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The Beauty of Discomfort: How What We Avoid Is What We Need
Why do some people drive change while others are blindsided by it?
Why are some people able to adapt and thrive?
How can we make change easier?
Truly successful people don’t merely tolerate discomfort—they embrace it and seek it out again and again. Business founders and university students, top athletes and couch potatoes, meditation gurus and military leaders all have very different ways of coping with discomfort, but the most successful among them believe that withstanding discomfort is a skill that has helped them in hugely positive ways. Some were forced into discomfort through no choice of their own—a life-altering illness, a business fiasco—while others signed up for it because they had goals they were determined to achieve.
Some degree of discomfort is inherently good for you. It can spur you on, pushing you to test your own limits. Learning to tolerate, and then embrace, discomfort is the foundation for change, for individuals and businesses alike. Becoming comfortable with discomfort won’t just make us more resilient and more successful, however we define success. It will also make us happier.
Why are some people able to adapt and thrive?
How can we make change easier?
Truly successful people don’t merely tolerate discomfort—they embrace it and seek it out again and again. Business founders and university students, top athletes and couch potatoes, meditation gurus and military leaders all have very different ways of coping with discomfort, but the most successful among them believe that withstanding discomfort is a skill that has helped them in hugely positive ways. Some were forced into discomfort through no choice of their own—a life-altering illness, a business fiasco—while others signed up for it because they had goals they were determined to achieve.
Some degree of discomfort is inherently good for you. It can spur you on, pushing you to test your own limits. Learning to tolerate, and then embrace, discomfort is the foundation for change, for individuals and businesses alike. Becoming comfortable with discomfort won’t just make us more resilient and more successful, however we define success. It will also make us happier.
298 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 4, 2017
65 people are currently reading
907 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
April 27, 2017
I had great hopes for "The Beauty of Discomfort" as I am a self-improvement junkie and this book was released at a time when I was undergoing a great change in my life. I expected to find some solace, direction or connection in Amanda Lang's latest and was sure that I was going love it, but that wasn't the case.
Perhaps it's because I have read a plethora of books on the topics of fear and anxiety and on opposite topics - love and mindfulness - that this book made me yawn. I didn't learn anything new and the individual examples (akin to reading case studies) of change and discomfort in each chapter seemed to drag on. There were a few that kept my attention (I'm a big uber and NBA fan so I wasn't tempted to skim read those) but overall I wouldn't have actually finished this book if I didn't receive it as an advanced reader copy from HarperCollins Canada (thanks folks!); I was committed to giving an honest review.
Now, this book might have a bigger impact on someone who is exploring the topic of discomfort and navigating change for the first time but, with all the weighty examples, the "how to's" for dealing with discomfort get lost in the mix. It's interesting enough if a person isn't looking to dig deep into themselves, but instead just wants a general overview of what they can do when they feel stuck in life. A self-help book would certainly be more conducive to achieving lasting successful change.
Perhaps it's because I have read a plethora of books on the topics of fear and anxiety and on opposite topics - love and mindfulness - that this book made me yawn. I didn't learn anything new and the individual examples (akin to reading case studies) of change and discomfort in each chapter seemed to drag on. There were a few that kept my attention (I'm a big uber and NBA fan so I wasn't tempted to skim read those) but overall I wouldn't have actually finished this book if I didn't receive it as an advanced reader copy from HarperCollins Canada (thanks folks!); I was committed to giving an honest review.
Now, this book might have a bigger impact on someone who is exploring the topic of discomfort and navigating change for the first time but, with all the weighty examples, the "how to's" for dealing with discomfort get lost in the mix. It's interesting enough if a person isn't looking to dig deep into themselves, but instead just wants a general overview of what they can do when they feel stuck in life. A self-help book would certainly be more conducive to achieving lasting successful change.
February 16, 2020
I was drawn in by the title of this book. I've been working on not just tolerating discomfort in my own life but accepting and allowing it as well. I had assumed this book would provide practical tips for handling discomfort in everyday situations. Instead, Long spends chapter after chapter profiling people who have gone through extreme discomfort: from a woman who lost her sight as a teenager to an ultra-marathoner who pushes through a brutal foot infection while running across the Atacama Desert. And while these stories were somewhat interesting, they were as far removed from my own reality as an account of a Martian's struggles with discomfort would be.
I get the point Long is trying to make in this book: if these people can handle inordinate discomfort and come out better for the experience, surely we can handle the mildly uncomfortable situations in our own lives, right? This may be true, but comparing apples to oranges rarely has the desired effect. I ended up growing more and more frustrated as the book wore on, and I was relieved when I finished it--albeit no better equipped to navigate my own encounters with discomfort than I was when I began.
I get the point Long is trying to make in this book: if these people can handle inordinate discomfort and come out better for the experience, surely we can handle the mildly uncomfortable situations in our own lives, right? This may be true, but comparing apples to oranges rarely has the desired effect. I ended up growing more and more frustrated as the book wore on, and I was relieved when I finished it--albeit no better equipped to navigate my own encounters with discomfort than I was when I began.
September 20, 2018
One of those book that you can re-read over again to remind yourself of the mindset you should be in when you're at a place of discomfort. Providing a lot of situational cases, the author takes aim to help you understand it directly without sugar coating. This book covers more of discomfort told through other people's experiences and stories. The message being you just have to reframe your mind at times - get through the pain.
Two great parts that summarizes it all...
"Turning away from the discomfort of change is tempting, of course, because you're turning away from the risk and the possibility of embarrassment and failure. But you're also turning away from the opportunity to stretch yourself, test yourself, and grow. You're turning away from the possibility - the likelihood - that change will be for the better (and even if it isn't, you will almost certainly learn something worthwhile)."
"...whether the answer is to reframe the discomfort, or ignore it, or lean into it, or reinvent yourself, or enlist help, or simply dive in at the deep end, there is an answer that will take you from "Why change?" to "But how?""
Two great parts that summarizes it all...
"Turning away from the discomfort of change is tempting, of course, because you're turning away from the risk and the possibility of embarrassment and failure. But you're also turning away from the opportunity to stretch yourself, test yourself, and grow. You're turning away from the possibility - the likelihood - that change will be for the better (and even if it isn't, you will almost certainly learn something worthwhile)."
"...whether the answer is to reframe the discomfort, or ignore it, or lean into it, or reinvent yourself, or enlist help, or simply dive in at the deep end, there is an answer that will take you from "Why change?" to "But how?""
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 28, 2021
As someone who is in a transformative period of my life, this book gave me the courage to (ironically) become comfortable with discomfort.
The Beauty of Discomfort isn’t overwhelmingly filled with statistics and facts, which I really appreciate. Lang touches base on the neurological process behind discomfort and even uses some scientific research to prove her argument (that growth starts when comfort ends).
Such an easy and interesting read. I also love Lang’s writing style. I definitely recommend this book!
The Beauty of Discomfort isn’t overwhelmingly filled with statistics and facts, which I really appreciate. Lang touches base on the neurological process behind discomfort and even uses some scientific research to prove her argument (that growth starts when comfort ends).
Such an easy and interesting read. I also love Lang’s writing style. I definitely recommend this book!
May 13, 2017
I agree with the premise of this book and I think that it starts off strong, but I feel that it ended a bit weak. That said I do believe that discomfort is necessary to avoid complacency and to be truly engaged.
March 6, 2020
I never write review but that book was so boring. It's not well search (some study say, yay mindfullness, bla bla bla). Not in my interest. So long for nothing. I could have been resume by try harder.
December 9, 2018
I wanted to like this book but I found it to be well researched but tedious and narrow in scope. Lang tries to convince us to move out of our comfort zones but spends most of her time profiling athletes with Olympian credentials or fearless entrepreneurs who are unafraid of losing millions. What about us ordinary folk who just want to.improve and enrich our lives? The only truly riveting story was that of Maher Arar and he apparently has PTSD, a condition which I believe goes far beyond discomfort. What a rarefied world Lang must live in! I wish I had read The Year of Saying Yes instead.
February 22, 2021
Had a really hard time getting through this book. I have not learned anything ground breaking. I also had a hard time with the writing style and content. This is a compilation of various case studies supporting the main concept - which is, in a nutshell, hard work or stepping outside of your comfort zone, as uncomfortable as it is, pays off. Not only have I been taught this since infancy - I've also learned this through my own life's experiences early on. I think maybe this is a good book for the younger generation who needs other people's examples when there is little to draw upon from your own just yet?
December 18, 2023
This book made me walk on the treadmill for an hour straight at max incline 😂 it was really motivating to understand why discomfort is important for us and why it helps us grow. Also an easy to follow book.
April 23, 2017
I liked The Power of Why more probably because it was new to me, whereas the message of this book, be comfortable being uncomfortable" is something I've been practicing for about 8 years.
I also hate that she physically describes almost every person she uses as a case study. Aka "with flieing golden hair and wide blue eyes..." barf.
I also hate that she physically describes almost every person she uses as a case study. Aka "with flieing golden hair and wide blue eyes..." barf.
May 22, 2017
When I first picked up this book, I was excited to discover the psychology behind dealing with discomfort and how one can "get comfortable being uncomfortable" to grow and learn. Less than halfway through this book, however, I was disappointed, for two main reasons: one, the book gives way too many examples of different people in different situations, which is interesting at first, but very quickly becomes exhausting to read, because you have to first learn the background and context of the situation. Two, there is not much of the psychology explained to be able to apply it to your own story. Overall, I wouldn't recommend it, unless you want to read multiple stories of different experiences, and even then, it's a bit too long.
September 27, 2017
Amanda proves her point about discomfort by telling stories of people who have endured through their challenging achievements. She made sure the stories were sufficiently different to cover most aspects of discomfort. After finishing the book, it was clear to me that discomfort is actually a personal game changer, but there is no beauty in it. So, "Discomfort" would be enough as a title.
It was a pleasure to read the book. The text was really straight, written in a journalistic style, almost like a modern documentary, crafted to attract reader's attention.
It was a pleasure to read the book. The text was really straight, written in a journalistic style, almost like a modern documentary, crafted to attract reader's attention.
October 5, 2017
Athletes are advised to "work through the pain" and this book deals with all types of discomfort; physical, mental, and emotional. Lang offers elaborate stories about people who have overcome adversity to achieve their goals, and while they range in background, for me all of the athlete-centred chapters were a bit of a snore. Lang goes into almost too much detail in some cases. This is one of those books you pick up expecting that it will offer clear guidelines as to how to overcome your own difficulties but ultimately it just tells you about how other people did it.
September 18, 2017
This book felt like a series of podcasts. The writing was fine, but the majority of the stories were centred around sports and business, two things I have very little interest in. It felt a bit formulaic; find social psychology research that supports the idea of discomfort as positive, find a person whose life is a good example of this point, and voila! I could have read one chapter and got the whole thing.
March 14, 2018
Really want to like a Canadian author but I felt this book fell short. It's a series of semi-motivational stories about different Canadians and how they overcame obstacles using mindfulness, positive mindset, perseverance. Not sure if anything new is here and it's more biographical than scientific (not saying one is better/worse than the other). So if you are looking for feel good stories and new to the field of positive psychology/meditation/spirituality then this may be worth checking out.
sampled-for-work
January 28, 2017I read: 71 pages
June 13, 2019
I decided to read this in hopes it would help with my anxiety. I was all for reading a book about the different ways in which one can reframe and manage discomfort to be happier, whether this discomfort is physical, mental, psychological, whatever. Mostly, I got what I came for.
The book is divided into ten parts, all of which follow pretty much the same format: the title announces how the chapter will address discomfort, and Lang starts by telling the story of someone who has overcome their discomfort in a given situation one way or the other. Then, she ends the chapter by relating the story more directly to how us, the readers, can take this information and apply it to our own lives. I found the format relatively efficient, but here’s the thing: I would have loved more diversity in terms of the examples of discomfort explored. The stories were mostly about discomfort as it relates to businessmen and businesswomen and athletes. In fact, maaaany stories were about athletes. Now, I’m myself pretty uninterested in sports in general, yet still found those parts interesting to a certain extent. Lang does a good job at linking discomfort as it relates to athletes to general discomfort that everybody experiences. Nonetheless, I eventually grew tired of reading about athletes’ discomfort. Namely, I would have loved a story or two discussing examples of people overcoming mental health challenges specifically. The book touches on the topic of mental health, obviously, but never tells a story of someone whose discomfort was primarily a mental health or disorder issue. I was hoping for that, and didn’t get it.
The book is divided into ten parts, all of which follow pretty much the same format: the title announces how the chapter will address discomfort, and Lang starts by telling the story of someone who has overcome their discomfort in a given situation one way or the other. Then, she ends the chapter by relating the story more directly to how us, the readers, can take this information and apply it to our own lives. I found the format relatively efficient, but here’s the thing: I would have loved more diversity in terms of the examples of discomfort explored. The stories were mostly about discomfort as it relates to businessmen and businesswomen and athletes. In fact, maaaany stories were about athletes. Now, I’m myself pretty uninterested in sports in general, yet still found those parts interesting to a certain extent. Lang does a good job at linking discomfort as it relates to athletes to general discomfort that everybody experiences. Nonetheless, I eventually grew tired of reading about athletes’ discomfort. Namely, I would have loved a story or two discussing examples of people overcoming mental health challenges specifically. The book touches on the topic of mental health, obviously, but never tells a story of someone whose discomfort was primarily a mental health or disorder issue. I was hoping for that, and didn’t get it.
August 26, 2017
I read this book since Amanda Lang is one of my favourite journalists and I enjoyed her first book, The Power of Why. This novel follows a similar layout, consisting of observations about resilience supported by Canadian and international stories as an example. However, I found her second book to be a lot less-exciting. Perhaps Amanda is more busy in her newer role on Bloomberg TV but many of the lessons throughout the ten chapters seemed very obvious and lacking substantial insight. The stories seemed far more generic and felt like a compilation of articles one would read in the newspaper. I felt another lacking aspect of the book was that it didn't include negative outcomes of a high tolerance to discomfort. There are probably scenarios where discomfort signifies negative headwinds that one should actively avoid. Overall I felt that the book would be worth a read if it was around 50% shorter in length purely for the Canadian stories.
January 11, 2018
Well written and full of captivating and inspiring stories.
I would give it 5 stars except that I disagree with the chapter on Denial as I don't believe denial is a good strategy for anyone to overcome a challenge. Certainly refraiming your discomfort or depersonalizing criticism can be beneficial, but I think referring to it as denial or encouraging denial is a slippery slope. I.e. Linda knew what her colleagues were saying about her and she wasn't in denial about it she just didn't take it personally.
I would give it 5 stars except that I disagree with the chapter on Denial as I don't believe denial is a good strategy for anyone to overcome a challenge. Certainly refraiming your discomfort or depersonalizing criticism can be beneficial, but I think referring to it as denial or encouraging denial is a slippery slope. I.e. Linda knew what her colleagues were saying about her and she wasn't in denial about it she just didn't take it personally.
November 12, 2022
This book is an amazing read. It is very inspirational. The stories in this book uplift the reader, and encourages the reader to not avoid discomfort or our fears, but to except them head on, reflect, and use all of the wisdom as fuel to accomplish all of our future goals. This was an excellent read, and some of the stories brought me to tears. I also would love to meet some of the people that the author interviewed in order to write this book. This is how powerful the stories were.
May 27, 2017
I picked this book up because of its potential relationship to Grit. It has some useful points about gratitude that are always good to be reminded of. It also makes the connection between discomfort and progress that leads eventually to satisfaction and happiness. Again, a good reminder that hard work is often necessary and generally (but not always) rewarded.
February 21, 2019
I bought the book because I liked the subject matter. It's something that applies to everyone. I took away that experiencing discomfort should not be viewed as a negative but a positive. You can learn so much by what makes you uncomfortable and more importantly how to embrace that discomfort so it becomes a learning experience.
July 11, 2022
Book was ok. Various interesting interviews. Would be good for high school students to read and learn from others experiences about not being afraid of failure or change. But it didn’t live up to what I was hoping for in reading the synopsis. I really enjoyed chapter 6 though on Stanley McChrystal. Ok book overall but not likely one I’ll recommend or read again.
December 24, 2023
This is a well written book that probes why discomfort matters. With our cultural moment focused on happiness and comfort, this book offers an alternative view. And it is convincing.
Yes, it contains a bit too much of a Malcolm Gladwell infusion - let's tell a story - let's generalize from a data set of one. But there are strong sentences and maxims that are important and transformative.
Yes, it contains a bit too much of a Malcolm Gladwell infusion - let's tell a story - let's generalize from a data set of one. But there are strong sentences and maxims that are important and transformative.
August 27, 2017
Motivational stories featuring Canadians who have embraced discomfort in many forms as they face changes and challenges in their lives. Looking forward to hearing the author speak at an upcoming conference.
February 20, 2018
Discomfort is the new comfort. Lang’s thesis urges us to change, to not be content with the status quo. There is a lot to take away from the work and it is well researched, although slightly weakened by the formulaic approach of one case study succeeded by another.
December 16, 2019
Absolutely loved this book! It's filled with real life stories and examples but I found it useful to be able to hear about how placing yourself in uncomfortable situations isn't that bad after all. Very well written and inspiring.
February 11, 2023
This book make you feel like you’re not alone in your journey , the discomfort is inevitable, you need to learn how to embrace it
Two things has caught me and I will keep them forever
1- change is an ongoing process , no end to it
2- the anology of the princess and the frog story
Two things has caught me and I will keep them forever
1- change is an ongoing process , no end to it
2- the anology of the princess and the frog story
July 29, 2018
A well laid out book with relevant, poignant examples for each chapter. As a Canadian, I appreciated the home-grown people and companies featured in the book.
November 15, 2018
An easy and motivational read with many great stories of triumphant successes
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews