Real Ponies Don't Go Oink!

by Patrick F. McManus

Best-selling outdoor humorist McManus ( The Night the Bear Ate Goombaw) bags another in this collection of yarns featuring irascible woodsman Rancid Crabtree, "Phantom of the Woods" Retch Sweeney, boyhood pal Crazy Eddie, and others of McManus's acquaintance. Also meet hunting dog Strange, dog delinquent, whose prey of choice is year-old roadkill. Readers of McManus's humor column in Outdoor Life will enjoy his observations on the joys of pig-back riding, workshop puttering, and Sasquatch ducking. So will those who, like McManus's wife Bun, appreciate nature most from the window of a seven-story luxury hotel.

Contents:
Controlling My Life
Strange Meets Matilda Jean
Tough Guys Don't Bird
A Good Deed Goes Wrong
The Fishing Box
Social Skills
The Clown
A Good Night's Sleep
A Brief History of Giving (1942-89)
Pouring My Own
Teenagers From Hell
Secret Places
Puttering
Search and - Uh - Rescue
The Bust
Real Ponies Don't Go Oink!
Blood Sausage
Crash Dive!
My Abduction by Creatures From Space, for What It's Worth
Phantom of the Woods
The Piano Lesson
Zumbo and the Misty Mountain Ghosts
The Road Hunter
Why Is It?
The Late Great Fourth
Camping In

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Short Stories, Outdoors, Nature, Audiobook

198 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 1991

About the author

Patrick F. McManus is an American outdoor humor writer. A humor columnist for Outdoor Life and other magazines, his columns have been collected in several books.

Reviews

[Samuel · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was good!

[Linda Hart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny collection of essays, some of which brought tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks

[Brett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patrick McManus audiobooks have become my go to for when I'm transporting my own kids or other kids on the way to a scout campout. I grew up on these stories and love passing them on to a new generation of "outdoorsmen."

[Regina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love everything Pat McManus writes! So funny!

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful read. Chuckled through most of it.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This, and the many other Patrick McMannus books not listed here make the best campfire read-aloud's around.

[R. David]

Light read. Humorous. Fun.

[Nathan Albright · Rating 4 out of 5]

After I made some kind of humorous story involving a poorly done concrete job, a friend of mine found this book, which features a similar story.  For the most part, the author and I have diametrically opposed approaches to humor.  My own sense of humor tends to be rather dry, often understated and highly sardonic, full of wit and subtlety, and the author is more about over the top humor that is wildly improbable and not particularly witty or subtle at all.  Even if it's not my sense of humor, though, this book, like others of its kind, is enjoyable to read [1].  The author is suitably self-effacing, seemingly the sort of person who does not care if people are laughing at him as long as they are laughing.  It's not a sense of humor I think is comfortable to know in person, but in reading a book, it certainly can make for a pleasant book to read as long as you do the appropriate discounting for the obvious exaggeration that the author engages in on a regular basis.  Unsurprisingly, this book was a bestseller, because many people enjoy laughing and don't like to think too hard about it.

This book of about 200 pages long is full of a host of interesting stories that show the appeal of rural life to its audience.  We have stories about families and stepfamilies, stories about trips gone wrong and relationships that struggle, and the author generally presents himself as somewhat clueless but well-meaning.  There are stories about do-it-yourself disasters, encounters with wild and domesticated animals and aliens and ghosts, stories about hunting and fishing, and the like.  The author is at his funniest when he talks about things that at least have a high degree of plausibility, like his odd sense of humor and his school hijinks.  Many of the stories take place with the author as a child, and some of them have a bit of underlying issues where he and some guy named Rancid as well as some of his friends find themselves involved in adventures alone.  There is a distinct absence of womenfolk here apart from an old girlfriend that throws up in a carnival ride, a woman engaged in belly dancing when they run out of money to watch, and teachers of one kind or another, as well as the author's wife Bun.

The author has published a wide variety of books and there are probably many similarities between them.  The odds are high that these books bring a smile and a laugh to many people who enjoy laughing at the author for being such an incompetent person in so many areas of life.  I have always found it a bit of a shabby trick for people who are obviously very intelligent to play dumb because that is the expectation that people have of those from rural areas of the country, or for people to play up their foibles and incompetence so that people laugh at them.  Perhaps those who are class clowns or mascots find a great deal of comfort in the goodwill they gain by making a fool out of themselves, but that is not a way of behavior that I personally understand or like to practice to a great degree.  Life is full of humor, and at the base of these stories there are surely at least some real life nuggets of information, but the absurdity of life is something that I do not think needs to be exaggerated for comic effect, as is obviously done here.

[1] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...

[Sarah Piper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patrick McManus just cracks me up ... this is one of the best books so far. The stories are more varying, not as much "hunting and fishing" as things that happen when you're hunting and fishing (or just being a young boy). I was laughing out loud.

[Jennice Mckillop · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun book. Collection of short stories, some from His childhood & they just make U laugh out loud.
Good for “relief” reading especially after reading some heavy books that mostly details man’s inhumanity.
Nice.

[Jody · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was so fun finding a McManus book that I hadn't read 100 times before. I made the mistake of reading half of this book in a public spot, and I'm sure I made a spectacle of myself by shaking with surprised giggles. McManus is one of my favorite humorist writers.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a collection of funny stories. It's a quick read if you are just reading it. I would suggest keeping it in your car or purse for those times when you have 5-10 minutes to kill like the doctor's office or the oil change place. It's way better than using social media.

[Courtney Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pat would be one of those people you’d invite to a party knowing that he will keep everyone entertained. Made a long road trip seem short and I was so sad when it ended 45 minutes before we made it to our destination.

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic, witty, humorous, and nostalgic. If you're any type of outdoors person, you'll enjoy reading this book around the campfire or whenever you need a good chuckle.

[Arlene Adkins-Zell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each short tale is hilarious, this is a wholesome and fun book.

[KK · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super Funny! I loved it!

[Fragmaster Jed · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sadly, this one hasn't aged well -- outlandish tattoos and misbehaving children just aren't what they used to be...

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Never fails to deliver a laugh.

[C. Earle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another hilarious group of stories about Patrick and his friends and their crazy adventures.

[Travis Mathews · Rating 5 out of 5]

A laugh riot! McManus is a hoot & I Highly recommend anything he has written!

[Jeremiah Small · Rating 4 out of 5]

Collection of comedic short stories

[Melody · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read by Norman Dietz - NOT translated by…

[RalleyRagnarok · Rating 5 out of 5]

A riot and a good telling of Idaho living back in the day.

[Silas · Rating 4 out of 5]

very funny

[James Boyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a hilarious collection. Some of the best stories in this collection are Strange meets Matilda Jean, The Piano Lesson, and A Good Deed goes Wrong.

[James Piss · Rating 1 out of 5]

oinkus......











pigs

[Dale · Rating 3 out of 5]

Patrick McManus has a way of the story changing direction that makes me laugh out loud. I've read all of his books, but someone gave me this one, so I read it again.

[SandyL · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read for a challenge. A bunch of short stories - some humorous and some silly.

[K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always hilarious. Love Pat McManus’ work.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

You don't even need to know how to fish or hunt to LOVE this author. This is my favorite book of his, but all the others are as good. I laughed so hard I could hardly see the words for tears.