My Rating:
4.5
Favorite Quotes:
She is so beautiful that ‘beating them off with a stick’ isn’t going to cut it when she’s older. Peter and I are going to have to keep her in a smooth-sided cloud-high tower surrounded by a team of elite ninjas.
‘Mommy! Come and wipe my butt!’ Knowing better than to ignore a demand when Violet’s wearing the tiara, I race to the bathroom to find her in downward dog, bottom offered toward the sky. There’s poop on the seat, the sink, her butt, her hands, the floor; I think I even see some on one of the pink bits of the tiara.
Like I’m going to return to that library ever again. Even if the zombie apocalypse was upon us and the library was the only fortified structure in town, I’d rather risk my entire family becoming zombie hamburgers than enter through those swinging doors ever again. Time for Twos and I are done.
That was almost a decade ago. Somehow seems longer. Actually, it counts as about half a century when you factor in parenting years. Parenting years, of course, being like dog years: you just age faster.
Besides, the fact that I flat-out fail the pencil test these days is reason enough to conceal my body from anyone who isn’t legally contracted not to run away from it.
My Review:
As the breadwinner of the family, when Amy lost her job the whole family went off the rails. She was forced to become acquainted with her demanding, precocious, and manipulative pre-school aged children and discovers that she is completely lacking in parenting skills. Her early attempts were lame and abysmal at best - before she gave up and gave in. I smirked, snorted, laughed aloud, and snickered as a read this mirth filled missive of a clueless career woman coming face to face with her prickly, lazy, irresponsible, and tantrum-prone family - and I mean all of them were obnoxious the majority of the time, Amy and husband in particular - but then, we all have our moments. As the stress of being at home and without income continues to mount, Amy becomes more and more desperate and impulsively makes risky decisions and many missteps that could be the end of everything or a new beginning. Ms. Franken’s writing was wickedly witty, clever, and stealthfully insightful.