The Mating Game: Why Men Want Sex & Women Need Love

by Allan Pease, Barbara Pease

International bestselling authors Allan and Barbara Pease (WHY MEN DON'T LISTEN AND WOMEN CAN'T READ MAPS) focus their insight and wit on the most popular, and some would maintain, important part of any relationship: sex. In their inimitable style they explore what men and women want from a sexual relationship and give humourous and practical advice. Discover:

What men and women really want from love and sex
How to find a great partner
What to do when the chemistry is wrong
How to have a happy future with your partner

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Relationships, Self Help, Sexuality, Love, Science

290 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 21, 2016

About the author

Allan Pease is an Australian author and motivational speaker. Despite having no education in psychology, neuroscience, or psychiatry, he has managed to establish himself as an "expert on relationships".

Originally a musician, he became a successful life insurance salesman, he started a career as a speaker and trainer in sales and latterly in body language. This resulted in a popular sideline of audio tapes, many of which feature his irreverent wit.

His best-selling book Body Language brought him international recognition. It has been followed by several others. He is quite well known in Australia and during the 1980s he was an occasional TV analyst for political debates where he would analyze the body language and overall performance of the contestants.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allan_Pease

Reviews

[Rocio · Rating 1 out of 5]

I think this is an essentialist worthless book and an epic piece of trash.
Simply repackages stereotypes that are palatable to "traditional" Western values.

Tries to prove through pseudoscience (aka bad evolutionary psychology) how ALL men are horndogs who are always ready for sex, and how women who actually enjoy casual sex must be damaged (have self-esteem issues) or been masculine (have high testosterone) and how men ONLY do *anything* for women ever as brownie points for sex, and how women are only interested their entire lives in long-term relationships and don't "really" enjoy sex for its own sake.

Made many dubious claims which many of which were quite easy to debunk with a few minutes of internet research. (Such as their claim that there is a universal male preference for a certain hip to waist ratio but there are studies that show that in isolated societies (those not exposed to global media) there actually different preferences (so def no universal here).

And its argumentation and logic was just awful, I remember one quote about women that said "But you know deep down inside its true!" No, that's not how science or logic proves anything, that's not any sort of an argument, just an appeal to emotion and prejudice.

Also amazing how they simplistic attribute all this behavior to genetics and not at all to socialization. Also loved the part where they trashed those who criticize them as being "politically motivated". Got news for them, defending the status quo is just as politically motivated as anything else and probably even MORE politically motivated.

This book was one of the most insulting things I've ever read claimed about human beings, as if we're not complex adaptable creatures who have wide range of variation and instead ONLY ruled by our genitals.

This is so stuck in a black and white gender essentialist Western Christian framework, they probably sold so many books because they told people what they wanted to hear rather than what a sex researcher will probably tell you, something like "there is a very wide range of sexual human behavior and practices" throughout different cultures and times.

Perfect example of when our prejudices get all wrapped up in scientific clothing but really don't hold to rigor at all. Or how the authority of science is used to try to uphold our prejudices (reminds of how 19th century sciences tried to "prove" the genetic inferiority of other races). Good question one of the critics of "men are horndogs and women are just emotional" line of interpretation of evolutionary psychology said was that if females just aren't that interested in non-monogamous sex than why did so many societies put so much energy into regulating their sexual habits through all of human history?

[Lan Tô Thị Hoàng · Rating 5 out of 5]

Đây là 1 quyển sách giải mã tất tần tật về tình dục và tình yêu của cả hai giới dưới góc nhìn khoa học và lịch sử.
Đọc quyển này,
Nếu bạn là phái mạnh, bạn sẽ biết:
- Cách thu hút 1 bạn nữ
- Mình quyến rũ nhất trong mắt phụ nữ khi nào
- Cách làm gì để "hạ gục" đối thủ
- Cách nâng cao chỉ số hấp dẫn của bản thân
Bạn cũng sẽ hiểu được bạn gái/vợ của mình.
Nếu bạn là phái yếu, bạn cũng sẽ biết:
- Cách thu hút 1 bạn nam
- Mình quyến rũ nhất trong mắt người đàn ông khi nào
- Cách làm gì để "hạ gục" đối thủ
- Cách nâng cao chỉ số hấp dẫn của bản thân
Bạn cũng sẽ hiểu được bạn trai/chồng của mình.
Ngoài ra, các bạn nữ sẽ có cái nhìn sâu sắc hơn và động lực lớn hơn nếu không muốn quan hệ tình dục với một người mà chưa biết chắc sẽ trở thành chồng mình.
Nghiên cứu cho thấy rằng, nếu 1 người đàn ông không có ý định kết hôn cùng bạn, chỉ cần qua 6 lần quan hệ tình dục, người đó sẽ chán bạn.
Thật nguy hiểm nếu quyển sách này rơi vào 1 tay "sở khanh". Nhưng cũng thật may mắn, đa số phụ nữ có thể đọc được những dấu hiệu mà đàn ông không đọc được.
Có lẽ là luật bù trừ của tạo hóa.
"Hồi xưa, thượng đế tạo ra thế giới. Rồi ngài đi nghỉ.
Sau đó, ngài tạo ra đàn ông. Rồi ngài đi nghỉ.
Sau khi tạo ra đàn ông, ngài tạo ra phụ nữ. Từ đó, cả ngài và đàn ông không còn có thể nghỉ ngơi được nữa."
Rất nhiều chuyện hài về đàn ông và phụ nữ trong quyển sách này, làm cho những trang sách dày đặc chữ khoa học trở nên lôi cuốn và thư giãn hơn.
Hãy đọc quyển sách này để:
- Có bạn trai/gái nếu giờ bạn chưa có
- "Câu" được 1 bạn trai/bạn gái với tiêu chí cao hơn người cũ nếu bạn đang có bạn và chưa hài lòng :))))
- Sống hòa hợp với người bạn đời của mình nếu đã lập gia đình.

[Mike Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

According to the authors, our attitudes towards sex and love are strongly influenced by our basic evolutionary history and biological needs. Men can't be sure that any given baby is theirs (the book says that studies show that about 10% of children born to married couples are not the husbands' biological children), so they are driven to have sex with as many women as possible to have a reasonable chance of fathering children. Women, on the other hand, know exactly which babies are theirs since they carried and delivered them. What they need is a man who will be willing to provide food, shelter, and security during and after pregnancy. The authors don't suggest that either attitude is right or wrong, although they do apologize to feminists for stating their thesis so plainly. They do say that by better understanding what drives the opposite sex, we can make our relationships better.
The book is written in an engaging and straightforward style, with very little scientific jargon, although it cites a large number of scientific and sociological studies of sexual behaviour and attitudes. A few cartoons and jokes are scattered throughout the book to lighten the mood a bit, but the underlying research is serious stuff.
Based on my own experience, I would say that most of what the authors say is credible and sensible. I recommend this book to anyone in a relationship or thinking of entering into one.

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just in the style of its title, the book establishes its theme in a very simple and direct manner. It stresses repeatedly that the two sexes behave almost completely differently, due to their biological and psychological "hard wiring", which has not changed from primitive humans to civilized ones.

Since the authors are not formally trained scholars (not much reputation is at risk), one obvious question is how much this book can be trusted. As I only listened to the audio book I could not see the bibliography at the end; assuming the bibliography is good and matches the quotes in the text, which form the most of it, then I think this book is surprisingly quite scholarly--the authors compiled results mostly from university researchers. On the other hand, there is no survey of the research history in this field, no mentioning of any academic debates or opposing results, which then make the book not very scholarly.

[Mia Prasetya · Rating 3 out of 5]

*uhuk*

Heboh juga judul buku yang saya jadikan buku non fiksi untuk posting bareng #BBI bulan November. Sama seperti bicara soal cinta, berbicara hubungan pria dan wanita sepertinya memang tidak ada habisnya. Buku karangan sepasang suami istri Allan Pease dan Barbara Pease mengungkapkan akan apa sebenarnya yang diinginkan kaum pria dan wanita dalam suatu hubungan. Didasari dengan penelitian dan riset, mereka mencoba mencari jawaban dari apa itu cinta? Apakah benar pria lebih tertarik dengan seks dibanding wanita?

Sebagai pendahuluan kita akan diajak untuk mengenal ‘cinta’ lebih jauh. Bagaimana mekanisme kerja otak dan hormon apa saja yang bertanggung jawab ketika kita jatuh cinta. Perbedaan hormon yang cukup tinggi juga bisa menjadi pemicu keretakan suatu hubungan loh ternyata!

Bab Bagaimana Hollywood dan Media Massa Mewarnai Sudut Pandang Kita di halaman 66 lumayan menarik perhatian saya karena ada hubungannya dengan buku. *tetep ya*

Disebutkan bahwa film Hollywood adalah sejumlah citra buatan, asmara palsu, kemewahan artifisial, namun laki-laki dan perempuan seantero dunia diharapkan menyamai citra semacam itu di kehidupan nyata. Citra itulah yang dijejalkan kepada benak kita sehingga sekarang banyak perempuan melakukan tindakan drastis untuk menandingi sosok dewi sempurna di layar kaca, sementara para lelaki diharapkan untuk menjadi lebih menyenangkan, lebih menggairahkan dan romantis dibanding masa-masa sebelumnya dalam sejarah manusia.

Setiap hari perempuan terpapar citra ‘laki-laki macho’ yang bertubuh sempurna, mengenakan pakaian mahal, dada berbulu dan janggut tercukur rapi. *kategori dada berbulu boleh dihapus kok kalau saya jadi editornya* Sejumlah citra itu sesungguhnya membuat perempuan merasa bahwa dialah satu-satunya yang tidak menikah dengan laki-laki tampan, akibatnya berbagai penelitian mengungkapkan bahwa perempuan yang menghabiskan waktu dengan membaca novel romantis yang didasarkan atas fantasi, tidak pernah merasa bahagia dengan kehidupan mereka, meskipun sejumlah penelitian pun mendapati mereka biasanya mengalami orgasme lebih banyak bila dibandingkan dengan mereka yang tidak pernah membacanya.

Saya setuju sekaligus tidak setuju dengan pernyataan di atas, mungkin saja membaca novel romantis sekedar melepaskan diri dari rutinitas pekerjaan berat dan hanya ingin bersantai, terlebih lagi novel romance biasanya endingnya gampang ditebak happily ever after. Jadi kalau dibilang tidak pernah bahagia rasanya terlalu ekstrim. Siapa tahu ada yang ingin meneliti lebih lanjut fenomena ini di kalangan pembaca di Indonesia? :p

Balik ke pencitraan di atas, akibat yang terjadi sekarang adalah tantangan hidup pria menjadi lebih berat, menjadi ksatria di tempat kerja, pencinta ulung, memiliki perut six pack, ayah yang sempurna dan sensitif ketika menonton film komedi romantis. – hal 72. Wah wah wah, boleh juga nih kalau dapat satu paket pria seperti ini, tapi masih banyak hal mendasar yang lebih penting ketimbang perut six pack bukan?

Bab lain yang juga menarik adalah bab Cara Menemukan Pasangan yang Tepat – Kuis Nilai Pasangan. Boleh juga dicoba kepada anda dan pasangan anda. Intinya, kita akan cenderung untuk tertarik kepada lawan jenis yang memiliki kelebihan yang tidak kita miliki namun pada akhirnya setelah hormon stabil dan otak sudah mampu berpikir jernih, pilihan yang menentukan pasangan kita adalah orang yang setara dengan kita, karena kesetaraan itulah yang menyatukan.

Secara keseluruhan buku Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love menarik untuk kita baca, membantu kita untuk menyelami pikiran lawan jenis. Di sela-sela artikel tak jarang juga penulis menyelipkan quote menarik ataupun lelucon agar kita tidak bosan. Seperti yang tertera di halaman 335 :

Empat lelaki pergi memancing. Setelah satu jam duduk di tepi sungai, salah satu dari mereka berkata, “Kalian tidak akan percaya apa yang harus kulakukan supaya dapat izin pergi memancing akhir pekan ini. Aku harus berjanji kepada istriku untuk menata ulang setiap ruangan di rumah!”

Lelaki kedua berkata, “Ah, itu sih tidak ada apa-apanya! Aku harus berjanji kepada istriku untuk menanam rumput di seluruh halaman belakang dan membuatkan ayunan untuk anak-anak.”

Lelaki nomor tiga tersenyum, “Kalian semua tidak sadar kalau sebenarnya kalian itu beruntung. Aku harus berjanji kepada pacarku untuk merenovasi ruangan dapur dan membuatkan pergola di halaman.”

Mereka bertiga kemudia lanjut memancing. Kemudia mereka menyadari lelaki keempat belum berbicara. “Jerry!”, panggil lelaki pertama. “Apa yang harus kamu lakukan agar dapat pergi memancing?”

Jerry menggerakkan bahunya dengan santai, “Aku hanya perlu mengatur jam weker agar berbunyi pukul 05.30. Ketika jam berbunyi aku mematikannya, memeluk istriku dan bertanya, “Memancing atau seks?” Dia membalikkan badannya lalu berkata, “Jangan lupa bawa jaket.”

Sepertinya bolak balik baca buku pengembangan diri seperti ini kalau kita tidak ’peka’ terhadap pasangan sama saja, yang penting bagaimana memupuk cinta setiap hari, bersyukur dan memandang hidup dengan persepsi yang lebih positif. #sokbijak #padahalbelumnikah #kokjadicurcol.

Udah ah, have a great day people dan jangan lupa sampaikan kepada keluarga betapa kita mencintai mereka. Kan tambah ga nyambung Sepertinya review ini harus disudahi saja ga bakat nulis serius, harap maklum ya jarang-jarang mereview buku non fiksi :p

Sekilas tentang pengarang :

Allan dan Barbara Peace adalah penulis dan motivator terkenal di Australia. Mereka telah menulis 15 buku best seller yang mengkhususkan diri di bidang hubungan antar manusia. Beberapa judulnya memang dibuat cukup menarik, di antaranya : Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t read Maps, Why Men Don’t have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes, Why He’s So Last Minute and She Got It All Wrapped Up.

[Anintya Novitasari · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unfortunately, this book contain the 'west people' point of view. So there are several things that different with the condition in Indonesia and it can't be applied.

[Karen Jackson]

This is an incredible book on relationships! I check it out from the library and after reading it, decided I need to purchase my own copy.
It is still interesting the second time around.

[books4chess · Rating 1 out of 5]

too ridiculous to review, sorry.

[Càng Duynh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hồi tiểu học, con bạn thân quay sang nói nhỏ với mình, giọng nghiêm trọng kiểu:" Ê mày, hôm qua tao đi nhà sách, tao thấy có quyển Tại sao đàn ông thích tình dục và phụ nữ cần tình yêu đó, ghê chưa!" Lúc đó mình cũng còn bé, nghĩ trong đầu, đúng là sách vở cũng có nhiều cái nhảm nhí thật, chắc là sách dành cho mấy người đầu óc bậy bạ, né ra cho lành.
Gần chục năm sau, không biết mình có thành "người có đầu óc bậy bạ" như hồi bé mình muốn né không, mà đọc xong quyển sách, mình kiểu "Èo, chả có gì mới."
Đọc xong cũng hơi thất vọng, vì đúng là không có gì mới thật, nên đọc rất nhanh. Nó chỉ là khẳng định lại những điều mình đã biết trước đó, trình bày lại một cách khoa học hơn, giúp mình từ giờ trở đi có cái cớ để đổ lỗi mỗi khi lỡ gây ra lầm lỗi trong tình dục và tình yêu "Darwin bảo em làm thế!".
Đùa thôi, sách phân tích tình dục và tình yêu dưới góc độ khoa học, và ở chương cuối cũng có lưu ý rằng điều này không có nghĩa bạn có thể đổ lỗi sự lăng chạ hay thiếu đứng đắn của mình vào sinh học hay lịch sử, mà là để hiểu rằng góc nhìn của đàn ông và đàn bà khác nhau, để mà từ đó tôn trọng, thấu hiểu chứ đừng mong thay đổi. À, một điểm cộng là sách được viết khá hài hước và châm biếm chứ không hề khô khan hay khó hiểu đâu.
Thật ra những nội dung này hơi ngoài sự trải nghiệm của mình và hơi sớm, nên cũng không thể đưa ra nhận xét chính xác, nhưng mà thôi kệ, biết thêm cũng không thừa.

[Farah Irshad · Rating 3 out of 5]

So the man is an emotionless creature. All he has a sexual instinct that drives him to compete with his fellow men. Thus, he could get more women to satisfy his erotic needs. OKAY

[Nermy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked and enjoyed reading it. It focused on The scientific and biological basis of human relations; love, attraction, sex, ... How: our brains and hormones act and interact inside and reflected outside in our actions.
Very interesting. Though, I don't like the way it covers human relations in a very practical way ignoring but even bluntly denying that mystical relation that turns on flame. I believe, the issue is spiritually followed by chemical then biological Interactions.
Also, I believe there exists, many exceptions. Rules can't be generalized in evaluation, prioritizing, reacting among men and women.

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

Took a longer time to finish this book because it is not the usual genre I read. I like the book though. Although it is criticized for only analyzing love from the aspect of science and not a bit from the aspect of emotion, I think it is a good read. The facts are really based on scientific research and papers. There's nothing wrong to learn a little bit more. Plus the comics and little jokes in the book are cute and funny. Just don't take it too seriously and you will find yourself reading a very entertaining book.

[Brittany · Rating 1 out of 5]

Most of the statistics in this book are dubious and the theories are full of holes. The authors reference their rejection of feminism multiple times without much commentary on men and women as individual people with sexual agency. It is mostly full of stereotypes and antiquated rigid gender roles as opposed to the critique of modern sociological forces and ancient human mating practices laid out in Sex at Dawn. I was looking for a better researched thesis than what was laid out in this book.

[Void lon iXaarii · Rating 4 out of 5]

It certainly is a delightfully politically incorrect book, with each chapter told alternatively from the male/female perspective, it is probably a hard to digest book for many, but for those who can take it there's some really good info in there. Also as a bonus there's a shocking amount of surprisingly subtle humor (even to unexpectedly rare social points).

[Araceli · Rating 4 out of 5]

If stereotypes upset you, definitely not a book I would recommend (also very not politically correct ) :D

I enjoyed reading the book, laughed out loud, got frustrated some other times finding myself reflected in the descriptions. A pleasant light reading that made me think, and where I found that love at first sight truly exists (though not how romance books usually picture it).

[Nahla Magdy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative and page-turner. It's not cliche as most books, it's rather scientific and statistically-based. Every chapter is captivating that makes you go from one page to another.You should definitely broaden your knowledge by reading this one.

[Fahri Rasihan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sudah menjadi takdir jika laki-laki dan perempuan diciptakan secara berbeda. Mungkin banyak yang berasumsi jika laki-laki lebih memakai logika, sedangkan perempuan memaki perasaan dalam menghadapi sesuatu. Seperti laki-laki yang lebih menginginkan seks dan perempuan yang membutuhkan cinta. Kenyataan ini memang benar adanya, di mana laki-laki yang hanya sekadar menginginkan seks tanpa ada ikatan emosi apapun. Sementara perempuan membutuhkan ikatan emosi berupa cinta sebelum melakukan hubungan sex. Dua hal inilah yang akan dibahas oleh Allan dan Barbara Pease dalam buku ini. Melalui berbagi penelitian, survei, dan pengalaman pribadi yang mereka temukan, cari, serta alami, pasangan suami-istri ini berhasil menemukan alasan dibalik perbedaan pola pikir laki-laki dan wanita dalam menanggapi sebuah hubungan, khususnya seks dan cinta.

Buku ini sedikit mirip dengan Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus karya John Gray PH.D. Hanya saja dalam Why Men Want Sex and Woman Need Love lebih memfokuskan pembahasannya pada seks dan cinta dalam sebuah hubungan. Isi dalam buku ini bisa dibilang tidak main-main, karena kedua penulisnya berhasil mengumpulkan berbagai penelitian dan survei tentang hubungan, cinta, dan seks antara laki-laki dan perempuan, hasil dari semua penelitian dan survei tersebut mereka rangkum dan tulis bersama pengalaman pribadi mereka. Bahkan di bab pertama buku ini menjelaskan mengapa otak laki-laki dan perempuan berbeda dalam menanggapi sebuah hubungan melalui penelitian ilmiah dan sains yang hasilnya memperkuat perbedaan pola pikir antara laki-laki dan perempuan. Di mana laki-laki berpikir seks hanya sekadar seks tanpa ada ikatan emosi apapun. Sedangkan perempuan perlu ikatan emosi terlebih dahulu jika ingin melakukan hubungan seks.

Pada dasarnya laki-laki hanya ingin melakukan seks dan sekadar hubungan jangka pendek tanpa ikatan emosi apapun. Sudah menjadi naluri alami bagi laki-laki untuk menyebarkan dan memperbanyak keturunannya pada setiap perempuan. Hal pertam yang dilihat laki-laki untuk melakukan hubungan seks dengan perempuan adalah penampilannya. Laki-laki mencari perempuan yang belia, sehat, dan bertubuh seperti jam pasir agar tujuan reproduktifnya bisa terpenuhi. Maka tidak heran jika banyak laki-laki yang lebih suka dengan perempuan muda akibat bawaan dari leluhur mereka. Laki-laki pun tidak keberatan untuk melancarkan gombalan mereka terhadap perempuan untuk mendapatkan seks. Sementara untuk hubungan jangka panjang laki-laki mencari kepribadian, daya tarik, kecerdasan, selera humor, dan bentuk tubuh yang bagus dari seorang perempuan. Sedangkan untuk jangka pendek yang diinginkan laki-laki dari perempuan adalah daya tarik, bentuk tubuh yang bagus, payudara, bokong, dan kepribadian.

Sebaliknya perempuan justru membutuhkan ikatan emosi atau cinta pada saat akan melakukan hubungan seks. Perempuan tergolong lebih sulit untuk melakukan hubungan seks karena mereka perlu diyakinkan terlebih dahulu akan prospek sumber daya yang dimiliki oleh laki-laki tersebut. Yang dicari perempuan dari seorang laki-laki adalah sumber daya dan keamanan. Leluhur mereka mewariskan kehati-hatian dalam mencari sosok laki-laki yang bisa menghidupi dan menjaga perempuan bersama anak-anak mereka. Ini karena tanggung jawab perempuan yang harus mendidik dan membesarkan anak, sehingga mereka harus diyakinkan akan sumber daya yang dimiliki oleh laki-laki bisa menjamin kehidupannya. Selain sumber daya, perempuan juga membutuhkan perhatian dan rasa aman akan cinta yang diberikan laki-laki. Dengan perhatian dan cinta yang diberikan, perempuan akan dengan mudah dan bergairah untuk melakukan hubungan seks. Mungkin banyak bilang jika perempuan itu matre, tapi memang begitu adanya. Ini merupakan naluri mereka untuk melindungi dan membesarkan anak-anak mereka.

Secara keseluruhan Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love memberikan gambaran baru akan hubungan laki-laki dan perempuan yang dilandaskan seks dan cinta. Di mana pandangan antar laki-laki dan perempuan sangat jauh berbeda akan kedua hal tersebut. Menurut penulis hubungan laki-laki dan perempuan bisa diibaratkan seperti pertukaran barang dan jasa. Di mana pria memberikan sumber daya yang mereka miliki, dan perempuan memberikan pelayanan untuk laki-laki. Mungkin pembahasan ini masih terbilang tabu, khususnya di Indonesia, tapi menurut saya pembahasan hubungan laki-laki dan perempuan akan seks dan cinta memang patut dibahas. Lewat buku ini kita akan diberi pencerahan akan sudut pandang masing-masing dari laki-laki dan perempuan. Melalui sudut pandang ini kita akan menjadi lebih mengerti dalam menjalin sebuah hubungan. Pandangan laki-laki dan perempuan akan sex dan cinta memang berbeda, tapi lewat pengertian dan perhatian perbedaan tersebut bisa menyatukan keduanya.

[Seemy · Rating 2 out of 5]

WTF?! Crazy book filled with stereotypical talk and even sexist remarks? (and no it's not because I don't have a sense of humour) so that's saying something

While I gave this book 2 stars - only based on what lil thing I found useful about the book - sharing some scientific research behind some of what the author covered - but really should be 1 star of not ZERO STARS


- really the advice is actually terribly dangerous because the method that is being taught as is based on the idea that YOUR partner can be "this person" just because the research and I say so...( this way ) as in a negative way...


Really? Your most likely will be left panicked and suspicious about your partner and even your self esteem and worth may come into doubt - I honestly don't see what the author tried to achieve here

The book should be renamed as the depressive and negative way it's written... In my opinion anyway because this is just comical

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[Ruben Mes · Rating 2 out of 5]

Entertaining and unexpectedly accurate.

I realize many of the critics can point at the perhaps outdated, traditional values, but I personally believe they are still hardwired and impacting our lives in a back way.

I wish they weren't, but there it is.

This book can be seen as a very accesible introduction to Red Pill ideology.

It agrees mostly with Practical Female Psychology by Franco, except for a couple of minor points I can't recall right now.

I won't really recommend this, but it was still pretty insightful.

I particularly liked the sections about how to know someone is having an affair and how to find someone you actually want (write down specifics and watch those people appear in your life).

That was very helpful in determining what I want and don't want and make a clear decision to end my current relationship.

[Mirabella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Một quyển sách thực tế về tình cảm giữa nam và nữ. Rất thực tế, tình yêu cũng là một cuộc trao đổi, phụ nữ muốn sự chu cấp và chăm sóc còn đàn ông muốn truyền lại bộ gen của mình, càng nhiều càng tốt, theo quá trình tiến hóa của nhân loại. Và hiểu rõ vấn đề là điều cần thiết. K có ai tự nhiên mà yêu. Câu hỏi của m là m muốn gì ở ng đàn ông đó. Chúng ta có dao động cùng tần số không? Ngưu tầm ngưu và mã tầm mã. Tự cải thiện bản thân rồi ng đó sẽ đến theo cách mà b muốn. Quyển sách đầu tiên về tính cảm trong 2019.yeeu chính mình

[Sandra Gallegos · Rating 1 out of 5]

Me he encontrado tal sarta de machismos y prejuicios en las primeras páginas de este libro, que he sido absolutamente incapaz de continuar. Me estaba poniendo enferma, en serio. Era abandonarlo o revolear el ebook, y, teniendo en cuenta que todavía tengo otros muchos libros por leer en el kindle, me he decantado por la primera opción. Aunque ganas no me han faltado de revolear el libro.

[Dung Dao · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, this book provides insights into how biological and social factors affect the perceptions of men and women in selecting their partners, which help readers understand the mechanisms behind our behaviors and start developing themselves into better people for their relationships. Note: be careful to apply the ideas from this book to every specific cases (otherwise you will misunderstand terribly that men are sex-maniac and women are submissive), or generalize the cases around you to be the general truth; also information from this book can be double-checked for validity if you’re unsure.

Some ideas from this book:
- Abilities to listen, assure, cook, and dance make men more attractive to women
- The governments have become the “new husband” which can provide many things for women in need
- Combine the game of number and criteria for selecting partners can be effective
- The demand and motivation for sex in different sex or genders are different
- Women are less sexually aroused since they need to have time to give birth and care for the children
- Many men are attracted by women’s body shapes, and many women are attracted by men’s power and ability to make money
- Historical conditions make men opportunistic: they need to compete for partners and pass down their genes. Since women needs to give birth and care for children, they would historically look for men with the ability to provide for and protect their children
- Modern media makes men and women have unrealistic expectations of the other

[Choki Gyeltshen · Rating 5 out of 5]

The authors of the International Bestseller Book ‘Why Men Don’t Listen & Women Can’t Read Maps’, Allan & Barbara Pease has again written a New International Bestselling book ‘Why Men Want Sex & Women Need Love’. The book distinguishes the sexual desires between the opposite sexes with scientific research and facts. Accentuating the sex in the relationships, it reveals what men and women really want from love and sex and how to have a happy future.

Most men whether married or single think of sex every minute, wherever they are and whenever they see women. Conversely, most women think of love since, for women love and sex are emotionally attached unlike men. Men’s brain is compounded to do one thing at one time whereas women can do many things at a time. In most cases men’s brain can differentiate between sex and love. For men sex is sex and love is love. Sex is hardwired into the men’s brain since the primitive age, where men used to hunt and women used to nurture their children and cook. Sex is hardwired into men’s brain so that, men can spread his gene as wide as possible, to maintain his DNA flow. Men have higher testosterone levels than women and women have higher levels of oestrogen compared to men, these hormones distinguish the sexual drives in human species.

Because women wanted to attract men, there are many cosmetic industries and fashion magazines in the world. When women tend to attract, they have a list of criteria which depends on men’s ability to gather resources and ability to love. Men too have criteria in choosing partner for them that is sex! Most men choose their long term and short term partners depending on their different criterion for short term and long term relationships. For short term relation obviously it is sex and for long term relation, men needs a decent, motherly, caring, loving woman who can satisfy them on bed. Women need love and resources from men.


It is very important for women to understand men and handle him accordingly and it is equally important for men not to understand women but show love and handle accordingly. The biggest turn on for women isn't the sex but the sight of a man cooking dinner, doing the dishes, feeding the kids and putting his dirty clothes in the laundry. To have a good relationship, discuss problems somewhere neutral at agreed time and understand the differences of men and women. Men and women are different. Not better, not worse, just different.

[J Jahir · Rating 3 out of 5]

libro que como ensayo de investigación sirve y puede ser curioso para los que quieran saber algo de este tema. hubo datos que me dejaron algo sorprendido, como por ejemplo lo mencionado en el reinado de la reina Victoria (1837-1901), ahora ´se de dónde viene tanto pudor y temor a hablar sobre la sexualidad de manera más abierta. El único pero que le puedo encontrar al mismo es que es generalizado, basados en estudios de la ciencia y la experimentación propias que varían entre lo que ellos experimentaron e investigaban, así como de bibliografía de sexólogos e investigadores, biólogos y sexólogos (inclusive se cita a la antropóloga Hellen fisher, que tiene un libro llamado la anatomía del amor y realizó grandes estudios en torno a este tema). sin embargo, es más que nada un libro con datos duros, con premisas como "el hombre no puede conjuntar el sexo y el amor porque los ve como algo separados; el hombre busca que la mujer le proporcione servicios como si ellos estuvieran pagando por estos al estar en pareja; puede que acepte cosas como que el hombre produce más testosterona porque es más hormonal y eso es verdad, pero sí hay cositas que aquí se plantean que sólo hace que se vea a los hombres y mujeres como algo encasillado, dentro de sus supuestos roles. "eso debe de ser así porque la ciencia lo dice". Pues siempre hay pequeñas excepciones, desde luego.
Igual no deja de ser interesante, nos da un vistazo respecto de algunas diferencias que nosotros hemos llegado a percibir al estar en convivencia, y sí estoy de acuerdo en bastantes cosas también. Sé, por ejemplo, que las mujeres suelen darle un poco más de importancia a las relaciones y se la toman muy en serio, sé por qué esas diferencias y discusiones en cuestiones comunes pero que por falta de comunicación adecuada se truena o no va algo bien en la pareja, que en el caso de la infidelidad o las aventuras la mujer es más discreta que los hombres... a mí por lo menos, en el tema de aventuras o sexo casual, nah. no van conmigo. en fin, queda que lo lean para que manifiesten su propio criterio del mismo.

[Fernanda La Salye · Rating 3 out of 5]

Homens e mulheres são e reagem de forma diferente, o que torna o seu convívio difícil, muitas vezes áspero e gerador de ressentimentos. Mas quais são as razões dessas diferenças é até que ponto elas podem ser superadas? Como aprender a lidar com elas e administrá-las para sermos felizes em nossos relacionamentos com o outro sexo? Barbara e Allan Pease percorreram vários países e consultaram dezenas de cientistas para preparar este livro sobre as diferenças e os modos de pensar e agir de homens e mulheres. Investigaram as surpreendentes conclusões das últimas pesquisas sobre o cérebro, investigaram a Biologia Evolutiva, analisaram trabalhos de psicólogos, observando as transformações sociais e entrevistando centenas de pessoas. O resultado está neste livro que oferece um instrumento importante para, ao verificar e compreender as diferenças, estabelecer uma relação harmoniosa entre homens e mulheres, seja no casamento, na vida profissional, na forma de educar os filhos ou em qualquer campo do relacionamento humano.

[Stasy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Это одна из тех книг, про которые можно сказать "Начали за здравие, а кончили за упокой". Первые несколько глав были интересными, открывали много нового, но начиная с середины повествование стало "жидким". Новая информвция почти отсутствовала, постоянно присутствовали идентичные с другими главами абзацы из разряда copy-paste, что было не очень приятным и испортило впечатление о книге. Казалось, что авторам нечего сказать, но при этом установлено количество необходимых страниц, и они решили написать хоть что-то, для уоличества. Поэтому только 2 звезды, хотя когда начинала читать, хотела поставить оценку на порядок выше.

[Vladimir · Rating 3 out of 5]

Generally, this book does not describe anything new. Authors simply systematize all known knowledge. Although, they do it well. The book consists of many useful advices about human relationships. If you read this, you will get a good experience for building a strong relationships. In whole, you can understand the opposite sex better.
In the end I want to quote very good words: "Men and women are different. We are not better or worse than each other. We are just different!".

[Bianca · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ik heb het boek uiteindelijk niet helemaal uitgelezen. Er stond eigenlijk geen nieuws in en ik moest er meer om lachen, bijna uitlachen, dan dat ik er van leerde. Nadat het boek meer dan een jaar op mijn currently reading list stond heb ik het er maar afgehaald. Erg jammer want andere boeken van hen (vooral die over waarom vrouwen schoenen kopen...) vond ik wel goed. Dit boek was echter een tegenvaller.

[Juliette (Ladybug) · Rating 5 out of 5]

buku ini bagus sekali, mengisahkan isi kepala dn kemauan laki-laki pada perempuan, dan mengisahkan perbedaan sex laki-laki dan perempuan

kalian must read!

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

voy a decir las razones por las cuales opino que es una basura de libro:

- Nombra muchos datos sacados de estudios o investigaciones sin nombrar autores ni nada. Las REFERENCIAS?? dime las referencias y si eso me lo creeré.
- Se basa mucho en cosas biológicas y en genética, para explicar cosas del amor o de la vida. No tiene en cuenta otros factores o la evolución de las preferencias y cambios de pensamiento.
- Cambia de tema muy rápido. Hay minicapitulos. Y es como que no acaba de contar nada o dice muchas cosas diferentes en un mismo capítulo. Muchas veces los capítulos intenta dividirlo en mini secciones pero acaba diciendo lo mismo en todas y cada una de las secciones. Encima muchas veces es un discurso muy vacío.
- Está bien porque habla de cosas interesantes sobre el amor, la atracción etc (a nivel biológico y psicológico) pero no sé hasta que punto creerme las cosas que dice a nivel social porque parecen sacadas de bajo de su manga.
- Literalmente todo lo que dice se basa en ESTEREOTIPOS, especialmente sobre las mujeres, como que queremos alguien que nos proporcione cobijo y comida y nos encanta usar su dinero para comprar ropa.
- Es muy MISÓGINO y habla basándose en estereotipos. dice que los hombres a partir de la década de los 60 lo tienen difícil porque desde ahí las mujeres empezaron a exigir más de los hombres (sentimientos, comprensión, cariño) no como antes que solo pedían que le abrieran la puerta y trajeran el dinero a casa.
- También dice que los hombres ahora se comportan más como “machos” porque llevaban muchos años reprimiéndose y ahora están sacando otra vez su naturaleza biológica que es ir a bares, gritar, hablar de coches etc.
- Dice que la mayoría de profesoras son mujeres y no educan en como pelearse, escoger líderes, que es lo predeterminado en el género masculino.
- No se FUNDAMENTA en nada wtf?!?!! dice “las mujeres quieren recursos, alguien que les traiga la comida y el dinero y además que tengan tableta, buenos hombros y buenos brazos”. basándote en?????? encima es que lo dice como “todas las mujeres quieren esto” . en que se fundamenta???? en una parte literalmente se fundamenta en los MONOS diciendo que hay estudios en los que un chimpancé cuando ofrecía plátanos a otras chimpancés, copulaban el doble de veces. De esos estudios si que pone referencias (que no he comprobado que sean ciertas) pero las cosas que relaciona con las MUJERES, literalmente ni un fundamento, solo su OPINIÓN .
- Se fundamenta en un estudio de 1930!!!!? normal que ahí las mujeres quisieran a sus maridos por sus recursos, si las mujeres literalmente no tenían ni derechos.
- También dice que los hombres no muestran amor con palabras o con cariño físico porque su forma de expresar el amor es encargándose de la casa con cosas como arreglar bombillas??!!
- Pinta a las mujeres de SERES INERTES que solo quieren recursos, y un hombre con el que copular para tener hijos porque les encanta tener HIJOS y CUIDAR de las personas y LIMPIAR la casa 😍
- Pinta a los hombres como que solo quieren sexo y no tienen nada de sentimientos
- Paso hojas porque repite lo mismo todo el rato. Cuando habla de un tema, en cada capítulo lo intenta dividir en secciones pero es que cada sección explica lo mismo (las mismas MENTIRAS).
- No sé de donde ha sacado esta info pero me parece super falsa: los hombres adolescentes piensan en sexo una vez cada 11 segundos.
- Resumen del libro: mujeres dan servicios y sexo y hombres dan recursos. mujeres buscan recursos y hombres servicio y sexo.
No para de repetir las palabras recursos y sexo.
- Denigra un montón a las mujeres dios mío estoy segura que el autor está súper soltero y nunca ha estado con una mujer por eso expresa tanto odio a las mujeres.
- Se pasa la mayor parte del libro hablando de los hombres y de consejos a las mujeres para conocerlos más. Pero se centra muy poco en lo que le interesa a las mujeres.
- Dice que las mujeres buscan a hombres 3-5 años más mayores porque tienen mas recursos ?? No serán porque son mas maduros que los de su misma edad (o ni eso)
- Hace comparaciones horribles sobre el acoso sexual y comentarios fuera de lugar sobre cómo se sienten las mujeres en una agresión sexual
- También dice que a los hombres les gustaría que una mujer les acosase sexualmente porque así la mujer les rozaría su cuerpo contra el suyo(cosa que “les pondría mucho”)
- Y por último, incluye un supuesto cuestionario para saber si tu pareja te merece que ni si quiera se lee porque está borroso.