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Until I Fade

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A collection of taboo, dark shorts.

(A collection of brand new and previously published Kol Anderson taboo shorts. Newly edited and never before seen stories.)

Release Date: July 04, 2016

Don't be Afraid of the Dark

Destiny is a strange thing. It can be fickle at times, and it can make you miss out on incredible connections that would set you on the journey of your lifetime. But the thing is, you'll never know what you missed out on.

Sometimes Destiny takes pity on you and lets you meet the person you are supposed to, at just the right time. When Jensen first saw Liam, he lost his heart. Even if it took him a while to realize that. It's okay, though. He had to grow and learn some more before he was the man Liam needed to save him from a life he was trapped in.

Supernatural forces collide to give Jensen the strength he needs to evolve into the man Liam waited his whole life for, and when their souls finally slam into each other, neither will be the same again.


WARNINGS: VIOLENCE, DUB-CON, NON-CON, ABUSE, VIOLENCE

Slave

It's the worst feeling in the world, seeing him with someone else. There's nothing I wouldn't do, no limits I won't go to get him back. But he won't give me a chance. He won't so much as look at me because he thinks I don't belong to him anymore.
But that's the whole thing.
I don't belong anywhere.
Doesn't matter where I go or who I am with I am always alone. There is something wrong with me, there has to be because no one else seems quite as miserable at being without a master.
But don't we all owe our freedom to something?
People are slaves, aren't they? To their jobs, to their partners, to their children, even to their lifestyles?
We all have those little kinks that we don't tell anyone about, because we think we're going to be judged for them, and because we're slaves to society's rules.
In a world where slavery is the norm I'm a slave to my needs.
To him.
And I need to get him back.

WARNINGS: HARDCORE BDSM, DUB-CON, NON-CON

Sin

Samuel “Sin” Taylor doesn’t know the difference between sex and intimacy, but maybe that’s not his fault. He grew up in a world where it was easier to get physical pleasure than to find love. But as a prostitute working the streets, Sin thinks he’s finally found his true calling. After all sex is the one thing he’s good at, right? But when Isaac enters his life through mere coincidence, Sin finds it a relief to be someone other than Sin.

How long can he keep up the charade?

WARNINGS: DUB-CON, NON-CON, ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DRUG USE

Fugue

Ever felt like the world thinks you're crazy? Welcome to my world. I tried normal, but eventually the truth catches up to you. Thank God for Evan, he believes me. But no man is a saint, and eventually the stories of aliens and tentacles and kidnappings just become too much for anyone to believe anymore.

But I know what happened. I know what they did to me. The voices are calling me back now. They're calling me to be with her, my daughter. And I can't resist it anymore.

WARNINGS: ABUSE, SELF HARM, OFF PAGE NON-CON AND KIDNAPPING, VIOLENCE

330 pages, Paperback

First published July 2, 2016

11 people are currently reading
123 people want to read

About the author

Kol Anderson

38 books377 followers
“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.”
― Oscar Wilde

If you're into the fluffier side of life, you have my blessing but will you please take the next exit. For the rest of you depraved pervs, enjoy your stay ;)

https://www.facebook.com/Kolandersonb...

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5 stars
16 (30%)
4 stars
13 (25%)
3 stars
13 (25%)
2 stars
5 (9%)
1 star
5 (9%)
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
Author 12 books130 followers
July 4, 2016
All that I would like to know is how the world expects me to deal with this level of awesome. Cause I don't have any idea how to cope. I can barely handle one Kol Anderson, let alone four! ❤️

Slave and Sin has been previously published, but after being reedited and prettified it was refreshing getting into them again. Jesse from Slave still breaks my heart all these years later, and Sammy 'Sin' Taylor is still one of Kol's most profound main characters.

Reading Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark and Fugue so closely with Slave and Sin, something became glaringly obvious to me, and that is how much Kol continues to grow and evolve with every story he writes. These two new stories have a distinct literary feel to them, and draws you in with carefully chosen prose and weighed words that build a world so vivid you can't help but lose your soul in it.

I wouldn't mind giving up this reality to exist in a Kol Anderson created universe. Even though it's not possible, he makes it happen for a little while at least while I'm flipping through the pages of his stories and for a moment in time lose and find myself along with his tragically beautiful characters. I'm still trying to find a way to thank him enough.
Profile Image for True Loveislovereview.
2,834 reviews1 follower
July 6, 2016
Until I Fade
This had such a diversity in it that it seems impossible coming from one mind. But the cover says Kol Anderson so it has to be.
Outstanding the sort of short stories. But every.one.was.exceptional !
Often dead is so close you can feel it knocking. Sometimes love is so far away you can feel the desperation. Sometimes the hurt is so strong you can feel it in your core and you think you will die with it. Love goes through pain and pain is an honor
Suddenly, when not expected, some light comes through a crack and the feelings are just a little less heavy.
And then shiiiit hell (or was it heaven?) crashes down.
Awesome read for the ones who love dark stories. Kol is the master (or the slave:) in it.
Profile Image for Danny Tyran.
Author 21 books190 followers
November 14, 2020
I found all these short stories well written, realistic, but depressing. All the characters are either in trouble or unhappy for other reasons (e.g. heartbreak).

