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In Sickness, in Health ... and in Jail: What Happened When My Husband Unexpectedly Went to Prison for Two Years
'So why did you marry Dad?. my daughter asked. 'Well, over time I got to know him and he made me laugh, and ...and I knew deep down that, that ...even though we were really different ...he was a good person.' Without skipping a beat, she said, 'He.s not that good, he.s in jail!'..After fourteen years of marriage, Mel Jacob's life looked as perfect as the roses perched above her white picket fence. The nice house in the suburbs, two great kids, a good husband. Until ...Her life took an unexpected detour when her seemingly saintly husband was jailed for two years. In Sickness, in Health ...and in Jail follows Mel's funny, moving and insightful journey as she navigates single parenthood, prison visitations and nosy neighbours...Mel's revealing account is the story of the family left behind. It chronicles the grief, the stigma and the conversational minefields of her husband's whereabouts, as well as the logistical problems of making a baby sibling for her two children, and why it's not appropriate to tell people that Daddy's in jail...In Sickness, in Health ...and in Jail is a funny and touching account of grief and love and forgiveness...
- GenresBiographyNonfiction
304 pages, Paperback
Published January 1, 2016
3 people are currently reading
88 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
September 26, 2016
I wrote the kind of book that I like to read. A book with heart, humour and raw honesty. Writing is my offering to the world.
December 26, 2016
I asked for this book as a Christmas gift after hearing Mel interviewed by Richard Fidler. The book is so readable and I enjoyed every moment of it.
We all have a different journey and often times it is these unexpected twists and turns that make us appreciate the richness and absurdity of life.
Thank you for sharing your story. Highly recommended read.
We all have a different journey and often times it is these unexpected twists and turns that make us appreciate the richness and absurdity of life.
Thank you for sharing your story. Highly recommended read.
July 8, 2018
In Sickness, In Health…And In Jail was a christmas gift from hubby after he heard Mel Jacob being interviewed on the radio, he thought the book sounded intriguing and had a hunch I might enjoy reading it. And the verdict: Yes, I did enjoy it and found the book to be a fascinating read.
Mel Jacobs gives a brutally honest, raw and moving account of her husbands two year incarceration and how she tackles family life without her husband.
I loved Mel Jacob’s writing - humorous, sad, and a lot of heart. Patrick’s letters to Mel were quite entertaining and some of them had me laughing out loud and the kids were quite cute and funny at times.
Will I read more books similar to this one? I’m not sure, just the mere mention of the prison, legal and justice system galls me as too many people have been let down by these institutions. Patrick received a harsh sentence for a seemingly minor crime. Most unfair.
I must add that I absolutely love the cover and the title with all its pink prettiness, for that reason on first inspection to me they suggested a more humorous tone, hinting at a lighter read, therefore the heart-rending story was a little unexpected.
#Book Bingo 2018: ‘A Memoir’ - In Sickness, In Health… And In Jail by Mel Jacob
Mel Jacobs gives a brutally honest, raw and moving account of her husbands two year incarceration and how she tackles family life without her husband.
I loved Mel Jacob’s writing - humorous, sad, and a lot of heart. Patrick’s letters to Mel were quite entertaining and some of them had me laughing out loud and the kids were quite cute and funny at times.
Will I read more books similar to this one? I’m not sure, just the mere mention of the prison, legal and justice system galls me as too many people have been let down by these institutions. Patrick received a harsh sentence for a seemingly minor crime. Most unfair.
I must add that I absolutely love the cover and the title with all its pink prettiness, for that reason on first inspection to me they suggested a more humorous tone, hinting at a lighter read, therefore the heart-rending story was a little unexpected.
#Book Bingo 2018: ‘A Memoir’ - In Sickness, In Health… And In Jail by Mel Jacob
September 24, 2016
Just can't recommend this book highly enough. Great writing and great story.
It's a memoir of a family's experiences when the husband was incarcerated - unexpectedly, for an apparently minor offence. The author adeptly takes you through the feelings as well as the practicalities; the contrast between what we all imagine happens in prison and the reality.
I'm awed that they had the courage to share their story with the world....and I'm glad they did.
It's a memoir of a family's experiences when the husband was incarcerated - unexpectedly, for an apparently minor offence. The author adeptly takes you through the feelings as well as the practicalities; the contrast between what we all imagine happens in prison and the reality.
I'm awed that they had the courage to share their story with the world....and I'm glad they did.
September 3, 2016
I was privileged to read earlier incarnations of Mel's book and the final product has strengthened and intensified so much. I laughed, I cried, I nodded along with Mel as she recounts the journey she and her family have taken after her husband's conviction and incarceration. (I also read it in one sitting ask didn't want to put it down.)
This isn't just a story of what happened to her, but a reminder of how life can turn upside down in an instant, that you never know others' whole stories, and how relationships need intricate attention.
Mel has a beautiful outlook on life, even after doubting it, and travelling along with her as she shares her story was both emotional and inspiring.
This isn't just a story of what happened to her, but a reminder of how life can turn upside down in an instant, that you never know others' whole stories, and how relationships need intricate attention.
Mel has a beautiful outlook on life, even after doubting it, and travelling along with her as she shares her story was both emotional and inspiring.
September 20, 2017
Refreshingly honest account of a marriage, a family and the NSW Correctional Services system. I already knew Mel was a talented, witty writer and storyteller, and now I know that she is stronger and braver than I ever imagined. Thanks for having the courage to share this story Mel.
Looking forward to reading your next book.
Looking forward to reading your next book.
December 28, 2016
I thought this was fabulous and gripping with so many unexpected turns. There's a great insight here into the capricious and frightening nature of the jail system - and the courage needed to be either an inmate or a family member, but there is also a compelling account of what happens when a family is put under the pressure-test of jail.
October 28, 2016
It's not often that I am able to read a mainstream non-fiction book in which I have a connection to the characters involved, in this case a number of 'second degree' links with the author, some that I wasn't expecting (via a high school friend somehow). Although I'm not sure I would have picked this up otherwise, I think it's great to have this book out there. It's easy to dismiss the difficulties of those in prison, so when a nearly innocent person is incarcerated, their story highlights the broader plight of those improsoned. In this case, a number of issues are raised - the unfairness of the sentencing system, the social inequity which stacks the odds against the underprivileged, the indignity with which prisoners are treated and the stigma we retain toward those associated with 'criminals'. Aside from the means of transport, are we managing criminals any better now than when we brought the convicts here? It's not that crime shouldn't have consequence, but it seems we have lost clarity on the how and why.
But the main story here is the impact incarceration has on loved ones, children and partners (the author in this case) left isolated by the imprisonment of dads/husbands. It's hard work. Mel gives some some raw insights into this. The estrangement of kids and partners that results from separation and the struggle to overcome this. The battle to reach reconciliation with those changed by the brutality of their environment. And the internal struggle to accept suffering that is not of ones own making - something we all have to work through at some point and on some level.
I enjoyed the way humour and sadness were balanced, along with the mix of home and inside stories (from letters), although the final chapters seemed to skip through the months much faster than the introductory ones. Perhaps this reflects some of the more difficult, but 'duller' times (similar to the grieving process) which didn't require every days detail and is adequately captured despite the time gaps. Regardless, the willingness to share and the special perspective given, makes this a recommended read. And on a personal note, I hope the recovery and renewed vocation (writing) continues.
But the main story here is the impact incarceration has on loved ones, children and partners (the author in this case) left isolated by the imprisonment of dads/husbands. It's hard work. Mel gives some some raw insights into this. The estrangement of kids and partners that results from separation and the struggle to overcome this. The battle to reach reconciliation with those changed by the brutality of their environment. And the internal struggle to accept suffering that is not of ones own making - something we all have to work through at some point and on some level.
I enjoyed the way humour and sadness were balanced, along with the mix of home and inside stories (from letters), although the final chapters seemed to skip through the months much faster than the introductory ones. Perhaps this reflects some of the more difficult, but 'duller' times (similar to the grieving process) which didn't require every days detail and is adequately captured despite the time gaps. Regardless, the willingness to share and the special perspective given, makes this a recommended read. And on a personal note, I hope the recovery and renewed vocation (writing) continues.
November 24, 2016
An extremely well-written tale of difficult and desperate times. Mel Jacob has a flair for punchy prose.
September 19, 2018
On one level this is a deeply personal account of what happened to one family with young children when their husband and father made a foolish mistake and ended up in jail for 4 years. The author is not only candid and generous, she's also very self-aware, and aware of the impact on her children, and I felt that her observations could be very helpful to any other families dealing with this.
On another level, it was also a stinging indictment of the legal and penal system in Australia today: the attitudes of undercover cops badgering people to break the law in order to get a conviction, the blase and impersonal attitudes of hideously expensive legal counsel, the appalling state of holding cells in prisons which sounded more like those of the third world country, the mixing of hard core criminals in some cases with those who'd make mistakes and genuinely wanted to reform leading to PTSD in some prisoners, the nasty attitudes of some correctional officers towards prisoners and their families as they enjoyed messing with their minds and the overwhelming impact on the psychological development of the children. This story has a happy ending, more or less, as the awareness and growth of the family leads towards a gradual healing, but I suspect this is often not the case. This was not only a strong personal story, but a disclosure of injustice and it's a narrative that needs a wider audience.
On another level, it was also a stinging indictment of the legal and penal system in Australia today: the attitudes of undercover cops badgering people to break the law in order to get a conviction, the blase and impersonal attitudes of hideously expensive legal counsel, the appalling state of holding cells in prisons which sounded more like those of the third world country, the mixing of hard core criminals in some cases with those who'd make mistakes and genuinely wanted to reform leading to PTSD in some prisoners, the nasty attitudes of some correctional officers towards prisoners and their families as they enjoyed messing with their minds and the overwhelming impact on the psychological development of the children. This story has a happy ending, more or less, as the awareness and growth of the family leads towards a gradual healing, but I suspect this is often not the case. This was not only a strong personal story, but a disclosure of injustice and it's a narrative that needs a wider audience.
June 4, 2018
Ugh, this book has all the things in a memoir I love, real blood and guts of human emotion, an interesting story that moves the book along, and a strong female voice; but it has soooo many typos it was annoying. Sometimes they were minor and barely registered but there were plenty that made me reread sentences to be able to keep track of the train of thought. I still recommend it because Mel Jacobs wrote this with brutal honesty that at times astonished me. I read memoirs regularly but this one felt more honest than I’ve come to expect. It’s too bad the editing wasn’t better because I would have given more stars.
April 14, 2018
After a slow start this story became compelling. A white collar crime began a spell in prison for the author’s husband. This is a sad indictment of the prison system in Australia - rehabilitation doesn’t ever seem to be a goal. It also revealed the stress the family of an inmate experiences and the terrible impact it has on the prisoner himself. And this is someone who has a supportive family and a comfortable home to return to. What hope is there for the rest?
September 23, 2017
I loved this book!
Kept me wanting to go on and on.
Happy, sad, funny. A book I was sorry to have to finish, but glad to have read.
I definitely recommend it.
Not a challenge to read, just lovely and honest.
Kept me wanting to go on and on.
Happy, sad, funny. A book I was sorry to have to finish, but glad to have read.
I definitely recommend it.
Not a challenge to read, just lovely and honest.
June 3, 2018
what a powerful story. makes you realise that we could all be in this position. a wonderful true and honest account of how a decision can change your life and the lives of those around you. a great read
December 9, 2017
What a great read. I laughed and I cried even when I was reading this book in public! Looking forward to hearing Mel at Tamworth library next March.
August 11, 2019
Too long and drawn out to be a book, would have been much more interesting as a 4-6 page article in a magazine.
May 8, 2020
Really disappointing
May 13, 2021
I loved this book - heart-rendingly frank, witty, engagingly written.
February 8, 2017
This book was amazing and I thank Mel Jacob for telling her personal story.
November 18, 2016
Mel, if you're out there in Goodreads-land, congratulations on both the writing and making it through such an unusual and challenging experience. I laughed when I could hear the tone of your voice in places, and tears came to my eyes with some of those heartbreaking moments. Thank you for sharing.
September 10, 2016
Brilliant writing.
November 30, 2016
At times, while reading this book, I felt like I was eavesdropping. This is a brave, intimate and moving account of a "nightmare" in a young family's life.
December 6, 2016
What a gut-wrenching read. Mel's ability to balance poignancy and wit, utilise such well chosen allusions, and control voice and structure is extraordinary. Looking forward to the next publication.
December 26, 2016
Candid, funny+easy read.
November 27, 2019
Lisa bookclub 2020
August 8, 2020
Good read on a real life family situation. If someone gets sent to prison
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews