The Ministry of SUITs

Ministry of SUITs #1

by Paul Gamble

Memo: For Ministry of Strange, Unusual, and Impossible Things Operatives Only

A series of strange incidents have been reported in Belfast:

* Oddball kids are going missing
* There are several unconfirmed signs of pirates.
* A wild bear known to be a very sore loser at musical statues has escaped from the museum and is on the rampage.

Fortunately, our newest recruits, Jack Pearse, a curious boy skilled at logical thinking and seeing what's actually there, and Trudy Emerson, the most dangerous girl in his school, are on the case. As per Ministry policy, they are currently being trained in the use of The Speed (patent pending) and will have full access to Ministry supplies (assuming they manage to navigate the paperwork without going insane), so we are confident that they will succeed in their mission to discover and foil this villainous plot.

Please provide all assistance possible, as a) they don't know who they are actually up against, b) the world is much stranger than they realized, and c) they are only 12 and have to be in bed by 10 p.m.

P.S.-Could all Ministry operatives who have borrowed dinosaurs in the past two weeks please return them? We're running low on inventory.

Genres: Fantasy, Middle Grade, Mystery, Humor, Adventure, Childrens, Juvenile

400 pages, Paperback

First published July 26, 2016

Reviews

[Virginia · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5 stars?

This would be a 3-3.5 star read - it's absurdist and funny, has lots of action, it's got some good heart, and I like the characters.
But I dropped it 2 whole stars because it has the (unoriginal) bit about the tooth fairy being a large, bulky guy in a pink tutu. And despite literally meeting Cthulhu and other such creatures, that is the "strangest-looking guest [they've] ever seen" (p 233). And that obnoxious "joke" is repeated twice more. Because obviously the most hilarous/weirdest thing is the tooth fairy being a huge musculy man in a pink tutu. Fail, Mr Gamble.

also, lots of fat-shaming.

I won't be reading the sequel, and I won't be recommending this to friends and family, or in my job at a library.

[Becky B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jack is a pretty normal boy. He's not super smart or dumb. He's not super popular, but he is generally well-liked. There's just one area where Jack stands out. He's super curious. Curious to the extent he gets that thing about cats and curiosity and death quoted to him all the time. After rescuing a man from being mauled by a bear in morning traffic, Jack's curiosity leads him to find the organization the man works for, the Ministry of Strange Unusual and Impossible Things. Becoming an agent for the Ministry of S.U.I.T.s is easier than Jack ever would have imagined. Staying alive as an agent and figuring out how to complete missions... that's a bit more challenging. And it is up to Jack and his partner to figure out what is going on at their school and save several fellow students (and maybe all of Northern Ireland).

If you like random and silly humor, you NEED this book. If you like things black and white, don't touch it. The Ministry Jack joins is full of some wild characters. The things he learns about his world are utterly ridiculous and funny. Every chapter ends with an excerpt from the Ministry of SUITs' handbook, which are zany explanations for everyday events or will straighten out what you thought you knew with the "truth" (most of which is highly imaginative, utterly absurd, but definitely humorous). Wrapped up in the goofiness is a spy mission worthy of James Bond but with some issues even Bond has never faced and tools Bond may have wished he had (I'm sure Bond wished he had a herd of dinosaurs at some point). It was hilarious fun. The end gets a teensy bit more serious because it is do or die time, but overall it should get several laughs and chuckles out of readers. I personally can't wait to get my hands on book two. If you have readers who have enjoyed Healy's League of Princes, Harrell's Life of Zarf books, or Sanderson's Alcatraz Smedry books and needs something similar, hand them this series. And like all of those other books, this one is great for reluctant readers.

Notes on content: Two minor swear words. No sexual content or decency issues. There are some battles with supernatural beings and some get fatal wounds (one creature is described as being torn in half) bad guys threaten some with maiming and one main character gets a slice and stabbing in their shoulder. Blood and guts are not described much at all, and most injuries are hardly mentioned just implied.

[Klaus Baudelaire · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't particularly care for this book. It was confusing and weird. It made some odd attempts to be funny but it was just weird. I know this book is geared for another audience so someone else may like it. So I'm not totally saying it's terrible, but I personally didn't.

[Kathy Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This middle grade adventure was one of the silliest books I have ever read. Twelve-year-old Jack becomes an agent for the Ministry of SUITs (Strange, Unusual and Impossible Things) when he saves his friend from being attacked by a bear by using a chair from a bistro to hold him off. According to this story, bears are afraid of wooden chairs because trees are one of the few things they can't overpower.

This book is filled with all sorts of silly things told in footnotes and in pages from the manual of the Ministry of SUITs. I'm not quite sure how much of this is middle grade humor but I did find myself chuckling as I read this one. The Tooth Fairy is a big, burly guy who runs around in a pink tutu and who claims any teeth found under pillows whether or not they have come out of the mouth they grew in.

Jack and his new partner Trudy find themselves up against pirates, dinosaurs, and other strange creatures as they try to figure out who is taking odd kids (including Jack's best friend David) and why they are being taken.

This one was fun and there is room for sequels. I'll be looking for them.

[Sam Kuntz · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Ministry of SUITs follows a boy named Jack Pearse and a girl named Trudy Emerson as they save their hometown in Northern Ireland from pirates.

Jack notices small things about the world that most people would never even think about. Trudy is known for being moody. She is kind of mean and quite good at gymnastics. The book mostly focuses on Jack because he is the main character.

My favorite thing about this book is all the humor. It is very, very funny. I also enjoyed the absurdist take on the world.

I also liked the footnotes. When I was reading other peoples reviews there seemed be at least two out of five reviews that did not like the footnotes.

One thing that I enjoy was that all P.E teachers are pirates. I like this because P.E teachers do seem a little evil.

My favorite character is the Misery. I enjoy how he doesn't consider himself mean, he just is.

I don't really have any strong dislikes about this book.

All in all, this book did not take that long to read, but it is hilarious. I would recommend this to anyone who enjoys slightly longer, absurd and funny stories.

[Claire Fayers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to receive an ARC of this book to read.

The Ministry of Suits takes care of everything ordinary people don’t want to believe in anymore. Pirates, unicorns, dinosaurs, the chaos deity Cthulhu, that kind of thing. New recruits Jack and Trudy have to uncover an evil plot based around their own school, whilst struggling through Ministry training and mountains of paperwork (maybe it was a bad idea to put Cthulhu in charge of the filing system.)

This is an insanely funny debut - Men in Black meets Douglas Adams with extra bad puns. The storyline is utterly bonkers, stuffed full of odd-ball characters. And I defy anyone to read the pages from the Ministry Handbook with a straight face.

[Leo Boone · Rating 5 out of 5]

IT WAS AMAZING. IT COMPLETELY CHANGED MY PERSPECTIVE OF THE WORLD, I JUST SAW A SHOE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD NOW I'M SCARED AS HECK! NEVER SLEEP WITH YOUR HEAD UNDER THE PILLOW! THE TOOTH FAIRY WILL STEAL THEM. But seriously, it was pretty good, overall, with it's sense of humor. However I think the footnotes were overloaded. That's usually a bad quality in a book, in this one however, I think it added on. This is definitely going on my top 10 favorite books of all time list. Peculiar Children, move over, There's a new oddball book in town!

[David Findlay · Rating 3 out of 5]

This starts really well, Like a Terry Pratchett for under 12s, clever, witty and frothy fun. However, unlike Pratchett, it never gets beyond this. There is little development of character and the villain does not get a chance to shine. Your smart-arsed Y5s and Y6s will lap it up.

[Alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book fits squarely into a subgenre best dubbed "children's absurdism." While it does seem a bit ridiculous and some alternate logic reminded me unpleasantly of that which people use to deny science and established fact, it's an enjoyably irreverent journey. With lots of footnotes. Loads and loads of footnotes. (Please note this is a common feature of books in the category of children's absurdism.)

[Liz Friend · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story: Jack's curiosity is going to get him killed, Mom warns. But our hero never thought it would get him a job at the Ministry of S.U.I.T.s (Strange, Unusual & Impossible Things)...and yet, here he is. Operatives use The Speed--and other arcane techniques--to keep one step ahead of the world's biggest cache of pirates, all the dinosaurs that didn't go extinct, and a steampunk monster. And if you think THAT sounds funny, check out the narrator's footnotes!

June Cleaver's ratings: Language PG; Violence PG; Sexual content G; Nudity G; Substance abuse G; Magic & the occult G; GLBT content G; adult themes PG (megalomaniac trying to take over the world); overall rating PG.

Liz's comments: I thought this book was hilarious--it had a bunch of laugh-out-loud moments, and I'm a grown up! Plus, there's the best use of footnotes since Jonathan Stroud's Bartimaeus series. Simply because of its size, it's better for good 5th grade readers, and up.

[Marlana · Rating 1 out of 5]

I want to start off by saying I think it's a tremendous undertaking to write a book and to get a novel published is an accomplishment. I hate giving one star reviews, but I really don't believe The Ministry of S.U.I.T.S is worthy of a two star review.

The characters are largely uninteresting, unbelievable, and unlikeable. There is a lot of talk about Jack being well liked among his peers, but there is really nothing about Jack that is likeable. He isn't particularly brave or smart or talented. He has really no distinguishing characteristics other than his curiosity. The same can be said for the other characters. They are all one dimensional and flat.

The plot crosses the territory between the fantastical to the ridiculous and I believe it was meant to be so, but the author fails in making the ridiculousness of the plot funny or cute or even entertaining. The plot and the novel itself are just so far fetched it's incredibly annoying.

There are also a great number of footnotes. A regrettable amount of footnotes I must say. Footnotes should only be included sparingly as to not break up the reading of the book and should only be added when necessary or justifiable. There are footnotes for the sake of footnotes. It is an attempt by the author at being funny, but it misses the mark.

I'm not really sure who the target audience of The Ministry of S.U.I.T.S really is. It's a middle grade novel, but there is a juvenile tone to the writing that would be better suited to younger readers. There are jokes in the book though that you would have to be an adult to understand. I think Mr. Gamble was attempting to write a novel that would be appealing to all ages, but rather I think it's unappealing to most.

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was very hard for me to get through, I’m not sure why. The concept is fun, and the story line is different enough that it doesn’t feel stale. I think my issue is that I’m not a fan of absurdist writing. Being weird and quirky just to be weird and quirky. Jack is curious. When he sees one shoe in the road he has lots of questions about it. According to this book a shoe in the middle of the road can only mean one thing, Pirates. Following this logic this book spins out a story where Bears are afraid of chairs (like you see in old timey circuses) because they are afraid of trees…. So Jack finds out that there is ministry that is dedicated to these strange occurrences, though once he joins his line of this logic stops which to me was a little frustrating. For me this is a book for kids who like wacky adventures that shouldn’t make sense. Fourth/Fifth grade on up.

Favorite part was Cthulhu.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book won't match everyone's sense of humor, but I got a huge kick out of it, especially the excerpts from the Ministry of SUITs Handbook, such as:

"The most famous pirate escape to occur in recent years was that of the notorious French pirate, Jacques le Magiste. Jacques was a pin-up amongst pirates. He inspired everyone he met. He never took any prisoners, never spent his treasure, always choosing to bury it instead, and further boasted that whatever any other pirate did once he would do twice. Of course this made Jacques rather easy to capture, as he had no hands, just two hooks, no legs, just two wooden pegs and no eyes, just two patches."

It should be noted that pirates have little to do with the majority of the story. It reminded me more of a screwball Men in Black for kids (though adults would enjoy it too) with magical creatures instead aliens. I also liked that it was set in Northern Ireland.

[Aelvana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jack has too much curiosity and a tendency to think about the world around him. Unsurprisingly, that leads to him getting mixed up with an agency devoted to taking care of the unusual things that normal people think don't exist (or don't exist anymore, like dinosaurs and pirates). When the sinister Mr. Teach sponsors his school, he knows there's got to be more going on. But it's going to take all his wits, the power to slow down time, and the help of the scariest girl in school to get to the bottom of this . . .

This reminds me so much of Terry Pratchett's work. From the abundant footnotes to the cheerfully logical absurdities, it was always throwing out something that made me laugh. Like the ongoing thread about the aspirations of scarecrows to become store mannequins. Or the various digressions on pirates, or the origin of ninjas, or why dolphins are the most educated aquatic mammals.

Overall this was a light but funny read, and I'm eager to see where the series goes from here. I rate this book Recommended.

See my reviews and more at https://offtheshelfreviews.wordpress....

[Jessie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am always on the lookout for a good read aloud. Ministry of Suits is a book that makes you stop reading silently to say, "listen to this." After the third or fourth instance, you just want to place the book in the other person's hands. We had to get a copy from the library so multiple family members could read this at the same time.
My favorite thing about the Ministry of Suits in the clever narration (footnotes for the win!). An organization that alternatively fights, hides, and protects the "impossible" was captivating. I loved Jack's curiosity and acceptance of his new world.
If you or your kids like humorous books, you HAVE to read this.

[Bertie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really like the premise of this book when I picked it up. There are part that made me genuinely laugh out loud (although these parts were mostly towards the beginning). The number of fat shaming jokes was disappointing to say the least, and added nothing to the story. The way ninjas and mummies were handled dripped with covert racism. Also, the “joke” about the big, muscle stacked man in a tutu (the tooth fairy) being the oddest thing around was just bad and misogynistic. I’m sorry, but a large man in a tutu is not stranger than Cthulu, were-insects, or gigantic moles.

1.5-2, and not something I would want my kids to read.

[Stephanie Willing · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm rounding up to a 4. This book is funny--like, really funny--and totally absurdist, illogical, and impossible. But it didn't grab me by the heartstrings. Writing is good, the world is relatively interesting, and I can definitely see kids enjoying the heck out of this. It relieves heavily on silly footnotes and ridiculous definitions and false histories, which is probably useful from a learning pov for kids grappling with more academic or reference books.

[Mira · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me laugh a lot. I really enjoyed the addition of side characters such as the Tooth Fairy, Cthulhu, and the Bear. The prologue was very interesting, and I read part of it to my younger brother. The footnotes are something that I don’t often see in a fiction/fantasy book (I’ve read a lot), but they are hilarious. The personalities of the characters are interesting, and it makes me want to read more. Overall, I loved this book.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book! It had me chuckling away as I was reading this. The footnotes reminded me of Terry Pratchett and I have now re-evaluated everything, especially why kids ask so many questions! Clue: it’s because the author told them to!!
If you want something that’s funny and clever and is really easy to get stuck into then this is the book for you!

[Ryan Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent for fans of footnotes, asides and semi-tangential, almost-accurate information that makes sense if you tilt your head to one side and squint harshly at the page. S.U.I.T..S shares many similarities with Michael Buckley's N.E.R.D.S. series and both hit the mark for middle-grade readers looking for adventure that leans more to the silly than the serious.

[Tully Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really like this book especially the footnotes! I was laughing most of the time so it took me so long to read. I definitely recommend this book to all ages, and I hope that you enjoy it just as much as me!

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious, preposterous, and only slightly socially problematic. A book with dozens of footnotes about the tog-ratings of duvets and the exact Dulux colour match for a blushing protagonist works well for me. Especially when it has pirates *and* dinosaurs, too.

[Anna Schilke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quirky. This book was delightfully quirky. Pirates still exist. So do dinosaurs. And the tooth fairy (although he's not someone I'd want to meet in a dark ally). Nothing profound; no great moral. Just loads of strange adventures and wacky organizations and the most amazing footnotes I've ever seen.

[Mary Doran Cosgrove · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was incredibly fun and enjoyable. It had an interesting and charming writing style that reminded me a little bit of Lemony Snicket. It wasn't powerful or meaningful at all, but it was definitely fun, and I think it's good for books to just be that sometimes. Overall, I liked reading it.

[Kevin Zwiefelhofer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun & creative book will look for additional books to come in this series. So many delightful explanations for the ways things around us are. Recommended read!

[Brett Turner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun book. Kids will certainly enjoy the "facts" contained within the pages.

[Bec · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun concept and definitely entertained me, someone who is presumably older than the target audience.

[MrsMamfa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved reading a book set in Belfast with places I recognise and love, it’s just a very strange and unusual read.

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just couldn’t get into the story. All of the side notes and pointless footnotes distracted from the story.

[Sherri · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun, quirky middle school fantasy-adventure book. First in a new series.