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Self to Lose - Self to Find: A Biblical Approach to the 9 Enneagram Types
Self to Lose–Self to Find examines the invitation of Jesus to lose yourself in order to find your true self, and presents the personality system known as the Enneagram within this biblical framework. It guides you toward liberating self-awareness by detailing nine distinct personality patterns, each with particular gifts and challenges. By learning about your type, you • Embrace the truth about your God-given identity • Uncover your deeper motivations, longings, and ways of suffering • Discern between the self to lose and the self Jesus invites you to find • Enhance your relationships by appreciating others more • Own-up to what keeps you from possessing the abundant life Jesus offers. John Kiemele, PhD and Executive Director of Selah Center say of this book, "It's a rare find! Marilyn Vancil weaves three threads — the biblical story, the Enneagram wisdom, and real-life experiences— into this compelling and essential resource for those who long for a more free and fruitful life. This grounded, hands-on offering is a rare gift indeed!" David Daniels, co-author of The Essential Enneagram, states, “In Self to Lose - Self to Find, Marilyn Vancil provides a thoughtful and ground-breaking analysis of the Enneagram system and its valuable contribution to the work of development and liberation in the Christian life."
205 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 29, 2016
234 people are currently reading
1315 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 127 reviews
August 27, 2018
This was eye-opening and life changing for me.
December 17, 2017
Well done, Marilyn Vancil. She’s approached the Enneagram with a fresh viewpoint within the framework of solid Christian discipleship, while also unpacking the beautiful contemplative potential to be found there.
May 8, 2022
Worth Reading Especially for Fives!
The most valuable part of this book is at the very end. Something she calls the OWN UP process. It is so practically helpful. I actually did it in real time while reading it in the book and got more insight in a couple of hours than in months of just reading and observing. As a type 5 observation comes naturally and so I started to feel like self observation for me was just feeding my fixation. This process took me beyond the isolated/compartmentalized observation and into something more full bodied or nuanced. I highly recommend to everyone but especially type Fives and other thinking types who struggle with ego syntonic views of their personality or traits.
The most valuable part of this book is at the very end. Something she calls the OWN UP process. It is so practically helpful. I actually did it in real time while reading it in the book and got more insight in a couple of hours than in months of just reading and observing. As a type 5 observation comes naturally and so I started to feel like self observation for me was just feeding my fixation. This process took me beyond the isolated/compartmentalized observation and into something more full bodied or nuanced. I highly recommend to everyone but especially type Fives and other thinking types who struggle with ego syntonic views of their personality or traits.
October 15, 2022
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was really helpful to see the enneagram through a biblical lens and I really enjoyed her analogy of a seed as we are slowly letting go of our adaptive seed coat to become the authentic flower that God has designed us to be. It resonates because there is death to self in the shedding of the “seed coat” which is the natural and self protective ways we normally operate as we turn toward growth and embrace more vulnerable and life giving patterns knowing we are safe and loved.
I thought that the explanation of each type along with the subtypes, integration and disintegration arrows, and wings were really helpful and gave me more understanding of what has been confusing aspects of the enneagram for me. This is definitely a helpful resource if you are interested in learning more about the enneagram.
I thought that the explanation of each type along with the subtypes, integration and disintegration arrows, and wings were really helpful and gave me more understanding of what has been confusing aspects of the enneagram for me. This is definitely a helpful resource if you are interested in learning more about the enneagram.
September 1, 2019
I've noticed that books that end strong are remembered as good by most readers. Such is "Self to Lose." I thought the beginning dragged and was slightly annoying -- lots of musings and quotes and scripture. I love musings and quotes and scripture, it just seemed like an awful lot and not very tight. But then Vancil transitions into talking about the Enneagram and the book just soars. It's inspiring and enlightening as well as practical. Definitely worth the read.
September 3, 2019
I personally find the Enneagram types to be one of the most useful personality descriptions I’ve used, and this is a quite interesting integration of Enneagram types with biblical concepts. I personally found a few of their type descriptions not quite as clear to me as ones I’ve read elsewhere, though, so I feel like this book shouldn’t really be a stand-alone but would be best along with other resources.
January 3, 2022
The information on the Enneagram wasn’t new to me, but Marilyn’s approach to it was and I have yet to find an approach that I love as much as hers. She talks about the relationship between the “authentic self” and the “adapted self”, and particularly the last section of the book detailing the OWN-UP acronym is one that is changing how I think about growth in godliness.
September 15, 2025
Probably the most helpful book on the enneagram I've read. Very easy to read, personal, and insightful. Feel like I have action steps to move forward with.
September 16, 2022
As a believer and a fan of the Enneagram I found this audiobook really helpful. One I need to listen to again.
August 4, 2019
If you want to learn about the Enneagram from a solid biblical foundation this is definitely a book to get. I really enjoyed how she brought out the good and the bad of each type with a heavy emphasis on God's ability to redeem the "eeewww" aspects of each type.
August 20, 2020
As a spiritual director, people I meet with often ask me to recommend books on the Enneagram, and Marilyn’s is one of the best I have to offer. For Christians who don’t always see the Enneagram’s connection to biblical principals, Marilyn helps connect the insights of the Enneagram with the deep invitation to wholeness found in Jesus.
A few things I love about this book:
While many authors name the nine Enneagram types based on their false or adaptive self, Marilyn chooses to call out the specific way each type reflects God. For instance, the Type One, or what is usually called The Perfectionist, is called A Reflection of God’s Goodness and Righteousness. This helps us root in the hope and promise of being made in the image of God, even while the Enneagram invites us to examine the ways we are bound by our adaptive self.
Marilyn also includes beautiful prayers written in the voice of each type and words of affirmation from God written specifically to each type. I have used these in spiritual direction sessions and found them to be powerful in helping people unlock what they most need to hear from and say to God.
Finally, while many Enneagram books give you a lot to think about, Marilyn’s book goes beyond that in offering “OWN-UP”, a practical tool Marilyn created that invites reflection and helps you identify when and how your adaptive self is holding you back from freedom and peace.
I highly recommend this book to those interested in a biblical foundation for the Enneagram, and especially those shepherding others towards healing and wholeness in Christ.
*I received a free copy of the new edition from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
A few things I love about this book:
While many authors name the nine Enneagram types based on their false or adaptive self, Marilyn chooses to call out the specific way each type reflects God. For instance, the Type One, or what is usually called The Perfectionist, is called A Reflection of God’s Goodness and Righteousness. This helps us root in the hope and promise of being made in the image of God, even while the Enneagram invites us to examine the ways we are bound by our adaptive self.
Marilyn also includes beautiful prayers written in the voice of each type and words of affirmation from God written specifically to each type. I have used these in spiritual direction sessions and found them to be powerful in helping people unlock what they most need to hear from and say to God.
Finally, while many Enneagram books give you a lot to think about, Marilyn’s book goes beyond that in offering “OWN-UP”, a practical tool Marilyn created that invites reflection and helps you identify when and how your adaptive self is holding you back from freedom and peace.
I highly recommend this book to those interested in a biblical foundation for the Enneagram, and especially those shepherding others towards healing and wholeness in Christ.
*I received a free copy of the new edition from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
January 3, 2021
This is a book that gets better as it goes. The descriptions of the types, the prayers, and the process of transformation clearly are Vancil's wheelhouse. I would imagine that this material has been worked by many years of wise practice with others. I will definitely use some of her practices in my own life.
Saying that though, I find some of the foundational assumptions about the enneagram difficult to agree with. The language of "true" self emerging past a "false" self (or "authentic" through an "adaptive") is problematic for me on theological grounds. I'm still working out the details but I'm pretty sure that this theological anthropology can't get supported with much Christology. Ironically, Vancil quotes Karl Barth in ways that from my reading of him do not fit with his understanding of the self or his Christology.
This foundation is not Vancil's fault since it seems to run through all enneagram literature. What is unfortunate, in my opinion, is that Vancil tries to connect the enneagram to strong theological roots, an impossible task from the outset. The wisdom literature tradition, which Vancil draws on a good deal, is likely a much firmer foundation than the imago dei and theological anthropology. She uses the "writings" Pslams, Proverbs, and a very interesting passage from James, to good effect.
Wisdom, and in the end the enneagram, offers guidance and direction and ways to flourish in life. Is that not sufficient to merit use in Christian lives? Do we need to justify the enneagram further than it is wise? Because I do think that Vancil and her practice of helping others follow Jesus through the wisdom of the enneagram has something substantial to offer. No need to dress it up in theological language when that only distracts from what it really is - wisdom for understanding self and others in relation to God.
Saying that though, I find some of the foundational assumptions about the enneagram difficult to agree with. The language of "true" self emerging past a "false" self (or "authentic" through an "adaptive") is problematic for me on theological grounds. I'm still working out the details but I'm pretty sure that this theological anthropology can't get supported with much Christology. Ironically, Vancil quotes Karl Barth in ways that from my reading of him do not fit with his understanding of the self or his Christology.
This foundation is not Vancil's fault since it seems to run through all enneagram literature. What is unfortunate, in my opinion, is that Vancil tries to connect the enneagram to strong theological roots, an impossible task from the outset. The wisdom literature tradition, which Vancil draws on a good deal, is likely a much firmer foundation than the imago dei and theological anthropology. She uses the "writings" Pslams, Proverbs, and a very interesting passage from James, to good effect.
Wisdom, and in the end the enneagram, offers guidance and direction and ways to flourish in life. Is that not sufficient to merit use in Christian lives? Do we need to justify the enneagram further than it is wise? Because I do think that Vancil and her practice of helping others follow Jesus through the wisdom of the enneagram has something substantial to offer. No need to dress it up in theological language when that only distracts from what it really is - wisdom for understanding self and others in relation to God.
May 12, 2017
As the first book I've read on the Enneagram, I expect this is a helpful addition to the collection, approaching the types from a Christian framework. Some components of the framework presented may not fit perfectly in all Christian worldviews, but the ideas are worth at least consider and wrestling with.
I don't think this can be the only book you read on the Enneagram (is there any such book? It seems a system that lends itself to never-ending contemplation and research.), but it worked as an introduction for me.
I don't think this can be the only book you read on the Enneagram (is there any such book? It seems a system that lends itself to never-ending contemplation and research.), but it worked as an introduction for me.
May 25, 2020
“In a society strapped to self-sufficiency, it is rare to find Enneagram wisdom that is truly wise. Vancil brings together our being and our becoming, hidden not simply in the depths of our own selves but in the heart of Christ.”
(That’s from my official endorsement, but I’m so thrilled Random House is re-releasing Marilyn’s beautiful book, that I had to share early.)
(That’s from my official endorsement, but I’m so thrilled Random House is re-releasing Marilyn’s beautiful book, that I had to share early.)
September 26, 2017
The best book yet on how to integrate the Enneagram and becoming more authentic with the teachings of the Bible
August 16, 2020
This book is incredible! Marilyn makes the Enneagram not just informative but transformative for healthy living and growing faith. Recommend 100%
February 13, 2021
How rich this book was. I started it over twice because it leaves you wanting more intimacy with Christ.
April 21, 2018
I suppose at some point I should wonder how many books on personality a person can (should?) read. But each one has different insights, and this book had some good ones about tying personality to spiritual growth. The author has a writing style that exudes wisdom, and some of the points she made I'm still pondering. She bases the book around the idea of having an adapted self vs. authentic self and unpacks some common misunderstandings around denying ourselves (disowning the old self instead of self-deprivation), sin ("missing the true goal and scope of life"), and following Jesus ("to accompany, to express union...") as relates to our unique personalities.
She also suggests a framework for analyzing our "adapted self" which I could see being very helpful, especially for those who struggle with self-reflection. Surprisingly, the middle section of the books that covers the enneagram types, wings and such felt like the weakest part of the book. I didn't feel like her characterizations were that helpful and definitely think there are books that unpack the ins and outs of the enneagram much better. However, the beginning and end were well worth the read to me.
One of the passages I'm chewing on:
"[The] welcoming phase also involves welcoming God right into the midst of our experience. This is different from giving all our negative feelings over to God and hoping He does something with them. That type of so-called surrender can actually be a way of ignoring and escaping from our unpleasant inner experiences, rather than allowing God to be with us in them. For example, if I'm angry at someone and find myself wanting to hurt them, I can pray, 'God, take these feeling away from me.' Or I can pray, 'God, I'm feeling mad and want revenge. I invite you to be with me in these feeling.' It may seem like a subtle difference, but I've found the practice of welcoming God into the truth of my experience has been much more transformational than passing my feeling off to Him."
She also suggests a framework for analyzing our "adapted self" which I could see being very helpful, especially for those who struggle with self-reflection. Surprisingly, the middle section of the books that covers the enneagram types, wings and such felt like the weakest part of the book. I didn't feel like her characterizations were that helpful and definitely think there are books that unpack the ins and outs of the enneagram much better. However, the beginning and end were well worth the read to me.
One of the passages I'm chewing on:
"[The] welcoming phase also involves welcoming God right into the midst of our experience. This is different from giving all our negative feelings over to God and hoping He does something with them. That type of so-called surrender can actually be a way of ignoring and escaping from our unpleasant inner experiences, rather than allowing God to be with us in them. For example, if I'm angry at someone and find myself wanting to hurt them, I can pray, 'God, take these feeling away from me.' Or I can pray, 'God, I'm feeling mad and want revenge. I invite you to be with me in these feeling.' It may seem like a subtle difference, but I've found the practice of welcoming God into the truth of my experience has been much more transformational than passing my feeling off to Him."
May 28, 2023
I would recommend any leader read this book it is gold. The author's description of each one of the Enneagram types is clear and very practical. I would highly recommend that if you are team building with leaders chapter 7, connects how each one of the styles manifest themselves in the Three Centers of each person: First, the Body or Instinctual Center which is concerned with Power & Control and is Anger Based. Second, The Head Center which is concerned with safety and security and is fear based. Third, The heart Center, which is concerned with esteem and affection and is shame based (p. 139-144). Furthermore, the author connects the dots on how these centers are lived out in three basic social styles:
1) The Withdrawn Types tend to move away from people and hold their energy back, finding solace and comfort in their inner world, especially when faced with situations that feel demanding, contentious, our overwhelming (p. 146).
2) The Assertive Types tend to move against people and exert their energy to overcome social discomfort and often acts first without thinking about how their actions affect others (p. 146).
3) The Dutiful Types tend to move with people and focus their energy on responding to what is front of them (p. 147).
All of this is gives a great understanding on how the Holy Spirit desires to work in each person in putting off one's adaptive side (False-Self), and live and serve out of their Truer-Self. The author gives solid biblical and theological basis for the need of conforming to image of Christ in each one of the Personality Styles.
I highly recommend that Pastors use read this book and is a great tool; too help teams learn how to understand each others uniqueness in Christ as well as learning to work with each other through conflict.
1) The Withdrawn Types tend to move away from people and hold their energy back, finding solace and comfort in their inner world, especially when faced with situations that feel demanding, contentious, our overwhelming (p. 146).
2) The Assertive Types tend to move against people and exert their energy to overcome social discomfort and often acts first without thinking about how their actions affect others (p. 146).
3) The Dutiful Types tend to move with people and focus their energy on responding to what is front of them (p. 147).
All of this is gives a great understanding on how the Holy Spirit desires to work in each person in putting off one's adaptive side (False-Self), and live and serve out of their Truer-Self. The author gives solid biblical and theological basis for the need of conforming to image of Christ in each one of the Personality Styles.
I highly recommend that Pastors use read this book and is a great tool; too help teams learn how to understand each others uniqueness in Christ as well as learning to work with each other through conflict.
August 10, 2020
Marilyn Vancil explains the Enneagram personality system in reference to Scripture, focusing on God’s commands for us to take off the old self and put on the new. She explains that when someone understands their type, they can leave behind their “adapted self” and discover who God intended them to be. Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram to Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self is a great resource for Enneagram beginners, aficionados, and skeptics alike. Vancil explores the congruent relationship between the Enneagram and a Scriptural understanding of human nature, and shares guidance for how readers can grow by integrating this new self-understanding into their relationships and spiritual life.
