I Want You to Be: On the God of Love

by Tomáš Halík, Gerald Turner (Translator)

In his two previous books translated into English, Patience with God and Night of the Confessor, best-selling Czech author and theologian Tomáš Halík focused on the relationship between faith and hope. Now, in I Want You to Be, Halík examines the connection between faith and love, meditating on a statement attributed to St. Augustine—amo, volo ut sis, “I love you: I want you to be”—and its importance for contemporary Christian practice. Halík suggests that because God is not an object, love for him must be expressed through love of human beings. He calls for Christians to avoid isolating themselves from secular modernity and recommends instead that they embrace an active and loving engagement with nonbelievers through acts of servitude. At the same time, Halík critiques the drive for mere material success and suggests that love must become more than a private virtue in contemporary society. I Want You to Be considers the future of Western society, with its strong division between Christian and secular traditions, and recommends that Christians think of themselves as partners with nonbelievers. Halik’s distinctive style is to present profound insights on religious themes in an accessible way to a lay audience. As in previous books, this volume links spiritual and theological/philosophical topics with a tentative diagnosis of our times. This is theology written on one’s knees; Halik is as much a spiritual writer as a theologian. I Want You to Be will interest both general and scholarly readers interested in questions of secularism and Christianity in modern life.

Genres: Theology, Religion, Nonfiction, Christianity, Spirituality, Philosophy

194 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Tomáš Halík is a Czech public intellectual, Roman Catholic priest, and scholar.

Reviews

[Diana Willemsen · Rating 2 out of 5]

“Ik ben er echter geleidelijk van overtuigd geraakt dat God eerder tot ons komt in een vraag dan in een antwoord.”

Mooi zo, laat maar komen die vragen, dacht ik.

En er volgen dan hoofdstukken vol aanzetten tot antwoorden. En geen echte duiding van hoe de juiste vragen te stellen. Het is verder tot de helft van het boek interessant. Zoals:

“drie krachten van de ziel – het geheugen, het intellect en de wil.” Maar ik mis dan een heldere uitwerking. Het boek lijkt vooral in te spelen op het gevoel van de geloofsbeleving en haar rechtvaardiging in het veelvuldig namedroppen.

Op een gegeven moment vliegt de auteur uit de bocht.

“Deze passie is Augustinus met zijn Afrikaanse inborst niet vreemd.” Hoe zou dit bedoeld zijn?! Ik kan er alleen een racistisch stereotype in zien.

En dan dit…

“Zonder deze ervaring – de vrucht van de harde jaren – kunnen we de God van het christelijk geloof makkelijk verwarren met een van de banale goden die in religieuze winkels tegenwoordig overal te koop worden aangeboden.”

Over welke banale goden heeft hij het dan? Ganesha? Boeddha? Die laatste is geen god overigens. Wat goed begon als respectvol over andersdenkende/andersgelovigen, verzandt dus in vage beschuldigingen en achterhaalde ideeën.

Ik ben gestopt.

[Antonio Malcata · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grande livro!
Sobre o Amor. Amor a Deus, Amor de Deus por nós, Amor ao outro, Amor ao mundo.

Apesar de ter partes desnecessariamente complexas e com demasiadas referências, foi uma ótima leitura.

No fundo, amar é querer que o outro seja.

[Mlie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tomas Halik is een Tsjechische monnik, die zelf ergens zweeft tussen geloof en ongeloof (en daardoor heel interessant is). Hij schrijft wat theoretisch/stroef vind ik vaak (sorry, of het is de vertaling), ik was het ook niet altijd 'eens' met dit boek, maar er stonden zeker veel prikkelende & heel interessante uitspraken in (waarmee ik het soms juist ook ontzettend eens was). Ik heb dit boek ooit cadeau gekregen van iemand, dus ik kon er lekker veel in onderstrepen/bijschrijven.

Daardoor voelde het echt een beetje alsof ik met dit boek in gesprek was en daarvoor is het heel geschikt. Veel interessante observaties over de maatschappij, bijvoorbeeld over narcisme, het modernisme, tolerantie, nationalisme, religieus fundamentalisme, de liefde (en wat dit nou echt praktisch inhoudt, niet het romantische beeld daarvan), de dood en hoe je een waardevol leven kunt leven. Ik vond vooral het middenstuk erg interessant. Bij de uiteindes worstelde ik wat meer.

[Tammi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Het lezen van dit boek was een prachtige natuurwandeling, met jammer genoeg net voor het einde toch een paardenvijg op het pad...

"Dat is ook de reden waarom een liefdesrelatie tussen mensen van hetzelfde geslacht - met alle respect voor de emotionele waarde ervan - nooit dezelfde waarde kan hebben als de verbintenis van een man met een vrouw."

Deze zin valt naar mijn gevoel in de categorie van "ik ben geen racist, maar...". In een boek over nota bene de liefde begrijp ik niet dat de auteur een bepaalde liefde devalueert ten opzichte van een andere vorm.

Met alle respect, maar dat is absurd. Hoe ik het had begrepen en ook geloof is dat alle liefde immers God is die aan het werk is. Daar waar liefde is, is God. God is niet hier meer aan het werk dan daar.

[Jitse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prachtig boek!

[Teresa Dominguez-Piedade (book.indulgence) · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's quite dense and, in parts, repetitive, but it added a lot to my reflections on love in a spiritual context. Plus, several parts can be transposed to a lay experience.
Some takeaways, in no particular order of importance or originality:
- The death of God announced by Nietzsche as a liberating moment for the Christian faith, through the death of the banal God.
- Love as an end in itself, maturity free from emotion.
- The opposite of love is not hate, it's self-love. The opposite of faith is not atheism, but self-deification.
- Reading the Bible as a source of questions, not answers: how much better the world would be.
- Remembering Samuel, awakened three times until he realized it was the voice of God calling.
- You can't see God any more than you can see light. Only things illuminated by light. "In the middle of the night, thirst itself is the light that leads us to the springs of water."
- Check more about Saint John of the Cross.
- Research the Zen method of prayer.
(I'll always read anything with a foreword by José Tolentino Mendonça, but religious philosophy isn't exactly what I'd recommend for vacation reading (😅) - this one was pending from maternity leave...)

[Robert D. Cornwall · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the third book by Tomas Halik I've read. This one explores love, specifically in relationshiptoGod. I find him to be insightful and inspiring. I highly recommend this and other books by him.

[Carlijn Van Der Hart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Uit de eerste driekwart heel veel overgeschreven en echt heel veel aan gehad: over liefde, religie en humanistiek. Het laatste deel was worstelen, sloot minder aan en het was ook wel heel veel. Toch geef ik het 5 sterren omdat het grotendeels enorm aansluit bij mijn geloof en ik vind dat het bijna een mustread is voor kritische christenen. Het is trouwens niet voor niets dat ik maanden bezig ben geweest in dit boek: het is stof om op te kauwen

[Aubrie Hatch · Rating 3 out of 5]

i have officially finished reading for my last theology class this semester. the last chapter we read was over loving our enemies. quite possibly the only useful information i’ve gained from reading this painful book. i am choosing to love my enemy, my professor. despite the many books i was forced to purchase and read, i am choosing to tolerate my enemy (love is too much to ask for) in the closing of this chapter on my life, i chose to ask myself “why?” why am i forced to take this class? only god knows. one of the biggest mysteries of life. god is agape and go bears.

[Loren · Rating 4 out of 5]

great and profound until he talks about sex

[D.J. Lang · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let me start with the "Mom" question first. This was written by a Czech philosopher and theologian (and translated into English by Gerald Turner) so, no, my mom would not read this book.

How did I come across this book? I was reading How to Inhabit Time by James K.A. Smith and he thanks a friend for giving him this book. The quoted passage and title were enough to entice me to buy the book. It's thin, and as far as I know, translated well. I read a little each night, and a little is enough to ponder (see "philosopher and theologian" up above).

What to say about the book? This is challenging question to answer succinctly and with clarity. The number of books written about love are so many that "love" seems commonplace. Yet, Halík takes the topic on by delving deeply into the mystery of the love of God who wants us to be, who wants us to love our enemies (and certainly Halík must know something about enemies). Halík also praises Nietzsche, yes, praises him for raising questions and proclaiming "the death of what people had loaded onto the word God" (170).

I randomly flipped to a page (104) and came across "What can bring about the true conversion and healing of the culture of narcissism and its human products? The answer is easy, though hard to achieve: humility and love. Narcissists are in thrall to their illusions and instinctively fear the truth and real life. Humility is the courage to confront the truth....[and more]".

A reader mentioned wonderful passages and then "what is he saying passages?" Yes, sometimes I felt that way, too. Still, I'm going to reread the book. It's that type of book.

Another reader mentions the book is good except when Halík discusses sex. Halík is a priest, and maybe he could have left some parts out of this book, but in context, I think at least one of the discussions was thought-provoking. When I read it, I thought of Justin Welby (Archbishop of Canterbury) who found himself hated (wait, do the English "hate"?) on both sides of the fence recently. There are readers who will read portions of Halík's book and say, "You horrible man! You side with 'them'" and the 'thems' will say, "You horrible man! You side with 'those people'" -- what does it mean when all the different groups of enemies think you are one with their enemy? I hope it is that Halík is *"living in the house of his own proclamation". I also don't have to agree with everything a writer writes to be able to learn from the writer and enjoy the book (and until I work through some of the pages, there will be portions that I don't know whether I agree or disagree...and, frankly, does it matter if I still have questions...that might be the sign of a good book).

* I associate this saying with Dallas Willard. I have been unable to track down who first said it.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

The subject of love is always timely, but also always difficult to address without, as Halik notes, falling into cheap sentiment or distant abstraction. He largely manages to avoid both pitfalls here. At one point, he says that the opposite of love is not hate but self-love. This was a helpful comment, for it focuses on the roots of hatred (and other types of negative responses to people). I am especially grateful for his chapter on love as fundamental to our relations with God and others, as well as his chapter on loving enemies.

In the former, he centers his understanding of our relations to God and others around the statement: "I want you to be." In this, we find that the fundamental question is not whether God or our neighbor actually exists. Rather, the question for us is whether we take joy in the existence of another. Only then, only in love, can that person be fully and freely themselves in relationship with me.

In the latter chapter on enemies, Halik speaks clearly of the challenge implicit in Jesus' words. But what I most appreciated was his idea that when I am confronted with enemy-like behavior and the negative feelings and responses come, I don't have to own or identify with those responses. Instead, he counsels us to seek to look at those responses in a more detached or objective fashion, to examine them as if "from afar" and in so doing, to keep them at a remove from the core of our identities.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't say how much I appreciate Halik's generous tone toward those who don't identify with Christianity--not because he wouldn't like those people to be Christians, but rather because he respects them as human beings and believes that he has much to learn from them in all areas of life.

[Mirjam Bos · Rating 3 out of 5]

Zo aan het eind zou ik met geen mogelijkheid kunnen navertellen waar dit boek precies over gaat. Liefde in ieder geval... het was dan ook moeilijk te begrijpen en de schrijfstijl en het woordgebruik zijn voor mij een niveau te hoog. Toch heb ik er mooie dingen uitgehaald. Sommige zinnen hebben echt indruk op me gemaakt. Het boek staat nu dan ook vol met gemarkeerde stukjes tekst. Aan het eind was ik de draad wel echt kwijt

‘Christen worden betekent niet het omarmen van een of andere ‘wereldoriëntatie’, maar het liefhebben van God.’

[Marije · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the 30% I understood. The other 70% made me think: “What does he mean?”, “how did he get to this conclusion?” and “I have no idea what these words mean or who these people are”.

Apart from that a cool collection of pretty lines and philosophical ideas. A bit too philosophical for my taste, however.

[Passoca Freitas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Livro muito bom, preenchido com referências filosóficas. Bem argumentado, bem detalhado e bem comunicado. Esperava menos e, também esperava que seria mais simples, portanto demorei muito além do esperado pra terminar a leitura. Não é um texto fácil, tive de me esforçar pra ler, mas valeu cada parágrafo.

[Caat · Rating 2 out of 5]

Er staan een paar mooie teksten in. Die ga ik zeker overnemen. Maar als je me zou vragen wat Halík met dit boek wil zeggen, moet ik je het antwoord schuldig blijven. Geen idee wat zijn punt is.

[Fábio Pedro · Rating 3 out of 5]

Um bom livro para reflectir sobre o amor.

[Jose Vicente · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book presents wide perspective about faith, eternity and mainly love before God and our neighbour.

[Rene Verweg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amo Volo, Ut Sis

[Brother Gregory Rice, SOLT · Rating 4 out of 5]

Provoking but compelling.

[Dafne Flego · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm grateful I've encountered Halik's writing. I haven't read nonfiction at all up until a few years ago, and so I am still amazed at reading a nonfiction theology book (!) - let alone reading it with genuine delight. I've been actively looking forward to reading this book after getting back from work.

Most of Halik's writing seems to possess this wonderful Chestertonian quality - it simply makes sense, to me, at least.

I've grown convinced that God, being All-Creative as well as Almighty, has a distinct pathway to (w)holiness for each of us. Oftentimes, when reading religious content, I feel myself falling short. Some of the things I read do not align with my own inner feeling, my own intuition. 'I must be in the wrong, then.'
But when I read Halik, his own conclusions and propositions resonate with me - with my own observations and half-baked thinking. It is as if God uses his writing to confirm the legitimacy of my own understanding. I am grateful.

I am also disconcerted, to a degree. This particular book grabbed and shook some of my presumptions, and left me reeling for a while.

Which is good. Growth tends to be uncomfortable - just ask any baby cutting teeth.

[Timothy Hoiland · Rating 4 out of 5]

“When Jesus spoke about loving one’s enemies, he used a fairly provocative statement that was intended to arouse consciences lulled by stereotypically repeated clichés and half-truths about people who are ‘different’ and to unsettle our seeming certainties about who ‘we’ and ‘they’ are, how we are and they are, what we are supposed to think about ‘foreigners,’ and how we are to treat them. If we have felt the need to replace Jesus’s enacting requirement with the softer word tolerance, doesn’t that indicate that we’re still running away from what Jesus expects from his followers?” – Tomáš Halík

[David Ferreira Alves · Rating 4 out of 5]

Um livro sobre uma temática difícil, o Amor de Deus. Muito bem estruturado e escrito. Denso mas com simplicidade de escrita para um leigo como eu.
Cada capítulo merece um intervalo de reflexão e pensamento. Um tratado sobre Amor e a nossa condição humana.
Recomendo.

[Micah Latty · Rating 5 out of 5]

An exceptionally graceful (in style and substance) series of reflections on Christian thought and life.