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Monogamy with Benefits: How Porn Enriches Our Relationship
Can a couple have sex with other people in a way that deepens their own love for one another? And what essential role might professionals from the adult entertainment industry play in the process? Geri and Jay Hart provide the answers in Monogamy with Benefits: How Porn Enriches Our Relationship, the heartfelt true story of their secret quest for an extraordinary kind of intimacy.
Geri and Jay are two fit, attractive executives who’ve come together in mid-life following divorces from spouses who didn’t share their need to continue growing sexually. Seeking to avoid the pitfalls of their previous relationships, the two lovers decide to be fearlessly honest with one another about their deepest sexual needs and desires. This leads them to embark together upon a progressive and highly unconventional journey of discovery that unfolds around the U.S. in strip clubs, legal brothels, a swinger’s gathering, a sex expo and, ultimately, on the set of the couple’s own professionally produced adult video. By seeing what works for their relationship, as well as what doesn’t, Geri and Jay share sensational adventures they never would have experienced individually, making them all the more eager to spend the rest of their lives together.
Written from both Geri and Jay’s perspectives, in the language real people use to talk about sex, rarely has a book so honestly and fully explored a couple’s intimacy. What is it like to watch your partner with an adult video star? How does one prepare, both physically and psychologically, to participate in a professional porn shoot? And why isn’t commercial sex involving consenting adults more legally and widely available? Admittedly, the approach described in Monogamy with Benefits isn't for everyone, but at a time when an estimated 50% of married individuals engage in infidelity, this book is sure to provoke discussion about how and why traditional social mores and laws inhibit many couples’ ability to “stray together.”
About the authors:
Geri and Jay Hart are the pen names of a married woman and man who serve in executive positions at two well-known organizations in a mid-sized U.S. city. They frequently participate in civic and charitable events and appear in the local media. Although their careers keep Geri and Jay well occupied individually, their top priority is being together. During shared times they enjoy exercising, traveling, eating healthy food, and—of course—exploring and savoring their sexuality. Follow them on Twitter @SexyHappyCouple.
Geri and Jay are two fit, attractive executives who’ve come together in mid-life following divorces from spouses who didn’t share their need to continue growing sexually. Seeking to avoid the pitfalls of their previous relationships, the two lovers decide to be fearlessly honest with one another about their deepest sexual needs and desires. This leads them to embark together upon a progressive and highly unconventional journey of discovery that unfolds around the U.S. in strip clubs, legal brothels, a swinger’s gathering, a sex expo and, ultimately, on the set of the couple’s own professionally produced adult video. By seeing what works for their relationship, as well as what doesn’t, Geri and Jay share sensational adventures they never would have experienced individually, making them all the more eager to spend the rest of their lives together.
Written from both Geri and Jay’s perspectives, in the language real people use to talk about sex, rarely has a book so honestly and fully explored a couple’s intimacy. What is it like to watch your partner with an adult video star? How does one prepare, both physically and psychologically, to participate in a professional porn shoot? And why isn’t commercial sex involving consenting adults more legally and widely available? Admittedly, the approach described in Monogamy with Benefits isn't for everyone, but at a time when an estimated 50% of married individuals engage in infidelity, this book is sure to provoke discussion about how and why traditional social mores and laws inhibit many couples’ ability to “stray together.”
About the authors:
Geri and Jay Hart are the pen names of a married woman and man who serve in executive positions at two well-known organizations in a mid-sized U.S. city. They frequently participate in civic and charitable events and appear in the local media. Although their careers keep Geri and Jay well occupied individually, their top priority is being together. During shared times they enjoy exercising, traveling, eating healthy food, and—of course—exploring and savoring their sexuality. Follow them on Twitter @SexyHappyCouple.
218 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 20, 2016
54 people are currently reading
63 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
July 19, 2016
Is this book just a continuation of the author's exhibitionism?
I gave this book four stars because it was, all in all, a well written book. The author's ideas and experiences were well articulated. They should be well pleased that they represented themselves so well in the written word given their penchant for appearances. After considering their contentions about human sexuality, I am left with a few lingering thoughts of my own. I felt that the female personality for all of her adventurism, seemed truly intent on communicating that she is above all, attractive and fit. Her sexiness was magnified by her watching herself and other people watching her attractive self having sex. It seems the book was a result of the fact that both of them could not put their sex tapes on line to view, so they needed to describe it to us - a sort of "watch us" in words. Even these authors must admit that porn can become seriously boring after the initial visual shock of titillation. Sex can be reduced ( I mean this in a nonjudgmental way) to a pass time like a sport or even a craft to master; or it can be elevated to an art. In my view, the artist communicates with the soul, communes with God, presents the unseen beauty of truth. As opposed to the craftsman whose work is aesthetically pleasing and even functional. True beauty in life is sacred and should be guarded. The authors haphazardly throwout the ideas involving sexual power exchanges. As outrageous as it may sound those relationships seem more sacred to me than multiple partners and exhibitionism. Lastly, the concept of the power and breathless beauty of "mystery" was mentioned in the beginning of the book, even going so far as to quote Albert Einstein on the subject., yet, the glare of the production lights left none for us to savor.
I gave this book four stars because it was, all in all, a well written book. The author's ideas and experiences were well articulated. They should be well pleased that they represented themselves so well in the written word given their penchant for appearances. After considering their contentions about human sexuality, I am left with a few lingering thoughts of my own. I felt that the female personality for all of her adventurism, seemed truly intent on communicating that she is above all, attractive and fit. Her sexiness was magnified by her watching herself and other people watching her attractive self having sex. It seems the book was a result of the fact that both of them could not put their sex tapes on line to view, so they needed to describe it to us - a sort of "watch us" in words. Even these authors must admit that porn can become seriously boring after the initial visual shock of titillation. Sex can be reduced ( I mean this in a nonjudgmental way) to a pass time like a sport or even a craft to master; or it can be elevated to an art. In my view, the artist communicates with the soul, communes with God, presents the unseen beauty of truth. As opposed to the craftsman whose work is aesthetically pleasing and even functional. True beauty in life is sacred and should be guarded. The authors haphazardly throwout the ideas involving sexual power exchanges. As outrageous as it may sound those relationships seem more sacred to me than multiple partners and exhibitionism. Lastly, the concept of the power and breathless beauty of "mystery" was mentioned in the beginning of the book, even going so far as to quote Albert Einstein on the subject., yet, the glare of the production lights left none for us to savor.
December 13, 2017
Well. I guess I appreciate them sharing their story. The idea of an open relationship sounds appealing as fantasy. But I think the reality would not be something I could wrap my head around emotionally. Always so much jealousy and hurt feelings at stake. But unlike these 2, I’d want to find the right guy that I could enjoy sexually as well. But whether I was sharing a man or a woman with someone I love, think id worry they would enjoy them sexually more than I.
If the word “tummy” was used one more time in this book I’d lose my damn mind! Use a damn thesaurus! And I know not everyone feels this way but, tummy is a word for kids and shouldn’t be used in the same sentence as Cum.
And why did it take til the end of this book to talk about her husband licking up his cum and kissing her “like he always does”. What?!? Like he ALWAYS does? You didn’t bother actually sharing this nugget of lovely kink until the end! Growing up Catholic we called this the “rhythm method”. But thank God for birth control because although lve glazed a pair of
Breast or two and a couple buttocks. But once I’m in a vagina or an anus, I’m cumming in it. No power to pull out.
Finally a big gigantic Eye roll to their desire to shoot porn but taking so long to think of things like tripods, lights, people that knew where the hell they were doing
If the word “tummy” was used one more time in this book I’d lose my damn mind! Use a damn thesaurus! And I know not everyone feels this way but, tummy is a word for kids and shouldn’t be used in the same sentence as Cum.
And why did it take til the end of this book to talk about her husband licking up his cum and kissing her “like he always does”. What?!? Like he ALWAYS does? You didn’t bother actually sharing this nugget of lovely kink until the end! Growing up Catholic we called this the “rhythm method”. But thank God for birth control because although lve glazed a pair of
Breast or two and a couple buttocks. But once I’m in a vagina or an anus, I’m cumming in it. No power to pull out.
Finally a big gigantic Eye roll to their desire to shoot porn but taking so long to think of things like tripods, lights, people that knew where the hell they were doing
June 23, 2023
Interesting book. I find the author's concept of "monogamy with benefits" to be very useful. As a former marital and family therapist for 30 years, I wish I had read this book early in my career. The concept could have benefited many struggling couples. Although I liked the book a great deal, I did not give it five stars. For the average American couple, the author's story would be a fantasy and probably lead to frustration. The authors make it clear that they are financially well-to-do. The average American couple is not and would not be able to implement the strategies used by the authors. The book needed a chapter detailing how the "monogamy with benefits" concept could be implemented on a limited income. I think it would be difficult.
Bill Forey, Ed.D.
Bill Forey, Ed.D.
March 17, 2018
Wow
These two people have such an amazing story. Its eye opening to read about two people so committed to each others pleasure, and to their own relationship. I'm envious of their openness and ability to express themselves sexually. Their story both aroused me sensually and curiously. The practical details involving their journey shed fresh light on what "real people" deal with in an effort to find fresh, exciting ways to please each other. A very good read.
These two people have such an amazing story. Its eye opening to read about two people so committed to each others pleasure, and to their own relationship. I'm envious of their openness and ability to express themselves sexually. Their story both aroused me sensually and curiously. The practical details involving their journey shed fresh light on what "real people" deal with in an effort to find fresh, exciting ways to please each other. A very good read.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews