He Said, She Said: Candid Conversations About the Making of a Great Marriage

by Bill Gillham, Anabel Gillham

Fluent narrative for interpersonal affairs in the world of marriage

244 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1995

About the author

Upon graduating from Poteau, Oklahoma High School I joined the navy. History states that the atomic bomb caused the Japanese to surrender, but mom always claimed they’d heard I was coming. After the war I followed Anabel Hoyle to college which was a shrewd move for two reasons. I married her and the tuition was paid by the G. I. Bill (your tax dollars at work). Then came in random selection: grad school, four sons, a public school teacher/administrator/university professor career, all in Oklahoma.

The Holy Spirit targeted my heart in 1957 while watching the first nationally televised Billy Graham Crusade. I responded to Brother Billy’s invitation to "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and be saved." My experience was not accompanied by bells and whistles, so it was five years before God gave me assurance of my salvation through reading 1 John 5:11-13. Meanwhile I zealously "worked for God" according to the tradition of my elders. But, God wanted to teach me that although I meant well, this was not His plan. I was not to live my life for Christ, but to trust Christ in me to express His life through me, by faith. God accomplished this by allowing me to have a major career failure.

I'd received my doctorate from Oklahoma State University in 1969 to become a psychology professor at Southeastern OSU. Hoowee! Here comes DOCTOR Gillham! I thought I was such a hot dog that McDonald’s didn’t have enough mustard to cover me. But, God quickly let Satan take the wind out of my sails by making my lecture notes "turn to Chinese" in front of my class. "Help!" I sent up a 911 prayer, but got Gods voice mail "I’ve gone to Mars today please leave a message and." It was horrible. And it kept happening! My self-esteem was down the toilet. But, God was at work. These failures caused me to abandon trusting in myself. The burden was transferred to Jesus (Ps. 55:22)! I learned that Christ lives in me to face life for me (Jn. 15:5)! Whew! What a relief! When a campus organization later selected me as "Professor of the Year," I received it as a tribute to Jesus, not to me.

That’s what our ministry is about. Trusting Christ to express His overcoming life through you is normal Christianity, but sad to say, its not the normal Christians experience.