Chasing Bliss: A Layman’s Guide to Love, Fulfillment, Damage Control, Repair and Resurrection

by Larry Brooks, Marci Nemhauser (Foreword), Carrie Rubin, MD (Foreword)

Marriage is hard. Living together in a committed, non-traditional relationship is just as hard, maybe even more so. A less than completely satisfying level of happiness and fulfillment within a primary relationship is perhaps the most common human dysfunction in the modern world. So much so that we have come to accept something less than complete bliss in our marriages, partnerships and domestic arrangements as the normal state of things, an expectation born of human imperfection and the pressing need for constant compromise. We have redefined it as something less than the word bliss actually implies. Coming even mildly close to bliss is considered a rousing success, but even then, whatever sliver of unrest, anxiety and inconsistency remain can flare into a torrent of restlessness that could one day again render you single .

In CHASING BLISS, Larry Brooks shows us a path toward bucking that trend through the channeling of our imperfection toward a perfectly functional awareness of how we might be contributing to the problem, while becoming coach and therapist when we're not. While repeatedly reminding the reader that some problems remain the province of professional counselors, CHASING BLISS holds up a mirror to the many ways time and apathy become toxic factors in reducing loving relationships to something less than how they began, with kindness, togetherness, sexual satisfaction and hope the price of growing apart while growing weary of each other.

The book is divided into three ten reasons why husbands might cheat on their spouse/partners... ten reasons why women might leave the nest for a better life... and an exploration of eight primary realms of relationship, the mastery of which becomes a tool chest of strategies and solutions that not only mitigate decline, but serve to refuel the chemistry and hope that once brought you together. This goes beyond the theoretical with specific actionable responses and alternatives to some of the most common challenges couples face, while clarifying tough,indisputable truths about the roles we play in our own domestic tragedies. Even if we feel - all the way to divorce court - that it was the other person's fault. This, promises the author, is the stuff your shrink will goad you into realizing for yourself, but without the weeks and months of therapy it could take to reach that point with clarity and purpose. It's all right here, in your face, unassailable and immediately useful in real life.

In her Foreword to the book, Dr. Carrie Rubin says the beauty of this book is its power to be a tool for both relationship recovery and healthy relationship maintenance. For those in good shape, its advice will serve as a protective life vest, one that will keep you from sinking into troubled waters." Brooks knows from where he speaks, having been down the road to failure not once, but twice, and is now twenty years happily married to a woman that challenges him to be the best version of himself, with immovable consequences if he is not. "On paper we shouldn't work," he writes, "but we are living in a state I can only describe as bliss, if bliss is defined as inclusive of the trials and challenges that are inevitable and ready to rip you apart. Now we are stronger than the problems life throws our way, not because we are better or smarter than couples who don't make it, but because we are vulnerable to these truths and committed to the principles of interaction and loving partnership that are necessary to make it to the other side." These truths are the heart and soul of CHASING BLISS, a book for people who want to make love work, but fear they aren't up to it. With these principles, you just might become the couple that gets there through an understanding that bliss is not a destination or a finish line, but the road itself. Which, armed with empowered awareness and sensitivity, you can now actually pave with the good intentions that others blame.

249 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 23, 2016

Reviews

[Sue Coletta · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!!! Not only is CHASING BLISS filled with practical, solid advice from someone whose been there, but Larry Brooks doesn't hold back. He tells it like it is, and really, isn't that we'd want when exploring the depths of our relationships? The chapters entitled 10 Reasons He's Going To Cheat On You and 10 Reasons She's Going To Leave You are so perfect you will be amazed. He really nailed how women think, which blew my mind. And on the man's side of things, what can I say? He knows his stuff. Over the years I think I've dated every man depicted in this novel. I've also been guilty of many of the things women do. And that's the thing about CHASING BLISS...this project must have been a labor of love, because it's so detailed. He didn't miss one scenario. Not one! But the real magic lies in the structure, and I'll tell you why...

First, Larry Brooks discussed why your relationship might be in trouble, why you might not living "in the pause" on the road to bliss. Not from a condescending point of view, but from a place of genuine concern and yearning to help couples be the best versions of themselves in their relationships. He then moves onto giving us the tools to work on our relationship. And finally, he offers us a playbook that helps us to achieve and maintain marital bliss.

And don't think for a second he doesn't turn the magnifying glass on his own marriage. He certainly does, and he shares personal stories in order to help illustrate his point. It's one of the bravest thing I've EVER seen an author do.

You may believe your marriage is rock-solid, and maybe it is. My marriage wasn't in trouble when I read CHASING BLISS. But even if your marriage is at a stage that's both satisfying and blissful, I still recommend reading this book. None of us are perfect. We're all guilty of one or two of the pitfalls depicted in CHASING BLISS now and then. It makes us human. By reading CHASING BLISS you'll be able to recognize a "marital killer" when you hear it, even if it's coming out of your mouth, or dwelling deep inside you at the intersection of resentment, bitterness, and rage. Do yourself and your relationship a favor by choosing a different road, a path filled with enlightenment, love, safety, and honesty.

There's not a doubt in my mind that you won't absolutely love CHASING BLISS if, and this a big if, you're honest with yourself and your partner about the state of your relationship and you're willing to do the work to achieve bliss.

[Chris Cash · Rating 1 out of 5]

Less than 1 star if I could give it.