Pasricha's entry in to the world of happiness mantras, self help books and to do lists is certainly not the worst of the bunch. Typically these books attempt to mash up some good, helpful advice with a pre-packaged list of steps that promises to help change your life. This is certainly here, represented as something of a power point presentation with easy to follow labels and well marked chapter portions (you could really pick up at any point along the way and navigate the material quite well). But it is also represented in the slightly unconventional approach of it's title, an attempt to fuse the negative notion of wanting with the positive statement of having.
I picked up the book after developing a recent curiosity in to the discussion of happiness. It goes a long ways (rightly so) to dispel the modern myth of more is better, and addresses the limitations of our pursuit for success on puruely monetary and status terms. Where the book loses me is in the failure to fully reconcile our idea of happiness outside of notions of "having". It does help to reorient our ways of thinking about why and how and what, but it doesn't fully protect against the trappings of the to-do-list.
Much of where the book re-orients our thinking is in our recognition of the inner/outward conundrum (what matters most is what we think of ourselves), the powerful impact of understanding the place of negative/positive thinking, and time management. All of this is fairly (and reasonably) familiar (or should be anyways), such as the idea that exercise makes us healthier (and thus happier), and the more we get out there and try new things the more apt we will be at obtaining success in these areas. But where he challenges is by teasing out these familiar ideas (most notably in the portions that talk about self versus other focus) using diagrams and illustrations that help the ideas make sense in practical terms.
One of the book's major anchors (as far as the thought process) is the way it connects our modern shift to wanting more (modern consumption) to the old paradigm that prioritizes food and safety as primary in both ancient and relatively recent history. Happiness is thus, in a way, a more pertinent question for us in the modern age given the re-orientation of the way we live our lives in much of the world (which correlates with the idea that the portion of our brain that can contemplate happiness is also relatively modern). This is not true for all of course, but it is likely true for the vast portions of the books audience. And here-in lies a part of the book's weakness. It doesn't push far enough to cross these boundaries between the affluent and the less than affluent, and in doing so doesn't do enough to divert us from keeping "have" as our end goal.
What did I take away from this book that was helpful? It allowed me to see the connection between doing first (so as to show that I can do it) and wanting to do something second. This of course has everything to do with what motivates us, and motivation can be a powerful tool. But too often we try to force ourselves to want to do something far before we actually show ourselves we can do it, which leads to a disproportioned sense of failure on a number of levels.
I also found the self/others equation helpful, which is closely connected to how we govern our time.
Not everyone is likely to agree, but I also resonated with his idea of never retiring. The more we position ourselves to have something productive to give ourselves to, the happier we become. It is about finding that balance between what feeds us and what we can give outward in return, and this dance is a part of what gives us our identity well in to our old age. And of course the other part of the discussion that rolls in to this is the parts that deal with how we measure success. If it is all about gaining and gaining more until we are satisfied we will never be happy. But if it is less about having lots of money and the grand home (etc, etc), then we can have room to navigate the stuff that feeds us and that allows us to give outwards (from our talents and abilities).
Final analysis: Easy to read, well organized, some good stuff to say about how we orient our lives, but limited ways of dealing with the ultimate motivation for how we live our lives in particular ways (the how, the why and the what of living).