Vancil breaks down complex ideas into understandable forms, and because she builds on the Enneagram system gradually, instead of introducing all of the elements at once, she keeps the book from becoming overwhelming and confusing. She also avoids the common trap of sharing long, intimate stories about different people in her life. She gives the book a personal touch through her concrete illustrations of abstract ideas, but she never narrows her focus to particular type expressions that she has seen in herself or others. All of the descriptions are broadly applicable.
This is a revised, updated edition of the author’s previous book. Since I have not read the other, I do not know how this compares or what is different about it, but I enjoyed it very much. I appreciate the author’s emphasis on personal growth, and about how the Enneagram can help people recognize and move away from the sinful and broken ways that they see the world and engage with others. This book encourages readers to grow into the positive traits that God has given them, and is a clear, positive, and encouraging guide.
I received a temporary digital ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Vancil breaks down complex ideas into understandable forms, and because she builds on the Enneagram system gradually, instead of introducing all of the elements at once, she keeps the book from becoming overwhelming and confusing. She also avoids the common trap of sharing long, intimate stories about different people in her life. She gives the book a personal touch through her concrete illustrations of abstract ideas, but she never narrows her focus to particular type expressions that she has seen in herself or others. All of the descriptions are broadly applicable.
This is a revised, updated edition of the author’s previous book. Since I have not read the other, I do not know how this compares or what is different about it, but I enjoyed it very much. I appreciate the author’s emphasis on personal growth, and about how the Enneagram can help people recognize and move away from the sinful and broken ways that they see the world and engage with others. This book encourages readers to grow into the positive traits that God has given them, and is a clear, positive, and encouraging guide.
I received a temporary digital ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
August 3, 2020
Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram to Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self, Revised and Updated
By: Marilyn Vancil
CONVERGENT BOOKS
2020
I am reviewing a copy of Self to Lose, Self to Find through Convergent Books and Netgalley:
Is the Enneagram a new age symbol, or is it Biblical?
What exactly does the Enneagram have to do with Jesus?
Marilyn Vancil who has been studying the Enneagram and how it relates to Christianity for over three decades describes it this way: The Enneagram is an accumulation of ancient spiritual teachings and current psychological research.
Vancil goes on to describe our false self, or our self to loose as the one that needs to adapt, adjust, and accommodate to the world in which we live. It’s the self we eventually believe we must be in order to survive and have our basic needs met.
Our Self to Find is described as our new self, our true self the one created to reflect God’s image in a unique way. It’s our deeper self that’s made to be in union with God. It’s the self that longs to emerge through the layers of our Adapted Self in order to experience and express our original design.
Why is it we don’t live more freely as our true self, the one God created us to be? What is it that blocks our god like Characteristics from being shown in our everyday lives? Why is it that treasure of our true self is hidden so much of the time? Vancil points out that one reason is we are covered by our adapted self.
I found Marilyn Vancil’s information and how it pertains to Christianity and our walk with Christ.
I give Self to Loose, Self to Find five out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
By: Marilyn Vancil
CONVERGENT BOOKS
2020
I am reviewing a copy of Self to Lose, Self to Find through Convergent Books and Netgalley:
Is the Enneagram a new age symbol, or is it Biblical?
What exactly does the Enneagram have to do with Jesus?
Marilyn Vancil who has been studying the Enneagram and how it relates to Christianity for over three decades describes it this way: The Enneagram is an accumulation of ancient spiritual teachings and current psychological research.
Vancil goes on to describe our false self, or our self to loose as the one that needs to adapt, adjust, and accommodate to the world in which we live. It’s the self we eventually believe we must be in order to survive and have our basic needs met.
Our Self to Find is described as our new self, our true self the one created to reflect God’s image in a unique way. It’s our deeper self that’s made to be in union with God. It’s the self that longs to emerge through the layers of our Adapted Self in order to experience and express our original design.
Why is it we don’t live more freely as our true self, the one God created us to be? What is it that blocks our god like Characteristics from being shown in our everyday lives? Why is it that treasure of our true self is hidden so much of the time? Vancil points out that one reason is we are covered by our adapted self.
I found Marilyn Vancil’s information and how it pertains to Christianity and our walk with Christ.
I give Self to Loose, Self to Find five out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
May 28, 2020
I have done a lot of inner work the last year and a half with the Enneagram. I had to step away for a while, because it all got to be too much and felt really overwhelming. But I was feeling a tugging to look deeper again and this book did not disappoint. I have found it to explain and give language for all the things I couldn't quite put my finger on and articulate. It also just has such a beautiful perspective on a handful of scriptures that I feel my religion growing up continually missed. The way Vancil explains it just made sense to my spirit. It finally felt like that is what that really means! It brought new levels of freedom and energy to my spirit. I feel like this book is an invaluable resource and it will be one I reference back to many times over. I love that she gives us tools to take time with the examining process and that we can experience growth if we're willing to do the work. I highly recommend this book if you are interested in the Enneagram and you want to get at the true gift that this tool is to us. It is not a personality test to brag about your number. This is so far from the heart of the Enneagram. It's an uncomfortable process to examine all the ways you hide and cope and to be willing to examine them so you can grow and be set free. But if you will go into it willingly you will not be disappointed. Peace and freedom are waiting on the other side for you. I hope you will be brave and do the work. It is so worth it!!
September 5, 2020
Self to Lose, Self to Find is a Christian self-help book using the Enneagram to find your God-gifted self. The book is organized into five sections including Scriptural Foundation, Nine Personality Types, and Prayers For Each Type. The one the stuck out to me most was the section named Prayers For Each Type. I saw myself in one main personality type but in each prayer I saw a take-away that would benefit me. The thesis of this book is to experience freedom from the old self into the new free self.
I did not realize the Enneagram has been practiced for many years, it is relatively new to me. I had heard of the Enneagram before reading this book but I didn’t invest much time in it. I wondered if this was really a practice Christians could use. I believe the author Marilyn Vancil’s purpose in writing this book is to inform.
Two crucial questions the author asks are: (1) How does it support my desire to follow Jesus? and (2) How does its knowledge line up with the teachings of the Bible?
I recommend this book to readers interested in the Enneagram and personality types.
Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
I did not realize the Enneagram has been practiced for many years, it is relatively new to me. I had heard of the Enneagram before reading this book but I didn’t invest much time in it. I wondered if this was really a practice Christians could use. I believe the author Marilyn Vancil’s purpose in writing this book is to inform.
Two crucial questions the author asks are: (1) How does it support my desire to follow Jesus? and (2) How does its knowledge line up with the teachings of the Bible?
I recommend this book to readers interested in the Enneagram and personality types.
Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
September 5, 2020
Self to Lose, Self to Find is a Christian self-help book using the Enneagram to find your God-gifted self. The book is organized into five sections including Scriptural Foundation, Nine Personality Types, and Prayers For Each Type. The one the stuck out to me most was the section named Prayers For Each Type. I saw myself in one main personality type but in each prayer I saw a take-away that would benefit me. The thesis of this book is to experience freedom from the old self into the new free self.
I did not realize the Enneagram has been practiced for many years, it is relatively new to me. I had heard of the Enneagram before reading this book but I didn’t invest much time in it. I wondered if this was really a practice Christians could use. I believe the author Marilyn Vancil’s purpose in writing this book is to inform.
Two crucial questions the author asks are: (1) How does it support my desire to follow Jesus? and (2) How does its knowledge line up with the teachings of the Bible?
I recommend this book to readers interested in the Enneagram and personality types.
Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
I did not realize the Enneagram has been practiced for many years, it is relatively new to me. I had heard of the Enneagram before reading this book but I didn’t invest much time in it. I wondered if this was really a practice Christians could use. I believe the author Marilyn Vancil’s purpose in writing this book is to inform.
Two crucial questions the author asks are: (1) How does it support my desire to follow Jesus? and (2) How does its knowledge line up with the teachings of the Bible?
I recommend this book to readers interested in the Enneagram and personality types.
Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
August 27, 2020
As a person who majored in Elementary Education and Child Family Studies, I have always been interested in personalities and the psychology of behavior. It was a natural for me to pick up one more tool for understanding the human psyche. Marilyn‘s book "Self to Lose-Self to Find" was perfect for me, in that I could use it to focus in on individual strengths and weaknesses of the personality with the added help of a Biblical Application. "Self to Lose-Self to Find" goes further to explore the potential of a “redeemed self”, and helps me to better understand myself and others through a lens of redemption. In other words, we know better how to deal with the weaknesses and strengths and where to focus our energy in a positive way, to encourage others and ourselves in the strengths of our God-given nature.
I enthusiastically recommended Marilyn's book to many friends just after her first edition was released, and even invited Marilyn to teach the 9 Enneagram types in a workshop setting for all who were interested. It was very well received. Recently, my daughter requested that for her 40th birthday retreat- those of us coming would review our types in Marilyn’s book and have a discussion. We used that time to validate one another in our own types and it was a very moving time for us all. I highly recommend this book. ~Betsy
I enthusiastically recommended Marilyn's book to many friends just after her first edition was released, and even invited Marilyn to teach the 9 Enneagram types in a workshop setting for all who were interested. It was very well received. Recently, my daughter requested that for her 40th birthday retreat- those of us coming would review our types in Marilyn’s book and have a discussion. We used that time to validate one another in our own types and it was a very moving time for us all. I highly recommend this book. ~Betsy
July 29, 2020
This book has such depth I will be rereading and processing for years to come. Which is a great thing, because it's so important to continue learning and growing as the author helps teach in this book.
The author teaches how the nine Enneagram types not only interact with each other, but with God. It brings an understanding about personality in ways that is very sensible and obviously well researched. The author explains each type and helps you to figure out which type you are. And helps in such a spiritual way I think everyone needs to read this to understand humans in general.
I love that the book also has prayers for each type, and ways to handle our emotions and personalities and to continually grow and self-evaluate. I also love how well she describes scripture and how it matters to our enlightenment.
This book is one of the best I've read in a while on improving and understanding our self and our relationship with God. I've always been interested in personality types, and this book was so insightful and full of depth, without being boring. Very interesting writing.
Thanks to the author, publisher, and Netgalley for allowing me to read and review.
The author teaches how the nine Enneagram types not only interact with each other, but with God. It brings an understanding about personality in ways that is very sensible and obviously well researched. The author explains each type and helps you to figure out which type you are. And helps in such a spiritual way I think everyone needs to read this to understand humans in general.
I love that the book also has prayers for each type, and ways to handle our emotions and personalities and to continually grow and self-evaluate. I also love how well she describes scripture and how it matters to our enlightenment.
This book is one of the best I've read in a while on improving and understanding our self and our relationship with God. I've always been interested in personality types, and this book was so insightful and full of depth, without being boring. Very interesting writing.
Thanks to the author, publisher, and Netgalley for allowing me to read and review.
March 18, 2023
I have been on an Enneagram journey for several years. I've taken tests, I've read books, I've looked things up online. But this is the book that honestly has changed my life. Because it guides you and challenges you to use the Enneagram for growth. To become the best version that you have been created to be. I’d say this is the first book on the subject that I have read that was more than just the aha moments of “ oh, so that explains why I am the way I am”. I got this book in Nov and just now finished. You can read it in one sitting but that is not what I did. I studied a chapter a week and when I say I studied, I mean I studied. I read the chapter multiple times, finding new things each time I read it. I make notes in the margin, I hi-lighted and underlined. When I got to the chapter on the types, I read one type a week. So it’s really taken me a long time to get through this. I’ve also taken this journey with a friend, and we meet regularly to discuss what we’ve read like a book study of sorts. If you want to take a deep dive with the tools to transform then this is the book for you. It's kind of cool when you are reading a book that feels like it's a book written about you!
March 28, 2020
“𝘐’𝘮 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘢 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘫𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵.”
