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I Wish He Had Come with Instructions: The Woman's Guide to a Man's Brain
What Is He Really Thinking? When a woman begins a relationship with a man, she may think she's found her knight in shining armor. As the relationship continues, that armor can begin to feel like a barricade she just can't get past it. What's he hiding in there, anyway?Relationship and communication expert Mike Bechtle offers women an insider's guide to the puzzling male brain. Simple and practical, this book provides women with a roadmap for better conversations and improved relationships. Bechtle reminds readers that men and women share many similarities, and by embracing those similarities they can better deal with differences. He explains how men think, act, communicate, and grow in relationships, and even offers tips for communicating in a toxic relationship.Wives, girlfriends, mothers, daughters, friends, and coworkers will find real help within these pages.
226 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 2, 2016
49 people are currently reading
477 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
August 18, 2016
Oh my, there are times I wish I had this book before I gotten married. But truthfully it has came at the right time in my life. I struggle with talking to my dear husband and at times I was not able to understand why he went silent. After reading this book it has opened my eyes to how a man's brain works. We women are and can be very complicated, while men can be very simple and straight forward. This book is a must for all women it will help each of us understand our men better.
This book was given to me for free for an honest review.
This book was given to me for free for an honest review.
November 18, 2016
My thoughts: First, the disclaimer. "I was provided a free paperback copy of this book. All opinions are my own." That done, I WISH HE HAD COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS intrigued me. Not that I need instructions. I've been married to the same man for 30 years and have two grown sons. I understand men. I can read my husband and both sons' thoughts by just looking at them. Sometimes by the tone of their voice.
But my oldest son is thinking about getting married and the girl he has his eye on will be in the same boot I was in when I married. Why does he want to go play basketball with the guys instead of going to the mall with me? Doesn't he love me anymore? Why doesn't he know how to clean (fill in the blank)? Didn't his mama teach him anything? I showed him where the laundry room is several times--why does his stinky, dirty socks keep being taken off and left balled up in the living room?
I could go on.
But I won't. You get the picture.
This book has common sense approaches that teach women that some men really don't see dirt. They see nothing wrong and don't understand what's wrong with the room that you asked them to clean. I say some men because one of my sons probably is more meticulous than I am. Of course, he's in the military and everything has to be kept just so. That spills over into his everyday life.
This book explains the term "Man on a mission" and also illustrates that men are just tall boys. But aside from the fun stuff, it also teaches you how to work together as a team and how to spot and treat hot spots that might cause problems in the marriage.
So you want to know why this intelligent man who wowed you with his knowledge in study hall suddenly turns into a monkey at a foot ball game or starts thumping a book loudly instead of clapping or does other stuff that makes you wonder what just happened... its okay. Its normal. Men are just tall boys.
And just a tiny tip -- men respond well to compliments and encouragement. They thrive on it.
And that is just a couple of the nuggets of wisdom in this book. If you are engaged or newly married (or know someone who is) then pick up a copy of I WISH HE HAD COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS. You'll be glad you did.
But my oldest son is thinking about getting married and the girl he has his eye on will be in the same boot I was in when I married. Why does he want to go play basketball with the guys instead of going to the mall with me? Doesn't he love me anymore? Why doesn't he know how to clean (fill in the blank)? Didn't his mama teach him anything? I showed him where the laundry room is several times--why does his stinky, dirty socks keep being taken off and left balled up in the living room?
I could go on.
But I won't. You get the picture.
This book has common sense approaches that teach women that some men really don't see dirt. They see nothing wrong and don't understand what's wrong with the room that you asked them to clean. I say some men because one of my sons probably is more meticulous than I am. Of course, he's in the military and everything has to be kept just so. That spills over into his everyday life.
This book explains the term "Man on a mission" and also illustrates that men are just tall boys. But aside from the fun stuff, it also teaches you how to work together as a team and how to spot and treat hot spots that might cause problems in the marriage.
So you want to know why this intelligent man who wowed you with his knowledge in study hall suddenly turns into a monkey at a foot ball game or starts thumping a book loudly instead of clapping or does other stuff that makes you wonder what just happened... its okay. Its normal. Men are just tall boys.
And just a tiny tip -- men respond well to compliments and encouragement. They thrive on it.
And that is just a couple of the nuggets of wisdom in this book. If you are engaged or newly married (or know someone who is) then pick up a copy of I WISH HE HAD COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS. You'll be glad you did.
August 8, 2016
We women know that men are different. This is a book for women about how to understand men.
There are certainly differences between men and women. This shows up most clearly in how we communicate. It's a challenge because men think differently than women. Bechtle calls on research and his own experience to help women understand what goes on in a man's brain.
Men have more gray matter than women but women have more white matter. Women have more connections between the neurons and can “think faster” than men. “Men usually take more time to process information than a woman...” That may explain those silent moments in a conversation.
“A woman can focus on multiple things at a time, while a man gives his entire attention to his current task.” Men focus on one thing at a time, so don't expect a man to pay attention to you when he is watching a game. Men don't get hints or nuances in a conversation and they are not good at reading facial expressions so women must speak plainly to communicate well. We get tips on speaking “male” too.
Bechtle makes sure we understand that he is writing about healthy males, not controlling or selfish ones. He encourages us to remember the similarities between men and women and celebrate the differences. He also explores the possibility of those differences resulting in a synergy, something greater than the separate parts.
We learn about the six things men are looking for in a relationship. We find out men are competitive by nature and desire to win. They also desire to be heroes. And, “In a sense, men are just tall boys.” They grew up on play and it is part of who they are.
I learned a great deal from this book. I recommend it to any woman who wants to understand how a man thinks and why he does what he does. Bechtle has given us a huge amount of insight into men, helpful for any woman in her communication with a man. The only aspect I felt missing from this book was a spiritual one. There is nothing about how men and women differ in their spiritual walk and how that might affect Christian couples.
I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
There are certainly differences between men and women. This shows up most clearly in how we communicate. It's a challenge because men think differently than women. Bechtle calls on research and his own experience to help women understand what goes on in a man's brain.
Men have more gray matter than women but women have more white matter. Women have more connections between the neurons and can “think faster” than men. “Men usually take more time to process information than a woman...” That may explain those silent moments in a conversation.
“A woman can focus on multiple things at a time, while a man gives his entire attention to his current task.” Men focus on one thing at a time, so don't expect a man to pay attention to you when he is watching a game. Men don't get hints or nuances in a conversation and they are not good at reading facial expressions so women must speak plainly to communicate well. We get tips on speaking “male” too.
Bechtle makes sure we understand that he is writing about healthy males, not controlling or selfish ones. He encourages us to remember the similarities between men and women and celebrate the differences. He also explores the possibility of those differences resulting in a synergy, something greater than the separate parts.
We learn about the six things men are looking for in a relationship. We find out men are competitive by nature and desire to win. They also desire to be heroes. And, “In a sense, men are just tall boys.” They grew up on play and it is part of who they are.
I learned a great deal from this book. I recommend it to any woman who wants to understand how a man thinks and why he does what he does. Bechtle has given us a huge amount of insight into men, helpful for any woman in her communication with a man. The only aspect I felt missing from this book was a spiritual one. There is nothing about how men and women differ in their spiritual walk and how that might affect Christian couples.
I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
August 24, 2016
This book piqued my interest for a few different reasons:
1. I've been married for fifteen years and I feel I'm no closer to understanding my husband's mind. We've learned to cope with each other's quirks and differences, but many times we still fail to understand the gap between Mars and Venus. :)
2. I write romance novels from both the hero and heroine's point of view, so the more I understand men the better my heroes will be.
3. I have three sons, two of which are teenagers. On a daily basis, I get frustrated with a lack of communication and all the testosterone (a.k.a. anger and competition) flying around the house. Needless to say, being the only woman around, I need help. :)
First of all, please know my reading material of choice is fiction, so non-fiction writing really has to capture my attention to keep me interested. Mike Bechtle succeeded. His style and tone was informative yet humorous, honest without apology, and very helpful. This book is NOT a set of instructions on how to change a man or how to fix a broken relationship. This book explains the male brain chemical makeup, how men perceive certain things, and how/why they react to various life scenarios.
