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Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood
The first generation of women to have tasted social, political, and economic empowerment-some thirty-seven million strong-has reached a new frontier that is unexpected and unexplored. Nearing their fifties and entering their sixties, they have fulfilled all the prescribed roles-daughter, wife, mother, employee; yet with longer life expectancy and better health they do not intend to retire from the world. They want to experience more. Inventing the Rest of Our Lives is an evocative and eye- opening road map across this uncharted terrain.
Suzanne Braun Levine, the first editor of Ms. magazine and a long-time journalist, has been reporting on the lives of women like herself throughout their tumultuous first adulthood. Here she draws on personal stories, cutting-edge science, up-to-date trend analysis, and her own struggles to show that Second Adulthood women are simply not the same people they were, only older; they are changing-both inside and out. The latest research she has uncovered proves it: Certain areas of their brains are undergoing a growth spurt very similar to that in adolescence, their sexual and emotional rhythms are readjusting along with their hormones, and their priorities are shifting dramatically.
From work to love, self-discovery to civic duty, health to economics, Inventing the Rest of Our Lives examines every aspect of their lives, offers solutions, and shares stories-sometimes touching, sometimes joyous-of women who have found insights and answers to the three crucial questions that each confronts: What matters? What works? What’s next?
Inventing the Rest of Our Lives is a bold, honest, and sharp-witted guidebook, companion, and source of inspiration for every woman entering these uncharted waters.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published December 1, 2004
22 people are currently reading
282 people want to read
About the author
Suzanne Braun Levine
13 books5 followersSuzanne Braun Levine’s recent book, How We Love Now: Women Talk About Intimacy After Fifty, continues her exploration of a new stage of life for women that began with Inventing the Rest of Our Lives and Fifty Is the New Fifty. Levine was the first editor of Ms. magazine and editor of the Columbia Journalism Review.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
June 25, 2009
It has been a profound relief to read this book, to see that women before me have felt this need to jump off into the unknown.
I give it five stars, but it won't be a fiver for you unless you're ready to read it. Not really self-help; more like a series of Aha! moments for women in late-forties/fifties and up. Of all my reading buddies, I think Linda would most appreciate it.
I give it five stars, but it won't be a fiver for you unless you're ready to read it. Not really self-help; more like a series of Aha! moments for women in late-forties/fifties and up. Of all my reading buddies, I think Linda would most appreciate it.
August 12, 2019
A great read for any and every woman 50 and over. I gained a fresh perspective on living a "second adulthood." I am not who I was only older is just one of many wonderful insights. Thank you Suzanne Braun Levine.
March 4, 2023
2.5 stars Meh. I am part of the demographic this book is aimed at but it didn’t really grab me. Maybe because it’s 17 years old? Maybe because I couldn’t relate to a lot of the women in the book? Perhaps a combo.
July 28, 2014
Quotable:
As stored feelings bubble up and radical impulses are generated during Second Adulthood, we find ourselves revisiting ideas and experiences gathered over a lifetime. Things are adding up in new ways. Some women report a sudden loss of interest in the past. “I’m sick of saving things,” one woman told me, “including resentments. I quit therapy recently because I didn’t want to look back any more. I just want to move on.” Others want to do just the opposite – to use their newfound feistiness to tell off historical bullies and clarify longstanding misunderstandings. “I see patterns now,” says Mary. “And they explain so many events that I thought came out of the blue. That helps me look ahead.”
We become more introspective with age. “In general,” says Vivi, “the choices I am making are much more personal and quiet and involve less people… I don’t want as many people around… and that makes it hard in terms of friendships that have kind of traveled with you. Perhaps the wave that carries them is nostalgia, because you’ve been together for so long. You don’t want to lose those relationships… but I’m finding that I need a lot of away time, quiet time. Many people don’t understand why I’m so comfortable being alone. But I don’t really feel lonely.
Until I got feisty, I kept my voice low and listened for the signals from the outside that would answer a different set of questions: Will they like me? Will they approve of what I am doing? What do they need from me? You may wonder who “they” are – I wish I knew. The judgmental “they” was everyone else – including, I once admitted to a shocked friend, my children. For the most part I hid this anxious-to-please mouse, I made tough decisions, I expressed opinions, I held my head up. But that posture often felt like just another role – that of a competent self-confident grown-up. It’s been called the Imposter Syndrome – the secret suspicion that you are faking it, that you are not really as good as things as others think you are.
[W]e are no longer the trend-setting generation; and we are less likely to make a major mark. So we are torn between those “facts of life” and what we fear are “unrealistic expectations.” Can I really start my own business? Can I fall in love? Get a divorce? Close up the house? Do I have what it takes to make changes in my life?
“We talk a lot about loss, and grieving, and ritual, and leaving time for that, for saying goodbye,” says Ruth. There are moments when it may seem as if nothing will be left once the leftovers and false prophets of a lifetime are cleaned out. And there are moments when the old ways start to look awfully good. “For every opening of a new idea or just seeing the light come in in a new way, means you are letting go of something, and that doesn’t feel good. Even,” she adds, “if what you are letting go of hasn’t been good.”
“I’m just not as ambitious as I user to be. I’m kind of enjoying just doing what I do well.”
Unless a woman can project a middling income, the choices of Second Adulthood may be a luxury she cannot afford.
The truth – especially hard for women whose mission it has been to hold everything together – is that taking charge isn’t about control at all; it’s about coping with the unexpected.
Even when women began to break out of the domestic framework, they – we – never broke free of that traditional thinking. We tried to do it all, to hold up both halves of the universe.
Riding the spirals: Instead of going around in smaller and smaller circles as tradition dictates a woman my age should do, and instead of retreading old dreams and assumptions as some of the cheerleaders for this age urge us to do, I now see myself riding upward and outward. As I look down, I see – and appreciate – the reassuring familiarity of my life so far. At the same time, each loop of my trajectory takes me somewhere I haven’t been, to something I can only know when I get there.
As stored feelings bubble up and radical impulses are generated during Second Adulthood, we find ourselves revisiting ideas and experiences gathered over a lifetime. Things are adding up in new ways. Some women report a sudden loss of interest in the past. “I’m sick of saving things,” one woman told me, “including resentments. I quit therapy recently because I didn’t want to look back any more. I just want to move on.” Others want to do just the opposite – to use their newfound feistiness to tell off historical bullies and clarify longstanding misunderstandings. “I see patterns now,” says Mary. “And they explain so many events that I thought came out of the blue. That helps me look ahead.”
We become more introspective with age. “In general,” says Vivi, “the choices I am making are much more personal and quiet and involve less people… I don’t want as many people around… and that makes it hard in terms of friendships that have kind of traveled with you. Perhaps the wave that carries them is nostalgia, because you’ve been together for so long. You don’t want to lose those relationships… but I’m finding that I need a lot of away time, quiet time. Many people don’t understand why I’m so comfortable being alone. But I don’t really feel lonely.
Until I got feisty, I kept my voice low and listened for the signals from the outside that would answer a different set of questions: Will they like me? Will they approve of what I am doing? What do they need from me? You may wonder who “they” are – I wish I knew. The judgmental “they” was everyone else – including, I once admitted to a shocked friend, my children. For the most part I hid this anxious-to-please mouse, I made tough decisions, I expressed opinions, I held my head up. But that posture often felt like just another role – that of a competent self-confident grown-up. It’s been called the Imposter Syndrome – the secret suspicion that you are faking it, that you are not really as good as things as others think you are.
[W]e are no longer the trend-setting generation; and we are less likely to make a major mark. So we are torn between those “facts of life” and what we fear are “unrealistic expectations.” Can I really start my own business? Can I fall in love? Get a divorce? Close up the house? Do I have what it takes to make changes in my life?
“We talk a lot about loss, and grieving, and ritual, and leaving time for that, for saying goodbye,” says Ruth. There are moments when it may seem as if nothing will be left once the leftovers and false prophets of a lifetime are cleaned out. And there are moments when the old ways start to look awfully good. “For every opening of a new idea or just seeing the light come in in a new way, means you are letting go of something, and that doesn’t feel good. Even,” she adds, “if what you are letting go of hasn’t been good.”
“I’m just not as ambitious as I user to be. I’m kind of enjoying just doing what I do well.”
Unless a woman can project a middling income, the choices of Second Adulthood may be a luxury she cannot afford.
The truth – especially hard for women whose mission it has been to hold everything together – is that taking charge isn’t about control at all; it’s about coping with the unexpected.
Even when women began to break out of the domestic framework, they – we – never broke free of that traditional thinking. We tried to do it all, to hold up both halves of the universe.
Riding the spirals: Instead of going around in smaller and smaller circles as tradition dictates a woman my age should do, and instead of retreading old dreams and assumptions as some of the cheerleaders for this age urge us to do, I now see myself riding upward and outward. As I look down, I see – and appreciate – the reassuring familiarity of my life so far. At the same time, each loop of my trajectory takes me somewhere I haven’t been, to something I can only know when I get there.
May 12, 2012
Discusses phenonmenon of middleage women redefining themselv into a 'second adulthood'. Many good insights and stories
Theme is "You are not who you were, only older'. We have different priorities and are different people than we were in our 'first' adulhood.
I just don't care what people think anymore… I do care actually. Its simply that I finally care more what I think.. I call it the Fuck You Fifities.
The journey to second adulthood begins with an existential inquiry: Who am I NOW. Talks about the 'fertile void' a quiet hiatus time . A time to be still and make the transition from the driven overcommitted superwoman to someone whose priorities and passions are less rigidly managed and perhaps more deeply felt.
If we live by the maxim that time is money, we forget that TIME IS LIFE.
When the women I talked to reviewed what had been lacking in their first adulthood, self-nurturing moved to the top of the list.
There are two types of human entities the dead and the predead. So while you're waltzing from predead to dead, have a lot of kids in your life, laugh a lot, have a lot of sex until the walls rattle and have a good time. (Quote from someone named Paula!)
Theme is "You are not who you were, only older'. We have different priorities and are different people than we were in our 'first' adulhood.
I just don't care what people think anymore… I do care actually. Its simply that I finally care more what I think.. I call it the Fuck You Fifities.
The journey to second adulthood begins with an existential inquiry: Who am I NOW. Talks about the 'fertile void' a quiet hiatus time . A time to be still and make the transition from the driven overcommitted superwoman to someone whose priorities and passions are less rigidly managed and perhaps more deeply felt.
If we live by the maxim that time is money, we forget that TIME IS LIFE.
When the women I talked to reviewed what had been lacking in their first adulthood, self-nurturing moved to the top of the list.
There are two types of human entities the dead and the predead. So while you're waltzing from predead to dead, have a lot of kids in your life, laugh a lot, have a lot of sex until the walls rattle and have a good time. (Quote from someone named Paula!)
August 15, 2016
The realistic and yet positive outlook on life after 50 underlies all aspects of this book. I enjoyed it and expect to revisit parts of it over the next few years. I found it particularly interesting that the author focused on the fact that there is easily a period of 1 to 2 years where women question what is next and that often there is not a cut and dried answer. She shares her thoughts, experiences and feelings as well as those of the many women she interviewed to write this book. I believe that every women will experience a sense of kinship in reading this book and come away feeling optimistic. I recommend this book to anyone approaching, in or beyond her fifties.
Divided into 3 sections:
1) Getting to What Matters: Letting Go and Saying No
2) Finding Out What Works: Recalibrating Your Life
3) Moving On to What's Next: Making Peace and Taking Charge
Divided into 3 sections:
1) Getting to What Matters: Letting Go and Saying No
2) Finding Out What Works: Recalibrating Your Life
3) Moving On to What's Next: Making Peace and Taking Charge
November 17, 2013
15/11/13 1 of 8 books for $6 tuggerah library chuck out
July 22, 2018
This book felt mediocre. Like there was something more, deeper, to the premise, but this book was just never going to get there. Be ready to read the sentence "you are not who you were, only older" 10000000 times; it certainly got old by the end of the book.
I felt like the author was pretty flaky, and that's fine, she's growing and learning things, but it didn't feel like she was really in a position to be preaching about growth and letting go of old things to other people. There were so many things she discussed in this book as being an experience young women never live through/appreciate/understand until they reach their Second Adulthood that I recognized in my own life as things I have done and moved through and learned from already. I know others that have as well. That she proclaimed them as being only for the older and wiser, that all of us 'young things' will just be flighty, uncertain, compromising girls all our lives until we hit menopause and suddenly realize these things - it grated on me a bit.
(There's one section where she says that young women nowadays will never experience 'bag lady syndrome', that the 26 year old researcher she interviewed didn't even recognize the term. Levine writes proudly that "the notion of irrational money worries just didn't make sense" to the younger woman, and won't to any of the younger generations ever again, solely because we're more savvy with money handling than Levine's generation. And that's just complete and utter rot. She needed to interview a good deal more people - particularly anyone in a lower class than her own - to figure out a lot of what she perceived as problems now gone with the old days were very much alive and well in the most recent generation you could conceive of, no second adulthood or fertile voids required.)
Right near the end of the book, there was also a really creepy interview of a woman named Fran who waxed poetical about her granddaughter's vulva, contemplating it while she's changing the girl's diaper, and wondering at the marvel of the womb and life, and who would one day be in the little girl's womb. Levine celebrates this off-putting interview as just something spectacular, and congratulates Fran on the use of the word "vulva" because nothing says "Fuck You Fifties" (Levine's term) more than saying "vulva." Really.
