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From Mom to Me Again: How I Survived My First Empty-Nest Year and Reinvented the Rest of My Life
Rediscover your own identity after your kids leave home with this top-rated empty nest book for moms!
This empowering and insightful book is packed with practical advice, inspiring anecdotes, and valuable strategies to help you navigate the transition into empty nesting and discover a vibrant new identity.
Written by an experienced author who has been through the journey herself, this book is your trusted companion as you embark on this transformative phase. Whether you're feeling lost, overwhelmed, or uncertain about what lies ahead, From Mom to Me Again offers a roadmap to reclaiming your independence, rediscovering your passions, and embracing the joy and opportunities that come with an empty nest.
Inside, you'll
Practical tips for adjusting to life without children at home, creating a fulfilling routine, and establishing new goals.Inspiring stories from real women who have successfully reinvented themselves after their children have flown the nest.Expert advice on self-care, cultivating new friendships, and exploring new hobbies or career paths.Strategies for nurturing your relationships with your grown children and maintaining a strong bond while giving them space to grow.Guidance on navigating the emotional ups and downs of this transition and finding a renewed sense of purpose.Whether you're a newly empty-nester or have been on this journey for some time, From Mom to Me Again is your go-to resource for embracing change, rediscovering yourself, and living life to the fullest. With its wealth of wisdom, actionable steps, and uplifting guidance, this book is a must-read for every woman ready to embark on a new chapter of her life.
Also makes a great gift for empty nesters!
This empowering and insightful book is packed with practical advice, inspiring anecdotes, and valuable strategies to help you navigate the transition into empty nesting and discover a vibrant new identity.
Written by an experienced author who has been through the journey herself, this book is your trusted companion as you embark on this transformative phase. Whether you're feeling lost, overwhelmed, or uncertain about what lies ahead, From Mom to Me Again offers a roadmap to reclaiming your independence, rediscovering your passions, and embracing the joy and opportunities that come with an empty nest.
Inside, you'll
Practical tips for adjusting to life without children at home, creating a fulfilling routine, and establishing new goals.Inspiring stories from real women who have successfully reinvented themselves after their children have flown the nest.Expert advice on self-care, cultivating new friendships, and exploring new hobbies or career paths.Strategies for nurturing your relationships with your grown children and maintaining a strong bond while giving them space to grow.Guidance on navigating the emotional ups and downs of this transition and finding a renewed sense of purpose.Whether you're a newly empty-nester or have been on this journey for some time, From Mom to Me Again is your go-to resource for embracing change, rediscovering yourself, and living life to the fullest. With its wealth of wisdom, actionable steps, and uplifting guidance, this book is a must-read for every woman ready to embark on a new chapter of her life.
Also makes a great gift for empty nesters!
226 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2016
119 people are currently reading
699 people want to read
About the author
Melissa Shultz
3 books13 followersMelissa T. Shultz is a writer and editor whose work has been published by The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Dallas Morning News, AARP’s The Ethel, Ladies’ Home Journal, Parade, Newsweek, Reader’s Digest, PROVOKED, and many other publications. She is Editor-at-Large for Jim Donovan Literary and the author of From Mom to Me Again and What Will I Do if I Miss You? Melissa has edited nonfiction manuscripts and book proposals for more than 40 Big Five-published books, some of them New York Times bestsellers.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
June 19, 2016
This book was a perfect read for this stage of my life. One child has graduated college, one child is a high school senior this year, and the last one is starting high school. The winds of change are blowing harder, and this Stay at Home Mom of the past 21 years is starting to feel the breeze.
I enjoyed the style of the writing: a combination of memoir and research, liberally sprinkled with helpful resources and links throughout. I found myself highlighting and bookmarking things I will go back and refer to over the next few years.
Most importantly, reading it helped me acknowledge that my thoughts, concerns and worries are normal, and also helped me realize some things I would not have even thought of.. and actions I can start doing to make this life transition something to look forward to.
Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for the advance reader copy of this book. All words and opinions herein are solely my own.
I enjoyed the style of the writing: a combination of memoir and research, liberally sprinkled with helpful resources and links throughout. I found myself highlighting and bookmarking things I will go back and refer to over the next few years.
Most importantly, reading it helped me acknowledge that my thoughts, concerns and worries are normal, and also helped me realize some things I would not have even thought of.. and actions I can start doing to make this life transition something to look forward to.
Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for the advance reader copy of this book. All words and opinions herein are solely my own.
January 19, 2024
I really enjoyed this book. As I read it I discovered that the author is a lot like me at this stage of my life. She gives practical advice on how to approach the empty nest phase but these are merely suggestions as you of course have to do what’s suitable for you. If nothing else, it’s just nice to know someone can relate to what we’re going through and that we’re not alone.
August 3, 2025
I debated giving this two stars instead of one star because the author seems like a nice person. However, I couldn’t in good faith do that since I found the book so deeply clueless. If the genre had been memoir instead of parenting advice then sure, I could get behind even 3 stars. Shultz is one of those authors that thinks what is applicable to her specific life is something that is broadly applicable to others. It’s not.
If you are a upper middle class/wealthy woman who lives in the American suburbs and is a stay at home mom with a profitable side gig and has successful neurotypical children, a supportive husband, a beautiful home and a large group of friends then this is the self help book for you! If this doesn’t describe you then please, do yourself a favor, and skip reading this.
I grabbed this from the library thinking maybe she would be writing about how to grow and develop in the final third of life. Hahaha, what was I thinking. I could relate to literally nothing she was writing about. I should have DNF when she gave a quick questionnaire and I answered NO to all of them.
Do any of these describe you?
1. Your teenager is your best friend.
2. You make day-to-day choices that concern your teen, for your teen.
3. Your teen tells you everything. Everything.
4. You and your spouse spend most of your time together talking about your children.
5. You and your friends spend most of your time together talking about your children.
6. Your days revolve around child-related activities.
7. When you think about your son or daughter leaving for school or moving out, you get so emotional you cannot talk about it.
8.You feel as if your best years are behind you.
9. You're thinking about moving closer to your child while he or she is in college.
Other than #7, where I am so thrilled and filled with joy at the idea of them being launched that I am rendered temporarily speechless, the rest of these get a big fat NO from me. Your teenager is your best friend?! OMG that is so tragic and sad. You talk about nothing else with others but kids? You have no interests other than kids? Ouch.
So yeah, my bad for not stopping then. The book is only 200 pages long so I thought, well, maybe it will get so stupid it will be a fun hate read. Not even. It’s mainly a memoir about her life and she isn’t terrible enough to hate. It was more me being stunned at how unrelatable I found her.
She mentions being a people pleaser, which I am not (ask people who know me haha) and how she never focused on herself, always others. Huh.
I had to learn to focus on myself and not feel guilty about it.
I will remember to give myself permission to do things that have nothing to do with being a mom and everything to do with me rediscovering how to be me. And I will learn to be okay with that even if it makes me feel totally weird
This is the one paragraph in the book where she acknowledges that maybe not every kid moves out at 18.
Of course, not everyone has a child who heads off to college or moves away from home after high school. Some kids choose a different path, and some are not able to attend school for a host of reasons from finances to illness to physical and/ or learning disabilities.
Ok, so what about those families? What should they do? Shultz doesn’t say. She interviews a lot of women who think the same way she does. She has chapters on rekindling your marriage and on how to reenter the workforce. She again assumes that there is nothing truly wrong with the marriage and that the woman has college degrees and a lot of white collar workplace experience. There are a lot of assumptions happening in this book.
Upside the book only took a day to skim/read because it was so short and mainly consisted of anecdotes.
If you are a upper middle class/wealthy woman who lives in the American suburbs and is a stay at home mom with a profitable side gig and has successful neurotypical children, a supportive husband, a beautiful home and a large group of friends then this is the self help book for you! If this doesn’t describe you then please, do yourself a favor, and skip reading this.
I grabbed this from the library thinking maybe she would be writing about how to grow and develop in the final third of life. Hahaha, what was I thinking. I could relate to literally nothing she was writing about. I should have DNF when she gave a quick questionnaire and I answered NO to all of them.
Do any of these describe you?