I found this book helpful in my desire to better understand my husband, thus becoming a better wife. We've been married long enough now we've ceased bickering over certain things and have chalked it up to "things we'll never understand." While reading this book, I came across several things we used to argue over, and I'd wished I'd understood my husband's point of view back then. I wish this book would've been available years ago. :)
I recommend this book to newlyweds and anyone who desires to have a better relationship with their spouse and mothers of boys. I gave this book 5 stars!
1. I've been married for fifteen years and I feel I'm no closer to understanding my husband's mind. We've learned to cope with each other's quirks and differences, but many times we still fail to understand the gap between Mars and Venus. :)
2. I write romance novels from both the hero and heroine's point of view, so the more I understand men the better my heroes will be.
3. I have three sons, two of which are teenagers. On a daily basis, I get frustrated with a lack of communication and all the testosterone (a.k.a. anger and competition) flying around the house. Needless to say, being the only woman around, I need help. :)
First of all, please know my reading material of choice is fiction, so non-fiction writing really has to capture my attention to keep me interested. Mike Bechtle succeeded. His style and tone was informative yet humorous, honest without apology, and very helpful. This book is NOT a set of instructions on how to change a man or how to fix a broken relationship. This book explains the male brain chemical makeup, how men perceive certain things, and how/why they react to various life scenarios.
I found this book helpful in my desire to better understand my husband, thus becoming a better wife. We've been married long enough now we've ceased bickering over certain things and have chalked it up to "things we'll never understand." While reading this book, I came across several things we used to argue over, and I'd wished I'd understood my husband's point of view back then. I wish this book would've been available years ago. :)
I recommend this book to newlyweds and anyone who desires to have a better relationship with their spouse and mothers of boys. I gave this book 5 stars!
June 20, 2022
Some of the book is fair and reasonable, but there are also some double standards as well as unrealistic standards for women. I also disagreed with several generalities Bechtle makes about men. It struck a nerve in a few places, too.
Bechtle says men need to *become* healthy and whole, as do women, but in the same breath says men want women who are already emotionally secure. He even says in another section that men can be very insecure in some areas. This infers that men are allowed to be a work-in-progress while women aren't. This is not an ideal world. We are all broken people who are a mixture of secure and insecure.
Since the book is such a one-sided view, some of it can actually work against women. While supposedly the goal is not to change men, several times the solutions would require women to change fundamentally. He suggests not making a man think in a way that is contrary to his wiring, but expects women to do so. A female author needed to be involved to give it some balance as the experience of women is not as validated. For example, women are told to use emotion appropriately but that men "are human" and are less experienced in expressing emotion, so they tend to default to anger. Bechtle seems to be suggesting that it's okay for men to use anger because they don't know any better.
Overall, it all just felt like an overwhelming, impossible chore. Sorry.
Christ is entirely absent from the discussion, too. I think God's sovereignty and provision would've helped make it seem more doable, even enjoyable, for all women to honor how God made men and try to relate to them.
Bechtle says men need to *become* healthy and whole, as do women, but in the same breath says men want women who are already emotionally secure. He even says in another section that men can be very insecure in some areas. This infers that men are allowed to be a work-in-progress while women aren't. This is not an ideal world. We are all broken people who are a mixture of secure and insecure.
Since the book is such a one-sided view, some of it can actually work against women. While supposedly the goal is not to change men, several times the solutions would require women to change fundamentally. He suggests not making a man think in a way that is contrary to his wiring, but expects women to do so. A female author needed to be involved to give it some balance as the experience of women is not as validated. For example, women are told to use emotion appropriately but that men "are human" and are less experienced in expressing emotion, so they tend to default to anger. Bechtle seems to be suggesting that it's okay for men to use anger because they don't know any better.
Overall, it all just felt like an overwhelming, impossible chore. Sorry.
Christ is entirely absent from the discussion, too. I think God's sovereignty and provision would've helped make it seem more doable, even enjoyable, for all women to honor how God made men and try to relate to them.
November 12, 2020
The book is a manual of a kind aimed on understanding men, written from male perspective.
The plus is that the author writes coherently and can explain men well, his explanations are simple and to the point. His anecdotes are funny.
Yet while I appreciate the points and some insights are very useful, I also think that the book promotes some double standards. The word that comes to mind when reading about the intentional and always gracious approach the woman should have towards her man is "mothering". As if keeping the man in a safe place and with respect should come higher than the truth (this surely is not the author's intention, but in some cases the reader might misunderstand the meaning). Also, one of the standing point is that man can not change his maleness - I would dispute this, because while I can not change my femaleness, too, I can adjust it within the certain mantinels (for example: I can not change the hormonal reality, but I can work with it, educate myself and widen the tools I am working with. The same goes for the psychological reality.). We are not "victims" of our circumstances (and our realities).
I woild love to have a chapter about women explain their "femaleness" to men (with examples). While author is a male, he certainly has wide knowledge and could help women to find the right vocabulary and explanations.
I appreciate the presentation of the goal of synergy and working together for the same cause/goal while embracing our uniquenesses.
The plus is that the author writes coherently and can explain men well, his explanations are simple and to the point. His anecdotes are funny.
Yet while I appreciate the points and some insights are very useful, I also think that the book promotes some double standards. The word that comes to mind when reading about the intentional and always gracious approach the woman should have towards her man is "mothering". As if keeping the man in a safe place and with respect should come higher than the truth (this surely is not the author's intention, but in some cases the reader might misunderstand the meaning). Also, one of the standing point is that man can not change his maleness - I would dispute this, because while I can not change my femaleness, too, I can adjust it within the certain mantinels (for example: I can not change the hormonal reality, but I can work with it, educate myself and widen the tools I am working with. The same goes for the psychological reality.). We are not "victims" of our circumstances (and our realities).
I woild love to have a chapter about women explain their "femaleness" to men (with examples). While author is a male, he certainly has wide knowledge and could help women to find the right vocabulary and explanations.
I appreciate the presentation of the goal of synergy and working together for the same cause/goal while embracing our uniquenesses.
December 2, 2018
I don’t know how I came across this book, to be honest. It was in my library for some reason, but I thought the title was interesting so I read it.
I will not lie, I thought this book was about me. It gave me a slight gender crisis. Was I born a male? Did my parents somehow magically turn me into a girl physically? I exhaled in relief when he described things behaviors that don’t exist within me. I guess, even though men and women are different, there are still some similarities... even the behaviors we consider only men to have, sometimes women have them, too.
My favorite part was the author’s claim that men can’t see dirt. I thought there was a different meaning to it. I laughed out loud when he meant literal dirt. Living with only brothers as siblings, I agree.
After reading the book, the only thing I can say is, you can’t really judge how true the content is unless you test it out yourself. I’d have to ask a man to read the book for me and tell me if what is written is true or not, though. Regardless, I think it’s worth pondering on, how men are. It definitely provides some answers to us ladies about some of the most mind boggling behaviors men have.
Overall it was quite enjoyable. I recommend it to anyone who’s got the time, especially if you’re a woman curious about how a man’s brain works.
I will not lie, I thought this book was about me. It gave me a slight gender crisis. Was I born a male? Did my parents somehow magically turn me into a girl physically? I exhaled in relief when he described things behaviors that don’t exist within me. I guess, even though men and women are different, there are still some similarities... even the behaviors we consider only men to have, sometimes women have them, too.
My favorite part was the author’s claim that men can’t see dirt. I thought there was a different meaning to it. I laughed out loud when he meant literal dirt. Living with only brothers as siblings, I agree.
After reading the book, the only thing I can say is, you can’t really judge how true the content is unless you test it out yourself. I’d have to ask a man to read the book for me and tell me if what is written is true or not, though. Regardless, I think it’s worth pondering on, how men are. It definitely provides some answers to us ladies about some of the most mind boggling behaviors men have.
Overall it was quite enjoyable. I recommend it to anyone who’s got the time, especially if you’re a woman curious about how a man’s brain works.
January 13, 2017
I Wish He Had Come with Instructions is a great book for women to help understand their husbands, sons, brothers, boyfriends, or to understand man in general. Very well written with a lot of good points and advice.
Some topics covered in this book include:
What to look for during both high-stress and low-stress
situations
Why he won’t talk or let you in
How men listen, and how it’s different from how women listen
What he means by what he says
The illusion of communication
What’s behind his choices
What a grown-up relationship looks like
How his past has shaped his present
What drives a man
What he needs that only a woman can provide
Why he can’t see dirt
What his emotions look like
How he cares
Thank you, Netgalley for this book!
March 10, 2024
This book is predominantly outdated junk science pop psychology nonsense. The gendered brain differences do occur, but not with the frequency the author writes of. Many of the things he describes as intrinsic parts of the male brain are actually specific trauma responses.
Many other things are just basic human experiences that men and women and everyone else experience.
Many other things are just basic human experiences that men and women and everyone else experience.
May 31, 2017
Saw this book on one of the top charts. Surprisingly interesting and insightful. It is interesting to note the differences between a male and female that I have never noticed before. I have been reading a few of books about the way people behave and think, and this is one of them. I loved it.
January 10, 2023
2.5
Es war okay, mit kleinen wertvollen Impulsen, nichts weltbewegendes!🤷♀️
Unterschiede schätzen lernen, nicht bekämpfen.
Immer wieder in den Partner investieren, auch Kleinigkeiten, die dann zinsenzinsähnlich sich vervielfältigen.
Es war okay, mit kleinen wertvollen Impulsen, nichts weltbewegendes!🤷♀️
Unterschiede schätzen lernen, nicht bekämpfen.
Immer wieder in den Partner investieren, auch Kleinigkeiten, die dann zinsenzinsähnlich sich vervielfältigen.
January 21, 2018
Should be required reading before any woman gets into a relationship. Starting in our teens.
October 4, 2019
I think what the author express can be applied to any person. Not only men. I know people that behaves exactly the opposite. Nothing new, all description of stereotypes that can easily be debated.
April 29, 2020
This was a good book and had some good insights. It was a bit repetitive at times and unclear, but I think I'm glad I read it. It was an easy read.
Want to read
April 18, 2021Note: I received a digital review copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley.
June 5, 2021
I enjoyed the tips and resources the author gave. He includes helpful examples and stories. I also appreciate that at the heart of it is to be your healthiest self. It was respectful to women.
August 29, 2021
Good reference book.
September 27, 2021
ممتاز جداً
October 16, 2016
I disliked this book. Review to come.
September 27, 2016
Title: I Wish He Had Come With Instructions
Author: Mike Bechtle
Genre: Nonfiction, Christian, Relationships, Marriage, Men, Humor,
Plot: The differences between men and women has fueled many books and movies, some to make fun of those differences and some to try to solve them. In that regard, this boo isn't any different than another relationship book, but it is unique in that it's by a man for women to learn how to appreciate those differences and live with them rather than a manual on ho to change the men in their lives.
With humor, Mr. Bechtle lays down a map to the man's brain and points out the unique differences and the areas that women can influence {habits} and the areas they can't change {genetics and how God wired the man}. If more women understand the differences, accept and appreciate them, more men will find themselves willing to change for their woman. And together, every couple can write their own instruction manual.
Likes/Dislikes: This book really is unique and fell in line with a lot of what my husband says about men, which was nice. And being reminded of the different ways I can appreciate my husband was a timely blessing. It never hurts to run little martial check-ups and remind your husband that he's the number one person in your life, no matter how rough or smooth things are going. But beyond that, this book wasn't anything new and it was excruciatingly repetitive. Copy and paste must've written half this book. Some of the stories were funny but the mind map wasn't a map at all and the chapter on red flags in relationships was completely useless.
Rating: PG-15 and up, mainly for content {its a marriage book}
Date Review Written: September 27th, 2016
I received a free copy of this book courtesy of the publishers in exchange for an honest review. I wasn't required to write a positive review and the opinions expressed in the above review are my own.
Author: Mike Bechtle
Genre: Nonfiction, Christian, Relationships, Marriage, Men, Humor,
Plot: The differences between men and women has fueled many books and movies, some to make fun of those differences and some to try to solve them. In that regard, this boo isn't any different than another relationship book, but it is unique in that it's by a man for women to learn how to appreciate those differences and live with them rather than a manual on ho to change the men in their lives.
With humor, Mr. Bechtle lays down a map to the man's brain and points out the unique differences and the areas that women can influence {habits} and the areas they can't change {genetics and how God wired the man}. If more women understand the differences, accept and appreciate them, more men will find themselves willing to change for their woman. And together, every couple can write their own instruction manual.
Likes/Dislikes: This book really is unique and fell in line with a lot of what my husband says about men, which was nice. And being reminded of the different ways I can appreciate my husband was a timely blessing. It never hurts to run little martial check-ups and remind your husband that he's the number one person in your life, no matter how rough or smooth things are going. But beyond that, this book wasn't anything new and it was excruciatingly repetitive. Copy and paste must've written half this book. Some of the stories were funny but the mind map wasn't a map at all and the chapter on red flags in relationships was completely useless.
Rating: PG-15 and up, mainly for content {its a marriage book}
Date Review Written: September 27th, 2016
I received a free copy of this book courtesy of the publishers in exchange for an honest review. I wasn't required to write a positive review and the opinions expressed in the above review are my own.
August 24, 2016
I Wish He Had Come With Instructions, written by Mike Bechtle, is a book written to help us women take a peak inside our man's brain. It is a suggestion for how to approach the man in our lives.
This book has many good points in it. The author points out the physical difference between the man's brain and the woman's brain. He also points out how this makes the difference for how men and women act.
The author has several topic that he points out to the readers. Some of them include, what men want women to know, myths about men and how men communicate. The author also points out a few things that we as women can do to develop a satisfying relationship with our man. Those include:
Constantly look through his eyes to see his perspective.
Waste time together.
Make laughter a priority in your relationship.
Show him respect whenever you can, in little and big ways.
Clarify expectations.
Take care of yourself.
Be intentional.
The title of this book is what made me decide to read it. And my husband had a good laugh about it. The author has a humorous approach to writing this book. The one we laughed about was the process of putting together do-it-yourself furniture. The author writes out the steps: open the box, look for instructions (or at least the wife does), lay out the pieces, try to follow instructions, get frustrated, eat cookies. I appreciate the author pointing out that we cannot change our man, as so many women try to do. We can develop a better relationship by trying to understand our man and working with that. The part in the book that stands out to me is that most men would rather make a difference in others lives. They want to make an impact at work as well as at home, and with family and friends. Men want to be heroes to the people in their lives who matter to them. Above all else, that includes the women in their lives. I especially appreciate the authors pointing out that this is not a book to help a troubled relationship, that no book can. The author stress the importance for good communication and gives guidance on developing good communication skills to avoid placing blame.
I received a copy of this book from Revell Publishing for an honest review.
224 Pages
ISBN: 9780800723835
Publisher: Revell Publishing
This book has many good points in it. The author points out the physical difference between the man's brain and the woman's brain. He also points out how this makes the difference for how men and women act.
The author has several topic that he points out to the readers. Some of them include, what men want women to know, myths about men and how men communicate. The author also points out a few things that we as women can do to develop a satisfying relationship with our man. Those include:
Constantly look through his eyes to see his perspective.
Waste time together.
Make laughter a priority in your relationship.
Show him respect whenever you can, in little and big ways.
Clarify expectations.
Take care of yourself.
Be intentional.
The title of this book is what made me decide to read it. And my husband had a good laugh about it. The author has a humorous approach to writing this book. The one we laughed about was the process of putting together do-it-yourself furniture. The author writes out the steps: open the box, look for instructions (or at least the wife does), lay out the pieces, try to follow instructions, get frustrated, eat cookies. I appreciate the author pointing out that we cannot change our man, as so many women try to do. We can develop a better relationship by trying to understand our man and working with that. The part in the book that stands out to me is that most men would rather make a difference in others lives. They want to make an impact at work as well as at home, and with family and friends. Men want to be heroes to the people in their lives who matter to them. Above all else, that includes the women in their lives. I especially appreciate the authors pointing out that this is not a book to help a troubled relationship, that no book can. The author stress the importance for good communication and gives guidance on developing good communication skills to avoid placing blame.
I received a copy of this book from Revell Publishing for an honest review.
224 Pages
ISBN: 9780800723835
Publisher: Revell Publishing
January 6, 2017
This book, by Dr. Mike Bechtle, is aimed to accomplish the essence of the subtitle: be a woman’s guide to a man’s brain. The author divides the book into five main sections: (i) the care and feeding of a man, (ii) how he thinks, (iii) how he acts, (iv) how he communicates, and (v) how he grows. Initially I asked my wife to review this book, but as a man, my definition of when to review it is different than hers, which is part of why this book is such a beneficial read for both of us. For men, this book can help identify one’s own thinking process and come to terms with it, learning and understanding how their own brain works. For women, this book can be the key to translating the universe, or close to it. Being married myself, I recognize that communication differences are often the main struggle between my wife and I. We do not understand each other's perspective, and more often than not our disagreement and frustrations with each other are simply because I am a man and she is a woman. In this capacity alone, this book is an excellent choice. Is it one hundred percent perfect? No. But it doesn’t need to be. The book prompts one to ask questions, which is more that what an author could ask for: engagement of the material. After reading portions to my wife, she now plans to read it on her own as well.
Bechtle writes conversationally, which works really well for my wife and helps me feel like I’m connecting with the author. I think other readers will enjoy his style of writing as well. He may have a doctorate, but his work isn’t his dissertation, which allows the audience to understand and engage the writing even more so. Not only is the subject matter worth the read, but the writing style helps the read be enjoyable as well.
Disclosure: I have received a reviewer copy and/or payment in exchange for an honest review of the product mentioned in this post.
Bechtle writes conversationally, which works really well for my wife and helps me feel like I’m connecting with the author. I think other readers will enjoy his style of writing as well. He may have a doctorate, but his work isn’t his dissertation, which allows the audience to understand and engage the writing even more so. Not only is the subject matter worth the read, but the writing style helps the read be enjoyable as well.
Disclosure: I have received a reviewer copy and/or payment in exchange for an honest review of the product mentioned in this post.
September 1, 2016
In all honesty, I was surprised at the 213-page length of this book! As a female married to a male for 16 years, I can tell you that men don't really seem all that complicated. I mean, its like the comedian Jeff Foxworthy says, men are easy to figure out, they want a beer and to see something naked. So, when I saw the title of this book and knowing Jeff's concise summation of the male persona and psyche...well, I just had to see what this book was all about--and how it was only more than 2 ages!!
This is the second book I've read by Mike Bechtle. Just as in "You Can't Text a Tough Conversation", Mike has clearly done his homework again. There are several instances where Mike quotes or sites findings to support his statements.
The chapters are broken down like subtopics to 5 main parts that Mike wants to discuss, Chapters and inner-chapter sections are easy to read with good examples and multiple examples.
I found myself dog-earing several pages because I want to go back and share what I read with my hubby!
This book did enlighten me to some of the how and why behind some of the things my husband does. It also does well at delineating the how and why behind the differences between men an women so that we as women can achieve the "a ha". It's not strictly all about men. Instead it does break down the difference between the sexes so we as females can relate to our own sex and then understand why we relate to men in certain ways--or not. And that is why it was 213 pages!
Overall, a very informative read in a enjoyable format. I give it 5 stars!
(I was given this book for free by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)
This is the second book I've read by Mike Bechtle. Just as in "You Can't Text a Tough Conversation", Mike has clearly done his homework again. There are several instances where Mike quotes or sites findings to support his statements.
The chapters are broken down like subtopics to 5 main parts that Mike wants to discuss, Chapters and inner-chapter sections are easy to read with good examples and multiple examples.
I found myself dog-earing several pages because I want to go back and share what I read with my hubby!
This book did enlighten me to some of the how and why behind some of the things my husband does. It also does well at delineating the how and why behind the differences between men an women so that we as women can achieve the "a ha". It's not strictly all about men. Instead it does break down the difference between the sexes so we as females can relate to our own sex and then understand why we relate to men in certain ways--or not. And that is why it was 213 pages!
Overall, a very informative read in a enjoyable format. I give it 5 stars!
(I was given this book for free by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)
August 31, 2016
Tons of books have been written about men by men for women, something the author acknowledges. But his intend in writing was to show men how men think and bring home the point that woman can learn to communicate and live with a man without trying to change him or be confused by his action or inaction. He starts off by saying that this book is designed for women with mentally healthy men. It doesn't address abuse or mental instability. The book is divided into five main parts and each part deals with a different aspect, such as communication, thoughts, or actions. The author draws from personal experiences and uses his stories to bring out his points.
I was really excited to get this book, but just couldn't get into it. The information was good, the stories were interesting, but I had to force myself to finish it. All of the information was the same stuff I've heard before, but presented with the author's unique style. The author did a great job of talking about almost anything a woman might have a questions about. I think this would have been incredibly helpful during my first few years of marriage, but twenty years down the road, not so much. Overall, this was a nice book, just not for me. I would recommend it to young woman starting to date, newly married, or in a rough relationship and confused about their husband.
I received this book free of charge from Revell Reads in exchange for my honest review.
I was really excited to get this book, but just couldn't get into it. The information was good, the stories were interesting, but I had to force myself to finish it. All of the information was the same stuff I've heard before, but presented with the author's unique style. The author did a great job of talking about almost anything a woman might have a questions about. I think this would have been incredibly helpful during my first few years of marriage, but twenty years down the road, not so much. Overall, this was a nice book, just not for me. I would recommend it to young woman starting to date, newly married, or in a rough relationship and confused about their husband.
I received this book free of charge from Revell Reads in exchange for my honest review.
August 31, 2016
“I Wish He Had Come With Instructions” by Mike Bechtle is a very enlightening book. I think most of us women know men are different from us, but a lot of us don’t really know why. Relationship and communication expert Mike Bechtle explains how a man’s brain works. He tells this in a very practical and easy to understand manner. There were even some parts in the book that brought a smile to my face and an “aha” moment. This is a great self help book in understanding the man in your life and why he acts the way he does! I loved the way this book was not highly technical and was written in a way that anyone could understand.
I highly recommend this book to every woman out there. This book would benefit those already in a relationship or those just starting out. I believe this book could help a lot of couples struggling to understand each other.
I received this book from Revell for my honest opinion.
I highly recommend this book to every woman out there. This book would benefit those already in a relationship or those just starting out. I believe this book could help a lot of couples struggling to understand each other.
I received this book from Revell for my honest opinion.
August 1, 2016
I was very surprise all the details that the Author had been pull together about the care and feeling of a man, how he thinks, how he acts, how he communicates and how he grows We all know that the human is the most had a complicate for everything in this world and we are had been trying to many way to communicate and make more understanding to each other. It’s was a very new experience for me and I had been learn a lot to getting to know the man that I love and care about him. I hope this book will helping and healing other relationship with everybody else too.
January 25, 2017
I wish I had this book long ago. lol
this book is a really great tool that will help you understand your husband, boyfriend, brother or friend a little bit more. It’s not a perfect magic book that will give you all the answers, but it’s really helpful. It is well written and easy to understand and read. You’ll go through it really fast.
And, if you are a wannabe writer like me (lol), its great for research.
This book was given to me by Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group in exchange of an honest review.
this book is a really great tool that will help you understand your husband, boyfriend, brother or friend a little bit more. It’s not a perfect magic book that will give you all the answers, but it’s really helpful. It is well written and easy to understand and read. You’ll go through it really fast.
And, if you are a wannabe writer like me (lol), its great for research.
This book was given to me by Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group in exchange of an honest review.
August 11, 2016
I Wish He Had Come With Instructions is an interesting book. I learned a lot and gave me some things to think about. Recommended
4 stars
4 stars
September 19, 2016
Do I have a better understanding of the men in my life and how they think? Maybe.
Did I want to argue and disagree a lot? Maybe.
Will I try some of his suggestions? Definitely.
Did I want to argue and disagree a lot? Maybe.
Will I try some of his suggestions? Definitely.
March 27, 2017
Fantastic. Insightful. This has already helped me to better understand my husband's perspective and how to modify my language to better communicate with him. The male and female brains actually process information differently; the simplified version is that the female brain has more "white" matter and makes more connections, while the male brain has more "gray" matter, tending to focus on only one thing at a time. It explains so much in my world. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is frustrated with "man-planning" or who has communication difficulties with a man in their life!
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