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I Give You My Life
Ayya Khema (1923-1997) was the first Western woman to become a Theravadan Buddhist nun. As such, she has served as a model and inspiration for women from all the Buddhist traditions who have sought to revive the practice of women's monasticism in modern times. Though her renown as a teacher is widespread, few know the truly amazing details of her life before her monastic ordination at the age of fifty-eight.
And what a life it was. Born Ilse Kussel in Berlin, Germany, she grew up in a prosperous Jewish family that was broken up by Nazi terror in 1938. The story of her escape alone to Scotland, and her journey to rejoin her family in China, would be enough for a thrilling adventure novel in itself—but it is only the beginning of the story. Her later adventures included—but were not limited to—surviving the Japanese invasion of China; living the life of a suburban housewife in Los Angeles, California; journeying up the Amazon; studying in a Bolivian university; building a power plant in Pakistan; and establishing the first organic farm in Australia. Her Buddhist practice was a result of a pursuit of the spiritual life that began in her forties when she encountered spiritual teachers in India. She eventually founded a monastery in Sri Lanka, from where, through her books and her teaching travels, she became one of the most widely respected of contemporary teachers, particularly skilled in interpreting the Buddhist teachings for her fellow Westerners.
And what a life it was. Born Ilse Kussel in Berlin, Germany, she grew up in a prosperous Jewish family that was broken up by Nazi terror in 1938. The story of her escape alone to Scotland, and her journey to rejoin her family in China, would be enough for a thrilling adventure novel in itself—but it is only the beginning of the story. Her later adventures included—but were not limited to—surviving the Japanese invasion of China; living the life of a suburban housewife in Los Angeles, California; journeying up the Amazon; studying in a Bolivian university; building a power plant in Pakistan; and establishing the first organic farm in Australia. Her Buddhist practice was a result of a pursuit of the spiritual life that began in her forties when she encountered spiritual teachers in India. She eventually founded a monastery in Sri Lanka, from where, through her books and her teaching travels, she became one of the most widely respected of contemporary teachers, particularly skilled in interpreting the Buddhist teachings for her fellow Westerners.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1998
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153 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
June 14, 2009
beatifully written with great simplicity of style, this woman's extraordinary experiences and her lifelong spiritual quest from world war two to today. Covers her childhood in Europe, adulthood spent in America, Australia, South America, Nepal and -as later a fully fledged buddhist nun - Sri Lanka and finally Germany, her birthplace. Buddhism simply explained, a delight to read.
May 16, 2023
This book is not only an account of a fascinating life but it is absolutely liberating to read as a woman and a mother. At first I struggled with what seemed like the abandonment of her daughter and the idea of her son fitting around her life choices. I also found her descriptions of detaching from them disturbing. But on reflection that makes total sense in terms of her life prior to children and of course in the Buddhist sense, and it served as an inspiration to parent in a different style, to let go. I can’t wait to read more of her work especially on meditative absorption and I am sorry I didn’t see her teach when she was alive.
September 9, 2020
Ayya Khema is one of my favorite of all Buddhist teachers. Born Ilse Kussel in Berlin in 1923, she passed away as Ayya Khema in 1997 leaving many books and recordings of her talks from which we can learn today. This is an account of her remarkable life.
Just after Kristallnacht, her parents made arrangements for her to join a children's transport group going to England and fled to Shanghai, leaving her in the care of an Aunt. She escaped Berlin, never to see any of her family or friends left behind again. After a lonely year in Glasgow, she joined her parents in Shanghai, until the Japanese invasion forced her family to give up their home and business and live in a ghetto...and from there, her nomadic life with many twists and turns included marriage, children then travel and adventure and eventually stepping onto the spiritual path, ordination as a Buddhist nun, and the founding of Nun's Island, a Buddhist monastery in Sri Lanka, and—full circle—Buddha Haus in Germany.
She says of teachers, "Only if in teaching you experience yourself as still learning do you have what people call authority. Only if that is the case do you touch peoples' hearts. They have to feel that this person who talks so cleverly has also been through learning himself, has accomplished something that I can emulate; this person does not talk like a book, but from the heart." She is speaking of herself, as I experience her.
Just after Kristallnacht, her parents made arrangements for her to join a children's transport group going to England and fled to Shanghai, leaving her in the care of an Aunt. She escaped Berlin, never to see any of her family or friends left behind again. After a lonely year in Glasgow, she joined her parents in Shanghai, until the Japanese invasion forced her family to give up their home and business and live in a ghetto...and from there, her nomadic life with many twists and turns included marriage, children then travel and adventure and eventually stepping onto the spiritual path, ordination as a Buddhist nun, and the founding of Nun's Island, a Buddhist monastery in Sri Lanka, and—full circle—Buddha Haus in Germany.
She says of teachers, "Only if in teaching you experience yourself as still learning do you have what people call authority. Only if that is the case do you touch peoples' hearts. They have to feel that this person who talks so cleverly has also been through learning himself, has accomplished something that I can emulate; this person does not talk like a book, but from the heart." She is speaking of herself, as I experience her.
February 23, 2025
"I Give You My Life" is a provocative autobiography of the life of Ayya Khema chronicling her life through her escape from Nazi Germany followed by her escape from Japanese annexation of China to Australia. The dire circumstances of her life led to her investigation of several Eastern and Western traditions finally leading to her spiritual conversion to Buddhism where she became a Buddhist nun and led to her promulgation of Buddhist teachings. This is a remarkable, fast paced and inspirational book that I would highly recommend.
June 13, 2020
The autobiography of a Jewish woman who escaped the Nazis and became a Buddhist nun.
And about all her adventures in-between. A great read, also for non-Buddhists.
And about all her adventures in-between. A great read, also for non-Buddhists.
October 8, 2023
Tore & armas
October 7, 2025
From Ilse Kussel To Ayya Khema
Ayya Khema (1923-1997)played an important role in the ongoing revival of Western interest in Buddhism. Her autobiography "I give you my Life" (1997), completed just before her death, tells the story of the development of her commitment to Buddhism and spirituality and of her decision at age 55 to become a Buddhist nun. Each chapter in her brief book is introduced by a verse from the Dhammapada, a seminal Buddhist scriptural text consisting of short poems, which illuminates in a telling way the portion of her life under discussion.
Ayya Khema ("Ayya" is an honorific title for Buddhist nuns while "Khema" was the name of a nun during the Buddha's lifetime) was born Ilse Kussel in 1923 in Berlin to a prosperous, assimilated Jewish family. The family fled Germany before the Holocaust and Ilse, as a teenager, travelled by steamer to Glasgow, Scotland before joining her family shortly thereafter in Shanghai. She married in her late teens and travelled to California with her husband where she worked in a bank, had two children, and appeared settled into an American middle-class life. As a result, she tells us, of a deepening sense of spiritual unrest, she divorced her husband and married a childhood acquaintance named Gerd, whose family had also fled the Holocaust. She and Gern lived a wandering type of life in South America and Asia, where her husband was an engineer. The couple ultimately settled in Australia, bought a farm and raised shetland ponies. This marriage too ended with Ilse's, continued search for spiritual wisdom and her growing interest in meditation. Ilse became a Buddhist nun at the age of 55, helped establish three Buddhist convents in Sri Lanka, Australia, and Germany, became a meditation master, worked ceaselessly to revive the Buddhist order of nuns, and wrote prolifically about Buddhism.
Ayya Khema lived an inspiring and full life on many levels and she tells her story well. Apart from her decision to become a nun, I learned a great deal from her willingness to make a radical change in mid-life. It is important to see how people may change and develop throughout their lives, and I was moved to see this realized in Ayya Khema's story.
In many ways, Ayya Khema's autobiography radiates sincerity and purpose and fulfills its goal of speaking directly to the reader. This is especially true in her introduction and in the sections of her book following her ordination where she explains what the Buddhist path has meant to her. The final pages of the book, written when Ayya Khema knew she would soon die, have a rare immediacy and poignancy.
Most autobiographies conceal as much about their subject as they reveal, and Ayya Khema's autobiography is no exception. The book gives a good picture of the externals of Ilse Kussel's life but, I thought, too little of what was going on inside. I found myself wanting to know more about Ilse's two marriages and the reasons for their failures. There is a brief discussion of Ilse's attempt to recover her spirituality through Judaism, and I would have liked to hear more. Beyond references to the suffering of life and to the inevitability of change, I would have liked more detail of Ilse's early study of spiritual texts. And I would have liked more details on the course she pursued during her meditation retreats and on what it was she learned from the Indian and Buddhist masters she reveres as her teachers.
This autobiography shows effectively Ilse Kussel's transformation into Ayya Khema. It shows what was important to Ayya Khema when she became a nun and how she worked to realize herself as a Buddhist nun. We see Ilse Kussel/Ayya Khema througout her life as an intelligent strong-willed and determined woman. I still do not fully understand, after reading this inspiring story, the internal process by which Isle Kussel became transformed into Ayya Khema.
Robin Friedman
Ayya Khema (1923-1997)played an important role in the ongoing revival of Western interest in Buddhism. Her autobiography "I give you my Life" (1997), completed just before her death, tells the story of the development of her commitment to Buddhism and spirituality and of her decision at age 55 to become a Buddhist nun. Each chapter in her brief book is introduced by a verse from the Dhammapada, a seminal Buddhist scriptural text consisting of short poems, which illuminates in a telling way the portion of her life under discussion.
Ayya Khema ("Ayya" is an honorific title for Buddhist nuns while "Khema" was the name of a nun during the Buddha's lifetime) was born Ilse Kussel in 1923 in Berlin to a prosperous, assimilated Jewish family. The family fled Germany before the Holocaust and Ilse, as a teenager, travelled by steamer to Glasgow, Scotland before joining her family shortly thereafter in Shanghai. She married in her late teens and travelled to California with her husband where she worked in a bank, had two children, and appeared settled into an American middle-class life. As a result, she tells us, of a deepening sense of spiritual unrest, she divorced her husband and married a childhood acquaintance named Gerd, whose family had also fled the Holocaust. She and Gern lived a wandering type of life in South America and Asia, where her husband was an engineer. The couple ultimately settled in Australia, bought a farm and raised shetland ponies. This marriage too ended with Ilse's, continued search for spiritual wisdom and her growing interest in meditation. Ilse became a Buddhist nun at the age of 55, helped establish three Buddhist convents in Sri Lanka, Australia, and Germany, became a meditation master, worked ceaselessly to revive the Buddhist order of nuns, and wrote prolifically about Buddhism.
Ayya Khema lived an inspiring and full life on many levels and she tells her story well. Apart from her decision to become a nun, I learned a great deal from her willingness to make a radical change in mid-life. It is important to see how people may change and develop throughout their lives, and I was moved to see this realized in Ayya Khema's story.
In many ways, Ayya Khema's autobiography radiates sincerity and purpose and fulfills its goal of speaking directly to the reader. This is especially true in her introduction and in the sections of her book following her ordination where she explains what the Buddhist path has meant to her. The final pages of the book, written when Ayya Khema knew she would soon die, have a rare immediacy and poignancy.
Most autobiographies conceal as much about their subject as they reveal, and Ayya Khema's autobiography is no exception. The book gives a good picture of the externals of Ilse Kussel's life but, I thought, too little of what was going on inside. I found myself wanting to know more about Ilse's two marriages and the reasons for their failures. There is a brief discussion of Ilse's attempt to recover her spirituality through Judaism, and I would have liked to hear more. Beyond references to the suffering of life and to the inevitability of change, I would have liked more detail of Ilse's early study of spiritual texts. And I would have liked more details on the course she pursued during her meditation retreats and on what it was she learned from the Indian and Buddhist masters she reveres as her teachers.
This autobiography shows effectively Ilse Kussel's transformation into Ayya Khema. It shows what was important to Ayya Khema when she became a nun and how she worked to realize herself as a Buddhist nun. We see Ilse Kussel/Ayya Khema througout her life as an intelligent strong-willed and determined woman. I still do not fully understand, after reading this inspiring story, the internal process by which Isle Kussel became transformed into Ayya Khema.
Robin Friedman
January 2, 2012
I've read one of Ayya Khema's books I was interested in reading her autobiography. The child of jews during the Holocaust, she has a rich and adventurous life before becoming a Buddhist nun. I'm torn about this book. I was hoping the book would venture into the inner dialogue and beliefs about her life. However, she writes it from a distance. This happened, that happened etc. While she clearly had an interesting life and that is what kept me reading, I would have loved this book to have a deeper look at her spiritual journey. Clearly her devotion to the Buddhist life was significant, but we don't get to really delve into why. A lost opportunity.
January 30, 2011
Biography of the German-born first Western woman ordained a nun in the Theravadin tradition. Much of the book chronicles her itinerant pre-Buddhist life, travelling and living in China, California, South American and then in Australia (she didn't begin to practice seriously until her mid-40's). A fairly straight and non-spiritual account. She was a recognized master of achieving jhana states (deep profound states of mental absorption) and wrote a book specifically on how to practice these that I'd like to read.
Want to read
July 2, 2012Sometimes I have no memory of what compelled to order a book on Amazon that I thought I must read. It has happened so many times that I'll never finish all of them. There is a reason for Amazon's "Wish list" which could delay my "wants".
April 4, 2016
Like books about personal spiritual paths. This is about a Buddhist nun.
January 12, 2016
With this book, I was brought to many other Ayya Khema's books and teachings on YouTube. Definitely a must-read.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews