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GUMBO
“You’d do best to hide behind a skip, or arm yourself with a dog poo on the end of a stick. It’s a rudimental weapon, I’ll admit, but it proves very effective at keeping charity muggers at bay, and for fighting your way to the front of the queue at the Post Office.”
Welcome to GUMBO - a delicious stew of words, pictures and kung-fu from CatchphraseDan, author of Monkfish Maggie and the Bungalow Stairs.
Stuffed to the socks with over 60 of CatchphraseDan’s soupiest illustrations and stacked high with 6 pieces of writing, GUMBO is a collection of comedy that will wet your jeans with laughter and make you sit in your PE kit for the rest of the day.
Chapter One
If you have ever wondered why flamingos are pink, or who invented ping-pong, then this chapter is for you - Knobby Norris Know-it-all’s Guide to Stuff answers all the questions you haven’t asked yet.
“Hair sometimes grows out of your face holes too, and can make you look like a salty old sea captain. If you want to look daring and dangerous, then grow your beard long and tie it above your head like a pair of glorious rabbit ears. This can be done with your chest hair too, but you need to grow it really long or else it probably won’t reach.”
Chapter Two
CatchphraseDan recounts the sad story of how a gang of T.V network executives stopped him creating ‘Nun Negotiable’ - the Nun themed action show that was set to take over the world in 1996. It had grappling hooks, canyons and enough keytar solos to rock a man’s socks off and then rock him softly to sleep.
“I wrote a screenplay once, when I was just a wee boy. I moved to Los Angeles and spent four glorious months writing a pilot for a super exciting action show that was going to take the world by storm and fill the cabinet in my dining room up with academy awards and fan letters written in Steven Seagal’s dainty handwriting.”
Chapter Three
CSI. Oceans. Adam Crabriguez. Sting Ratio Caine. Scarecrows.
“Adam Rodriguez was also in the show, and he was my second favourite character. He used to get really angry at stuff, but I can’t remember why. Maybe it’s because he didn’t know what CSI stood for. Crisps, Sandwiches and Irene. That’s what it should have stood for. Maybe there weren’t any sandwiches left over for him. That would make me fairly angry, so that’s probably what happened.”
Chapter Four
Enter the cafeteria of Lunchlady Doris and find out what the heck a Spicy Falafelitazoneroni is and how to get your grubby hands on one. She’s escaped from a Bosnian prison and she doesn’t fancy going back any time soon, so choose what you want to eat and get out of her back hair. Scram!
“I’m Lunchlady Doris - you might have heard of my sister, Postlady Doris. Well, she’s a liar and a communist so forget anything she may have told you about me, or I’ll have to give you a paddlin’. Forgotten everything? Good, now let’s get food shovelled into your hungry mouths so you can leave me alone and get up out of my back hair.”
Chapter Five
A sad poem from the disgraced world famous poet Juan Carlo. Bring tissues to mop your eyes, and a mop to mop the tissues.
“I’m going back to my narrowboat.”
Plus More!
Learn about Lady Crayfish, hear how snail ale is made and run free in the sun while you discover the hot tuna-chino, which is widely considered the worst way to consume fish.
There are enough servings of GUMBO here for everybody, so ladle some into your soup flask and enjoy it on the bus tomorrow. Be sure to make loud retching noises as you chug it down - that way everyone will know how much you are enjoying it.
Half comedy sketchbook, half comedy sketch show, GUMBO will brighten up your day and give you something to laugh about.
Welcome to GUMBO - a delicious stew of words, pictures and kung-fu from CatchphraseDan, author of Monkfish Maggie and the Bungalow Stairs.
Stuffed to the socks with over 60 of CatchphraseDan’s soupiest illustrations and stacked high with 6 pieces of writing, GUMBO is a collection of comedy that will wet your jeans with laughter and make you sit in your PE kit for the rest of the day.
Chapter One
If you have ever wondered why flamingos are pink, or who invented ping-pong, then this chapter is for you - Knobby Norris Know-it-all’s Guide to Stuff answers all the questions you haven’t asked yet.
“Hair sometimes grows out of your face holes too, and can make you look like a salty old sea captain. If you want to look daring and dangerous, then grow your beard long and tie it above your head like a pair of glorious rabbit ears. This can be done with your chest hair too, but you need to grow it really long or else it probably won’t reach.”
Chapter Two
CatchphraseDan recounts the sad story of how a gang of T.V network executives stopped him creating ‘Nun Negotiable’ - the Nun themed action show that was set to take over the world in 1996. It had grappling hooks, canyons and enough keytar solos to rock a man’s socks off and then rock him softly to sleep.
“I wrote a screenplay once, when I was just a wee boy. I moved to Los Angeles and spent four glorious months writing a pilot for a super exciting action show that was going to take the world by storm and fill the cabinet in my dining room up with academy awards and fan letters written in Steven Seagal’s dainty handwriting.”
Chapter Three
CSI. Oceans. Adam Crabriguez. Sting Ratio Caine. Scarecrows.
“Adam Rodriguez was also in the show, and he was my second favourite character. He used to get really angry at stuff, but I can’t remember why. Maybe it’s because he didn’t know what CSI stood for. Crisps, Sandwiches and Irene. That’s what it should have stood for. Maybe there weren’t any sandwiches left over for him. That would make me fairly angry, so that’s probably what happened.”
Chapter Four
Enter the cafeteria of Lunchlady Doris and find out what the heck a Spicy Falafelitazoneroni is and how to get your grubby hands on one. She’s escaped from a Bosnian prison and she doesn’t fancy going back any time soon, so choose what you want to eat and get out of her back hair. Scram!
“I’m Lunchlady Doris - you might have heard of my sister, Postlady Doris. Well, she’s a liar and a communist so forget anything she may have told you about me, or I’ll have to give you a paddlin’. Forgotten everything? Good, now let’s get food shovelled into your hungry mouths so you can leave me alone and get up out of my back hair.”
Chapter Five
A sad poem from the disgraced world famous poet Juan Carlo. Bring tissues to mop your eyes, and a mop to mop the tissues.
“I’m going back to my narrowboat.”
Plus More!
Learn about Lady Crayfish, hear how snail ale is made and run free in the sun while you discover the hot tuna-chino, which is widely considered the worst way to consume fish.
There are enough servings of GUMBO here for everybody, so ladle some into your soup flask and enjoy it on the bus tomorrow. Be sure to make loud retching noises as you chug it down - that way everyone will know how much you are enjoying it.
Half comedy sketchbook, half comedy sketch show, GUMBO will brighten up your day and give you something to laugh about.
101 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 17, 2016
2 people are currently reading
4 people want to read
About the author
CatchphraseDan
3 books5 followersCatchphraseDan landed naked on earth in 1991 pretty much like Terminator, if you've seen it. He went into a bar full of bikers, took some clothes and a motorcycle, forgot completely about his mission of killing Sarah Conner, and has been residing in the West Midlands ever since.
books@catchphrasedan.com
books@catchphrasedan.com
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
August 24, 2016
The Goodreads author provided a copy of the ePub in exchange for an honest review.
The author’s brilliant sense of humor immediately draws the reader into his hilarious world. Gumbo is delicious, spicy and fun. The reader will want to share this laugh out loud page-turner with others. Not only is Gumbo funny, many unanswered questions have been cleverly answered. Entertaining and informative all in one book--perfect. The creative visuals are enjoyable as well. Gumbo is a must read. CatchphraseDan does not disappoint.
The author’s brilliant sense of humor immediately draws the reader into his hilarious world. Gumbo is delicious, spicy and fun. The reader will want to share this laugh out loud page-turner with others. Not only is Gumbo funny, many unanswered questions have been cleverly answered. Entertaining and informative all in one book--perfect. The creative visuals are enjoyable as well. Gumbo is a must read. CatchphraseDan does not disappoint.
July 29, 2017
Received this book in exchange for a review.
This isn't my cup of tea and because the humor is the polar opposite of mine, it took me awhile to finish it. Maybe you'll like "Gumbo", who knows.
This isn't my cup of tea and because the humor is the polar opposite of mine, it took me awhile to finish it. Maybe you'll like "Gumbo", who knows.
August 30, 2016
*I received a copy of this book for free from the author in exchange for an honest review*
First off, I really wish Goodreads would allow us to rate books with half stars, because this is a 3 1/2 star book.
What can I say? From the beginning, I found myself laughing out loud at the comments and what at first seems like stream of consciousness writing, but trust me, it all comes together. GUMBO is funnily random and I really enjoyed reading it. At just over 100 pages, its'a quick read... one that I did over a couple lunch breaks last week.
From the introduction to the outroduction and every chapter in between, GUMBO keeps a smile on your face, and chapter 4 even made me want to try some of the recipes. I'm not even joking... some of those recipes actually sounded kind of good and I may or may not plan on attempting to make them.
My only criticism of the book were the drawings. Many times, they were had to discern and didn't always seem to match up with what I was reading. At times, they were so large, it kicked the story to the next page, or only allowed for 1 or 2 sentences on a page. I guess in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal since I had an electronic copy, but for me, it interrupted the flow a little bit.
Catchphrase Dan is talented and funny and I absolutely LOVED his bio, which, unless you live under a rock, is absolutely hilarious and I wish I was clever enough to have thought of it.
First off, I really wish Goodreads would allow us to rate books with half stars, because this is a 3 1/2 star book.
What can I say? From the beginning, I found myself laughing out loud at the comments and what at first seems like stream of consciousness writing, but trust me, it all comes together. GUMBO is funnily random and I really enjoyed reading it. At just over 100 pages, its'a quick read... one that I did over a couple lunch breaks last week.
From the introduction to the outroduction and every chapter in between, GUMBO keeps a smile on your face, and chapter 4 even made me want to try some of the recipes. I'm not even joking... some of those recipes actually sounded kind of good and I may or may not plan on attempting to make them.
My only criticism of the book were the drawings. Many times, they were had to discern and didn't always seem to match up with what I was reading. At times, they were so large, it kicked the story to the next page, or only allowed for 1 or 2 sentences on a page. I guess in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal since I had an electronic copy, but for me, it interrupted the flow a little bit.
Catchphrase Dan is talented and funny and I absolutely LOVED his bio, which, unless you live under a rock, is absolutely hilarious and I wish I was clever enough to have thought of it.
August 22, 2016
It had me at "Nun Negotiator" ... and clinched it with Ratio Caine.
This is definitely a "gumbo." It reads lightly and loosely like free-association with a pal after a large quantity of adult beverages. Some definite chuckles, a dash of brilliance, and other strangeness tossed in after.
It was a brief, entertaining work that would be really distracting to have along with you while you wait for that colonoscopy to commence.
This is definitely a "gumbo." It reads lightly and loosely like free-association with a pal after a large quantity of adult beverages. Some definite chuckles, a dash of brilliance, and other strangeness tossed in after.
It was a brief, entertaining work that would be really distracting to have along with you while you wait for that colonoscopy to commence.
August 20, 2016
a collection of unrelated situations which are sure to take your mind off of anything you want to escape from for a short while
July 25, 2016
Hilarious - very well written.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews