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Documenting Light
If you look for yourself in the past and see nothing, how do you know who you are? How do you know that you are supposed to be here?
When Wyatt brings an unidentified photograph to the local historical society, he hopes staff historian Grayson will tell him more about the people in the picture. The subjects in the mysterious photograph sit side by side, their hands close but not touching. One is dark, the other fair. Both wear men’s suits.
Were they friends? Lovers? Business partners? Curiosity drives Grayson and Wyatt to dig deep for information, and the more they learn, the more they begin to wonder — about the photograph, and about themselves.
Grayson has lost his way. He misses the family and friends who anchored him before his transition and the confidence that drove him as a high-achieving graduate student. Wyatt lives in a similar limbo, caring for an ill mother, worrying about money, unsure how and when he might be able to express his nonbinary gender publicly. The growing attraction between Wyatt and Grayson is terrifying — and incredibly exciting.
As Grayson and Wyatt discover the power of love to provide them with safety and comfort in the present, they find new ways to write the unwritten history of their own lives and the lives of people like them. With sympathy and cutting insight, Ottoman offers a tour de force exploration of contemporary trans identity.
When Wyatt brings an unidentified photograph to the local historical society, he hopes staff historian Grayson will tell him more about the people in the picture. The subjects in the mysterious photograph sit side by side, their hands close but not touching. One is dark, the other fair. Both wear men’s suits.
Were they friends? Lovers? Business partners? Curiosity drives Grayson and Wyatt to dig deep for information, and the more they learn, the more they begin to wonder — about the photograph, and about themselves.
Grayson has lost his way. He misses the family and friends who anchored him before his transition and the confidence that drove him as a high-achieving graduate student. Wyatt lives in a similar limbo, caring for an ill mother, worrying about money, unsure how and when he might be able to express his nonbinary gender publicly. The growing attraction between Wyatt and Grayson is terrifying — and incredibly exciting.
As Grayson and Wyatt discover the power of love to provide them with safety and comfort in the present, they find new ways to write the unwritten history of their own lives and the lives of people like them. With sympathy and cutting insight, Ottoman offers a tour de force exploration of contemporary trans identity.
292 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 31, 2016
8 people are currently reading
1016 people want to read
About the author
E.E. Ottoman
29 books346 followerswrites romance novels, wears pretty clothes, does history stuff.
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October 16, 2016Well that was bloody good.
The characters. Grayson and Wyatt are so real and raw it pulls your heart out. Just trying to get by, struggling with the endless crap, major and minor, the weary grind, and still managing to find hope and joy and inspiration in each other and for themselves. Incredibly human, for good or ill, and relatable.
The writing. I don't think I've read a romance where I highlighted so many quotes. This from Wyatt when he's trying to find the courage to tell someone, anyone, he's nonbinary:
Nnnngg. So good.
And I loved the premise, the photograph, the thoughtfulness about history and power and representation. Just, loved it. A really intelligent, moving romance. You want this.
The characters. Grayson and Wyatt are so real and raw it pulls your heart out. Just trying to get by, struggling with the endless crap, major and minor, the weary grind, and still managing to find hope and joy and inspiration in each other and for themselves. Incredibly human, for good or ill, and relatable.
The writing. I don't think I've read a romance where I highlighted so many quotes. This from Wyatt when he's trying to find the courage to tell someone, anyone, he's nonbinary:
When it came to trans people, he usually knew, no matter how stealth, real or passing. Like he'd been reaching out for something for so long, he didn't realise he still had his hand extended until someone reached back.
Nnnngg. So good.
And I loved the premise, the photograph, the thoughtfulness about history and power and representation. Just, loved it. A really intelligent, moving romance. You want this.
August 31, 2016
I’ve been a fan of EE’s for nearly two years now and I’ve read and admired all their work. They has a mention on my very-favourite-authors list (containing only 4 authors) and that’s due to them having made an actual lasting change in my life.
With Documenting Light they has published their first contemporary romance, venturing out of their SFF (comfort) zone. It is an important book and it is just as much their usual brand as it is different – meaning they is true to themself, yet claiming new territory.
Documenting Light is a very quiet and laid-back book. It’s slow and lovely and the fact that it takes place in winter only highlights that. As always, EE is very gentle with their characters and caring. They takes their time to introduce them, gives them a background and family, and moreover, writes them a happy ending that is exactly made just for them.
Documenting Light is a love story about two very real people and it has nothing of the fairytale like romance elements we so often find in books of the romance genre. At this point, it gets a bit tricky since I don’t want to give anything away… But, sometimes life is difficult – often, actually – and problems don’t go away only because we find a partner. When reading a book, I sometimes catch myself musing about what the author probably intends to write for the characters to give them the best happily ever after. It’s just so neat. There’s a problem and look, here’s the solution. That’s where Documenting Light is different and that’s one of the things I like the most about this book, because it challenges the standard romance narrative and instead of giving us romantic cures for problems, we have just two people getting together and sharing their every day and personal struggles, which is even more fulfilling to read about, since we’re shown a story of love that could very well be us.
Apart from the romance, the search for the people in the old photograph takes up an important role in the book as well.
I really liked this and was curious about the men in the photo and wanted to get to know their story. Where are they from? Why was their photo taken and why was it hidden in the house? It was absolutely engrossing (although I am not at all that interested in history) and also allowed for good pacing and plot development and the musings about research and science today being heteronormative, just like everything else, were really interesting, too.
I have only two very small niggles here. In the last third of the book the flow is a little bit missing, or rather the chapters/story lines feel a little bit next to each other, while before it felt more as a whole. I also do not entirely buy how abruptly Wyatt and Grayson get intimate with each other, since everything thus far had been going so slow and hesitant.
I hope it is not too pretentious of me to claim that we can find a lot of EE in this book and in this it is and feels very much like an own voices book. Their being trans themself and their fight for equality shines through the pages and their love for history and research is palpable. I believe that this book is very close to their heart and I’m thrilled that they shared this with us.
I loved reading this book very much. It’s unique, very well written, and I hope you’ll give it a try! Highly recommended.
In case you missed it, have a look at the interview with EE here…
__________________________________
Genre: contemporary romance
Tags: trans, queer history
Rating: 4.5 stars
Blog: Review for Just Love Romance
Disclosure: ARC in exchange for review, *buys anyway*
With Documenting Light they has published their first contemporary romance, venturing out of their SFF (comfort) zone. It is an important book and it is just as much their usual brand as it is different – meaning they is true to themself, yet claiming new territory.
Documenting Light is a very quiet and laid-back book. It’s slow and lovely and the fact that it takes place in winter only highlights that. As always, EE is very gentle with their characters and caring. They takes their time to introduce them, gives them a background and family, and moreover, writes them a happy ending that is exactly made just for them.
Documenting Light is a love story about two very real people and it has nothing of the fairytale like romance elements we so often find in books of the romance genre. At this point, it gets a bit tricky since I don’t want to give anything away… But, sometimes life is difficult – often, actually – and problems don’t go away only because we find a partner. When reading a book, I sometimes catch myself musing about what the author probably intends to write for the characters to give them the best happily ever after. It’s just so neat. There’s a problem and look, here’s the solution. That’s where Documenting Light is different and that’s one of the things I like the most about this book, because it challenges the standard romance narrative and instead of giving us romantic cures for problems, we have just two people getting together and sharing their every day and personal struggles, which is even more fulfilling to read about, since we’re shown a story of love that could very well be us.
Apart from the romance, the search for the people in the old photograph takes up an important role in the book as well.
It was odd, when he stopped to think about it, to never see yourself reflected in history, to have no sense of yourself in time. The idea that you could be linked to others across time and space based on shared experience—it had always seemed like it didn’t apply to people like him.
I really liked this and was curious about the men in the photo and wanted to get to know their story. Where are they from? Why was their photo taken and why was it hidden in the house? It was absolutely engrossing (although I am not at all that interested in history) and also allowed for good pacing and plot development and the musings about research and science today being heteronormative, just like everything else, were really interesting, too.
I have only two very small niggles here. In the last third of the book the flow is a little bit missing, or rather the chapters/story lines feel a little bit next to each other, while before it felt more as a whole. I also do not entirely buy how abruptly Wyatt and Grayson get intimate with each other, since everything thus far had been going so slow and hesitant.
I hope it is not too pretentious of me to claim that we can find a lot of EE in this book and in this it is and feels very much like an own voices book. Their being trans themself and their fight for equality shines through the pages and their love for history and research is palpable. I believe that this book is very close to their heart and I’m thrilled that they shared this with us.
I loved reading this book very much. It’s unique, very well written, and I hope you’ll give it a try! Highly recommended.
In case you missed it, have a look at the interview with EE here…
__________________________________
Genre: contemporary romance
Tags: trans, queer history
Rating: 4.5 stars
Blog: Review for Just Love Romance
Disclosure: ARC in exchange for review, *buys anyway*
October 13, 2016
Oh, that was so sweet and tender and heart-warming! Everybody needs love and affection and a place in the world and they the right to it, they deserve it and when get the chance to have it, it can be beautiful!
Full review which is also posted on Ellie Reads Fiction
This book is an example of why I love reading in general and reading romance in particular, stories like this one are magical and they help us see and relate to each other as human beings regardless of the differences between us.
The romance between Grayson and Wyatt is slow going, unassuming, it takes time to develop, all this making it real. There is a strong attraction but both of them are shy, a bit insecure, coming to terms with their own selves and being with another person did not come easily to either of them. Add to this some serious real-life family/professional issues they were dealing with and connecting with another person the way they did was both soothing and taxing on them.
The need for human connection, for acceptance especially for marginalized people, though I really feel most people have this need and most of us feel marginalised in one way or another. I loved how understated this story was, just ordinary, yet special people, struggling to find their place in life. That desire not to be alone and to have someone by your side, someone you can share yourself with, it spoke to me so much.
My only minor quibble is that at times the messages of the story came off as too strong to the point of being didactic. I liked the easy flow of the writing, though occasionally the unfolding of the story seemed too slow, falling too much into scientific discussion of historical research rather than following the characters on their journey towards happiness/fulfillment.
I very much liked focus the author put on the everyday aspects of life - two people meet, fall in love and slowly mesh their lives together. There are awkward moments, and setbacks and both welcome and hurtful intrusions of family but ultimately it's a story of two people dealing with being trans who find the way to be a couple, to love themselves and each other.
Full review which is also posted on Ellie Reads Fiction
This book is an example of why I love reading in general and reading romance in particular, stories like this one are magical and they help us see and relate to each other as human beings regardless of the differences between us.
The romance between Grayson and Wyatt is slow going, unassuming, it takes time to develop, all this making it real. There is a strong attraction but both of them are shy, a bit insecure, coming to terms with their own selves and being with another person did not come easily to either of them. Add to this some serious real-life family/professional issues they were dealing with and connecting with another person the way they did was both soothing and taxing on them.
The need for human connection, for acceptance especially for marginalized people, though I really feel most people have this need and most of us feel marginalised in one way or another. I loved how understated this story was, just ordinary, yet special people, struggling to find their place in life. That desire not to be alone and to have someone by your side, someone you can share yourself with, it spoke to me so much.
My only minor quibble is that at times the messages of the story came off as too strong to the point of being didactic. I liked the easy flow of the writing, though occasionally the unfolding of the story seemed too slow, falling too much into scientific discussion of historical research rather than following the characters on their journey towards happiness/fulfillment.
I very much liked focus the author put on the everyday aspects of life - two people meet, fall in love and slowly mesh their lives together. There are awkward moments, and setbacks and both welcome and hurtful intrusions of family but ultimately it's a story of two people dealing with being trans who find the way to be a couple, to love themselves and each other.
September 1, 2016
Full Review on www.allaboutromance.com/book-review/d...
This is a sweet, gentle romance and in my opinion an important book.
For those of us who have gone before.
Your stories will not be forgotten.
Wyatt’s mother is in failing health due to Alzheimer’s, so he, his sister and her fiancé are moving her into an apartment. They hope it will be easier for her there than at the large family farm. While at the farm, Wyatt finds a photo hidden between the ceiling beams and insulation. This photo is obviously old and pictures two men sitting either side of a table. There is a nervousness about their expressions and the candid nature of the portrait calls to Wyatt. He approaches the local historical society to see if they can shed light on the photo and those pictured.
Help comes in the form of Grayson, a trans man and very well qualified historical researcher. Grayson works part-time in a deli and part-time at the historical society, as neither job is well paid. However, history is his joy and despite being disowned by most of his family when he transitioned, he strives to keep his skills and love for history alive.
After a slightly disastrous first date, mainly due to Wyatt’s awkward behaviour, Wyatt decides to try again and makes the big decision to explain by coming out for the first time as genderqueer, to Grayson. During an emotional conversation, Wyatt asks that Grayson uses the gender neutral pronouns – they/their/them – as I shall from now on, where relevant, in this review. Mutual interest in the lives behind the photo binds the two closer, as they begin a relationship which allows them to be themselves.
There is something so intimate about the bond between Wyatt and Grayson that made me feel grateful to be allowed into their world for a while. The plot is set against the backdrop of family and financial worries, but together, Wyatt and Grayson face both with tenderness and love. Grayson has an accepting brother with two little girls who love Uncle Grayson, and Wyatt’s sister and Mother know they are attracted to men, but not that they are genderqueer / nonbinary.
Generally, people react badly to what they don’t understand. I think readers are the same and they avoid novels, even romantic ones where they do not understand the protagonists. Documenting Light shows that love is between people and that queer people are not to be feared. It is sad that lovers and their stories should have to be explained. However, showing by example in enjoyable romantic novels like this will maybe help, and reduce the concern often displayed in a currently heteronormative society.
Grayson and Wyatt, by searching for answers regarding the two men in an old photo, reveal to the reader the reality of being erased from history and often abused in life. There are some beautiful insightful passages – like this one where Wyatt wonders how Grayson will react to them –
When it came to trans people, he usually knew, no matter how stealth, real or passing. Like he’d been reaching out for something for so long, he didn’t realize he still had his hand extended until someone reached back…
Unease settled on him when he thought about the way some binary trans people were toward nonbinary trans people like him. Would Grayson see him? Geeky, unsure, but also with a nice smile, pretty hands – and Wyatt liked to think he was funny…
Or would Grayson just see a man in a dress?
The story of their search for information about the photo is interwoven around their love story, family troubles and what Grayson has had to endure in his young life for being true to himself. The author doesn’t harp on about this, but rather, slowly reveals the consequences of his family’s abandonment and its impact on Grayson’s life.
Their research becomes a method of revealing themselves to each other, whilst revealing hints about the treatment of queer history, women’s history and the history of people of colour and marginalised backgrounds. It was fascinating to read about the enormity of history while enjoying the intimate, small story of two people falling in love.
I said that I felt this book is important – I do. If people fear what they do not know then this gentle sweet story can give any reader an insight into what it is like to live and love, as an ordinary trans / queer person in the twenty-first century. More than that, it urges the reader to consider what it is like to be erased from history...
This is a sweet, gentle romance and in my opinion an important book.
For those of us who have gone before.
Your stories will not be forgotten.
Wyatt’s mother is in failing health due to Alzheimer’s, so he, his sister and her fiancé are moving her into an apartment. They hope it will be easier for her there than at the large family farm. While at the farm, Wyatt finds a photo hidden between the ceiling beams and insulation. This photo is obviously old and pictures two men sitting either side of a table. There is a nervousness about their expressions and the candid nature of the portrait calls to Wyatt. He approaches the local historical society to see if they can shed light on the photo and those pictured.
Help comes in the form of Grayson, a trans man and very well qualified historical researcher. Grayson works part-time in a deli and part-time at the historical society, as neither job is well paid. However, history is his joy and despite being disowned by most of his family when he transitioned, he strives to keep his skills and love for history alive.
After a slightly disastrous first date, mainly due to Wyatt’s awkward behaviour, Wyatt decides to try again and makes the big decision to explain by coming out for the first time as genderqueer, to Grayson. During an emotional conversation, Wyatt asks that Grayson uses the gender neutral pronouns – they/their/them – as I shall from now on, where relevant, in this review. Mutual interest in the lives behind the photo binds the two closer, as they begin a relationship which allows them to be themselves.
There is something so intimate about the bond between Wyatt and Grayson that made me feel grateful to be allowed into their world for a while. The plot is set against the backdrop of family and financial worries, but together, Wyatt and Grayson face both with tenderness and love. Grayson has an accepting brother with two little girls who love Uncle Grayson, and Wyatt’s sister and Mother know they are attracted to men, but not that they are genderqueer / nonbinary.
Generally, people react badly to what they don’t understand. I think readers are the same and they avoid novels, even romantic ones where they do not understand the protagonists. Documenting Light shows that love is between people and that queer people are not to be feared. It is sad that lovers and their stories should have to be explained. However, showing by example in enjoyable romantic novels like this will maybe help, and reduce the concern often displayed in a currently heteronormative society.
Grayson and Wyatt, by searching for answers regarding the two men in an old photo, reveal to the reader the reality of being erased from history and often abused in life. There are some beautiful insightful passages – like this one where Wyatt wonders how Grayson will react to them –
When it came to trans people, he usually knew, no matter how stealth, real or passing. Like he’d been reaching out for something for so long, he didn’t realize he still had his hand extended until someone reached back…
Unease settled on him when he thought about the way some binary trans people were toward nonbinary trans people like him. Would Grayson see him? Geeky, unsure, but also with a nice smile, pretty hands – and Wyatt liked to think he was funny…
Or would Grayson just see a man in a dress?
The story of their search for information about the photo is interwoven around their love story, family troubles and what Grayson has had to endure in his young life for being true to himself. The author doesn’t harp on about this, but rather, slowly reveals the consequences of his family’s abandonment and its impact on Grayson’s life.
Their research becomes a method of revealing themselves to each other, whilst revealing hints about the treatment of queer history, women’s history and the history of people of colour and marginalised backgrounds. It was fascinating to read about the enormity of history while enjoying the intimate, small story of two people falling in love.
I said that I felt this book is important – I do. If people fear what they do not know then this gentle sweet story can give any reader an insight into what it is like to live and love, as an ordinary trans / queer person in the twenty-first century. More than that, it urges the reader to consider what it is like to be erased from history...
November 19, 2016
My first reaction to the end of Documenting Light and the fact that was that choosing that ending was a more realistic way of wrapping up the topic of the difficulties of researching hidden queer history, and I wondered if this made the book more literary fiction rather than genre.
Then I realized that the romance itself -- between a trans man and a transfeminine nonbinary person -- was a pretty straightforward storybook contemporary romance. They meet, things are awkward, they try again, they grow closer together, they meet each other's family, they hold each other up in times of difficulty and stress, including a pretty realistic emotional meltdown.
One of the aspects of the book that resonated with me the most was that wonderful sickening feeling of relief when the thing your anxiety was holding over your head doesn't materialize -- for example, Grayson expecting a bad reaction when he comes out to his coworkers. It's not that the things he fears are irrational, but in a book where both of the characters are scared of about ten things each and maybe only one or two of those fears actually manifest, it's easy to see myself. It's a good reminder of how most of the things I'm scared of are not likely to happen all at once.
I liked the editorial/authorial choice to switch Wyatt's pronouns from he to they when Wyatt themselves made the decision to come out. Incidentally, this book struck me as not assuming a cis default reader -- which of course with a trans author is not surprising -- and there is vast quality in allowing marginalized characters to just act out their stories without having to imagine that the person reading about them is meeting someone like them for the first time.
Atmosphere is really important in this book. I really felt the quietness and slight stagnation of this particular small town, or perhaps any small town if you don't get to be around people like you.
Some of the notes I made while reading:
Power in general cut deep swaths through history, marking, scarring, and claiming everything it touched. It disfigured people, turning them into characters who had never really existed at all. It crushed places into dust and built castles of dreams, lies, and fantasies. It warped events until trying to see through the lies was like trying to see using only a broken mirror. And the worst part was, power, in its own ways, always told the truth. The history of power in both its glory and its corruption was an easy kind of history to do.
There is an emetophobia TW on page 236
He hauled out Foucault, Butler, and Chauncey, not sure any of them would help him. Might as well read them over again and find out, though.
My notes: "haha lol what" --in other words, this reminded me of Hermione's "a bit of light reading" with that gigantic old book.
“What gets taught at anything lower than a threehundred- level college course is very political. You were never taught queer history because there are people with a vested interest in your not learning queer history. But the same thing can be said for race history—of all sorts—and most gender history, too, not to mention disability history. We don’t learn it, not because historians don’t study it but because the people who make the decision what goes into history textbooks aren’t fans."
One of my book club buddies who read this with me felt like this was a discussion about the difficulties of researching hidden histories of marginalized people with a story glued on. I don't necessarily agree but there is definitely an essay and a story happening at the same time. I was rooting for the characters, and I wanted to find out what the punchline with the photograph was. I don't feel cheated that there was no punchline (believe me, I was coming up with some good ones in my head!) because two trans people got their messy happy ending -- i.e. a happy ending that's realistically imperfect enough to seem plausible, like real life.
Warning for some shitty, misgendering, invalidating behavior on the part of Grayson's family, off-camera, and accidental misgendering of Grayson at work because he's not out yet.
Then I realized that the romance itself -- between a trans man and a transfeminine nonbinary person -- was a pretty straightforward storybook contemporary romance. They meet, things are awkward, they try again, they grow closer together, they meet each other's family, they hold each other up in times of difficulty and stress, including a pretty realistic emotional meltdown.
One of the aspects of the book that resonated with me the most was that wonderful sickening feeling of relief when the thing your anxiety was holding over your head doesn't materialize -- for example, Grayson expecting a bad reaction when he comes out to his coworkers. It's not that the things he fears are irrational, but in a book where both of the characters are scared of about ten things each and maybe only one or two of those fears actually manifest, it's easy to see myself. It's a good reminder of how most of the things I'm scared of are not likely to happen all at once.
I liked the editorial/authorial choice to switch Wyatt's pronouns from he to they when Wyatt themselves made the decision to come out. Incidentally, this book struck me as not assuming a cis default reader -- which of course with a trans author is not surprising -- and there is vast quality in allowing marginalized characters to just act out their stories without having to imagine that the person reading about them is meeting someone like them for the first time.
Atmosphere is really important in this book. I really felt the quietness and slight stagnation of this particular small town, or perhaps any small town if you don't get to be around people like you.
Some of the notes I made while reading:
Power in general cut deep swaths through history, marking, scarring, and claiming everything it touched. It disfigured people, turning them into characters who had never really existed at all. It crushed places into dust and built castles of dreams, lies, and fantasies. It warped events until trying to see through the lies was like trying to see using only a broken mirror. And the worst part was, power, in its own ways, always told the truth. The history of power in both its glory and its corruption was an easy kind of history to do.
There is an emetophobia TW on page 236
He hauled out Foucault, Butler, and Chauncey, not sure any of them would help him. Might as well read them over again and find out, though.
My notes: "haha lol what" --in other words, this reminded me of Hermione's "a bit of light reading" with that gigantic old book.
“What gets taught at anything lower than a threehundred- level college course is very political. You were never taught queer history because there are people with a vested interest in your not learning queer history. But the same thing can be said for race history—of all sorts—and most gender history, too, not to mention disability history. We don’t learn it, not because historians don’t study it but because the people who make the decision what goes into history textbooks aren’t fans."
One of my book club buddies who read this with me felt like this was a discussion about the difficulties of researching hidden histories of marginalized people with a story glued on. I don't necessarily agree but there is definitely an essay and a story happening at the same time. I was rooting for the characters, and I wanted to find out what the punchline with the photograph was. I don't feel cheated that there was no punchline (believe me, I was coming up with some good ones in my head!) because two trans people got their messy happy ending -- i.e. a happy ending that's realistically imperfect enough to seem plausible, like real life.
Warning for some shitty, misgendering, invalidating behavior on the part of Grayson's family, off-camera, and accidental misgendering of Grayson at work because he's not out yet.
September 6, 2016
One of the best books I have read this year. Such a lovely, beautiful, quiet story. An excellent examination of the past and what it sometimes means for the future and how we shape our lives based on it. I absolutely loved this and all the emotions it made me feel.
February 9, 2017
The loveliness of this book was uplifting for me, after a long summer of stressing about gender issues, myself. Reading about a nonbinary MC, and feeling connected felt...healing, I guess. Both because I haven't dared to think of myself in those terms until recently, and because good books with well-written nonbinary characters are pretty rare gems.
Wyatt knew what it was to live with his cards permanently close to his chest, to always have a part of him unacknowledged and unseen.
Documenting Light feels personal for me, in a way that makes it hard for me to say much more about it. It is well written, well edited and not too angsty - but still doesn't not address real issues (so some trigger warnings are surely needed, but I'm not the best at those - please look up other reviews to make up your mind about this if that's something you need).
Most of all, Documenting Light is a book that made me fell less alone in the world.
Thank you for writing it, EE Ottoman.
Wyatt knew what it was to live with his cards permanently close to his chest, to always have a part of him unacknowledged and unseen.
Documenting Light feels personal for me, in a way that makes it hard for me to say much more about it. It is well written, well edited and not too angsty - but still doesn't not address real issues (so some trigger warnings are surely needed, but I'm not the best at those - please look up other reviews to make up your mind about this if that's something you need).
Most of all, Documenting Light is a book that made me fell less alone in the world.
Thank you for writing it, EE Ottoman.
September 25, 2016
This is a lovely story. I am unsure how to review this story and give it justice, but I think everyone should read it.
Grayson and Wyatt meet over a photo that Wyatt found hidden away. Wyatt is immediately intrigued by the photo and wants to learn more about the two men pictured.
Along with growing as individuals, their relationship deepens as they research this photograph.
They are both complex individuals in their own unique ways. Grayson transitioned a couple of years before and he is still working through the realities of that when he meets Wyatt. Wyatt is dealing with an ill mother and their own feelings that, though they understand on a personal level, has not been able to vocalize to others.
They are beautiful and sweet and real. These two are going through real life situations, handling them in such a realistic way that you forget you are reading a fictional novel. They are fleshed out as individuals and their story is clear and concise. And, when I was done reading this one, I sighed deeply and daydreamed about Wyatt and Grayson's future. So, dear author, should you ever decide to share any more of their story I would be happy to read all about them.
This book makes you think and feel. It makes you think about the history of whole demographics of people whose stories are left untold, buried, lost, forgotten. It makes you mourn for those stories that you will never know. It makes you want to learn more about people today so that their stories will not be forgotten. And it makes you fall in love, not just with a story but with two people who deserve a happy ever after.
Grayson and Wyatt meet over a photo that Wyatt found hidden away. Wyatt is immediately intrigued by the photo and wants to learn more about the two men pictured.
Along with growing as individuals, their relationship deepens as they research this photograph.
They are both complex individuals in their own unique ways. Grayson transitioned a couple of years before and he is still working through the realities of that when he meets Wyatt. Wyatt is dealing with an ill mother and their own feelings that, though they understand on a personal level, has not been able to vocalize to others.
They are beautiful and sweet and real. These two are going through real life situations, handling them in such a realistic way that you forget you are reading a fictional novel. They are fleshed out as individuals and their story is clear and concise. And, when I was done reading this one, I sighed deeply and daydreamed about Wyatt and Grayson's future. So, dear author, should you ever decide to share any more of their story I would be happy to read all about them.
This book makes you think and feel. It makes you think about the history of whole demographics of people whose stories are left untold, buried, lost, forgotten. It makes you mourn for those stories that you will never know. It makes you want to learn more about people today so that their stories will not be forgotten. And it makes you fall in love, not just with a story but with two people who deserve a happy ever after.
September 9, 2016
4.5
I devoured this thing! It arrived with the afternoon post, about 3:30pm and I finished before going to sleep. I hardly set it down long enough to eat dinner and put the kiddos to bed.
Grayson and Wyatt make an incredibly cute, though painfully awkward couple. They and their budding relationship are sweat and slow to boil. There's sex, but it's not the point. These are two people learning to love and accept each-other and themselves.
It's not a flashy plot, but it's darned effective. And some of this is affected by the importance of the mundane. They must make tea, cook dinner and wash dishes a dozen times in the course of the book. And while I felt that repetition, I also recognized that this was two people living life. Meals get made, laundry gets washed, carpets need vacuuming. People fall in love and find new purposes in life. Who needs billionaires bad boys or alien, monkey, space pirates for that?
I did think some of the book's themes were telegraphed a little too aggressively, eclipsing the story in favor of the occasionally didactic message. But more often than not it managed to find the right balance and the writing is just beautiful.
I devoured this thing! It arrived with the afternoon post, about 3:30pm and I finished before going to sleep. I hardly set it down long enough to eat dinner and put the kiddos to bed.
Grayson and Wyatt make an incredibly cute, though painfully awkward couple. They and their budding relationship are sweat and slow to boil. There's sex, but it's not the point. These are two people learning to love and accept each-other and themselves.
It's not a flashy plot, but it's darned effective. And some of this is affected by the importance of the mundane. They must make tea, cook dinner and wash dishes a dozen times in the course of the book. And while I felt that repetition, I also recognized that this was two people living life. Meals get made, laundry gets washed, carpets need vacuuming. People fall in love and find new purposes in life. Who needs billionaires bad boys or alien, monkey, space pirates for that?
I did think some of the book's themes were telegraphed a little too aggressively, eclipsing the story in favor of the occasionally didactic message. But more often than not it managed to find the right balance and the writing is just beautiful.
dnf
July 2, 2017Interesting premise (well researched too), amateurish writing.
November 26, 2020
This was a sweet love story about two people who completely accept one another. I thought it spoke about super important topics like sexuality, identity, acceptance, and the history of everyone, including people of color and queer people. A super important read!
September 15, 2016
Full reviewage on Prism Book Alliance®
Everyone should be reading this book. Right now. Skip this effing review because you should be reading and experiencing and forever carrying this book with you. Yep, everyone.
Now, if you insist on reading this review, I thank you, but in return I insist you read this story.
Wyatt is kind, caring, and in tune with their siblings and their mom. They work downtown for a judge on sensitive cases. The family has had struggles, including right now with their mother living with the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. Wyatt is hard on themselves, overly so sometimes, though I understand where it comes from. The pain runs deep, yet hope for the future and its possibilities are irrepressibly bright.
Grayson is quiet but deliberate, and he’s confident in his work as a curator at the local historical society in Binghamton. He’s a researcher through and through, the love of it coursing through his soul. His family situation is much different than Wyatt’s. The pain of past experiences, the anguish, doubt, and the hope are the same. Will they be able to force off the masks they each wear and realize this, take refuge in it, celebrate and live it? That’s the story we have here.
Sometimes when you did historical research, you hit a dead end and that was that – nothing more to find. Still, it was going to hurt to tell Wyatt. He’d been so excited to identify the people in this photograph.
This is the spark that leads to the meeting of our two main characters, wanting to discover who are the two men in a nearly century old picture, what was their story. The above passage reflects two things: Ottoman is deep inside the heads of both Grayson and Wyatt, giving us crystal clear insight to their feelings and how they see themselves fitting, or not, into this world; but on the flip side, we’re told more than we’re shown about the connection that begins to build between them throughout this story. I sometimes felt more of a connection to the story itself than either of Grayson or Wyatt. However, Ottoman brings their emotions to the surface at full speed, even in the quiet moments, and they run the gamut. Yup, we have complex human people here. I feel the sadness, disappointment, self-criticism, and the hope, desire, and drive to demand of life what each of them wants.
I think some of this disconnect comes by way of too-simple sentence structure. It doesn’t happen often but, when it does, it works to cut down the all too real emotional build taking place between Wyatt and Grayson, and between Wyatt and their family to a lesser but just as important extent. However, through most of this story, I’m right there with them, feeling, understanding, pulling for them, fighting the anger and isolation, and wanting a world where their masks are unnecessary. This is a personal story.
Throughout most of this, Ottoman’s prose is beautiful, spot on, and works in harmony with the story. Imagery is important in conveying, not just physical place and how the characters fit inside it but, the emotional state of mind of a character. It’s valuable, and I can never get enough:
Hands shoved in his pockets, he looked over the river.It was high now, fat with the melted snow, although not as high as it would be in spring.
(I do not miss upstate NY wintertime. :) )
I love Ottoman’s use and examination of history and how it’s subjective, not objective as it’s often approached and presented, and can’t help but be recorded and studied through the personal prism of each of us. The deep need for connection to both the present and that past that many of us feel is made relatable and important, poignant and revealing through that single photograph, to begin, and more as Wyatt and Grayson deal with their own. The connection between Grayson and Wyatt wavered here and there for me, but the connection I felt with each of them is a forever thing for me.
”All I want…” Their voice was soft. “… is the possibility that there is a space for people like me to exist in history too. To have a past. To look back with pride and say people like me lived and loved and endured. That’s all I want.”
If, as a society, we didn’t impose a system of such binary-centric gender identity and strictly defined sexuality, if we chucked all that out the window, the pressure felt by many (most of us?) to fit in, hide, ignore, live in fear, would disappear. This would be good for everyone. We’re all worthy. Until that happens, the struggle continues and we have to keep working towards inclusion and making it real in everyday life.
I recommend this book to everyone: this is the kind of fiction everyone can read, wade through the emotions, and gain a better understanding of ourselves and our fellow human beings, one of the reasons we’re all here.
To witness something was to give it a life of its own outside of yourself. Wyatt felt that was the most fitting for speaking of the past.
And a damn good way to improve the present and promise the future.
Everyone should be reading this book. Right now. Skip this effing review because you should be reading and experiencing and forever carrying this book with you. Yep, everyone.
Now, if you insist on reading this review, I thank you, but in return I insist you read this story.
Wyatt is kind, caring, and in tune with their siblings and their mom. They work downtown for a judge on sensitive cases. The family has had struggles, including right now with their mother living with the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. Wyatt is hard on themselves, overly so sometimes, though I understand where it comes from. The pain runs deep, yet hope for the future and its possibilities are irrepressibly bright.
Grayson is quiet but deliberate, and he’s confident in his work as a curator at the local historical society in Binghamton. He’s a researcher through and through, the love of it coursing through his soul. His family situation is much different than Wyatt’s. The pain of past experiences, the anguish, doubt, and the hope are the same. Will they be able to force off the masks they each wear and realize this, take refuge in it, celebrate and live it? That’s the story we have here.
Sometimes when you did historical research, you hit a dead end and that was that – nothing more to find. Still, it was going to hurt to tell Wyatt. He’d been so excited to identify the people in this photograph.
This is the spark that leads to the meeting of our two main characters, wanting to discover who are the two men in a nearly century old picture, what was their story. The above passage reflects two things: Ottoman is deep inside the heads of both Grayson and Wyatt, giving us crystal clear insight to their feelings and how they see themselves fitting, or not, into this world; but on the flip side, we’re told more than we’re shown about the connection that begins to build between them throughout this story. I sometimes felt more of a connection to the story itself than either of Grayson or Wyatt. However, Ottoman brings their emotions to the surface at full speed, even in the quiet moments, and they run the gamut. Yup, we have complex human people here. I feel the sadness, disappointment, self-criticism, and the hope, desire, and drive to demand of life what each of them wants.
I think some of this disconnect comes by way of too-simple sentence structure. It doesn’t happen often but, when it does, it works to cut down the all too real emotional build taking place between Wyatt and Grayson, and between Wyatt and their family to a lesser but just as important extent. However, through most of this story, I’m right there with them, feeling, understanding, pulling for them, fighting the anger and isolation, and wanting a world where their masks are unnecessary. This is a personal story.
Throughout most of this, Ottoman’s prose is beautiful, spot on, and works in harmony with the story. Imagery is important in conveying, not just physical place and how the characters fit inside it but, the emotional state of mind of a character. It’s valuable, and I can never get enough:
Hands shoved in his pockets, he looked over the river.It was high now, fat with the melted snow, although not as high as it would be in spring.
(I do not miss upstate NY wintertime. :) )
I love Ottoman’s use and examination of history and how it’s subjective, not objective as it’s often approached and presented, and can’t help but be recorded and studied through the personal prism of each of us. The deep need for connection to both the present and that past that many of us feel is made relatable and important, poignant and revealing through that single photograph, to begin, and more as Wyatt and Grayson deal with their own. The connection between Grayson and Wyatt wavered here and there for me, but the connection I felt with each of them is a forever thing for me.
”All I want…” Their voice was soft. “… is the possibility that there is a space for people like me to exist in history too. To have a past. To look back with pride and say people like me lived and loved and endured. That’s all I want.”
If, as a society, we didn’t impose a system of such binary-centric gender identity and strictly defined sexuality, if we chucked all that out the window, the pressure felt by many (most of us?) to fit in, hide, ignore, live in fear, would disappear. This would be good for everyone. We’re all worthy. Until that happens, the struggle continues and we have to keep working towards inclusion and making it real in everyday life.
I recommend this book to everyone: this is the kind of fiction everyone can read, wade through the emotions, and gain a better understanding of ourselves and our fellow human beings, one of the reasons we’re all here.
To witness something was to give it a life of its own outside of yourself. Wyatt felt that was the most fitting for speaking of the past.
And a damn good way to improve the present and promise the future.
December 9, 2020
4.5 stars. This is a quiet, intimate book and it's fascinating and smart and so very human. It's intelligent and real and just "everyday life" in way that's not overly common in romance. This is a story about two people who are struggling with lots of things in their lives and sometimes it's really grim and raw and affecting, but, at the same time, it's also very hopeful and delicate and quietly joyful. This is also a book about history and how subjective it is and how so many voices are left out of the historical record. I found the discussions examining how history is written and researched and the difficulties inherent in studying queer history really fascinating. The author is a real-life historian and it really shows in his intelligent, thoughtful writing on historical matters and historiography. I've really enjoyed Ottoman's work over the years and he's gone in somewhat a different direction with this book and it's lovely. I loved how the winter is almost a secondary character here and the cold and the grey and the snow infuse the story thoroughly. My only niggle is entirely a personal one--I didn't really connect strongly with the main characters, and while they are likeable and sympathetic and realistic, I felt a little distanced from them for some reason. Nonetheless, this is an excellent book. I loved reading this. It feels very personal and it's insightful and human and thought-provoking.
February 27, 2017
This is rich romance filled with nerdy historical details of Upstate New York, queer history, and reading the text of photographs.
It is moving looking at falling in love between two working class people--one a trans man and one gender queered person not yet out.
There is angst and the ties of family and work in the middle of this winter. The writing is lyrical and academic and tender.
The love story hopeful but realistic. Very good
4.5!
I am always wanting an epilogue!
It is moving looking at falling in love between two working class people--one a trans man and one gender queered person not yet out.
There is angst and the ties of family and work in the middle of this winter. The writing is lyrical and academic and tender.
The love story hopeful but realistic. Very good
4.5!
I am always wanting an epilogue!
March 3, 2024
It's not often that a book grabs ahold of me and drags me so tightly into its story that I go from page 2 to the end (276) in a single day.
There's so much I related to in this book: questioning and feeling the need to prove your queer identity, queer erasure in the historical record, longing for community (with the past and the present), and so much more 🥰
There's so much I related to in this book: questioning and feeling the need to prove your queer identity, queer erasure in the historical record, longing for community (with the past and the present), and so much more 🥰
July 7, 2019
I liked a lot about this book. The relationship at the heart of the story is quiet and sweet, and it was wonderful to watch it grow. Both of the main characters are lovely -- flawed and believable while still being totally sympathetic. You're definitely rooting for them both from the get-go. And I liked the historical mystery angle, and the details about Grayson's job and some of the research we see them doing.
That said, the major flaw here was that there simply wasn't enough of almost anything. The photograph mystery, Grayson's family issues, the situation with Wyatt's mother, the question of Grayson's job and/or continuing his education -- literally no major plot points get any kind of solid resolution. Some outcomes are hinted at, and I could understand a question or two being left ambiguous, particularly in a slice-of-life kind of story like this, but not every single conflict raised. Fiction needs story arcs, and that requires at the very least growth, if not a complete resolution, and no one conflict point really gets enough attention here for a satisfying arc. The story just...stops. Also, on a more technical level, the writing, particularly in the first third or so, felt very awkward and at times amateurish; the dialogue especially felt stilted and unnatural -- not in a these-characters-are-nervous-and-awkward way, but in a humans-don't-talk-like-this way. It got much better in the latter half of the book, but it was a noticeably rough start.
Overall, I am very glad this book exists, and I certainly want to see more trans and non-binary representation. However, while I liked a lot of the parts here, this felt like a fairly long novel's worth of plot clumsily trimmed down and smooshed into a novella-length final product; add in the mechanical issues mentioned above, and for me, it was a decent read, but not the amazing one I think it could have been.
That said, the major flaw here was that there simply wasn't enough of almost anything. The photograph mystery, Grayson's family issues, the situation with Wyatt's mother, the question of Grayson's job and/or continuing his education -- literally no major plot points get any kind of solid resolution. Some outcomes are hinted at, and I could understand a question or two being left ambiguous, particularly in a slice-of-life kind of story like this, but not every single conflict raised. Fiction needs story arcs, and that requires at the very least growth, if not a complete resolution, and no one conflict point really gets enough attention here for a satisfying arc. The story just...stops. Also, on a more technical level, the writing, particularly in the first third or so, felt very awkward and at times amateurish; the dialogue especially felt stilted and unnatural -- not in a these-characters-are-nervous-and-awkward way, but in a humans-don't-talk-like-this way. It got much better in the latter half of the book, but it was a noticeably rough start.
Overall, I am very glad this book exists, and I certainly want to see more trans and non-binary representation. However, while I liked a lot of the parts here, this felt like a fairly long novel's worth of plot clumsily trimmed down and smooshed into a novella-length final product; add in the mechanical issues mentioned above, and for me, it was a decent read, but not the amazing one I think it could have been.
November 6, 2016
This was such, such a good book.
The writing was a bit like an impressionist painting : small and clever touches everywhere, giving the whole an atmospheric feeling.
I liked how the characters were relating to the past and their reflections on History. (Having a degree in History, it was such a treat Not To Feel Alone -as I usually do- for having a lot thoughts about the past and how I relate to it, for once). I could relate so much with Grayson.
I loved Grayson & Wyatt with fierce love, I loved how their lives felt real, I loved how their relationship evolved, and I loved the Upstate New-York setting, because it's a place I don't know and I seldom read about.
I highly, highly recommend this book for absolutely everyone.
The writing was a bit like an impressionist painting : small and clever touches everywhere, giving the whole an atmospheric feeling.
I liked how the characters were relating to the past and their reflections on History. (Having a degree in History, it was such a treat Not To Feel Alone -as I usually do- for having a lot thoughts about the past and how I relate to it, for once). I could relate so much with Grayson.
I loved Grayson & Wyatt with fierce love, I loved how their lives felt real, I loved how their relationship evolved, and I loved the Upstate New-York setting, because it's a place I don't know and I seldom read about.
I highly, highly recommend this book for absolutely everyone.
May 15, 2017
We thought this one was *gorgeous* and we're rapidly becoming huge EE Ottoman fans!
"In sum, I really enjoyed this book. It wasn’t perfect, it was definitely stronger in the beginning than the end, but by God, it was such an enjoyable read that I stand firmly by my rating anyway. - Matt
"I enjoyed this a lot, but in a very quiet and… surprising way. Definitely recommended for everyone, but especially historians." - Maria
Find both full reviews on our blog heret.
"In sum, I really enjoyed this book. It wasn’t perfect, it was definitely stronger in the beginning than the end, but by God, it was such an enjoyable read that I stand firmly by my rating anyway. - Matt
"I enjoyed this a lot, but in a very quiet and… surprising way. Definitely recommended for everyone, but especially historians." - Maria
Find both full reviews on our blog heret.
March 6, 2023
I honestly couldn't think of a reason to not give this 5 stars. I was emotionally invested in the characters very quickly, I loved the themes of history, representation, and the often unseen realities of daily life for queer people. It's so important to not only acknowledge hardship but to show queer people just being people, going for walks and playing board games and making up recipes when there isn't much in the fridge. The only other book I've read by Ottoman is The Companion, but I love their attention to the deep comfort of homemaking/homecoming, not just in the physical sense of cooking food and hanging up pictures, but emotionally, finding safety, finding your people. It's profoundly moving, and Wyatt and Grayson deserve the world. If anything, I'm aching a little for it to be longer, or for a sequel, just to know that they're doing ok 💝
May 22, 2018
Scrolling through reviews I see most of them include the word "lovely" in the first sentence, it's certainly fitting. The story is quiet and down to earth, without the fantasy element of a lot of romance novels - these two characters overcome some obstacles and confront new ones, but you don't see every loose end tied up like you often do at the end of a love story. It's more a story about them finding each other than a full arc of ending up together, and it's really sweet and thoughtful.
I particularly liked all the scenes of them making food together, which were super romantic even with all the characters' time and money constraints out there and visible. It fits with the theme of "romance is for people like us, too" without being over the top obvious.
I particularly liked all the scenes of them making food together, which were super romantic even with all the characters' time and money constraints out there and visible. It fits with the theme of "romance is for people like us, too" without being over the top obvious.
October 21, 2017
This was a very different book than I usually read, but it was well done and thought provoking.
March 13, 2017
This is a lovely, quiet, trans romance. I found it adorable. I would read more about these people.
It discusses itself quite explicitly - the two main characters are both embarking on their own journeys of trans history, of finding the queerness in the historical narrative, as well as having their own personal journeys. I'd personally have preferred more on their personal individual journeys of identity, because I felt like there was more there to say, and their personal backgrounds were absolutely compelling and real. To be fair, though, the history side of things was absolutely integral to the book, and it's not the book's fault my own preference fell slightly elsewhere on the grand scale.
It discusses itself quite explicitly - the two main characters are both embarking on their own journeys of trans history, of finding the queerness in the historical narrative, as well as having their own personal journeys. I'd personally have preferred more on their personal individual journeys of identity, because I felt like there was more there to say, and their personal backgrounds were absolutely compelling and real. To be fair, though, the history side of things was absolutely integral to the book, and it's not the book's fault my own preference fell slightly elsewhere on the grand scale.
September 20, 2016
4.5 stars rounded up.
Such a lovely book, very quiet, but so much happens. In fact there was so much that we could have gotten more detail on that I'm hoping for more from Grayson and Wyatt. I think this would make an amazing series as they continue to explore other queer pictures from the past.
I appreciated so much about this book. The way the characters are presented is perfect, so often books that are about important subjects make characters cut and dried, one thing and one thing only, but I think ee ottoman does a wonderful job of presenting all their facets and showing how none of us are only one thing, but a mixture of many things. I liked that they both had their own journey through the book and that they were there to support each other with their problems. Isn't that what love is really about?
There are many story lines here, so much going on, but it all flows well together. I do wish there had been more resolution to some of the story lines, but as I said, my hope is that we will see more of Wyatt and Grayson because I do feel they have more to say.
An important book that does a fantastic job of presenting the issues that trans people face on a daily basis without ever hitting the reader over the head with it. A very sweet, loving romance that is strongly based in real life situations that many people have to deal with. Everyone should read this.
#diverseromancebingo #ownvoices
Such a lovely book, very quiet, but so much happens. In fact there was so much that we could have gotten more detail on that I'm hoping for more from Grayson and Wyatt. I think this would make an amazing series as they continue to explore other queer pictures from the past.
I appreciated so much about this book. The way the characters are presented is perfect, so often books that are about important subjects make characters cut and dried, one thing and one thing only, but I think ee ottoman does a wonderful job of presenting all their facets and showing how none of us are only one thing, but a mixture of many things. I liked that they both had their own journey through the book and that they were there to support each other with their problems. Isn't that what love is really about?
There are many story lines here, so much going on, but it all flows well together. I do wish there had been more resolution to some of the story lines, but as I said, my hope is that we will see more of Wyatt and Grayson because I do feel they have more to say.
An important book that does a fantastic job of presenting the issues that trans people face on a daily basis without ever hitting the reader over the head with it. A very sweet, loving romance that is strongly based in real life situations that many people have to deal with. Everyone should read this.
#diverseromancebingo #ownvoices
August 1, 2021
I don't read a ton of romance, so I'm not sure I'm the best audience here. There were things I really loved about the book - in particular, the fact that the characters dealt with real socioeconomic issues as well as issues of sexuality and gender identity. It's a love story between two people who are not economically privileged and all of the realities and challenges that come with that. One character was also dealing with caring for an aging parent. They had to figure out romance in the context of complicated modern life, which was a key strength of the book.
At the same time, I felt that some of the threads in the story weren't concluded well. We don't get much follow-up on the photo that kicks off our plot, which was a letdown. I understand that real history can't always be wrapped up in a bow, but it honestly felt a bit forgotten. Also, while we did see some ups and downs in their relationship, I felt that the author jumped quickly from the meet to the "we're into each other" stage. It wasn't immediately obvious why they were into each other than the fact that they felt isolated/misunderstood.
At the same time, I felt that some of the threads in the story weren't concluded well. We don't get much follow-up on the photo that kicks off our plot, which was a letdown. I understand that real history can't always be wrapped up in a bow, but it honestly felt a bit forgotten. Also, while we did see some ups and downs in their relationship, I felt that the author jumped quickly from the meet to the "we're into each other" stage. It wasn't immediately obvious why they were into each other than the fact that they felt isolated/misunderstood.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 13, 2018
A slow-moving, sweet, thoughtful read.
Documenting light is a perfect name for this book. Light and open is exactly how my heart feels after reading this. It's a subtle story about every day lives. Big things don't happen, except when they do. It's about romance, and curiosity, family relationships, and aging parents. .. . see? Just the stuff of every day life. It's also a boat gender, and sexuality, and what it's like to hide Who you really are, and how having people who except and see you for who you are is life giving. So, also every day life. It's also, a little bit, about the nature of reality. I think I'll be contemplating this one for a long time. A gorgeous, and tender read that drops images, ideas, and scenarios gently down, asking for contemplation rather than walloping us in the face.
Documenting light is a perfect name for this book. Light and open is exactly how my heart feels after reading this. It's a subtle story about every day lives. Big things don't happen, except when they do. It's about romance, and curiosity, family relationships, and aging parents. .. . see? Just the stuff of every day life. It's also a boat gender, and sexuality, and what it's like to hide Who you really are, and how having people who except and see you for who you are is life giving. So, also every day life. It's also, a little bit, about the nature of reality. I think I'll be contemplating this one for a long time. A gorgeous, and tender read that drops images, ideas, and scenarios gently down, asking for contemplation rather than walloping us in the face.
September 12, 2016
A sweet and lovely story, but also an interesting look into how queer history disappears or is explained away as straight, and what historians can do about it.
June 21, 2022
Fabulous! I could have read a 1000 page book on this story and its examination of history, memory, and community.
The characters felt like people I could know- like they lived in the next town over living in situations that I've seen or experienced. And seeing elements of my life reflected in this romance felt special and important!
This book is about a lot of things, but I think my favorite part was what it had to say about paradox and how it plays a part in interpreting what it means to be queer.
Existing without recognition is to be erased from history but not from reality. There is more unwritten history than recorded history. But even if history is not remembered, it still was just as real as the present. There is so much queer (& race & disability) history left unsaid, lost, fractured, and sabotaged. Yet the weight of those real experinces persists despite being unknowable. A paradox that excites me and hurts me. And it made me realize, there is so much about a single life that is unknowable and left unsaid. Ho much do I really know about my family? My culture? Far from 100%. But is 100% needed?
Greyson and Wyatt decide to research a photograph that no other historian would "waste time" on. They abandon traditional research methodology in favor of a new, unrecognized, and risky exploration of queer history through some photography of two men holding hands. And they abandon the ways they previously understood life to rewrite their places within the world on their own terms. And even after their hard work and their conviction in their findings, its possible that no one worth a hoot in the world of history would even care.
For me, this struggle mirrors Wyatt and Greysons journeys as queer people. It's harder than just 'coming out' to be queer. It takes more than just seeing two men embraced to define queerness (reject heterosexual interpretation) of a photograph. Queer people have to struggle (and struggle and struggle continuously) through assumed heteronormativity to even be simply recognized, let alone live a fulfilling life -- just like the photographs of the men have been and will be considered heteronormative by the historians who handled them before Greyson and Wyatt.
Having to forge your own path through life from scratch is difficult (read: expensive and emotionally taxing!) But living is not a narrative, not a perfectly crafted novel or a meticulously defended thesis. It's real, and that's enough for it to be worthwhile.
Yes I cried a lot okay, okay. If you never hear from me again ill be busy reading everything EE Ottoman writes 👨🏫
The characters felt like people I could know- like they lived in the next town over living in situations that I've seen or experienced. And seeing elements of my life reflected in this romance felt special and important!
This book is about a lot of things, but I think my favorite part was what it had to say about paradox and how it plays a part in interpreting what it means to be queer.
Existing without recognition is to be erased from history but not from reality. There is more unwritten history than recorded history. But even if history is not remembered, it still was just as real as the present. There is so much queer (& race & disability) history left unsaid, lost, fractured, and sabotaged. Yet the weight of those real experinces persists despite being unknowable. A paradox that excites me and hurts me. And it made me realize, there is so much about a single life that is unknowable and left unsaid. Ho much do I really know about my family? My culture? Far from 100%. But is 100% needed?
Greyson and Wyatt decide to research a photograph that no other historian would "waste time" on. They abandon traditional research methodology in favor of a new, unrecognized, and risky exploration of queer history through some photography of two men holding hands. And they abandon the ways they previously understood life to rewrite their places within the world on their own terms. And even after their hard work and their conviction in their findings, its possible that no one worth a hoot in the world of history would even care.
For me, this struggle mirrors Wyatt and Greysons journeys as queer people. It's harder than just 'coming out' to be queer. It takes more than just seeing two men embraced to define queerness (reject heterosexual interpretation) of a photograph. Queer people have to struggle (and struggle and struggle continuously) through assumed heteronormativity to even be simply recognized, let alone live a fulfilling life -- just like the photographs of the men have been and will be considered heteronormative by the historians who handled them before Greyson and Wyatt.
Having to forge your own path through life from scratch is difficult (read: expensive and emotionally taxing!) But living is not a narrative, not a perfectly crafted novel or a meticulously defended thesis. It's real, and that's enough for it to be worthwhile.
Yes I cried a lot okay, okay. If you never hear from me again ill be busy reading everything EE Ottoman writes 👨🏫
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 29, 2023
God, I’ve never related to characters more than to both Grayson and Wyatt. It was so lovely to read moments of my own trans experience on the written page — made me feel a little less alone and perhaps a little less crazy for feeling the way I do.
The timing of reading this book was super crucial to me as well. Being in the process of turning away from my PhD, 3 years in and only quals/dissertation left, made me feel a lot of resentment about being trans because that’s such a big part of my having left my previous institution. In that way, Grayson and Wyatt both articulated things I needed to hear vicariously through them.
I don’t know that I’d recommend this book to everyone though. It’s a bit slow in parts and I had a really hard time reading it, because I was processing how it effected my life but also because there’s a valley of entertainment value for a large portion of the novel. It will forever be one I remember and hold dear to me though.
If you’re interested in reading a novel with stellar trans and non-binary representation and/or understanding trans thoughts on some common trans issues, they’re wrapped up in a fairly common, yet beautiful love story of two people who really need each other to find happiness and be themselves publicly (at least where Grayson is concerned; would have liked a “director’s cut” of the convo with Wyatt’s mother, but unfortunately I’m not sure that convo would have ever happened anyway) then this is the no el for you. Do I believe we need others to make us whole? Absolutely not. But having a support system is crucial in this life, especially for marginalized folks, and that’s clearly what Grayson and Wyatt are for each other.
The timing of reading this book was super crucial to me as well. Being in the process of turning away from my PhD, 3 years in and only quals/dissertation left, made me feel a lot of resentment about being trans because that’s such a big part of my having left my previous institution. In that way, Grayson and Wyatt both articulated things I needed to hear vicariously through them.
I don’t know that I’d recommend this book to everyone though. It’s a bit slow in parts and I had a really hard time reading it, because I was processing how it effected my life but also because there’s a valley of entertainment value for a large portion of the novel. It will forever be one I remember and hold dear to me though.
If you’re interested in reading a novel with stellar trans and non-binary representation and/or understanding trans thoughts on some common trans issues, they’re wrapped up in a fairly common, yet beautiful love story of two people who really need each other to find happiness and be themselves publicly (at least where Grayson is concerned; would have liked a “director’s cut” of the convo with Wyatt’s mother, but unfortunately I’m not sure that convo would have ever happened anyway) then this is the no el for you. Do I believe we need others to make us whole? Absolutely not. But having a support system is crucial in this life, especially for marginalized folks, and that’s clearly what Grayson and Wyatt are for each other.
November 17, 2022
A snippet in time, like the photo they'd found. This book documents the romance of two trans people with a quiet sense of reality. It feels like a film without a soundtrack (if only I could instantly pull the name of a director to mind) - the fluffy snow, the crunch of leaves. The awkward embraces and welcome company. I found it a very affirming read.
I do wonder though, about the author's choice in switching pronouns for Wyatt in the middle of the book, and this made me also think about intentional narrative choices and the relationship between an author and the characters they craft. It seems as though Wyatt has a clear grasp of who they are from the start, so why does the author use masculine pronouns for them? I can guess they wanted to emphasize the significance of Wyatt coming out to Grayson, but still...
Grayson's side of the narrative remains stable and present throughout the book, but after coming out as genderqueer Wyatt actually fades into the background. What happened to the conflicted emotions they had about coming out to their mother? What happened to their side of the story?
All in all, I really enjoyed this book. It might be a little difficult to read for folks starting on their transition journey because of some of the difficulties described.
I do wonder though, about the author's choice in switching pronouns for Wyatt in the middle of the book, and this made me also think about intentional narrative choices and the relationship between an author and the characters they craft. It seems as though Wyatt has a clear grasp of who they are from the start, so why does the author use masculine pronouns for them? I can guess they wanted to emphasize the significance of Wyatt coming out to Grayson, but still...
Grayson's side of the narrative remains stable and present throughout the book, but after coming out as genderqueer Wyatt actually fades into the background. What happened to the conflicted emotions they had about coming out to their mother? What happened to their side of the story?
All in all, I really enjoyed this book. It might be a little difficult to read for folks starting on their transition journey because of some of the difficulties described.
November 11, 2021
2.5 Stars although I try to avoid using .5 ratings.
All of the stars for the trans rep which was amazing and much needed… I liked that. And also the intimacy shown to the reader on page. It felt very cozy.
Other than that… I really don’t know what to say? A few aspects of the history was cool or more like the lack of queer history. But even that didn’t feel real? I often felt like the characters read from a script, without emotion. And only afterwards I realize the characters aren’t bored, when it’s described that thy smile or laugh. I also feel like I don’t know anything about Wyatt… and Grayson‘s Backstory was down to tragic moments in the past, which also felt like a weird timeline? I’m so sad that I didn’t enjoy this. But then again I’m not really into history and I could have gotten into the story concept of the photograph… but I think the balance of relationship and story about the photograph were off… anyways I also see many great reviews. And also see why people like it. But just felt very bored reading this :/
All of the stars for the trans rep which was amazing and much needed… I liked that. And also the intimacy shown to the reader on page. It felt very cozy.
Other than that… I really don’t know what to say? A few aspects of the history was cool or more like the lack of queer history. But even that didn’t feel real? I often felt like the characters read from a script, without emotion. And only afterwards I realize the characters aren’t bored, when it’s described that thy smile or laugh. I also feel like I don’t know anything about Wyatt… and Grayson‘s Backstory was down to tragic moments in the past, which also felt like a weird timeline? I’m so sad that I didn’t enjoy this. But then again I’m not really into history and I could have gotten into the story concept of the photograph… but I think the balance of relationship and story about the photograph were off… anyways I also see many great reviews. And also see why people like it. But just felt very bored reading this :/
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