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Bedfellows
Jack Schiavone wants to rebuild his life after an embezzlement scandal saw him drummed out of his high-paying advertising job. So he’s reinvented himself as “Mr. Mattress,” a discount bedding franchisee in Ebbets Beach, Brooklyn. Running a mattress store is a nice, quiet life—until Jack gets sucked into a simmering mob war that pits an ambitious Russian crime boss against a softening Italian don. Soon everyone is “going to the mattresses.” Jack falls for the don’s gorgeous black-sheep daughter, a legal aid attorney, making him the target of a jealous wise guy/lounge singer who’s fixated on her too. And his new store manager—the don’s gentle, stamp collecting, cottage cheese–eating former consigliere—proves as good at selling mattresses as he was at cooking the books for the mob. Then the Russians put on a show of force, and the don’s only recourse is to call on the world’s worst hit a mild-mannered chiropractor with an innovative killing technique. When the smoke clears, who will be the don of Ebbets Beach?
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First published October 16, 2012
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
April 14, 2013
A quite amusing little mob tale. A bit slow at times, bogged down by a lot of back stories, but very full of different characters and it all comes together in the end. A fun book.
January 31, 2018
Its short chapters read like a series of tiny vignettes, but the whole story comes together in an unexpectedly charming way.
October 27, 2012
Bob Garfield's Bedfellows (Thomas & Mercer 2012) is not what you'd expect from a title that promises a mob-laced thriller. It's humorous, personal, and sometimes long-winded with none of the in-your-face villainy and violence that usually typifies mobs stories. The summary in the forward says it all:
A Neighborhood. A Mob. A Girl. A Boy. Another Girl. Another Mob. A HItman. A Hitwoman. A recession. A Chiropractor. And a Twist.
That's all it took for me to curl into my double-wide reading chair, tea at my elbow, and dig in. A down-and-out Wall Street exec opens a mattress store in a mob-controlled beach town. He talks the mob enforcer out of making him pay the monthly protection money, falls in love with the don's daughter, and gets recruited to help stop a violent Russian mob that wants the town's 'enforcement' business.
Garfield, in what seems to be his fiction debut (before this, he wrote advertising-related tomes), does great character sketches. I can see Jack Schiavone as Mr. Mattress, Big Manny as the mob's second-in-command, Little Manny as his inept but passionate son. There are twenty-four character introductions in the first sixty-one pages, each sketch made memorable with humor and clever phrases, enough so that I manage to keep track of what normally would be an unwieldy cast for a thriller.
The plot is a late bloomer. By page eighty-two, I was wondering if the story might be merely a humorous romp through the not-so-seamy underbelly of a failing mob town (which doesn't interest me). By page one hundred twenty, I got a sniff of the plot and then it was off like a hitman's 9mm bullet. The action is clever, unusual, the storyline unique, and the conclusion satisfying. I like the retro chapter headings (also used by Carsten Stroud in Niceville) like 'Kick in the Head' and 'Yes and No'. Garfield has an authentic and quirky sense of humor in his story telling. Consider:
Mr. Mattress puzzled over: if the plot was as Doe incautiously described, how in the world would the gang that couldn't hire straight get the Russian menace on a chiropractor's table?
He looked like Bobby Kennedy at a costume party, dressed as the lunar lander
The don then did something that everybody in the move does but you hardly ever see in real life. He screwed up his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. Fatigue, physical and nervous, was taking its toll.
My recommendation: Enjoy the first hundred pages knowing that soon thereafter the action is going to run away with your time.
A Neighborhood. A Mob. A Girl. A Boy. Another Girl. Another Mob. A HItman. A Hitwoman. A recession. A Chiropractor. And a Twist.
That's all it took for me to curl into my double-wide reading chair, tea at my elbow, and dig in. A down-and-out Wall Street exec opens a mattress store in a mob-controlled beach town. He talks the mob enforcer out of making him pay the monthly protection money, falls in love with the don's daughter, and gets recruited to help stop a violent Russian mob that wants the town's 'enforcement' business.
Garfield, in what seems to be his fiction debut (before this, he wrote advertising-related tomes), does great character sketches. I can see Jack Schiavone as Mr. Mattress, Big Manny as the mob's second-in-command, Little Manny as his inept but passionate son. There are twenty-four character introductions in the first sixty-one pages, each sketch made memorable with humor and clever phrases, enough so that I manage to keep track of what normally would be an unwieldy cast for a thriller.
The plot is a late bloomer. By page eighty-two, I was wondering if the story might be merely a humorous romp through the not-so-seamy underbelly of a failing mob town (which doesn't interest me). By page one hundred twenty, I got a sniff of the plot and then it was off like a hitman's 9mm bullet. The action is clever, unusual, the storyline unique, and the conclusion satisfying. I like the retro chapter headings (also used by Carsten Stroud in Niceville) like 'Kick in the Head' and 'Yes and No'. Garfield has an authentic and quirky sense of humor in his story telling. Consider:
Mr. Mattress puzzled over: if the plot was as Doe incautiously described, how in the world would the gang that couldn't hire straight get the Russian menace on a chiropractor's table?
He looked like Bobby Kennedy at a costume party, dressed as the lunar lander
The don then did something that everybody in the move does but you hardly ever see in real life. He screwed up his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. Fatigue, physical and nervous, was taking its toll.
My recommendation: Enjoy the first hundred pages knowing that soon thereafter the action is going to run away with your time.
Read
August 23, 2015We heard Bob Garfield plugging this book on his Lexicon Valley podcast. He said that he had had an idea for a movie: what would happen to the mafia during a time of economic downturn? He told his idea to a friend of his in the movie business. The friend said, well, no, we're not interested, but if there were a book, perhaps, and the book were successful… So Garfield wrote the book.
Garfield, obviously, is a very smart man. At least that is obvious to anyone who has listened to him debate the intricacies of language usage on Lexicon Valley. And he uses all his resources of cleverness in writing this comic crime novel. There are silly situations, such as the gangsters going into a rendezvous wearing undersized cowboy hats, such as everything about the gangsters selling Amway, such as a little old lady having to be physically taken down at Bingo. And there are witty jokes, some of them such bad puns they are groaners. OK, maybe most of the jokes are groaners. But the book is funny.
I thought it was maybe a bit hard to follow. The sheer number of characters alone could be a challenge to keep straight: Don Donato, Big Manny, Little Manny, Tony the Teeth, Casper, the Accountant, Jack Schiavone (the new guy in town, also known as Mr. Mattress), Angela, Tina, and all of the merchants of Ebbets Beach, including the Reyes brothers, who run competing pizza shops, the old barber with a parrot, and the Korean dry cleaner owner who speaks in Korean (printed in Korean script). And that's only the half of it.
The gist of the story is that things are going poorly for the cash-strapped Italian mob, who are moving in the direction of becoming a kindler, gentler neighborhood support organization. Then the Russian mob starts to move in. They are brutally violent in the old way. In order to hold onto their territory, the Italians have to stop the Russians. But they are not only poor, but have become soft and bumbling. What will happen?
The actual resolving of that plot doesn't really get going until the second half of the book, maybe the last third. There's an awful lot of setting up, revealing of background, and introduction of characters. But that exposition, as I said, is clever and witty.
I could see this book as a movie. If it ever becomes a movie, remember, you read it here first.
Garfield, obviously, is a very smart man. At least that is obvious to anyone who has listened to him debate the intricacies of language usage on Lexicon Valley. And he uses all his resources of cleverness in writing this comic crime novel. There are silly situations, such as the gangsters going into a rendezvous wearing undersized cowboy hats, such as everything about the gangsters selling Amway, such as a little old lady having to be physically taken down at Bingo. And there are witty jokes, some of them such bad puns they are groaners. OK, maybe most of the jokes are groaners. But the book is funny.
I thought it was maybe a bit hard to follow. The sheer number of characters alone could be a challenge to keep straight: Don Donato, Big Manny, Little Manny, Tony the Teeth, Casper, the Accountant, Jack Schiavone (the new guy in town, also known as Mr. Mattress), Angela, Tina, and all of the merchants of Ebbets Beach, including the Reyes brothers, who run competing pizza shops, the old barber with a parrot, and the Korean dry cleaner owner who speaks in Korean (printed in Korean script). And that's only the half of it.
The gist of the story is that things are going poorly for the cash-strapped Italian mob, who are moving in the direction of becoming a kindler, gentler neighborhood support organization. Then the Russian mob starts to move in. They are brutally violent in the old way. In order to hold onto their territory, the Italians have to stop the Russians. But they are not only poor, but have become soft and bumbling. What will happen?
The actual resolving of that plot doesn't really get going until the second half of the book, maybe the last third. There's an awful lot of setting up, revealing of background, and introduction of characters. But that exposition, as I said, is clever and witty.
I could see this book as a movie. If it ever becomes a movie, remember, you read it here first.
January 23, 2016
Bob Garfield's BEDFELLOWS is sure to be the most hysterical book you have ever read about the topics of organized crime and mob warfare. In the tradition of [[ASIN:0451205766 The Godfather]] and [[ASIN:0345441702 The Sicilian]], this book has Dons, hitmen, beautiful women, and corrupt cops. In addition, it has a hitman who has never once killed anyone even by accident, a mob daughter with a much larger bra size than IQ, a sandwich salesman who is a few slices of pepperoni short of a sub, and Amway.
The Donato crime family is in serious trouble. Revenues are declining, the russians are moving in on their turf, and not worst of all, they seem to be losing their edge when it comes to being a feared crime family. Don Donato and his crew of semi-competent mobsters must band together before they lose influence in their own neighborhood...or worse, have to go legit.
The book is almost farcical, the way it portrays the gangsters, mixing stereotypes with complete absurdity. For example, the only hitman the crew can afford is an outrageously stereotyped Jewish chiropractor. But the humor surrounding the violence that goes with any mob story makes the book. Garfield's character dialogue and situation descriptions will keep you smiling (when you aren't flat out laughing).
Definite crude humor, violence and language. More of an "R" than a "PG-13." But definitely a great read.
Fans of Christopher Moore will seriously enjoy this book.
The Donato crime family is in serious trouble. Revenues are declining, the russians are moving in on their turf, and not worst of all, they seem to be losing their edge when it comes to being a feared crime family. Don Donato and his crew of semi-competent mobsters must band together before they lose influence in their own neighborhood...or worse, have to go legit.
The book is almost farcical, the way it portrays the gangsters, mixing stereotypes with complete absurdity. For example, the only hitman the crew can afford is an outrageously stereotyped Jewish chiropractor. But the humor surrounding the violence that goes with any mob story makes the book. Garfield's character dialogue and situation descriptions will keep you smiling (when you aren't flat out laughing).
Definite crude humor, violence and language. More of an "R" than a "PG-13." But definitely a great read.
Fans of Christopher Moore will seriously enjoy this book.
December 31, 2012
Jack Schiavone is starting over after a financial scandal ended his career. He’s now the proud proprietor of Mr. Mattress, a strip mall bedding store in Ebbets Beach, Brooklyn. Unknown to Jack, Ebbets Beach is run and controlled by the mob, in particular the Donato family. He winds up quite close to the family, and the don in particular, when he falls for Angela Donato, the don’s beautiful, independent daughter, and gets involved in a scheme to take down the Russian mob before they can take over Ebbets Beach.
This book was hilarious, and I often got sideways looks during my commute for laughing out loud. I absolutely loved the idea that the recession has hit everyone—even the mob, which has begun to explore selling Amway products as a way to keep their heads above water. At the same time, it was somewhat slow-paced for a crime novel. While it held my interest, events played out at a rather laid-back pace.
Filled with zany characters and lots of good humor, this is a book I recommend.
This book was hilarious, and I often got sideways looks during my commute for laughing out loud. I absolutely loved the idea that the recession has hit everyone—even the mob, which has begun to explore selling Amway products as a way to keep their heads above water. At the same time, it was somewhat slow-paced for a crime novel. While it held my interest, events played out at a rather laid-back pace.
Filled with zany characters and lots of good humor, this is a book I recommend.
June 26, 2013
Bedfellows
Bob Garfield
I had a lot of fun reading this book. I found the characters to be really likeable and their dialogue really added to the development of the whole book. Yes, there is profanity and some crudeness but really it is lighthearted and pretty entertaining for the most part, Also, It’s a quick read because the storyline isn’t intense.
I thought this was a different approach concerning the “mafia” and I found this read to be highly amusing. I hope that there will be a sequel or a continuation of some sort with these characters. I certainly look forward to reading other fiction by Bob Garfield.
Bob Garfield
I had a lot of fun reading this book. I found the characters to be really likeable and their dialogue really added to the development of the whole book. Yes, there is profanity and some crudeness but really it is lighthearted and pretty entertaining for the most part, Also, It’s a quick read because the storyline isn’t intense.
I thought this was a different approach concerning the “mafia” and I found this read to be highly amusing. I hope that there will be a sequel or a continuation of some sort with these characters. I certainly look forward to reading other fiction by Bob Garfield.
October 26, 2012
I heard about this book on Slate's LexiconValley podcast, where the host himself more or less shamelessly plugged it.
Probably less shamelessly, because this is an utterly delightful book, so it deserves to be praised.
The characters are quirky and fun and the plot hilariously exaggerated. I especially loved how every character in there had his own idiosyncrasies - Don Donato and his malapropisms are really just the tip of the iceberg.
In short: I loved the book and I'd strongly urge you to give it a try as well.
Probably less shamelessly, because this is an utterly delightful book, so it deserves to be praised.
The characters are quirky and fun and the plot hilariously exaggerated. I especially loved how every character in there had his own idiosyncrasies - Don Donato and his malapropisms are really just the tip of the iceberg.
In short: I loved the book and I'd strongly urge you to give it a try as well.
August 25, 2013
Probably a 3.5. Not the best book i've ready recently, but totally enjoyable and compelling. I think i wanted this book to be worse than it is, so i could come up with a legitimate reason to stop reading. But alas, it's a solid mob adventure story with ridiculous characters and a well-constructed plot. And bonus, i could often hear bob garfield's voice in my head as the narrator, which was admittedly awesome. Probably a library book, rather than a home shelf book.
July 14, 2013
Very entertaining book. The characters and dialog actually had me laughing out loud during several parts. My only complaint is that for as savage as some of the characters were made to appear, the story wrapped up just a little to neatly. Although, the story's plausibility isn't the selling point to this book. It's the cast that keeps you turning the pages.
March 29, 2016
This book was on sale on the Kindle for $3.00 and I like "On the Media" so I figured I'd see how Bob Garfield was as a fiction writer.
Meh.
It was very funny in parts. Lots of fun characters. The story didn't hold up for me. If you're looking for something fluffy and fun, go for it. Ultimately left me staying up late reading it so I could get it out of the way and on to something else.
Meh.
It was very funny in parts. Lots of fun characters. The story didn't hold up for me. If you're looking for something fluffy and fun, go for it. Ultimately left me staying up late reading it so I could get it out of the way and on to something else.
March 27, 2015
Tom Robbins meets "Goodfellas"
The book started a little slow. He kept trotting out one unbelievable character after another and I started to wonder when was something going to happen. And then it did. And then some more. That's all I'll say on the plot but it was good and frickin' HILARIOUS!
The book started a little slow. He kept trotting out one unbelievable character after another and I started to wonder when was something going to happen. And then it did. And then some more. That's all I'll say on the plot but it was good and frickin' HILARIOUS!
November 3, 2012
After a scandalous leave from an advertising agency, Jack Schiavone opens a Mr. Mattress store on Ebbets Beach. Other characters are members of the mob led by Don Donato and his twin daughters. Hilarious characters, very nicely developing plot, I am enjoying the read very much.
May 19, 2013
I enjoy listening to the podcast Lexicon Valley and the author is one of the hosts. This is a comedic mob story, akin to a TV comedy. I enjoyed the slapstick aspect of the Cozy Nostra's misadventures. Good lighthearted reading.
May 16, 2014
This book was lots of fun to read. His characters talk like real people do (if they were more colorful than most of the people I know). Very inventive and energetic. Something completely different from Bob.
June 13, 2017
Awesome!
Quite a surprise from Bob Garfield. Unexpected twists, humor and silliness. A fresh take on the Italian mob. Few characters could have been more developed, but delightful overall.
Quite a surprise from Bob Garfield. Unexpected twists, humor and silliness. A fresh take on the Italian mob. Few characters could have been more developed, but delightful overall.
March 19, 2013
Well written. Funny story. If you like Michael Moore, but wish he was a more intelligent writer, this is a good book for you.
December 20, 2012
Enjoyable, quick, light reading. I love his Slate podcast.
February 14, 2013
Not bad. Not great. Just "medium."
February 16, 2013
A light, fun read. Definitely the funniest book I have ever read about organized crime.
April 6, 2013
....funny funny funny...great characters...could be a fun TV show
April 22, 2013
A romp through a latter-day New York mobette. Great fun and i amI so glad I learned of this thru author Bob's Slate podcast on language.
August 17, 2014
Hugely entertaining.
July 15, 2015
A delightful fun read that other than getting bogged in backstory a bit was very good. I also have to admit the idea of the Mob selling Amway is genius.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews