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How to Talk to Anyone: 62 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
How to Talk to Anyone: 62 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
Audiobook
First published December 1, 2003
About the author
Leil Lowndes
144 books510 followersLeil Lowndes is an author and internationally recognized communications expert who specializes in subconscious interactions. She has conducted hundreds of seminars in the US and around the world for major corporations, associations, and the general public, and frequently appears as a guest expert on national television shows and major news networks. She has authored ten bestselling books on communications — most recently, How to Talk to Anyone at Work: 72 Little Tricks for Big Success Communicating on the Job — and is published in over 26 foreign languages. She lives in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 223 reviews
September 30, 2022
I wasn't even going to put this on Goodreads because it's super short and kind of embarrassing, but I had to come here and give it 1 star because it was *comically* bad. There is literally a tip in here about women smiling more, especially to men. The author's narration is also probably the worst I've ever heard. This is a 3 hour audiobook and I couldn't get through more than half of it.
July 1, 2017
This book should be titled "How to be an A**hole". I honestly cannot believe that I actually finished it. If it was not checked out from the library I would have burned it or returned it.
As an actual review: There are some tips in here for making people feel more comfortable or open with you, however, most are here to try to trick people into giving you what you want, and that is how they are framed by the author.
As an actual review: There are some tips in here for making people feel more comfortable or open with you, however, most are here to try to trick people into giving you what you want, and that is how they are framed by the author.
Read
March 16, 2024How to Talk to Anyone
By Leil Lowndes was an interesting read. Prior to seeing this book appear on my feed, I would have never considered it. However, I decided to give it a try, as I minimally enjoy self-help books. However, this book was no, How to Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Yet there were some good tips that could be helpful for a Middle School or H.S. Student for college or job seeking. As some may believe the current generation is lacking basic communication skills, with the overconsumption of social media.
Each lesson is short and easy to follow. Again, Great for younger folks or older who need learn to talk to anyone and can use 62 Tips for Big Success in Relationships. 😊
By Leil Lowndes was an interesting read. Prior to seeing this book appear on my feed, I would have never considered it. However, I decided to give it a try, as I minimally enjoy self-help books. However, this book was no, How to Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Yet there were some good tips that could be helpful for a Middle School or H.S. Student for college or job seeking. As some may believe the current generation is lacking basic communication skills, with the overconsumption of social media.
Each lesson is short and easy to follow. Again, Great for younger folks or older who need learn to talk to anyone and can use 62 Tips for Big Success in Relationships. 😊
Read
March 13, 2024Okay this is like manipulator's guidebook lowkey. And most of them are kinda intuitive. Like I am pretty sure I already knew it was good to compliment someone, but this nice reassurance at least, lol.
May 26, 2026
4.5 ⭐️- in 2026 I want to be a better conversationalist!
September 1, 2019
The book is awkwardly comical! But to me, some of the "tricks" are also very useful and inspiring. I learned a lot.
Below are a few of my favorite suggestions from the author.
April 2, 2024
Short book with a few practical tips for becoming a more interesting and engaging conversationalist. I am sure most of the tips were great but unfortunately the outdated language, tone, and stories made this one tough to take in. To be honest, I was waiting for her to refer to women as dames or legs as gams. The overall tone made me think I was sitting in a cigar bar wearing my favorite fedora while listening to a lounge singer talk about her main squeeze between songs. This one could really use an update as it uses quite a few words with regularity that simply no longer mean what they used to mean. (I'll leave it at that.)
I listened to this one on audio which was read by the author. To be honest, the whole tone of the audio comes across as smug and condescending. She even roasts some of her own friends in order to make a point here and there. Unfortunate.
If you can get past the awkward word choice and dated anecdotes, some of the actual tips are pretty useful. Suffice it to say, control your face, take interest in people, and speak with confidence. Do these things and you'll be a winner! On the other hand, some of them read as straight up manipulation tactics. I'd try to avoid those. Good luck out there.
I listened to this one on audio which was read by the author. To be honest, the whole tone of the audio comes across as smug and condescending. She even roasts some of her own friends in order to make a point here and there. Unfortunate.
If you can get past the awkward word choice and dated anecdotes, some of the actual tips are pretty useful. Suffice it to say, control your face, take interest in people, and speak with confidence. Do these things and you'll be a winner! On the other hand, some of them read as straight up manipulation tactics. I'd try to avoid those. Good luck out there.
December 15, 2022
I’m shocked this book was published less than 20 years ago. The advice is suited for 19 century cotillion training, not real life businesses or social situations. And the “slang” the author uses (in earnest)? Boner = mistake. Puss = face. It’s not like I’m a 12 year old boy but can we all agree that common usage of these words has evolved (or more accurately, devolved) and these are dated and distracting references?
December 1, 2024
Hilariously bad, especially the audiobook version.
January 23, 2024
2.5⭐️ Comically bad audiobook delivery, dated, and a smidge manipulative, but it was so dang short and there were a few useful tips, that I can’t dismiss the entire book just because it felt like a slightly creepy networking book for business majors.
July 20, 2025
Very insightful book.. It’s a slow read if you want to get anything from it.. Great for people in business..
December 16, 2025
I listened to it, and some of the things on here were good reminders. Keyword: SOME
January 14, 2026
this was not at all helpful like i had hoped as someone who is terrible at small talk lol
January 24, 2026
some stuff was not revolutionary but it was fun to learn some new things
February 6, 2024
I did not care for this book. The title is misleading, being more about how to manipulate people into giving you what you want and less about how to have conversations with people you don't know very well. I'm sure someone would find a few helpful tips, but overall, this book felt like a really outdated and patronizing excuse for the author to name drop and show off how fabulous her life is.
July 7, 2023
This book is more about how to manipulate people into liking you, which, call me crazy, is weird.
There were some good tips, none which I can remember, but reading this was just so off putting. I would only recommend this to business majors because manipulation seems right up their alley ! <3
There were some good tips, none which I can remember, but reading this was just so off putting. I would only recommend this to business majors because manipulation seems right up their alley ! <3
May 21, 2026
I listened to this on audiobook bc it was recommended on instagram reels. Mostly it’s a waste of time and a list of ways to be manipulative and/or mask neurodivergent traits. There are like 2/62 tips that fall into the category of genuinely useful, kind conversational skills/lessons. And those were covered in the reel. Everything else is either the most banal common sense observations or scary Machiavellian business people shit.
February 11, 2022
There's not much more that I can say that other one-star reviews haven't. I can summarize the book for you: here's how to absolutely be anyone but yourself while manipulating everyone around you. By far the worst book I've ever read. I cringed through the whole thing. My next TBR is at an unfair advantage over others I'll read this year after reading this book. Don't waste your time.
January 8, 2025
My new year resolution includes reading more educational/“self help” books. I picked this one first because it was the shortest. However it was completely outdated and even tone deaf. I zoned out about 90% of the book. Not helpful at all. Looking into it, I think there’s an updated version so maybe I should’ve read that one ?
November 27, 2023
Some interesting ideas but i’m not sure I would recommend it. This book has some interesting tips for being a better conversationalist and maybe for interviews and it wasn’t bad but not insanely you have to read this now.
January 30, 2024
2.5 stars. I didn’t gain much from this book. I’d guess this was written for an audience that has very little social skills. The only thing I think I gained is some reinforcement of skills I’ve already learned through being social.
April 19, 2025
This was recommended in an NYT article, but I should have read the Goodreads reviews first. It is really corny at best, and weirdly manipulative at worst. Reached 77% and quit. But I'm behind in my reading goal so I'm counting it!
February 8, 2026
I’ve been trying to consume more non fiction via audio books so I thought this would an easy one for my husband and I to listen to. It was not good. I mean, some tips were interesting but her lingo is so outdated and I think the tips on the book are not super applicable in 2026.
November 19, 2024
This was wildly terrible and has not aged well. Advising women to “smile more” with men was frustrating advice to hear.
Read
March 15, 2025So bad. Should have checked reviews before reading.
April 17, 2025
this is a lot of info...i think i need more people to talk to to practice.
September 25, 2025
Awful yet a short audiobook.
May 28, 2026
You can tell it's bad if I'm being compelled to read this. But tbh, some of these were actually useful.
April 4, 2026
MY NOTES
Part 1: How to Intrigue Everyone Without Saying a Word
The Flooding Smile: Don’t smile instantly; let a big, warm, responsive smile slowly "flood" your face.
Sticky Eyes: Maintain strong eye contact even after someone finishes speaking to show intense interest.
Epoxy Eyes: In a group, keep looking at the person you’re interested in, even when others are speaking.
Hang by Your Teeth: Visualize a bit between your teeth pulling you upward to maintain perfect, confident posture.
The Big-Baby Pivot: Give people your total physical body turn and undivided attention as if they were a toddler.
Hello Old Friend: Imagine everyone you meet is an old friend to instantly trigger warm, relaxed body language.
Limit the Fidget: Avoid scratching or twitching; steady hands and eyes project high status and calmness.
Hans’s Horse Sense: Watch people’s reactions while you speak; adjust your delivery based on their silent body language.
Watch the Scene Before You Make the Scene: Visualize yourself being the "master of the room" before entering a social event.
Part 2: How to Know What to Say After You Say "Hello"
The Mood Match: Match the speaker’s energy level and emotional state before you try to change it.
Prosaic Portraits: Use interesting, vivid descriptions of your life instead of boring, one-word answers.
The Parrot: Repeat the last few words your partner said to keep them talking effortlessly.
Encore!: If someone told a great story previously, ask them to "tell that story about..." for the group.
Ac-cen-tu-ate the Positive: Focus on positive news first; save any "downers" for much later in the conversation.
The Latest News: Read the news before a party so you always have fresh "hot topics" to discuss.
The Killer Quick Query: Ask "How do you spend most of your time?" instead of "What do you do?"
The Nutshell Resume: Tailor your professional description to benefit the specific person you are currently talking to.
Your Personal Thesaurus: Look up common words you use and replace them with more sophisticated, descriptive synonyms.
Kill the Quick "Me Too!": Wait before sharing your similar experience to let the other person enjoy their moment.
The Commensality Commense: Use the "Commensality" trick by sharing food or drink to bond more quickly.
Part 3: How to Talk Like a VIP
The Swiveling Spotlight: Keep the focus on the other person; become a "word-reflector" of their interests.
Parrot-Phrasing: Restate their sentiments in your own words to prove you truly understand their perspective.
Emphasize the "You": Start sentences with "you" instead of "I" to make the listener feel important.
The Exclusive Smile: Give different people slightly different smiles so they feel their connection with you is unique.
Don’t Use "I Know": Even if you know, let the other person explain to avoid sounding arrogant. Say, "You're right."
The Sneaky Compliment: Mention a positive trait about someone to a third party so it gets back to them.
The Killer Compliment: Give a specific, heartfelt compliment on a trait the person clearly worked hard to develop.
Little Strokes: Use small, frequent verbal nods like "I see" or "exactly" to encourage the speaker.
The Knee-Jerk Wow: React with immediate (but brief) enthusiasm when someone shares a personal success.
The Tombstone Game: Ask yourself what you want people to say about you at your funeral to guide behavior.
Part 4: How to Be an Insider in Any Crowd
Open Body Language: Keep your torso open and arms uncrossed to appear approachable and honest.
The Social Plastic: Be flexible; if a conversation isn't working, gracefully pivot to a new topic or person.
The Scuttlebutt: Avoid gossip; being the person who doesn't dish "dirt" makes you the most trusted person.
The Post-Post-Script: Mention a detail from a past conversation to prove you value what they say.
The Play-by-Play: Narrate what you are doing if you are on a call so they don't feel ignored.
The Euphemism: Use "professional" or "softened" words for sensitive subjects to maintain a high-class vibe.
Part 5: How to Sound Like Their "Kind"
The Echo: Use the specific nouns and verbs the other person uses to build instant rapport.
Potent Pausing: Pause before answering a question to make your response seem more thoughtful and deliberate.
The Visualizer: Use "visual" words with visual people and "feeling" words with kinesthetic people.
The We-Spective: Use "we" and "us" to create an instant sense of teamwork and shared history.
Part 6: How to Work a Party Like a Politician
The Grapevine Glory: Tell someone’s boss or spouse how great they are; it’s more powerful than direct praise.
The Carrier Pigeon: Be the person who carries "good news" from one person to another.
The First Five Minutes: Your impact is decided immediately; bring your highest energy to the first five minutes.
The Sticky Note: Remember one tiny, specific "sticky" detail about every person you meet.
The Card-Tender: Take business cards seriously; look at them carefully before putting them away respectfully.
Part 7: Directing the Conversation (The "Little Tricks")
The Broken Record: If someone keeps pushing a sensitive topic, repeat your same polite refusal exactly.
The Big Score: If someone does you a huge favor, don't just say "thanks"—show them the "score."
The Butter-Up: Compliment someone’s "hidden" talent rather than their obvious, frequently praised one.
The Gratitude Check: Send a "thank you" note for small things to stand out from the crowd.
The Lunch-Hour Lesson: Use your lunch break to learn something new to bring back to the table.
The Professional Ploy: Ask for a small professional "tip" to make the expert feel valued.
The Safe Smile: Smile with your eyes, not just your mouth, to ensure the expression looks genuine.
Part 8: Advanced Rapport & Respect
The Pre-Emptive Strike: If you made a mistake, admit it fully and quickly before they can bring it up.
The Iron-Clad Alibi: Never blame others; take responsibility for your "mess" to project strength and integrity.
The "Check-In": Follow up on a personal struggle someone mentioned a week later to show real care.
The Name-Drop: Use their name occasionally in conversation, but don't overdo it or it feels "salesy."
The "No-Um" Rule: Eliminate filler words; silence is always more powerful than "um" or "uh."
The Listening Post: Actively listen with your whole body, nodding and leaning in slightly.
The Eye-Contact Exit: Keep eye contact for a second longer as you walk away to leave a lasting impression.
The Humor Bridge: Use self-deprecating humor to put others at ease, but never mock others.
The "Wait for the Wave": Don’t interrupt; wait for the natural ebb in their speech before contributing.
The Final Impression: People remember the beginning and the end; leave on a high, warm note.
Part 1: How to Intrigue Everyone Without Saying a Word
The Flooding Smile: Don’t smile instantly; let a big, warm, responsive smile slowly "flood" your face.
Sticky Eyes: Maintain strong eye contact even after someone finishes speaking to show intense interest.
Epoxy Eyes: In a group, keep looking at the person you’re interested in, even when others are speaking.
Hang by Your Teeth: Visualize a bit between your teeth pulling you upward to maintain perfect, confident posture.
The Big-Baby Pivot: Give people your total physical body turn and undivided attention as if they were a toddler.
Hello Old Friend: Imagine everyone you meet is an old friend to instantly trigger warm, relaxed body language.
Limit the Fidget: Avoid scratching or twitching; steady hands and eyes project high status and calmness.
Hans’s Horse Sense: Watch people’s reactions while you speak; adjust your delivery based on their silent body language.
Watch the Scene Before You Make the Scene: Visualize yourself being the "master of the room" before entering a social event.
Part 2: How to Know What to Say After You Say "Hello"
The Mood Match: Match the speaker’s energy level and emotional state before you try to change it.
Prosaic Portraits: Use interesting, vivid descriptions of your life instead of boring, one-word answers.
The Parrot: Repeat the last few words your partner said to keep them talking effortlessly.
Encore!: If someone told a great story previously, ask them to "tell that story about..." for the group.
Ac-cen-tu-ate the Positive: Focus on positive news first; save any "downers" for much later in the conversation.
The Latest News: Read the news before a party so you always have fresh "hot topics" to discuss.
The Killer Quick Query: Ask "How do you spend most of your time?" instead of "What do you do?"
The Nutshell Resume: Tailor your professional description to benefit the specific person you are currently talking to.
Your Personal Thesaurus: Look up common words you use and replace them with more sophisticated, descriptive synonyms.
Kill the Quick "Me Too!": Wait before sharing your similar experience to let the other person enjoy their moment.
The Commensality Commense: Use the "Commensality" trick by sharing food or drink to bond more quickly.
Part 3: How to Talk Like a VIP
The Swiveling Spotlight: Keep the focus on the other person; become a "word-reflector" of their interests.
Parrot-Phrasing: Restate their sentiments in your own words to prove you truly understand their perspective.
Emphasize the "You": Start sentences with "you" instead of "I" to make the listener feel important.
The Exclusive Smile: Give different people slightly different smiles so they feel their connection with you is unique.
Don’t Use "I Know": Even if you know, let the other person explain to avoid sounding arrogant. Say, "You're right."
The Sneaky Compliment: Mention a positive trait about someone to a third party so it gets back to them.
The Killer Compliment: Give a specific, heartfelt compliment on a trait the person clearly worked hard to develop.
Little Strokes: Use small, frequent verbal nods like "I see" or "exactly" to encourage the speaker.
The Knee-Jerk Wow: React with immediate (but brief) enthusiasm when someone shares a personal success.
The Tombstone Game: Ask yourself what you want people to say about you at your funeral to guide behavior.
Part 4: How to Be an Insider in Any Crowd
Open Body Language: Keep your torso open and arms uncrossed to appear approachable and honest.
The Social Plastic: Be flexible; if a conversation isn't working, gracefully pivot to a new topic or person.
The Scuttlebutt: Avoid gossip; being the person who doesn't dish "dirt" makes you the most trusted person.
The Post-Post-Script: Mention a detail from a past conversation to prove you value what they say.
The Play-by-Play: Narrate what you are doing if you are on a call so they don't feel ignored.
The Euphemism: Use "professional" or "softened" words for sensitive subjects to maintain a high-class vibe.
Part 5: How to Sound Like Their "Kind"
The Echo: Use the specific nouns and verbs the other person uses to build instant rapport.
Potent Pausing: Pause before answering a question to make your response seem more thoughtful and deliberate.
The Visualizer: Use "visual" words with visual people and "feeling" words with kinesthetic people.
The We-Spective: Use "we" and "us" to create an instant sense of teamwork and shared history.
Part 6: How to Work a Party Like a Politician
The Grapevine Glory: Tell someone’s boss or spouse how great they are; it’s more powerful than direct praise.
The Carrier Pigeon: Be the person who carries "good news" from one person to another.
The First Five Minutes: Your impact is decided immediately; bring your highest energy to the first five minutes.
The Sticky Note: Remember one tiny, specific "sticky" detail about every person you meet.
The Card-Tender: Take business cards seriously; look at them carefully before putting them away respectfully.
Part 7: Directing the Conversation (The "Little Tricks")
The Broken Record: If someone keeps pushing a sensitive topic, repeat your same polite refusal exactly.
The Big Score: If someone does you a huge favor, don't just say "thanks"—show them the "score."
The Butter-Up: Compliment someone’s "hidden" talent rather than their obvious, frequently praised one.
The Gratitude Check: Send a "thank you" note for small things to stand out from the crowd.
The Lunch-Hour Lesson: Use your lunch break to learn something new to bring back to the table.
The Professional Ploy: Ask for a small professional "tip" to make the expert feel valued.
The Safe Smile: Smile with your eyes, not just your mouth, to ensure the expression looks genuine.
Part 8: Advanced Rapport & Respect
The Pre-Emptive Strike: If you made a mistake, admit it fully and quickly before they can bring it up.
The Iron-Clad Alibi: Never blame others; take responsibility for your "mess" to project strength and integrity.
The "Check-In": Follow up on a personal struggle someone mentioned a week later to show real care.
The Name-Drop: Use their name occasionally in conversation, but don't overdo it or it feels "salesy."
The "No-Um" Rule: Eliminate filler words; silence is always more powerful than "um" or "uh."
The Listening Post: Actively listen with your whole body, nodding and leaning in slightly.
The Eye-Contact Exit: Keep eye contact for a second longer as you walk away to leave a lasting impression.
The Humor Bridge: Use self-deprecating humor to put others at ease, but never mock others.
The "Wait for the Wave": Don’t interrupt; wait for the natural ebb in their speech before contributing.
The Final Impression: People remember the beginning and the end; leave on a high, warm note.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 223 reviews