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The Engagement Game: Why I Said "I Don't" to Marriage and "I Do" to Me
Joi-Marie almost has it all; a thriving career, a supportive family, great friends, and an apartment in Manhattan. What she doesn't have is a husband.
Ambitious, confident, and successful, Joi-Marie believes she has it all figured out. At 28 years old, she has an enviable job as a producer, covering entertainment in New York City. Her close-knit family is loving and encouraging, and her boyfriend, Adam, is as close to perfect as you can get -- except for the fact that he won't propose.
Like most women, Joi-Marie has a checklist of what the perfect life looks like. She has the career, the friends, the apartment, and the lifestyle she has always wanted. But, when the husband she wants doesn't fall into place, she decides to play the game-theengagement game-in order to get Adam to drop down on one knee.
After receiving a laundry list of advice on how to secure a proposal -- even researching how to cook "engagement chicken" -- Joi-Marie realizes that, in the process of trying to attain her perfect life, she has slowly become a person she doesn't recognize. With this discovery, she must make a pretend to be someone she's not in order to have the life she envisioned. . .or have the courage to be herself and find her happily ever after in a way she never expected.
Ambitious, confident, and successful, Joi-Marie believes she has it all figured out. At 28 years old, she has an enviable job as a producer, covering entertainment in New York City. Her close-knit family is loving and encouraging, and her boyfriend, Adam, is as close to perfect as you can get -- except for the fact that he won't propose.
Like most women, Joi-Marie has a checklist of what the perfect life looks like. She has the career, the friends, the apartment, and the lifestyle she has always wanted. But, when the husband she wants doesn't fall into place, she decides to play the game-theengagement game-in order to get Adam to drop down on one knee.
After receiving a laundry list of advice on how to secure a proposal -- even researching how to cook "engagement chicken" -- Joi-Marie realizes that, in the process of trying to attain her perfect life, she has slowly become a person she doesn't recognize. With this discovery, she must make a pretend to be someone she's not in order to have the life she envisioned. . .or have the courage to be herself and find her happily ever after in a way she never expected.
304 pages, Hardcover
Published March 21, 2017
11 people are currently reading
481 people want to read
About the author
Joi-Marie McKenzie
1 book32 followersJoi-Marie McKenzie is an entertainment and lifestyle writer for ABC News.
She is also the author of The Engagement Game, set to be published by Hachette Book Group on March 21, 2017. McKenzie scored her book deal by happenstance — after sending 20 pages of her memoir to an editor for feedback that editor turned around and offered her a deal.
McKenzie is also the creator of The Fab Empire, an award-winning website that covers society, celebrities and local events in various cities around the U.S.
Previously, she has freelanced for publications including The Afro American Newspaper, Clutch Magazine, NBC New York and NBC Washington.
She is also the author of The Engagement Game, set to be published by Hachette Book Group on March 21, 2017. McKenzie scored her book deal by happenstance — after sending 20 pages of her memoir to an editor for feedback that editor turned around and offered her a deal.
McKenzie is also the creator of The Fab Empire, an award-winning website that covers society, celebrities and local events in various cities around the U.S.
Previously, she has freelanced for publications including The Afro American Newspaper, Clutch Magazine, NBC New York and NBC Washington.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
August 10, 2017
This is actually a 3.5 for me. Although this book is called the engagement game, it's a story both singles and married women can relate to. I was invested in the author's journey of self discovery. There were moments where I wanted to shake her and others where I wanted to give her a high five but I always appreciated her authenticity. I'm definitely interested in reading more from this author.
May 8, 2018
I read this book about 8 months ago and it was a page turner! Guilty: I thought it was a self help by the title of how to deal with this stage of dating and wanting a rock on my finger and wanting to make single boss moves all at the same time. Lol HOWEVER, this novel explores romantic relationships, friendships, family and loving yourself first. The authors name is also the main characters name so the connection feels closer and makes you wonder “hmm.. so how much of this factual?” I followed her on IG and now I feel like I know her even more than I did when I was reading the book. I can put a face to the book movie that was playing in my head throughout this read. Just read it.
September 13, 2017
This book was great. Quick read because it dealt with real life relationship issues and hearing the author speak last week it felt like a connection.Highly recommend this book to anyone that is single or dating.
April 6, 2017
I always enjoy stumbling on a book that that is a "coming of age" of sorts for someone like me (in my 30s). The Engagement Game brought back some old memories that reminded me of how wisdom and maturity are such a blessing and of how nonexistent my tolerance for foolishness in relationship is now compared to when I was in my 20s. There were a few stories I could simply swap out the names for guys I had dealt with, especially the Adam character. That whole part in the story about getting a sign and Joi looked up at the Glad wrap in her kitchen...same thing happened to me only I got a clear NOPE and I couldn't even argue with God about it.
April 5, 2017
"The Engagement Game" is a laugh-out-loud funny memoir about the pitfalls of dating as an upwardly-mobile professional Black woman. While there are some flaws, mainly reserving the wisdom until the very end, Joi-Marie McKenzie adds a real perspective to an issue that's circulated through national news since 2009.
February 27, 2017
This is a Goodreads win review. This is a cute book about a woman who has everything she needs in life except her boyfriend will not propose. So she goes with a bunch of things that she thinks will make him ask her. But along the way she finds out her perfect life she sees may not include him and she can be very happy in just herself.
August 24, 2017
Although I’m not single, I don’t think you have to be to enjoy Joi-Marie’s new book The Engagement Game . This is a memoir about a girl who has it all, great job, friends and family by her side and success. She’s just missing one thing, someone to share it all with! Joi-Marie has a long term boyfriend, and with each day that passes she keeps thinking today is the day he’ll propose, but that day never comes. Does she continue to hold on to something that won’t end in marriage or move on, but start from square one. Everyone is giving her advice on what she should do, including playing “ The Engagement Game”. She follows the steps of what she should do to get her boyfriend to propose, but ultimately the relationship ends. She must start over, and rediscover who she is and what she really wants. There is a lot of self discovery and Joi-Marie realizing she needs to create her own happiness, and not rely on a man to give that to her. I think there is so many girls who can relate to this book, about what it’s like being in your 20’s and dating. I really enjoyed reading Joi-Marie’s story, and appreciated her honesty and opening up and letting herself be vulnerable. The book was both entertaining and heartwarming. I found myself really rooting for her on every date she went on, and would love to know what her status is now!
September 5, 2017
Joi-Marie McKenzie’s debut effort is glamorous, well-paced, and just plain fun. But the attribute that most endears this page turner to me is its honesty. McKenzie steps outside of all of the unspoken social contracts that we sign with every new Facebook status update to say all of the things that single professional women are never supposed to and her book is better for it. My full review can be found at http://www.thecletter.com/single-post... .
April 10, 2017
I received an ARC from the publisher.
There is a niche audience for The Engagement Game, and unfortunately it wasn't me. Based on the flap copy, one might assume that anyone that has been married for some time (like myself) isn't the right audience, but that wasn't the reason I didn't connect with the book. I think it would most appeal to the 25-35 female audience who enjoys a more casual, stream-of-consciousness style of writing. I was invested in the author's story, why her relationship with her long-term boyfriend didn't work, and how she would emerge on the other side. However the more interesting and important parts of her story got lost in dialogue and details of daily life that could've been edited out. I finished, but I found myself skimming through most of the last third because I was getting bogged down in the excess.
There is a niche audience for The Engagement Game, and unfortunately it wasn't me. Based on the flap copy, one might assume that anyone that has been married for some time (like myself) isn't the right audience, but that wasn't the reason I didn't connect with the book. I think it would most appeal to the 25-35 female audience who enjoys a more casual, stream-of-consciousness style of writing. I was invested in the author's story, why her relationship with her long-term boyfriend didn't work, and how she would emerge on the other side. However the more interesting and important parts of her story got lost in dialogue and details of daily life that could've been edited out. I finished, but I found myself skimming through most of the last third because I was getting bogged down in the excess.
July 16, 2017
Joi-Marie's story is a personal, powerful and poignant tale of love loss and lessons learned. She reminds us that so much of what we experience as twenty-somethings is the journey to becoming self-aware, self-possessed and self-confident. Not only is her story a story for young women searching for love, but it's a story for men about the other side of the dating journey.
April 4, 2018
Following Instagram's #blackwriters led me to this book by Joe-Marie McKenzie. The cover itself was enough to make (shallow) me hit the 'one-click' feature on Amazon to purchase the hardback book.
When I finally settled down and read the first couple paragraphs of The Engagement Game, I was worried I'd made a poor literary choice. At age 48, married more than 20 years, with two kids (a dog and a cat), I felt very much as though I was too old, too married, and way too out-of-touch with cultural references to appreciate the story. I'd need to keep my smartphone handy to google my way through it. But I kept reading ... and when I came upon a tiny little side note within a chapter about a Spike Lee interview, I H-O-W-L-E-D with laughter. And, I was hooked.
The Engagement Game falls into two categories -- memoir and relationships. Sure, that's accurate ... I enjoyed reminiscing with Joe-Marie about her work*, her friendships, her New York lifestyle, and her dog. The relationships category? Admittedly, I struggled. And critiqued. And clucked my tongue. And, after reading one passage reached out to the author via Instagram to SCREAM TYPE: WAIT, HE DID WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
As a busy mom raising two boys, I wanted the escape of romance and happily ever after. But my schedule didn't allow for a read-in-one-sitting, and it took time to finish. And guess what: The author takes her time -- sharing (some of) her vulnerability, her self reflections, and her conversations with God. She was in NO rush to get to the end ... and that's a good thing
Is this a good read for All the Single Ladies? Sure. But, it's a good read for ANYONE, regardless of relationship status.
Well-written, carefully edited, and unflinchingly honest -- it's a good read.
*The author's work seems like it should be exciting, but without complaining (beyond the early start time of it) she manages to use work life mentions only if they're germane to the story. A celebrity gossip roman-a-clef, this is not.
When I finally settled down and read the first couple paragraphs of The Engagement Game, I was worried I'd made a poor literary choice. At age 48, married more than 20 years, with two kids (a dog and a cat), I felt very much as though I was too old, too married, and way too out-of-touch with cultural references to appreciate the story. I'd need to keep my smartphone handy to google my way through it. But I kept reading ... and when I came upon a tiny little side note within a chapter about a Spike Lee interview, I H-O-W-L-E-D with laughter. And, I was hooked.
The Engagement Game falls into two categories -- memoir and relationships. Sure, that's accurate ... I enjoyed reminiscing with Joe-Marie about her work*, her friendships, her New York lifestyle, and her dog. The relationships category? Admittedly, I struggled. And critiqued. And clucked my tongue. And, after reading one passage reached out to the author via Instagram to SCREAM TYPE: WAIT, HE DID WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
As a busy mom raising two boys, I wanted the escape of romance and happily ever after. But my schedule didn't allow for a read-in-one-sitting, and it took time to finish. And guess what: The author takes her time -- sharing (some of) her vulnerability, her self reflections, and her conversations with God. She was in NO rush to get to the end ... and that's a good thing
Is this a good read for All the Single Ladies? Sure. But, it's a good read for ANYONE, regardless of relationship status.
Well-written, carefully edited, and unflinchingly honest -- it's a good read.
*The author's work seems like it should be exciting, but without complaining (beyond the early start time of it) she manages to use work life mentions only if they're germane to the story. A celebrity gossip roman-a-clef, this is not.
October 30, 2019
IQ "Adam was still trying to be my friend, although I had told him repeatedly before we broke up, and even afterward, that ex-boyfriends don't get the luxury of my friendship. That's a luxury because I'm a damned good friend." (184)
THE ENGAGEMENT GAME is a much-needed look at the lives of twentysomething Black women, particularly when it comes to their romantic lives. Unfortunately a rambling stream of consciousness narration and a lack of editing made it hard for me to rave over this one even with the unique topic. It reads like a journal and not in a good way, there's far too much detail about things that have no bearing on the story (her trip to Turkey and celebrity interviews come to mind) and it causes a distraction. In particular I wish there had been more of a point with sharing her entertainment interviews, at first I was eager to get this sneak peek into her job but the stories were extremely anti-climatic. Maybe she had to keep the juicy bits to herself or by the time the book was published the celebs were more outdated so it was less interesting but either way it didn't work for me. Additionally at times the author struck me as sending mixed messages, on the one hand she proudly touted feminism and personal agency. But in the same breath she talked about self-improvement that seemed overly harsh and self-correcting, subscribing to a more old-fashioned (and harmful) view of what/how a woman should be in order to find love/happiness. I also wish the ending had been less of a cliffhanger but luckily for me the author recently posted a social media update that answered some (though not all!) of the lingering questions that I had. McKenzie reminds us that there's no shame in a woman wanting to be married or not wanting to be married. Ultimately I applaud her for encouraging women to own their future (and desires) particularly when it comes to romance.
THE ENGAGEMENT GAME is a much-needed look at the lives of twentysomething Black women, particularly when it comes to their romantic lives. Unfortunately a rambling stream of consciousness narration and a lack of editing made it hard for me to rave over this one even with the unique topic. It reads like a journal and not in a good way, there's far too much detail about things that have no bearing on the story (her trip to Turkey and celebrity interviews come to mind) and it causes a distraction. In particular I wish there had been more of a point with sharing her entertainment interviews, at first I was eager to get this sneak peek into her job but the stories were extremely anti-climatic. Maybe she had to keep the juicy bits to herself or by the time the book was published the celebs were more outdated so it was less interesting but either way it didn't work for me. Additionally at times the author struck me as sending mixed messages, on the one hand she proudly touted feminism and personal agency. But in the same breath she talked about self-improvement that seemed overly harsh and self-correcting, subscribing to a more old-fashioned (and harmful) view of what/how a woman should be in order to find love/happiness. I also wish the ending had been less of a cliffhanger but luckily for me the author recently posted a social media update that answered some (though not all!) of the lingering questions that I had. McKenzie reminds us that there's no shame in a woman wanting to be married or not wanting to be married. Ultimately I applaud her for encouraging women to own their future (and desires) particularly when it comes to romance.
January 5, 2018
A good lesson on expectations, comparing yourself and your relationship to others and learning to love yourself first. I'll admit the author came off a little spoiled and bratty in the beginning but overall good message.
September 2, 2018
Wow
Joii-mate takes you on a roller coaster ride on relationships love heartbreak and healing. This book is a reminder that loving yourself truthfully and whole-heartedly is the first step to anything.
Joii-mate takes you on a roller coaster ride on relationships love heartbreak and healing. This book is a reminder that loving yourself truthfully and whole-heartedly is the first step to anything.
October 16, 2017
This book is a really great and relatable read by a talented writer who shares what she knows which is that adulting is hard and we're all going through it in our own way!!
April 25, 2018
3.5 stars. An entertaining and relatable read on being single while everyone around you is getting married and having kids. I found a lot of passages to underline as I read through.
August 7, 2020
Cute! Felt like reading a long form article in Cosmo or something.
April 11, 2017
I received as autographed copy of this book through a Goodreads giveaway! Thanks again!!
I really enjoyed this book. It rings true to me, even though I haven't been actively searching for a partner, I'm already feeling some of the societal pressure. Joi talks about this through the story of her quest for an engagement ring. I really enjoyed the author's voice through the novel; it was colored by humor and led by very real, relatable voice.
I will say though, I'm slightly confused as to what I should take away from this book. For so long, Joi defined the periods of her life by the men she was with. She tried to get away from that, however, I'm not sure she truly succeeded. This is very much a tale of her life and personal revelations. Not everything fits together neatly with a unified message.
Read this book with that in mind. It won't necessarily help you much in overcoming the societal pressures of marriage (although there are a few tidbits of advice that might be better summed up in a paragraph than a novel), but it's an interesting story of a woman learning to live her life in a way that makes her happy.
I really enjoyed this book. It rings true to me, even though I haven't been actively searching for a partner, I'm already feeling some of the societal pressure. Joi talks about this through the story of her quest for an engagement ring. I really enjoyed the author's voice through the novel; it was colored by humor and led by very real, relatable voice.
I will say though, I'm slightly confused as to what I should take away from this book. For so long, Joi defined the periods of her life by the men she was with. She tried to get away from that, however, I'm not sure she truly succeeded. This is very much a tale of her life and personal revelations. Not everything fits together neatly with a unified message.
Read this book with that in mind. It won't necessarily help you much in overcoming the societal pressures of marriage (although there are a few tidbits of advice that might be better summed up in a paragraph than a novel), but it's an interesting story of a woman learning to live her life in a way that makes her happy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews