Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage: 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance

by Greg Smalley, Erin Smalley, Gary Chapman (Foreword)

Every couple who wants a happy marriage will appreciate the revitalizing secrets in Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage . In it, Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley explore the traits of a healthy and thriving marriage.

Based on research of thousands of strong couples across the country, the twelve essential elements outlined are not only biblically based; they also chart a course for a romantic adventure that will last a lifetime.

With practical advice and stories from their own marriage and counseling experiences, Greg and Erin guide couples to find ways to work around roadblocks in their current relationship and to intentionally create communication patterns that will take them to emotionally safe places.

Yes, marriage can have its twists and turns. But the detours don’t necessarily have to lead couples off course. Greg and Erin help couples map out a journey for their marriages so that they can enjoy the passionate and intimate relationship that God has promised.

Genres: Marriage, Audiobook, Christian Non Fiction, Faith, Nonfiction

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2016

Reviews

[Shirley Bernard · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful read to strengthen your marriage and love your spouse selflessly!! Many relationship transforming ideas! This book will encourage you whether you have been married for a day or 50 years!

[Gina Maggard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book to every married couple.
I took several notes to share with my husband.
I thoroughly enjoyed all the stories.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage
12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance
By Dr. Greg & Erin Smalley
ISBN:978-1-58997-850-8
Family & Relationships
Marriage & Long Term Relationships
Retails for $19.99

"Marriage is a battle, but it's a battle against selfishness, not your spouse."

Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage is a Focus Family book that all married couples that desire a happy marriage should read. The author and his wife, Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley share many personal experiences and professional counsel throughout, on how to have a marriage centered around true love. There are romance secrets included and you're encouraged to reevaluate your marriage by seeking God's love with open hearts.

I thought this book was very light-hearted and fun to read. Greg and Erin's little shared experiences kept the story interesting. I feel like more than anything the tips listed are perfect for newlyweds to learn. Marriage is hard work, but not hard if you unselfishly put God and your spouse first and learn to follow the biblical outlines suggested.

This book has a unique format and each section was fairly short. I read the whole book in a couple of hours. Cover design is clean and neat. Very appealing book.

As far as the "secret" to a great marriage?
"Honoring your spouse is the key to maintaining a committed, love-filled marriage."

*FTC DISCLAIMER: This book was provided complimentary of Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for my review.*

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short excerpt from Netgalley. Excellent biblical recommendations for a successful and loving marriage.

[Alexandria Irwin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Generally this book has some pretty good insight into how to have a better marriage and communicate with your spouse. The writer is interesting and funny at times, so even though it's not necessarily a page turner, it's not difficult to enjoy.

I like how it helped me understand a man's perspective a little more, since most of it is written by a man. The love/marriage quotes placed throughout were also good.

At the same time, I didn't agree with everything and he does talk a little like marriage has a "one size fits all" solution. The things that work in his marriage don't necessarily work for everyone. I did agree with most of it, however and it definitely can't hurt to read a book like this if you're married.

My mom got it for me right after I got engaged, and then asked if I had read it a little while later. I hadn't because I wasn't married yet, and if I would have read it beforehand, I think I would've forgotten much of it by the time it was applicable. I liked reading it when I was actually married because I could identify similar situations in my own marriage, and improve them.

What can I apply to my life from this book? Two parts of it that I remember the most are 1) his story about asking his wife if he could help and 2) his encouragement to validate your spouse's feelings.

[Katey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so very helpful at making me aware of some things in marriage that we tend to forget when times get tough. We all married this person for a reason in the beginning. Some greater power brought us together in the first place. We all need to read this and remember to get out of our own way so we can allow God to rule our marriages!

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gives great insight for why simple conversations can get very complicated. Our past shades our perception, though often inaccurate, we still need to acknowledge and understand why and how to get beyond that, whilst the marriage remains in tact.

[Katie Carmack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read!

As a young newly wed I am so grateful to have read this and to be able to apply these things so early on!

[Rebekah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book!

[Dustin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good marriage book and a reminder to work through problems no matter how big. Remembering every person is different but with love, respect and a willingness to work it’ll all turn out.

[Jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some solid advice on marriage and life in general.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good and encouraging to have a better marriage.

[Jenni Schafran · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book on marriage. Such good practical advice. I highly recommend it.

[Jessica Bagwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was gifted to me, and truthfully, I found some good tips in here. There are things that I'm not ready to accept for my marriage but maybe one day.

[Karen Roberts · Rating 3 out of 5]

Greg and Erin Smalley encourage couples to examine their understanding of marriage in light of God's plan for their marriage.

The Smalleys share plots from movies and television programs, their struggles, and other couples' marriage experiences to provide practical tips for the twists and turns, uphill and downhill through the adventure of marriage.

This book caused me to rethink my definition of spiritual leadership. Some women may struggle with an unrealistic definition of spiritual leadership. Their expectations may be just short of a husband who leads her like a pastor might lead his congregation.

"I want to challenge each woman to broaden her definition of what it means to be a spiritual leader and to notice all the ways that her husband loves and cares for his family. ... Certain gifts help men lead the family toward God, using His methods of humility and grace." (pp. 40-41)

He then, lists the ways men lead their families, giving Scriptural references by each leadership trait.

I thought it was interesting that the 12 "secrets" were action verbs. Love acts; love is not passive.

At the end of each chapter, readers are encouraged to visit the website for the book, crazylittlethingcalledmarriage.com, for date night tips based on the theme of the chapter.

Formulas, lists, and abundant quotes fill the chapters with poignant thoughts. Greg Smalley's humor and pranks demonstrate his delight in marriage, friendship, parenting, and life. For example, he thought their 15-year marriage had "come full circle" when Erin took him on a hike in Hawaii and ended up at the waterfall they found on their honeymoon. In spite of the "No Swimming" sign, she jumped into the water, swam around and invited him to jump in. On their honeymoon, Greg had defied the sign and jumped in, much to the horror of Erin.

"Just as the ancient Israelites had needed to get past the massive walls of Jericho to enter their promised land, I guess we needed to get past a waterfall." (p. 259)

I struggle to understand how Erin disobeying the "No Swimming" sign like Greg did on their honeymoon demonstrates that their marriage had improved.

I was intrigued by the title of this book, Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage ... 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance.

Keith and I have been married for 45 years, and marriage is a "big thing" to us. A 45-year love-filled marriage takes the practical steps that Greg and Erin Smalley have shared, but it takes more than these "secrets." It takes a husband and wife living for God and for each other.

A love-filled, lifelong marriage, like a love-filled Christian walk, takes dying to self and living and loving for God and each other.

A love-filled, lifelong marriage is a picture of Christ's love for His bride, the church.

Marriage is a shadow of big things to come.

Tyndale House Publishers provided me with a free copy of this book for my honest review.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage: 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance" by Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley is the newest edition in the many offerings from Focus on the Family: Focus on Marriage resources designed to help strengthen and nurture marriage relationships. With marriage under attack from so many influences, both outside and inside the relationship, it's vital for all married and engaged couples to focus on marriage, strengthening it to help you navigate all kinds of challenges. In this book, the Smalleys combine solid Biblical teaching and personal stories to bring the reader 12 secrets, 12 truths, 12 ways to help fortify your marriage and help it last a lifetime. These truths include help understanding communication, honoring one another, serving one another, and seeking God above all.

While at first glance, these 12 secrets seem fairly basic. However, the more I got into the book, the more I realized just how much better I can do. Even being married for nearly 13 years, there are still so many ways I can improve and make my own marriage better. These may seem like simple techniques and insights to some, but they are highly valuable insights that would benefit many marriages, from those just starting out to those that have many years behind them.

I was truly blown away by this book and the insights that were offered. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for ways to bring some fresh insight and fresh perspective in your marriage journey.

Just as Joshua challenged his people to "choose this day whom you will serve" (Joshua 24:15), so we need to choose, every day, to pursue a great marriage. We need to choose intentionality over passivity...Loving thoughts over self-centered thoughts...Loving actions over self-serving ones. And in the process of keeping your commitments and acting in love, you will find yourselves enjoying the true Promised Land Marriage. (p.258)

(I’ve received this complimentary book from Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for a review. A positive review was not required and the views expressed in my review are strictly my own.)

[Kerrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ahh, another marriage advice book. The reason that I enjoy these books so much is actually because my marriage has been really good for the past couple of years (I’ve been married for 2 1/2 years), and by reading these types of advice books, I am able to get ideas on how to keep up that successful marriage vibe. I don’t think that we need to read marriage advice books only when our marriages or relationships are struggling, I think that it’s best to read these types of books when you know that you and your spouse are doing well. This way, when you have issues in your marriage, you have the tools to fix it instead of taking so much time to figure out how to create that successful marriage again.

Being married is hard, especially when you include kids in the mix, it can be a real challenge. This book talks about all the little things and sometimes big ways that you can keep your romance shining bright in your marriage through out the years.

Some of the examples from this book about how you can avoid big issues in your marriage include:

Avoiding “Chore wars”

Realizing that in your marriage, the small stuff can sometimes be the big stuff.

Also, you should quit striving to get your spouse to love you, and instead strive to love your spouse more.

This book teaches us that marriage is not all about “me”, and that there are other more spiritual reasons behind marriage. I thought this book was insightful, fun, and entertaining to read. Not only that but it gave me ideas to keep my marriage fresh and on track, and if it ever derails I have the tools to get it back to where it needs to be. I give this book 5 out of 5 stars.

[Yvie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every couple who wants a happy marriage will appreciate the revitalizing secrets in Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage. In it, Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley explore the traits of a healthy and thriving marriage. Based on research of thousands of strong couples across the country, the twelve essential elements outlined are not only biblically based; they also chart a course for a romantic adventure that will last a lifetime. With practical advice and stories from their own marriage and counseling experiences, Greg and Erin guide couples to find ways to work around roadblocks in their current relationship and to intentionally create communication patterns that will take them to emotionally safe places. Yes, marriage can have its twists and turns. But the detours don’t necessarily have to lead couples off course. Greg and Erin help couples map out a journey for their marriages so that they can enjoy the passionate and intimate relationship that God has promised.


While the author is a little goofy, I love how it lightens up such a serious subject. Husband and wife team up to bring both perspectives to this book, and they keep it real. The suggestions are do-able, the scenarios happen everyday, and you've probably experienced (or known someone who has experienced) every one of them. Pop culture references are mixed with biblical scripture to make the book relatable. All in all, great suggestions for the newlywed and golden couples alike, and a good one to re-read when times get tight.

I received this in exchange for an honest review.

[Jonathan Beigle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had its ups and downs for me. At times I really liked it, and other times I was bored and could learn nothing from it. The Smalleys walk through their marriage and talk about what they have learned in order to better understand each other and grow closer to each other. Interesting to me was that the Smalleys have had very similar "experiences" (aka arguments) that my wife and I have had so many things I found engaging. I thought the chapters on communication and fighting for peace were very good. Other times, I felt like the book only quoted other people's work and didn't feel original.

My favorite quotes from the book:
p. 10 - "Sacrifice is what love looks like. It's giving up something you value (your time, money, comfort, desires) for the sake of someone else whom you consider to have a greater value."
p. 80 - "Relationship Friction + Insight = Intimacy Information .... Intimacy Information + Healthy Communication = Happy Marriage
p. 86 - "When conflict turns to combat, no one wins."
p. 98 - "Her feelings are her feelings - they're neither right nor wrong, good nor bad - they are the voice of her heart."
p. 104 - (Quoting John Gottman) - "'Without the fundamental believe that your spouse is worthy of honor and respect, where is the basis for any kind of rewarding relationship.'"

[Mazzou B · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another book from Focus on the Family and authors Greg and Erin Smalley, Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage is just what you need for your marriage!
I recommend this book for newly-married couples since this book is full of basic and practical advice. I loved how the authors told stories and examples from their own marriage to help explain their Biblical points. This was quite an easy and interesting read. Personally and rather surprisingly, I didn't learn as much from it as the authors' previous book Ready To Wed! Also, I am not even married yet but found the information within this new book a little too basic! That is why I recommend it for newly married (especially young) couples. I must say that the book is well organized and easy to read and study alone or with others. One also can't help but learn from the Biblical truths presented. But I would hope that the reader would go on to read other, more profound books on marriage.
I received this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book from the very start. This is not just a how to be happy book it is the true life accounts of a couple figuring it out. I was able to relate to some of their disagreements and the way each were feeling. I could easily realty to all of the situations and was able to gain insight from every chaper, some things were more reminders others were a new way to look at a situation. I would recommend this book to all couples that feel like they could deepen their connect to each other.

[Drew · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best by far! I cant emphasize enough how practical this book is to any newly weds or any one engaged. 2 writers, 12 traits most commonly found in healthy marriages, and a ton of date ideas at the end of each chapter. Marriage is very doable. It can also be successful if the two people are willing to learn and put good habits into practice. Get it, it's an easy read!

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from a Goodreads giveaway. There are a lot of books out with marriage advice and this one has some good tidbits of information.

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good Biblical principles for marriage. Not earth shattering, but good reminders.

[Afiketchi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Currently rereading! Such beautiful insight.

2nd reread was even better than the first. I love all the insights here. These 12 habits help me shape my mind as I navigate marriage