I felt like the author was pretty flaky, and that's fine, she's growing and learning things, but it didn't feel like she was really in a position to be preaching about growth and letting go of old things to other people. There were so many things she discussed in this book as being an experience young women never live through/appreciate/understand until they reach their Second Adulthood that I recognized in my own life as things I have done and moved through and learned from already. I know others that have as well. That she proclaimed them as being only for the older and wiser, that all of us 'young things' will just be flighty, uncertain, compromising girls all our lives until we hit menopause and suddenly realize these things - it grated on me a bit.
(There's one section where she says that young women nowadays will never experience 'bag lady syndrome', that the 26 year old researcher she interviewed didn't even recognize the term. Levine writes proudly that "the notion of irrational money worries just didn't make sense" to the younger woman, and won't to any of the younger generations ever again, solely because we're more savvy with money handling than Levine's generation. And that's just complete and utter rot. She needed to interview a good deal more people - particularly anyone in a lower class than her own - to figure out a lot of what she perceived as problems now gone with the old days were very much alive and well in the most recent generation you could conceive of, no second adulthood or fertile voids required.)
Right near the end of the book, there was also a really creepy interview of a woman named Fran who waxed poetical about her granddaughter's vulva, contemplating it while she's changing the girl's diaper, and wondering at the marvel of the womb and life, and who would one day be in the little girl's womb. Levine celebrates this off-putting interview as just something spectacular, and congratulates Fran on the use of the word "vulva" because nothing says "Fuck You Fifties" (Levine's term) more than saying "vulva." Really.
July 24, 2013
Have you ever been in the check-out line at Wal-Mart and overheard women discussing the exact same thing you have been going through or thinking about? And in that moment, even though you didn't join the conversation, you felt a tad bit better just knowing that you weren't alone in your experience or bat-crap crazy for your thoughts? This is what I've been feeling while reading "Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood" by Suzanne Braun Levine: that I'm not flying solo in feeling seriously screwed up from all this aging business.
I am 51. Yes, I'm finally ready to admit it but with my own twist: I am calling myself an AGELESS 51. This puts me smack dab in what Ms. Levine calls the Fertile Void, "where we begin the process of sorting things out -- and shaking things up. We shed the voices of shoulda-woulda-coulda thinking and begin to sense the presence of an internal compass, our own voice." Well, my own voice is saying, or more like screaming: Fertile Void, Smyrtle Void, this feels like the Amped-up Abyss to me. Nothing in my life feels right anymore. I'm frustrated. I've got all this mojo building up to barrel over the precipice of where I am and don't want to be and to change things, but it would mean jumping into the abyss because I haven't got the first clue what to do to make my life feel more right. Ms. Levine says, "No wonder the journey begins in a torrent of confusion. Many women find themselves at the edge of a cliff before they even realize something is happening. And looking down, they can't imagine what ropes and pulleys will guide their descent. They are propelled only by a funny feeling . . . a mixture of dissatisfaction and fear -- and a panicky sense that is it time to do something." You got that right, Sister! I want to do something, anything but, as she and others who've written about the Fertile Void validate, I feel stuck. And feeling stuck SUCKS! So what to do to unsuck my situation? Ms. Levine says, "The solution, ironically, is not more movement, but less. The cure for 'stuck' is 'still.' A gathering in of the energy unleashed by Saying No and Letting Go (two of the key aspects she describes as common in Second Adulthood -- being able to finally say "no" and let go of whatever no longer serves your best life). That is what the Fertile Void can offer, an opportunity to exchange the wish to control life for a willingness to engage living." I am all about engaging living, having recently dubbed myself an "Adventurista," so I'm working on staying still until the big reveal of what the hell I'm meant to do next comes along. It ain't easy.
Saying "no" has gotten easier for me over the years after I decided I was tired of being everyone's beck-and-call girl, especially when it came to family affairs that always seemed to involve rescuing relatives from crises of their own making and loaning money (more like donating as there was rarely ever any payback). But the "letting go" is a struggle, always has been. I am no good at accepting things I can't change -- like jonesing for the Tin Man's oil can to lubricate my creaky joints before I roll out of bed in the morning -- and releasing my expectations of how I want to look -- as good as Cher and Barbra, okay, I'll be more realistic and settle for Paula Abdul who is also 51. I am working on it, though, as Ms. Levine says the letting go is a necessary coping mechanism for surviving the transition to Second Adulthood. My first step was accepting that I could mess myself up BAD riding my skateboard Pinkie and releasing her to the care of my teenage niece who wants to ride. I miss seeing Pinkie standing up in the corner of the pantry, that hot pink confirmation that I am still a wild and crazy gal, but admittedly, that's all she's done for the past year anyway, so it was time for her to fly with someone a bit more spry.
What else did I learn from this book? I learned that there's a bona fide reason for my crankiness, or my Ouiser-ness as my bestie Sara calls it from Shirley MacLaine's character Ouiser in "Steel Magnolias" who says, "I'm not crazy . . . I've just been in a very bad mood for forty years!" I have entered the Fuck You Fifties, as Ms. Levine calls the decade, a time of "speaking up, speaking out, speaking one's mind" and a spirit of rebellion that rivals our teenage years. I sure fit that mold to a tee; in fact, I should be the poster chick for the Fuck You Fifties! My sweetie DMan, the poor thing, sure gets an earful of me speaking my mind about anything and everything, including our relationship. As Ms. Levine explains, the Fuck You Fifties brings on a reexamining and redefining of our intimate relationships as women feel the need for more authority, independence and space in their lives. Therefore my age is to blame, not me, if we end up with a white line down the middle of our house separating my space from his. The way I've been acting, he may prefer it anyway so he'll have a safe-zone man cave where he can retreat when my Fuck You Fifties really get fired up.
There is a ton of good stuff in this book to help women navigate the journey into Second Adulthood. Reading many of the personal stories felt just like that eavesdropping Wal-Mart experience, giving me real-life examples of how to handle the twists, turns and roadblocks ahead and also making me feel blessed in some cases that my situation isn't worse. As always, I'm a sucker for quotes, and Ms. Levine collected some dandies! Here are my two favorites:
"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is or how valuable or how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open."
-- Martha Graham
"At this time in our history, we should take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves. Try to do whatever you do as an act of celebration. WE ARE THE ONES WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR."
-- Hopi Nation, "Wisdom of the Elders"
"Inventing the Rest of Our Lives" is not a quick read, nor an easy one. There will be lots of time spent with the book lying on your chest while your mind ponders all the aspects of aging Ms. Levine touches on; there will be times of skimming through pieces that don't apply to your life. But the book is definitely worth the time to help you figure out what matters, what works, and what's next for the second half of your life. Enjoy!
I am 51. Yes, I'm finally ready to admit it but with my own twist: I am calling myself an AGELESS 51. This puts me smack dab in what Ms. Levine calls the Fertile Void, "where we begin the process of sorting things out -- and shaking things up. We shed the voices of shoulda-woulda-coulda thinking and begin to sense the presence of an internal compass, our own voice." Well, my own voice is saying, or more like screaming: Fertile Void, Smyrtle Void, this feels like the Amped-up Abyss to me. Nothing in my life feels right anymore. I'm frustrated. I've got all this mojo building up to barrel over the precipice of where I am and don't want to be and to change things, but it would mean jumping into the abyss because I haven't got the first clue what to do to make my life feel more right. Ms. Levine says, "No wonder the journey begins in a torrent of confusion. Many women find themselves at the edge of a cliff before they even realize something is happening. And looking down, they can't imagine what ropes and pulleys will guide their descent. They are propelled only by a funny feeling . . . a mixture of dissatisfaction and fear -- and a panicky sense that is it time to do something." You got that right, Sister! I want to do something, anything but, as she and others who've written about the Fertile Void validate, I feel stuck. And feeling stuck SUCKS! So what to do to unsuck my situation? Ms. Levine says, "The solution, ironically, is not more movement, but less. The cure for 'stuck' is 'still.' A gathering in of the energy unleashed by Saying No and Letting Go (two of the key aspects she describes as common in Second Adulthood -- being able to finally say "no" and let go of whatever no longer serves your best life). That is what the Fertile Void can offer, an opportunity to exchange the wish to control life for a willingness to engage living." I am all about engaging living, having recently dubbed myself an "Adventurista," so I'm working on staying still until the big reveal of what the hell I'm meant to do next comes along. It ain't easy.
Saying "no" has gotten easier for me over the years after I decided I was tired of being everyone's beck-and-call girl, especially when it came to family affairs that always seemed to involve rescuing relatives from crises of their own making and loaning money (more like donating as there was rarely ever any payback). But the "letting go" is a struggle, always has been. I am no good at accepting things I can't change -- like jonesing for the Tin Man's oil can to lubricate my creaky joints before I roll out of bed in the morning -- and releasing my expectations of how I want to look -- as good as Cher and Barbra, okay, I'll be more realistic and settle for Paula Abdul who is also 51. I am working on it, though, as Ms. Levine says the letting go is a necessary coping mechanism for surviving the transition to Second Adulthood. My first step was accepting that I could mess myself up BAD riding my skateboard Pinkie and releasing her to the care of my teenage niece who wants to ride. I miss seeing Pinkie standing up in the corner of the pantry, that hot pink confirmation that I am still a wild and crazy gal, but admittedly, that's all she's done for the past year anyway, so it was time for her to fly with someone a bit more spry.
