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Abandoned
We all have secrets, and after thirty years Mike Riley’s secret has come back to haunt him, literally. He’s gone back to the farmhouse he knew as a child, only to find the ghost of his brother, Patrick, waiting for him. It’s not enough that furniture mysteriously moves around the house, paintings gossip on walls and rats conspire to kill. But now Patrick’s ghost wants him dead as well. In time, Mike Riley will come to know the meaning of brotherly love, but not until he learns to let go of his past and accept the dirty truth about Patrick. Only then will he know the true horrors of being—abandoned.
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First published January 1, 2004
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About the author
Dana E. Donovan
26 books30 followersDana Donovan grew up in New England where folklore and superstitions can mold a town’s history as much as its people. He exploits that phenomenon in all his books, perpetuating the enigma of small town life and the belief in all that dies is not dead.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
May 19, 2015
[Edit: was just talking about this book again and got mad about it, so I'm editing in a few thoughts I was too incensed to remember to put in here originally.]
Where do I start? I went into this knowing that it was self-published and that I wasn't going to really enjoy it. It was... worse than I was expecting? I mean, the idea was sort of there. Kind of. It wasn't fleshed out, and there were a few holes. The writing was alright. But it was very clear that it was self-published. It was almost more of a cautionary tale for making sure you go through drafts, plural, before publishing. Let me put it this way...
There were moments when reading this book that I thought "Oh, well, this author isn't so bad." But then, far outweighing those moments, were moments and scenes and chapters where I felt like he was largely losing the voice of the story and of the characters, and didn't really know himself where he was going. There is a ghost of a 7-year-old, but he alternates between seeming like a middle-aged demon and Casper the Friendly Ghost. I couldn't figure him out. Even when the character was alive, and a child he didn't talk like a child most of the time. Instead, he said things like "Not as sweet as yo' ass, Grandpa," when asked if he liked the taste of well water? I mean, FFS.
Some of the plot points bordered and then fell over the line of ridiculous. Like climbing the fence on top of a skyscraper to get a damn hat. Or .
Maybe it can be argued that what the author was going for was an unreliable narrator. And I think it would have worked if it had been executed in a more convincing manner. Instead, the main character spent 80% of the book seeming like an idiot. So by the time we got toward the end where it could be argued he's unreliable, he just seems like an even bigger idiot. And the end wasn't a surprise at all. It was telegraphed the entire book.
And don't get me started on how big of an idiot the female character was made out to be. OH GOD YOU'RE CLIMBING A FENCE ON TOP OF A SKYSCRAPER AND YOU COULD POSSIBLY KILL YOURSELF BUT MOTHER OF GOD SAVE MY HAT. Also, what f**king idiot acts like it's no big deal to Run, girl. Run far. [Edit: Not to mention the whole forgiving him for trying to kill her by BURNING HER ALIVE IN HER HOUSE. Fuck spoilers. See this ridiculousness.]
The love interest story line was pointless and underdeveloped. [Edit: seriously, the few sex scenes were non-scenes and so awkward. As my friend Sarah is quick to point out, the author refers to a full-grown man's penis as a "curious turtle" and "Johnny on the spot." I felt violated the whole times. Also, idiot main character? You knew the girl for like 2 months one summer when you were a kid. That a "childhood sweetheart" does not make. It was some weird nostalgic lust at first sight at best, and the whole thing was very off putting.] There were countless plot points and pieces of characterization that went nowhere for no reason. Not until toward the VERY END does the reader find out why the main character suddenly showed up in whatever town this took place in (I don't care) with a sack full of money.
[Edit: HOW DID I NEGLECT TO MENTION THE DOG THAT LITERALLY UNDERSTOOD ENGLISH AND BARKED ONCE FOR YES.]
[Edit: Okay, the drunk driving bit toward the end. Spoilers and whatever: this idiot is drinking, like, whiskey and getting shitfaced and driving around. At this point the cops are on to him, and he sharing the freaking bottle with his brother-ghost. The ghost is taking fucking swigs off the bottle and it's going right through him. It was like a mix between the uncles eating in Casper The Friendly Ghost movie with Christina Ricci, and the moment in Fight Club when you find out Tyler isn't real. More the former than the latter. How dare I compare the latter to this book, but there you go. I think I'm on to something with the Casper thing. How could it not be inspiration? Seriously. It was completely ridiculous and I think there was a wreck and that's how he ended up in the hospital but not dead but I can't remember nor do I care. Ugh.]
