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Toppest Tips
For over 2 years, the popular Top Tips and Letterbocks Facebook groups have been churning out some of the most bizarre musings of comedic wisdom on the internet and this 2 in 1 book features the funniest Top Tips and Star Letters created by the community members.
Tips
KIDNEY beans make great kidney implants for Action Man after he's knifed from behind while walking home from Barbie's house.
AVOID switching your mobile phone off at a funeral by simply changing your ringtone to the sound of a cough.
FOOL your neighbours into believing you're going on an expensive holiday to Mexico, by leaving the house with suitcases and wearing a sombrero, then park up somewhere in the next town for three weeks.
VACUUM cleaner manufacturers. Install headphone ports into your products, then only the user will have to listen to the noise.
INTERNET BROKEN? Recreate Google street view of London by dropping some acid and standing above a half finished game of Monopoly.
Letters
AFTER picking up a dropped umbrella for an old woman she said "you are one in a million". I've always thought of myself as a one off and as there are 53 million people in Britain alone and however many billion in the world, she must think I'm relatively common. Last time I stop to help anyone you just get insulted.
T Hick,
Lincoln
MY SON fell asleep at a recent house party we had so I decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face. My wife went mental when she picked him up to change his nappy.
Andy P,
Lester.
I'M SICK and tired of these young hippies holding signs up on the road. I know exactly where I'm going and don't need some unemployed tree hugger giving me directions. Furthermore, don't patronise me with your 'thumbs up' seal of approval. If I want to find out the credibility of road directions, a quick Sat Nav search will suffice.
Stu Pid,
Route 66.
I DIDN'T realise how exercise mad disabled people are. I've just been in a disabled bathroom and there is a chin up bar next to the toilet. Fair play.
Jonny S,
Swindon.
DON HENLEY. I wouldn't bother with that girl after the boys of Summer have gone. She sounds a bit easy to me.
Andrew Smalls,
Sutton.
Tips
KIDNEY beans make great kidney implants for Action Man after he's knifed from behind while walking home from Barbie's house.
AVOID switching your mobile phone off at a funeral by simply changing your ringtone to the sound of a cough.
FOOL your neighbours into believing you're going on an expensive holiday to Mexico, by leaving the house with suitcases and wearing a sombrero, then park up somewhere in the next town for three weeks.
VACUUM cleaner manufacturers. Install headphone ports into your products, then only the user will have to listen to the noise.
INTERNET BROKEN? Recreate Google street view of London by dropping some acid and standing above a half finished game of Monopoly.
Letters
AFTER picking up a dropped umbrella for an old woman she said "you are one in a million". I've always thought of myself as a one off and as there are 53 million people in Britain alone and however many billion in the world, she must think I'm relatively common. Last time I stop to help anyone you just get insulted.
T Hick,
Lincoln
MY SON fell asleep at a recent house party we had so I decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face. My wife went mental when she picked him up to change his nappy.
Andy P,
Lester.
I'M SICK and tired of these young hippies holding signs up on the road. I know exactly where I'm going and don't need some unemployed tree hugger giving me directions. Furthermore, don't patronise me with your 'thumbs up' seal of approval. If I want to find out the credibility of road directions, a quick Sat Nav search will suffice.
Stu Pid,
Route 66.
I DIDN'T realise how exercise mad disabled people are. I've just been in a disabled bathroom and there is a chin up bar next to the toilet. Fair play.
Jonny S,
Swindon.
DON HENLEY. I wouldn't bother with that girl after the boys of Summer have gone. She sounds a bit easy to me.
Andrew Smalls,
Sutton.
269 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 7, 2016
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