Sarah Killian: Serial Killer

by Mark Sheldon

Meet Sarah Killian, a professional serial killer (for hire!) with a twisted sense of humor.

Sarah Killian is not your average thirty year-old single woman. Foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, and a text-book-case loner. Also, she is a Professional Serial Killer.

In this Crime Fiction / Thriller novel with a twisted sense of humor, Sarah works for T.H.E.M. (Trusted Hierarchy of Everyday Murderers), a secret organization of murderers for hire headed up by the mysterious Zeke. You’ll be surprised to learn who their biggest clients are. Conspiracy theories, anyone?

But a wrench is thrown into the clockwork of Sarah's comfortable lifestyle when, on her latest assignment, she is forced to take on an apprentice, Bethany—a bubbly, perky, blonde with a severe case of verbal-vomit. In short, Bethany is everything Sarah is not.

Will Sarah be able to adjust and work with her new apprentice, or will she break her contract with T.H.E.M. and murder the buxom bimbo?

So if you’re looking for a strong female lead that doesn’t care what you think, in a book similar to the best of Dean Koontz and J.A. Konrath, then look no further than Sarah Killian – Serial Killer (For Hire).

Just don’t call her an ‘assassin.’ You might not live long enough to regret it.

Proudly represented by Crystal Lake Publishing

Genres: Horror

216 pages, Paperback

First published July 14, 2016

About the author

Mark Sheldon is the author of "The Noricin Chronicles" and "Sarah Killian: Serial Killer (For Hire!)." He has also published "Mores of the Maelstrom," a collection of short stories. Mr. Sheldon lives in Southern California with his wife, Betsy.

Reviews

[Frank Errington · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review copy

I want to love every book I read, I really do. Regrettably, it's just not possible and there are times when you pick up a title that grabs your interest, but doesn't quite live up to your expectations. Sarah Killian: Serial Killer (for Hire!) is such a tome.

Here's the synopsis from the book's Amazon page...

"Sarah Killian is not your average thirty year-old single woman. Foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, and a text-book-case loner. Also, she is a Professional Serial Killer. Sarah works for T.H.E.M. (Trusted Hierarchy of Everyday Murderers), a secret organization of murderers for hire headed up by the mysterious Zeke. But a wrench is thrown into the clockwork of Sarah's comfortable lifestyle when, on her latest assignment, she is forced to take on an apprentice, Bethany--a bubbly, perky, blonde with a severe case of verbal-vomit. In short, Bethany is everything Sarah is not. Will Sarah be able to adjust and work with her new apprentice, or will she break her contract with T.H.E.M. and murder the buxom bimbo?"

I loved the idea of a foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, loner being forced to train a bubbly, perky, blonde. And there was some genuine tension there, but it wasn't enough to overcome my disappointment with some key elements of the story.

T.H.E.M. (Trusted Hierarchy of Everyday Murderers) recruits actual serial killers and uses them to fulfill client requests. In doing so, the serial killers are authorized to not only kill the target, but to eliminate innocents, as necessary, in order to create the illusion of a serial killer being responsible.

There were a couple of twists, but they seemed a bit forced. And then there was the one thing that bothered me more than any other. The lead character would substitute the word porcupine for God over and over again. Things like, "For porcupine's sake." or "porcupine-forsaken." Her reasons for doing so are never explained. I assume she didn't like God and that's OK, after all she's a serial killer, but keeping those idioms and replacing "God" with "porcupine" drove me to distraction.

There were some very imaginative bits, some clever word play with acronyms which I can't share and keep this review to a PG rating.

Unfortunately, although there is nothing in the story that couldn't happen, I found the overall narrative to be less than believable.

Sarah Killian: Serial Killer (for Hire!) is not great literature, but it's not meant to be. For me it's just an OK story.

Published by Crystal Lake Publications, Sarah Killian: Serial Killer (for Hire!) is available in both paperback and e-book formats. If you subscribe to Kindle Unlimited you can read it at no additional charge and if you are an Amazon Prime member you can read it for FREE through the Kindle Owners Lending Library.

Mark Sheldon is the author of the twelve-part book series, The Noricin Chronicles. Mr. Sheldon lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Betsy.

[Join the Penguin Resistance! · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review of SARAH KILLIAN SERIAL KILLER by Mark Sheldon

A truly delightful somewhat-extreme horror story, released July 29, 2016, this novel relates in first person narrative the life and times of one Sarah Killian, not a woman you'd want for your best friend, but definitely individual-with-purpose. Once upon a time, beginning at age sixteen [and I think there is much more to that than meets the eye, or in this case, the page] Sarah turned the harsh lessons of life to use, and became a killer. More accurately, she started on a path of serial killing, until in her early 20's, she was recruited by the shadowy organization [layers upon layers, and who among them knows the entire and actual truth] known as T.H.E.M. Trained by this organization as a Professional Serial Killer [NOT assassin, as Sarah will insist], she is sent out as a contract killer, but rather than being say, a sniper, she frameworks each killing to appear to be that of a serial killer, and especially of the individual chosen to be a "Herring" [as in the "red herring" of the mystery genre.

I so enjoyed this story that I hope Sarah will be a series. Yes, there is gore, there is violence, there's even references to intimacy, but you don't have to worry about being overburdened with emotions. Sociopath Sarah gets along just fine without them [except for rage and vengeance, qualities she possesses in abundance!]

[Tim Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really fun story. For being a serial killer, Sarah Killian is really likable. She actually reminds me of a few people I know, minus the kiling part. The story was well paced with some good twists, a couple I saw coming but I still enjoyed it. My only complaint was the ending. I hope there is another story with Sarah coming because this kind of felt like it just ended. So four stars for this one. But I hope to see more of her.

[Dean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well that was different.

A good read for a lazy Saturday afternoon, interesting characters and a fast paced plot. If you like your heroes dark and bad**s then this could be the book for you

[Rowena Hoseason · Rating 4 out of 5]

PSKs are professional serial killers. They’re bona fide proven sociopathic mass murderers of the very worst kind: the ones who don’t get caught. Instead they’re tracked down by an ultra-secret agency, given clean IDs, makeover surgery to suit each assignment, and sent into the field as the weapon of absolutely last resort.

Mark Sheldon writes snappy, accessible copy which bristles with witty in-jokes, pop culture and clever acronyms. He’s created a brilliantly bad protagonist in sassy Sarah, a foul-mouthed misanthrope who packs a bad-ass attitude and the killing skills to back it up.

For all its risqué premise, SK is pretty ‘clean’ and not especially shocking. It leans more towards frisky chick-lit than gore-drenched horror or explicit noir. Think Bridget Jones with the odd dead body, or the tone and tempo of the Kingsman movie.

This book is a romp which takes Sarah to a high school where she’s partnered with another PSK in a traditional mismatched buddy set-up. Together they must fake a teenage rampage to prevent an actual massacre taking place. It’s a nifty plot, and the whole PSK conceit is extremely entertaining, especially with Sarah’s constant sardonic commentary on all aspects of her undercover life.

This is a rapid read, and by the time you hit the end of SK it’ll be entirely obvious that it's only the establishing chapter in an ongoing series. It introduces a snarky character with hints of extreme darkness hidden in her backstory, as well as a genuinely inventive scenario for her to exercise her anti-social talents. The central story of this book could’ve done with a bit more substance to make it more of a satisfying standalone read – it wraps up outstanding business without much wallop and then tails off, leaving all the interesting threads hanging for a future episode.

A promising start, however.
7/10

There's a longer version of this review over at http://www.murdermayhemandmore.net

[Kathryn Grace Loves Horror · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sarah Killian is a professional serial killer. When someone needs to die, her bosses send her out to kill not only the target but also people around them, in order to cover up the real story behind the crime. Sarah likes her job as much as she dislikes other people. Unfortunately, on her latest assignment, she has a trainee, the bubbly Bethany, who grates on Sarah's nerves.

This all may sound a bit far fetched, and it is; this novel can get pretty ridiculous, but it's all in good fun. I admit that I initially felt toward Sarah much the same as she felt toward Bethany, annoyed and unsure if I could put up with her the entire book. But, like Bethany grows on Sarah, Sarah grew on me, and I found myself unreservedly rooting for her by the finale.

This is a fun, fanciful read that was exactly what I needed at this moment. I will be snatching up the sequel immediately, and Mark Sheldon is definitely on my radar as a writer to watch out for.

[Kelly Rickard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sarah Killian is an serial killer but is hired to killed people by T.H.E.M (Trustworthy Hierarchy of Everyday Murderers)

She is foul mouthed, a loner and mean. This tale sees her paired up with a new member of T.H.E.M Bethany a bubbly and sickly sweet buxom blonde. Will Sarah kill her co-worker before the end of the book? Will she complete her assignment to stop a school shooting?

This book has a wicked sense of humour and lots of dark comedy. The two female leads are likeable and the twists were good.

This was a thoroughly enjoyable read.

[Johann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sarah killian is like a very angry Dexter.
She works for a shadow Corp that offs people.
To make matters more disturbing for her she now has to "work" with a trainee that she also wants to kill off.
Their assignment doesn't go as planned and now there is a chance that she could die as a result.
Sarah is sarcastic and witty throughout as this was a fun read.

[Sean Sanford · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book in prep for book three of this Sarah Killian series which will be out soon, and I’m so glad I did.

Sarah Killian is like if the Zodiac Killer and James Bond had a baby. She’s a serial killer, sure. Of which history has provided us with many. Thing is, she’s a pro. As in, it’s actually her job.

Always careful to delineate herself from an assassin, Sarah’s assignments require many steps and many deaths. She kills many to fog the murder of one. And she’s good at it. One of the best.

The Joy of Killing follows her on an assignment to Duluth, Minnesota. Where her target is a high school kid who may have a bigger fetish for Marilyn Manson than Marilyn Monroe.

Her job is to go there with a cohort, both disguised 007-style as substitute teachers to spend months creating the illusion that said Goth enthusiast killed a couple kids before killing himself; keeping him from killing even more in an armed rampage.

Things get, shall we say, tricky, and more folks end up wearing a mask than Sarah and Bethany, her co-killer. Even some of the masks have masks.

I really enjoyed this book, told from Sarah’s first-person it’s hilarious and fun to join her and all her perma-pissed quips. I highly recommend, especially as @crystal_lake_publishing is giving it away for free on Amazon.

I’m excited to read Sarah’s next assignment.

#bookreview #skater_who_reads #marksheldon #sarahkillian #serialkillerforhire #crystallakepublishing

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was received free in return for an honest review. Initially when I looked at the cover and read the blurb I wasn’t too sure that I would like it. The cover itself would’ve put me off and the blurb which talks about a ‘perky blonde’ added to that feeling; I pretty much share Sarah Killian’s views on the type, although I doubt I would kill. BUT. Once I started to read, I was completely drawn into the book. The chatty, friendly tone of the book, of Sarah herself, meant that I could not but help warm to her. I cared about a serial killer, regardless of who her intended victims were, and the killings were actually secondary. In the end it was all about Sarah and whether she survived the attentions of a former colleague who wanted her to join him in a new organisation set up in opposition to that which she worked for, or, if she refused, he would have killed her. This book does not claim to be a literary great but it is great fun and tells a story and for me that is enough. I really enjoyed this book and look forward to further adventures with Ms Killian.

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love weird and quirky characters. That's the reason I really love Dexter (the tv show - the books, not so much). And i love books by Jack Heath, an aussie writer who writes kids books and books about a cannibal consultant for the FBI (and did I say he also writes kids books!?!?!). So of course, the premise of a secret organisation of serial killers really appealed to me.

And I wasn't disappointed. Sarah Killian is a snarky, people-hating, foul mouthed serial killer sent on a mission to kill a number of people ( avoiding spoilers) to complete a mission. And I loved her! So do yourself a favour, give this book a crack- and its book 1 of a trilogy, too.

[David Savage · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The characters are superb; Sarah is gruff, sarcastic, unpredictable and fun (especially with some the phrases she uses when not wanting to swear – porcupines and Captain Hammer’s nipples).

It is written as Sarah telling the story and is full of dark comedy. The two central characters of Sarah and Bethany work very well together. It goes along at quite a fast and steady pace, which made it a quick and very enjoyable read.

A fun and enjoyable read with great characters, great story and I really hope that there is a follow up with more of Sarah’s exploits.

[Darrell Grizzle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fast-paced, exhilarating novel about a young woman who works for a shadow organization of professional serial killers. Like a female “Dexter” but with ten times the snarkiness, Sarah Killian is angry, foul-mouthed, and (despite her best intentions) very likeable. The usual plot twists and turns you’d expect from a crime novel are here, but the characters are a strong point as well. Highly entertaining.

[Andretta Schellinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

So while the cover on my kindle is a little hocky, the story is really good. You follow a PSK, professional serial killer as she takes on a job. One that falls a little outside her normal jobs.

[Julie Hiner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having devoured many serial killer books, I loved this fresh take on the serial killer as a main character. A real page turner with surprising twists!

[Shadow Girl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a good story, and I have a ton of highlights to sift and sort through before writing a review. I just had to point out that I'm a 5 star fan of Mark Sheldon now!
My first highlight was at the beginning of chapter two, with note that reads "bonus points to author for being awesome!" Seriously - the Dr. Horrible references sprinkled throughout the story were killing me! (And I vow that I am going to try and cut at least one 'fuck' from my daily vocabulary, and replace it with 'Captain Hammer's Nipples').
I caught a couple of references to great 'bad movies' that no one has seen (the painted killer camouflage from When A Stranger Calls Back made me squeal!), and now I wonder what I may have missed!
I had a lot of fun reading Sarah Killlian: Serial Killer - Thanks Mark!

♥ P, L & N ♥
~sg

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

An awesome read

What can I say about this book ? It was a good book, that's what! crystal lake has again published a quality book. Mark Sheldon has left me wanting more. I hope there is a sequel! (Hint, hint) I highly recommend to all fans of modern horror !!!!

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

This quite an enjoyable fast paced read.
I am hoping this will be the start of a new series to follow along with.

[Miguel Bizarre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh Porcupines!!! A quick fun read about Sarah and the joy of killing.