I liked the approach to this one. Marilyn comes at the Enneagram from the perspective that it can help us identify our true self and as believers, this helps us better understand not only who God made us but Who He is; how we reflect His image. She starts off addressing how we initially put on our man-made self, a persona, but through salvation, we come to discover our true self, one that is truly free. Then she goes into explaining the Enneagram. It’s nothing too in-depth, but it’s a pretty good introduction, and she shares quotes from those who identify with the different types and how they transitioned into the healthy and best version of themselves. One thing I really liked is that she talks some about sub-types (self-preservation, social, one-on-one/sexual) which I have not seen mentioned in any of the other Enneagram books I’ve read yet. I appreciated that she too likens the types to colors; for example, there are millions of shades of blues but they all still classify as blue. My dad and I are both 5s, and although we share so many commonalities, we are still very different. (This is why I like the Enneagram - it’s more layered and less boxy than other personality tools)
I know many use the Enneagram as simply a personality tool and there are others who take it a step further, delving into what it can mean for those who are religious and live out faith, and I do believe it’s useful as both! But, if you fall into the latter category, this one is more for you.
I liked the approach to this one. Marilyn comes at the Enneagram from the perspective that it can help us identify our true self and as believers, this helps us better understand not only who God made us but Who He is; how we reflect His image. She starts off addressing how we initially put on our man-made self, a persona, but through salvation, we come to discover our true self, one that is truly free. Then she goes into explaining the Enneagram. It’s nothing too in-depth, but it’s a pretty good introduction, and she shares quotes from those who identify with the different types and how they transitioned into the healthy and best version of themselves. One thing I really liked is that she talks some about sub-types (self-preservation, social, one-on-one/sexual) which I have not seen mentioned in any of the other Enneagram books I’ve read yet. I appreciated that she too likens the types to colors; for example, there are millions of shades of blues but they all still classify as blue. My dad and I are both 5s, and although we share so many commonalities, we are still very different. (This is why I like the Enneagram - it’s more layered and less boxy than other personality tools)
I know many use the Enneagram as simply a personality tool and there are others who take it a step further, delving into what it can mean for those who are religious and live out faith, and I do believe it’s useful as both! But, if you fall into the latter category, this one is more for you.
January 27, 2019
If you are a Christ follower and at all interested in the Enneagram, start (or continue) here. More than simply a Christian perspective on the Enneagram, this is an exhortation to follow Christ and the explanation of a tool to help you on the way. Although the actual chapters on the framework are short, they are full of information and surrounded by incredible application steps.
I have been reading and learning about the Enneagram for about two years, and God has shown me some deep truths about myself through this way of looking at the world. Lately, I was beginning to feel confused with it and wondering if it was taking over my life in negative ways. This book brought me back to why it’s worth continued exploration: so I can be more Christlike and more the self He made. Particularly valuable is the OWN UP application piece at the end. I will be using this and even modifying it to talk through some things with my eight year old.
Thank you, Marilyn, for sharing your wisdom.
I have been reading and learning about the Enneagram for about two years, and God has shown me some deep truths about myself through this way of looking at the world. Lately, I was beginning to feel confused with it and wondering if it was taking over my life in negative ways. This book brought me back to why it’s worth continued exploration: so I can be more Christlike and more the self He made. Particularly valuable is the OWN UP application piece at the end. I will be using this and even modifying it to talk through some things with my eight year old.
Thank you, Marilyn, for sharing your wisdom.
May 21, 2020
The writing style of this book is so inviting, so captivating, so rhythmic and so flowing! I had literally devoured this book in a matter of days once receiving it. The concepts and ideas shared are so clarifying, illuminating, and the practices shared are directly applicable. The author uses her own personal growth struggles and coming-forth awarenesses as examples of how to apply the self-development steps included. This I found incredibly helpful — what a great way to show us how to apply the processes shared, on ourselves. The Enneagram types are thoughtfully (and spiritually) explained, with a clear delineation made between each type's authentic self and its adapted self. This cleverly provides us with an incisive way to identify two distinctive parts of ourselves, by type, and what to pursue as far as our own development. I highly recommend this book to all who want to know themselves and want to learn the Enneagram.
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