What else did I learn from this book? I learned that there's a bona fide reason for my crankiness, or my Ouiser-ness as my bestie Sara calls it from Shirley MacLaine's character Ouiser in "Steel Magnolias" who says, "I'm not crazy . . . I've just been in a very bad mood for forty years!" I have entered the Fuck You Fifties, as Ms. Levine calls the decade, a time of "speaking up, speaking out, speaking one's mind" and a spirit of rebellion that rivals our teenage years. I sure fit that mold to a tee; in fact, I should be the poster chick for the Fuck You Fifties! My sweetie DMan, the poor thing, sure gets an earful of me speaking my mind about anything and everything, including our relationship. As Ms. Levine explains, the Fuck You Fifties brings on a reexamining and redefining of our intimate relationships as women feel the need for more authority, independence and space in their lives. Therefore my age is to blame, not me, if we end up with a white line down the middle of our house separating my space from his. The way I've been acting, he may prefer it anyway so he'll have a safe-zone man cave where he can retreat when my Fuck You Fifties really get fired up.
There is a ton of good stuff in this book to help women navigate the journey into Second Adulthood. Reading many of the personal stories felt just like that eavesdropping Wal-Mart experience, giving me real-life examples of how to handle the twists, turns and roadblocks ahead and also making me feel blessed in some cases that my situation isn't worse. As always, I'm a sucker for quotes, and Ms. Levine collected some dandies! Here are my two favorites:
"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is or how valuable or how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open."
-- Martha Graham
"At this time in our history, we should take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves. Try to do whatever you do as an act of celebration. WE ARE THE ONES WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR."
-- Hopi Nation, "Wisdom of the Elders"
"Inventing the Rest of Our Lives" is not a quick read, nor an easy one. There will be lots of time spent with the book lying on your chest while your mind ponders all the aspects of aging Ms. Levine touches on; there will be times of skimming through pieces that don't apply to your life. But the book is definitely worth the time to help you figure out what matters, what works, and what's next for the second half of your life. Enjoy!
June 22, 2017
I'm not a member of the exact demographic that Suzanne Levine targeted in this book, but I still found it to hold a lot of valuable messages. Everyone can benefit from a reminder that you continually have the opportunity to "invent the rest of your life." Times of transition are challenging and disorienting, but they are a chance to emerge with greater strength, focus, determination, and satisfaction.
This book is peppered with anecdotes (individual women's stories) that are fascinating and, potentially, illuminating. Issues relating to money, love, friendship, health, politics, and career are discussed.
I couldn't help thinking of my mom as I read this book. How I wished I could sit with her and talk about these issues together in person. Maybe I'll get a chance to in the near future :) And I'd like to revisit this book in ten years.
This book is peppered with anecdotes (individual women's stories) that are fascinating and, potentially, illuminating. Issues relating to money, love, friendship, health, politics, and career are discussed.
I couldn't help thinking of my mom as I read this book. How I wished I could sit with her and talk about these issues together in person. Maybe I'll get a chance to in the near future :) And I'd like to revisit this book in ten years.
July 22, 2024
Hardly anything rings true to me in this difficult -to-read book. I mean, sure, it's not written with me in mind, but you'd think I'd be able to identify with one or two dabs of it, and I can, but they're not enough for me to give it a stellar review.
You see, some of us blokes are interested enough to want to get to know more about the people we spend the biggest parts of our life with, but this doesn't help with this at all. Not for me, anyhow.
There's a phrase that's used throughout the book that typifies, for me, how obtuse it all is. The phrase is "I am not who I was, only older". I had a word with ChatGPT about this phrase and even it admitted that it's a paradoxical piece of prose. Paradoxical? More like completely ... (be polite now, Robert) ... dense.
Anyway, good luck, women, you're on your own with this one. Chaps: read a Jack Reacher novel instead.
You see, some of us blokes are interested enough to want to get to know more about the people we spend the biggest parts of our life with, but this doesn't help with this at all. Not for me, anyhow.
There's a phrase that's used throughout the book that typifies, for me, how obtuse it all is. The phrase is "I am not who I was, only older". I had a word with ChatGPT about this phrase and even it admitted that it's a paradoxical piece of prose. Paradoxical? More like completely ... (be polite now, Robert) ... dense.
Anyway, good luck, women, you're on your own with this one. Chaps: read a Jack Reacher novel instead.
March 23, 2025
This is a very good book. I liked the topic of what to do with our older adult years
This book did not match our current political situation and made me feel sad at the loss of women’s rights. It made me realize what we have lost and feel that our choices are different and our rights and freedoms are different
This book did not match our current political situation and made me feel sad at the loss of women’s rights. It made me realize what we have lost and feel that our choices are different and our rights and freedoms are different
October 20, 2017
Interesting read especially when she talks about the physical changes due to hormones and brain development. The message I took away is that you want to be your true self as life is short!
Read
February 26, 2020Interesting read! Food for thought ladies!
July 25, 2020
Find your answers to the questions: What Matters? What Works? What's Next?
January 18, 2021
I highly recommend this book to any woman entering or in her 50s or 60s!
Published in 2005 but still highly relevant and empowering.
Published in 2005 but still highly relevant and empowering.
September 3, 2023
Interesting read on navigating midlife and how women often change, grow and thrive at this time of their life.
October 9, 2023
Too much left wing political opinion.
I picked up this book hoping for support. What I found was an older woman's political views. Not what I was hoping for.
I picked up this book hoping for support. What I found was an older woman's political views. Not what I was hoping for.
April 23, 2025
It's too bad it's so dated (though even that was an interesting glimpse), but otherwise was very interesting and I think it will stick with me!
May 30, 2025
I didn't realize how old this was
August 10, 2015
Suzanne Braun Levine is an interesting woman and this is an interesting book. Part autobiography, part the findings from interviews with women past the age of 50 and part curation of what others say about aging, in particular, female aging.
An American baby-boomer this is an experiential journey for her and for any of us who are entering our later stage of life. This is the stage where middle age ends. However, us baby-boomers are writing the story as we go along as to what shape this journey might take in modern times. She raises some interesting and challenging questions about what it means to age in our current times. It's a call to recognise that we are entering, for the first time in history a second adulthood.
Her message is that we realise we will not be who we are but older. We will be different as well as older. "We are approaching the next frontier as women with new ideas and responses, whose priorities are changing. That's why answering the question, what's next? is not as easy as it may appear" We find we have outgrown our dreams of the past and they have little bearing on what we are going to do next. "So, we are a new kind of generation".
"Second adulthood is a mystery cruise to an undisclosed destination in wildly unpredictable weather, calling on ports dangerous and idyllic".
I am indebted to Suzanne to introducing me to the notion of the 'Fertile Void'. The prolonged state of confusion where you feel compelled to take action but have no idea what action to take. Currently I have a sense of 'stuckness' but this is to be welcomed as a necessary, albeit bewildering hiatus. "The solution, ironically, is not more movement but less. The cure for stuck is still" However, she recognises that not having something to do is a challenge for those of us who have lived by 'to-do' lists.
"A sojourn in the fertle void doesn't necessarily change our circumstances, but it does change the way our lives look to us."
"The Fertile Void is the long slow deep breath - the gathering in of strength - that precedes a daring leap into the unknown"
I enjoyed finding out that other women of my age have no idea what passion they wish to pursue. Apparently, the Fertile Void is like a archaeological dig in search of it. "We all have dreams and drives; the hard part is accessing them" (so true for me!)
This is an intelligent book about aging which is both hopeful and importantly, realistic. "The most serious threat to the management of our well-being is the dismissive power of ageism. Buying into a negative stereotype about our age group makes it more likely that a woman will accept as permanent what is very possible to change about her personal ageing process".
If you are over 50, have no idea what's next or what you want to do - then welcome to Second Adulthood and a chance to reinvent yourself.
An American baby-boomer this is an experiential journey for her and for any of us who are entering our later stage of life. This is the stage where middle age ends. However, us baby-boomers are writing the story as we go along as to what shape this journey might take in modern times. She raises some interesting and challenging questions about what it means to age in our current times. It's a call to recognise that we are entering, for the first time in history a second adulthood.
Her message is that we realise we will not be who we are but older. We will be different as well as older. "We are approaching the next frontier as women with new ideas and responses, whose priorities are changing. That's why answering the question, what's next? is not as easy as it may appear" We find we have outgrown our dreams of the past and they have little bearing on what we are going to do next. "So, we are a new kind of generation".
"Second adulthood is a mystery cruise to an undisclosed destination in wildly unpredictable weather, calling on ports dangerous and idyllic".
I am indebted to Suzanne to introducing me to the notion of the 'Fertile Void'. The prolonged state of confusion where you feel compelled to take action but have no idea what action to take. Currently I have a sense of 'stuckness' but this is to be welcomed as a necessary, albeit bewildering hiatus. "The solution, ironically, is not more movement but less. The cure for stuck is still" However, she recognises that not having something to do is a challenge for those of us who have lived by 'to-do' lists.