The ONLY thing I kind of enjoyed about this book was the twist regarding how the little brother died. It's a shame that twist couldn't be part of a better book.
It's pretty clear it wasn't really edited except for some light proofreading (and even that is doubtful that it was done by a professional). The story wasn't well developed, and it was just disappointing. Don't read this book unless it's published again after a major revision.
Where do I start? I went into this knowing that it was self-published and that I wasn't going to really enjoy it. It was... worse than I was expecting? I mean, the idea was sort of there. Kind of. It wasn't fleshed out, and there were a few holes. The writing was alright. But it was very clear that it was self-published. It was almost more of a cautionary tale for making sure you go through drafts, plural, before publishing. Let me put it this way...
There were moments when reading this book that I thought "Oh, well, this author isn't so bad." But then, far outweighing those moments, were moments and scenes and chapters where I felt like he was largely losing the voice of the story and of the characters, and didn't really know himself where he was going. There is a ghost of a 7-year-old, but he alternates between seeming like a middle-aged demon and Casper the Friendly Ghost. I couldn't figure him out. Even when the character was alive, and a child he didn't talk like a child most of the time. Instead, he said things like "Not as sweet as yo' ass, Grandpa," when asked if he liked the taste of well water? I mean, FFS.
Some of the plot points bordered and then fell over the line of ridiculous. Like climbing the fence on top of a skyscraper to get a damn hat. Or .
Maybe it can be argued that what the author was going for was an unreliable narrator. And I think it would have worked if it had been executed in a more convincing manner. Instead, the main character spent 80% of the book seeming like an idiot. So by the time we got toward the end where it could be argued he's unreliable, he just seems like an even bigger idiot. And the end wasn't a surprise at all. It was telegraphed the entire book.
And don't get me started on how big of an idiot the female character was made out to be. OH GOD YOU'RE CLIMBING A FENCE ON TOP OF A SKYSCRAPER AND YOU COULD POSSIBLY KILL YOURSELF BUT MOTHER OF GOD SAVE MY HAT. Also, what f**king idiot acts like it's no big deal to Run, girl. Run far. [Edit: Not to mention the whole forgiving him for trying to kill her by BURNING HER ALIVE IN HER HOUSE. Fuck spoilers. See this ridiculousness.]
The love interest story line was pointless and underdeveloped. [Edit: seriously, the few sex scenes were non-scenes and so awkward. As my friend Sarah is quick to point out, the author refers to a full-grown man's penis as a "curious turtle" and "Johnny on the spot." I felt violated the whole times. Also, idiot main character? You knew the girl for like 2 months one summer when you were a kid. That a "childhood sweetheart" does not make. It was some weird nostalgic lust at first sight at best, and the whole thing was very off putting.] There were countless plot points and pieces of characterization that went nowhere for no reason. Not until toward the VERY END does the reader find out why the main character suddenly showed up in whatever town this took place in (I don't care) with a sack full of money.
[Edit: HOW DID I NEGLECT TO MENTION THE DOG THAT LITERALLY UNDERSTOOD ENGLISH AND BARKED ONCE FOR YES.]
[Edit: Okay, the drunk driving bit toward the end. Spoilers and whatever: this idiot is drinking, like, whiskey and getting shitfaced and driving around. At this point the cops are on to him, and he sharing the freaking bottle with his brother-ghost. The ghost is taking fucking swigs off the bottle and it's going right through him. It was like a mix between the uncles eating in Casper The Friendly Ghost movie with Christina Ricci, and the moment in Fight Club when you find out Tyler isn't real. More the former than the latter. How dare I compare the latter to this book, but there you go. I think I'm on to something with the Casper thing. How could it not be inspiration? Seriously. It was completely ridiculous and I think there was a wreck and that's how he ended up in the hospital but not dead but I can't remember nor do I care. Ugh.]
The ONLY thing I kind of enjoyed about this book was the twist regarding how the little brother died. It's a shame that twist couldn't be part of a better book.
It's pretty clear it wasn't really edited except for some light proofreading (and even that is doubtful that it was done by a professional). The story wasn't well developed, and it was just disappointing. Don't read this book unless it's published again after a major revision.
May 19, 2015
[EDIT: I wish I could pick zero stars. This book was written by a middle aged man, and was not his first book. He should know better than ... nearly everything about this book, and for the love of god, he called a fucking penis a CURIOUS TURTLE. "I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Save yourselves.]
Maybe more like 1.5?
Here's the thing. I got into this knowing it was self-published. I was trying to read something non-romantic because I felt like I'd had a little too much of that lately, and I found this one through a post on Query Shark. I wasn't sure why a publisher hadn't picked it up AND I think there are plenty of good reasons to self-publish, and it was $3.99 and fit the bill of what I was after, so what the hell, right?
You guys. This book is why self-publishing doesn't get taken seriously. The cover was bad, but whatever. But it NEEDED an editor, badly.
It wasn't the normal grammar and punctuation stuff--that was actually pretty good. But this read like a first draft. I felt like the author kept slipping out of the voice they tried to establish. The time period didn't make a whole lot of sense. (Supposedly, the characters were kids in 1973, but it seemed like it should've been set in the 50's or 60's, and the present should be pre-2000's.) There were several times where the author switched from first to second person, like the narrator was addressing the reader, and it was jarring and weird. I think it was usually in a failed attempt at humor. The narrator was a grown man, but there were many times where the voice changed, and I was just like, "Nope. This is totally a woman, and probably a young woman, writing this." And anything that involved sex or penises was just SO AWKWARD. In one scene, the guy's penis was called "Johnny on the spot" (WTF), and in a Charlaine Harris-level moment of cringe-inducing writing, the narrator looks down to make sure his penis (a word that is NEVER used, BTW) wasn't sticking out of his shorts "like a curious turtle." How am I supposed to take a book seriously that refers to a full-grown human man dick as a CURIOUS TURTLE?!?!
But I tried to get past it. Unfortunately, there were just too many other issues. A pretty main character is a dog that turns up out of nowhere (never explained) and consistently barks once for yes to the guy. Has this author ever owned a dog? That is so not how it works.
The love interest (yeah, despite my best efforts, there was one) was decently written except for one EXTREMELY bizarre scene involving a hat. I can't ... you'd have to read it.
The narrator is skeptical about the whole haunted house thing, which is good. I would expect that. But the denial continues way past a reasonable point, where there have been experiences that are absolutely undeniably paranormal, and he's still like, "Hurr, I don't know ..." That all kind of dragged for me.
Patrick (the dead little brother) was all over the place. Sometimes he was like a little kid, sometimes he was like a jaded adult, sometimes he was like a demon. I didn't get what was going on with him at all, and his motivations were as muddled as his personality.
In a way, the problem with Patrick was the problem with the whole book--it's like it didn't know what it wanted to be. I don't know that I thought I was getting a horror novel, per se, but I thought it was at least a paranormal suspense. And parts of it were like that. Parts were even somewhat horror-esque, but then it would try to be a coming of age story, or funny, or a murder mystery, and it was confusing. I finally realized that the author had no real idea of what she was writing, and then I guess it switched from confusing to just sort of exhausting. I was so ready for this book to be over when I finally finished it (mostly out of some combination of OCD and stubbornness).
So for all of its problems, why 1.5 to 2 stars, instead of one or zero? Well, it did have potential. And really, the ending was decent. With an editor and some SERIOUS rewriting, this could really be pretty good. It seemed like the author had a more clear vision of the beginning of the book and kind of lost it as she went. The beginning was great though--interesting characters (including minor characters), great sense of place (I could picture all of it vividly), and really, genuinely creepy at first. If it had kept going like that through the whole book, it would've been impressive. I'd really like to read this again if she ever puts out an updated, edited version, to see how it improves. But as of right now, as is, I can't really recommend it for $3.99.
Maybe more like 1.5?
Here's the thing. I got into this knowing it was self-published. I was trying to read something non-romantic because I felt like I'd had a little too much of that lately, and I found this one through a post on Query Shark. I wasn't sure why a publisher hadn't picked it up AND I think there are plenty of good reasons to self-publish, and it was $3.99 and fit the bill of what I was after, so what the hell, right?
You guys. This book is why self-publishing doesn't get taken seriously. The cover was bad, but whatever. But it NEEDED an editor, badly.
It wasn't the normal grammar and punctuation stuff--that was actually pretty good. But this read like a first draft. I felt like the author kept slipping out of the voice they tried to establish. The time period didn't make a whole lot of sense. (Supposedly, the characters were kids in 1973, but it seemed like it should've been set in the 50's or 60's, and the present should be pre-2000's.) There were several times where the author switched from first to second person, like the narrator was addressing the reader, and it was jarring and weird. I think it was usually in a failed attempt at humor. The narrator was a grown man, but there were many times where the voice changed, and I was just like, "Nope. This is totally a woman, and probably a young woman, writing this." And anything that involved sex or penises was just SO AWKWARD. In one scene, the guy's penis was called "Johnny on the spot" (WTF), and in a Charlaine Harris-level moment of cringe-inducing writing, the narrator looks down to make sure his penis (a word that is NEVER used, BTW) wasn't sticking out of his shorts "like a curious turtle." How am I supposed to take a book seriously that refers to a full-grown human man dick as a CURIOUS TURTLE?!?!
But I tried to get past it. Unfortunately, there were just too many other issues. A pretty main character is a dog that turns up out of nowhere (never explained) and consistently barks once for yes to the guy. Has this author ever owned a dog? That is so not how it works.
The love interest (yeah, despite my best efforts, there was one) was decently written except for one EXTREMELY bizarre scene involving a hat. I can't ... you'd have to read it.
The narrator is skeptical about the whole haunted house thing, which is good. I would expect that. But the denial continues way past a reasonable point, where there have been experiences that are absolutely undeniably paranormal, and he's still like, "Hurr, I don't know ..." That all kind of dragged for me.
Patrick (the dead little brother) was all over the place. Sometimes he was like a little kid, sometimes he was like a jaded adult, sometimes he was like a demon. I didn't get what was going on with him at all, and his motivations were as muddled as his personality.
In a way, the problem with Patrick was the problem with the whole book--it's like it didn't know what it wanted to be. I don't know that I thought I was getting a horror novel, per se, but I thought it was at least a paranormal suspense. And parts of it were like that. Parts were even somewhat horror-esque, but then it would try to be a coming of age story, or funny, or a murder mystery, and it was confusing. I finally realized that the author had no real idea of what she was writing, and then I guess it switched from confusing to just sort of exhausting. I was so ready for this book to be over when I finally finished it (mostly out of some combination of OCD and stubbornness).
So for all of its problems, why 1.5 to 2 stars, instead of one or zero? Well, it did have potential. And really, the ending was decent. With an editor and some SERIOUS rewriting, this could really be pretty good. It seemed like the author had a more clear vision of the beginning of the book and kind of lost it as she went. The beginning was great though--interesting characters (including minor characters), great sense of place (I could picture all of it vividly), and really, genuinely creepy at first. If it had kept going like that through the whole book, it would've been impressive. I'd really like to read this again if she ever puts out an updated, edited version, to see how it improves. But as of right now, as is, I can't really recommend it for $3.99.
March 14, 2017
Has a good deal of swearing, but a good story.
January 23, 2014
This is THE BEST ghost story I have read in a very, very long time!!!! Highly recommend! And, there was a bonus in that two characters from her other books make an appearance in this one! AWESOME READ!
December 29, 2014
I thought I had the end to this story figured out I was just wondering how Dana was going to write it but then he threw in a curve and then another. I love the way Dana tells a story. He is very creative and keeps you guessing right to the end. Great ghost story.
July 3, 2012
Interesting little ghostie story
May 7, 2013
OK little ghost story. Started out pretty good then got a little crazy and some what silly. Could'nt put it down then could'nt wait to see how it ended.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews