What do you think?
Rate this book
Scary Old Sex
The acclaimed debut collection of short stories by practicing psychiatrist Arlene Heyman--a work of “bliss that lifts right off the page.” (Dwight Garner, NYT )
A woman goes about certain rituals of sex with her second husband, sharing the bed with the ghosts of her sexual past. A beautiful young art student embarks on an affair with a much older, married, famous artist. A middle-aged woman struggles with the decline of her mother, once glamorous and still commanding; their fraught relationship causes unexpected feelings, both shaming and brutal. A man finds that his father has died while in the midst of extra-marital sex and wonders what he should do with the body. And a boy sits in his Calculus class, fantasizing about a schoolmate's breasts and worrying about his father lying in hospital, as outside his classroom window the Twin Towers begin to fall.
In this stunning, taboo-breaking debut, Arlene Heyman, a practicing psychiatrist, gives us what really goes on in people's minds, relationships, and beds. Raw, tender, funny, truthful and often shocking, Scary Old Sex is a fierce exploration of the chaos and beauty of life.
A woman goes about certain rituals of sex with her second husband, sharing the bed with the ghosts of her sexual past. A beautiful young art student embarks on an affair with a much older, married, famous artist. A middle-aged woman struggles with the decline of her mother, once glamorous and still commanding; their fraught relationship causes unexpected feelings, both shaming and brutal. A man finds that his father has died while in the midst of extra-marital sex and wonders what he should do with the body. And a boy sits in his Calculus class, fantasizing about a schoolmate's breasts and worrying about his father lying in hospital, as outside his classroom window the Twin Towers begin to fall.
In this stunning, taboo-breaking debut, Arlene Heyman, a practicing psychiatrist, gives us what really goes on in people's minds, relationships, and beds. Raw, tender, funny, truthful and often shocking, Scary Old Sex is a fierce exploration of the chaos and beauty of life.
240 pages, Paperback
First published March 8, 2016
61 people are currently reading
1471 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 136 reviews
November 14, 2016
Update.... For those who have read this book (enjoyed it like I did: *lots*) -and those who didn't read it 'yet' perhaps?--- I was happy to notice that this book got a 'thumbs up'. It is considered one of the best books of the year. (I'm sure we will keep seeing many nominated lists) --but I liked this book!!
By the way---I've no idea what book will win the Pulitzer Prize this year.....but I have this feeling its a book I haven't even read 'yet'.
................
review below:
Anyone who plans to get old, or older, and is interested in 'sex' at all ... will enjoy this book.
These stories are great!
"Would you like to make love"?
"Couldn't he be even a little seductive, instead of asking for sex as if he were asking for a game of tennis"?
Spontaneity at age 65 and 70 with acid reflux and having to stay upright for two or three hours after a meal or else suffer burning chest pains, make things a little more challenging. Having to add a low-level estrogen tablets in a woman's vagina a couple times a week so that the tissues don't thin out can be another hassle to remember. Taking a viagra pill an hour before sex to prevent coming too soon if not making love often...( and once a week isn't often), doesn't make for spontaneous passion either.
Add any physical ailments such as arthritis, and.....
"making love was like running a war:
plans had to be drawn up, equipment in tiptop condition, troops deployed and
coordinated meticulously, there was no room for maverick actions lest the country end
up defeated and each other's throats....
"Yes, dear, that would be very nice, making love."
"Give me forty-five minutes, please."
This was just 'one' of the themes -in the collection of short stories. Each one is different... dealing with relationships, illness, loss, death, infidelity, extended family, secrets, love, hate, literature, the art scene, body image, intimacy, multitasking sex, raw sex, honest sex, vacation sex, handicap issues, 2nd -3rd- and 4th marriages, taboo situations, career influence, jealousy and comparison, etc.
There was a moving story on the day on 911 ...and another between a 60ish daughter and her 90ish mother. ( I related deeply to this story ... almost word for word when the two women were playing the card game of gin together). It's how I remember my own mother.
I laughed and I was moved. There are sad moments... but all these stories
allow us to become intimate with intimacy, and it's a privilege.....(with our most
private selves)
The writing is lovely as can be... you become one with the characters. The stories become hard to separate fiction from real life...it's the perfect blend of both.
Thank You Bloomsbury Publishing, Netgalley, and Arlene Heyman (just terrific)
By the way---I've no idea what book will win the Pulitzer Prize this year.....but I have this feeling its a book I haven't even read 'yet'.
................
review below:
Anyone who plans to get old, or older, and is interested in 'sex' at all ... will enjoy this book.
These stories are great!
"Would you like to make love"?
"Couldn't he be even a little seductive, instead of asking for sex as if he were asking for a game of tennis"?
Spontaneity at age 65 and 70 with acid reflux and having to stay upright for two or three hours after a meal or else suffer burning chest pains, make things a little more challenging. Having to add a low-level estrogen tablets in a woman's vagina a couple times a week so that the tissues don't thin out can be another hassle to remember. Taking a viagra pill an hour before sex to prevent coming too soon if not making love often...( and once a week isn't often), doesn't make for spontaneous passion either.
Add any physical ailments such as arthritis, and.....
"making love was like running a war:
plans had to be drawn up, equipment in tiptop condition, troops deployed and
coordinated meticulously, there was no room for maverick actions lest the country end
up defeated and each other's throats....
"Yes, dear, that would be very nice, making love."
"Give me forty-five minutes, please."
This was just 'one' of the themes -in the collection of short stories. Each one is different... dealing with relationships, illness, loss, death, infidelity, extended family, secrets, love, hate, literature, the art scene, body image, intimacy, multitasking sex, raw sex, honest sex, vacation sex, handicap issues, 2nd -3rd- and 4th marriages, taboo situations, career influence, jealousy and comparison, etc.
There was a moving story on the day on 911 ...and another between a 60ish daughter and her 90ish mother. ( I related deeply to this story ... almost word for word when the two women were playing the card game of gin together). It's how I remember my own mother.
I laughed and I was moved. There are sad moments... but all these stories
allow us to become intimate with intimacy, and it's a privilege.....(with our most
private selves)
The writing is lovely as can be... you become one with the characters. The stories become hard to separate fiction from real life...it's the perfect blend of both.
Thank You Bloomsbury Publishing, Netgalley, and Arlene Heyman (just terrific)
March 11, 2016
This is definitely the year I discover how good short stories can be. Scary Old Sex is another great collection. There are seven stories in the collection. They aren't scary or particularly sexy, but they are so, so human. They depict relationships in all of their intricate nuanced complications. There are older couples in second and third marriages, step parents, older men with younger women, couples with one person dying too young, difficult and confused teenagers, the aging children of elderly parents, and many other permutations of relationships. The focus is mostly on characters in their 50s and older, and they have complex emotions without being neurotic, and they have very real sex that they enjoy but that is not the stuff of fantasies. It took me a while to read this book because Heyman's storytelling is dense; the stories are packed with important details that I would have missed if I moved too swiftly. Highly recommended, even for readers who have mixed feelings about short stories. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for an opportunity to read an advance copy.
May 25, 2016
3.5 stars
Oh that icky title. I probably wouldn't have given this collection of seven short stories so much as a second glance without Esil's (yeah, and Elyse's too) endorsements, but I'm glad I braved it. As it turns out, the title is rather apt, as many of these stories revolve around the sexual wonts of the golden age set. It's scary to imagine our bodies falling apart into decrepitude but still possessing the sexual urge. Ms. Heyman does a fine job here (maybe not quite as flashily as, say, Alice Munro or Margaret Atwood, pros at capturing the geriatric experience in short story form) but most of the stories here shine, a few brighter than the others, which cohere and mesh together nicely. You don't have to be old (or Jewish, as many of the characters here are) to relate.
Oh that icky title. I probably wouldn't have given this collection of seven short stories so much as a second glance without Esil's (yeah, and Elyse's too) endorsements, but I'm glad I braved it. As it turns out, the title is rather apt, as many of these stories revolve around the sexual wonts of the golden age set. It's scary to imagine our bodies falling apart into decrepitude but still possessing the sexual urge. Ms. Heyman does a fine job here (maybe not quite as flashily as, say, Alice Munro or Margaret Atwood, pros at capturing the geriatric experience in short story form) but most of the stories here shine, a few brighter than the others, which cohere and mesh together nicely. You don't have to be old (or Jewish, as many of the characters here are) to relate.
February 17, 2018
I’ve read some truly excellent short story collections over the past few years but this, unfortunately, was not one of them. It was just okay for me. 2 stars
March 4, 2016
Scary Old Sex is neither all about sex nor is it erotica. It's a collection of seven short stories dealing with topics most of us probably try to avoid thinking about if we can: aging, sickness, death etc.
Some of it I could easily relate to, such as the way the relationship with a parent may change once the child turns caregiver to the parent.
Some of it was hilarious and had me in stitches, for example, the description of sex between an older couple which had lost its spontaneity for all sorts of reasons. So yes, there was some sex.
The most touching story was of a family battling the father's cancer diagnosis. I suggest having a box of tissues nearby for that one.
There was a lot of content in those seven short stories: affairs, sexual relationships between the more mature with the young, the way second and third and fourth marriages may affect children but also the parental relationship etc.
Put together by a practicing psychoanalyst, the stories are written in a very candid manner and some of it may be uncomfortable reading but they are incredibly insightful and thought provoking in the way they explore the human psyche intimately.
Great book for reading a chapter a day or so to let it all sink in.
Recommended to all readers because let's face it, this is stuff everybody will have to deal with at some stage.
I received a copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Bloomsbury Publishing and Arlene Heyman.
Some of it I could easily relate to, such as the way the relationship with a parent may change once the child turns caregiver to the parent.
Some of it was hilarious and had me in stitches, for example, the description of sex between an older couple which had lost its spontaneity for all sorts of reasons. So yes, there was some sex.
The most touching story was of a family battling the father's cancer diagnosis. I suggest having a box of tissues nearby for that one.
There was a lot of content in those seven short stories: affairs, sexual relationships between the more mature with the young, the way second and third and fourth marriages may affect children but also the parental relationship etc.
Put together by a practicing psychoanalyst, the stories are written in a very candid manner and some of it may be uncomfortable reading but they are incredibly insightful and thought provoking in the way they explore the human psyche intimately.
Great book for reading a chapter a day or so to let it all sink in.
Recommended to all readers because let's face it, this is stuff everybody will have to deal with at some stage.
I received a copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Bloomsbury Publishing and Arlene Heyman.
May 17, 2016
3.5 Not all of the stories in this collection are about oldies going at it but the best ones most definitely are. It's an uneven collection (as so many are) but some of the early stories (The Loves of her Life, In Love with Murray, At the Happy Isles) are truly excellent. The final two stories were my least favourite and it was a shame to end with them because I loved the earlier ones. Heyman is certainly trying to be provocative here about sex, ageing and caring for the elderly and she's successful.
March 20, 2016
You have to wonder who's idea it was to give this debut collection of short stories a title that will titillate some and put other readers off. If I hadn't read the review in the New York Times it's doubtful I would have given SCARY OLD SEX a second thought.
Thank goodness I did because Arlene Heyman is a nimble writer with the ability to highlight the joys and agony of aging while hitting the mark with her younger characters. Her stories feature families and individuals struggling with illness, waning love, aging parents and unexpected death. In my favorite, "Dancing," a tight-knit family of three is devastated by the father's advanced cancer in the midst of 9/11. In "Night Call," an unsuspecting adult son gets a call that will forever change the way he views his enigmatic father, a beloved doctor.
The last two stories in the collection were my least favorite. There's a sense of anger in each one's female character that didn't play out or resolve to my satisfaction. Still, I'm delighted by the news that Heyman is working on a novel.
Recommended especially for readers who enjoy Nora Ephron and Diana Athill.
Thank goodness I did because Arlene Heyman is a nimble writer with the ability to highlight the joys and agony of aging while hitting the mark with her younger characters. Her stories feature families and individuals struggling with illness, waning love, aging parents and unexpected death. In my favorite, "Dancing," a tight-knit family of three is devastated by the father's advanced cancer in the midst of 9/11. In "Night Call," an unsuspecting adult son gets a call that will forever change the way he views his enigmatic father, a beloved doctor.
The last two stories in the collection were my least favorite. There's a sense of anger in each one's female character that didn't play out or resolve to my satisfaction. Still, I'm delighted by the news that Heyman is working on a novel.
Recommended especially for readers who enjoy Nora Ephron and Diana Athill.
March 4, 2018
2.0 STARS
Thud … the scream of the incoming munition is terrifying but mesmerizing at the same time. Awestruck by its projection of power and human ingenuity, it is difficult to move away despite the lethal threat of the device. Dud … the thud of its landing sans the release of the murderous payload; nothing but silence that lingers far too long. Impotent. Futile. Ineffective … in the end, nothing!
This is my analogy of my latest adventure into the world of short stories. My experiences over the years with short stories have been tumultuous at best, devilishly vexing at worst, and this collection was no different. The book title and cover are seductive, the promised exploration of sexuality and aging during the later years of life is intriguing if not mildly titillating but in the end, so unsatisfying.
Each story opens a robust and powerful conversation about aging and dying; relationships past and present; affairs and fantasies; with sexual experiences sprinkled into the conversation. Told through the voices of women and wives, their perspectives are fascinating and artful albeit often from a clinical point of view, much a like a psychologist or clinician might describe a sexual encounter during a research project. Thud
Each story closes with … nothing, a dead-end! For me, each story’s strong opening and weak closing fueled my frustration and displeasure with this collection. Dud
Others love this collection and the overall 3.57 star rating indicates my opinion is in the minority. It can be a quick read albeit with fairly dense sentence structure, so give it a whirl and experience it for yourself.
Thud … the scream of the incoming munition is terrifying but mesmerizing at the same time. Awestruck by its projection of power and human ingenuity, it is difficult to move away despite the lethal threat of the device. Dud … the thud of its landing sans the release of the murderous payload; nothing but silence that lingers far too long. Impotent. Futile. Ineffective … in the end, nothing!
This is my analogy of my latest adventure into the world of short stories. My experiences over the years with short stories have been tumultuous at best, devilishly vexing at worst, and this collection was no different. The book title and cover are seductive, the promised exploration of sexuality and aging during the later years of life is intriguing if not mildly titillating but in the end, so unsatisfying.
Each story opens a robust and powerful conversation about aging and dying; relationships past and present; affairs and fantasies; with sexual experiences sprinkled into the conversation. Told through the voices of women and wives, their perspectives are fascinating and artful albeit often from a clinical point of view, much a like a psychologist or clinician might describe a sexual encounter during a research project. Thud
Each story closes with … nothing, a dead-end! For me, each story’s strong opening and weak closing fueled my frustration and displeasure with this collection. Dud
Others love this collection and the overall 3.57 star rating indicates my opinion is in the minority. It can be a quick read albeit with fairly dense sentence structure, so give it a whirl and experience it for yourself.
March 16, 2016
The title alone should've been a warning. Scary Old Sex. Now the premise showed promise. Various stories dealing with the subject of sex among the senior set and proving that even people of a certain age still enjoy intimate connections even into their golden years. I was expecting something moving, hopefully on thought provoking themes on the subject but instead I'm left with some subversive claptrap of sexual parodies that left a bad taste in my mouth. (And I don't mean that literally.)
I first came across this book when our store received a shipment in and my coworkers began snickering at the explicit content contained in the book. Being someone who has read just about every kind of erotica piece, nothing shocks me but I've come to realize the difference between good erotica and bad erotica. This here definitely goes within the bad erotica pile. Now I'm not speaking in terms of the fact that the central characters in each story are within the senior set. Believe it or not, old people still have sex. Yes, people, reality check! Old people still have sex! What a shocker! Give it up to them for still allowing themselves to be randy even in their later years.
Going back to what I was saying, the concept displayed promise and I decided to give it a shot. Sadly, it failed on so many levels. This wasn't really a book about the elderly discovering their sexual awakenings and freedoms but a mishmash of taboo sex, cougar behavior, perverse kink, karmic infidelities, and even a masturbation story tied in with 9/11. On top of that it even hints at some gerophilia (attraction to much older partners). I suppose all of this is to frighten the readers into believing that old people should never have sex. It's just plain disgusting. Well, it worked. Moral of the story: If you're old, forget the Viagra. Don't have sex period. (Sorry Blanche Deveraux.)
If author Arlene Heyman wanted to make senior sex such a horrific experience, she definitely succeeded. The book is neither titillating or raises any positive message about sex for our retired individuals. In short, it's completely flaccid, impotent, and boring. Once again, the lesson here is that old people should never have sex.
Got that Blanche Deveraux? No sex for you!
I first came across this book when our store received a shipment in and my coworkers began snickering at the explicit content contained in the book. Being someone who has read just about every kind of erotica piece, nothing shocks me but I've come to realize the difference between good erotica and bad erotica. This here definitely goes within the bad erotica pile. Now I'm not speaking in terms of the fact that the central characters in each story are within the senior set. Believe it or not, old people still have sex. Yes, people, reality check! Old people still have sex! What a shocker! Give it up to them for still allowing themselves to be randy even in their later years.
Going back to what I was saying, the concept displayed promise and I decided to give it a shot. Sadly, it failed on so many levels. This wasn't really a book about the elderly discovering their sexual awakenings and freedoms but a mishmash of taboo sex, cougar behavior, perverse kink, karmic infidelities, and even a masturbation story tied in with 9/11. On top of that it even hints at some gerophilia (attraction to much older partners). I suppose all of this is to frighten the readers into believing that old people should never have sex. It's just plain disgusting. Well, it worked. Moral of the story: If you're old, forget the Viagra. Don't have sex period. (Sorry Blanche Deveraux.)
If author Arlene Heyman wanted to make senior sex such a horrific experience, she definitely succeeded. The book is neither titillating or raises any positive message about sex for our retired individuals. In short, it's completely flaccid, impotent, and boring. Once again, the lesson here is that old people should never have sex.
Got that Blanche Deveraux? No sex for you!
December 8, 2015
Scary Old Sex by Arlene Heyman
Scary Old Sex, a debut collection of short stories, was written and rewritten over a period of thirty years. In her youth, Arlene Heyman had been a promising young writer, studying with Bernard Malamud at Bennington College and earning an M.A. from the prestigious Syracuse University program. But her life changed course and she entered medical school, writing only in quiet moments between her full-time work as a psychiatrist and raising her family. Now, after decades of writing for her own pleasure, these mature and accomplished stories will be published to wide acclaim.
In this taboo-breaking debut, Heyman, a practicing psychiatrist, gives us what really goes on in people's minds and relationships--those things unspoken in much of society, about sex between older people, or about sex and love when one person is very ill, or when the age difference makes the relationship practically illegal. Love and sex in these stories are seen, sometimes, through the wide-open eyes of women, with women often in dominant roles in relationships. A few of the stories are raw, many are unsettling, but all are insightful and at times humorous, looking behind the curtain at the intimacies we usually keep to ourselves.
Not intended to be titillating, Heyman's stories give us the lives we all live: the real, the sloppy, the human.
My Review:
Scary Old Sex should be read by everyone. I'd love to add this book to my collection at home because I'd buy a stack and give it to so many people. Scary Old Sex is an honest exploration into the reality of getting older and how aging affects men and women's sexual and intimate relationships as they age. Its a brilliant way of showing the emotional and mental affects the change that men, women and couples ago through as their bodies morph from the teen and adult selves to the persons that take over their youthful hearts and minds as the true face of sex comes rolling in to introduce itself. Its not beautiful, its not flawless or always passionate. Its clumsy, its a thing to work into your schedule its something that affects many people on a fundamental level. Heyman doesn't sugar coat the truth in her various stories and I really respected that the further I read. Scary Old Sex is a beautiful book I enjoyed and found quite a bit of joy and sadness and just a tid bit of trepidation with. A fantastic read.
My Rating:
5 Stars
Reviewed By: Krissy's Bookshelf Reviews
http://kkmalott.booklikes.com/
Note: I received a digital copy in exchange for an honest review
Scary Old Sex, a debut collection of short stories, was written and rewritten over a period of thirty years. In her youth, Arlene Heyman had been a promising young writer, studying with Bernard Malamud at Bennington College and earning an M.A. from the prestigious Syracuse University program. But her life changed course and she entered medical school, writing only in quiet moments between her full-time work as a psychiatrist and raising her family. Now, after decades of writing for her own pleasure, these mature and accomplished stories will be published to wide acclaim.
In this taboo-breaking debut, Heyman, a practicing psychiatrist, gives us what really goes on in people's minds and relationships--those things unspoken in much of society, about sex between older people, or about sex and love when one person is very ill, or when the age difference makes the relationship practically illegal. Love and sex in these stories are seen, sometimes, through the wide-open eyes of women, with women often in dominant roles in relationships. A few of the stories are raw, many are unsettling, but all are insightful and at times humorous, looking behind the curtain at the intimacies we usually keep to ourselves.
Not intended to be titillating, Heyman's stories give us the lives we all live: the real, the sloppy, the human.
My Review:
Scary Old Sex should be read by everyone. I'd love to add this book to my collection at home because I'd buy a stack and give it to so many people. Scary Old Sex is an honest exploration into the reality of getting older and how aging affects men and women's sexual and intimate relationships as they age. Its a brilliant way of showing the emotional and mental affects the change that men, women and couples ago through as their bodies morph from the teen and adult selves to the persons that take over their youthful hearts and minds as the true face of sex comes rolling in to introduce itself. Its not beautiful, its not flawless or always passionate. Its clumsy, its a thing to work into your schedule its something that affects many people on a fundamental level. Heyman doesn't sugar coat the truth in her various stories and I really respected that the further I read. Scary Old Sex is a beautiful book I enjoyed and found quite a bit of joy and sadness and just a tid bit of trepidation with. A fantastic read.
My Rating:
5 Stars
Reviewed By: Krissy's Bookshelf Reviews
http://kkmalott.booklikes.com/
Note: I received a digital copy in exchange for an honest review
January 4, 2016
This was an interesting collection of 7 short stories about love, marriage, sex, aging, etc. Full review to come soon.
February 19, 2016
Scary Old Sex by Arlene Heyman is neither scary or sexy; but what it is can only be described as a voyeuristic glimpse into the inner emotions and struggles of the human psyche. At times a beautiful mesmerizing portrait, others the bloody and chaotic wreck on the side of an abandoned highway.
Scary Old Sex is a collection of seven short stories that spread the topics of aging, relationships, and intimacy among family, friends and lovers. This is not erotica, not in the traditional sense, but it incredibly intimate.
"...Ann, listen to me. With or without a transfusion he's going to die in the next few days. His blood is full of leukemic cells. I can't clear them anymore.'
'You're going to just leave him like that?'
'Ann, you're in denial.'
'What? What are you talking about?'
'He's going to die, Ann. Any day now.'
She hangs up on him. She feels stunned and queasy, as if Dr. Mears has stopped being Matt's doctor, as if he has just whispered some drunken obscene suggestion in her ear..."
Intense and personal. Scary Old Sex is about people and the ravages of age, not only on their bodies but on their hearts and souls. The difficulty of maintaining a sex life as you age, the horror of disease as it steals the desire and beauty of a loved one. A son's grief and pain when he finds his aged father has passed away, in the arms of a younger woman.
These stories are moments in the lives of characters that as you read, become incredibly real. You feel their hurt and their loss and it becomes a part of you that is unshakable. You will find horror among these pages that will rival any monster, and love so powerful it can withstand any cruelty. But more so you will find the simple act of living, when the portent of death hangs so close in the wings.
Scary Old Sex is a beautiful book with a thoughtfulness that will surprise many of its readers. It is quite simply the act of someone baring their soul for us to enjoy as a very good read.
Scary Old Sex is a collection of seven short stories that spread the topics of aging, relationships, and intimacy among family, friends and lovers. This is not erotica, not in the traditional sense, but it incredibly intimate.
"...Ann, listen to me. With or without a transfusion he's going to die in the next few days. His blood is full of leukemic cells. I can't clear them anymore.'
'You're going to just leave him like that?'
'Ann, you're in denial.'
'What? What are you talking about?'
'He's going to die, Ann. Any day now.'
She hangs up on him. She feels stunned and queasy, as if Dr. Mears has stopped being Matt's doctor, as if he has just whispered some drunken obscene suggestion in her ear..."
Intense and personal. Scary Old Sex is about people and the ravages of age, not only on their bodies but on their hearts and souls. The difficulty of maintaining a sex life as you age, the horror of disease as it steals the desire and beauty of a loved one. A son's grief and pain when he finds his aged father has passed away, in the arms of a younger woman.
These stories are moments in the lives of characters that as you read, become incredibly real. You feel their hurt and their loss and it becomes a part of you that is unshakable. You will find horror among these pages that will rival any monster, and love so powerful it can withstand any cruelty. But more so you will find the simple act of living, when the portent of death hangs so close in the wings.
Scary Old Sex is a beautiful book with a thoughtfulness that will surprise many of its readers. It is quite simply the act of someone baring their soul for us to enjoy as a very good read.
March 18, 2016
This was really a quick read for me, and I'm sorry it's over. Although the stories are refreshingly honest about sex, not all of them are really "about" sex. However, all of them treat real-life issues related to aging bodies with artful humor. A long story about a man dying of leukemia that shifts point of view (attached third person) between the son and the wife is especially strong. It had me staying up way past my bedtime to finish it.
August 3, 2016
ugh. The first story was creepy and after that they were just mini-portraits of not very interesting people.
February 20, 2017
An amazing piece of writing. Arlene Heyman is everything I aspire to be as a writer
June 26, 2019
There’s so much potential here. When I first held this book in my hands, I felt like I was in for something special: the debut collection from a practicing psychiatrist, promising to take us by the hand, like some sort of deviant Willy Wonka, and show us a chocolate factory where the Chocolate River is actually shit, and the Oompa Loompas are sodomizing each other under a giant mushroom.
The first three stories knocked my socks off. Then, as I read further, I began to see the same tropes pop up time and time again (e.g., middle aged woman protagonist on her second or third marriage; career as a medical doctor or academic; chronic illness). These are all themes worth exploring, but when they are repeatedly rolled out across many stories in the same collection, one begins to lose touch with the message the author is trying to convey. When each protagonist is just a different version of the last, and the one that comes after, emotional resonance with each story becomes challenging.
Scary Old Sex certainly has lots of merit. It’s a book best enjoyed by people with a sick sense of humor. I read a lot of blurbs about the collection, trying to gauge critical reaction. The Buffalo News said of Scary Old Sex: “Witty, layered, and often profound...Heyman’s stories...are not only unforgettable but sophisticated, and edgy.” My god, I hate shit that reads like this. I cannot honestly believe a professional writer can read the following passage and use “sophisticated” as a way to describe the book:
“His penis looked like a small round neck with an eyeless face barely peeking out above his pouchlike scrotum.”
It might be best to ignore the critical reaction for Scary Old Sex. Was it worth my time? For sure. It’s impossible to qualify this book as a “must read” simply because I am eternally irritated by critics that heap praise at something for being provocative in a DIFFERENT kind of way. The old king is dead, long live the king. That sort of thing.
The first three stories knocked my socks off. Then, as I read further, I began to see the same tropes pop up time and time again (e.g., middle aged woman protagonist on her second or third marriage; career as a medical doctor or academic; chronic illness). These are all themes worth exploring, but when they are repeatedly rolled out across many stories in the same collection, one begins to lose touch with the message the author is trying to convey. When each protagonist is just a different version of the last, and the one that comes after, emotional resonance with each story becomes challenging.
Scary Old Sex certainly has lots of merit. It’s a book best enjoyed by people with a sick sense of humor. I read a lot of blurbs about the collection, trying to gauge critical reaction. The Buffalo News said of Scary Old Sex: “Witty, layered, and often profound...Heyman’s stories...are not only unforgettable but sophisticated, and edgy.” My god, I hate shit that reads like this. I cannot honestly believe a professional writer can read the following passage and use “sophisticated” as a way to describe the book:
“His penis looked like a small round neck with an eyeless face barely peeking out above his pouchlike scrotum.”
It might be best to ignore the critical reaction for Scary Old Sex. Was it worth my time? For sure. It’s impossible to qualify this book as a “must read” simply because I am eternally irritated by critics that heap praise at something for being provocative in a DIFFERENT kind of way. The old king is dead, long live the king. That sort of thing.
May 18, 2016
Extremely honest and unsettling modern fiction. In fact it was a little too much for me in places.
If you like to read about smart people getting older and having problems and arguments and sex without love or love without sex, this is for you.
If you like to read about smart people getting older and having problems and arguments and sex without love or love without sex, this is for you.
June 12, 2016
Short stories about relationships. Each story is a masterpiece in its own right. A couple of the stories are sexually explicit (and yes, mature aged sex can be scary) but the others are insightful in different ways. The title of the volume is a bit off-putting however.
November 14, 2016
Don't discount or be turned off by the title of this collection of short stories as very few of the stories have to do with sex. A couple early stories address sexual intimacy between elderly couples and the remainder of the stories are introspections of marriage.
September 11, 2015
I want to discuss this book with everyone I know.
May 28, 2016
Interesting and engaging short stories about people dealing with death, loved ones dying, middle aged sex, affairs, caring for aged parents, struggles of marriage and second marriages, etc., written by the talented author Arelne Heyman. I received the novel free from a Goodreads Giveaway.
The short story "The Loves of Her Life" begins with the husband, Stu, asking his wife, Marianne, "Would you like to make love?" Marianne starts thinking about how she used to make love to her first husband three or four times a week and now things are so different. Marianne is 65, has acid reflux and has to stay upright for two or three hours after eating, and uses low-level estrogen tablets twice a week. Her husband, Stu, is 70 and has to take medicine.
My favorite of the short stories is "Dancing" about the love of a family and care of a member of the family who is dying. The son is at school and sees the Twin Towers attack and rushes to be with his parents so his mom won't needlessly worry about him. The mom, Ann, is taking care of her husband, Matt, who is dying and stays with him to care for him and is there at the end.
The funniest scene is from the short story, "Nothing Human." Her husband comes out of the bathroom in the middle of the night and she calls out, "Dear, did you wash your hands?" He responds, "I never wash my hands in the middle of the night." She says, "You don't, why not?" The husband replies, "I don't want to wake myself up." She then goes to the bathroom and comes out to hear her husband snoring, "For God's sake, put on your CPAP machine!"
Read the must read, well-written short stories about life as it really is.
The short story "The Loves of Her Life" begins with the husband, Stu, asking his wife, Marianne, "Would you like to make love?" Marianne starts thinking about how she used to make love to her first husband three or four times a week and now things are so different. Marianne is 65, has acid reflux and has to stay upright for two or three hours after eating, and uses low-level estrogen tablets twice a week. Her husband, Stu, is 70 and has to take medicine.
My favorite of the short stories is "Dancing" about the love of a family and care of a member of the family who is dying. The son is at school and sees the Twin Towers attack and rushes to be with his parents so his mom won't needlessly worry about him. The mom, Ann, is taking care of her husband, Matt, who is dying and stays with him to care for him and is there at the end.
The funniest scene is from the short story, "Nothing Human." Her husband comes out of the bathroom in the middle of the night and she calls out, "Dear, did you wash your hands?" He responds, "I never wash my hands in the middle of the night." She says, "You don't, why not?" The husband replies, "I don't want to wake myself up." She then goes to the bathroom and comes out to hear her husband snoring, "For God's sake, put on your CPAP machine!"
Read the must read, well-written short stories about life as it really is.
June 28, 2016
Just because we age, sicken, and are destined to die, it doesn't mean we want to give up the passions and pleasures of love and sex. This debut collection of short stories examines this idea. The book is framed at the beginning and the end by two stories with similar premises: senior women on second marriages who look back on lives of joys and disappointments and hope that the former will outnumber the latter in their remaining years. In between those stories are several characters in medical positions (the author is a psychiatrist), infidelities, cancer, an afternoon at an assisted-living home, and a woman struggling to connect with her teenaged step-daughter. Most of the main characters are middle-aged or older. All but one story has some sex, although the sex isn't erotic as much as it is intimate. For the most part, these are characters who are old enough to know that life is messy, but who refuse to accept the inevitable messes without fighting back or seeking some sort of comfort.
Heyman's writing style is simple and direct, but powerful and honest. The stories have a somewhat melancholic or wistful tone, but are rarely depressing or sad (even though there a a few deaths). Resigned might be a good way to describe them. The best may not be yet to come, but we should still keep trying to find it.
Heyman's writing style is simple and direct, but powerful and honest. The stories have a somewhat melancholic or wistful tone, but are rarely depressing or sad (even though there a a few deaths). Resigned might be a good way to describe them. The best may not be yet to come, but we should still keep trying to find it.
August 15, 2016
In her first book, Heyman offers seven short stories about older people coming to terms with physical imperfection, aging, loss, and love regarding their own desires. Stories involving lurid rendezvouses, longing memories of past loves, and romantic regrets paint a portrait of intimacy that may be shocking to younger readers, but offers a glimpse into the realities of the challenges and needs for men and women in their 60s, 70s, and 80s. Narratives include a 60-something year old woman visiting her 98-year old mother in a nursing home, an older married artist who has an affair with a much younger muse, a man hospitalized with leukemia and unable to embrace his wife due to his immunosuppression, and a young man who learns firsthand of his father’s infidelity when he dies in the arms of his caretaker and mistress.
Heyman is a renowned psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who is now writing fiction. I heard the author interview with Terry Gross on "Fresh Air" a few months ago and I thought the author had a great energy. The stories can be dry at times, but special attention is paid to emotional nuance. Despite the lurid cover and title, not all of the stories are sexual in nature. However, they are portraits of the human condition and our need to be loved.
Heyman is a renowned psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who is now writing fiction. I heard the author interview with Terry Gross on "Fresh Air" a few months ago and I thought the author had a great energy. The stories can be dry at times, but special attention is paid to emotional nuance. Despite the lurid cover and title, not all of the stories are sexual in nature. However, they are portraits of the human condition and our need to be loved.
February 10, 2016
Lately I've been trying to read more short stories, so when I saw this collection on NetGalley I requested it right away. Overall I found this book hard to rate, because some stories were amazing and I was fully engaged. Some of the stories though were not, they dragged on, or just had uninteresting characters. I suppose this is something that can happen with stories, they can be varied.
Scary Old Sex is a pretty interesting collection and what I liked best of all was the fact that the stories made sex normal. If you're looking for a book of erotic stories, this isn't for you. While the sex is detailed (though not super graphic) it's usually only in brief scenes. I honestly don't have very much else to say about this book. It wasn't fantastic, but it wasn't a bad collection. The stories and characters were mediocre. The point of the collection was a good one. I gave this book three stars on Goodreads.
I was given a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair review.
Scary Old Sex is a pretty interesting collection and what I liked best of all was the fact that the stories made sex normal. If you're looking for a book of erotic stories, this isn't for you. While the sex is detailed (though not super graphic) it's usually only in brief scenes. I honestly don't have very much else to say about this book. It wasn't fantastic, but it wasn't a bad collection. The stories and characters were mediocre. The point of the collection was a good one. I gave this book three stars on Goodreads.
I was given a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair review.
February 7, 2017
Great title! This is a well-written collection of short stories about people past middle age. The characters are interesting and complex as they interact with the young and old people around them. I find it rare that authors are this honest about experiences of grief, loss, sexual longing, fantasy and satisfaction for people 50+ years old. Heyman breaks through without being maudlin or pornographic.
September 28, 2016
Fantastic collection of short stories! I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed all of them even as they pushed me out of my comfort zone. Highly recommended but not for people who are squeamish about talking/reading about direct issues related to illness and health problems, sex (duh), and using animals for research. Best collection of short stories I've read in a long, long time.
May 29, 2016
Meh. I heard an interview with Ms. Heyman on NPR and thought this collection of short stories sounded like they could cast some light on the process of growing older as a real person. But the characters were all quite unpleasant, not in a revealing way, and the stories were kind of dull. Oh well.
September 27, 2016
Short stories, some unsettling. Gives you a raw, unembarassed look into people's real sex lives. Sex and relationships of the very old, or a couple when one is dying, or a father who dies at a mistress's house. Good.
July 29, 2016
More scary than sex. Aging is certainly not for sissies!
September 11, 2016
Honest narrator
Brings to life poignant and moving events in narrators life that are very relatable. Engagingly written and a compelling read.
Brings to life poignant and moving events in narrators life that are very relatable. Engagingly written and a compelling read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 136 reviews