I started reading this book somewhat grudgingly and after a tumultuous ride on a journey with the author, I came to this. It describes the author's confusion about whether God is personal or impersonal and how one day Srila Prabhupada removed his confusion. I had the same confusion regarding the nature of the divine and this removed my confusion as well. But unlike the author, I lean towards striving to attain the divine as impersonal through meditation. I will always remember this book for this section which inspired me to resume my spiritual quest.
"For some time, I had been troubled by a fundamental philosophical dispute over whether God was ultimately impersonal or personal. On the one hand, I had heard some yogis and philosophers profess that ultimately God is impersonal and formless, but that he accepts a temporary material form as an avatara when He descends into the world for the benefit of all beings. After accomplishing His mission, He again merges into His formless existence. All form and personality, according to the impersonalists, is a nonpermanent product of material illusion. In the final state of liberation, the soul sheds its temporary identity and becomes one with God, merging into the all-pervading spiritual existence.
On the other hand, I had heard other yogis and philosophers profess that God is the Supreme Person, that His spiritual form is eternal, full of knowledge and bliss. At the time of liberation, the soul enters into the kingdom of God where it eternally serves the all-beautiful Personality of God in pure love.
I often pondered this apparent contradiction. How could they both be correct? God must ultimately be one or the other. Either He must be ultimately impersonal or personal. Out of respect for my beloved teachers, it had been difficult for me to think that any of them were wrong. Some attacked the opposing point of view while others refrained from argument by keeping the subject vague. I found that many spiritual teachings were similar until they came to this point.
What is the goal I should aspire to? I wondered. Should I strive to transcend dualities to become one with an impersonal, formless God? Or should I strive to purify my heart to serve a personal Lord with unconditional love in His eternal abode?
One afternoon, a guest asked Srila Prabhupada this very question. “Is God formless and impersonal or does He have form and personality?” The chattering of birds, screeching of monkeys, and honking of distant rickshaw horns were silenced by the anticipation in my heart. I sat up with attention, eager to hear his answer. Srila Prabhupada slowly leaned forward, his face perfectly relaxed and full lips curved downward at the edges. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, his elbows rested on the low table in front of him and his hands were clasped together under his chin. With a grave gaze, he quoted from the Vedas and explained, “We must first understand the inconceivable nature of God. The Supreme Lord is simultaneously personal and impersonal. It is an eternal truth that He is both formless and that He has an eternal, blissful form.”
I felt a warm, peaceful sensation flood my chest. With one hand Srila Prabhupada stretched his index finger upward. “The Lord’s impersonal, all-pervading energy is called Brahman. And Bhagavan is the personal form of God, who is the energetic source and never under the influence of illusion. Take for example the sun. The form of the sun as a planet and the formless sunlight can never be separated, as they exist simultaneously. They are different aspects of the sun. Similarly, there are two different schools of transcendentalists who focus on different aspects of the one truth. The impersonalists strive to attain liberation in the Lord’s impersonal, formless light, while the personalists strive for eternal loving service to the Lord’s all-attractive form. There is no contradiction.
“Similarly, the soul is part and parcel of the Lord, simultaneously one with God and different from God. Qualitatively we are one with God, being eternal, full of knowledge, and full of bliss. But quantitatively, we are always but a part, just as the sunray is but a tiny part of the sun and yet has the same qualities as the sun. We are both one with God and different from God. God is the independent controller, but when the soul misuses his God-given independence, he forgets his relation to the Lord and falls into illusion and subsequent suffering.”
Leaning back against the wall, he tilted his head slightly and gazed directly into my eyes. “The two schools, personalists and impersonalists, both approach different aspects of the One God.” He went on to explain how Krishna, His form, qualities, personality, and abode were unlimited, and that all the true religions of the world worshipped the same One God. He had simply revealed Himself in different ways at different times.
How beautiful. With these simple and intelligent words, Srila Prabhupada had harmonized two apparently opposing views. As I listened to him, tears of appreciation welled up in my eyes. Yes, now it all makes so much sense, I thought. A dilemma that had confused my progress was now completely removed. A spontaneous, joyous smile stretched across my face. Srila Prabhupada reciprocated with a smile, too, one endowed with both wisdom and serenity."