Beyond the Break

Conch Garden #1

by Kristen Mae

"It's just a fantasy, Hazel. It's harmless." Hazel Duval craves an ordinary life free of the pitying looks from those who know about her traumatic past-about what he did to her. About what she had to do to survive. When she moves with her husband Oren to the ocean-side town of Conch Garden and secures her dream job playing violin with the local orchestra, Hazel thinks she may have finally left her ugly history behind her. She even makes a new friend. A friend who turns out to be a little more than she bargained for.

Beautiful, brilliant, and wild, Claire makes love to the sand with her toes, focuses intensely without wrinkling her forehead, and makes a cello sing like nothing Hazel has ever heard. She also listens to Hazel's most painful secrets without judgment or expectation. It isn't long before Hazel finds herself thinking about Claire in ways she has never thought of another woman. Fantasizing. Wanting. Longing. But Hazel is married, and so is Claire. Indulging in this fantasy is not an option. Hazel must bury her lust despite her ever-growing infatuation with Claire and the mountain of shame that comes along with it. Still, there is no denying that her feelings for Claire have awakened something primal in her - for the first time in her life, Hazel feels alive.

And now the two women are flying off to Italy to perform at a music festival, where they'll be sharing an apartment. Alone. As their friendship deepens, Hazel learns from Claire that there is more than one type of love and that salvation comes in many forms. But is Hazel's relationship with Claire really saving her, or is it only leading to the inevitable destruction of the life she's worked so hard to build?

Genres: LGBT, Romance, Lesbian, Slow Burn, Bisexual, Fiction

312 pages, Paperback

Published June 8, 2016

About the author

Kristen Mae lives on the Atlantic coast of Florida with her two children and a fuzzy, giant-eared little dog named Gizmo. In addition to being a novelist, she is a classically trained violist and an artist.

For more from Kristen Mae, sign up for her reader group at abandoningpretense.com, and follow her on social media at facebook.com/AbandoningPretense and at Instagram @kristenmae_author.

Reviews

[Corrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beyond the Break (Conch Garden #1) by Kristen Mae was an emotionally draining experience. Reading about a broken woman is never easy but this author lets you feel every single emotion as if it was your own. It’s not an easy read due to the fact that you know from the beginning that both women are married and will return to their husbands after their lust-filled interlude.

It’s not a romance, it’s not fluffy and there is a lot of raw, dark material we have to deal with. Most of it is happening inside Hazel's head. She is one seriously fucked up individual. Exceptional writing.

m/f, f/f explicit

Themes: Florida, musicians, running, broken woman, lustful obsession, Italy, there is no happy ending for these two women, I don’t know if I can deal with part II anytime soon, but I still want to read it.

4 Stars

[Jo reece · Rating 4 out of 5]

Your either going to like this book, or your going to cringe. I wouldn't just call this a M/F romance, it is also an F/F romance. This is not my normal reading material. In-fact I normally stay away from M/F romance. I decided to give it chance.

Now, it as its dark points.. very dark points which could leave you feeling very uneasy due to Hazel's past.. but the story grabs you. This book is not for everyone.

[Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 big fat, rip my heart to shreds, stars!

This is not an easy read, but Holy Hannah, it's compelling. Well it was for me. This story spoke to me on so many levels. It made me question myself, what makes a relationship work, how couples cope, more so men, with their wives having an affair (no cheating in this book) with consenting to such and how that impacts all parties.

Hazel is a rich, fully-developed, f*%Ked up, lovable, mess. Goddamn! Her story about wrecked me, and I loved every minute of it.

Warning - There are references to rape so if that's a trigger approach this book with caution. With that said, there's no on-page rape, if that makes sense.

****

Wine, I need wine....

[Funnygirlsclub · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was looking forward to reading this book because of the high ratings. But i was left so annoyed because i feel that it is wrongly categorised. This is not a lesbian f/f love story, it's a m/f love story with a lesbian interest. The explicit heterosexual sex and the ridiculous description of the lesbian sex is so insulting! Any lesbian would tell you no one says 'can you finger me'. I face palmed myself so hard through out this book i got whiplash. If you want angst, heterosexual sex, brief f/f interlude, then this is the book for you.

On the plus side the writing is descent if you don't end up wanting to kill yourself after though :/ I've never been so depressed after reading a book before. sigh

[Tristan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book a few days ago and wanted to take time to sort out my thoughts. This book is complex emotionally and not my usual cuppa and it feels a little out of character to have enjoyed it so much. I am a true blue lesfic reader- none of this bi- stuff for me. BUT it was so great to be reminded of the futility of stopping a fateful and gifted pairing-- one that could go so wrong or so right depending on one's bravery to take a chance to be freed from just...existing. To take a journey that makes you feel alive. That's what happened to Hazel in this story, and to me by reading the story. I felt like I was watching a movie or having a really good dream (with a couple of nightmares, lol). I could visualize the whole thing in front of me. I loved the romance. the angst. the music! and yes indeed the lovemaking, OMG. I loved most that brokenness didn't win. Not sure if I buy that one relationship can fix another with so many disconnects, but... This is the first novel I've read by this author and I'm looking forward to much, much more! I think you will really love Hazel and Claire. xo

[Michele · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I had to think for a few days in order to review this book properly. I understand the visceral reaction some people had to this book, especially from LGBT community which I'm part of as well. I am not "spoiling" the book by saying that these two women do not end up together. The author reveals this right away in the prologue. My interpretation is that these two women were in love. And while they clearly loved their husbands, they were not "in love" with them. Especially Hazel.

I know there are opinions that "straight" authors who write about sexually experimenting characters, always bring the characters back to heterosexuality by the end of the book. But I did not feel that way about this book. I don't think these two characters made a decision to stay "straight". They decided to stick with their marriages. More Claire than Hazel though. I really think Hazel would've dropped Oren like a hot potato if Claire decided she wanted to be with Hazel.

If someone falls in love with another outside their marriage, they have a gut/heart/soul wrenching decision to make. Stick with the marriage or follow their heart. Anyone can end up in this situation, not just gay straight bi people. Hazel and Claire decided to deny their hearts which is unfortunate truly, but many people(all types of people) make that kind of decision every day.

[Heather Holter · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you like books about girl on girl sex then this book is for you. If you hate that stuff-guess what? This book is for you! I have always stayed away from sexually explicit material. I think it is awful, and usually very cliche and terrible writing. Since I like the author of this book's writing style on her blog, Abandoning Pretense, I figured I would read it and try to make it through the sex parts. Surprisingly, though, there was no "making it through" them. I was totally sucked into them. It was so tastefully done and not at all raunchy. Plus, there is a bigger story to the book, not all about sex. It is about loss, trauma, marital relations, career, friendship and a woman trying to figure out how to be where she is now instead of in the past. I was so pleasantly surprised! I am so glad this was my first sex book! Everyone will get something out of reading it!

[Suanne Laqueur]

DNF at 15%, wasn’t connecting with anything. Might circle back when I’m not in such a ruthless mood.

[Sky Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

Damn!!!!!!

[Kathryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book will not be for everyone. There is no HEA and it is actually somewhat depressing and gruesome in places. I also do not believe it is fiction but either non-fiction or an autobiography. That being said, it is a very well written, authentic, and intriguing story of two women musicians, that come from extremely different backgrounds. I think this story will stay with me for a very long time (not necessarily a good thing). This is also a heterosexual story not a lesbian love story. BTW, when I say the story is authentic I am not referring to the sex scenes between the two women. Those are awkward descriptions of sex between women with no basis in fact.

This book has a sequel. It is a retelling of the story from Claire's perspective. I do not plan to read it.


WARNING: Rape triggers

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a strangely compelling read. From the beginning, the characters drew me in. I could barely put the book down (burned dinner, by the way). I emerged from the experience slightly disoriented and practically in tears, which I think is a good sign. Yes, it's a sexy book, but what I find impressive are the deftly handled characters and the quality writing. Kristen Mae can tell a story, for sure!

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never really read a romance novel before this. I was very surprised to find that this was a story about the struggle to find who you are, and the journey to get to that place once you find it. The characters are very well written, the imagery is extremely vivid, and the emotions are very real. I have rarely found myself feeling so much for fictions characters that exist only as words on a page. I am glad that, as my first real romance novel, that it was tasteful and not the entirety of the book.

I received an advanced copy of this book, but will definitely buy a physical copy. I hope to see more works from this author in the future. She is a fantastic writer

[Kimberly Poole · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG. I bought this book due to the hype of my friends. I actually even debated buying it because, well lets be honest here, I am a mom of 4. Who spends money on themselves when they have that many mouths to feed? I bought the book anyways because my friends wouldn't shut up about how good it was. THEY DIDNT LIE!!!! This book is phenomenal! The author makes you lose yourself into the story. I loved the downright dirrrrrty details :D I am so shattered that the story is complete. I feel like I need more. I truly hope this author writes another book soon! This should be on your must read shelf for sure!

[Beth Teliho · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review. All views and opinions are my own.

Two words: Roller. Coaster. This is a complex, multi-layered story about love, lust, secrets, happiness...and the risks we take in the name of those things. It's sexy, smart, unique, beautifully written, and delicious. Hazel and Claire are the perfect storm - a spectacular collision you won't be able to look away from, as well as addicting characters that will stay with you long after you finish the book. Honestly one of my favorite reads of the year!

[Steph Reads Faerie Smut]

I honestly don't know why there are sooo many five star reviews raving about this "hauntingly beautiful" romance when this is the biggest fucking queer bait there ever was. This was a hetero romance book with a guest-starring role of badly written f/f sex scenes. Not believable or enjoyable to me(a gay girl trying to find actual good and wholesome lesbian stories) at all. Zero stars.

[CJ]

DNF at 31%. Just not in the mood for M/F relationships...

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gut Punched

What a well written story of misery. I swear, I would hurt less if I had been punched in the gut. I actually don't mind though. Life is not all sunshine and rainbows and experiencing someone's journey through darkness sometimes helps me sort out some of my own feelings.

[Amy Mayo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Take yourself out of your comfort zone and hold on tight; this ride is one you'll want to take again & again.

Beyond the Break is unlike anything I've ever read, and it's amazing.

Ms. Mae has a knack for story telling; her words flow through the pages like music flows from Hazel's violin; strong, beautiful, soft and broken. A tantalizing story that sucks you in from the first sentence, Beyond the Break has it all.

Love, Sex, Marriage, Intrigue, Pain, Secrets, Forbidden Fantasies ... all set to the poignantly chilling and exquisite soundtrack of classical music, friendship and heartbreak, the tale of Oren, Hazel & Claire is one that is meant to be devoured, savored and revisited; over & over.

The natural progression and growth of the characters, their stories (both together and apart) leave nothing to be desired, as Ms. Mae has covered every facet of their lives in excruciatingly haunting detail.

Will Hazel be saved by Oren? Safe & Loving, Gentle & Kind. Or will Hazel find herself saved in the forbidden arms of another? Wild & Unbridled, Merciless & Passionate. Could there be an answer that combines all that she has survived? All that she has realized? Hazel has more questions than answers when we meet her; but as the pages turn and you expect to be revealed are not so easily defined.

After all, Salvation does indeed come in many forms.

While I received an advanced review copy to provide an honest review, all views and opinions are my own; I've just purchased another copy.

[Sarah Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started following this author around the time this book came out, however I didn't read it, because I thought it was all about girl on girl action and that's just not my cup of tea. When her new book (Red Water, *which was AMAZING*) came out, I received an advanced copy because it sounded a lot more to my interest. After reading Red Water, I decided I absolutely had to read Beyond the Break. And I was sucked in, and rode this roller coaster of emotions from start to finish. I barely put it down to be a responsible adult. Completely regret not reading it sooner. Much to my surprise it was NOT just girl on girl. Yes it was a part of it, but tastefully, albeit graphicly, written. The storyline is so much more than that. As much as it was a huge part of the story, it was by no means the focal point. Can not wait for her next book.

[Reader Girl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished Red Water (by the same author) and immediately bought this book without even reading what it was about. Just like Red Water, this book is dark and erotic and intense. Nothing and everything happens. The story is both beautiful and horrible.

Once again, it was the characters and the descriptions of emotions which I was in awe of. I got lost in them. They sucked me in and spat me out. Unlike Red Water, where the ending took me a little by surprise, this ending was far more gentle, leaving me satisfied and, at the same time, longing for more.

Hazel, Claire and Oren will stay with me a long time.

I have now decided Kristen Mae is one of my favourite authors and if she releases a book, I will buy it without hesitation.

[Ashley Alteman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll be honest, I haven't read a book that I've loved this much in a LONG time. I received an advanced copy of this book and I devoured the entire thing in four days. I immediately wanted to read MORE. I hope a sequel comes next!
This book takes you from the States all the way to Italy with ample imagery and beautiful, descriptive writing. The plot leads you through many emotional twists and turns as you fall in love with each character in their own unique ways. The author sucks you in and you'll find yourself thinking of the characters throughout your every day life, even AFTER you've finished the book. It's a MUST have. Love love LOVE this book and highly recommend it!

[Mary Widdicks · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are books that entertain you, books that move you, and books that stick with you. Then there are those rare books that surprise you by doing all three at once. Kristen Mae's ‪Beyond The Break‬ is one of those books.

Sure, it's steamy and hot and a little taboo. Erotic with a twist. But it also has a lot to say about the unpredictable and unique processes that people go through when healing from a trauma.

Sometimes the only way to move beyond your past, beyond the breaking point, is to really explore every part of your mind and body.

Beyond the Break is smart, sexy, and beautiful.

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buckle your seat belt it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Emotional roller coaster! Wow. This book is exquisitely written. Smooth steady building plot line, great character builds, I loved all the characters in this book. Rarely do I find a. book without some flaw. A boring patch, too much detail for word count, an unbearably annoying character. This book had none. This story is different, touching and surprising. I'm pretty sure its gonna leave a mark. Be aware it has some pretty smoken hot scenes involving Hazel and Claire. I thought this book was beautiful. Sometimes the cut needs to be a little deeper to start the healing.

[Meredith Spidel · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the company of so many skilled writers who have read and reviewed this book, I dare not even attempt to craft an eloquent review. I'll only say that Mae delved into deeper parts of our human selves that go far beyond the sexual thrum of this book. She stretched readers to tap on very base and real truths while captivating her audience with a thoroughly engrossing tale told with the utmost art and skill. Can't read more from this author.

[Andra Watkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I often tell people they should branch out and read books they wouldn't normally read. Beyond the Break is one of those books for me because 1. I don't read romance; 2. I don't read erotica; 3. I don't read girl-on-girl. I recommend this story not because it's packed with those things, but because it's woven between the strings of a skillfully played story. A mature book with depth and complexity.

[Tamara Lush · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I've read by the author but it won't be my last. The prose is wonderful and the story, captivating. Rich details combined with a raw sensuality make this a compelling read. The book deals with unsettling themes of rape and self-acceptance, but in the end, there's a queit certainty that things will work out. So well done.

[Shelley L Hatfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written

This book was good, made me a little sad. I wish things would have turned out differently in the end

[Glynis Ratcliffe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put this book down. I had no idea what to expect, but I was absolutely blown away by the subtlety, eroticism, and the integrity of it. Truly worth reading.

[Thea™]

Recommened by Dee! Syl situ! ;-)

[Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rereading as before diving into book 2
Still five stars.