"A sojourn in the fertle void doesn't necessarily change our circumstances, but it does change the way our lives look to us."
"The Fertile Void is the long slow deep breath - the gathering in of strength - that precedes a daring leap into the unknown"
I enjoyed finding out that other women of my age have no idea what passion they wish to pursue. Apparently, the Fertile Void is like a archaeological dig in search of it. "We all have dreams and drives; the hard part is accessing them" (so true for me!)
This is an intelligent book about aging which is both hopeful and importantly, realistic. "The most serious threat to the management of our well-being is the dismissive power of ageism. Buying into a negative stereotype about our age group makes it more likely that a woman will accept as permanent what is very possible to change about her personal ageing process".
If you are over 50, have no idea what's next or what you want to do - then welcome to Second Adulthood and a chance to reinvent yourself.
March 30, 2014
I really enjoyed this book and think I learned a few things from it. Many books about aging, retirement, the second or third chapter focus on mostly the economics and assume that most of the readers have been highly successful financially. This tends to focus on mostly professional women, but not entirely. Emphasis on possibilities and new attitudes are what I came away with. The author talks about what we give up as we age and also what we gain. If I can come away from reading a book with new insights and a positive attitude, I consider that book a winner. The reason I gave it 4 instead of 5 stars is, it was a little slow to get hooked in. I would recommend this book to women who are close to 50, women contemplating a life change, recently retired women (like me) looking for some guidance to find an answer to "What's next?'.
August 22, 2008
08/14/08
TITLE/AUTHOR: THE WOMAN'S GUIDE TO SECOND ADULTHOOD: INVENTING THE REST OF OUR LIVES
RATING: 4.5/B+
GENRE/PUB DATE/# OF PGS: Non-Fiction/2005/242 pgs
FIRST LINES: My 1st step into Second Adulthood was backward off a ninety foot cliff.
COMMENTS:06/25/08 rec via bookcrossing ring/ray. Very worthwhile reading about transitions in the lives of women 50 yrs old. Some of these changes may happen earlier or later but in general around that age point. Found the book validating a lot of feelings and reassuring. Did give you a positive outlook. The main thing I take away from this book is "you are not the same you just older". You still have choices and new adventures ahead of you.
TITLE/AUTHOR: THE WOMAN'S GUIDE TO SECOND ADULTHOOD: INVENTING THE REST OF OUR LIVES
RATING: 4.5/B+
GENRE/PUB DATE/# OF PGS: Non-Fiction/2005/242 pgs
FIRST LINES: My 1st step into Second Adulthood was backward off a ninety foot cliff.
COMMENTS:06/25/08 rec via bookcrossing ring/ray. Very worthwhile reading about transitions in the lives of women 50 yrs old. Some of these changes may happen earlier or later but in general around that age point. Found the book validating a lot of feelings and reassuring. Did give you a positive outlook. The main thing I take away from this book is "you are not the same you just older". You still have choices and new adventures ahead of you.
June 11, 2011
While I'm not there yet (the target audience was really 50 to 70 year-olds), the concept of a second adulthood interested me. Key line "You're not just you, only older." I sense the truth of that statment as I get older! However I couldn't think of anyone to pass it on to ... and so I did something I rarely do. I threw the book away.
July 5, 2012
This is the book I have been speaking about. Only on chaper 3 or 4.
My favorite line so far is "The Fuck You Fifties"--the time when women stop caring so much about what others think, want, need and begin to care about themselves.
So, I said "Fuck you" to being the treat mom for the Sunday morning youth group. Felt perfect.
My favorite line so far is "The Fuck You Fifties"--the time when women stop caring so much about what others think, want, need and begin to care about themselves.
So, I said "Fuck you" to being the treat mom for the Sunday morning youth group. Felt perfect.
May 12, 2013
I will be passing this book on to a new friend who wondered if there are any books to help us "old ladies" regroup and feel excited about our stage of living. Great reading for me in my early sixties. Actually surprised how normal I am...
May 29, 2008
Every women and some men even. I'm ready to re-read it again
only slower. It makes you not feel so alone as you cross over into another generation and reminds you what's very important
in life.
only slower. It makes you not feel so alone as you cross over into another generation and reminds you what's very important
in life.
September 19, 2008
Really enjoyed this book. Hearing what other women are doing in their 50s is interesting and reassuring and encouraging. I would love to be able to discuss this book with a group of 50+ yr olds.
October 9, 2008
Has some good ideas for us oldies
November 24, 2008
I like the concept / reality of the f*** you fifties, although I think for some, like myself, it is really the f*** you forties.
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