly evade. How, how could I let the God of heaven love me that much (p. 12)?"
"More often I speak the words of prayer but I am back to imagining God is some faraway place (p. 13)."
"I am learning to once in a while tolerate intimacy, to be almost comfortable 'encircled about eternally in the arms of his love' (2 Nephi 1:15). On at least some occasions I seem able to let myself believe that God wants to be as close to me as I will let Him.... I have also had to learn that I do not control the distance between me and God--not completely. I cannot force this intimacy, and I cannot create it alone (p. 14)."
"Sometimes we need to try praying longer, out loud, or with a paper and pencil in hand. And sometimes we need to simply invite God to join us...opening our heart to let Him come close and sit with us as we wrestle with a problem, or feel sad, or just stare in wonder at the night sky (p. 15)."
"I build relationships with people by sharing their company, walking with them in the park, laughing together, crying together, having long talks about nothing in particular, struggling together with a problem, feeling heard, sharing hugs, working side by side, hearing their stories, telling them mine, serving on their committees, sitting with them on the beach at sunset, learning from them, teaching them, and saying nothing at all (p. 15)."
"Opening our hearts to receive is our responsibility and privilege (p. 17)."
"Through the course of our relationship with Him, we can expect to be molded into something beautiful (p. 22)."
"Perhaps God is implying that what it takes to have a good relationship with Him is at least something like what it takes to have a good marriage with a fellow mortal: faithfulness, loving kindness, forgiving, deeply knowing, and being deeply known. He seems to be inviting us to that kind of intimacy and oneness (p. 24)."
"The goal of the gospel is not to make us all so alike that we can finally get along, but to teach us the curiosity, open-mindedness, discernment, and compassion to love what we would otherwise be incapable of loving (p. 28)."
"We begin to see our spouse much more clearly for who he or she is: different from us and from who we first thought, wished, or needed him or her to be--but someone we choose, despite these differences, to trust, to love, and to like. The problems may not all get solved, but we learn to work around them, to keep our sense of humor, to see our point of view as just another point of view instead of the one and only right and true way to do life. We are humbled by our partner's deep virtues, deep hurts, and deep preciousness to the Lord. We see ourselves as fallible and faulty contributors to our marital challenges, and we want to try harder. We choose to be more humble, more patient, kinder, gentler (p. 31)."
"Just as no deep and committed adult relationship proceeds seamlessly, without a single disagreement, bringing our will into perfect alignment with God's will usually takes time, effort, self-reflection, and repentance (p. 36)."
"As in a marriage or other long-term committed relationship, a high percentage of problems may simply not be fully resolvable in this life. But that doesn't mean we picked the wrong God or the wrong church. It does mean we need a different strategy, greater patience, a sense of humor, more help, reminders of what we love about God or the Church, or more humble prioritization (p. 37)."
"Joseph learns the hard way that God knows more than he does, that he can't have it all, and that even though God can redeem anything He allows to happy to us, the things we need redemption from can really, really hurt.... Ironically, God's rebuke to Joseph is the first revelation Joseph Smith records for inclusion in the public records of the Church. Joseph Smith seems to think the lessons he learned through his struggle are not for his benefit alone, but something of potential benefit to anyone in a power struggle with God. I'm so grateful for Joseph's willingness to be honest, vulnerable, and humble about his weaknesses and sins as he shares the story of his developing and powerful relationship with God (p. 38)."
"Just as we can't expect to simply change a spouse's personality or behavior, we can't change the Lord. To successfully navigate the power struggle, we have to open ourselves to the possibility that something in us needs changing instead (p. 38)."
"Sometimes the only way we can prepare for new levels of intimacy is just driving down that long, empty road.... We don't need to freak out if we hit Nebraska periods with God when nothing much changes, the radio channels all die out, boredom or relational flatness sets in, and we've run out of things to say. We can just keep driving (p. 41)."
"Lehi, Laman, Lemuel, and Nephi are all invited by the Lord to take a journey to the promised land. But these four...have different responses to the invitation, perhaps in part because they are in different stages of relationship with God (p. 48)."
"Laman and Lemuel do not find the tree or partake of its fruit! They may have felt the powerful reprimand of an angels and the shock of being touched with God's power, but they do not open their hearts to feel God's love, available to all 'who will have him to be their God' (1 Nephi 17:40) (p. 50)."
"A question to consider in the Precommitment Stage with God is, 'Are you willing to let God's love in? Are you willing to commit to loving and trusting Him (p. 52)?'"
"When he comes in person among these wounded and grief-weary survivors, who are still amazed by the extent of their losses but apparently have responded from their hearts to His call to repent, He doesn't just stand up in the sky and shout instructions.... He comes as a real person and says to them in both words and deeds, 'Come to me! See my face. Hear the timbre of my voice as I pray for you and with you. Let me teach you and call you by name. Touch my scars with your fingers. Let me touch you and heal you. Let me hear your most intimate thoughts. Let me feel with you your deepest grief and heartache. Let me make your children my children. Let me minister to you, feed you, and surround you with the evidences of my love (p. 55).'"
"I was somewhat dumbstruck to realize that, over 2,000 years later, I was included in Christ's prayer. I am one who 'believe[s] on their words.' Could it be that Christ, now as then, knows me by name and prays to the Father for me (p. 57)?"
"If you haven't yet opened up your heart to fall in love with God, consider getting on your knees tonight and simply telling Him what you're afraid of, if you know, or asking Him to help you figure it out (p. 57)."
"Just as the Nephites would have perished in unbelief without access to the scriptures, we perish spiritually when we do not remember, reflect on, and learn from our personal experiences with Deity (p. 58)"
"Christ tells the Apostles at the Last Supper that whenever they partake of the bread and wine they should 'remember this hour that I was with you.'.... What have been your sacred suppers with the Lord (p. 58)?"
"God can take our honest concerns and frustrations. But presenting our frustrations to God with whining, shame, blame, self-pity, and resentment--blackmailing God with our misery or anger--these simply don't work (p. 59)."
"As in marriage, I may influence God but I can't change Him. The one person I can change is me, and that is difficult enough (p. 60)."
"We don't learn to tolerate intimacy all by ourselves (p. 63)."
"Remarkably, God doesn't just shape us like clay or herd us like sheep or order us about like slaves. He asks us what we want. He honors our desires and our agency. He invites us into the creative process with Him.... He joins us in our efforts every bit as much as the other way around (p. 66)."
"'After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. They will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil; For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen' (Matthew 6:9-13) (p. 73)."
"We are most likely to grow, learn, and function well when securely attached to people who hold us, delight in us, and engage us warmly and consistently (p. 81)."
"The avoidant attached adult may not feel a real need for closeness with God, whether because he prides himself on independence or because he simply does not expect God to contribute much to his life. Emotional closeness is not something he necessarily values or seeks. In fact, it ma make him anxious to get too close to another, even though he doesn't necessarily look anxious on the outside (p. 86)."
"Self-compassion makes our hearts soft and open and helps us find empathy for others, while rationalization makes us defensive and blaming. Self-compassion reminds us of our worth and motivates us to live our values, while shame locks us in to defensiveness and hiding. God may remind us of our values to inspire clarity and godly sorrow that lead to repentance, but He does not shame or humiliate us (p. 96)."
"We are as branches or stems growing from the enduring, unseen root or vine of Jesus Christ. That root gives us life, allowing us to continue to thrive (p. 99)."
"What I really need to do.... (1) ask more directly for what I need from others and from the Lord, (2) express compassion and empathy for myself, (3) be open to receiving compassion and empathy from God, and (4) take risks to work consistently, creatively, and cheerfully on the challenge at hand (p. 106)."
"We can count on God to help us find meaning and growth through our challenges. We can count on God to help us develop compassion, courage, humility, and faith when darkness reigns or losses multiply. We can count on God for endless posterity, priesthood power, and sustenance sufficient for our needs. In short, we can count on God to redeem every heartache He allows to come our way and to use it to bless us--if we will let Him (p. 123)."
"When you prepare to pray, where do you visualize God being (p. 123)?"
"To strengthen feelings of secure attachment, go straight for physical closeness to those you rely on. Call, schedule a visit, or just walk over and touch or hug someone you love. With God, strengthen feelings of physical closeness by going to the temple grounds, walking in nature, looking at the stars, or imagining God sitting close to you (p. 126)."
"We are more resilient than we think.... We are stronger than we know, just as God is more powerful and wise than we know (p. 132)."
"In order to 'exercise faith in God unto life and salvation' we must have 'a correct idea of his character, perfections, and attributes.' These attributes include that He is 'merciful and gracious, slow to anger, abundant in goodness, and that he was so from everlasting to everlasting....that he is a God of truth and....he is love (p. 138)."
"When He prays, 'Give us this day our daily bread,' He both joins us in our hunger and tutors us in trust that God will provide day by day what we truly need.... Right now, for today, we have enough. Our task is to see, gather, and partake of God's ever-present miracles today (p. 140)."
"Talking with God each day is a wonderful privilege. As we express our concerns, share our feelings, and articulate our goals and needs, we build a relationship in which we can feel known and supported. But prayer is not the only way I gather God to me each day.... God is willing and eager to be with [us] in all things, not just His things.... Our work is also His work (p. 141)."
"When I got tired a few years ago of repeating the same list of requests night and morning in prayer, I decided to prepare for sleep by telling the Lord about my day instead--not making any requests, but praying only gratitude. It was delightful to review the day with my Father in Heaven from this perspective. I tell Him my favorite parts of the day. I bless the names of those who have loved and helped me. I look for lessons in difficult experiences or challenges (p. 145)."
"God doesn't take advantage of one person just to help someone else He cares about more (p. 148)."
"'At the time it felt like all I got was silence for days and weeks at a time. But looking back, I realize God gave me answers as fast as I could make any use of them (p. 149)."
"When I act on quiet impressions and see spiritual results, I am fed with what I need most: assurance that God is with me (p. 149)."
"As she made it a priority to simply sit, it really did feel like God came and sat with her.... She said in her heart to the One sitting beside her, 'Okay, Heavenly Father, where do you want me to begin? I can't do all of this, and I certainly can't do it all at once, but I can do something. Where should I start?' She felt the answer, slow and gentle. 'These are all good things. You can do whatever you like. But this is not what I care about right now. I care about you (p. 152)."
"God's very important work is us. Caring for us, and teaching us to care for each other, is His work. We have the privilege of being engaged in the work of God, and a primary way we build our relationship with Him is to feed His sheep.... He willingly joins us in our work, telling us where to cast our nets and cooking breakfast for us while we do.... Working side by side with the Lord builds our relationship with Him (p. 155)."
"1. Work with God in the present: All I have to do right now is...
2. Thank God in the present: Whatever is going on, right now I am grateful that...
3. Taste and see in the present: Even though I'm unsure, I will act on this quiet hunch to...
4. Be still in the present: Invite God close, and write down what comes up (p. 156)."
"She cannot continue to demand that her mother pay it off if God is going to pay it off. That would not be just. She has to choose: continue to do everything in her power to get her mother to pay the debt, or turn the debt over to God (p. 168)."
"Only God decides who goes to hell, or whose inevitable sentence is commuted because of sincere and complete repentance. In reality, we cannot just choose to forgive ourselves, freeing ourselves from our debts to others. But we can choose to accept the freedom from hell God offers us when He unlocks the door and sets us free (p. 174)."
"Weakness is basically neutral. Satan is eager to play upon our weaknesses to drag us from neutral over to evil. But God has other purposes fro giving us mortal weaknesses. He wants to use our weakness, the weakness of others, and even the weakness of the earth to make us stronger, wiser, and better. As we humbly exercise our agency in response to such weakness, relying on the grace or enabling power of Christ, we can grow, learn, and become resilient (p. 177)."
"Be aware and acknowledge when you're feeling vulnerable to temptation (p. 181)."
"Compassion for ourselves, individual responsibility, and heavenly help can truly 'foil the tempter's power (p. 182).'"
"Being tempted is not the same as giving in to temptation, courting temptation, or dwelling on temptation. Being tempted with pride is not the same as being prideful. Being tempted to be jealous is not the same as being jealous. Being tempted to hold a grudge is not the same as holding a grudge. Can you feel the difference (p. 182)?"
"Christ didn't just assure Mary and Martha that all would be fine and that there was no cause for alarm when Lazarus died... Instead, He wept (p. 184)."
"Holiness is a process I engage in every day as I forgive a debt, overcome a temptation... or get a little better at love (p. 184)."
"The choice to receive that love, partake of that fruit, and participate in that glorious power and kingdom is not one He can make for us. We must choose to receive. We must choose to believe (p. 186)."
"We may keep God far away because our present hungers keep us scrambling and we don't stop to cultivate stillness and invite Him near. We keep ourselves too busy, too preoccupied with our lists and self-expectations to soak in beauty, ponder blessings, or overflow with gratitude (p. 187)."
"Remember God wants to be close to us (p. 188)."
"We need to work on being more open, vulnerable, accepting, and generous in real human relationships with ordinary mortals in order to grow in our capacity to love. Only then can we prepare for genuine closeness with...God (p. 190)."
"Walk with God.... Eat with God.... Work with God.... Play with God.... Go to church with God... If Jesus came to church with us, what would He do? Would He lead the singing, teach Primary, sit in the hall with the teenagers skipping class, or pass the sacrament with the deacons?... Invite God into our conversations.... Pray with God (p. 192)."
"The more we invite God close, the more we learn to see His hand in all good things (p. 196)."
"'I hope you will take time...to sit for a few quiet moments and let the Savior's Spirit warm you and reassure you of the worthiness of your service, of your offering, of your life (Elder Christofferson, p. 202).'"
"I learned early that prayer is not a magic wand we wave over the problems of our lives... Genuine prayer involves more than performing a ritual, completing a duty, gaining public speaking skill, or learning some secret trick for getting our way. Prayer is how we express our love for God and invite His love to find us (p. x)."
"When Alzheimer's disease robbed my mother of almost every capacity, including the ability to recognize her own children, some of her last comprehensible words were, 'Heavenly Father, please help me.' When my mother no longer knew her name, she knew God's, and she knew He knew her (p. x)."
"Why do our Father and Savior seem to stay so far away? Or are we putting up more obstacles to closeness than we realize? How can we learn to approach these--our most important relationships--with less worry and shame, more trust and hope? How can we more fully receive the love that we've been told They offer but that we don't always feel (p. 3)?"
"Without fully realizing it, many of us fear the vulnerability inherent in such closeness (p. 4)."
"God is inviting us into a deeply intimate relationship with Him, and...this kind of closeness requires us to change not only our behavior but also some of our most basic assumptions about ourselves and our life (p. 5)."
"Spiritual maturity includes.... asking humbly for what we need, and tolerating the disappointment if we don't get it (p. 7)."
"'Why do you keep me so far away?'.... God was inviting me to invite Him closer. For right now, at least, I was in charge of the distance I felt between us (p. 10)"
"I had invited God into my room, but now I was allowing Him close enough to touch me with His finger. I felt as if His eyes, though unseen, penetrated my soul. Every instinct of my heart was to run and hide and beg Him not to look at me with such pure eyes. It was not that I felt displeasure or criticism or expectation from Him--not at all... I felt so known, more known than I have ever felt before. I could not hide. But hiding is what I do (p. 11)!"
"The only way God could come any closer would be for Him to put His arms around me, His face next to my face, His eyes too close to possibly evade. How, how could I let the God of heaven love me that much (p. 12)?"
"More often I speak the words of prayer but I am back to imagining God is some faraway place (p. 13)."
"I am learning to once in a while tolerate intimacy, to be almost comfortable 'encircled about eternally in the arms of his love' (2 Nephi 1:15). On at least some occasions I seem able to let myself believe that God wants to be as close to me as I will let Him.... I have also had to learn that I do not control the distance between me and God--not completely. I cannot force this intimacy, and I cannot create it alone (p. 14)."
"Sometimes we need to try praying longer, out loud, or with a paper and pencil in hand. And sometimes we need to simply invite God to join us...opening our heart to let Him come close and sit with us as we wrestle with a problem, or feel sad, or just stare in wonder at the night sky (p. 15)."
"I build relationships with people by sharing their company, walking with them in the park, laughing together, crying together, having long talks about nothing in particular, struggling together with a problem, feeling heard, sharing hugs, working side by side, hearing their stories, telling them mine, serving on their committees, sitting with them on the beach at sunset, learning from them, teaching them, and saying nothing at all (p. 15)."
"Opening our hearts to receive is our responsibility and privilege (p. 17)."
"Through the course of our relationship with Him, we can expect to be molded into something beautiful (p. 22)."
"Perhaps God is implying that what it takes to have a good relationship with Him is at least something like what it takes to have a good marriage with a fellow mortal: faithfulness, loving kindness, forgiving, deeply knowing, and being deeply known. He seems to be inviting us to that kind of intimacy and oneness (p. 24)."
"The goal of the gospel is not to make us all so alike that we can finally get along, but to teach us the curiosity, open-mindedness, discernment, and compassion to love what we would otherwise be incapable of loving (p. 28)."
"We begin to see our spouse much more clearly for who he or she is: different from us and from who we first thought, wished, or needed him or her to be--but someone we choose, despite these differences, to trust, to love, and to like. The problems may not all get solved, but we learn to work around them, to keep our sense of humor, to see our point of view as just another point of view instead of the one and only right and true way to do life. We are humbled by our partner's deep virtues, deep hurts, and deep preciousness to the Lord. We see ourselves as fallible and faulty contributors to our marital challenges, and we want to try harder. We choose to be more humble, more patient, kinder, gentler (p. 31)."
"Just as no deep and committed adult relationship proceeds seamlessly, without a single disagreement, bringing our will into perfect alignment with God's will usually takes time, effort, self-reflection, and repentance (p. 36)."
"As in a marriage or other long-term committed relationship, a high percentage of problems may simply not be fully resolvable in this life. But that doesn't mean we picked the wrong God or the wrong church. It does mean we need a different strategy, greater patience, a sense of humor, more help, reminders of what we love about God or the Church, or more humble prioritization (p. 37)."
"Joseph learns the hard way that God knows more than he does, that he can't have it all, and that even though God can redeem anything He allows to happy to us, the things we need redemption from can really, really hurt.... Ironically, God's rebuke to Joseph is the first revelation Joseph Smith records for inclusion in the public records of the Church. Joseph Smith seems to think the lessons he learned through his struggle are not for his benefit alone, but something of potential benefit to anyone in a power struggle with God. I'm so grateful for Joseph's willingness to be honest, vulnerable, and humble about his weaknesses and sins as he shares the story of his developing and powerful relationship with God (p. 38)."
"Just as we can't expect to simply change a spouse's personality or behavior, we can't change the Lord. To successfully navigate the power struggle, we have to open ourselves to the possibility that something in us needs changing instead (p. 38)."
"Sometimes the only way we can prepare for new levels of intimacy is just driving down that long, empty road.... We don't need to freak out if we hit Nebraska periods with God when nothing much changes, the radio channels all die out, boredom or relational flatness sets in, and we've run out of things to say. We can just keep driving (p. 41)."
"Lehi, Laman, Lemuel, and Nephi are all invited by the Lord to take a journey to the promised land. But these four...have different responses to the invitation, perhaps in part because they are in different stages of relationship with God (p. 48)."
"Laman and Lemuel do not find the tree or partake of its fruit! They may have felt the powerful reprimand of an angels and the shock of being touched with God's power, but they do not open their hearts to feel God's love, available to all 'who will have him to be their God' (1 Nephi 17:40) (p. 50)."
"A question to consider in the Precommitment Stage with God is, 'Are you willing to let God's love in? Are you willing to commit to loving and trusting Him (p. 52)?'"
"When he comes in person among these wounded and grief-weary survivors, who are still amazed by the extent of their losses but apparently have responded from their hearts to His call to repent, He doesn't just stand up in the sky and shout instructions.... He comes as a real person and says to them in both words and deeds, 'Come to me! See my face. Hear the timbre of my voice as I pray for you and with you. Let me teach you and call you by name. Touch my scars with your fingers. Let me touch you and heal you. Let me hear your most intimate thoughts. Let me feel with you your deepest grief and heartache. Let me make your children my children. Let me minister to you, feed you, and surround you with the evidences of my love (p. 55).'"
"I was somewhat dumbstruck to realize that, over 2,000 years later, I was included in Christ's prayer. I am one who 'believe[s] on their words.' Could it be that Christ, now as then, knows me by name and prays to the Father for me (p. 57)?"
"If you haven't yet opened up your heart to fall in love with God, consider getting on your knees tonight and simply telling Him what you're afraid of, if you know, or asking Him to help you figure it out (p. 57)."
"Just as the Nephites would have perished in unbelief without access to the scriptures, we perish spiritually when we do not remember, reflect on, and learn from our personal experiences with Deity (p. 58)"
"Christ tells the Apostles at the Last Supper that whenever they partake of the bread and wine they should 'remember this hour that I was with you.'.... What have been your sacred suppers with the Lord (p. 58)?"
"God can take our honest concerns and frustrations. But presenting our frustrations to God with whining, shame, blame, self-pity, and resentment--blackmailing God with our misery or anger--these simply don't work (p. 59)."
"As in marriage, I may influence God but I can't change Him. The one person I can change is me, and that is difficult enough (p. 60)."
"We don't learn to tolerate intimacy all by ourselves (p. 63)."
"Remarkably, God doesn't just shape us like clay or herd us like sheep or order us about like slaves. He asks us what we want. He honors our desires and our agency. He invites us into the creative process with Him.... He joins us in our efforts every bit as much as the other way around (p. 66)."
"'After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. They will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil; For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen' (Matthew 6:9-13) (p. 73)."
"We are most likely to grow, learn, and function well when securely attached to people who hold us, delight in us, and engage us warmly and consistently (p. 81)."
"The avoidant attached adult may not feel a real need for closeness with God, whether because he prides himself on independence or because he simply does not expect God to contribute much to his life. Emotional closeness is not something he necessarily values or seeks. In fact, it ma make him anxious to get too close to another, even though he doesn't necessarily look anxious on the outside (p. 86)."
"Self-compassion makes our hearts soft and open and helps us find empathy for others, while rationalization makes us defensive and blaming. Self-compassion reminds us of our worth and motivates us to live our values, while shame locks us in to defensiveness and hiding. God may remind us of our values to inspire clarity and godly sorrow that lead to repentance, but He does not shame or humiliate us (p. 96)."
"We are as branches or stems growing from the enduring, unseen root or vine of Jesus Christ. That root gives us life, allowing us to continue to thrive (p. 99)."
"What I really need to do.... (1) ask more directly for what I need from others and from the Lord, (2) express compassion and empathy for myself, (3) be open to receiving compassion and empathy from God, and (4) take risks to work consistently, creatively, and cheerfully on the challenge at hand (p. 106)."
"We can count on God to help us find meaning and growth through our challenges. We can count on God to help us develop compassion, courage, humility, and faith when darkness reigns or losses multiply. We can count on God for endless posterity, priesthood power, and sustenance sufficient for our needs. In short, we can count on God to redeem every heartache He allows to come our way and to use it to bless us--if we will let Him (p. 123)."
"When you prepare to pray, where do you visualize God being (p. 123)?"
"To strengthen feelings of secure attachment, go straight for physical closeness to those you rely on. Call, schedule a visit, or just walk over and touch or hug someone you love. With God, strengthen feelings of physical closeness by going to the temple grounds, walking in nature, looking at the stars, or imagining God sitting close to you (p. 126)."
"We are more resilient than we think.... We are stronger than we know, just as God is more powerful and wise than we know (p. 132)."
"In order to 'exercise faith in God unto life and salvation' we must have 'a correct idea of his character, perfections, and attributes.' These attributes include that He is 'merciful and gracious, slow to anger, abundant in goodness, and that he was so from everlasting to everlasting....that he is a God of truth and....he is love (p. 138)."
"When He prays, 'Give us this day our daily bread,' He both joins us in our hunger and tutors us in trust that God will provide day by day what we truly need.... Right now, for today, we have enough. Our task is to see, gather, and partake of God's ever-present miracles today (p. 140)."
"Talking with God each day is a wonderful privilege. As we express our concerns, share our feelings, and articulate our goals and needs, we build a relationship in which we can feel known and supported. But prayer is not the only way I gather God to me each day.... God is willing and eager to be with [us] in all things, not just His things.... Our work is also His work (p. 141)."
"When I got tired a few years ago of repeating the same list of requests night and morning in prayer, I decided to prepare for sleep by telling the Lord about my day instead--not making any requests, but praying only gratitude. It was delightful to review the day with my Father in Heaven from this perspective. I tell Him my favorite parts of the day. I bless the names of those who have loved and helped me. I look for lessons in difficult experiences or challenges (p. 145)."
"God doesn't take advantage of one person just to help someone else He cares about more (p. 148)."
"'At the time it felt like all I got was silence for days and weeks at a time. But looking back, I realize God gave me answers as fast as I could make any use of them (p. 149)."
"When I act on quiet impressions and see spiritual results, I am fed with what I need most: assurance that God is with me (p. 149)."
"As she made it a priority to simply sit, it really did feel like God came and sat with her.... She said in her heart to the One sitting beside her, 'Okay, Heavenly Father, where do you want me to begin? I can't do all of this, and I certainly can't do it all at once, but I can do something. Where should I start?' She felt the answer, slow and gentle. 'These are all good things. You can do whatever you like. But this is not what I care about right now. I care about you (p. 152)."
"God's very important work is us. Caring for us, and teaching us to care for each other, is His work. We have the privilege of being engaged in the work of God, and a primary way we build our relationship with Him is to feed His sheep.... He willingly joins us in our work, telling us where to cast our nets and cooking breakfast for us while we do.... Working side by side with the Lord builds our relationship with Him (p. 155)."
"1. Work with God in the present: All I have to do right now is...
2. Thank God in the present: Whatever is going on, right now I am grateful that...
3. Taste and see in the present: Even though I'm unsure, I will act on this quiet hunch to...
4. Be still in the present: Invite God close, and write down what comes up (p. 156)."
"She cannot continue to demand that her mother pay it off if God is going to pay it off. That would not be just. She has to choose: continue to do everything in her power to get her mother to pay the debt, or turn the debt over to God (p. 168)."
"Only God decides who goes to hell, or whose inevitable sentence is commuted because of sincere and complete repentance. In reality, we cannot just choose to forgive ourselves, freeing ourselves from our debts to others. But we can choose to accept the freedom from hell God offers us when He unlocks the door and sets us free (p. 174)."
"Weakness is basically neutral. Satan is eager to play upon our weaknesses to drag us from neutral over to evil. But God has other purposes fro giving us mortal weaknesses. He wants to use our weakness, the weakness of others, and even the weakness of the earth to make us stronger, wiser, and better. As we humbly exercise our agency in response to such weakness, relying on the grace or enabling power of Christ, we can grow, learn, and become resilient (p. 177)."
"Be aware and acknowledge when you're feeling vulnerable to temptation (p. 181)."
"Compassion for ourselves, individual responsibility, and heavenly help can truly 'foil the tempter's power (p. 182).'"
"Being tempted is not the same as giving in to temptation, courting temptation, or dwelling on temptation. Being tempted with pride is not the same as being prideful. Being tempted to be jealous is not the same as being jealous. Being tempted to hold a grudge is not the same as holding a grudge. Can you feel the difference (p. 182)?"
"Christ didn't just assure Mary and Martha that all would be fine and that there was no cause for alarm when Lazarus died... Instead, He wept (p. 184)."
"Holiness is a process I engage in every day as I forgive a debt, overcome a temptation... or get a little better at love (p. 184)."
"The choice to receive that love, partake of that fruit, and participate in that glorious power and kingdom is not one He can make for us. We must choose to receive. We must choose to believe (p. 186)."
"We may keep God far away because our present hungers keep us scrambling and we don't stop to cultivate stillness and invite Him near. We keep ourselves too busy, too preoccupied with our lists and self-expectations to soak in beauty, ponder blessings, or overflow with gratitude (p. 187)."
"Remember God wants to be close to us (p. 188)."
"We need to work on being more open, vulnerable, accepting, and generous in real human relationships with ordinary mortals in order to grow in our capacity to love. Only then can we prepare for genuine closeness with...God (p. 190)."
"Walk with God.... Eat with God.... Work with God.... Play with God.... Go to church with God... If Jesus came to church with us, what would He do? Would He lead the singing, teach Primary, sit in the hall with the teenagers skipping class, or pass the sacrament with the deacons?... Invite God into our conversations.... Pray with God (p. 192)."
"The more we invite God close, the more we learn to see His hand in all good things (p. 196)."
"'I hope you will take time...to sit for a few quiet moments and let the Savior's Spirit warm you and reassure you of the worthiness of your service, of your offering, of your life (Elder Christofferson, p. 202).'"
January 6, 2018
this was a hard book to read. It gave me too much to think about.
September 16, 2020
This book rang true to me, especially the stages of committed relationships and our relationship with God, how we can gain compassion for the past and choose trust for the future, how to practice stillness in the present. In short how we can let God love us.
"I learned early that prayer is not a magic wand we wave over the problems of our lives... Genuine prayer involves more than performing a ritual, completing a duty, gaining public speaking skill, or learning some secret trick for getting our way. Prayer is how we express our love for God and invite His love to find us (p. x)."
"When Alzheimer's disease robbed my mother of almost every capacity, including the ability to recognize her own children, some of her last comprehensible words were, 'Heavenly Father, please help me.' When my mother no longer knew her name, she knew God's, and she knew He knew her (p. x)."
"God is inviting us into a deeply intimate relationship with Him, and...this kind of closeness requires us to change not only our behavior but also some of our most basic assumptions about ourselves and our life. (p. 5)
"The only way God could come any closer would be for Him to put His arms around me, His face next to my face, His eyes too close to possibly evade. How, how could I let the God of heaven love me that much (p. 12)?"
"Perhaps God is implying that what it takes to have a good relationship with Him is at least something like what it takes to have a good marriage with a fellow mortal: faithfulness, loving kindness, forgiving, deeply knowing, and being deeply known. He seems to be inviting us to that kind of intimacy and oneness (p. 24)."
"We begin to see our spouse much more clearly for who he or she is: different from us and from who we first thought, wished, or needed him or her to be--but someone we choose, despite these differences, to trust, to love, and to like. The problems may not all get solved, but we learn to work around them, to keep our sense of humor, to see our point of view as just another point of view instead of the one and only right and true way to do life. We are humbled by our partner's deep virtues, deep hurts, and deep preciousness to the Lord. We see ourselves as fallible and faulty contributors to our marital challenges, and we want to try harder. We choose to be more humble, more patient, kinder, gentler (p. 31)."
"When he comes in person among these wounded and grief-weary survivors, who are still amazed by the extent of their losses but apparently have responded from their hearts to His call to repent, He doesn't just stand up in the sky and shout instructions.... He comes as a real person and says to them in both words and deeds, 'Come to me! See my face. Hear the timbre of my voice as I pray for you and with you. Let me teach you and call you by name. Touch my scars with your fingers. Let me touch you and heal you. Let me hear your most intimate thoughts. Let me feel with you your deepest grief and heartache. Let me make your children my children. Let me minister to you, feed you, and surround you with the evidences of my love." (p. 55).
"I was somewhat dumbstruck to realize that, over 2,000 years later, I was included in Christ's prayer. I am one who 'believe[s] on their words.' Could it be that Christ, now as then, knows me by name and prays to the Father for me (p. 57)?"
"Christ tells the Apostles at the Last Supper that whenever they partake of the bread and wine they should 'remember this hour that I was with you.'.... What have been your sacred suppers with the Lord (p. 58)?"
"He doesn't just turn us into pots, but He makes us potters.
This makes no sense. It is unfathomable. But it is how the omnipotent, holy God stands humbly before our agency, offering us His heart and His help in navigation the complexities of using that agency well.
How do we not fall in love with such a God?" (p. 67)
"When He prays, 'Give us this day our daily bread,' He both joins us in our hunger and tutors us in trust that God will provide day by day what we truly need.... Right now, for today, we have enough. Our task is to see, gather, and partake of God's ever-present miracles today (p. 140)."
“Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes.”
(p. 141)
"God's very important work is us. Caring for us, and teaching us to care for each other, is His work. We have the privilege of being engaged in the work of God, and a primary way we build our relationship with Him is to feed His sheep.... He willingly joins us in our work, telling us where to cast our nets and cooking breakfast for us while we do.... Working side by side with the Lord builds our relationship with Him (p. 155)."
"Christ didn't just assure Mary and Martha that all would be fine and that there was no cause for alarm when Lazarus died... Instead, He wept (p. 184)." “From His perspective, God always knows that ultimately there is no cause for alarm. Everything will be fine. All of our losses will be made up. All of our injuries will be healed. And yet, He weeps with us. I stand all amazed at such love.”
(Desmond Tutu) “I am trying to grow in just being there. Like when you sit in front of a fire in winter, you are just there in front of the fire, and you don’t have to be smart of anything The fire warms you.”
“I think that is a lovely metaphor – just sit with the Lord and let Him warm you like a fire in winter. You don’t have to be perfect or the greatest person who ever graced the earth or the best of anything to be with Him.”
"'I hope you will take time...to sit for a few quiet moments and let the Savior's Spirit warm you and reassure you of the worthiness of your service, of your offering, of your life (Elder Christofferson, p. 202).
"I learned early that prayer is not a magic wand we wave over the problems of our lives... Genuine prayer involves more than performing a ritual, completing a duty, gaining public speaking skill, or learning some secret trick for getting our way. Prayer is how we express our love for God and invite His love to find us (p. x)."
"When Alzheimer's disease robbed my mother of almost every capacity, including the ability to recognize her own children, some of her last comprehensible words were, 'Heavenly Father, please help me.' When my mother no longer knew her name, she knew God's, and she knew He knew her (p. x)."
"God is inviting us into a deeply intimate relationship with Him, and...this kind of closeness requires us to change not only our behavior but also some of our most basic assumptions about ourselves and our life. (p. 5)
"The only way God could come any closer would be for Him to put His arms around me, His face next to my face, His eyes too close to possibly evade. How, how could I let the God of heaven love me that much (p. 12)?"
"Perhaps God is implying that what it takes to have a good relationship with Him is at least something like what it takes to have a good marriage with a fellow mortal: faithfulness, loving kindness, forgiving, deeply knowing, and being deeply known. He seems to be inviting us to that kind of intimacy and oneness (p. 24)."
"We begin to see our spouse much more clearly for who he or she is: different from us and from who we first thought, wished, or needed him or her to be--but someone we choose, despite these differences, to trust, to love, and to like. The problems may not all get solved, but we learn to work around them, to keep our sense of humor, to see our point of view as just another point of view instead of the one and only right and true way to do life. We are humbled by our partner's deep virtues, deep hurts, and deep preciousness to the Lord. We see ourselves as fallible and faulty contributors to our marital challenges, and we want to try harder. We choose to be more humble, more patient, kinder, gentler (p. 31)."
"When he comes in person among these wounded and grief-weary survivors, who are still amazed by the extent of their losses but apparently have responded from their hearts to His call to repent, He doesn't just stand up in the sky and shout instructions.... He comes as a real person and says to them in both words and deeds, 'Come to me! See my face. Hear the timbre of my voice as I pray for you and with you. Let me teach you and call you by name. Touch my scars with your fingers. Let me touch you and heal you. Let me hear your most intimate thoughts. Let me feel with you your deepest grief and heartache. Let me make your children my children. Let me minister to you, feed you, and surround you with the evidences of my love." (p. 55).
"I was somewhat dumbstruck to realize that, over 2,000 years later, I was included in Christ's prayer. I am one who 'believe[s] on their words.' Could it be that Christ, now as then, knows me by name and prays to the Father for me (p. 57)?"
"Christ tells the Apostles at the Last Supper that whenever they partake of the bread and wine they should 'remember this hour that I was with you.'.... What have been your sacred suppers with the Lord (p. 58)?"
"He doesn't just turn us into pots, but He makes us potters.
This makes no sense. It is unfathomable. But it is how the omnipotent, holy God stands humbly before our agency, offering us His heart and His help in navigation the complexities of using that agency well.
How do we not fall in love with such a God?" (p. 67)
"When He prays, 'Give us this day our daily bread,' He both joins us in our hunger and tutors us in trust that God will provide day by day what we truly need.... Right now, for today, we have enough. Our task is to see, gather, and partake of God's ever-present miracles today (p. 140)."
“Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes.”
(p. 141)
"God's very important work is us. Caring for us, and teaching us to care for each other, is His work. We have the privilege of being engaged in the work of God, and a primary way we build our relationship with Him is to feed His sheep.... He willingly joins us in our work, telling us where to cast our nets and cooking breakfast for us while we do.... Working side by side with the Lord builds our relationship with Him (p. 155)."
"Christ didn't just assure Mary and Martha that all would be fine and that there was no cause for alarm when Lazarus died... Instead, He wept (p. 184)." “From His perspective, God always knows that ultimately there is no cause for alarm. Everything will be fine. All of our losses will be made up. All of our injuries will be healed. And yet, He weeps with us. I stand all amazed at such love.”
(Desmond Tutu) “I am trying to grow in just being there. Like when you sit in front of a fire in winter, you are just there in front of the fire, and you don’t have to be smart of anything The fire warms you.”
“I think that is a lovely metaphor – just sit with the Lord and let Him warm you like a fire in winter. You don’t have to be perfect or the greatest person who ever graced the earth or the best of anything to be with Him.”
"'I hope you will take time...to sit for a few quiet moments and let the Savior's Spirit warm you and reassure you of the worthiness of your service, of your offering, of your life (Elder Christofferson, p. 202).
November 4, 2016
Thought provoking
Warning. This book will draw you closer to God. Great perspectives. Great questions to ponder. If you read this book fast, you will miss its power. Take your time. Try some of the reflective questions yourself.
This is not doctrinal, rather it is an application of doctrinal principles in our real, hectic lives.
For the imperfect person that wants a closer relationship, the concepts here can be a great catalyst for that.
Warning. This book will draw you closer to God. Great perspectives. Great questions to ponder. If you read this book fast, you will miss its power. Take your time. Try some of the reflective questions yourself.
This is not doctrinal, rather it is an application of doctrinal principles in our real, hectic lives.
For the imperfect person that wants a closer relationship, the concepts here can be a great catalyst for that.
September 5, 2016
This book is PHENOMENAL!
So many thoughts worth pondering!
Filled with stories that you can relate to-- you will discover a desire to strengthen your relationship with our Heavenly Father and find the help to do so.
So many thoughts worth pondering!
Filled with stories that you can relate to-- you will discover a desire to strengthen your relationship with our Heavenly Father and find the help to do so.
June 11, 2020
What an AMAZING book! Normally I just post a link to the review on my website, but I want it to be as accessible as possible, so here it is in its entirety:
********************************************
Once in a very great while I will read a book and think, “If I was more eloquent and disciplined, this is the book I would’ve liked to write.”
Fortunately, probably more successfully, Wendy Ulrich beat me to it.
For many, just believing that God exists is a challenge. That’s a subject for another book. (One I have no plans to write.) But for the rest of us, the biggest challenges can be keeping Him close, feeling worthy of His love, and being assured that He is listening when we pray. Admitting these challenges, even to like-minded friends and family, is equally difficult. It feels like a massive character flaw.
Wendy Ulrich, who I saw speak at an event in 2012, addresses these challenges and more in her book Let God Love You: Why We Don’t, How We Can. Although Ulrich is a psychologist–which would normally have me running in the opposite direction–she doesn’t use professional terms to make her point. Instead, she takes a very courageous route, an incredibly vulnerable route, tapping into all of her own insecurities with her personal relationship with God over the years and sharing them with us.
At times I felt almost numb. Her sentiments echoed mine in a way that was so accurate, it was almost scary. Her concerns, her fears, her highs and lows felt so relatable. I could feel myself nodding along and thinking, “yes, Yes, YES…These are all things I’ve felt too.” After a while I thought, “I should just stop highlighting, because I’m highlighting everything.” Other reviewers have said the exact same thing.
Not only was it extremely satisfying to know that someone else has gone through the same struggles I have while trying to feel God’s closeness, but it was a relief to know the root of those struggles (she shares many possibilities) and to know that there is hope. Hope, being a core element of faith. Faith being the “assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Some may ask, “If being close to God is so hard, why try at all?” Good question.
Obviously, the desire to believe in God (or not) is a choice we all make. But, like anything else worthwhile, it takes practice. Knowing there is hope of getting closer to Him by understanding what we might be doing to keep Him at a distance is a major step. The most important lesson I learned is that we often project human flaws on God because being flawed humans–who often hurt and disappoint each other– is all we know.
It’s been a long time since I could honestly say I was “blown away” by a book, but I was with this one. Yes, it forces introspection and self-examination, sometimes admitting things we are secretly ashamed of and have tucked away, possibly for years. But for those of us who think having a better relationship with God is worth it, which I most certainly do, this book is a wondrous read that far surpassed my expectations. And, while Ulrich is an LDS author, the principles of the book are for anyone and everyone.
10/10 Stars (A rating I reserve for a select few.)
********************************************
Once in a very great while I will read a book and think, “If I was more eloquent and disciplined, this is the book I would’ve liked to write.”
Fortunately, probably more successfully, Wendy Ulrich beat me to it.
For many, just believing that God exists is a challenge. That’s a subject for another book. (One I have no plans to write.) But for the rest of us, the biggest challenges can be keeping Him close, feeling worthy of His love, and being assured that He is listening when we pray. Admitting these challenges, even to like-minded friends and family, is equally difficult. It feels like a massive character flaw.
Wendy Ulrich, who I saw speak at an event in 2012, addresses these challenges and more in her book Let God Love You: Why We Don’t, How We Can. Although Ulrich is a psychologist–which would normally have me running in the opposite direction–she doesn’t use professional terms to make her point. Instead, she takes a very courageous route, an incredibly vulnerable route, tapping into all of her own insecurities with her personal relationship with God over the years and sharing them with us.
At times I felt almost numb. Her sentiments echoed mine in a way that was so accurate, it was almost scary. Her concerns, her fears, her highs and lows felt so relatable. I could feel myself nodding along and thinking, “yes, Yes, YES…These are all things I’ve felt too.” After a while I thought, “I should just stop highlighting, because I’m highlighting everything.” Other reviewers have said the exact same thing.
Not only was it extremely satisfying to know that someone else has gone through the same struggles I have while trying to feel God’s closeness, but it was a relief to know the root of those struggles (she shares many possibilities) and to know that there is hope. Hope, being a core element of faith. Faith being the “assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Some may ask, “If being close to God is so hard, why try at all?” Good question.
Obviously, the desire to believe in God (or not) is a choice we all make. But, like anything else worthwhile, it takes practice. Knowing there is hope of getting closer to Him by understanding what we might be doing to keep Him at a distance is a major step. The most important lesson I learned is that we often project human flaws on God because being flawed humans–who often hurt and disappoint each other– is all we know.
It’s been a long time since I could honestly say I was “blown away” by a book, but I was with this one. Yes, it forces introspection and self-examination, sometimes admitting things we are secretly ashamed of and have tucked away, possibly for years. But for those of us who think having a better relationship with God is worth it, which I most certainly do, this book is a wondrous read that far surpassed my expectations. And, while Ulrich is an LDS author, the principles of the book are for anyone and everyone.
10/10 Stars (A rating I reserve for a select few.)
January 25, 2023
I've heard of this book for probably most of the years since it was written and finally got to read it. I guess from the title and from whatever I'd heard I was expecting something that might seem a little more "feel good" (aka fluffy), but it's actually among the best of the style of books and life that I was raised with, aka practical and giving truth in the right way, so that a hearer of that truth realizes that truth is what comforts, and being enlightened is what brings the "feel good." Knowing what I know, both from a gospel perspective and also from a "therapy perspective," and always looking for another book that explains things well for people who could be in the situation of wondering if they should "keep being members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints," or for people who would be benefitted, when they have a problem in life, by sitting down and going over everything again to make sure they know the gospel and then make sure they are applying it to themselves, and also just for a book that actually does a clean and concise and true job of explaining marriage (the book isn't about marriage between couples but the author does sum that up in order to then compare it to a relationship between a person and God), I feel like this book does all that, and doesn't leave anything obvious out, and doesn't add anything to make things any more fluffy. So maybe not exactly what I was expecting in the method of putting the book's message across, but even more worth giving 5 stars to, maybe, when I know what the delivery style is, and certainly this is a book that I could see adding to my bookshelf downstairs so my kids would see it and might pull it out and read it at about age 10 (that's the kind of thing I did with books like this in my parents' house), and I wouldn't be displeased if they got their hands on it.
May 20, 2020
Probably one of the most important books I've ever read! I think it can be life-changing to understand where you have been, where you are, and where you can be with your faith, spirituality, or closeness to God. Despite the title's implication that this book may just be for people who feel disconnected or broken, I think it can help all of us get a better picture of who God is, how we relate to him, and how we can connect better with him. The author is a therapist, and she first teaches about the stages of committed relationships and how they relate to our connection with God. Then she uses the Lord's Prayer as a framework for explaining principles of understanding, trusting, and connecting with God better. I recommend buying this book so you can mark it up and refer to it again and again!
July 21, 2020
Literally a life-changing book for me. It was a slow read because there was much to chew on and digest and apply throughout. Analyzing my attachment style with God and looking at the relationship like any other had never occurred to me but brought a wealth of insights and benefits. Likewise the sections going through the past and future provided me with context and real-world approaches that were incredibly important. The last section on being in the present has proved to be the most life-changing, in this time of uncertainty and pandemic it was just what I needed to read. The title of this book doesn't quite do it justice. It's as much about your relationship with God as it is about living a life with God. So glad I randomly picked this up and looking forward to reading more from Ulrich in the future.
March 15, 2021
Building a relationship with anyone takes work. And that includes our relationship with God. The relationships and experiences we have with others can color how we view and reach out to our Heavenly Father. If we have emotionally distant parents, we may view God as the same type of father. If we have a violent upbringing, we may expect a God that is vengeful and angry. Even if we have a loving upbringing, we may have difficulties sharing our feelings and emotions with others, including God. This is reality; this is part of the human experience.
How do we come to a point of trusting Him, believing Him, believing that he loves, trusts and believes in us? That is what this book is about. And it is beautiful. It will stretch you brain, your emotions and your thoughts. But it also shows what is possible--an incredibly personal, loving relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
How do we come to a point of trusting Him, believing Him, believing that he loves, trusts and believes in us? That is what this book is about. And it is beautiful. It will stretch you brain, your emotions and your thoughts. But it also shows what is possible--an incredibly personal, loving relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
July 12, 2017
So great to have a LDS therapist's perspective on self-worth, self care, and how our relationship with God is tied up in all of that. I was possibly in tears every time I picked it up, and this kind of work can be a little exhausting, which is why it took so long for me to get through it. I have a long way to go to feel the way I want to about myself and my relationship with God, but I have some tools and ideas for how to silence the negative self-talk, replace it with something better, and gain the peace I've been hoping for. Highly recommended.
November 20, 2018
I read this book with a friend and discussed almost daily our thought regarding some of it's passages. Wendy Ulrich really helps readers pick apart their views of God based on relationships they've had with other people and life experiences in general. After picking that apart, she offers very helpful guidance on how to repair and strengthen a relationship with God. Some parts are a little cheesy, but most examples are very real and very relatable. I would recommend this book to anyone who seeks to have a healthy relationship with God.
July 1, 2019
There were parts of this book that were profoundly touching and helpful to me, many of those parts were when the author shared personal experiences or stories. But, much of the book I felt bogged down in a therapy session, of which I wasn’t aware that I needed. She tries to make a connection between our relationships with our parents to our relationship with God. Speaking of attachment and how to overcome attachment issues. So, while I did live parts, many parts, it was difficult getting through the book.
February 28, 2019
I absolutely love Wendy Ulrich and all her books. I appreciate her humble and real approach. This book was powerful and applied psychology to our relationship with God and the gospel. Masterfully written. Powerful insights. Life-changing takeaways. I love that she doesn’t have a cookie-cutter solution but gives tools for life and how to handle struggles with faith and God. Will definitely read again and again. It’s one of those worth keeping on my bookshelf.
March 8, 2023
This book took me longer to read than I had originally intended - probably because I started it while in the midst of a family crisis - this book did offer me strength and insight into how my brain works. I was also reading a book called Attached recently, and both kind of go hand in hand to help one figure out their attachment styles to both earthly beings and a higher power. I definitely recommend reading this one if you are looking for ways to connect to a higher power on a deeper level.
December 11, 2020
4.7. This book, at the time I read it, was very powerful to me. She is a psychologist who explores how our relationship with God is affected by our relationships on earth with other people. She gives a lot of practical tools for letting God love you.
*This book is good for everyone, but I think perfectionists or people who are very hard on themselves will connect with it on a much deeper level.
*This book is good for everyone, but I think perfectionists or people who are very hard on themselves will connect with it on a much deeper level.
April 8, 2019
great book! It really clearly dives into many of the issues that block our connection and offers some simple and some not so simple changes we can implement to remedy that situation. I know my connection to God grew exponentially while reading this and since.
March 28, 2020
The book gives a great comparison between God and the levels of relationships with spouses, however it was overly long and gave heaps of advice. I recommend reading the first few chapters however and the end. it has good content and is validating
July 19, 2020
I love how she pulls in Attachment Theory, how it relates to parents and our other relationships. I also appreciate her vulnerability in sharing her own experiences with both fear and talking to God and how it has affected her life.
July 17, 2021
I loved this book! I think everyone should read it - those who are secure in their relationship with God and those who don’t.
This book gives insight into why we often don’t let God into our lives and gives tools and strategies on how we can more fully let God in.
Great great book!
Read it!
This book gives insight into why we often don’t let God into our lives and gives tools and strategies on how we can more fully let God in.
Great great book!
Read it!
September 9, 2021
I just love all of her books so so so much. And then I went to an area training where she spoke, and she did soooo well there too (so much more humorous when she's speaking than in her writing, which is a bonus), so now I've met her twice.
January 18, 2024
This is such a helpful book. I love the workbook at the end. It was eye opening helping me see some of the blockages in my life and how I perceive God. This isn't just a fluffy book, it has real tools to work through struggles. Would definitely recommend.
November 22, 2025
This took me wayyyyy too long to read but ya know, life. This book was good. A few chapters and paragraphs here and there that really stood out to me and hopefully I’ll remember. The honeymoon stuff just…. I couldn’t look past it but I can understand what she was getting at. Overall it was fine.
February 9, 2017
This book can help you spot troubles with your relationship with Deity as well as earthly relationship troubles. I recommend it.
May 9, 2017
This has been a beneficial book to read. I am so glad I did.
January 30, 2018
A most insightful read! I would highly recommend it!
October 9, 2018
So much to think about and so easy to find yourself in this book!! Highly recommend!!!
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