1. Your teenager is your best friend.
2. You make day-to-day choices that concern your teen, for your teen.
3. Your teen tells you everything. Everything.
4. You and your spouse spend most of your time together talking about your children.
5. You and your friends spend most of your time together talking about your children.
6. Your days revolve around child-related activities.
7. When you think about your son or daughter leaving for school or moving out, you get so emotional you cannot talk about it.
8.You feel as if your best years are behind you.
9. You're thinking about moving closer to your child while he or she is in college.
Other than #7, where I am so thrilled and filled with joy at the idea of them being launched that I am rendered temporarily speechless, the rest of these get a big fat NO from me. Your teenager is your best friend?! OMG that is so tragic and sad. You talk about nothing else with others but kids? You have no interests other than kids? Ouch.
So yeah, my bad for not stopping then. The book is only 200 pages long so I thought, well, maybe it will get so stupid it will be a fun hate read. Not even. It’s mainly a memoir about her life and she isn’t terrible enough to hate. It was more me being stunned at how unrelatable I found her.
She mentions being a people pleaser, which I am not (ask people who know me haha) and how she never focused on herself, always others. Huh.
I had to learn to focus on myself and not feel guilty about it.
I will remember to give myself permission to do things that have nothing to do with being a mom and everything to do with me rediscovering how to be me. And I will learn to be okay with that even if it makes me feel totally weird
This is the one paragraph in the book where she acknowledges that maybe not every kid moves out at 18.
Of course, not everyone has a child who heads off to college or moves away from home after high school. Some kids choose a different path, and some are not able to attend school for a host of reasons from finances to illness to physical and/ or learning disabilities.
Ok, so what about those families? What should they do? Shultz doesn’t say. She interviews a lot of women who think the same way she does. She has chapters on rekindling your marriage and on how to reenter the workforce. She again assumes that there is nothing truly wrong with the marriage and that the woman has college degrees and a lot of white collar workplace experience. There are a lot of assumptions happening in this book.
Upside the book only took a day to skim/read because it was so short and mainly consisted of anecdotes.
February 13, 2023
There were some very helpful tips in this book and some things that were good places to start. However the overall organization and layout of the book made it difficult for me to follow. It seemed very stream of consciousness and mixed too many different people’s perspectives together. I would not read it from cover to cover but maybe just apply some of it to areas of struggle.
November 29, 2021
They make me proud every day.
I won't always be here for my kids, but while I am still here I'm going to have to learn to accept what I cannot control and learn to control a whole lot less.
Ask how can I help? Instead of telling them what to do.
Remember that I am still in the game. I just moved from pitcher to catcher and they are the one's who are up to bat.
What kids need now is not instructions about how to do everything right but the resourcefulness and resilience to cope with things when they go wrong.
Just be gentle as you work to free yourself from following old lessons that were given many years ago, internalized when you were too young to know the patterns you were learning.
Regret reflects a sense of responsibility, and that's an honorable thing. But when it's taken too far, it can keep you stuck in the past, concentrating on something you are powerless to change.
Healthy regret moves through stages, as grief. The operable word is moves.
Learn from the past and move on. Don't dwell on it.
The thing about a transition is that it provides opportunities to revisit the past and leave behind what isn't relevant to your future or what may be preventing you from imagining it. After my father died, his physical absence made it easier for me to work through feelings without being swayed by his behavior.
It's not your fault. You were just a kid. All kids deserve to be loved and protected. Don't blame yourself for what your parent did or didn't do, what they said or didn't say.
A negative relationship with a parent doesn't need to define you. As mature adults, we have the power to set the course of our lives.
Raising activity in the regions of our brain associated with planning and our sense of reward, we can experience for longer periods of time.
Look around and see what you can control in your life. Today. Make that small behavior change or attitude change today.
Grow your own life.
If you could make a documentary about any subject, what would you choose and why?
We don't own our children. We shape them and introduce them to the world and then we set them free.
Shit really does happen. Sometimes for days or weeks or years in a row. You have to believe that it will come to an end, or it never does.
Believe in yourself. No one else will if you won't.
Rethink endings. When you think you've reached one, make it a middle instead.
They go away, yes. But not forever. Just for longer and longer. Transitioning to their absence is about shifting the focus, allowing yourself to reevaluate your own needs hopes and dreams.
We must not dwell. It's not about what you didn't do that matters; it's about where you go from here. And you'll never get anywhere if you beat yourself up.
I won't always be here for my kids, but while I am still here I'm going to have to learn to accept what I cannot control and learn to control a whole lot less.
Ask how can I help? Instead of telling them what to do.
Remember that I am still in the game. I just moved from pitcher to catcher and they are the one's who are up to bat.
What kids need now is not instructions about how to do everything right but the resourcefulness and resilience to cope with things when they go wrong.
Just be gentle as you work to free yourself from following old lessons that were given many years ago, internalized when you were too young to know the patterns you were learning.
Regret reflects a sense of responsibility, and that's an honorable thing. But when it's taken too far, it can keep you stuck in the past, concentrating on something you are powerless to change.
Healthy regret moves through stages, as grief. The operable word is moves.
Learn from the past and move on. Don't dwell on it.
The thing about a transition is that it provides opportunities to revisit the past and leave behind what isn't relevant to your future or what may be preventing you from imagining it. After my father died, his physical absence made it easier for me to work through feelings without being swayed by his behavior.
It's not your fault. You were just a kid. All kids deserve to be loved and protected. Don't blame yourself for what your parent did or didn't do, what they said or didn't say.
A negative relationship with a parent doesn't need to define you. As mature adults, we have the power to set the course of our lives.
Raising activity in the regions of our brain associated with planning and our sense of reward, we can experience for longer periods of time.
Look around and see what you can control in your life. Today. Make that small behavior change or attitude change today.
Grow your own life.
If you could make a documentary about any subject, what would you choose and why?
We don't own our children. We shape them and introduce them to the world and then we set them free.
Shit really does happen. Sometimes for days or weeks or years in a row. You have to believe that it will come to an end, or it never does.
Believe in yourself. No one else will if you won't.
Rethink endings. When you think you've reached one, make it a middle instead.
They go away, yes. But not forever. Just for longer and longer. Transitioning to their absence is about shifting the focus, allowing yourself to reevaluate your own needs hopes and dreams.
We must not dwell. It's not about what you didn't do that matters; it's about where you go from here. And you'll never get anywhere if you beat yourself up.
March 25, 2021
This had some good insights and great stuff to think about as I prepare for my youngest to leave home in the fall. However, the organization seemed a little haphazard, and most of the career advice was not applicable to my situation. I also had a hard time relating to most of the women the author interviewed, as they were mostly working moms and professional writers/journalists and entertainment execs. I think there was only one who had chosen to stay at home full time, and she made a comment about regretting that choice as "enforcing negative stereotypes about women." That one stabbed me right in the heart. The book was definitely worth reading, though, and inspired me to do a couple of things that I wouldn't have otherwise.
December 30, 2016
Half of this book is just quotes from people that are struggling with their kids leaving to go to college. The other half is hokey advice, mostly targeted at stay at home parents.
May 1, 2018
I didn’t find this book that helpful. Most seemed very obvious
August 12, 2021
With twins entering their senior year of high school, I am doing a lot of thinking about my 4th life chapter, which I call "empty nest" (chapter 1: childhood and college, chapter 2) professional focus, chapter 3) marriage and parenting, and soon, chapter 4) empty nest).
I really enjoyed how this author normalizes the range of emotions that moms may feel when coming up to the empty nest. You don't have to feel weird about your anxiety and lack of a full plan for the empty nest time - it is totally normal to feel this way and most women do! We all know we need to rediscover our own interests, but Ms. Shultz does a good job of talking about how to do that and process your emotions on a big range of topics related to the empty nest. I found it really interesting, motivating and generating hope for a positive transition for me personally.
I recommend reading this in advance of kids moving out and start "pre-processing" your fears and feelings about the transition so they won't be quite so overwhelming as you get closer to it happening. 4.5 stars.
I really enjoyed how this author normalizes the range of emotions that moms may feel when coming up to the empty nest. You don't have to feel weird about your anxiety and lack of a full plan for the empty nest time - it is totally normal to feel this way and most women do! We all know we need to rediscover our own interests, but Ms. Shultz does a good job of talking about how to do that and process your emotions on a big range of topics related to the empty nest. I found it really interesting, motivating and generating hope for a positive transition for me personally.
I recommend reading this in advance of kids moving out and start "pre-processing" your fears and feelings about the transition so they won't be quite so overwhelming as you get closer to it happening. 4.5 stars.
December 12, 2023
Quick read, better than the last empty nest book I read. This one was more of a story rather than explicit advice about situations that may arise when your children leave home.
There were 3 notable quotes or passages:
(From the letter the author wrote to her eldest child upon moving into the dorms the first time) 1. Be the friend you'd like to have. Don't expect to do everything right, right from the start. Actions have repercussions, and people will judge you less sympathetically now that you're on your own.
2. Just be gentle as you work to free yourself from following old lessons that were given many years ago. Progress, not perfection.
3. What you focus on grows in significance. Shift your focus away from how difficult you think it will be to adapt to (your kids) leaving home to more positive and productive thoughts.
There were 3 notable quotes or passages:
(From the letter the author wrote to her eldest child upon moving into the dorms the first time) 1. Be the friend you'd like to have. Don't expect to do everything right, right from the start. Actions have repercussions, and people will judge you less sympathetically now that you're on your own.
2. Just be gentle as you work to free yourself from following old lessons that were given many years ago. Progress, not perfection.
3. What you focus on grows in significance. Shift your focus away from how difficult you think it will be to adapt to (your kids) leaving home to more positive and productive thoughts.
June 14, 2018
Although my "nest" is still full, I am beginning to realize that life goes by fast and soon it will be empty. We still have one college kid at home for breaks (when she isn't traveling the world :) ) and our son has two years of high school. But while driving home from moving our oldest daughter to her first job (post college graduation), I had a moment. Holy moly our lives have been totally wrapped up with our kids. What will things look like when our nest is totally empty? This book was recommended to me and I liked it. Shultz gave some very practical advise and although there were a few times when she went off on some random tirades (her father), overall I thought it was well worth the read.
January 27, 2021
I got this book when I was a new empty nester. The recommendation resonated with me because the author is like me, a writer, blogger, and someone who is reinventing herself. I think the blogger part made me think the chapters would be shorter, easier to sit down with. Instead, the book is organized into 4 parts that feel more like chapters...really, really long chapters. It became daunting to read and, as you can tell by the time it took me to finish the 187 pages of copy (not resources or books referenced), I began to not look forward to reading it.
It is a decent read overall. It has helpful tips, cited sources, and relatable stories.
It is a decent read overall. It has helpful tips, cited sources, and relatable stories.
May 17, 2017
Gave me some good laughs, sorely needed as I am in the grief stage of my empty nest season. It's taken me a year to sink, I've been so busy. I realized that I'd not missed this step of transition, it was simply delayed. Then one morning I woke up and the blues were sitting firmly upon my chest. So, I'm working my way through it, and as books are some of my best friends I decided I'd look to them for some succor and help and compassion. Melissa has a slew of resources at the end of this book, which many will undoubtedly avail themselves of for more of the same.
Good job, Melissa.
Good job, Melissa.
December 29, 2017
A great read about what to expect when your kid goes off to college/leaves the house. I'm a few years away from this, and though I imagine this will be a daunting time for me, Ms. Shultz shows with her down to earth and easy prose that yes, it is a daunting time, but there is much going for it, too. The memoir side made it a bit heart-wrenching, but then the information and research peppered throughout elevate this from what could've been a self-centric navel gazing into something that aims to help other women who will be in the same boat one day.
January 5, 2018
This was such a helpful book. I have four children - two that are actively leaving the nest (one a college freshman and one a high school senior). After staying home to raise my family, I am 19+ years deep of putting others before myself... and I wouldn't change any of it. The question of "what now?!" Is addressed time and time again - regarding finances, marriage, friendships and careers. I will be recommending this book to all of my friends when the time has come for them to "start over". A gentle combination of reality, compassion and humor - and I need it all right now!
August 23, 2018
Although I couldn't relate on every level with Ms. Shultz, I took away some important advice and things to try as I make my way into being an empty-nest parent. Wendy Tremont King was an excellent narrator for this book. She kept the pace just right and made me feel as though I was chatting with a friend.
Full review to come...
*I received a complimentary copy from Tantor Audio. This did not affect my rating and my review is provided voluntarily.*
Full review to come...
*I received a complimentary copy from Tantor Audio. This did not affect my rating and my review is provided voluntarily.*
August 24, 2018
I have three years before our second and last child leaves home, but I'm already starting to question what our lives will look like when that happens. There is surprisingly little out there (in my library, at least) on the topic of being an empty nester. I enjoyed parts of this book, but it didn't really give me the answers I was looking for. Much of it was common sense, and not something new to me.
January 2, 2019
My daughter gave me this book for Christmas and was worried it would hurt my feeling. However, it did the opposite! It set me free from guilt, worry and gave me the validation needed to forgive myself for wallowing in my grief as each child has left for college. The author's mix of humor with reality was freeing. I shed tears and laughed as I raced through the pages. I recommend this book to any parent who is getting ready for their child/children to leave for college.
June 25, 2021
This was a great book. It's chock full of advice from empty nester moms who are professional writers, producers, and bloggers. Melissa Schultz put into words like no other what it feels like to have the kids grow up and leave home. Nothing short than having your heart go walking around outside your body. I'd recommend this book to any mom who is struggling with the transition from being mom to being herself again.
January 7, 2024
Excellent book
This book has all the ingredients to make it one of my favorites and cherished. It reflects my feelings and thoughts so purely, with so much depth and humor at the same time. Makes you laugh, cry and reflect in such a genuine way. I'm deeply thankful to this great author who I have no doubt is a great person as well. Thank you very much for such a beautiful journey.
Judith
This book has all the ingredients to make it one of my favorites and cherished. It reflects my feelings and thoughts so purely, with so much depth and humor at the same time. Makes you laugh, cry and reflect in such a genuine way. I'm deeply thankful to this great author who I have no doubt is a great person as well. Thank you very much for such a beautiful journey.
Judith
August 6, 2024
I hate writing negative reviews, so I'll make this one short. This book was a disappointment. I read the whole thing, hoping it had something good to offer at some point - maybe a little inspiration or friendly encouragement - but it never did. It was mostly recycled blog posts with very little emotion, no warmth at all. It didn't really tell me anything that I couldn't figure out on my own, and it made the empty-nest future seem bleak and flavorless.
October 25, 2020
I’m glad I read this since my only child, my son, potentially will be moving away next year. I’ve been struggling and overall this book was helpful and had some great tips and reminders about the transition. But some of the personal stories were too long and the end about reinventing yourself doesn’t apply. Still, very helpful and worth the read.
July 30, 2025
3.5 rounded up. Some useful and interesting tales of coping with the big transition not discussed enough--how to find purpose after children leave. While the first entries about the feelings of losing the left children were really strong, the focus on what to do about it were less satisfying. Finding a purpose is necessary but I wanted more description how women actually did so.
September 15, 2025
Moms of college kiddos I know you’re out there. 💕 This is a great book to lift and also honor your spirits. I believe it meets you where you’re at. It won’t bring you down. It will validate, encourage, and hold you in your space and suggest ways to gently embrace the changes. It’s sweet and filled with the idea of making this the middle, not the end. Highly recommend! 💕
September 30, 2018
I didn't really get anything out of this that I didn't already know, and there was a lot more just about the authors personal life, that I didn't really think had anything to do with this topic..... but overall it was a fairly good read.
May 9, 2019
This is a good book to skim. Many of the blog excerpts were not as relevant as the main text of the book and not all sections were helpful, but there were enough helpful bits that I don't regret reading the book.
December 16, 2019
While there is some very helpful information in this book, it only pointed out what I already knew about how to adjust from being "Mom" to being me. Someone else may find more take aways from the reading than I did and give it more stars.
March 22, 2021
I liked the author's writing style and her honest feelings about being an empty nester. However, I didn't like how this seemed to be a compilation of posts that the author had previously published. I was intrigued by the author's story but left wanting more - there were many loose ends.
July 19, 2022
Listened to this on audio. I have triplets heading off to college this fall so wanted something to cheer me up for the empty nest I will be experiencing coming next month. It was a light read and great to know that I am not alone in the feeling of grief.
October 2, 2024
There are parts of this that I really want to review again. My first child has left for college, and I'm ready to look forward to what my life might look like in five short years when my baby finally leaves.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews