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Parsnips, Buttered: How to win at modern life, one email at a time
Parsnips, How to win at modern life, one email at a time [Hardcover] Lycett, Joe
293 pages, Hardcover
First published October 20, 2016
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3058 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 635 reviews
April 19, 2024
I just read the whole thing from start to finish in the bath, which I feel like Joe Lycett would approve of
February 15, 2017
Although I enjoyed this book I am reluctant to award it a five star rating. I am a fan of Joe Lycett and I was overjoyed when I found out he had a recipe book featuring my favourite root vegetable, the parsnip. Even more so when I realised it was paired with the ultimate in fats that are solid at room temperature, butter.
My mouth began to salivate at the mere thought of the aforementioned buttered parsnips, but alas, it was not meant to be. The name was merely an illusion created by Mr Lycett to con unsuspecting seasonal vegetable fans into buying this nonsensical book. As I stood there in my kitchen, parsnips and butter at the ready, I realised what a fool I had been. This book wasn't going to be my saviour, I was not to be enjoying golden batons of earthy goodness smothered in a rich butter.
You are a liar Mr Lycett, a charlatan and a thief. I demand you send me a recipe post haste or my lawyers will be in contact for false advertising. Hopefully you will be in touch soon.
My mouth began to salivate at the mere thought of the aforementioned buttered parsnips, but alas, it was not meant to be. The name was merely an illusion created by Mr Lycett to con unsuspecting seasonal vegetable fans into buying this nonsensical book. As I stood there in my kitchen, parsnips and butter at the ready, I realised what a fool I had been. This book wasn't going to be my saviour, I was not to be enjoying golden batons of earthy goodness smothered in a rich butter.
You are a liar Mr Lycett, a charlatan and a thief. I demand you send me a recipe post haste or my lawyers will be in contact for false advertising. Hopefully you will be in touch soon.
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November 12, 2022
This review can be found on Amaranthine Reads.
Joe Lycett is an English stand-up comedian, noted for his appearances on television comedy panel shows like 8 Out of 10 Cats and his devious ways of getting out of parking fines, which is the basis for this book.
I have oft imagined myself and Joe wandering over the horizon in the glow of a sunset and post-coital haze, but the very notion of having to sort out which Jo/e they're asking for would cause too much havoc in our already havoc-laden lives, due to his irrevocable penchant for accruing parking fines and my grand desire to lure Ben Swift away from the road with Tayto Crisps. It would, alas, never work.
Parsnips, Buttered isn't a biography nor a self-help book, though it is closest to the latter than anything else (except, maybe, The Very Hungry Caterpillar). What someone has bequeathed you with is an extremely witty book from a man who spends far too much time behind a keyboard. Joe is the maestro of wasting the time of local councils-but does it with such style that it is inevitable he will a.) get away with it all and b.) seriously make you question your own life-decisions and feel the need to start requesting for personal data through the Subject Access Request.
Parsnips, Buttered will give you tips on many areas of modern-day living, including how to deal with Facebook spammers and friends alike, and, simply, how to piss off anyone you don't like including people who send you hate mail or just stand in a clique group and give you death stares.
The book itself is written relatively well, though there are times at the beginning where weak jokes and self-effacing sentences run amok, though once you get in to the meat and two veg of the piece we are welcomed by warm wit and a man who definitely knows how to cause mischief. There are one or two moments when a slight layer of hypocrisy breaks through slightly (killing people with kindness is all very well, but one should be able to appreciate that some people want to live in the wild) though all is forgiven as hypocrisy can sometimes be a good thing and it felt more accidental through Joe being young and not knowing everything about himself rather than obvious cynicism.
It is utterly ludicrous at times, but throws up some very important issues like homophobia and so-called islamic state, and Joe has no qualms in calling spades spades and idiots utter idiots. It is a joy and will probably change your life in some way, shape or form, if only to make you aware that you can in fact contest parking fines. Joe Lycett is a wonderful comic with a good life ahead and I welcome more books like this from him.
Joe Lycett is an English stand-up comedian, noted for his appearances on television comedy panel shows like 8 Out of 10 Cats and his devious ways of getting out of parking fines, which is the basis for this book.
I have oft imagined myself and Joe wandering over the horizon in the glow of a sunset and post-coital haze, but the very notion of having to sort out which Jo/e they're asking for would cause too much havoc in our already havoc-laden lives, due to his irrevocable penchant for accruing parking fines and my grand desire to lure Ben Swift away from the road with Tayto Crisps. It would, alas, never work.
Parsnips, Buttered isn't a biography nor a self-help book, though it is closest to the latter than anything else (except, maybe, The Very Hungry Caterpillar). What someone has bequeathed you with is an extremely witty book from a man who spends far too much time behind a keyboard. Joe is the maestro of wasting the time of local councils-but does it with such style that it is inevitable he will a.) get away with it all and b.) seriously make you question your own life-decisions and feel the need to start requesting for personal data through the Subject Access Request.
Parsnips, Buttered will give you tips on many areas of modern-day living, including how to deal with Facebook spammers and friends alike, and, simply, how to piss off anyone you don't like including people who send you hate mail or just stand in a clique group and give you death stares.
The book itself is written relatively well, though there are times at the beginning where weak jokes and self-effacing sentences run amok, though once you get in to the meat and two veg of the piece we are welcomed by warm wit and a man who definitely knows how to cause mischief. There are one or two moments when a slight layer of hypocrisy breaks through slightly (killing people with kindness is all very well, but one should be able to appreciate that some people want to live in the wild) though all is forgiven as hypocrisy can sometimes be a good thing and it felt more accidental through Joe being young and not knowing everything about himself rather than obvious cynicism.
It is utterly ludicrous at times, but throws up some very important issues like homophobia and so-called islamic state, and Joe has no qualms in calling spades spades and idiots utter idiots. It is a joy and will probably change your life in some way, shape or form, if only to make you aware that you can in fact contest parking fines. Joe Lycett is a wonderful comic with a good life ahead and I welcome more books like this from him.
April 19, 2017
I've rated 'Parsnips, Buttered' 5 stars because I'm genuinely scared that if I rate it anything less, Joe Lycett will make my life a living hell. Also, it's absolutely hilarious. But I'm still scared!
March 31, 2017
This is one of the funniest books I've read in a long time. I first saw Joe Lycett on 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown and have found him hilarious ever since so when I saw he had a book, I just had to order it in at the library.
I think that Joe Lycett's sense of humour is perfect for this style of book and his voice comes through really strongly in his writing. Not only did he include photographs in some chapters but almost every page included an illustration done by Joe himself. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and have dealt with many of the situations that Joe discusses so I could relate to some of his frustrations.
Overall, I would definitely recommend this book, especially if you have a dark or silly sense of humour. I can't wait to see or read more of Joe Lycett's work!
I think that Joe Lycett's sense of humour is perfect for this style of book and his voice comes through really strongly in his writing. Not only did he include photographs in some chapters but almost every page included an illustration done by Joe himself. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and have dealt with many of the situations that Joe discusses so I could relate to some of his frustrations.
Overall, I would definitely recommend this book, especially if you have a dark or silly sense of humour. I can't wait to see or read more of Joe Lycett's work!
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February 22, 2023I really like Joe Lycett on TV but this book came across to me as incredibly unlikeable. Partly it's such a cut and paste job: it's about 40% his obnoxious emails to people. Which I know is his thing, but they're presented in a very self-congratulatory way, most of them just aren't that funny, and some of them come across as pretty unpleasant. I love it when he takes on shitty exploitative people and hypocrites, but, eg vituperatively slagging off parking attendants as individuals because he's parking obnoxiously in a crowded city and doesn't like being fined for it? Yuck. Disappointing and not at all the vibe I expected/wanted.
April 15, 2019
*2.5
A fun audiobook to listen to; well-narrated. However, the content was clearly recycled from live shows, tv appearances, etc.
Fun background noise to fall asleep to though!
A fun audiobook to listen to; well-narrated. However, the content was clearly recycled from live shows, tv appearances, etc.
Fun background noise to fall asleep to though!
June 14, 2024
This is a delightfully funny and quick read. Definitely recommend for fans of Joe Lycett! 4.3 stars
August 12, 2019
Absolutely hilarious! I highly recommend the audiobook
February 24, 2024
If these things happened then it’s moderately funny; if they didn’t happen then it’s not funny and it’s very cringe inducing. Unfortunately I’m getting the vibe that it’s the latter
June 12, 2024
This book is ridiculous, over the top and brilliantly funny. Just like the author, and I am HERE for it 🔥🤣
I did a re-read, and it still cracks me up.. 🤭
I did a re-read, and it still cracks me up.. 🤭
July 16, 2017
I listened to this on Audible, just as a something short and light-hearted while I take a break slogging through a 57-hour history audiobook.
It's a collection of odd anecdotes of Joe Lycett's interactions with others, usually in the form of messing with people via phone and email. It's not serious in the slightest, and made me laugh out loud at some of the more bizarre stories. Well, not the bizarre ones.
Read by Joe himself, his delivery matches the comedy perfctly (as you'd imagine, it being his own work and all). If you're not a fan of him as a comedian I doubt this would convert you, but if you like his slightly off-beat posh style then this is a good'un.
My only worry, other than that his style might not be for everyone, is that it's very UK-centric, and very current-events focused. I don't know if the content would transfer to an American audience, for example, and in a few years this material will be rather dated.
Just something light to listen to of an afternoon. I liked it, anyway.
It's a collection of odd anecdotes of Joe Lycett's interactions with others, usually in the form of messing with people via phone and email. It's not serious in the slightest, and made me laugh out loud at some of the more bizarre stories. Well, not the bizarre ones.
Read by Joe himself, his delivery matches the comedy perfctly (as you'd imagine, it being his own work and all). If you're not a fan of him as a comedian I doubt this would convert you, but if you like his slightly off-beat posh style then this is a good'un.
My only worry, other than that his style might not be for everyone, is that it's very UK-centric, and very current-events focused. I don't know if the content would transfer to an American audience, for example, and in a few years this material will be rather dated.
Just something light to listen to of an afternoon. I liked it, anyway.
March 9, 2018
This book is manual for how to be professional troll. It's elementary, high school and academy of trolling all in one. It's also first time, now in my ripe age, I really dig English humor. And now I get it what it's about. It's about cinicism of course, mixed with passive aggression and teenage libido. When you somehow manage to incorporate all three, you're master of English humor and probably screenwriting one of the legendary English TV series. Or books like this one.
July 19, 2023
Read it when I couldn’t sleep on an eve, hilarious and 99p what a bargain
April 23, 2024
Equal parts annoying and funny. A lot of the pranks were targeted at people who aren’t responsible for the annoying issues
March 3, 2024
3,5⭐️
April 28, 2021
Absolutely hilarious and phenomenal! Listened to the audio book which was great as Joe narrated it himself. Although I’d heard many jokes already they were still equally as hilarious and there were many I hadn’t heard before. Hugely recommend!
November 17, 2017
I’ve seen Joe Lycett lots of times on the TV and have recently seen him live at a comedy night. Whilst out shopping with my husband, we saw his DVD which we decided to buy as we had really enjoyed watching him live. My husband then asks me whether I knew he had a book out also. Well, this was news to me, which is really strange as a) I love my books and b) I work in a library. You would have thought I would have seen this book on my travels, but I hadn’t. So off to the bookshop I went, and after flicking through this book decided that I just had to read it.
Now, I haven’t finished reading it yet, but I know it’s going to be a 5 star review just from reading the first few pages! Joe has a penchant for complaining (or winding people up – isn’t that the same thing?) via emails, tweets, texts and letters. Many of these complaints (or wind ups) have been heard already in his numerous TV appearances, but in the book they are ‘beefed’ up somewhat with an extended version of each story. The result is a hilarious collection of anecdotes, emails and pictures from Joe to various people and companies. These include local councils, neighbours, Starbucks and, of course, Donald Trump.
Obviously this book should not be taken seriously in any way, shape or form. It is a cheeky, light heartened and downright funny book which should definitely not be read in public places unless you want many disapproving looks of you laughing out loud. Oh….and I have to admit that Joe Lycett has now become my secret guilty pleasure!
Five Stars!
Now, I haven’t finished reading it yet, but I know it’s going to be a 5 star review just from reading the first few pages! Joe has a penchant for complaining (or winding people up – isn’t that the same thing?) via emails, tweets, texts and letters. Many of these complaints (or wind ups) have been heard already in his numerous TV appearances, but in the book they are ‘beefed’ up somewhat with an extended version of each story. The result is a hilarious collection of anecdotes, emails and pictures from Joe to various people and companies. These include local councils, neighbours, Starbucks and, of course, Donald Trump.
Obviously this book should not be taken seriously in any way, shape or form. It is a cheeky, light heartened and downright funny book which should definitely not be read in public places unless you want many disapproving looks of you laughing out loud. Oh….and I have to admit that Joe Lycett has now become my secret guilty pleasure!
Five Stars!
October 16, 2018
meh...
October 5, 2021
Very funny, tips for everyone and I really like parsnips…
April 26, 2022
3.8
I'm a fan of Joe Lycett so I'm already biased. Which you would be too because you'd be reading a book by a person you would be 1. a fan of or 2. interested in.
Anyhoo, I needed this book to be a little longer but I will be honest there are moments in this book where you will be chuckling aloud. Which is fine when you're at home reading this but if you are say at a wine bar and by yourself and you're reading on your phone and you nearly choke on your olives because you're laughing hard enough...it's a great advert for the book but less so for your sanity.
If you like comeuppance, mischief, Joe Lycett or foxes...I recommend.
I'm a fan of Joe Lycett so I'm already biased. Which you would be too because you'd be reading a book by a person you would be 1. a fan of or 2. interested in.
Anyhoo, I needed this book to be a little longer but I will be honest there are moments in this book where you will be chuckling aloud. Which is fine when you're at home reading this but if you are say at a wine bar and by yourself and you're reading on your phone and you nearly choke on your olives because you're laughing hard enough...it's a great advert for the book but less so for your sanity.
If you like comeuppance, mischief, Joe Lycett or foxes...I recommend.
June 5, 2019
I snorted out loud multiple times!
December 31, 2022
Laugh out loud book. A must if you've enjoyed his series Joe Lycett's got your back!
June 22, 2025
(3.75 stars) Joe Lycett is always hilarious and this is a fun and light hearted book
October 22, 2021
Тут багато моментів які вже були в стендапах Джо, але вони iconic так що ідеально.
October 31, 2019
Joe Lycett is one of my favourite comedians and so it was no surprise that this book had me screech with laughter in certain moments. While I didn't find all of the chapters equally funny, the best ones are really hilarious. Some of my favourites are the story of the "cat" named Samantha Peterson (who is really a fox), Joe Lycett not liking Christmas, his suggestions for yoghurt ads, Joe answering the e-mails of a friend's nosy neighbours, his answer to hate mail and of course his numerous attempts at answering scammers. Recommended.
March 31, 2022
Laugh out loud funny, especially in its audiobook form narrated by Joe Lycett himself. Any fans of his would have probably heard many of those stories before, but it's still hilarious.
December 31, 2021
An Amazing funny book that any lover of Joe Lycett's comedy would find amazingly funny.
October 7, 2017
This book is hilarious, a laugh a minute from beginning to end. It contains some of the stuff Joe does in his routine, but there's loads here that we take for granted as a way of doing things, but when we step back, we see how ridiculous they are. Amazing book!
October 2, 2020
If you already know Joe Lycett, this will be everything you expect and more.
If you have no idea who Joe is, perhaps two of his exploits - not covered in this book - can give you a greater understanding of what you're in for:
- What started as a social media lark ended with the then Lord Mayor of Birmingham, Yvonne Mosquito, cutting the ribbon for the opening of Joe's new kitchen extension. Yes, his kitchen reno. Further results were a lovely commemorative plaque and £3,000 raised for charity.
- He legally changed his name to Hugo Boss for a while to bring attention to large corporations going after small businesses.
Although he's hilarious in lots of ways, these examples show that Joe is a big fan of trolling and trying to turn situations on their heads. It's precisely this aspect of him that's on full display in a book that had me laughing out loud at many points and gave me a much-needed dose of levity.
Each chapter addresses a completely different how-to, so it's also a great book for anyone who wants to be able to dip into absurdity for a brief mo' and come out glowing and refreshed.
I Lycett, I really Lycett.
If you have no idea who Joe is, perhaps two of his exploits - not covered in this book - can give you a greater understanding of what you're in for:
- What started as a social media lark ended with the then Lord Mayor of Birmingham, Yvonne Mosquito, cutting the ribbon for the opening of Joe's new kitchen extension. Yes, his kitchen reno. Further results were a lovely commemorative plaque and £3,000 raised for charity.
- He legally changed his name to Hugo Boss for a while to bring attention to large corporations going after small businesses.
Although he's hilarious in lots of ways, these examples show that Joe is a big fan of trolling and trying to turn situations on their heads. It's precisely this aspect of him that's on full display in a book that had me laughing out loud at many points and gave me a much-needed dose of levity.
Each chapter addresses a completely different how-to, so it's also a great book for anyone who wants to be able to dip into absurdity for a brief mo' and come out glowing and refreshed.
I Lycett, I really Lycett.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 635 reviews