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When Your Soulmate Dies: A Guide to Healing Through Heroic Mourning

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You were one of the lucky ones. You found a partner or friend with whom you shared a deeply profound connection. You understood, opened fully to, served, and challenged one another. You were the heroes of each other’s lives. You lived a grand adventure together. But now that your partner has died, what felt like luck may have turned to wretched despair. How do you go on? How do you live without your champion and other half? The answer is that you mourn as you heroically, grandly, and fully. In this compassionate guide by one of the world’s most beloved grief counselors, you’ll find empathetic affirmation and advice intermingled with real-life stories from other halved soulmates. Learn to honor your loved one and your grief even as you find a path to a renewed life of purpose and joy.

160 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 1, 2016

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Alan D. Wolfelt

128 books65 followers

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5 stars
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45 (26%)
3 stars
17 (10%)
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4 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
8 reviews
March 3, 2021
Very Disappointed!



After reading the reviews, I guess I am the odd one out. There is no comfort in this book for me...In fact I had several problems with it;
1—He should have titled the book, “When your SOULMATE HUSBAND dies,” because most of his references are from grieving widows, which I find degrading and insulting since I am a grieving husband and Soulmate.
2—He used several pages to tell me the obvious, like he’s talking to a child. I need to REALIZE my wife is dead? Believe me, I understood the fact, the minute I hung up the phone. The most traumatic blow I’ve ever experienced. After 25 years of marriage, I knew the reality that my soulmate was Gone! If it takes a year for to you to KNOW your spouse is dead...you really need a psychiatrist?
3.—He says that if I believe I still have a relationship with my wife, since she died, (and I do) that I am “fooling” myself,) and that I should “put her softly in the background.” How dare he! He obviously does not know anything about TRUE Soulmates!
4–Letters? The author developed his research from letters? Did Wolfelt not actually “talk” to grieving soulmates? Did he interpret his conclusions from writing only... did he not look into the eyes of a “soulmate who was grieving? Did he ask questions, listen to explanations of daily grief?
5–There may be 3 soulmates for other people out there, but there was only 1 for me. And there will never be another, at least not for me.
What a let down!
Profile Image for Donna.
1,313 reviews11 followers
April 12, 2021
Just finished reading the book “WHEN YOUR SOULMATE DIES - A GUIDE TO HEALING THROUGH HEROIC MOURNING“ by ALAN D. WOLFELT, PH.D. You were one of the lucky ones. You found a partner or friend with whom you shared a deeply profound connection. You understood, opened fully to, served, and challenged one another. You were the heroes of each other’s lives. You lived a grand adventure together. But now that your partner has died, what felt like luck may have turned to wretched despair. How do you go on? How do you live without your champion and other half? The answer is that you mourn as you loved: heroically, grandly, and fully. In this compassionate guide by one of the world’s most beloved grief counselors, you’ll find empathetic affirmation and advice intermingled with real-life stories from other halved soulmates. Learn to honor your loved one and your grief even as you find a path to a renewed life of purpose and joy. I found out by reading this that all the different emotions I’ve been going through are normal.
Profile Image for Treva.
625 reviews
December 14, 2021
Received this book from a friend whose husband died five years earlier. It has taken me close to a year before I felt I could read it. Most of the book I found repetitive from materials I had read from a Stephens minister.

There was one part that I really identified with though - pages 105 - 106. I feel badly for my husband, that he is not around to share in the life that I continue to live. He would so enjoy his children and grandchildren. He would have been amazed at how loved he was by the many friends he had and how many lives he touched. That is when my heart aches.
Profile Image for KaToiri Santi.
19 reviews1 follower
August 6, 2024
I wish I would’ve read this book sooner. Granted, I might’ve read it at the perfect time I needed to because it wasn’t triggering for me. From reading this book, I realized how powerful my practices were that were discussed in this book in which I also practiced prior to reading this book. I had already done all the steps the book asked of me but they mentioned other ways of coping I’m not familiar with. I’d recommend this book for anyone lost in grief trying to search for ways to healthily deal with grief. I’m thankful for the prayers I sent up to God about my soulmate which made me get over things properly. There is a wrong way to grieve and I recommend reading this book before taking that route. Phenomenal read !!!
17 reviews
July 6, 2020
Understanding

I lost my soulmate 2yrs ago. 24\7 for 43yrs. Because of 19virus, I 've lost my volunteering job. I had nothing to divert my attention until I pick up this book.
First Wolfelt acknowledges there truly is a soulmate and how truly blessed we are to have had one. He explains why grief is so so hard to work through. He takes us through useful steps. This book helps...widow-ing is just so damn hard but....Wolfelt gives good direction.
1 review
May 18, 2019
So helpful in my grieving process

This book is well written. Easy to follow. Helpful in explaining the grief process and allowing people to accept where they are in that process. I highly recommend it for anyone who lost a loved one they considered their soul mate. He took my thoughts and put them into words.
1 review
June 3, 2019
Clearly the best he has written--I have read most of his books--this is spot on if your were fortunate to have a "Soulmate" This is the book to have on your bed stand . Prepare to do some serious sobbing because "Wolfelt" will definitely press all of your "Soulmate" buttons. Highly Recommend! Col.B
310 reviews1 follower
April 22, 2018
This is an excellent book for anyone grieving their soulmate. It was very helpful. I will be re-reading it many times.
154 reviews19 followers
October 16, 2018
Grief

This book was one of the best that I have read on this subject and that is saying a lot because I've read over a dozen. I put it in the top two.
Profile Image for Joni Sensel.
Author 17 books45 followers
January 7, 2021
The first, and the best, of many, many grief support books I read following a major loss. Can't recommend it or Wolfelt's other titles enough.
8 reviews
May 22, 2022
Well written

I plan and anticipate going back and reading this book and it will help me to heroically mourn. Thank you
1 review
September 18, 2022
a must read to help you tremendously

I truly enjoyed reading this book when losing my soulmate to death. In my personal preference I didn’t want to do counseling right away and rather cope and read about it for my own comfort of trying to get myself out there and seek for the right understanding counselor for me. I loved reading about how I can heal and overcome the loss and pain within. This book allowed me to read along at my pace vs the pace of others would want you to go without understanding your intense emotions and feelings of your lost soulmate. This book helped me guide myself within my grieving process and also taught me heroic ways to mourn in healthy matters of this tragic lost. I am beyond grateful and thankful for this book written. It helped me through my journey of loving and finding myself again how my soulmate would want me to, and continue to express that love to them, myself and others. Thank you!
Profile Image for Dodi Lochridge.
9 reviews
December 7, 2022
Alan really highlights aspects of losing a soul mate which are spot on in my experience. Highly recommend.
Profile Image for Layla Gravely.
3 reviews
March 16, 2023
I read this book soon after my husband past. It was a life saver. Gave me the strength and knowledge to grief in my own way and allow myself to do it in my own time.
Profile Image for Anastasia.
332 reviews
June 1, 2025
This book was not helpful to me. The content was very basic common sense and I did not find any advice that will help me process my grief and move forward. My search for support continues.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews

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