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Misunderstood: The Impact of Growing Up Overseas in the 21st Century
Over 200 million people currently live abroad; more than 50 million are temporary residents, intending to return to their country of origin. Misunderstood explores the impact international life can have on the children of such families – while they live overseas, when they return, and as they mature into adults. Similarities in their shared experiences (regardless of the different countries in which they have lived) create a safe space of comfort and understanding. Tanya Crossman introduces this space – the Third Culture – through the personal stories of hundreds of individuals. Whether you grew up overseas, are raising children overseas, or know a family living abroad, Misunderstood will equip you with insights into the international experience, along with practical suggestions for how to offer meaningful care and support.
Kindle Edition
First published August 15, 2016
66 people are currently reading
452 people want to read
About the author
Tanya Crossman
3 books4 followersTanya Crossman is passionate about building bridges of understanding between Third Culture Kids (TCKs) and those who care for them. She has mentored hundreds of teenage and young adult TCKs over the past 18 years. She travels to speak to educators, counsellors, parents, and students worldwide.
Tanya grew up in Sydney and Canberra, Australia, and lived in Connecticut, USA for two years of high school. She moved to China independently at age 21, where a study year turned into 14 years abroad (including 6 months in Cambodia). Tanya has been through repatriation three times – as a teenager and twice as an adult. She was locked out of China during the pandemic, and is currently based in Australia while working through the immigration process to join her husband in the US.
Tanya received a bachelor’s degree in Asian Studies (Chinese) from the Australian National University, a diploma in Mandarin Chinese from Beijing Language and Culture University, and a Masters of Divinity from the Australian College of Theology. She worked several bilingual jobs in China before choosing to work with TCKs full time in 2010. She has coordinated over 35 camps and conferences for teenage TCKs in China and Cambodia, and worked with groups in 10+ countries on four continents.
Tanya grew up in Sydney and Canberra, Australia, and lived in Connecticut, USA for two years of high school. She moved to China independently at age 21, where a study year turned into 14 years abroad (including 6 months in Cambodia). Tanya has been through repatriation three times – as a teenager and twice as an adult. She was locked out of China during the pandemic, and is currently based in Australia while working through the immigration process to join her husband in the US.
Tanya received a bachelor’s degree in Asian Studies (Chinese) from the Australian National University, a diploma in Mandarin Chinese from Beijing Language and Culture University, and a Masters of Divinity from the Australian College of Theology. She worked several bilingual jobs in China before choosing to work with TCKs full time in 2010. She has coordinated over 35 camps and conferences for teenage TCKs in China and Cambodia, and worked with groups in 10+ countries on four continents.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
March 10, 2020
A whole range of emotions came as I read this book. It's not a "here's how you be a successful TCK" (third-culture kid) book, but an honest look into the feelings of TCKs (missionary kids, military kids, business kids, etc.). It deals with issues that I've been aware of but not quite put into words. I've often felt guilty for feeling how I did because England doesn't have as many huge differences from America as it would be moving to another country. But the author never discounted any feelings that a place or person evoked in her conversations with TCKs. It is a real thing and I appreciate this honest, non biased book. It must be read with the same mindset, understanding the confusion, anxiety, loneliness, fears, and goodbyes that come with living overseas.
Whether or not you've experienced the TCK lifestyle, it's important we gain understanding and compassion for other people lives...most of the time not to give advice, but to just listen with a heart of love. And as believers, I pray we will be even more caring!
Whether or not you've experienced the TCK lifestyle, it's important we gain understanding and compassion for other people lives...most of the time not to give advice, but to just listen with a heart of love. And as believers, I pray we will be even more caring!
October 5, 2016
Being a TCK myself, I was pleased to find that at the end of nearly 400 pages of interwoven vignettes, anecdotes, personal quotes, context information, and definitions, Tanya has presented a balanced perspective of what it means to live as a TCK in Misunderstood. Tanya extends past the quantifiable measures of countries lived in and number of moves to the feelings and thoughts a TCK carries with him or her.
Tanya’s book lends value to TCK literature through its diversity of narratives. Instead of rehashing foundational TCK concepts, Tanya broadens the conversation by including quotes and vignettes from individuals who traditionally fell outside the original definitions of a TCK geographically. This diversity adds to richness to our understanding of the collective TCK identity.
Not only does Tanya broaden the geographic narrative, but she also focuses on new groups of TCKs. These groups may fit better within Ruth van Reken’s recently developed Cross-Cultural Kid (CCK) framework. This leaves room for change and adaptations that allow us to apply old understandings in new ways.
At the beginning of her book, Tanya identifies the intended audience as TCKs, families of TCKs, or caregivers of TCKs. I am confident Tanya has included something in her book for everyone, whether or not they identify with one of those categories. Boundaries continue to blur in globalization, and elements of the TCK identity are becoming more and more relevant. Whether you are a TCK or may interact with a TCK in the future, Misunderstood provides an excellent framework to begin understanding.
Tanya’s book lends value to TCK literature through its diversity of narratives. Instead of rehashing foundational TCK concepts, Tanya broadens the conversation by including quotes and vignettes from individuals who traditionally fell outside the original definitions of a TCK geographically. This diversity adds to richness to our understanding of the collective TCK identity.
Not only does Tanya broaden the geographic narrative, but she also focuses on new groups of TCKs. These groups may fit better within Ruth van Reken’s recently developed Cross-Cultural Kid (CCK) framework. This leaves room for change and adaptations that allow us to apply old understandings in new ways.
At the beginning of her book, Tanya identifies the intended audience as TCKs, families of TCKs, or caregivers of TCKs. I am confident Tanya has included something in her book for everyone, whether or not they identify with one of those categories. Boundaries continue to blur in globalization, and elements of the TCK identity are becoming more and more relevant. Whether you are a TCK or may interact with a TCK in the future, Misunderstood provides an excellent framework to begin understanding.
June 11, 2017
Initial thoughts: It's a strange feeling to realise just how much of myself has been tied up in my identity of a third culture kid (TCK), even into adulthood. There's a lot of theory to digest in Misunderstood but it's presented with clarity of everyday speech rather than academic writing. Personally, I related to many of the topics discussed in this book, and gained a more holistic understanding of how my international upbringing has impacted me.
Even though I've come to appreciate many positives about being raised abroad more than half my childhood, there are some negative sentiments that have lingered. Instead of dealing with them, I've suppressed them for a long time. Reading Misundertood made me realise that I need to start addressing these emotions in order to move forward.
Even though I've come to appreciate many positives about being raised abroad more than half my childhood, there are some negative sentiments that have lingered. Instead of dealing with them, I've suppressed them for a long time. Reading Misundertood made me realise that I need to start addressing these emotions in order to move forward.
February 6, 2021
Misunderstood — That is, in a single word uttered among people who lived across many places.
The author has lived in more than 15 places in four countries, U.S, Cambodia, China, Australia.
Why read this work?
Anyone who is living abroad, has moved constantly.
It's easy and straight forward.
What would you understand or learn after reading this?
Awareness, you'd become familiar with snippets of stories from people who grew up in non-passport country.
People who have lived among many cultures, what they learn and what they struggle with in the midst of their moves
What's the most important from the Book ?
Grief, transition needs space, acknowledgment. In some cultures, grief is dismissed as, "Be Strong."
In Tamil Culture, people believe Men ought not to have emotions.
People would utter, ‘you should not feel sad about this’
I believe, that robs them out of important tool required in relationship.
The ability to build real, intimate, joyful relationship.
What excerpts that I enjoyed?
I personally have felt at home traveling Boston, Delhi , Chennai, Tuticorin airport. Whenever I visit them, it brings the feeling of home.
TCK, Third Culture Kid, Children who grow up in another country, where their family is not from.
Many 21st century TCKs have a support network scattered across the globe.
Benefits of TCK:
-Broader Worldview
-Travel Opportunities
-Open minded towards differences
Cons:
-Isolation
-Misunderstood by family & friends
-Each person only knows tiny snapshots of parts of their lives
-Constant Tug of War across cultures from family unit and friends
What do I do?
-Find out as much about your past
-Build a Story
-Share your narrative
-Acknowledge Emotions
-Create Safe Relationships
-Embrace differences with Joy
What are some of the mini-stories from the Book?
Maly, who lived in two countries, with over 6 moves says, “It took me about six years to realize how proud I am to be Cambodian yet I am still American. “
Aurelie, who lived in 5 countries, says we’d move so much. I quickly stopped making the effort of building friendships. After all, one of us would end up moving away so why bother making myself vulnerable and opening up.
Some TCKs run headlong into relationships, determined to soak up everything they can before the inevitable goodbye.
They can come across as needy or draining – especially to non-TCKs.
Several TCKs related problems making friends in their passport country because they were seen as ‘too intense’.
Jaey, who lived in Singapore; 2nd: Australia, China, New Zealand, Singapore; 11 moves. Family: business. School: Christian international, international.
Apparently I speak however the person I’m speaking to speaks. Singlish, American, Australian, occasionally a Chinese accent when speaking Chinese, not to mention a Kiwi twang if I speak to friends from New Zealand.
My Own Thoughts
I grew up in Tamil Nadu, having moved around constantly.
When I was in Tamil Nadu, I never cared much about other states in India. Maybe I could have, to get better insight about people. Looking back, it seemed lot of the views were archaic, i.e pale skin is better.
For an American too, it might be the case with some of their views. He might not really care, which is understandable. When I first was among Anglo-Saxons, they seemed to be exotic in my eyes. In Tamil Nadu, pale skin is exotic. As time went by, living among many people, I forgot to think or notice about skin color.
Deus Vult,
Gottfried
The author has lived in more than 15 places in four countries, U.S, Cambodia, China, Australia.
Why read this work?
Anyone who is living abroad, has moved constantly.
It's easy and straight forward.
What would you understand or learn after reading this?
Awareness, you'd become familiar with snippets of stories from people who grew up in non-passport country.
People who have lived among many cultures, what they learn and what they struggle with in the midst of their moves
What's the most important from the Book ?
Grief, transition needs space, acknowledgment. In some cultures, grief is dismissed as, "Be Strong."
In Tamil Culture, people believe Men ought not to have emotions.
People would utter, ‘you should not feel sad about this’
I believe, that robs them out of important tool required in relationship.
The ability to build real, intimate, joyful relationship.
What excerpts that I enjoyed?
I personally have felt at home traveling Boston, Delhi , Chennai, Tuticorin airport. Whenever I visit them, it brings the feeling of home.
TCK, Third Culture Kid, Children who grow up in another country, where their family is not from.
Many 21st century TCKs have a support network scattered across the globe.
Benefits of TCK:
-Broader Worldview
-Travel Opportunities
-Open minded towards differences
Cons:
-Isolation
-Misunderstood by family & friends
-Each person only knows tiny snapshots of parts of their lives
-Constant Tug of War across cultures from family unit and friends
What do I do?
-Find out as much about your past
-Build a Story
-Share your narrative
-Acknowledge Emotions
-Create Safe Relationships
-Embrace differences with Joy
What are some of the mini-stories from the Book?
Maly, who lived in two countries, with over 6 moves says, “It took me about six years to realize how proud I am to be Cambodian yet I am still American. “
Aurelie, who lived in 5 countries, says we’d move so much. I quickly stopped making the effort of building friendships. After all, one of us would end up moving away so why bother making myself vulnerable and opening up.
Some TCKs run headlong into relationships, determined to soak up everything they can before the inevitable goodbye.
They can come across as needy or draining – especially to non-TCKs.
Several TCKs related problems making friends in their passport country because they were seen as ‘too intense’.
Jaey, who lived in Singapore; 2nd: Australia, China, New Zealand, Singapore; 11 moves. Family: business. School: Christian international, international.
Apparently I speak however the person I’m speaking to speaks. Singlish, American, Australian, occasionally a Chinese accent when speaking Chinese, not to mention a Kiwi twang if I speak to friends from New Zealand.
My Own Thoughts
I grew up in Tamil Nadu, having moved around constantly.
When I was in Tamil Nadu, I never cared much about other states in India. Maybe I could have, to get better insight about people. Looking back, it seemed lot of the views were archaic, i.e pale skin is better.
For an American too, it might be the case with some of their views. He might not really care, which is understandable. When I first was among Anglo-Saxons, they seemed to be exotic in my eyes. In Tamil Nadu, pale skin is exotic. As time went by, living among many people, I forgot to think or notice about skin color.
Deus Vult,
Gottfried
April 3, 2018
Growing up away from their passport country has a deep and lasting impact on children. Often, parents, teachers, family, and even the kids themselves don’t always fully understand how global life has affected these third culture kids (TCKs).
In Misunderstood, Tanya Crossman seeks to explain TCK life, acting “as translator between TCKs and those who care for them.”
Crossman does an excellent job of thoroughly addressing all aspects of TCK life both during their growing up years and as adults. Not only does she offer insight and research data, she also includes relevant quotes on nearly every page from TCKs themselves. Including the voices of TCKs and ATCKs was a very meaningful addition that helps the reader gain a deeper understanding of what it means to be a global citizen. If TCKs often struggle with being misunderstood, this book goes a long way in helping change that.
I found myself nodding along as Crossman explained how factors like schooling choices, frequent transition and transition grief, patriotism, and repatriation impact children. Honestly, there was a lot in the book that helped me understand myself as someone who’s lived overseas for most of my adult life.
In Misunderstood, Tanya Crossman seeks to explain TCK life, acting “as translator between TCKs and those who care for them.”
Crossman does an excellent job of thoroughly addressing all aspects of TCK life both during their growing up years and as adults. Not only does she offer insight and research data, she also includes relevant quotes on nearly every page from TCKs themselves. Including the voices of TCKs and ATCKs was a very meaningful addition that helps the reader gain a deeper understanding of what it means to be a global citizen. If TCKs often struggle with being misunderstood, this book goes a long way in helping change that.
I found myself nodding along as Crossman explained how factors like schooling choices, frequent transition and transition grief, patriotism, and repatriation impact children. Honestly, there was a lot in the book that helped me understand myself as someone who’s lived overseas for most of my adult life.
December 10, 2016
Fascinating and well written book that demonstrates beyond doubt that modern day Third Culture Kids really do face complex and debilitating issues – hundreds of TCKs were surveyed or interviewed for the book. As well as providing some valuable research material, the book gives a real sense of what TCKs actually feel: “My life feels like a series of learning how to stack stones on the wall around my heart,” and “Every time I felt sad, I let myself feel it. Some of those days, I laid down in bed for a while, and let myself be tired out by the grieving process.”
This is a really helpful book, bringing all the issues together in a well-structured and logical way. As well as providing food for thought for other TCKs and their families, this will resonate with others: many of the issues highlighted in the book apply not just to TCKs, and not just to adults who were once TCKs, but to anyone who, like me, took the plunge and moved abroad. A really absorbing and thought-provoking book.
This is a really helpful book, bringing all the issues together in a well-structured and logical way. As well as providing food for thought for other TCKs and their families, this will resonate with others: many of the issues highlighted in the book apply not just to TCKs, and not just to adults who were once TCKs, but to anyone who, like me, took the plunge and moved abroad. A really absorbing and thought-provoking book.
March 9, 2018
I really enjoyed reading this book. As TCK, this book really helped me understand myself. I always found myself stuck between three cultures, and always felt that I was an outsider. As I was reading this book, I realised there were majority people (TCK) had the same experiences as me. For me, this is really a sense of comfort as well as hope. When the author analysed each situation that the TCK faced and what they were feeling during their growing up experiences, this really spoke to me as it was what I was thinking for the past couple of years. This book helped me rediscover myself and understand others from other cultures.
December 4, 2025
The first three chapters (75% of the book) were unbelievably, painfully repetitive. I understand that there are big differences between TCKs from a mission and a military background, or who study at a local school vs. an international school, but I think these chapters would have been better presented as a table with some explaining paragraphs rather than 200 pages of description.
However, the fourth chapter, where the author summarized the commonalities among TCKs, made it all worth it. That chapter contained what I was looking for when I picked up the book.
Having read it, I noticed a few things about myself that were common TCK feelings/perspectives, and I think it gave me some perspective on what I need relationally.
However, the fourth chapter, where the author summarized the commonalities among TCKs, made it all worth it. That chapter contained what I was looking for when I picked up the book.
Having read it, I noticed a few things about myself that were common TCK feelings/perspectives, and I think it gave me some perspective on what I need relationally.
November 7, 2022
This book seems very helpful in most ways. But I’m also new to the TCK life, with very young children, so it almost brought some new anxiety into my life that I didn’t even realize I would need to worry about. But overall, the book was interesting-the quotes from TCK’s made it less like a boring textbook. And I’m glad I read it so that I am at least aware of a lot of things I didn’t even know about before.
November 27, 2019
Super interesting read and a valuable resource for raising TCKs. It's well researched and the direct quotes from many TCKs make it more personal (or else it might have been hard to read for someone who appreciates storytelling - even in non-fiction).
I'll highly recommend it to my fellow global moms or anyone who grew up in a different country than the one on their passport.
I'll highly recommend it to my fellow global moms or anyone who grew up in a different country than the one on their passport.
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November 14, 2023I wanted this to be more insightful, but it seemed to mostly cover things I already know. This ended up being a good reminder that people who haven’t lived the TCK life or learned the language to describe why it is uniquely challenging and valuable can’t be expected to have this insight. As always, coming back to that reminder was both lonely and validating.
November 17, 2019
Must read for TCKs and their parents
Excellent information on TCKs and how to help them navigate their unique gifts and challenges. Wish I had read it sooner.
Excellent information on TCKs and how to help them navigate their unique gifts and challenges. Wish I had read it sooner.
May 7, 2019
I'm bringing up cross cultural kids (CCKs), but I hadn't thought to read anything on it until I read this author's thoughts about the culture gap between CCKs and their parents. My kids are still really young but it feels like this book and discussions that come out of it will helpful as we watch them grow up.
March 27, 2019
There are books that speak to the mind, then there are books that speaks to the heart. Misunderstood is a book that's the latter. As a TCK who has hit her quarter-life crisis, I felt that Tanya's book has helped articulate many of the feelings I was experiencing that I couldn't make sense of myself. Tanya has impressively interviewed over 270 TCKs from a wide array of geographic and cultural backgrounds, putting together a wonderful book that not only help TCKs better understand themselves, but for others to better understand the ever growing TCK community in our increasingly globalized world.
"By not belonging anywhere, I can go anywhere. It’s a lonely life, yet a fulfilling one."
Moving from one place to another throughout their childhood, TCKs have moved on from "transition fatigue" as a kid to growing up to be adult TCKs that have difficulty with learning to "settle" into one place. So really, "home" is a touchy subject for this community and as quoted in the book: "TCKs live in a country they know can never be ‘home’, with the understanding they will leave one day. It is this sense of never being at home that makes the experience of a TCK different to the experiences of many other people who live internationally." This lack of commitment to one single place as "home" and the constant transitions in life has bonded TCKs together, in forming a close-knit community beyond national borders, and creating a unique TCK culture. This unique TCK culture indicated in this book helps many struggling TCKs to find comfort in having a "label," and identifying with a community that fully understands their experiences and struggles, because sometimes, feeling like you're "normal" is the greatest gift.
This book has also helped me come to terms with my own"itchy feet syndrome," feeling the irrational need to move somewhere new once I've stayed in a place for a certain period of time. From reading the testimonials of other TCKs, it is helpful to know that I'm not alone, but it has also helped raise my awareness, that someday, I will have to learn to "create" a home wherever I may be, instead of trying to "find" it.
5 stars for beautifully written and wisely compiled book on a unique form of identity!
"By not belonging anywhere, I can go anywhere. It’s a lonely life, yet a fulfilling one."
Moving from one place to another throughout their childhood, TCKs have moved on from "transition fatigue" as a kid to growing up to be adult TCKs that have difficulty with learning to "settle" into one place. So really, "home" is a touchy subject for this community and as quoted in the book: "TCKs live in a country they know can never be ‘home’, with the understanding they will leave one day. It is this sense of never being at home that makes the experience of a TCK different to the experiences of many other people who live internationally." This lack of commitment to one single place as "home" and the constant transitions in life has bonded TCKs together, in forming a close-knit community beyond national borders, and creating a unique TCK culture. This unique TCK culture indicated in this book helps many struggling TCKs to find comfort in having a "label," and identifying with a community that fully understands their experiences and struggles, because sometimes, feeling like you're "normal" is the greatest gift.
This book has also helped me come to terms with my own"itchy feet syndrome," feeling the irrational need to move somewhere new once I've stayed in a place for a certain period of time. From reading the testimonials of other TCKs, it is helpful to know that I'm not alone, but it has also helped raise my awareness, that someday, I will have to learn to "create" a home wherever I may be, instead of trying to "find" it.
5 stars for beautifully written and wisely compiled book on a unique form of identity!
October 3, 2016
I have not yet finished the book myself, however my partner has and this is her review:
"I found 'Misunderstood' really valuable and easy to read because it combines anecdotes from young people and practical support strategies based on Crossman's well-grounded research about the impact of growing up in multiple countries.
The book is divided into sections that make it easy to dip in and read about specific situations e.g. what it's like if your family is engaged in international business or missionary or foreign service. I was especially impressed by the discussion about how and why third culture kids suppress their emotions and how to support their emotional expression and growth.
My partner went to 6 primary schools and lived in 17 houses whilst growing up in Australia and overseas. 'Misunderstood' could have made a big difference for him and for his family. So if you are planning an international career that will entail multiple family moves I encourage you to read this book now."
"I found 'Misunderstood' really valuable and easy to read because it combines anecdotes from young people and practical support strategies based on Crossman's well-grounded research about the impact of growing up in multiple countries.
The book is divided into sections that make it easy to dip in and read about specific situations e.g. what it's like if your family is engaged in international business or missionary or foreign service. I was especially impressed by the discussion about how and why third culture kids suppress their emotions and how to support their emotional expression and growth.
My partner went to 6 primary schools and lived in 17 houses whilst growing up in Australia and overseas. 'Misunderstood' could have made a big difference for him and for his family. So if you are planning an international career that will entail multiple family moves I encourage you to read this book now."
August 30, 2019
If you've read Pollock and Van Reken's Third Culture Kids then read this. If you haven't then start with Tanya Crossman's Misunderstood first! It's an excellent book for better understanding TCKs. A must read for parents raising kids cross-culturally (or planning to.) Also great for those who grew up this way, or whose work is with TCKs. An engaging read and updated for the 21st century (ex. Is it helpful or not to be able to connect electronically?). Really appreciated all of the quotes and input of the TCKs who were interviewed!
March 1, 2019
Where is 'home'? How does moving abroad during one's formative years impact relationships, identity, and understanding of place? Crossman tackles these questions artfully through anecdotes from some 200+ TCKs she interviewed, findings from psychology research, and reflections from her own experiences living and working abroad.
A must-read for TCKs, adult TCKs, and parents thinking of moving overseas. I can't recommend it highly enough!
A must-read for TCKs, adult TCKs, and parents thinking of moving overseas. I can't recommend it highly enough!
July 31, 2017
Great must-read book for all Third Culture Kids.
May 31, 2024
It’s a niche topic. Not everyone grew up on the mission field. Not everyone relates to living internationally. But for those who are Third Culture Kids, (or who married into a family of TCKs) it’s a great read.
It is a condensed version of “Third Culture Kids” by Pollock. Pollock seemed too thorough to me and favored statistics that lost my interest. This was an easier read written in “laymen’s terms.” If you were considering Pollock’s book but found it to be a difficult read, I highly recommend giving this book a try.
“An international upbringing is not a curse on TCKs”
“TCKs around the globe have a wealth of stories, experiences, and perspectives to share. If you know some TCKs, you are fortunate. TCKs are wonderful, warm-hearted people with a lot to offer the world – whether as family members, friends, employees, partners, or parents.”
Excerpt From
Misunderstood
Tanya Crossman
This material may be protected by copyright.
It is a condensed version of “Third Culture Kids” by Pollock. Pollock seemed too thorough to me and favored statistics that lost my interest. This was an easier read written in “laymen’s terms.” If you were considering Pollock’s book but found it to be a difficult read, I highly recommend giving this book a try.
“An international upbringing is not a curse on TCKs”
“TCKs around the globe have a wealth of stories, experiences, and perspectives to share. If you know some TCKs, you are fortunate. TCKs are wonderful, warm-hearted people with a lot to offer the world – whether as family members, friends, employees, partners, or parents.”
Excerpt From
Misunderstood
Tanya Crossman
This material may be protected by copyright.
November 5, 2021
Absolutely brilliant. The depth of the author's commitment to understanding the people that she writes about is evident on every page. Not content with simply writing a book based on her years of experience in this field, Tanya grounds Misunderstood in surveys and interviews with TCKs from all over the world, testing her assumptions and giving weight and context to what she has learned through her day-to-day work with TCKs. The result is a book which will open up new insights for TCKs and those who work with and love them (as Tanya clearly does), and help them to make their way in the world in real and practical ways.
I would recommend this book to every TCK parent, counselor, youth worker, and international school teacher, as well as any TCK who feels alone in their life experiences and longs to hear from someone who gets it.
I would recommend this book to every TCK parent, counselor, youth worker, and international school teacher, as well as any TCK who feels alone in their life experiences and longs to hear from someone who gets it.
May 29, 2021
Strongly recommended reading for any parent or educator who is raising/working with third culture kids. Tanya gives a wonderful overview of all the different "types" of third culture kids (military kid, missionary kid, corporate TCK, etc.) in a very readable and relatable manner. She also gives tips on what adults can do to support TCKs.
I appreciated how Tanya addressed TCKs like me who feel like immigrants (i.e., are not so mobile; we settled for a long time in one country outside our passport country) too, b/c often works about TCKs seem to presume high mobility...which isn't always the case.
I appreciated how Tanya addressed TCKs like me who feel like immigrants (i.e., are not so mobile; we settled for a long time in one country outside our passport country) too, b/c often works about TCKs seem to presume high mobility...which isn't always the case.
January 6, 2024
Wow, what a resource this is, both for TCKs and their caregivers! While it tackles a large topic with many different facets, Tanya Crossman did an excellent job making it readable and organized. I especially enjoyed hearing directly from other TCKs through their quotes and stories.
Every time I read a book on TCKs, I'm struck by how similar our experiences as TCKs are, no matter how different the places and cultures we grow up in. One of my favorite quotes was about how we truly are our own nation--scattered all across the globe.
If you know a TCK and want to understand them better, this book would be an excellent place to start!
Every time I read a book on TCKs, I'm struck by how similar our experiences as TCKs are, no matter how different the places and cultures we grow up in. One of my favorite quotes was about how we truly are our own nation--scattered all across the globe.
If you know a TCK and want to understand them better, this book would be an excellent place to start!
June 22, 2022
I was so excited to read this book! However, I was underwhelmed. As an international educator, I found that much of this book did not align with our experiences raising TCKs. A lot of this book felt like it was based on assumptions and I hoped to gain more insight into current research about TCKs.
The vignettes the author used to weave together the experiences of TCKs she interviewed were interesting and poignant. However, it appears as though the pool of interviewees was shallow as many perspectives are repeated from the same people.
The vignettes the author used to weave together the experiences of TCKs she interviewed were interesting and poignant. However, it appears as though the pool of interviewees was shallow as many perspectives are repeated from the same people.
October 8, 2018
I wish my parents had given me this book along with "What's Happening to my Body: A Book for Boys." As someone who gravitates to the codifying of things, the simple breakdowns of the TCK experience would have been extremely helpful.
As an adult who has already processed most of the emotions, the book wasn't entirely useful.
Overall 3/5
Book Cover/Quality 4/5
Clear, large font.
As an adult who has already processed most of the emotions, the book wasn't entirely useful.
Overall 3/5
Book Cover/Quality 4/5
Clear, large font.
June 21, 2021
This book has a lot of great information about TCKs and most of it is in the TCKs own words and ideas. I really appreciated the large amount of interviews done and first hand expirences sought. For me , since I have read many of the sources (books) cited and extensively quoted, it was a lot of repeat information. I would highly recommend this for TCKs who have not read a lot of other resources, this was an excellent interview heavy overview.
July 11, 2017
Really obvious material if you have any experience or training with international living or being culturally mixed. Perhaps being mixed race person with an immigrant father, husband from a different country, and transracially adopted child, who has lived in four different countries in my 20's with friends and colleagues who live similarly, I'm not the target audience for this book.
March 27, 2025
This is an excellent book for any TCKs or anyone working with TCKs. I saw myself in the book in lots of places, and now I want my kids to read it so we can discuss it as a family. This one will be one of my "highly recommended" books as we work with globally mobile families.
Thanks Tanya for writing this!
Thanks Tanya for writing this!
May 20, 2024
Good content that all TCKs should read. I appreciated her special attention paid to both the mk and asian expat experience without ever letting either takeaways from the wide variety of TCK lived experiences. A bit slow and maybe reading it five years too late but good all the same
September 11, 2021
I am a distance grandparent and distance parent and this book gave me great insight into 'how it is' for my grandchildren. I like the compact size. It is meaty without being daunting.
I didn't know Tanya when I bought the book but I have gone on to get to know her as a fellow mobility writer. She is very knowledgeable and incredibly passionate about supporting TCK's. Check out her website and the courses she also runs.
I didn't know Tanya when I bought the book but I have gone on to get to know her as a fellow mobility writer. She is very knowledgeable and incredibly passionate about supporting TCK's. Check out her website and the courses she also runs.
June 21, 2025
excellent study
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