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Expecting: The Inner Life of Pregnancy
Winner of the Saltire Society First Book of the Year, 2016. “Immediately, poignantly, gripping… magnificent.” – Zoe Williams, Guardian. When Chitra Ramaswamy discovered she was pregnant, she longed for a book that went above and beyond a manual; a book that did more than describe what was happening in her growing body. One that, instead, got to the very heart of this overwhelming, confusing and exciting experience. Expecting takes the reader on a physical, emotional, philosophical and artistic odyssey through pregnancy. A memoir exploring each of the nine months of Chitra’s pregnancy, Expecting is a book of intimate, strange, wild and lyrical essays that pay tribute to this most extraordinary and ordinary of experiences.
192 pages, Paperback
First published April 7, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
April 17, 2017
“I started to feel a series of quickenings in my uterus. I say a series, because they felt multiple. This was no defined kick, tap, flutter, hunger pang or bubble of gas. It didn’t remotely fit the image of a woman pressing a hand to her bump in shock that I had seen in countless films and television series over the years. I was in no particular place when it happened, and there was no outward recognition when it did. I wasn’t even sure if it was what I thought it was at first. And yet, something electrical, like the fusing of wires. A string of lights flickering, then turning on. Swaying. Soft knock-knock against the wall of my womb. Shadows in an old cave. Each time I felt these sensations, I felt jubilant, as if my body had made a clever discovery and was exclaiming, ‘Ah-ha!’ Each one was a yes resounding through my body, the most literal affirmation of life. Of the foetus, yes, but I didn’t expect its stirrings to revitalise my own sense of being here, in this moment and time, full of my own too-quick life”
Expecting: The Inner Life of Pregnancy is a non-fiction book by British journalist and author, Chitra Ramaswamy. When she finally falls pregnant, Ramaswamy shares her personal experience of it in her own unique way, giving the reader the literary intellectual’s perspective. She describes scans, body changes, prenatal classes, foetal movements, home-birth preparations, travelling and having a “babymoon”, as well as the effect of her pregnancy on her feelings about her parents, and relates all this to literature, art, poetry, sculpture, landscape and film. She quotes from, or refers to, works by Plath and Proust, Frida Kahlo, Sontag and St Jerome and de St Exupery, Jung and Joyce, Nan Shepherd, Garcia Marquez, Atwood, Toni Morrison, Coleridge, Tolstoy, Zadie Smith, Almodovar, Jhumpa Lahiri, Nora Ephron and Voltaire, to mention but a few.
On the word pregnant, she says “There is the sense of pregnancy carrying weight, depth or meaning. The pregnant pause. The pregnant moment. The pregnant utterance. By the late fourteenth century, to be pregnant also meant to be convincing, weighty or pithy. A pregnant argument was a compelling one”.
On early pregnancy: “…how could something the size of a mere kidney bean be wreaking such havoc? There was almost no weight to it, it took up virtually no space in the world, yet it was a burden – and a secret one at that. There was enough of it to make me pee constantly, catch my breath at the top of a flight of stairs, and fall asleep in the early hours of the evening on the sofa”.
On talking to other pregnant women: “you ended up talking about cravings, nursery schemes, birth plans and all the other nice, clean, safe pregnancy topics that papered over the reality. Like a magpie, you started to steal glittering, distracting phrases about pregnancy that others might want to hear and lined your nest with them, using them to protect yourself from a world that seemed increasingly loud, bright, hazardous and out of step with what was happening to you”.
Ramaswamy’s descriptive prose is highly evocative. This is a book that may appeal to women who are pregnant, have been pregnant, or might, one day, be pregnant. Outside this demographic, both the relevance and enjoyment are likely to be diminished. Original and different.
Expecting: The Inner Life of Pregnancy is a non-fiction book by British journalist and author, Chitra Ramaswamy. When she finally falls pregnant, Ramaswamy shares her personal experience of it in her own unique way, giving the reader the literary intellectual’s perspective. She describes scans, body changes, prenatal classes, foetal movements, home-birth preparations, travelling and having a “babymoon”, as well as the effect of her pregnancy on her feelings about her parents, and relates all this to literature, art, poetry, sculpture, landscape and film. She quotes from, or refers to, works by Plath and Proust, Frida Kahlo, Sontag and St Jerome and de St Exupery, Jung and Joyce, Nan Shepherd, Garcia Marquez, Atwood, Toni Morrison, Coleridge, Tolstoy, Zadie Smith, Almodovar, Jhumpa Lahiri, Nora Ephron and Voltaire, to mention but a few.
On the word pregnant, she says “There is the sense of pregnancy carrying weight, depth or meaning. The pregnant pause. The pregnant moment. The pregnant utterance. By the late fourteenth century, to be pregnant also meant to be convincing, weighty or pithy. A pregnant argument was a compelling one”.
On early pregnancy: “…how could something the size of a mere kidney bean be wreaking such havoc? There was almost no weight to it, it took up virtually no space in the world, yet it was a burden – and a secret one at that. There was enough of it to make me pee constantly, catch my breath at the top of a flight of stairs, and fall asleep in the early hours of the evening on the sofa”.
On talking to other pregnant women: “you ended up talking about cravings, nursery schemes, birth plans and all the other nice, clean, safe pregnancy topics that papered over the reality. Like a magpie, you started to steal glittering, distracting phrases about pregnancy that others might want to hear and lined your nest with them, using them to protect yourself from a world that seemed increasingly loud, bright, hazardous and out of step with what was happening to you”.
Ramaswamy’s descriptive prose is highly evocative. This is a book that may appeal to women who are pregnant, have been pregnant, or might, one day, be pregnant. Outside this demographic, both the relevance and enjoyment are likely to be diminished. Original and different.
August 12, 2024
“We shall be monsters, cut off from all the world, but on that account, we should be more attached to one another.” Frankenstein — Mary Shelly
February 17, 2020
Ramaswamy wrote this memoir of her pregnancy in the style of nature writing, following Nan Shepherd's The Living Mountain, as she views pregnancy as being somewhat akin to scaling a metaphorical mountain, and it makes for a really close view of the human body as topography.
As an Indian woman in a lesbian relationship, Ramaswamy writes beautifully about how the human body undergoes the sea changes of fostering human life, and juxtaposes it with how society receives a brown body about to become a parent outside of a 'traditional' heterosexual marriage; one of the most moving chapters is Ramaswamy's musing about her child's potential resemblance to her white sperm donor, and what it means for her to give birth to a baby who, if it 'passes' for white, may automatically be perceived by strangers as the white offspring of a heterosexual relationship, rather than a mixed race child of a queer household.
Although the main focus of the book is the psychological and physical effects of pregnancy on a person, Ramaswamy's memoir challenges the limited viewpoint that often constrains narratives of pregnancy to notions of white heterosexual couples, and she speaks to the ultimate human connection to the creation of life that should be accessible to all people, but which is still so stigmatised when applied to certain bodies.
A really moving memoir of what it means to nurture life, and to do so beyond the boundaries of heteronormativity.
As an Indian woman in a lesbian relationship, Ramaswamy writes beautifully about how the human body undergoes the sea changes of fostering human life, and juxtaposes it with how society receives a brown body about to become a parent outside of a 'traditional' heterosexual marriage; one of the most moving chapters is Ramaswamy's musing about her child's potential resemblance to her white sperm donor, and what it means for her to give birth to a baby who, if it 'passes' for white, may automatically be perceived by strangers as the white offspring of a heterosexual relationship, rather than a mixed race child of a queer household.
Although the main focus of the book is the psychological and physical effects of pregnancy on a person, Ramaswamy's memoir challenges the limited viewpoint that often constrains narratives of pregnancy to notions of white heterosexual couples, and she speaks to the ultimate human connection to the creation of life that should be accessible to all people, but which is still so stigmatised when applied to certain bodies.
A really moving memoir of what it means to nurture life, and to do so beyond the boundaries of heteronormativity.
September 16, 2023
3.5-4… an interesting sort of style, very much written by a journalist - heavy with references and quotes to literary and cultural figures, which I found dulled the potency of the personal exploration and revelations. I cried in the last few pages as she birthed her baby boy with many unexpected turns and great inner experience, and it was well told but I still think my crying said more about where I’m at in life than her writing. Still, it was a well written and thoroughly explored ruminating sort of journey that encouraged my own reflections, albeit while not accounting for many of my own concerns. A worthwhile piece of writing to exist in the world.
June 29, 2025
A series of essays detailing the author’s experience of 9 months of pregnancy, written with a connection to the creative world as the author connects the experience to Sylvia Plath, Frida Kahlo, Mary Shelley and others. This was beautifully, lyrically written and there were some descriptions of pregnancy that I really resonated with (the fear, the first kicks, the sense of otherness at times etc) but overall I didn’t connect with this as much as I would have liked. I felt most connected with the author’s own wait for something to happen as the nine months drew to a close, understandable as that’s where I am now - the cusp of something ending, and another wild beginning. Would have loved an extra essay about the author’s experience of newborn life and postpartum.
May 16, 2017
‘Immediately, poignantly, gripping…magnificent.’
Zoe Williams, Guardian
‘Thoughtful and entertaining…Ramaswamy manages to take the blindingly obvious…and turn it into something strange and new.’
Times Literary Supplement
‘Drawing on Sylvia Plath, Susan Sontag and Gustave Courbet’s dramatic The Origin of the World, Chitra explores the heightened sense of her pregnant body. All of which rings with authenticity right up to the agony of birth, the relief of a Caesarean and the bliss of the baby’s first cry.’
Steven Carroll, Sydney Morning Herald
‘Beautifully conceived in a nine-chapter structure pregnant with symbolic meaning, it’s a universal book that should appeal to anyone interested in the human condition, not just those who are expecting.’
SBS Online
Zoe Williams, Guardian
‘Thoughtful and entertaining…Ramaswamy manages to take the blindingly obvious…and turn it into something strange and new.’
Times Literary Supplement
‘Drawing on Sylvia Plath, Susan Sontag and Gustave Courbet’s dramatic The Origin of the World, Chitra explores the heightened sense of her pregnant body. All of which rings with authenticity right up to the agony of birth, the relief of a Caesarean and the bliss of the baby’s first cry.’
Steven Carroll, Sydney Morning Herald
‘Beautifully conceived in a nine-chapter structure pregnant with symbolic meaning, it’s a universal book that should appeal to anyone interested in the human condition, not just those who are expecting.’
SBS Online
January 2, 2020
I am really grateful I read this. Although my own pregnancy was completely unexpected, there were moments I felt almost as though the book were a friend I didn't know I needed. It made me feel sane as another woman experiencing pregnancy as a writer. I spent the first half of my pregnancy in Edinburgh, and I absolutely loved how much Edinburgh and Scotland figured in the book. My only complaint with the book is that I would really have appreciated if it had continued through the 'fourth trimester'. It's the part of pregnancy I am most anxious about and it would have been so refreshing for the book to acknowledge that the story of a woman and her body continues beyond the 'goal' of the birth.
May 10, 2020
2.5/5
I picked this up after reading Chitra Ramaswamy's essay in 'Nasty Women' and while I loved the essay, this book was very disappointing. I wanted the real, authentic and sometimes negative perspective on pregnancy instead of the picture-perfect miracle it is painted to be, however she spoke so much about death and cancer that it was not just repetitive but a real overkill for me. Combine this with not mentioning any happiness about having a baby or starting a family until at least chapter 6/9, as a reader I couldn't help myself questioning if she even wanted/was ready to go through this experience at all. I understand this is a memoir and it may be how some people feel in pregnancy, but it made me feel sorry for her instead of empowered by a woman being able to speak freely about her own opinions that go against the grain.
I really wanted to enjoy this book and give it more stars but I feel like I read a totally different book to the other reviewers.
I picked this up after reading Chitra Ramaswamy's essay in 'Nasty Women' and while I loved the essay, this book was very disappointing. I wanted the real, authentic and sometimes negative perspective on pregnancy instead of the picture-perfect miracle it is painted to be, however she spoke so much about death and cancer that it was not just repetitive but a real overkill for me. Combine this with not mentioning any happiness about having a baby or starting a family until at least chapter 6/9, as a reader I couldn't help myself questioning if she even wanted/was ready to go through this experience at all. I understand this is a memoir and it may be how some people feel in pregnancy, but it made me feel sorry for her instead of empowered by a woman being able to speak freely about her own opinions that go against the grain.
I really wanted to enjoy this book and give it more stars but I feel like I read a totally different book to the other reviewers.
May 28, 2017
My Mum got me this as a gift as I embark on my own pregnancy journey. I experienced many of the same thoughts and feelings and indeed the exact same 12-week scan as the author and felt like this book was so much more revealing than a non-fiction practical guide as it addresses the inner-most thoughts and emotions of everything that is going on, while engaging poignant quotes from famous writers to heighten the experience. Real and delicious and the kind of firsthand account I'd love to achieve - of pregnancy, or indeed anything! I recommend to anyone who is embarking on this miracle journey into motherhood.
August 13, 2019
I’m not currently “expecting”, and nor am I ever likely to be - but regardless I absolutely loved this. Beautifully written, and so interesting - both on the subject of pregnancy and familial relationships (all kinds), but also on Edinburgh and on Scottish & literary history. I devoured it in a day.
August 4, 2017
This book is not just for the pregnant, the hoping-to-be-pregnant or the have-been-pregnant. This book is a glorious exploration of the potential of the female body, with one of the most original and intriguing descriptions of birth ever. A joy to read.
August 20, 2019
No need for me to write a pregnancy memoir. With the slight differences that I’m white, not keen on a home birth and my co-parent is also the child’s father, this book precisely reflects my own experience back to me in far more beautiful prose.
May 17, 2017
n.b i am not pregnant
December 26, 2018
Could not get into this. Not a fan of the “poetic” style. Gave up 105 (phone) pages in.
August 18, 2025
Beautifully written narrative and experience of longing, pregnancy and birth.
December 8, 2025
Lots of beautifully written metaphors.
August 18, 2016
This book articulated so many of the feelings and experiences of pregnancy superbly in ways I had
never heard before. It's so hard not to to talk about pregnancy in cliches but the author really gets under the skin of it with some absolute gems that enabled me to better comprehend my own experience.
It's like a having a brillIant conversation with a friend going through the same thing as you, such a relief from the 'manuals' I read in my first pregnancy. I read this while expecting my second baby, I found reading it a lovely time to 'bump bond' and really stop and be present in my pregnancy for a short while.
I'm now desperate for a follow up on the first year of motherhood to help me put those mish mash of feelings into some kind of shape!
never heard before. It's so hard not to to talk about pregnancy in cliches but the author really gets under the skin of it with some absolute gems that enabled me to better comprehend my own experience.
It's like a having a brillIant conversation with a friend going through the same thing as you, such a relief from the 'manuals' I read in my first pregnancy. I read this while expecting my second baby, I found reading it a lovely time to 'bump bond' and really stop and be present in my pregnancy for a short while.
I'm now desperate for a follow up on the first year of motherhood to help me put those mish mash of feelings into some kind of shape!
December 14, 2016
wow, you know, I really can't fault this.
pregnancy is not only something I know nothing about - it is an area I actively avoid. It kind of gives me an sad, icky kind of feeling, like one life is ending so another can begin (even though I know that is not the case). It's something I feel so removed from. However, when I heard about this book, I knew I had to pick it up. It reminds me why I need to read more non-fiction. You can experience writing that transports as much as it provokes. You can learn, all the while absorbing incredible literature.
Expecting is a transformative book that reflects upon life, birth, death, nature, art and literature. It was a pleasure and a whirlwind. Highly recommended!
pregnancy is not only something I know nothing about - it is an area I actively avoid. It kind of gives me an sad, icky kind of feeling, like one life is ending so another can begin (even though I know that is not the case). It's something I feel so removed from. However, when I heard about this book, I knew I had to pick it up. It reminds me why I need to read more non-fiction. You can experience writing that transports as much as it provokes. You can learn, all the while absorbing incredible literature.
Expecting is a transformative book that reflects upon life, birth, death, nature, art and literature. It was a pleasure and a whirlwind. Highly recommended!
September 21, 2016
Review to follow as soon as I can sit down and write it...
September 13, 2017
A wonderful and empowering read. Ramaswarmy chronicles, in exquisite detail, her nine months of pregnancy, drawing parallels with art, literature, film and nature.
Her written experience of birthing her son, which in a lot of ways mirrored my own, is awe inspiring and captivating.
Her written experience of birthing her son, which in a lot of ways mirrored my own, is awe inspiring and captivating.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews