There are going to be spoilers, but, trust me, that's not a concern with this book. The entire plot could have been resolved within 5 chapters if the main character just had a single braincell. I'm hoping in any case that this will hit the threshold where you have to click to see more after a few paragraphs, anyway.
The only conceivable way I can see that people have been rating this any higher than a 2 is because this is book 3 of the series and the folks who care about book quality have quit already. I just thought this one had a more interesting premise.
I started taking actual notes about how bad this book was within about 50 pages of starting the book. There were a lot of notes, so I'll try to remain at least something resembling succinct. This book is so bad that it becomes its own sort of entertainment, and almost fun to read again, but absolutely not because it's good. It's one of the worst books I've ever read, if not the worst.
The main character is an ABSOLUTE MORON. I'm honestly surprised she can walk considering she's practically braindead. She's also a racist, inconsiderate, a sexist, absolutely incompetent, and a ton of other horrible things. She constantly thinks of herself as being competent, and the author is definitely trying to portray her as such. It becomes almost impossible to ignore the possibility that Wellington is projecting his own capabilities into her as the only reason I could think of why anyone would think Laura is smart or competent is if they're even more stupid.
I don't have a problem with highly flawed main characters, and really you want your main characters to have defined flaws, but Laura needs to go back to preschool. It's impossible to empathise with her because she shouldn't be allowed out of the house alone, and because of how horribly she treats everyone around her. At one point she gets 7 officers killed on a whim because she's in traffic and doesn't even seem to understand what she did, let alone regret it, and then blames Jameson for her incompetency there. Honestly, if I had to tolerate Laura for more than a day, I'd consider becoming an undead bloodsucker too.
I cannot overstress this enough; Laura is in traffic, she gets a call from a cop, and during her road rage, she tells 7 people to go into a house that she knows a vampire is at. When she gets there, there's 7 extra vampires there, dressed up as cops. She doesn't realise that those are the cops she sent in there until they're all slayed, and she shows 0 regret about their deaths. You actively want Laura to die after that one, but you know she won't, because there's another sequel.
It's not helped that she's doing 200mph through populated areas too. Like, this woman actively wants to die and take out as many pedestrians as she can with her.
There's so many examples of her being so stupid that the world is better off without her in it. Almost every chapter has an example, and most of them are only a few pages long.
Near the end, Laura walks into the most blatant trap, one Dora the Explorer could evade, and she's surprised about it. How am I meant to take her seriously as a detective if she can't spot it?
Rule #1 of rescue work is that the rescuer's life is always more important than the rescuee. I'm not being callous here, I've done first aid and lifeguard training, and this is a generally accepted rule. This issue is genuinely potentially dangerous, given the normalisation of the prioritisation of the rescuee can lead to both of them dying if anyone imitates it. I know it shows your character as brave, but it also risks real lives, so we need to STOP NORMALISING IT.
How stupid does your main character have to be that she views a vampire taking off the bulletproof vest that'd made him immune to her as a genius move? Like, yes, camouflage against snow, but it's *night time*. The vest is much better camouflage.
To add insult to injury, it was obvious from the second victim that Jameson was targeting his family members, and Laura thought she was some sort of genius for putting 2 and 2 together. She's just so unbelievably hateable.
Laura's cop partner is actually competent and knowledgeable. It doesn't escape me that he's a man and there's a possibility of underlying sexism there, but essentially, this book would be infinitely better if we followed him. Laura is also too racist to even attempt to pronounce his name properly (I'd understand trying and failing but she literally doesn't try, just expects him to conform to her phonetic range), and given that, it really reads as her being too racist to pay attention to his opinions. She threatens to *fire him* because he decides to do something useful with his spare time, once he's finished with her stupidity for the day. He's the one who gets the only actual clue in the case, he has it (or at least the lead to it) by the end of chapter 5, and if he was given any respect at all, a good 35 chapters (ish) could have just been entirely skipped. It's almost worse because he is capable, because we have a glimpse of how much better a protagonist we could have had. The book would be much, much better if he was the protagonist and the conflict was about getting his crazy boss to listen to him while he has to do his best to clean up her incompetence.
Sure, Carboy's an arse, but Laura tortures a teenager. Fuck. Her. She didn't even need to do that if she just listened to her partner and had started investigating the right lead earlier!
It'd be one thing if she was actually painted as an anti-hero throughout, but she's baffled how anyone is objecting to her actions throughout; how am I meant to root for a character who genuinely thinks that torturing teenagers is an unquestionable good?
At one point, she brings a vegetarian teenager to a diner, and she's treating this vegetarian like a primary suspect of wanting to become a vampire which is absolutely insane. He's a *vegetarian*, he doesn't even want shrimps to die, no way would he submit to being a mass murderer. Further, while interviewing him at the diner, she orders him a chicken salad and puts the chicken in the bin. She's too stupid to ask the waiter for a vegetarian salad, and it's honestly really callous against the diner staff (and the chicken) to handle it like that.
Again, I'm fine with a main character being flawed, and there's obvious examples of books where stupidity is a primary flaw of the main character that are still really good (Percy Jackson and Arthur Hastings come to mind); but there's a difference between being an idiot and being so braindead that you don't know what basic words mean. You can have horrible, awful people as fun protagonists, and they remain interesting if they actually maintain understandable logic, have some redeeming qualities, and have genuine motivations; Laura is not this.
This is such egregious copaganda that it honestly cycles back around into making the cops look worse. At one point, a police armourer is so unbelievably racist that he outright says that the reason bombing a hospital full of brown people is bad is because the lawyers don't like it, not because that's killing hundreds of innocent people, including literal babies. That guy's entire stock could blow up while he's in there and the world would improve. He also advocates for shooting radioactive material around willy nilly. The main character doesn't remark on this at all, doesn't seem even slightly hesitant about working with this racist war-criminal piece of trash - which really doesn't help the racist impression that was already there from her threatening to fire her Latino partner for being competent. He's treated as being cool as opposed to a *war-criminal*.
The plot could have been resolved within 5 chapters pretty easily. All Laura had to do was actually act as if the first chapter happened, and listen to her cop partner (who is far smarter and nicer and would have been a much better protagonist). Literally, the opening chapter was blatantly obviously presenting the best lead that she was going to have.
From the cover, where there's a presentation of Jameson as a hyper-competent ex-slayer, it's obvious that he would be acquiring a bulletproof jacket within the first few days of being turned. It takes Laura until 200 pages into the book. To figure out something I worked out from a sentence into the blurb. There's even a pretty obvious set up of when he managed to get the vest - which is later than I'd have thought he'd go to get it, but it's very obvious and still pretty early on.
Laura gets her girlfriend to join the police as a photographer, and tasks her with being in charge of the materials investigation with no further prompting. During the investigation, Laura spends an entire evening bitching about being bored while also complaining about not knowing what something is. This is the same evening she figures out about the bullet proof vest - and then calls up her girlfriend and whines at her for not spending the time to google the material traces found previously. Ma'am, you just spent 6 hours bitching to the universe about having nothing to do, with your phone on you, how did you not decide to spend that time being productive rather than being ungrateful to your girlfriend who you're already being awful to?
As a woman who has no interest in dating men, I think I can give a perspective that I highly doubt anyone giving this book a good rating can. There's two types of lesbian romance that can be written by a straight male author. There are occasional actual allies, and I would highly encourage them to write lesbian romances when they want to, keep doing what they're doing. Then there's the straight men who are so toxicly masculine that they can't handle the idea of having to write a scene where a character legitimately views a man as being attractive and lesbianism becomes a fetish and a sexual goal in itself, and is also so toxicly masculine that they can't picture a gay couple not having the dynamic of a 1920s heterosexual couple. Clara and Laura are a camp 2 lesbian couple. I don't know a nicer way to put this; Laura is a cishet man who somehow woke up in a woman's body one day. It's literally the only explanation for their dynamic. At one point, Laura sees a photographer, remembers Clara is a photographer, and then immediately starts wondering what's for dinner. She literally views her girlfriend as a vehicle for food. She shows absolutely no evidence for empathy for Clara throughout the entire book. When Laura says she has to be busy for the entire night as she vampire-slays then, and Clara says she wants to spend time with her girlfriend, Laura is too inconsiderate to even recognise she has the remaining 16 hours of time that's not night per 24 hours to spend with Clara. Laura's a straight man. I don't know how else to describe her. She's just a straight man who somehow happens to be a woman. I think this is even reinforced by her being called Caxton throughout; it's like Wellington wanted to be able to hold a delusion in his head that he was writing for a man by denying her femininity at every turn.
When Laura gets arrested at the very end, trust me, all you feel is relief that this idiot mad woman is about to get taken away from where she can hurt people. I know that's the point, that she's been getting so unhinged that she has to be arrested, but she should have been arrested a month prior for incompetence, even before she got anyone killed (she gets dozens of people killed), and it really ruins the point of a slow decline when all of her risky decisions are more moronic than dedicated to the job.
"Half-dead" is a really stupid term, especially because that already just describes vampires. I was correcting it to "familiar" in my head because that's the traditional term for where "half-dead" is used. It gets really annoying really fast.
The entire mystery hinges on you happening to know about one random town's history. I don't know what the point is of having got French and UK versions of this book, as no one outside that one little region is going to have any idea about this solution. There's no foreshadowing about it at all. "Ah, there's flowers in winter!", I'm sorry, have you heard of Snowdrops? Edelweiss? Iris? Because that's just not a clue to anyone from Europe, tons of flowers here bloom in snowy conditions, and that's the only clue Laura has. The one correct conclusion she has in the entire story is a massive leap in logic.
While it doesn't really effect the reading experience, I do feel like the American cover is a lot more accurate, because the British cover looks legitimately really cool and the American cover looks suitably cringey and edgy for the story inside. I do also quite like the French cover, but the British cover was the one that did the false advertising.
I've literally never hated a main character more.