If Pigs Could Fly...and Other Deep Thoughts

by Bruce Lansky, Stephen Carpenter (Illustrator)

Presents a collection of humorous poems, including My Grandma's Teeth, Throne Room, and Dirty Socks..

Genres: Poetry

ebook

Published September 1, 2003

About the author

I was born on June 1, 1941. My first home was an apartment in Manhattan's Upper West Side, a neighborhood that overlooked the George Washington Bridge. Soon after kindergarten, my family moved to Scarsdale, which seemed to be “in the country.” In high school, I broke my ankle when I went out for the lacrosse team, so I wrote a sports column for the school newspaper. I don't think I showed any particular talent for writing then.

I went to St. John's College in Annapolis, Maryland. I actually learned to read Greek (I didn't understand it, though). I transferred from St. John's to New York University, so I could study political science and economics. I graduated with a major in philosophy and a minor in English. My first job was a market researcher for a beer company in New Jersey. Over the next five years, I switched jobs several times: advertising copywriter, advertising account executive, and marketing manager at a candy company.

I married Vicki and we had a baby, Douglas. I wanted him to have a home surrounded by grass and trees and ball fields, so I accepted a job in Minnesota, and Doug got a baby sister, Dana. What rescued me from poverty was that my wife and some other mothers wrote a cookbook. We published it ourselves, and it was a huge hit. That's how I figured out that I wanted to be a publisher when I grew up. We built Meadowbrook Press, and I became an author of baby name books and humor books for adults.

Ten years ago, I wanted to put together a children's book of all the poems they loved best. To find these poems, I tested poems in elementary schools. As I was testing poems on children, I decided to write a few to see what the response would be. At first it wasn't that good, but as my writing improved, I added my poems to new books. To get them just right, I'd rewrite them over and over. I've now edited six poetry anthologies and filled three books with my own poems. Because I spent a lot of time reading and testing poems in classrooms, schools started inviting me to perform. I've now performed at hundreds of schools. My goal to put on the most entertaining, most educational, and most motivating assembly a school has ever had. My web site, http://www.gigglepoetry.com, helps kids discover the fun of reading and writing poetry.

Language arts are a very important part of what you learn in school. You can read great books that take you to far-away lands. You can write your own stories and make yourself the hero of exciting adventures. Even if it seems hard sometimes, don't give up. Keep practicing your reading and writing skills, and soon it will become easier. There are so many wonderful worlds to explore in books and poetry. Get your very own passport by learning to read and write the very best that you can.

Reviews

[Karen Mariot · Rating 5 out of 5]

1. This book is a great collection of funny poems for any age group, there are many different poems about siblings, imagination, school days, animals, parents, time for bed and many more topics that children can relate too.
2. I thought it was perfectly suited for elementary children, my sister in particular loves it. The illustrations are funny and silly, it provides a more descriptive representation of the poems.
3. I would pair this collection with Bruce's "A Bad Case of the Giggles: Kids Favorite Funny Poems".
4. This stanza in the poem "Mind your Manners" can be used to show some rhyming words.
"Don't fight with your brother.
Don't pull the cat's tail.
Don't open your big brother's
personal mail."

[Samantha Gacke]

This poetry books is filled with many different types of poems, including poems about school events and other things that kids experience.

The first poems I read was about love and it completely reminded me of my middle school years. All of the poems are very funny and are easy to relate to considering they involve every day activities. There are also the poems that involve things that aren’t so ordinary, but it helps students use their imagination and their creativity. The pictures are rather plain, but they don’t need to be too extraordinary, because the poems do a great job of creating their own pictures.

[Quanita · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Recommended ages are 3-7
*Summary: If Pigs Could Fly is an excellent book of poems referencing things involve a kid's every day life. It has funny poems about dirty diapers, weird relatives, dirty closes, bad dogs and bad hair days. The book is so cute and it has a poem where the child is describing events that happened the day he was born and what his father did. The book even has a poem about lessons learned and early feelings of love. What stood out to me the most about this book is that all of the pictures are in black and white, but they are in great detail. If Pigs Could Fly, is a book that would be fun to use in introducing poetry in the classroom.

[Amanda M. Lyons · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow, what a terrible book of poetry for kids! I realize children's poetry is intended to be silly but this was just awful! Not only was the writing bad in this book it was also offensive. Anytime a overweight person was referred to in this book it was with insults! How does this present good manners and respect for others to children?

[Ariel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought it was a cute book for kids. The poems are silly and would probably be cathcy for little kids. The poems range from family to hair to dogs, a wide range of different topics kids will find funny and amusing. This would be a fun book to have in a class and read from every once in a while.

[Angelique · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is book full of funny poems for kids. It is perfect for reading aloud. I would recommend this book for middle school students.

Fun fact: This book was nominated for inclusion by 1,000 children.

[Tommy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't recall who gave us this book, but Danny went through a rather lengthy phase of requesting a few poems at bedtime. Now, the boys like to page through and look at the pictures.

[Danny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't recall who gave us this book, but Danny went through a rather lengthy phase of requesting a few poems at bedtime. Now, the boys like to page through and look at the pictures.

[Callie Risse · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book of silly poems would be really useful for a teacher. Poems cover a wide range of subjects, and could be displayed each morning for students to read and discuss (and laugh at!).

[Kevin Evans · Rating 4 out of 5]

These poems can be used to aid students who struggle in some areas. Such as what clothes to wear when it is cold outisde, or how to mind your manners. This is an excelent concept book.

[Larry Madigan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think kids would love this book. The poems are silly and easy to understand. It has funny illustrations, too. The flow could be better in the lines, but it was a fun read.

[Rachel Holloway]

This book is just a collection of silly poems for children to spark their interest in rhyme. I would definitely use this to show my students that writing poetry can be fun.

[Alexis Ramsey]

A collection of funny poems.

[Taryn Dean]

Collection of silly poems.. students will write their own silly poems

[Jazzmyne · Rating 3 out of 5]

If Pigs Could Fly... is a book that combines several funny poems. I would read this book to my students during their down time.

[Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

If Pigs Could Fly...: And Other Deep Thoughts
bruse lansky
the question of philosophies every where if pigs could fly what could happen after that.