Cher and Cher Alike

Clueless #10

by H.B. Gilmour

Her name is Sharon, and she's so totally clueless. Scuffed urban combat boots, a faded pink slip dress, a safety pin in her eyebrow! It's a furious fashion faux pas, perfect for the upcoming costume ball -- except that's how Sharon dresses all the time. Now, suddenly, the grunge goddess sees the error of her ways. She's all "Help me, Cher. I want to be just like you." It's the makeover challenge of a lifetime. But is this really what the world needs now -- another Cher?

Talk about coincidence. For English, Cher's reading Frankenstein, the classic horror hair-raiser about a guy who creates a monster that goes, like, totally postal. And now Cher's creation, Sharon, is turning into a psycho-clone. She's already taken Cher's walk and her talk, and may even take Cher's Baldwin to the ball. Now, that could be a real horror story!

176 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published July 1, 1997

About the author

H. B. Gilmour was a bestselling author of children's books. She grew up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn with her mother and the extended family and fondly remembered writing her very first poem for Arbor Day when she was just eight years old. As a teenager, she moved to Florida to live with her father. She attended college there and then moved back to New York City.

Gilmour’s first publishing job was at E.P. Dutton. In 1964 she joined Bantam Books where she worked as copywriter, editor, and copy chief and as an associate director of marketing. She was married to Bruce Gilmour in 1968. She had a child, Jessica, with him in 1970. They were divorced in 1972. Her first novel "The Trade", a trashy paperback about the publishing business, was published in 1969.

She wrote novelizations (including Saturday Night Fever) and children's books (including Muppets books) while working full-time at Bantam and raising a child on her own. She published her second original novel "So Long, Daddy" in 1985. The artwork for the dust jacket of the hardcover release includes a photo of her daughter, Jessica. Her third novel was "Ask Me If I Care", a book about a teenage girl who gets in with the wrong crowd.

In 1992 she joined the book division at Scholastic, leaving in 1995 to pursue writing full-time. She focused her energy on books for "tweens" and children which is what gave her the most joy.

She met John Johann, whom she would later marry, in 1992. They later moved to Cornwallville in upstate New York where she happily tended to the garden she never had in the city until her death. She died on June 21, 2009 of pneumonia due to complications from lung cancer. She is survived by her husband John, daughter Jessica, stepchildren Wendy and John, Jr. and step-grandchildren Reef, Riley, John Jr. and Jasmine.

Reviews

[Andrew ✝️ · Rating 2 out of 5]

** spoiler alert ** I expected more from H.B. Gilmour when I saw they’d written this one. Gilmour was the author of the movies’ novelization and numerous other books.

In this one, Cher has three tasks: 1.) Picking a horror novel to write a book report about; 2.) Deciding what to wear to the Halloween Bash; and 3.) Giving Karen a makeover and witnessing the aftermath.

I had a review all ready to post, but my phone deleted it without me going to delete it (its stuff like this that makes me want to just use an actual computer for all internet usage). Anyway, what follows is from memory.

I was a bit baffled by the way “Cher” referenced Josh. One moment, he was her brother, another he was her step-brother, and then he was her ex-step-brother. The only one accurate is the last one.

The story as a whole was alright. The first two chapters were slightly garbled, though. Chapter three wasn’t much better. It’s one thing to jump from scene to scene, but from topic to topic is a bit much in such short succession.

By the end of the book, I couldn’t stand Sharon or her decision. I also decided this review would be hidden because of spoilers. At the Halloween Ball, Shar (Sharon’s new nickname) reveals to Cher in the bathroom that she used her for a makeover so she could get some boy’s attention. In the next and final chapter, Cher gives her book report. She writes it in a way that Sharon, and De (Dionne) can see the parallels/similarities between Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein” and her creation in Sharon. Cher mentions how the creation was a truer version of themselves.

I’m supposed to believe Sharon did the makeover because she felt she wanted to be a truer version of herself when one chapter before, she admitted to Cher that she did it to get a boy’s attention?? And a message that it’s okay to change yourself to get someone to like you is supposed to make me like this book?? As if! That is a horrible message!

This book gets two stars. One for the story and one because some of the character’s replies made me laugh.