In these times of COVID-19, I needed something engaging, but more cheerful than that.
Profile Image for Ed Davis.
2,861 reviews95 followers
November 6, 2019
I just really didn’t like any of these stories. Most of them just seemed to stop without a real ending. I didn’t find the sex particularly exciting or the characters anyone I cared about .
Profile Image for Denise H..
3,236 reviews269 followers
July 27, 2016
*** Deep, dark, demented, deliciously bad. ***
Wow, this is very forbidden material, with abuse, it's non-consensual, severe BDSM, violent, drugs in use, self harming, and it's completely insane. Be sure to take all of the warnings to heart. This is something you begin and you are squirming in your seat, but cannot put it down. Just wow !
You'll be shocked, scared, crying and afraid, each at some point. Beautifully written.
You'll have to try it and see.
=========================
Profile Image for Sue bowdley.
1,449 reviews
March 26, 2018
OMG....Can i give this book ten stars....I love Kol's books and this one is amazing......Slave and Sin i've read before but totally loved re-reading them......Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark was truly amazing but I think (apart from Sin) Fugue was my favourite....Oh my....Poor Jacob went through something...The ending...well...I don't know what to say...I totally didn't expect it to end like that.....A great book and totally upto Kol's standards x
Profile Image for The Novel Approach.
3,094 reviews136 followers
July 29, 2016
Every time I read one of Mr. Anderson’s books, I know I’m about to plunge into a very dark realm. I freaking love it! I am fully immersed in the worlds he creates. It’s like he holds your hand and guides you through the darkness. At the end, you’re either thankfully relieved or shocked into silence. I think what I love most about this author’s writing is his ability to bring you into the story and not let go. Even with the most extreme scenes imaginable, you just can’t look away. His characters are not easily forgotten. They are tragic, yet beautiful.

Until I Fade is a collection of short stories with a diverse mix of characters, themes, each one very different and highly entertaining. Don’t be Afraid of the Dark is something a little different from this author, being that it’s paranormal. We have vampires, rent boys, and a mob boss. All of these ingredients makes for an interesting read and a fascinating ending. We also revisit two previously released stories, Slave and Sin. It was a treat to go back and read these characters again. They are incredible stories that remind me of why I love this author. Last but not least we have Fugue. I wasn’t too sure where this story was headed, but by the time it dawned on me what was going on, I got body slammed by an ending I was not expecting.

Again, read every word in the blurb. Kol Anderson writes very, very dark; his style won’t be for everyone. But if you’ve never read Kol Anderson, be it because he’s new to you or because of the intimidating author/publisher warnings, I would recommend starting here. From paranormal to psychological, clever twists and turns, this anthology has it all. You won’t be disappointed.

Reviewed by Lynn for The Novel Approach Reviews
Profile Image for Denise H..
3,236 reviews269 followers
July 27, 2016
*** Deep, dark, demented, deliciously bad. ***
Wow, this is very forbidden material, with abuse, it's non-consensual, severe BDSM, violent, drugs in use, self harming, and it's completely insane. Be sure to take all of the warnings to heart. This is something you begin and you are squirming in your seat, but cannot put it down. Just wow !
You'll be shocked, scared, crying and afraid, each at some point. Beautifully written.
You'll have to try it and see.
=========================
Profile Image for AGandyGirl.
768 reviews1 follower
April 8, 2018
It dawned on me about halfway through this that I had read another book by this author that did not go well AT ALL. Happy to say this was much better overall. But man was this everything the warnings indicate and more. This was utterly disturbing but I found myself unable to put this down.

There are 4 stories in this anthology as follows:

Don't be Afraid of the Dark - 3 Stars

This one has some pretty sadistic torture with a vampire plot. For much of the story I was left scratching my head how the story would merge but I loved when it did. I did think the story overall ended way too quickly and I wanted another turning and vampire bonding to close this one out.

Slave - 2 Stars

Phew...this was was sadistic and full of some pretty awful torture. Again, it ended abruptly.

Sin - 4 Stars

This one is easily the most disturbing of the 4. Good lord this poor kid was self destructive and so abused. Note that this one includes rape, incest and some pretty heavy drug use. But overall I felt this one was the best of the 4 and had the most character development and craziest ending.

Fugue - 2.5 Stars

This was was just weird and yet written in a way that leaves you wondering what was real and what was not. Not a lot of torture in this one but more possible alien abduction.

Overall, these are written better than the book I had previously read by this author and overall I was pulled in and unable to set this down. Note that while this is full of non-con sexual situations there is no detailed sex in these stories. Overall everything is implied and handled without getting into the specific acts themselves which helped me a lot.

Overall a 3 Star read for the book, with stories ranging from 2-4 Stars.
Profile Image for Blue.
239 reviews2 followers
April 8, 2017
4 Shortish stories. In my head, short stories don't have chapters. 4 very different from each other shortish stories, each of which left me wanting more, in a "don't let this end" kind of way. Deliciously different and not a little deviant too.
Profile Image for Caroline Brand.
1,755 reviews68 followers
July 12, 2016
REVIEWED FOR PRISM BOOK ALLIANCE

4.5 Stars

Don’t be Afraid of the Dark

This first story had a bit of everything; a rent boy, a bit of kink, a mob boss and then Vampires – not many people could successfully include all that in a short story and pull it off but Kol does and he does it well.

Jensen is my favourite type of character in that he just wants to be loved – don’t we all? Dumped by his latest married man he spots Liam, an angel in his eyes, and is immediately smitten. Liam is new to the area, new to the bar and he has ended up in the sights of Austin, mob boss and all round bad guy, but Liam has almost lost the will to live so it doesn’t seem too bad when he strikes a deal.

This story is a little crazy from there on out. Jensen is dragged away by a Vampire and Liam becomes a virtual prisoner and let me tell you when he breaks the rules there are harsh consequences! It’s like popping down the rabbit hole in true Kol Anderson fuckery!

Slave

Jesse and his despair jump off the page at you in this one – that’s Kol’s writing for you! He has lost everything that is important, his beloved Sir has moved on and left him without much of an explanation.

To add to the pain in his heart he gets together with a notorious sadist who isn’t known for playing nice. Noah is everything you don’t want in a Dom but Jesse is desperate and craving and easily led into a stupid and dangerous situation.

This story was compelling with a clever twist, Jesse is not as daft as he seems, but Jesse was the only character I liked. Noah was awful but then he was written that way and Matt was a douche who didn’t know a good thing when he had it!

Sin

I previously reviewed Sin for Prism. To see what I had to say please search for it on my shelves.

Fugue

Ok this one did me in!! I had absolutely no clue where it was going or how it was going to end which to me says very clever writing as I am usually quick to pick up on the direction of a story.

Jacob is really put through the mill in this one, even by Kol’s standards which are usually pretty harsh, and even when I finished I wasn’t entirely sure what had happened but one thing is for sure it didn’t quite finish the way I expected!

If you are a fan of Kol Anderson and the dark words he puts on the page then this anthology will be perfect for you.
Profile Image for Lark.
9 reviews
July 13, 2016
Kol starts out gently, his voice like a lover’s tempting whisper in the dark. His poetry sets the stage for what will be four very different stories within an extremely well-written anthology, and the tone carries on throughout. There’s desperation and hope, desolation and solace; there’s pain and relief, peace and terror. It all goes on through these pages. There are similarities in the four stories, but overall, they couldn’t be more different.

There’s an almost dreamlike quality to these stories, something that lures you in and refuses to let you go until the end. I found myself highlighting line after line of beautiful words that appealed to me and I wanted to remember.

In Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, we get a taste of the paranormal set against the backdrop of a world that seems grim for the characters involved. I want to know more about the characters and the world; my only complaint is that I’m not a huge fan of insta-love angles. But this line: “I don’t need you to feel sorry for me, that’s not what I want. I want you to love me” more than made up for it.

Slave follows the path of a broken-hearted sub whose master turned his back on him, and he tries to find solace anywhere and everywhere he can. There’s a surreal feeling to the entire peace, as though I’m in a dream that I can’t fully awake from. I’m not sure what I like better -- the opening poem or the story itself. I loved Jesse, and everything he did felt real throughout the entire piece.

And then there was Sin. Sin isn’t for the faint of heart -- and while I don’t consider myself particularly faint of heart, I think mine broke all the same. Those with issues involving incest and rape should steer clear of this one completely. There’s just enough hope to keep my heart from being completely crushed, but I noted at this point that the anthology is steadily darkening.

Finally, there’s Fugue. Fugue isn’t my type of story, but it’s an interesting one all the same. It follows a young man who believes he’s been tortured by aliens and his doctor, who’s desperate to help someone he feels has been failed by others. There are points where you can’t be sure if it’s a sci-fi short or a short on the effects of mental illness, but either way, the effect is profound.

Overall, the taboos mentioned in the tags and above are very much a present part of the stories, but they aren’t dwelled upon for too long. There’s just enough detail to let you know what’s going on, and then Anderson continues with the story: because this is all about the story, not the taboos.

Beautiful writing.

I loved it! (Even if it is going to haunt me for a while)


Reviewed for The Dark Arts MM Erotica
Profile Image for Diverse.
1,179 reviews53 followers
July 14, 2016
Until I Fade is a compilation of short stories written by Kol Anderson. Kol is a dark writer often touching on taboo topics and pushing boundaries. He’s mastered it actually. If someone was interested in reading his work and had never read anything by him before I’d highly suggest Until I Fade.

First off you get short stories, he touches on all the areas he writes. It’s almost like sampling his novels. They are just long enough where you get a terrific story but by the time that haunting feeling creeps up you’re on to the next piece.

A lot of times with short stories written by the same author you experience monotony. But not with this. Each was very different. You might like a story more than another. That’s the great thing about this. You get a creative sampling of what Kol is capable of.

If you’re a Kol fan, get it you know you’ll love it. If you’ve wanted to read him but lived in fear, get it. You will understand him better and be wildly entertained.
Profile Image for Alexandra Westwood-banham.
37 reviews2 followers
July 14, 2016
When i heard Kol Anderson was releasing a new book i couldn't wait, when i found out it was a 4 book set i might have wee'd myself a little in the excitement :)
I loved each and everyone of them although Sin was my favourite Sammi is coming to live with me.
If you've read Kol Anderson's book before you know what precautions to put in place. If not i'd recommend bubble wrapping your kindle it not only waterproofs but add a level of protection should you feel the need to throw it. A long sleeved top to wipe your nose and eyes and someone on hand to hug you when your done. He has a habit of destroying you and leaving you in little pieces.
And I Love It !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Man's a Genius <3 <3 <3
Profile Image for Ajumi.
172 reviews18 followers
July 17, 2016
Don't be afraid of the dark: 2 stars
Slave: Previously read
Sin: Previously read
Fugue: 3 stars

Conclusion:
I wasn't convinced by the two new stories. Don't be afraid of the dark completely lacked Kol Andersons normally so masterful writing. It was too heavy on the story side, with too much going on and really unbelievable.
Fugue wasn't bad, it was an intereresting read. However, it felt incomplete.

So, if you have read Sin and slave previously, I would'nt recommend this anthology. However, if you haven't, the it's a completely different story, for I loved both, Sin AND Slave, when I read them. They have great writing and a really interesting storyline. Also, this anthology costs less (date: 17.07.16 for Germany) than the books seperate, so it is a good deal.
Profile Image for J.
3,104 reviews50 followers
July 11, 2016
Kol Anderson is a very, very dark M/M author. There are four stories in this anthology, two of which I liked and two I didn't hence an in the middle type rating. "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" = Vampire, not my cup of tea. "Slave" = D/s story that was great (a wily little sub). "Sin"= A rent boy finding love (a good story but I'll admit I'm not sure I fully understood it). Fugue = Alien abduction, not my cup of tea.
Profile Image for Monica.
274 reviews3 followers
October 1, 2016
It is a collection of shorts and I started with Sin...it was amazing...then it ended and I thought WHAT!?!? Am I missing the last few pages or what, because this can't be the end.
But it is Kol, so yeah...it can. :)
Until I fade is an emotional roller coaster ride with great stories.
Thank you Louis for the recommendation!
Profile Image for Deanna Wiley.
217 reviews3 followers
October 5, 2016
Where to begin Kol usually rips your heart out and fixes it (sometimes) but to do it 4 times I'm not sure how my heart made it out in one piece... Saying that this was a great book, I usually don't do books like this but there was never a dull moment a real page turner....Until I fade keeps you guess what is gonna happen next I didn't it coming love books like this
Profile Image for Denise White.
2,020 reviews
December 13, 2016
Um?

Let me start by saying I read this book in one setting...I couldn't put it down...the writing was Exceptional....I guess I didn't really feel any completion of the stories I read... I wanted more...or at least some closure...This was the first work I've read by this author and I really don't know what to think...I will read more tho for sure...
Profile Image for Candice.
1,166 reviews7 followers
July 18, 2016
This collection of short stories will leave you wanting more. There's a good combination of paranormal, dark romance, and psychological thriller. My favorite was 'Slave', a story I won't soon forget.
5,704 reviews38 followers
November 27, 2016
this one was decent. i enjoyed most the stories btu wish they had been more and longer. but good read
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews

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