You Were Not Born to Suffer: Overcome Fear, Insecurity and Depression and Love Yourself Back to Happiness, Confidence and Peace

by Blake D. Bauer

Take charge of your health, happiness, and inner peace with this authoritative guide on treating yourself with kindness, acceptance, and compassion
 
In this life-changing book, Blake Bauer explains why depression, addiction, physical illness, unfulfilling work, and relationship problems are caused by years of hiding your true emotions, denying your life purpose, and living in fear. Having already helped thousands of people find lasting solutions that conventional medicine, psychiatry, or religion couldn't offer, You Were Not Born to Suffer will show you how to free yourself from these destructive thoughts, habits, and situations that keep you from being happy and well.

In simple practical steps you'll learn how to slow down and create a healthier relationship to yourself that is based on acceptance, kindness, honesty, and self-worth. You'll also find out how to transform the stress, anxiety, and insecurity that result from constantly trying to please others into lasting confidence, self-respect, and inner peace.

Whether it's negative thinking, financial worry, loneliness, guilt, or self-doubt that's holding you back, Blake Bauer's words will move you to take better care of yourself, heal old pain, and courageously move forward. If you're ready to enjoy your life, feel passionate about your work, and create fulfilling relationships, this book will support you to live authentically, love wholeheartedly, and finally value yourself enough to put everyday health and happiness at the center of your life.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Psychology, Health, Personal Development

352 pages, Paperback

First published November 14, 2012

Reviews

[Jenn S · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've always said that life doesn't come with an instruction manual - but that's clearly because I hadn't heard about this book yet. In a previous post, I mentioned that this book reads like a manual and up until the very end, it does. There is a chapter that covers almost every aspect of life that may cause suffering and/or discomfort. I went to town highlighting the statements that applied to me and helpful reminders for the future. I'll definitely be revisiting this one an a case-by-case basis. The book also includes affirmations and questions that can be used as journal prompts! Highly recommend this.

[Toyin Spades · Rating 4 out of 5]

​This book spoke to my soul! I highlighted almost every single page on my Kindle as Blake was speaking truths that I knew but had forgotten.

The sub-title of this book is “how to overcome fear, insecurity and depression and lobe yourself back to happiness, confidence and peace.”

He gives insight into his own life and his struggle with deep rooted insecurities. He shows how the reader can be true to her/himself and actually love oneself practically and effectively.

This book is a must read for anyone who is on the path of self discovery and learning how to accept/ love themselves.

Rating: 4.5/5

Favourite Quote: “We haven’t cultivated a strong enough faith or trust in ourselves, in life, or in the universe to wholeheartedly be ourselves and go after what we want and love. As a result, most of us just settle for less than we’re worthy and capable of, and then we suffer for it. But life doesn’t have to be this way.”

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

*thank you to Netgalley, Blake D. Bauer and Watkins Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*


3 stars.

This is a reprint of the original and it has been updated and rereleased. I have not read the previous book so I'm not sure how it differs, but I did like this one well enough. I can't help but think that it could have been shortened but that could be just me. I personally find books like this to be easier and more interesting if they weren't so much like a text book. If the layout was more 'fun' I would find it more interesting as I did find my mind drifting at times while reading this. But again that's just me and others may prefer text book format. Still, it contained helpful advice.

[Mansi Chhari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay so it was my 1st book which I read
This is a self help book which i highly recommend to who have stuck somewhere and want to come out this book is good for beginners

[Mike Paulsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible book, with a built in workbook, which relieves the barriers of receiving self love and and teaches how to move forward unconditionally. This book was so life changing for me, I attended the author, Blake Bauer’s retreat, on the same topic: Unconditional Self Love Mastery. Outstanding!

[T Love · Rating 5 out of 5]

This may be the ONLY book one needs to find true happiness. It’s not often I say that. I found You Were Not Born to Suffer to be inspiring, educational, captivating, truthful and not complicated or confusing at all. It is easy to understand and truly guides you finding the truth within yourself. The questions are straight-forward and thought provoking which leads one to understand themselves a whole lot better and make the necessary shifts to change their life, making decisions based on their truth. The truth of who they are. It is by far one of the most well written, easy to understand, easy to put into practice books I have read that will indeed change life quickly but with awareness. This book explains everything so very well – no question will be left unanswered. Highly recommended for everyone. Thanks to Blake Bauer for gifting the world with this work.

[Chels Ea · Rating 2 out of 5]

The premise of this book is good with some nice universal themes but unfortunately execution of the message is......not so good. Still reading and know already this won't earn more than 2-stars from me. While I have learnt some things from this book for the most part I felt like key messages are just repeated over and over again. I can't quite put my finger on why but somehow it just feels like a 300+ page introduction - no real substance with some affirmations thrown in. What really turned me off this book though was the chapter 'Self Respect' in which the author writes that in order to move on from sexual abuse, survivors should try and highlight the positive outcomes such as "the importance of expressing your feelings" ...okaaaaay.

[Vanessa Dias · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this book is a great option if you want to explore different layers of your own being and find out what aspects you need to heal in order to evolve and achieve a greater quality of life. To put it simply, this is not an only blah-blah-blah kind of book, it is actually a very practical one. The exercises will enhance your self-reflection and with that comes great personal power and self-confidence. I recommend you read it slowly, take one chapter at a time or read by themes that you feel guided to work on first. Due to the variety and complexity of its themes, you can surely expect changing results within yourself.

[Michelle Malsbury · Rating 2 out of 5]

Blake D. Bauer, Author
You Were Not Born To Suffer
Watkins Press, ISBN 978-1-78028-985-4
Non-Fiction –insecurity, depression, confidence, happiness, love, self-love, solutions
333 pages
January 2021 Review for Bookpleasures
Reviewer-Michelle Kaye Malsbury, BSBM, MM
Review
Blake D. Bauer, author of You Were Not Born To Suffer, is a specialist in alternative medicine/healing, meditation, and psychology. (2020, back cover) He is a well-known public speaker and teacher. He has overcome suffering and addiction and now shares those experiences with the world helping them to achieve increased mental, emotional, and physical health and wellbeing.
Bauer says that “Everything happens for a reason, especially health challenges of the mind and body.” (2020, p.36) Many of these challenges in life, according to the author, could have been lessened had we not been more into pleasing people than in caring for ourselves. He says this is happens because we are not being true to ourselves. Some numb themselves to this pain. Others simply ignore it. Doing so can cause anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, and frustration. (paraphrase, p. 46) Affirmations can assist us in overcoming these dead ends. Bauer offers steps to work though these affirmations and provides questions to assist in this process.
“Fear is the greatest obstacle in turning our unhealthy selfish tendencies into a form of healthy selfishness that first benefits us and then later benefits everyone we know and meet. Fear of hurting others, fear of owning the hurt we have caused, fear of being judged, fear of being rejected, fear of being vulnerable, fear of losing love, fear of losing support, fear of losing a partner, spouse, or friend…” (2020, p.69) Thus, suffice it to say that losing the fear can only make us more whole and happier. Doing that means we must find value in ourselves.
Finding our self-worth establishes self-love. Why is this so hard? “If you stop pretending to be something you are not, or to feel other than you do, then what? - If you allowed the world to see your darkness and your light, your vulnerability and your power, do you fear you’d end up alone? - It is ironic that we as human beings inevitably have to ask ourselves, How do I be myself?” (2020, p.90) To which Bauer said, “I found myself when asking this question.” (p.91)
So, do you know how to be yourself? I don’t intend to give away the whole book, but I hope to have made you curious enough to decide whether or not this book is for you.

[Marcy Thomas · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thanks to Netgalley for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

I’ve never been one to read much self help, but I thought I try and give it a go, but this was a bad example of one. I’ve always been critical of the nature of self help. Having read Help Me! by Marianne Power, it made me remember that no matter how good the intentions, it’s still a business at the end of the day, and there are some books out there that give some very damaging messages to very vulnerable people. Yes, there are some good one, and yes they can change people for the better, but I decided they weren’t for me. Yet, I still wanted to try another one, but this has put me off the genre all together.

I did get the idea that the author had good intentions, though. His personal journey and his realisation was touching, and I’m glad he turned his life around. Sadly, it doesn’t make the book better.

The message is repeated constantly. If you didn’t get the message in the first few pages then don’t worry, it will be repeated twenty more times just in case.

Also, for a self help novel, it didn’t have much substance. The minute he mentioned god or intelligent design I immediately turned off. If that’s all he offers I rather not learn more.

This might be promising, but the content never gives us much to chew on. I might have been the wrong person to review it, but hopefully it will help someone else.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

I usually enjoy this genre, but I really didn't care for the book. The author emphasizes how the reader is important for changing their circumstances and feelings, etc, and while he brings up some good points, he also misses the mark. First of all, the book is very centered on the self. I agree with the authors views that we can't treat others the way they deserve or kindly if we hate and ridicule ourselves, however, we are not an island. Our health and happiness is not completely dependent on our mindset and does rely on our relationships with others and the relationships we have with them. Of course, being happier and also loving ourselves can improve upon those, but we can't rely exclusively on ourselves for those things, not matter how much we want to. The author also takes a very secular approach, which really didn't resonate with me. Some of his points were valid throughout the book, but I feel like he generally took what worked for him and while I am great that he feels better, his advice certainly doesn't apply to everyone and may even do the opposite for those with mental health disorders. Again, I'm all for doing everything in ones power to improve their situation and outlook, but the author kind of gives the impression that if anyone is falling short in that area, it is their fault, when that isn't necessarily the case. and there are many factors that he doesn't take into account or shortsightedly jumps over.

[Lori Shriver · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recently, I've been reading the International Bestseller Your Were Not Born To Suffer: Overcome Fear, Insecurity and Depression and Love Yourself Back to Happiness, Confidence, and Peace.

The introduction opens up to functional sanity, self-love, world peace and you, and using the word of God.

I'm pretty task-oriented and occasionally struggle with not measuring up or being enough.

This quote by Nisargadatta Maharaj is a reminder of measures of satisfaction and enjoyment. “Once you realize that the road is the goal and that you are always on the road, not to reach a goal, but to enjoy its beauty and its wisdom, life ceases to be a task and becomes natural and simple, in itself an ecstasy.”

If you are a frequent visitor to my book blog you know I study and review war reads and am a firm believer in that connections to others are vital to our well-being. Viktor Franki, a Nazi concentration camp survivor, provides valuable insight about salvation being through love and knowing bliss though having nothing else.

What I took away from this book is we were not born to suffer, and that I need to be honest with myself and with others with no strings attached. The key affirmations that work best for me are I can feel good wherever I am and I do not need to be more, to do more, or have more, for others to love me.

[Jack Hunt · Rating 3 out of 5]

A pretty good introduction to the world of spirituality with a focus on acknowledging that the key to freedom is to love our authentic selves.

This idea of being our authentic self is a message that underpins the entire book and, according to Bauer, also underpins our entire life. Made a mistake? Because you weren’t acting authentic. Have an ED? You’re not your authentic self and are being influenced by external references.

Further to the contentious point above there are also a few other things that counter what I have read in other spiritual books or things I would consider a tad left field. Bauer raises the point that ego is good for us as it acts as a defensive shield that our ‘inner child’ has built. There is also a chapter on financial freedom where he literally says ‘money is love’ and ‘How much money we have is directly proportional to how free we are’ which definitely screams privilege.

Nonetheless, if you can look past the seemingly insensitive views and frequent mentioning of ‘God,’ I did actually quite enjoy this book with its insightful quotes, exercises and affirmations.

2.5 or 3/5

[Mollie · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was very good and is similar to ‘the untethered soul’ … it is very insightful and puts into perspective both our emotional pain and emotional needs, all centering on the love we owe ourselves to live a meaningful life. It was very inspiring and motivational with some beautiful quotes throughout the book. It also included many exercises that prompt you to look deeper within and question your own suffering and get to the root of negative emotions. Only problem is it’s a little too centered on ‘God’ for an atheist like me but the author does explain that he uses God as a term for life and the spirit so you don’t have to take the term as a religious one if you don’t want too. It was a little repetitive in parts as well but all in all very helpful and I’m glad I’ve read it, it’s given me a lot to think about in terms of self love and compassion.

[Prachi Singh · Rating 4 out of 5]

You Were Not Born To Suffer" was published in 2017 and became an international best seller. It is a manual for life. Its a perfect self- help book for those questioning where their life went wrong. Its a book that offers practical advice which will help you transform your insecurity into serenity. The introduction opens up to functional sanity, self-love, world peace and you, and using the word of God.
.
⚡In this book every chapters ends up with some practical questions and Key Affirmations which of course doesn't fails to make this book even more interesting. This book is an eye opener and I would recommend this book to those people who are in the path of self- discovery and the ones who want to learn how to love oneself.

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful read. As someone who started their spiritual journey within the past year, this book was a great gateway into rethinking my attitudes towards life and leading with love and compassion. Through this book I have learnt so much about myself and those around me and how any pain in our life ultimately comes down to a lack of self love. I find myself thinking about the lessons i have learnt from this book each and every day. It's brilliant. If you are interested in changing your mindset but find the likes of Eckhart Tolle a bit too confusing/overwhelming to begin with, this is a brilliant starting point, written in a user friendly way. I cant wait to further explore this journey and lead an authentic and compassionate life. Thank you Blake Bauer.

[Sunz · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I saw You Were Not Born to Suffer, I was caught by its title that bespeaks a truth about me. However, I found most of the contents nothing new, but still, it was a good read for me.

I appreciate the author's list of the things that come with our purpose in life. Some of them are:

1. Enjoying each day as much as possible in healthy ways, rather than self-destructive ones.
2. You also have to purge or heal all the emotions stored in your body from the past; like guilt, insecurity, fear, shame, anger, hurt, and sadness.
3. To create whatever you feel like from the love, truth, and inspiration you feel, whether this is art, a home, a business, a family, cooking or events. Here there is no right or wrong. No good or bad. No better than or less than. It’s simply what you want and what makes you come alive.

I finally found the words that will guide me each day to align with my true self. When my past hurt or pain visits my body, I let it be and read the list to remind me of the things that are more important.

What is more, the questions and affirmations at the end of every chapter added value to the time I spent reading the book. These parts of the book helped me internalize the things I've learned.

I recommend this book to those who have just started to read about suffering and awakening.

[Tara Brabazon · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is really not my bag. There are three red flags I have in response to these self / professional / personal development books.

The phrase 'self love'
Mentions of 'God', and
Affirmations.

This book has the triple red flags. If you need to reconnect with the notion that you are 'enough' - 'worthy' - and do not have to put up with other people's nonsense - then this is the book for you.

This is not the book for me.

[Joseph Moya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read! Was recommended by a friend and told me I would love it. Gives the reader a more self awareness look at life. It also gives the reader some exercises after each chapter with some affirmations.

[Sandra Cruz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good self-help book. Plenty of helpful tips and advice for living life fully.

My Book Review

[Anaïs Williame · Rating 1 out of 5]

I enjoyed the first chapters, but then, I realised that the book content was only a repetition of the same idea and my reading became tedious. I browsed through the rest of the chapters because I enjoyed the selection of quotes but it didn't bring me much in terms of self-help.

[Cozy Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good self help book with interactive journaling prompts . This author has extensive researched information that is sensible and helpful. If you have depression or have had you will find this immensley helpful. A good book to add to your library.

[Pat · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most important book I've ever read. If you're a people pleaser by nature this book may change your life. I combed through it slowly and methodically and I plan to read it again at least once a year.

[Anwen Garston · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure what to make of this book. There were some things I agreed with and some things I had definitely read elsewhere.

[Melzy · Rating 1 out of 5]

So repetitive. I couldn't even finish it. I don't reccomend...

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Good insights and ideas. Many 'ah-ha' moments for me when I read the book.
Sometimes repetitive and, I admit, I didn't do many of the exercises.

[Emma Chappell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel I need a reread to take it all in
There are a lot of gems here

[Sal Ski · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended by a friend and I found it to be very helpful, and knowledgeable.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can't rave about this book enough. I recommend it to everyone.

[alba · Rating 3 out of 5]

Only took me half a year