The first time I read this book, I was in my early thirties, and I probably would've scored it lower then if I'd had a Goodreads account. Now as a middle-aged woman, this book speaks powerfully to me, which I think is kind of the point.
The blurb for this book makes it all about Adam Berendt, but the book really isn't about Adam. Adam is merely the event, the shock to the characters' comfortable and settled lives that is the impetus for the changes they go through. And every character is confronted by change, meeting it differently...which is what middle age is really about: "In the prime of their lives, they'd been successful and then, perhaps abruptly, unexpectedly something had happened--illness, accident, financial losses, disappointing children, divorce, death--to break them and make them doubt everything they'd believed in. Yet somehow they'd mended, and made a decision to live, and to live happily, as long as possible."
Adam is the personification of this unexpected something, but each character confronts at least one of the items Oates lists. Some come out of this confrontation stronger, more wise, more accepting, more in touch...while others fail to make the transition at all. Salthill on the Hudson, the community of the book, is merely a microcosm of the middle aged world--people who all have to confront their own limitations and experience the weakness of it before deciding how Life: Part II will be lived.
I think those who read this expecting a typical "romance" miss the point--this is a book about falling in love with yourself despite an aging, less attractive body. It's about the romance you have to develop with the self you are becoming, no apologies and despite expectations.
I'm glad I picked it back up, and if you read it, but didn't love it the first time, pick it up after your own "unexpected something" makes you change, mend, and decide to live...it will resonate.