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Beside Myself
Beside Myself is the story of twin sisters, a childhood game with devastating consequences and the slippery nature of identity
Helen and Ellie are identical twins – like two peas in a pod, everyone says.
The girls know this isn’t true, though: Helen is the leader and Ellie the follower.
Until they decide to swap places: just for fun, and just for one day.
But Ellie refuses to swap back...
And so begins a nightmare from which Helen cannot wake up. Her toys, her clothes, her friends, her glowing record at school, the favour of her mother and the future she had dreamed of are all gone to a sister who blossoms in the approval that used to belong to Helen. And as the years pass, she loses not only her memory of that day but also herself – until eventually only ‘Smudge’ is left.
Twenty-five years later, Smudge receives a call from out of the blue. It threatens to pull her back into her sister’s dangerous orbit, but if this is her only chance to face the past, how can she resist?
Beside Myself is a compulsive and darkly brilliant psychological drama about family and identity – what makes us who we are and how very fragile it can be.
Helen and Ellie are identical twins – like two peas in a pod, everyone says.
The girls know this isn’t true, though: Helen is the leader and Ellie the follower.
Until they decide to swap places: just for fun, and just for one day.
But Ellie refuses to swap back...
And so begins a nightmare from which Helen cannot wake up. Her toys, her clothes, her friends, her glowing record at school, the favour of her mother and the future she had dreamed of are all gone to a sister who blossoms in the approval that used to belong to Helen. And as the years pass, she loses not only her memory of that day but also herself – until eventually only ‘Smudge’ is left.
Twenty-five years later, Smudge receives a call from out of the blue. It threatens to pull her back into her sister’s dangerous orbit, but if this is her only chance to face the past, how can she resist?
Beside Myself is a compulsive and darkly brilliant psychological drama about family and identity – what makes us who we are and how very fragile it can be.
405 pages, Paperback
First published January 12, 2016
247 people are currently reading
9605 people want to read
About the author
Ann Morgan
24 books9 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
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December 17, 2015
I have a feeling that 2016 is going to be the year of the psychological thriller! I can only hope so, Its my favourite genre! Thankfully I managed to score an advanced copy of this little beauty Beside Myself, and I loved it!
Helen and Ellie are identical twins. There was a complication at birth and the cord was wrapped around Ellie’s neck for an extended period of time and because of this she wasn’t quite right. Sickly, and mentally slow compared to her sister, Ellie lived in Helens shadow. One day they decided to play a trick on everyone and swapped places. After managing to fool everybody, even their mother, Helen wanted to swap back. However Ellie refused, SHE was Helen now. After nobody believes her, and after encountering a lot of bad luck, Helen (Now Ellie…. Or is she??) has to live her life as someone she isn’t. And things don’t go well for her. Now after many years, her sister is in a coma following an accident. Will she wake up? Will Helen ever get her real life back? Or is it even hers?
The premise of this book was what grabbed me, that and the spooky cover. Twins are always interesting to read about. Being an only child myself I can only imagine what it would be like to have a sibling who is so physically similar to you. It was interesting to read about their connection.
I’m not sure if I would say this book is particularly thrilling as such, but the thrills come from reading about life from Ellies perspective. Her mental illness comes through so strongly in the writing of this book, it is really well done. The dark mood is also another thing that grabbed me about Beside Myself. You quickly get caught up in the depressing state that Ellie’s life is now in, and get totally captivated with reading how she got to this point and what happens next.
I thought the ending was fantastic. There was a revelation that I was not expecting. However the book itself was quite slow moving in places. I understand a bit of a slower pace was needed to set the scene, however it almost got to dragging point for a little while about 60% in. But then it started to pick up again, and I devoured the rest.
I have a thing about medical inaccuracies in novels. It drives me nuts. And there were a few scenes in the hospital that I picked up on. Especially the one where Helen was speaking with a breathing tube in which is impossible and a common medical mistake in a few novels I have read, however I also noticed that because of the tone of that scene it could be argued that Ellie was imagining it. Which makes it alright I guess. Didn’t stop me from enjoying it overall though!
It was written really well, and I loved all the characters. Ellie (or Helen… Or is it Ellie?) was such a great leading character. Such an interesting story. It jumped back and forth in time with each chapter, which confused me at the beginning but I quickly got used to it.
Would I recommend Beside Myself?
Yes, for any psychological thriller fan!
Thanks to author Ann Morgan via NetGalley for an advanced copy in exchange for my review.
For more reviews visit my blog
www.booksbabiesbeing.com
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www.facebook.com/booksbabiesbeing
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www.twitter.com/BBB_Mel
Helen and Ellie are identical twins. There was a complication at birth and the cord was wrapped around Ellie’s neck for an extended period of time and because of this she wasn’t quite right. Sickly, and mentally slow compared to her sister, Ellie lived in Helens shadow. One day they decided to play a trick on everyone and swapped places. After managing to fool everybody, even their mother, Helen wanted to swap back. However Ellie refused, SHE was Helen now. After nobody believes her, and after encountering a lot of bad luck, Helen (Now Ellie…. Or is she??) has to live her life as someone she isn’t. And things don’t go well for her. Now after many years, her sister is in a coma following an accident. Will she wake up? Will Helen ever get her real life back? Or is it even hers?
The premise of this book was what grabbed me, that and the spooky cover. Twins are always interesting to read about. Being an only child myself I can only imagine what it would be like to have a sibling who is so physically similar to you. It was interesting to read about their connection.
I’m not sure if I would say this book is particularly thrilling as such, but the thrills come from reading about life from Ellies perspective. Her mental illness comes through so strongly in the writing of this book, it is really well done. The dark mood is also another thing that grabbed me about Beside Myself. You quickly get caught up in the depressing state that Ellie’s life is now in, and get totally captivated with reading how she got to this point and what happens next.
I thought the ending was fantastic. There was a revelation that I was not expecting. However the book itself was quite slow moving in places. I understand a bit of a slower pace was needed to set the scene, however it almost got to dragging point for a little while about 60% in. But then it started to pick up again, and I devoured the rest.
I have a thing about medical inaccuracies in novels. It drives me nuts. And there were a few scenes in the hospital that I picked up on. Especially the one where Helen was speaking with a breathing tube in which is impossible and a common medical mistake in a few novels I have read, however I also noticed that because of the tone of that scene it could be argued that Ellie was imagining it. Which makes it alright I guess. Didn’t stop me from enjoying it overall though!
It was written really well, and I loved all the characters. Ellie (or Helen… Or is it Ellie?) was such a great leading character. Such an interesting story. It jumped back and forth in time with each chapter, which confused me at the beginning but I quickly got used to it.
Would I recommend Beside Myself?
Yes, for any psychological thriller fan!
Thanks to author Ann Morgan via NetGalley for an advanced copy in exchange for my review.
For more reviews visit my blog
www.booksbabiesbeing.com
www.facebook.com/booksbabiesbeing
www.twitter.com/BBB_Mel
December 7, 2015
Beside Myself tells the story of twins, a childish game that goes horribly wrong and the echoes of that throughout the life of at least one of the twins.
Ann Morgan is a stunning writer - the use of language in this novel is really very good and atmospheric, I enjoyed the reading of it for that reason, I just wish I had been more enamoured of the story itself. You know how sometimes it just doesn't quite work for you as a reader? That was the problem I had with this novel. One of those "No Two people ever read the same book" moments.
So in Beside Myself two twins swap places one day to tease their mother and others. One twin however likes her new personality and doesn't want to swap back. The other twin loses her mind. Thats basically it in a nutshell although of course there is a lot more to it than that. I just got a bit lost is all...
There were not really any characters I liked. Thats not a problem usually I'm a fan of unlikeable characters that make you crazy,but in Beside Myself there was not any one of them that gave me the other side of that - the need to root for them and get behind them. And it all was a little unlikely. The speed at which the originally confident and bossy twin fell into a practical coma seemed unrealistic. Same with the less confident, bumbling twin who suddenly took on her sister's traits with no real hiccups. And the mother, honestly. Anyway...
When we move forward in time, we meet one of them after they have moved away. She has mental problems and well, is just strange. She gets pulled back into the vortex of family when her Sister has an accident - from there things picked up a bit for me, I was intrigued to find out what would happen with this "swap" scenario, whether anyone would actually bother to notice all these years later, and for a while in the middle I was totally in it.
Sadly the ending didn't really do it for me either. I was hoping for a bit of a twist to make me go "ooh" but the twist was more of an "oh" moment it really just continued in the same vein for the majority of the book and ended up vaguely annoying me.
This is an exploration of personality and as such will probably work really well for a lot of readers and certainly Ann Morgan's writing ability and talent is right up there - to the point that I will definitely be interested to read anything else she writes. But Beside Myself didn't really work on a lot of levels, due to my own personality being vaguely grumpy about unlikely plot holes at the moment.
I'd definitely recommend this though if you are a fan of psycologial thrillers - because what is sauce for the goose is NOT necessarily what is sauce for the gander and there is a lot to admire in "Beside Myself" as you can see from other reviews.
Happy Reading Folks!
Ann Morgan is a stunning writer - the use of language in this novel is really very good and atmospheric, I enjoyed the reading of it for that reason, I just wish I had been more enamoured of the story itself. You know how sometimes it just doesn't quite work for you as a reader? That was the problem I had with this novel. One of those "No Two people ever read the same book" moments.
So in Beside Myself two twins swap places one day to tease their mother and others. One twin however likes her new personality and doesn't want to swap back. The other twin loses her mind. Thats basically it in a nutshell although of course there is a lot more to it than that. I just got a bit lost is all...
There were not really any characters I liked. Thats not a problem usually I'm a fan of unlikeable characters that make you crazy,but in Beside Myself there was not any one of them that gave me the other side of that - the need to root for them and get behind them. And it all was a little unlikely. The speed at which the originally confident and bossy twin fell into a practical coma seemed unrealistic. Same with the less confident, bumbling twin who suddenly took on her sister's traits with no real hiccups. And the mother, honestly. Anyway...
When we move forward in time, we meet one of them after they have moved away. She has mental problems and well, is just strange. She gets pulled back into the vortex of family when her Sister has an accident - from there things picked up a bit for me, I was intrigued to find out what would happen with this "swap" scenario, whether anyone would actually bother to notice all these years later, and for a while in the middle I was totally in it.
Sadly the ending didn't really do it for me either. I was hoping for a bit of a twist to make me go "ooh" but the twist was more of an "oh" moment it really just continued in the same vein for the majority of the book and ended up vaguely annoying me.
This is an exploration of personality and as such will probably work really well for a lot of readers and certainly Ann Morgan's writing ability and talent is right up there - to the point that I will definitely be interested to read anything else she writes. But Beside Myself didn't really work on a lot of levels, due to my own personality being vaguely grumpy about unlikely plot holes at the moment.
I'd definitely recommend this though if you are a fan of psycologial thrillers - because what is sauce for the goose is NOT necessarily what is sauce for the gander and there is a lot to admire in "Beside Myself" as you can see from other reviews.
Happy Reading Folks!
January 10, 2016
I thought this was a really interesting book exploring identity and the ways in which that can be affected by society's expectations. Helen and Ellie are identical twins with Helen the dominant, smart one who always behaves. Ellie had a few problems at birth and is mentally slower and often clumsy. When they are six Helen suggests swapping identities to play a trick on everyone and Ellie goes along with it. However when Ellie decides she likes being Helen and refuses to swap back Helen finds herself locked into being Ellie, the child who is always in trouble at home, shunned by schoolmates and held back at school. Gradually she starts to act out from frustration at no one believing that she is Helen and starts to develop psychological problems. Helen meanwhile takes on Ellie's persona enjoying popularity and success.
As Ellie grows up, I began to wonder if Ellie really was originally Helen - did they swap back after the game and Ellie is just imagining that they didn't until that becomes her reality? Ellie is the narrator with alternating chapters following the life of the twins as they grow up and Ellie's current dysfunctional life that she blames on the swap and her subsequent treatment. She thinks of herself as a monster but the real monster is the twins mother who favoured one child over the other and treated the other abysmally. She really was a piece of work and I really felt for Ellie, constantly put down while her twin was held up as the perfect child until one day something really bad happens and Ellie finds herself exiled.
This is a quite a dark psychological thriller that is well written and depicts what it is like to experience bouts of mental illness. As the main character, Ellie is the most interesting and complex but the depiction of her mother as a flawed human being is also central to the story and I enjoyed the surprising twist towards the end of the book that revealed a lot about the mother's motives and character. This was an excellent debut novel and I look forward to reading more from this author.
With thanks to Netgalley and Bloomsbury for an e-copy of this book to read and review.
As Ellie grows up, I began to wonder if Ellie really was originally Helen - did they swap back after the game and Ellie is just imagining that they didn't until that becomes her reality? Ellie is the narrator with alternating chapters following the life of the twins as they grow up and Ellie's current dysfunctional life that she blames on the swap and her subsequent treatment. She thinks of herself as a monster but the real monster is the twins mother who favoured one child over the other and treated the other abysmally. She really was a piece of work and I really felt for Ellie, constantly put down while her twin was held up as the perfect child until one day something really bad happens and Ellie finds herself exiled.
This is a quite a dark psychological thriller that is well written and depicts what it is like to experience bouts of mental illness. As the main character, Ellie is the most interesting and complex but the depiction of her mother as a flawed human being is also central to the story and I enjoyed the surprising twist towards the end of the book that revealed a lot about the mother's motives and character. This was an excellent debut novel and I look forward to reading more from this author.
With thanks to Netgalley and Bloomsbury for an e-copy of this book to read and review.
August 21, 2015
www.melissa413readsalot.blogspot.com
I have to say this book is really sad, yes sad in that way, but sad on so many other levels. The way this mother treats her twin daughters is unbelievable.
At the age of 6 Helen wants her and Ellie to try and trick people by switching clothes and acting like the other. You see, Helen was the normal one and Ellie had some issues.. they say it was a problem when she was being born.
This was the biggest mistake Helen ever made in her life. Ellie decides she wants to be Helen forever and it really makes you wonder and realize Ellie was a great actress because she really had some issues, but she played Helen to a T!
Helen ends up having a horrific life. I can't believe how her family treated her and I wonder if Ellie would have been treated the same way if she stayed her true self.
I was hoping that something would vindicate Helen at some point. The last few pages of the book was the only happy moment that Helen really seemed to have.
A tragedy happens in the family and Helen is brought back into their lives for a short time. She gets to meet Ellie's husband Nick and daughter Heloise. Nick broke down and told her in confidence one night that he always thought Ellie aka Helen wasn't herself. She seemed like a different person...well she was! But things head South with this visitation and Helen had to leave again. Although, I loved the time she got to spend with Heloise, she was a precious little girl and she seemed to love Helen.
The mother was horrible all the way up until the end and when she revealed a secret to Helen I was just devastated! I mean this woman had something really bad happen to her when the kids were young and she had a hard time dealing with it, but to do these things to your kids. Wow!
I hesitate to say I enjoyed the book because of all the horrible things, but I did like the book, although it made me really sad and mad.
Advice to any twins out there...... DO. NOT. TRADE. PLACES. WITH. YOUR. TWIN!
**I would like to thank NETGALLEY and BLOOMSBURY USA for giving me the opportunity to read an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.**
I have to say this book is really sad, yes sad in that way, but sad on so many other levels. The way this mother treats her twin daughters is unbelievable.
At the age of 6 Helen wants her and Ellie to try and trick people by switching clothes and acting like the other. You see, Helen was the normal one and Ellie had some issues.. they say it was a problem when she was being born.
This was the biggest mistake Helen ever made in her life. Ellie decides she wants to be Helen forever and it really makes you wonder and realize Ellie was a great actress because she really had some issues, but she played Helen to a T!
Helen ends up having a horrific life. I can't believe how her family treated her and I wonder if Ellie would have been treated the same way if she stayed her true self.
I was hoping that something would vindicate Helen at some point. The last few pages of the book was the only happy moment that Helen really seemed to have.
A tragedy happens in the family and Helen is brought back into their lives for a short time. She gets to meet Ellie's husband Nick and daughter Heloise. Nick broke down and told her in confidence one night that he always thought Ellie aka Helen wasn't herself. She seemed like a different person...well she was! But things head South with this visitation and Helen had to leave again. Although, I loved the time she got to spend with Heloise, she was a precious little girl and she seemed to love Helen.
The mother was horrible all the way up until the end and when she revealed a secret to Helen I was just devastated! I mean this woman had something really bad happen to her when the kids were young and she had a hard time dealing with it, but to do these things to your kids. Wow!
I hesitate to say I enjoyed the book because of all the horrible things, but I did like the book, although it made me really sad and mad.
Advice to any twins out there...... DO. NOT. TRADE. PLACES. WITH. YOUR. TWIN!
**I would like to thank NETGALLEY and BLOOMSBURY USA for giving me the opportunity to read an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.**
September 11, 2018
I had heard about this book when it first was published.
It got good hype.
Then some very confusing reviews.
I thought I’d wait until it all died down then forgot about it.
Until I realised I should have read this book already.
So I dived in.
By now most will know the concept of what this book is about.
I think it covers some sort of mental awareness to but I struggled with it.
The book goes back and forth in time.
That’s OK I’ve read many books like that but this one isn’t with ease for a reader.
Ann Morgan is a good writer however this one was a brain ache for me.
It needs full undivided attention.
It got good hype.
Then some very confusing reviews.
I thought I’d wait until it all died down then forgot about it.
Until I realised I should have read this book already.
So I dived in.
By now most will know the concept of what this book is about.
I think it covers some sort of mental awareness to but I struggled with it.
The book goes back and forth in time.
That’s OK I’ve read many books like that but this one isn’t with ease for a reader.
Ann Morgan is a good writer however this one was a brain ache for me.
It needs full undivided attention.
February 10, 2017
I was very excited to read Beside Myself. The description sounded incredibly thrilling and interesting, so I put in my NetGalley request, crossing my fingers that I'd get a chance to read this book.
Now that I've read it, I have to say I'm kind of disappointed. I really thought I was going to love it, but in all honesty I had a hard time reading this book. It took me a while to get into the flip flop chapters that take place in third person in the present day and first person (kind of? It's more of a "you" instead of "I" perspective) in the past. The author gives so much description that I found myself skimming pages until I got to more of the actual plot. I do think the idea for this book was really cool and the author did a good job showing how Smudge (and even Hellie) was totally messed up by the switch. I was expecting more from the twist at the end, like for them to explain what , or what really happened between . In fact the final twist at the end just made me really mad. She basically .
I will say that going into this book I thought it was a young adult read and it wasn't, so I did appreciate that, while there was some adult content, it wasn't very graphic. The author alluded to more things, which I thought worked well because there were a lot of touchy subjects.
The one thing that doesn't make any sense to me in this story though is that I don't understand how no one could realize the switch and fix it in all those years. I would imagine even just a simple trip to the doctors office for blood work would have solved all of this, and that's something routine that people need to get done anyway. Adding insult to injury -- ! That just didn't make sense to me at all.
I have received an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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Now that I've read it, I have to say I'm kind of disappointed. I really thought I was going to love it, but in all honesty I had a hard time reading this book. It took me a while to get into the flip flop chapters that take place in third person in the present day and first person (kind of? It's more of a "you" instead of "I" perspective) in the past. The author gives so much description that I found myself skimming pages until I got to more of the actual plot. I do think the idea for this book was really cool and the author did a good job showing how Smudge (and even Hellie) was totally messed up by the switch. I was expecting more from the twist at the end, like for them to explain what , or what really happened between . In fact the final twist at the end just made me really mad. She basically .
I will say that going into this book I thought it was a young adult read and it wasn't, so I did appreciate that, while there was some adult content, it wasn't very graphic. The author alluded to more things, which I thought worked well because there were a lot of touchy subjects.
The one thing that doesn't make any sense to me in this story though is that I don't understand how no one could realize the switch and fix it in all those years. I would imagine even just a simple trip to the doctors office for blood work would have solved all of this, and that's something routine that people need to get done anyway. Adding insult to injury -- ! That just didn't make sense to me at all.
I have received an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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December 24, 2015
This is an interesting debut novel, which explores themes of identity, deception and some seriously flawed, dysfunctional family relationships. It begins with two little girls – Helen and Eleanor. They are twins and Helen is the oldest and the leader. Her mother sees her as the ‘good girl’ while Eleanor (Ellie) is often troublesome with mild behaviour problems and is apt to get things wrong and need looking after. Although Helen is perceived as the smarter and more well behaved as the two, it is also cleverly insinuated that she can something of a bully, rather than a ‘leader.’
One day, Helen has the brilliant idea of swapping places and making her, rather severe, mother amused with the joke that her good girl could be Ellie; tripping along behind her sister. When they go back to the house though, they find that there have been changes they did not expect and then Ellie does not want to change back…
Going forward to today, we find that Helen (now known completely as Ellie, or ‘Smudge’) has grown from the competent child into the perceived ‘failure’ that her mother expected. Her identity taken, she spirals into mental illness and a life of poverty and isolation. Ellie (or Helen) however, has had success, marriage to Nick and a daughter, Heloise who, by coincidence, is six years old – the same age as the twins when they changed places.
When Helen is injured in an accident and ends up in a coma, it results in their mother calling Smudge to inform her (rather unwillingly) about what has happened. The twins mother is controlling, opinionated and unsympathetic and, her getting back in touch, leaves Smudge feeling out of control. Then Helen’s husband, Nick, appears, hoping that she can shed light on why he feels that his wife was travelling to see her twin when she had the accident. The storyline splits between the past and the present as we learn what happened when the twins were young and whether the truth about their identity will be uncovered.
I found this a difficult and disturbing read. The family dynamics were often deeply unsettling and upsetting, the characters mostly unlikeable and the plot twists a little less surprising than, perhaps, I had hoped. On the plus side, this was written extremely well and, of course, it is not essential to like the characters in a novel. I found this a very interesting read, but not as immersive as I first expected. I would certainly read more by this author, as it was an assured and impressive debut, but somehow this just fell a little short for me. Lastly, I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via NetGalley, for review. Rated 3.5 stars.
One day, Helen has the brilliant idea of swapping places and making her, rather severe, mother amused with the joke that her good girl could be Ellie; tripping along behind her sister. When they go back to the house though, they find that there have been changes they did not expect and then Ellie does not want to change back…
Going forward to today, we find that Helen (now known completely as Ellie, or ‘Smudge’) has grown from the competent child into the perceived ‘failure’ that her mother expected. Her identity taken, she spirals into mental illness and a life of poverty and isolation. Ellie (or Helen) however, has had success, marriage to Nick and a daughter, Heloise who, by coincidence, is six years old – the same age as the twins when they changed places.
When Helen is injured in an accident and ends up in a coma, it results in their mother calling Smudge to inform her (rather unwillingly) about what has happened. The twins mother is controlling, opinionated and unsympathetic and, her getting back in touch, leaves Smudge feeling out of control. Then Helen’s husband, Nick, appears, hoping that she can shed light on why he feels that his wife was travelling to see her twin when she had the accident. The storyline splits between the past and the present as we learn what happened when the twins were young and whether the truth about their identity will be uncovered.
I found this a difficult and disturbing read. The family dynamics were often deeply unsettling and upsetting, the characters mostly unlikeable and the plot twists a little less surprising than, perhaps, I had hoped. On the plus side, this was written extremely well and, of course, it is not essential to like the characters in a novel. I found this a very interesting read, but not as immersive as I first expected. I would certainly read more by this author, as it was an assured and impressive debut, but somehow this just fell a little short for me. Lastly, I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via NetGalley, for review. Rated 3.5 stars.
November 12, 2020
There have been many novels penned about twins. So interesting to have two separate personalities who look identical. We can’t resist wondering what it would be like. After reading this novel, I NEVER want to find out. I was filled with angst and misgiving much like the feeling I used to get watching old movies where the heroine was committed to a mental hospital when there was nothing wrong with her. The injustice of it all!
Smudge is a beguiling and well wrought character that the reader just cannot help but empathize with. Her sadness and loneliness make you ache for her.
“Beside Myself” underscores just how fine a line there is between love and hate. This novel also paints an alarmingly vivid portrait of mental illness. But was the mental illness caused by the events? Or… were the events caused by the mental illness? Or, is heredity the only cause?
If you live a lie long enough, does that lie become truth?
A well rendered, chillingly dark, and very unsettling novel of family dysfunction, “Beside Myself” will be enjoyed by all fans of the psychological thriller genre.
Thanks to Ann Morgan via TLC Book Tours and NetGalley for providing me with a digital advance reader’s copy of this novel.
For my complete review of "Beside Myself" visit my blog: https://fictionophile.wordpress.com/2...
I am hosting a GIVEAWAY for this wonderful novel so don't forget to leave a comment on my blog to enter!
Smudge is a beguiling and well wrought character that the reader just cannot help but empathize with. Her sadness and loneliness make you ache for her.
“Beside Myself” underscores just how fine a line there is between love and hate. This novel also paints an alarmingly vivid portrait of mental illness. But was the mental illness caused by the events? Or… were the events caused by the mental illness? Or, is heredity the only cause?
If you live a lie long enough, does that lie become truth?
A well rendered, chillingly dark, and very unsettling novel of family dysfunction, “Beside Myself” will be enjoyed by all fans of the psychological thriller genre.
Thanks to Ann Morgan via TLC Book Tours and NetGalley for providing me with a digital advance reader’s copy of this novel.
For my complete review of "Beside Myself" visit my blog: https://fictionophile.wordpress.com/2...
I am hosting a GIVEAWAY for this wonderful novel so don't forget to leave a comment on my blog to enter!
December 11, 2021
No ha estado mal, pero creo que le sobran páginas, lo ha dilatado en demasía.
La historia trata como el propio título indica en una "vida robada", la cual tiene lugar cuando 2 hermanas gemelas deciden intercambiarse (vamos lo que todos los hermanos gemelos habrán hecho alguna vez), pero el juego pasa a mayores cuando ni su propia madre las diferencia, lo cual es un poco raro, en fin...
Tanto es así que a partir de ese momento, a pesar de que una de ellas quiera cambiar y ser ella otra vez, su madre no la cree.
Complicándose todo una vez que van al colegio, ya que sus amigas tampoco las diferencian, con lo cual, cambian la vida de una por la otra, de ahí el titulo.
El libro está escrito en 2 tiempos el presente y el pasado, siempre desde el punto de vista de la hermana que tuvo la idea de cambiarse, pero que luego se arrepintió (Helen), ya que su vida era mucho más comleta y divertida que la de su hermana, rodeada de sus amigas era de las chicas populares, mientras que su hermana era de las raritas (Ellie). Eso lo va a sufrir en sus propias carnes cuando su hermana decide que no quiere volver a ser ella misma, sino que quiere seguir siendo su hermana.
Una va a sufrir con el cambio (transtorno bipolar y demás problemas, hasta el punto de ingresar en un psiquiátrico) y la otra va a ganar con el (una vida llena de éxito).
6/10
# 11. El primer libro que cojas (con los ojos cerrados) de tu estantería. Reto literario lecturas pendientes 2021.
# 8. Un libro de tu lista TBR elegido al azar. Reto Popsugar 2021
La historia trata como el propio título indica en una "vida robada", la cual tiene lugar cuando 2 hermanas gemelas deciden intercambiarse (vamos lo que todos los hermanos gemelos habrán hecho alguna vez), pero el juego pasa a mayores cuando ni su propia madre las diferencia, lo cual es un poco raro, en fin...
Tanto es así que a partir de ese momento, a pesar de que una de ellas quiera cambiar y ser ella otra vez, su madre no la cree.
Complicándose todo una vez que van al colegio, ya que sus amigas tampoco las diferencian, con lo cual, cambian la vida de una por la otra, de ahí el titulo.
El libro está escrito en 2 tiempos el presente y el pasado, siempre desde el punto de vista de la hermana que tuvo la idea de cambiarse, pero que luego se arrepintió (Helen), ya que su vida era mucho más comleta y divertida que la de su hermana, rodeada de sus amigas era de las chicas populares, mientras que su hermana era de las raritas (Ellie). Eso lo va a sufrir en sus propias carnes cuando su hermana decide que no quiere volver a ser ella misma, sino que quiere seguir siendo su hermana.
Una va a sufrir con el cambio (transtorno bipolar y demás problemas, hasta el punto de ingresar en un psiquiátrico) y la otra va a ganar con el (una vida llena de éxito).
6/10
# 11. El primer libro que cojas (con los ojos cerrados) de tu estantería. Reto literario lecturas pendientes 2021.
# 8. Un libro de tu lista TBR elegido al azar. Reto Popsugar 2021
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 10, 2017
This book was quite a crazy ride from start to finish. I was expecting a thriller but it wasn't so much a thriller as it was a dark, twisted psychological story so it wasn't quite what I was expecting. It was also much slower than I anticipated it would be and I thought it was too long. I felt like things were added in to make it longer when it really could have been better if it was shorter and more solid as a story. I feel like this book didn't really know what it wanted to be. It had an idea but it needed to be more concise. There were lots of uneccessary things in the story and it sometimes went about things the wrong way. It was basically a bit all over the place- partly because of the writing and partly because of the story.
The story is told in alternating chapters of past and present from the real Helen's POV. There was a lot going on in the past chapters and even more going on in the present chapters. I thought there was too much going on to be honest and I think it's because there were too many unimportant details on top of the already complicated story. I found this book quite hard to get into because i found it quite confusing and slow and there were times were I considered not finishing it but I'm glad I finished it because overall, it was pretty decent and I enjoyed it.
What really kept me reading was my desire to know what would happen at the end. I'm someone who finds it really hard to not finish books or movies because I feel like I need to know! If you're not that kind of person, then this book may not be for you. I only say that because this book doesn't have a lot of redeeming qualities. It's complicated (not in a good way), it's long, it's got a really slow pace, it has no likeable characters or relatable characters and the writing isn't good enough to carry the book. In fact, I didn't particularly like the writing at all, it wasn't bad per say but it just wasn't for me. The end turned out to be sort of anticlimactic and I was disappointed with it but it did clear up some things.
I feel like I bashed this book a bit but at the end of the day, my feelings towards the book are more positive than negative and that's what got this book 3 stars from me. I can recognise that it's not a bad book but it's just not a good one either. It sits in the "average" section. Would I recommend it? Hmmm, not really unless you read tonnes of dark twisted psychological fiction and you're thinking this may interest you. Would I read another book by Ann Morgan? Probably not but I'm open to it!
* I received a free copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“My memories of him are like a sweet that you have sucked too long until all the flavour is gone.”
“Because you are not here – that’s the truth of it. None of this is real. You don’t exist and so nothing can touch you – not the past, not the future... You are out of it all – floating in a blind, white mist rolling in off a boundless sea. You are immune.”
The story is told in alternating chapters of past and present from the real Helen's POV. There was a lot going on in the past chapters and even more going on in the present chapters. I thought there was too much going on to be honest and I think it's because there were too many unimportant details on top of the already complicated story. I found this book quite hard to get into because i found it quite confusing and slow and there were times were I considered not finishing it but I'm glad I finished it because overall, it was pretty decent and I enjoyed it.
What really kept me reading was my desire to know what would happen at the end. I'm someone who finds it really hard to not finish books or movies because I feel like I need to know! If you're not that kind of person, then this book may not be for you. I only say that because this book doesn't have a lot of redeeming qualities. It's complicated (not in a good way), it's long, it's got a really slow pace, it has no likeable characters or relatable characters and the writing isn't good enough to carry the book. In fact, I didn't particularly like the writing at all, it wasn't bad per say but it just wasn't for me. The end turned out to be sort of anticlimactic and I was disappointed with it but it did clear up some things.
I feel like I bashed this book a bit but at the end of the day, my feelings towards the book are more positive than negative and that's what got this book 3 stars from me. I can recognise that it's not a bad book but it's just not a good one either. It sits in the "average" section. Would I recommend it? Hmmm, not really unless you read tonnes of dark twisted psychological fiction and you're thinking this may interest you. Would I read another book by Ann Morgan? Probably not but I'm open to it!
* I received a free copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“My memories of him are like a sweet that you have sucked too long until all the flavour is gone.”
“Because you are not here – that’s the truth of it. None of this is real. You don’t exist and so nothing can touch you – not the past, not the future... You are out of it all – floating in a blind, white mist rolling in off a boundless sea. You are immune.”
March 10, 2016
3.5 stars: The press for this novel is that it’s a page-turner and psychological thriller about what makes us who we are. Well, for me, it was more of a deep exploration of bipolar and mental illness.
Identical twins, Helen and Ellie decide to try and fool everyone by swapping names when they are 6 years old. Helen was the twin that “had it together” and was smart. Ellie was the troubled one, who was clumsy and slow-witted. At age six, both had a personality reputation. So when the girls swap, which was Helen’s idea, Ellie refuses to swap back. This is the alleged pivotal point of the fall of Helen (who is now known as Ellie). At the beginning of the novel, author Ann Morgan shows how we react to behavior based upon assumptions. In other words, if Helen dropped her ice cream, it was an accident. If Ellie did, she was not being careful and being a dimwit. So, when the twins change places, Helen is shocked that she is judged as Ellie. From here, Ellie (the former Helen) falls apart.
It begs the question about mental illness and bi-polar in particular: are life events triggers for the illness, or would the illness manifest itself on it’s own. Also, how much of our life is influenced by labels assigned to us, and how difficult it is to break out of those labels.
The chapters alternate between young Ellie and current time Ellie. We know Ellie does not fair well because of the current chapters. Where Morgan shines is writing the thoughts of a six year-old girl, especially one who is falling into madness while trying to make sense of her life. We see her life through her six year-old eyes. The tragedy of Elli’s life and what becomes of her is heart wrenching. This is a gritty read. I expected the psychological aspect, but not the grittiness of mental illness. Morgan writes it like trying to get out of quicksand unaided. This novel opened my eyes to sadness and despairing lives of those afflicted.
I highly recommend this for those who enjoy edgy novels about mental illness or enjoy page-turners. This is a sad novel. It exposes mental illness and the sufferings of those impacted.
Identical twins, Helen and Ellie decide to try and fool everyone by swapping names when they are 6 years old. Helen was the twin that “had it together” and was smart. Ellie was the troubled one, who was clumsy and slow-witted. At age six, both had a personality reputation. So when the girls swap, which was Helen’s idea, Ellie refuses to swap back. This is the alleged pivotal point of the fall of Helen (who is now known as Ellie). At the beginning of the novel, author Ann Morgan shows how we react to behavior based upon assumptions. In other words, if Helen dropped her ice cream, it was an accident. If Ellie did, she was not being careful and being a dimwit. So, when the twins change places, Helen is shocked that she is judged as Ellie. From here, Ellie (the former Helen) falls apart.
It begs the question about mental illness and bi-polar in particular: are life events triggers for the illness, or would the illness manifest itself on it’s own. Also, how much of our life is influenced by labels assigned to us, and how difficult it is to break out of those labels.
The chapters alternate between young Ellie and current time Ellie. We know Ellie does not fair well because of the current chapters. Where Morgan shines is writing the thoughts of a six year-old girl, especially one who is falling into madness while trying to make sense of her life. We see her life through her six year-old eyes. The tragedy of Elli’s life and what becomes of her is heart wrenching. This is a gritty read. I expected the psychological aspect, but not the grittiness of mental illness. Morgan writes it like trying to get out of quicksand unaided. This novel opened my eyes to sadness and despairing lives of those afflicted.
I highly recommend this for those who enjoy edgy novels about mental illness or enjoy page-turners. This is a sad novel. It exposes mental illness and the sufferings of those impacted.
November 3, 2017
LETTURA DI GRUPPO E&L: novità 2017
Avevo tante aspettative per questo libro. La trama mi piaceva molto e per la prima metà devo dire che mi ha tenuto incollata alle pagine e mi ha messo abbastanza angoscia. Ma da un certo punto in poi..noia totale. Tutta la storia messa in piedi, davvero una bagianata. Per non parlare della spiegazione finale. Delusione. Ma come ha potutto pensare una cosa del genere? dai! era iniziato molto bene. Ma poi tutto il libro si è incentrato solo sul fatto inziale, senza però ampliare un pò le vedute. Anzi..
Tre stelle, non proprio piene, perchè da un lato non mi è dispiaciuto. Mi aspettavo avesse quel qualcosa in più, che poi però non si è visto.
Avevo tante aspettative per questo libro. La trama mi piaceva molto e per la prima metà devo dire che mi ha tenuto incollata alle pagine e mi ha messo abbastanza angoscia. Ma da un certo punto in poi..noia totale. Tutta la storia messa in piedi, davvero una bagianata. Per non parlare della spiegazione finale. Delusione. Ma come ha potutto pensare una cosa del genere? dai! era iniziato molto bene. Ma poi tutto il libro si è incentrato solo sul fatto inziale, senza però ampliare un pò le vedute. Anzi..
Tre stelle, non proprio piene, perchè da un lato non mi è dispiaciuto. Mi aspettavo avesse quel qualcosa in più, che poi però non si è visto.
July 9, 2020
Una lettura inquietante, o meglio l'inquietudine sale pian piano. Il merito sicuramente dell'autrice che pur non avendo una trama prettamente da thriller, ha saputo inculcare nel lettore un'ansia crescente. Si parla di thriller psicologico, ma non lo definirei tale perché la psicologia dei personaggi coinvolti è abbastanza chiara, ma è un genere di libro che gioca con la psiche del lettore, facendo immaginare cosa non c'è e facendo vedere, invece, quello che non riesci a definire.
Brava da questo punto di vista.
Peccato per la parte centrale troppo ridondante, ma sicuramente voluta, proprio per creare più confusione.
4 stelle piene
Brava da questo punto di vista.
Peccato per la parte centrale troppo ridondante, ma sicuramente voluta, proprio per creare più confusione.
4 stelle piene
March 8, 2016
I tried to stay with this but skimmed huge chunks of it ! I found the writing muddled,the character development flawed and the plot becoming secondary to the too long - winded descriptions. Certainly not the thriller I was hoping for . A disappointing read .
June 22, 2016
Best reading comeback EVER. This can't be her first polka. I'll have to see what else this author's written and buy it up ASAP. Fantastic from start to finish. Never a dull moment. Original, unnerving, fast-paced, and very well-written. What a great find.
October 23, 2015
An uncomfortable and sad tale about a childish prank gone horribly wrong. When Ellie & Helen (identical twins) decide to swop identities at the age of 6 for a day and then Ellie refuses to swop back Helen's life takes a very different, tragic and destructive path. This is a sad book with an underlying thread of mental health issues and severe depression running throughout.
With some extremely unlikeable characters (especially the mother) this is an uncomfortable but overall gripping book.
With some extremely unlikeable characters (especially the mother) this is an uncomfortable but overall gripping book.
May 27, 2016
In all fairness, I did not finish this. The writing was so bizarre and weird that it was difficult to follow. Maybe someone from England could give this a fairer rating, as it is by an English author? It just didn't make sense to me . . . at all.
I have better things to read, and would recommend others to skip this one.
I have better things to read, and would recommend others to skip this one.
February 6, 2016
This book was a struggle to read. The world building and subplots within the book didn't mesh well with the character development. The story was told through alternate chapters. The characters themselves were really unlikable and really had no redeemable qualities, thus I had to no connection with the story and wasn't engaged.
January 13, 2016
Thank you to the Author/Publisher for my free copy in exchange for an honest review.
Beside myself is a Psychological book about a pair of young twins who for a game decide to swap identities. Helen is the dominant twin who seems to find life a lot easier than her sister Ellie who is simpler (or so Helen thought), they swap places but after having a little taste of what it is like to be the more favourable twin Ellie decides she isn't going to swap back. Their mother Margaret doesn't believe a word that comes out of Helens mouth and it turns out neither does anyone else for that matter and so it begins..
The story takes us from the past to the present between each chapter which is good because you do get used to it, but then some parts of the story I could have done without, I feel it was just to fill pages. When the girls swap identities I find it very hard to believe that friends, family and our educational services can't tell the girls apart, I also believe the book was more about mental health rather than a thriller. Don't get me wrong the book is written well and some parts made me think that when I have children myself I will never treat or favour a child over another as this alone you could see the damage it causes.
I didn't feel a connection with any of the characters in the book which I think is why I couldn't really get into it. I didn't like either of the girls but I did feel sorry for Smudge, but then I believe that she never helped herself in any way, shape or form and that put me straight off her again.
I can see why people would really like this book as it is well written and some parts made you think of they way others are treated, but it just wasn't for me.
Beside myself is a Psychological book about a pair of young twins who for a game decide to swap identities. Helen is the dominant twin who seems to find life a lot easier than her sister Ellie who is simpler (or so Helen thought), they swap places but after having a little taste of what it is like to be the more favourable twin Ellie decides she isn't going to swap back. Their mother Margaret doesn't believe a word that comes out of Helens mouth and it turns out neither does anyone else for that matter and so it begins..
The story takes us from the past to the present between each chapter which is good because you do get used to it, but then some parts of the story I could have done without, I feel it was just to fill pages. When the girls swap identities I find it very hard to believe that friends, family and our educational services can't tell the girls apart, I also believe the book was more about mental health rather than a thriller. Don't get me wrong the book is written well and some parts made me think that when I have children myself I will never treat or favour a child over another as this alone you could see the damage it causes.
I didn't feel a connection with any of the characters in the book which I think is why I couldn't really get into it. I didn't like either of the girls but I did feel sorry for Smudge, but then I believe that she never helped herself in any way, shape or form and that put me straight off her again.
I can see why people would really like this book as it is well written and some parts made you think of they way others are treated, but it just wasn't for me.
September 24, 2024
Libro abbastanza angosciante e deprimente, tutto basato sui pensieri di una mente disturbata e brutture varie.
È la classica storia che vuoi leggere perché ti stuzzica sapere cosa è successo e cosa succede, ma che ti innervosisce per le cose che racconta.
Almeno è così fintanto che rimane il dubbio su quale sia la realtà , finito l’enigma è caduto nella noia.
Dopo pagine su pagine in cui gli unici argomenti, continuamente ripetuti, sono deliri, disagi, autodistruzione, fughe fisiche e mentali, il tedio regna e non vedevo l’ora di finirlo per liberarmene e passare ad altro.
Crea diverse domande, per esempio quanto influisce l’educazione ricevuta sulla personalità e sull’intelligenza di un bambino.
L’ultima singolarità è che gli eventi sono narrati in prima persona singolare al presente per gli eventi del passato fino ad un certo punto, poi si è passati alla seconda persona singolare al presente, dopo la quasi a sottolineare il distacco da se stessa che ha provato e che agogna, mentre gli eventi del presente sono stranamente narrati in terza persona al passato, di ciò, non sono riuscita a darmi una spiegazione.
Il libro non mi è piaciuto, troppe cose inverosimili, troppo deprimente, troppo noioso.
È la classica storia che vuoi leggere perché ti stuzzica sapere cosa è successo e cosa succede, ma che ti innervosisce per le cose che racconta.
Almeno è così fintanto che rimane il dubbio su quale sia la realtà , finito l’enigma è caduto nella noia.
Dopo pagine su pagine in cui gli unici argomenti, continuamente ripetuti, sono deliri, disagi, autodistruzione, fughe fisiche e mentali, il tedio regna e non vedevo l’ora di finirlo per liberarmene e passare ad altro.
Crea diverse domande, per esempio quanto influisce l’educazione ricevuta sulla personalità e sull’intelligenza di un bambino.
L’ultima singolarità è che gli eventi sono narrati in prima persona singolare al presente per gli eventi del passato fino ad un certo punto, poi si è passati alla seconda persona singolare al presente, dopo la quasi a sottolineare il distacco da se stessa che ha provato e che agogna, mentre gli eventi del presente sono stranamente narrati in terza persona al passato, di ciò, non sono riuscita a darmi una spiegazione.
Il libro non mi è piaciuto, troppe cose inverosimili, troppo deprimente, troppo noioso.
March 7, 2016
This is a novel about identical twins. Not a heartwarming twin story, except for maybe one chapter near the end, but by then your heart is so cold and frozen you wonder if it will ever thaw. A bit of hope enters in the last chapter but you have seen hope dashed many times in this gruesome tale. In fact, a reader who comes through with a warm heart is likely more screwed up than these twins ever were.
Ann Morgan is the writer who got me not just thinking about reading literature from many countries. She got me doing it because of her 2015 opus, The World Between Two Covers, an account of her completed quest to read a work of fiction from every country on Earth in one year. There was no way I was going to miss her debut novel. In summarizing her international reading experience, she describes how reading all those books changed her and opened up possibilities previously not glimpsed as to the many ways fiction could be created. The evidence of those changes shows in Beside Myself.
Helen and Ellie are six when they embark on a dangerous game. Helen is the older because she was the twin born first. She is the “good one.” Ellie is slower, dreamy, clumsy, and when anything goes wrong in the family it is Ellie’s fault. Helen makes up the game. They are going to swap; Ellie will be Helen and Helen will be Ellie. It will be fun to trick their mum and then even more fun when they tell her what they did. Trouble is, Ellie is very good at playing Helen and when the time comes to switch back, she doesn’t. She convinces Mother she really is Helen. The real Helen is stuck being Ellie from that day on.
It sounds like a fairytale doesn’t it? And the story carries on like those Grimm’s tales with all the creepiness and horror that have given children nightmares for years. Helen, as Ellie, spirals down throughout the rest of her childhood, living through one disheartening incident after another, until she is a broken mentally ill substance abuser living on welfare. Ellie, as Helen, grows up to be a famous celebrity with a trophy husband and rich beyond her dreams.
Set in Great Britain, the novel is also filled with British life and British terms. If you’ve read Kate Atkinson or Sara Waters or other contemporary authors from across the pond, you are grooved in. The story ratchets back and forth between the present day and the various stages of Helen’s life as she grows up being Ellie, told in third person for the present and first person for the past. Her past is a study in the ways expectations by others form a personality, of how cruel kids can be to each other, and the contribution of those factors in the disintegration of Helen’s identity. Such narrative choices leave the reader experiencing her disassociation and emotional despair.
After a pivotal event, the voice from Helen’s past changes from first to second person. She has moved outside of herself, watching as she begins to self-destruct. It is brilliant writing beyond what one would expect for a first novel. The marketers are calling this a psychological thriller but in reality it is a study in identity and in how the combined influences of family, heredity, and society can send a person over the edge. Despite the dark and gritty atmosphere, its portrayal of mental illness is one of the most sympathetic I’ve read since One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
I suspect Beside Myself will do better in Great Britain than in the United States. That is a pity because it blows Gone Girl or The Girl on the Train out of the water. Think Patricia Highsmith or Muriel Spark or Jose Saramago. Better yet, don’t think, just read it!
Ann Morgan is the writer who got me not just thinking about reading literature from many countries. She got me doing it because of her 2015 opus, The World Between Two Covers, an account of her completed quest to read a work of fiction from every country on Earth in one year. There was no way I was going to miss her debut novel. In summarizing her international reading experience, she describes how reading all those books changed her and opened up possibilities previously not glimpsed as to the many ways fiction could be created. The evidence of those changes shows in Beside Myself.
Helen and Ellie are six when they embark on a dangerous game. Helen is the older because she was the twin born first. She is the “good one.” Ellie is slower, dreamy, clumsy, and when anything goes wrong in the family it is Ellie’s fault. Helen makes up the game. They are going to swap; Ellie will be Helen and Helen will be Ellie. It will be fun to trick their mum and then even more fun when they tell her what they did. Trouble is, Ellie is very good at playing Helen and when the time comes to switch back, she doesn’t. She convinces Mother she really is Helen. The real Helen is stuck being Ellie from that day on.
It sounds like a fairytale doesn’t it? And the story carries on like those Grimm’s tales with all the creepiness and horror that have given children nightmares for years. Helen, as Ellie, spirals down throughout the rest of her childhood, living through one disheartening incident after another, until she is a broken mentally ill substance abuser living on welfare. Ellie, as Helen, grows up to be a famous celebrity with a trophy husband and rich beyond her dreams.
Set in Great Britain, the novel is also filled with British life and British terms. If you’ve read Kate Atkinson or Sara Waters or other contemporary authors from across the pond, you are grooved in. The story ratchets back and forth between the present day and the various stages of Helen’s life as she grows up being Ellie, told in third person for the present and first person for the past. Her past is a study in the ways expectations by others form a personality, of how cruel kids can be to each other, and the contribution of those factors in the disintegration of Helen’s identity. Such narrative choices leave the reader experiencing her disassociation and emotional despair.
After a pivotal event, the voice from Helen’s past changes from first to second person. She has moved outside of herself, watching as she begins to self-destruct. It is brilliant writing beyond what one would expect for a first novel. The marketers are calling this a psychological thriller but in reality it is a study in identity and in how the combined influences of family, heredity, and society can send a person over the edge. Despite the dark and gritty atmosphere, its portrayal of mental illness is one of the most sympathetic I’ve read since One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
I suspect Beside Myself will do better in Great Britain than in the United States. That is a pity because it blows Gone Girl or The Girl on the Train out of the water. Think Patricia Highsmith or Muriel Spark or Jose Saramago. Better yet, don’t think, just read it!
January 25, 2016
Phew that was some read!
My View:
Powerful! Intense! Confronting! This book has it all.
This book was a very difficult read- I read the first fifty pages or so and was in a dilemma – to continue or not? I found these first pages strangely horrific – the voice of the little girl, Helen, who constantly seeks to “teach her a lesson” (her being her twin sister Ellie), Helen’s voice is so nasty and malevolent I considered not reading any further. (And then there was the underlying hint of potential sexual abuse from a friend’s older brother, another sinister voice/character). I really was in two minds as to carry on or not.
Curiosity and a few days break from the book and I started reading again with an intensity that had me picking up this book every opportunity I could make. What a powerhouse of emotions and psychological twists this was! A brilliant study of identity, influences, how expectations effect children’s (and adults I presume too) personality, mental health, achievements and general wellbeing.
Mental health issues, suicide, self-harm, suicide are themes that are laid bare for all to consider. And the big one – the damage that is done when we do not believe a child – when they share they are being bullied or abused - in all forms of abuse. The most damage we can do is not believe or take seriously.
WOW! Just WOW! I am exhausted! This book is complex and intense and illuminating and surprisingly optimistic. I am so pleased I decided to continue on reading this book. Everyone should read this book – the world might be a better place if it pricks our conscience and makes us look at the person next to us with a little more compassion.
A fantastic debut novel!
My View:
Powerful! Intense! Confronting! This book has it all.
This book was a very difficult read- I read the first fifty pages or so and was in a dilemma – to continue or not? I found these first pages strangely horrific – the voice of the little girl, Helen, who constantly seeks to “teach her a lesson” (her being her twin sister Ellie), Helen’s voice is so nasty and malevolent I considered not reading any further. (And then there was the underlying hint of potential sexual abuse from a friend’s older brother, another sinister voice/character). I really was in two minds as to carry on or not.
Curiosity and a few days break from the book and I started reading again with an intensity that had me picking up this book every opportunity I could make. What a powerhouse of emotions and psychological twists this was! A brilliant study of identity, influences, how expectations effect children’s (and adults I presume too) personality, mental health, achievements and general wellbeing.
Mental health issues, suicide, self-harm, suicide are themes that are laid bare for all to consider. And the big one – the damage that is done when we do not believe a child – when they share they are being bullied or abused - in all forms of abuse. The most damage we can do is not believe or take seriously.
WOW! Just WOW! I am exhausted! This book is complex and intense and illuminating and surprisingly optimistic. I am so pleased I decided to continue on reading this book. Everyone should read this book – the world might be a better place if it pricks our conscience and makes us look at the person next to us with a little more compassion.
A fantastic debut novel!
February 8, 2016
I'm a sucker for a book about twins, and my expectations for an enjoyable read were blown completely out of the water by Ann Morgan in Beside Myself.
Twin sisters Helen (bossy) and Ellie (submissive) play a game one afternoon to swap identities, but Ellie won't change back. What happens next is an ever growing divide between sisters and fascinating process of character development and decline.
Beside Myself is a suspenseful read and an interesting look at identity and mental illness. I couldn't help but wonder what I would have done in Helen's situation.
Beside Myself by Ann Morgan is my favourite book of 2016 so far, although I'm not sure if it can stay at the top for the entire year, let's see.
* Copy courtesy of NetGalley *
Twin sisters Helen (bossy) and Ellie (submissive) play a game one afternoon to swap identities, but Ellie won't change back. What happens next is an ever growing divide between sisters and fascinating process of character development and decline.
Beside Myself is a suspenseful read and an interesting look at identity and mental illness. I couldn't help but wonder what I would have done in Helen's situation.
Beside Myself by Ann Morgan is my favourite book of 2016 so far, although I'm not sure if it can stay at the top for the entire year, let's see.
* Copy courtesy of NetGalley *
September 14, 2017
Non lo faccio quasi mai: ho scelto questo libro folgorata dalla sinossi. Sì, lo so, è come farsi attrarre dalla copertina, ma fatto sta che è andata così. Ed è andata male, anzi malissimo!
L' idea di fondo è attraente: due gemelle si scambiano tra loro per gioco, ma il tutto prenderà una brutta piega
Ora. Parliamo dei nomi? Era proprio necessario chiamare due gemelle Helen ed Ellie (poi si aggiunge Heloise, tanto per fare chiarezza!) ? Già, quando si è all' inizio, non si capisce chi sia la leader e chi la spalla, era proprio necessaria la somiglianza dei nomi? Vogliamo parlare dellla protagonista? Prima era Helen, poi Ellie, Trudy e Smudge. Aaaahh!
Dimenticavo quell' irritante vocina che s' insinua nei discorsi di Smudge ad ogni pie' sospinto, insopportabile!
Le tematiche sull' alcolismo, la malattia mentale, il bipolarismo, la depressione restano monconi.
Vedo recensioni che lo dipingono come un thriller inquietante e carico di suspance io lo trovo mediocre, noioso, scontato, banale e spesso ridicolo. Che ci posso fare?
L' idea di fondo è attraente: due gemelle si scambiano tra loro per gioco, ma il tutto prenderà una brutta piega
Ora. Parliamo dei nomi? Era proprio necessario chiamare due gemelle Helen ed Ellie (poi si aggiunge Heloise, tanto per fare chiarezza!) ? Già, quando si è all' inizio, non si capisce chi sia la leader e chi la spalla, era proprio necessaria la somiglianza dei nomi? Vogliamo parlare dellla protagonista? Prima era Helen, poi Ellie, Trudy e Smudge. Aaaahh!
Dimenticavo quell' irritante vocina che s' insinua nei discorsi di Smudge ad ogni pie' sospinto, insopportabile!
Le tematiche sull' alcolismo, la malattia mentale, il bipolarismo, la depressione restano monconi.
Vedo recensioni che lo dipingono come un thriller inquietante e carico di suspance io lo trovo mediocre, noioso, scontato, banale e spesso ridicolo. Che ci posso fare?
November 3, 2019
10-23 GdL Novità - Edicola & Libreria
Nonostante la lettura con il GdL che di solito è parte del divertimento, stavolta ho abbandonato questo romanzo.
Nonostante le premesse, il tema del doppio, il thriller psicologico, tutti argomenti che solitamente mi appassionano, c'è qualcosa che mi frena. L'atmosfera è troppo senza ritorno, manca qualcosa, un alternanza nella narrazione, un guizzo, uno spiraglio di speranza che animi il tutto, un qualcosa che faccia da contrasto.
L'atmosfera tra passato e presente è troppo monocorde, le voci le percepisco tutte uguali, ma questo forse è solo il momento sbagliato.
Nel senso che credo che tra libro e lettore ci debba essere il momento del giusto incontro, e forse sono solo io a non essere nelle corde e dell'umore giusto per entrare in questo romanzo.
Nonostante la lettura con il GdL che di solito è parte del divertimento, stavolta ho abbandonato questo romanzo.
Nonostante le premesse, il tema del doppio, il thriller psicologico, tutti argomenti che solitamente mi appassionano, c'è qualcosa che mi frena. L'atmosfera è troppo senza ritorno, manca qualcosa, un alternanza nella narrazione, un guizzo, uno spiraglio di speranza che animi il tutto, un qualcosa che faccia da contrasto.
L'atmosfera tra passato e presente è troppo monocorde, le voci le percepisco tutte uguali, ma questo forse è solo il momento sbagliato.
Nel senso che credo che tra libro e lettore ci debba essere il momento del giusto incontro, e forse sono solo io a non essere nelle corde e dell'umore giusto per entrare in questo romanzo.
June 12, 2016
I am a total pushover for books about twins (especially twin girls due to having my own!!) as twins are still seen as something a little bit different, with a mystical quality that still makes complete strangers stop and ask questions. I've been through them all personally myself "are they twins?" "are they identical?" and everyone's favourite quote "double trouble! You've got your hands full there!" So I was looking forward to this darker novel about twin girls who decide to swap places one day when they are six and, as one of them refuses to change back, it affects the lives of both girls into adulthood.
Helen is the "good twin" who does well at school and is much loved by their mummy whereas Ellie is a little slower, not so popular at school or home. One day Helen thinks it would be fun to change places and they swap clothes, hairstyles etc. But Ellie likes the attention and enjoys being Helen so refuses to swap back. This leaves Helen stuck in the "personality" of Ellie which gradually because hers when no one believes what has happened to her.
I found this such a sad book and was totally frustrated by it. The girls mother Margaret is awful! How 2 small girls can fool their own mother is totally unrealistic in my opinion but there are many hidden layers in this well executed debut novel and so you suspend believe as you get sucked into the story. It's a moral tale of how we act when we are pigeon holed into a specific role in life. My twins have taken place in studies since they were very young to see if it is nurture or nature that defines who we become as an adult. In this case, mental illness in the twins as adults is thought-provoking in very different ways, both girls affected by the differing life experiences and the personalities they took on.
Our main focus is Helen-who-becomes-Ellie and we don't get such an insight into Ellie. I would have liked more of her story if I'm honest to get a balanced idea of why things happened and how and why she reacted the way she did. But that didn't spoil my reading experience of this disturbing insight into how society defines us from a very early age. I will certainly look out for books by this author in the future.
I received a copy of the book from a competition giveaway in The Book Club.
Helen is the "good twin" who does well at school and is much loved by their mummy whereas Ellie is a little slower, not so popular at school or home. One day Helen thinks it would be fun to change places and they swap clothes, hairstyles etc. But Ellie likes the attention and enjoys being Helen so refuses to swap back. This leaves Helen stuck in the "personality" of Ellie which gradually because hers when no one believes what has happened to her.
I found this such a sad book and was totally frustrated by it. The girls mother Margaret is awful! How 2 small girls can fool their own mother is totally unrealistic in my opinion but there are many hidden layers in this well executed debut novel and so you suspend believe as you get sucked into the story. It's a moral tale of how we act when we are pigeon holed into a specific role in life. My twins have taken place in studies since they were very young to see if it is nurture or nature that defines who we become as an adult. In this case, mental illness in the twins as adults is thought-provoking in very different ways, both girls affected by the differing life experiences and the personalities they took on.
Our main focus is Helen-who-becomes-Ellie and we don't get such an insight into Ellie. I would have liked more of her story if I'm honest to get a balanced idea of why things happened and how and why she reacted the way she did. But that didn't spoil my reading experience of this disturbing insight into how society defines us from a very early age. I will certainly look out for books by this author in the future.
I received a copy of the book from a competition giveaway in The Book Club.
October 25, 2017
Una storia sul dolore, quello inconfessabile, quello intimo e inspiegabile. Una sola voce e un solo punto di vista, mentre il dolore delle altre persone coinvolte (pur essendo estremamente simile) è reso quasi futile rispetto a quello della protagonista. Ognuno di noi soffre da solo, il contatto vero tra le persone è impossibile, nonostante gli stereotipi e le illusioni che ci ostiniamo a voler credere, perfino i rapporti più stretti (madre/figli, gemelli) sono travolti da questa dura realtà
February 18, 2020
เรื่องราวการเล่นสลับตัวกันของฝาแฝดในวัยเด็ก ซึ่งบานปลายจนถึงปัจจุบัน ทำให้แฝดพี่ชีวิตผกผันจากหน้ามือเป็นหลังมือ ส่วนตัวคิดว่าไม่สนุก ไม่ถูกจริต การเฉลยปมตอนจบก็เฉยๆ ไม่รู้สึกว้าวอะไรเลย ให้2ดาวจ้า
August 11, 2016
“I’m Helen the good one because I was born first”
Reviews for this debut novel, have been very mixed, but overall quite positive, with most readers, including myself, taking something important away from its original, unique and unsettling story line, in what has recently become, a very crowded genre.
The characters themselves, almost to a person, were distinctly unlikeable, selfish and clinging; each motivated purely by their individual wants and needs, without any care or consideration for anyone around them, including the two young sisters, who to be honest, were just as bad.
The mother was by far and away the worst of the bunch, totally self-centred and needy. I really wanted to empathise with her position of having been left alone to care for two small children, in circumstances which were sure to have raised a few eye-brows; however she made this almost impossible, with her complete lack of motivation to care for her daughters and deal with even their most basic emotional needs. Her only interest was in persuading another man to replace her husband and take all the responsibility off her shoulders, whether he was the right person for the girls to have in their lives, or not!
After all, I asked myself several times, what normal mother would be unable to recognise one twin from another? A question which wasn’t to be answered until right near the end of the story, when the girls, now middle aged women, were partially reconciled and almost when it was too late. Although that, together with another startling and unexpected revelation, explained why Ellie had been so eager to stay in role as Helen, once the two girls had agreed to exchange identities as children.
Helen, in her new role as Ellie, was probably the most complex and difficult character to fathom out. Admittedly, as a six year old child, who was going to believe that she was anyone other than who she said she was, so when the real Ellie refuses to come out of role play and revert to being herself, Helen’s plan backfires spectacularly, despite her pleas and protestations. I really did struggle to get inside Helen’s psyche though, to see why she had regressed so totally into the personality of her challenged sister to such a degree, that her own tortured mental health suffered so badly.
In this multi-layered story, author Ann Morgan, has explored so many disturbing and thought-provoking issues, including: individual identity and the loss thereof; mental health issues, including those which remain unidentified and untreated; and dysfunctional family units where relationships have completely broken down, yet are left undetected – that by the end of the book, I was almost feeling the total loss and desolation of the characters, as if they were real people, me having become so immersed in their fictional lives.
I quickly got used to an excellent writing style, brutal in its honesty, which offered a unique, addictive and highly original voice, to a range of social expectations and mores, which define our individually unique, multi-layered qualities and personalities.
Ann Morgan is an author I hope to hear much more from.
Reviews for this debut novel, have been very mixed, but overall quite positive, with most readers, including myself, taking something important away from its original, unique and unsettling story line, in what has recently become, a very crowded genre.
The characters themselves, almost to a person, were distinctly unlikeable, selfish and clinging; each motivated purely by their individual wants and needs, without any care or consideration for anyone around them, including the two young sisters, who to be honest, were just as bad.
The mother was by far and away the worst of the bunch, totally self-centred and needy. I really wanted to empathise with her position of having been left alone to care for two small children, in circumstances which were sure to have raised a few eye-brows; however she made this almost impossible, with her complete lack of motivation to care for her daughters and deal with even their most basic emotional needs. Her only interest was in persuading another man to replace her husband and take all the responsibility off her shoulders, whether he was the right person for the girls to have in their lives, or not!
After all, I asked myself several times, what normal mother would be unable to recognise one twin from another? A question which wasn’t to be answered until right near the end of the story, when the girls, now middle aged women, were partially reconciled and almost when it was too late. Although that, together with another startling and unexpected revelation, explained why Ellie had been so eager to stay in role as Helen, once the two girls had agreed to exchange identities as children.
Helen, in her new role as Ellie, was probably the most complex and difficult character to fathom out. Admittedly, as a six year old child, who was going to believe that she was anyone other than who she said she was, so when the real Ellie refuses to come out of role play and revert to being herself, Helen’s plan backfires spectacularly, despite her pleas and protestations. I really did struggle to get inside Helen’s psyche though, to see why she had regressed so totally into the personality of her challenged sister to such a degree, that her own tortured mental health suffered so badly.
In this multi-layered story, author Ann Morgan, has explored so many disturbing and thought-provoking issues, including: individual identity and the loss thereof; mental health issues, including those which remain unidentified and untreated; and dysfunctional family units where relationships have completely broken down, yet are left undetected – that by the end of the book, I was almost feeling the total loss and desolation of the characters, as if they were real people, me having become so immersed in their fictional lives.
I quickly got used to an excellent writing style, brutal in its honesty, which offered a unique, addictive and highly original voice, to a range of social expectations and mores, which define our individually unique, multi-layered qualities and personalities.
Ann Morgan is an author I hope to hear much more from.
July 22, 2016
Twins Helen – adventurous and outgoing, and Ellie, the one who hangs back and defers to her sister, decide to swap names as a prank. Ellie pretends to be Helen, deliberatively being assertive. Helen copies her slower sister’s mannerisms and behaviour. The trouble is, Ellie likes it and won’t admit there’s been a swap. Helen can’t convince anyone that she’s not Ellie. The people they become, the characters they adopt, change their futures.
I enjoyed the idea of this very much but couldn’t really buy into the concept. It was stated on two occasions that Ellie was the slower of the two because she’d had the birth cord wrapped around her neck and the resulting oxygen deprivation caused her to be like this. I couldn’t believe that simply from aping her sister, she could go from being the lagging twin to the achiever. She became the successful ‘Helen’ and her twin, ostensibly Ellie, suffered problems afterward. We definitely take up other people’s ideas about us. If you’re told you’re a loser often enough you’ll give up striving. I can’t see how you could go from being a less able child to a brilliant adult, though. A good read but not a convincing one, for me.
I enjoyed the idea of this very much but couldn’t really buy into the concept. It was stated on two occasions that Ellie was the slower of the two because she’d had the birth cord wrapped around her neck and the resulting oxygen deprivation caused her to be like this. I couldn’t believe that simply from aping her sister, she could go from being the lagging twin to the achiever. She became the successful ‘Helen’ and her twin, ostensibly Ellie, suffered problems afterward. We definitely take up other people’s ideas about us. If you’re told you’re a loser often enough you’ll give up striving. I can’t see how you could go from being a less able child to a brilliant adult, though. A good read but not a convincing one, for me.
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