Advice from a Wild Deuce: The Best of Ask Tiggy

by Tiggy Upland

Quirky and extraordinary Tiggy Upland, the Wild Deuce, shares the best of her Ask Tiggy advice column for and about bisexuals. She guides people from all walks of life, in various stages of living authentically in between gay and straight. Tiggy’s responses on sexuality are as direct as they are compassionate, with more than a hint of her bizarre personality.

Beyond her advice column favorites, Advice from a Wild Deuce offers other treasures, from specific tips for coming out as a bisexual to amusing snippets of her bisexual webcomic, performance scripts, and more. Never has an essential LGBT resource been so thoroughly entertaining.

Genres: Queer, Nonfiction, Bisexual

162 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 21, 2016

Reviews

[Ann Herendeen · Rating 5 out of 5]

What's the best part of any newspaper or magazine? The advice column, of course. And what's the best kind of advice column? A sex advice column. If you're tired of Dan Savage's biphobia (I know, he got better, but still) and if you'd like something more real than Penthouse Forum, Jen Bonardi's Advice From a Wild Deuce : the Best of Tiggy Upland might be what you're looking for.

Before I'm deluged with emails and comments (I wish!) let me say that a bisexual advice column isn't all about sex. And before the rest of you protest that you're not bisexual so why should you care: if you're not bi, you undoubtedly know someone who is. Besides, you probably don't have all the issues that people write in to other advice columnists about (at least I hope you don't) but isn't it fun to read about them?

A lot of work and planning went into this e-book. The selected queries and responses are organized into themes, from the basics of labels and identities, on through coming out and relationships. There is a linked table of contents, and links throughout to the text to a Resources section at the back. As a librarian and often-frustrated reader, I would give the book five stars for these features alone.

Advice from a Wild Deuce is a lot more than a collection of answered letters. Bonardi is also a writer, comedian and performer who has appeared at the annual Bilicious show in Boston and, as her "Wild Deuce" alter ego Tiggy Upland, wrote the "Ask Tiggy" column on the Bisexual Resource Center's webpage. She also has a webcomic ("Upland") and a project on Tumblr and Twitter, "a year’s worth of bisexual cultural signposts" ("You Might Be a Bisexual"). The book includes interviews, graphics, and excerpts from the other projects, including some of Bonardi's comedy routines, and an epilogue with a biography of Tiggy herself.

Like any successful advice columnist, Bondardi/Upland is witty, sexy, and a very fine writer. But most important, she is also deeply sympathetic and humane. She never loses sight of her questioners as vulnerable human beings in need of comfort and support.

Part of me wishes we didn't need this book anymore. Unfortunately, people are still being bullied, assaulted and murdered for their perceived sexual and gender identities; and young people especially are still struggling with the pressure to conform, even within the LGBT community. Perhaps the most essential advice is stated early and reemphasized throughout the book: any label, including bisexual, is meaningful only if self-chosen, and if it feels right.

Even if all of society's prejudice and injustice disappeared overnight, relationships are difficult for everybody. Do yourself and your friends and families a favor, and buy this book. But don't just take my advice for it. I'll close with a couple of quotes from the "You Might be a Bisexual" project.

"If someone says, 'Which superpower would you rather have: invisibility or--' and you interrupt loudly with 'overrated,' you might be a bisexual."

"If your coming out is met with a demand for proof, you might be a bisexual."

[Lance Eaton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I openly admit that I am biased in reviewing this book because I am close with the actual author (spoiler alert—Tiggy Upland is a pseudonym!). Regardless, I found this book to be a fantastic dialogue on the subject of understanding bisexuality (my own, and others). Upland pulls together the best questions from her advice column to provide a panoramic view of what it means to be a bisexual in the United States in the 21st century. She’s great at taking on personal questions and drawing out the nuance issues present and parsing out specific advice to the person while also connecting the question to the larger tapestry of navigating bisexuality in a culture that still doesn’t appreciate or provide much room for it. What’s more is that Upland’s tone is bemusing, sagely, and engaging. She’s capable of calling out self-deceit in a way that doesn’t turn the reader away but rather endears them to her and to the letter-writer. Beyond the question and answer format that permeates much of the book, Upland includes various asides, resources, and even photo-comics that add more nuggets of wisdom. For those looking to understand the complexity of bisexuality for personal or professional reasons, this book is a great resource.

[Christine mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very helpful read for any bisexual trying to find their place in queer spaces.