The Sandwich Years: How to survive when the people in your life need you most

by Alana Kirk

The Sandwich Years is the heartfelt, inspirational story of the bond between mothers and daughters, and how one woman - through caring for the person she had relied on the most - finally found herself.

Alana Kirk, married with two children and a third on the way, often found herself stretched between the various demands on her time - parenting, marriage, work, friendship, self. But when her mother suffered a massive stroke, just days after the birth of daughter Ruby, Alana's life became unrecognisable.

The next five years - 'the sandwich years' - were a time of heartbreak and difficult choices as Alana lost herself amid part-time caring for her mother, supporting her father and parenting three young daughters, while also attempting to get her career back on track. But it was also a time of growth and love as Alana rediscovered the joy her loved ones bring to her life, and learned how to find a way back to herself.

The Sandwich Years is a celebration of mothers and daughters, and everyday warriors.

(Previously published as Daughter, Mother, Me )

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 11, 2017

About the author

Originally from Belfast, Alana Kirk now lives in Dublin. She has travelled the world – helping to release Orang-utans into the wild in Borneo; interviewing child soldiers in Sierra Leone; sitting with gun-wielding men in a tent in Kurdistan – working for charities and writing their stories.
At the age of eighteen, she left Ireland for Pakistan and spent a year teaching at a girls’ school in Karachi. She went on to study international politics and writing at Lancaster University, and has worked as Deputy Director of UNICEF Ireland and Director of Fundraising and Communications at Barnardos. When her eldest daughter, Daisy, was born in 2006, Alana took a step back from full-time work to focus on her family, and began to develop a freelance career as a writer.
Shortly after the birth of her youngest child in 2010, Alana’s mother had a devastating stroke. Shortly afterwards, Alana created a blog entitled The Sandwich Years, in which she wrote about the demands and the struggles of being sandwiched between the two ends of her life – her children and her parents.

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok at the start of this book there were parts I enjoyed and parts I wasn't keen on. As I read further on the book began to split into three sections for me
1. The storytelling....the day to day events of life as events unfolded
2. The statistics.....research and figures thrown it to do with some of the storytelling events
3. The repetition and random.....certain phrases told over and over and random things such as George Clooney

So for the first half of the book the storytelling held my attention, the statistics though not really needed were sometimes interesting and for the first couple of times the repetition and random endearing. As time went on the statistics got skim read and the mention of George Clooney had me jumping a couple of sentences to get back to the point quicker than had I read his random escapades. By 65% I found I was skim reading bigger and bigger sections and the repetition of phrases such as her mum liking "a little bit of something nice" with her Earl Grey tea and the appearances of George Clooney just became irritating. To be honest most of the last quarter of the book was skim read in order to finish this for a netgalley review and if it hadn't been a review book I'd have given up a lot sooner.
It's a shame I think it's possibly the blogging journalistic background of the author that lets this book down as the storytelling could have been better expressed possibly by fictionalising the family and telling the events more from that style....it certainly could have lost the statistics that made the book feel formal and on this occasion I'd have happily given up altogether on George Clooney.

[Margaret Mary Lynch · Rating 2 out of 5]

Started out really well describing the "sandwich years" when the author was torn between the needs of her three young children and the needs of her mother who had a stroke. I could identify with her and her plight but the story lost its way a little towards the end and I felt became a bit repetitive. I thought just too many references to "Earl Grey tea and something nice with it"

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful memoir and beautiful tribute to Alana's Mother. A true mother and daughter relationship with both grief and joy. Written so well and a very enjoyable yet emotional read.

Thank you to netgalley. Alana Kirk and the publishers for allowing me to review this lovely book

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok at the start of this book there were parts I enjoyed and parts I wasn't keen on. As I read further on the book began to split into three sections for me 1. The storytelling....the day to day events of life as events unfolded 2. The statistics.....research and figures thrown it to do with some of the storytelling events 3. The reputation and random.....certain phrases told over and over and random things such as George Clooney

So for the first half of the book the storytelling held my attention, the statistics though not really needed were sometimes interesting and for the first couple of times the repetition and random endearing. As time went on the statistics got skim read and the mention of George Clooney had me jumping a couple of sentences to get back to the point quicker than had I read his random escapades. By 65% I found I was skim reading bigger and bigger sections and the repetition of phrases such as her mum liking "a little bit of something nice" with her Earl Grey tea and the appearances of George Clooney just became irritating. To be honest most of the last quarter of the book was skim read in order to finish this for a netgalley review and if it hadn't been a review book I'd have given up a lot sooner.
It's a shame I think it's possibly the blogging journalistic background of the author that lets this book down as the storytelling could have been better expressed possibly by fictionalising the family and telling the events more from that style....it certainly could have lost the statistics that made the book feel formal and on this occasion I'd have happily given up altogether on George Clooney.

[Angel Serrano · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lacrimógena autobiografía en la que la autora nos cuenta los años enque tuvo que cuidar a la vez de sus hijas pequeñas (3) y de su madre después de que sufriera una parálisis cerebral. Entre esas dos obligaciones, su vida se convirtió en un bocadillo. Narración repetitiva (casi obsesiva) y, a menudo, sentimental

[Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the first time I have read this genre of book. Its a true life story of something that I can understand. Being a mother and a daughter can often be difficult, throw into the mix a parent who is seriously ill and no longer the person you knew, loved and relied on for so long. Alana managed to convey how difficult that can be, but she didn't write all doom and gloom. There were some elements of humour which lightened the book at times. She was honest about how difficult it is to be something to everyone but still have time for you. Well done, I think this book can help you realise you are not the only one going through these struggles but life does work out.

[Cathy Coley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Swirl

Alana Kirk's memoir is a beautiful tribute to her mother and herself. Her writing swirls around the emotions of grief and care giving and pulls you into the spout of the whirlpool, then miraculously, you rise up out of the depths with her, too. Grief and joy, death and life are so woven together, its hard to imagine they can exist separately. Its a highly relatable read for any mother or daughter.

[Bridget Ivanovic · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not the best writing but it's readable and has some sweet moments. Wish the author all the best .

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started well, a lot of repetition in the middle sector and then finished well. Worth a read.

[Agnes Marton · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's like a first draft. A strict editor would have killed the clichés and the aimless repetitions.