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Don't Be a Dick, Pete

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Stuart Heritage got where he is today by being decent, thoughtful, hardworking and kind. He is, in short, a model citizen. The favourite son.

His younger brother Pete is quick-tempered, peevish and aggressively pig-headed and, for a while, known to his friends as 'Shagger'.

But now, Stu has returned to his hometown to discover that Pete has taken his place. Practical and resourceful where Stu is not, Pete has become a shoulder to lean on. He is now undoubtedly the better son. And all at once Pete and Stu have to reevaluate their fraternal dynamic. It should be easy, but it isn't. Because, well ... Pete's a dick.

Don’t Be A Dick, Pete is Stuart Heritage’s unconventional and laugh-out-loud biography of his brother. It is a hilarious examination of home and family; sons, fathers, fatherhood, sibling relationships and how hard it is to move on in a system that’s loaded with several decades of preconceived ideas about you.

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2017

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Stuart Heritage

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5 stars
153 (25%)
4 stars
257 (42%)
3 stars
157 (25%)
2 stars
34 (5%)
1 star
9 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
Profile Image for Nigeyb.
1,476 reviews404 followers
May 4, 2018
A massive doff of the cap to GoodReads friend Mark for this top tip.

'Don't Be a Dick Pete' is very amusing, addictive and enjoyable. I read it in a couple of days.

I had never heard of Stuart Heritage before Mark's recommendation. It turns out he's a TV critic for The Guardian, amongst other things.

'Don't Be a Dick Pete' is the story of Stuart Heritage's relationship with his brother Pete. They are very different and that has been the source of all kinds of disagreements, misunderstandings, arguments and discord.

Firstborn Stuart was always the model child and favourite son: decent, thoughtful, hardworking and kind. He is, in short, a model citizen. His brother Pete was a nightmare from the off: angry, stubborn, and very single-minded.

Both Heritage brothers grew up in Ashford. Pete never left. Stuart returned after a long absence. Stuart discovers a new Pete: successful, capable, and supportive to his ageing parents. Now Stuart has to reevaluate his brother, and their relationship, and that's the starting point for 'Don't Be a Dick Pete'.

It's a lot of fun. Very well written, amusing, a few laugh out loud moments, perceptive, and with many a universal insight and message.

4/5



'Don't Be a Dick Pete' by Stuart Heritage
Profile Image for Athan Tolis.
313 reviews739 followers
June 15, 2017
Thursday nights in my life are dedicated to a friend who’s dealing with the results of a brain haemorrhage some four years ago. He’s my psychologist, basically. I tell him how the week went and he dispenses honest advice. Also, he forgets most things you tell him, unless they are very important.

So he can tell you that the country is run, for lack of a better word, by Theresa May, but he does not care to do the work to tell you who visited him earlier today. Or if his mom’s in town. Or what exhibition she wheeled him to earlier that day.

And his humor has taken a radical turn toward the scatological. As has his memory. I visited him the other day and there was a hole in my trousers that we agreed we’d call the “gav” (spelled backwards). The doctors insist he’s got no short term memory, but the next time I visited, this time in perfectly new trousers, his first question was “where’s the gav?” (spelled backwards).

This book is tailor-made for him. I’ll bet you he’ll at some point be able to recite it from memory. There is even a chapter about how both heros in the book, author Stuart Heritage and his brother (and the subject of the book) Pete once managed to soil themselves. I think my buddy will suffer a full fifteen minutes of binary arithmetic with me (that’s something else we’ve started doing together recently) if I promise to read him that chapter again.

The profanity, most of the time attributed to the author’s brother, is in a league that probably excludes women from comfortably reading the book, but I could not have enough of it. It’s at times a proper torrent of obscenity, and the book is all the better for it. That’s how we all think and that’s how we’d all love to talk, and it’s incredibly funny, besides.

It’s also a very human, a very loving book. Skit after skit of what could easily be the material for a couple stand-up shows at the Apollo, you find yourself re-living your childhood, all those times you really, honestly, wanted to kill your brother whom you probably love more than anybody else on earth. All those times when he annoyed you or you framed him or embarrassed him and that you can now talk about and have a laugh about. If you’re a guy and you have a brother, none of this will be new to you, it will just be very very funny.

And toward the end, I won’t spoil it for you, comes some rather more serious stuff that reduced me to tears.

Long story short, this little book has kept me excellent company for the past few days and I’m looking forward to carry on reading from it on my Thursday nights!
Profile Image for Adam Yates.
125 reviews5 followers
February 28, 2017
There's typically two things I don't do whilst reading books. Laugh and cry. I find it hard to emotionally connect that deep to a book. However this book DID make me laugh. Quite a bit actually. I eventually had to read it in the comfort of my own home as I was self conscious about stifling laughs in the staff room. Anyway, the book is very sweet despite the claim that the authors brother is "a dick." Hopefully it will get some attention come release.
Profile Image for Britt.
243 reviews24 followers
July 7, 2018
Of je nou wel of geen broer hebt, dit boek is goud
Profile Image for Helen Marquis.
584 reviews10 followers
October 8, 2017
It's pretty shameful to admit that I first became aware of Stuart Heritage's work when he was liveblogging the X Factor for The Guardian. His obsession with plinths is sadly absent from this recounting of his lifetime of sibling rivalry, probably because it all pre-dates the X Factor.
"Don't Be A Dick Pete" is Heritage's trip down memory lane about his fractious relationship with his older brother. At times hilarious (the section where he soils himself made me cry laughing on a plane, much to my embarrassment, as it wasn't like I could explain what was so funny), at other times genuinely emotional, this is definitely worth adding to your reading list if you grew up in the UK in the vestiges of the last century.
Profile Image for Valerie.
118 reviews
July 22, 2017
Oh Goodreads, how I loved this book. I laughed out loud which is something that books rarely make me do, so much so that I had to attempt to read out loud several paragraphs to my husband by way of explanation of the hysterics, the trip to the wrestling, the trip to the vineyard, the initiation ritual that Pete's girlfriends have to be subjected to name but a few.. This is writing of the best sort, I shall now have to take The Guardian to read more of Stuart Heritage's wise words. I feel a five star review doesn't do this hilarious book justice.
Profile Image for Amy Wood.
164 reviews
June 9, 2021
Stuart Heritage knows how to write comedy.

My Book Club buddy described this book as a long Best Man's speech, and I think that's pretty apt!

There are some funny anecdotes, but there's a lot of heart to the 'characters' too.

I had low expectations given this is non-fiction/memoir style, so I was very pleasantly surprised.

My fave parts: the transcribed "check in" chats, tough mudders, the vineyard trip and learning to drive.

Very entertaining!
Profile Image for D.  D..
266 reviews24 followers
July 6, 2024
I like most articles of Stuart Heritage so I thought I'd like his book and I was right. His story is funny and sad and truly interesting. But not only that, it's totally true and its truth makes you want to read this book in one go. Unputdownable!
14 reviews
September 16, 2017
A collection of incidents that do not warrant writing down never mind publishing. Self indulgent and completely without merit.
765 reviews4 followers
October 31, 2018
Stuart Heritage is the older brother of the eponymous Pete. He is reliable, responsible and possibly a little boring. He is also undoubtedly the favourite son. Pete, on the other hand is wild, unpredictable and an all-round nightmare - in other words, he is a dick!! The book is a candid and very entertaining look at family dynamics, sibling rivalry, brotherly love and a whole host of other related issues.

This book is very funny indeed. Stuart relentlessly divulges the innermost secrets of Pete’s life, exposing him as (in his view) a complete dick. However, amidst the bickering, the irritations and a huge number of laugh-out-loud stories, there are many tender moments and a large dose of family loyalty and support as well as many interesting and perceptive observations. It is also quite shockingly honest. I spent quite a bit of time with my mouth dropping open at the concept of being able to say such dreadful things about your real-life brother in a book written for public consumption, yet still be able to maintain a relationship afterwards. Furthermore, Pete appears to have read the book prior to publishing and been quite happy for the world and his dog to read about his most embarrassing and personal moments. If I were Pete, I think I would have had to leave the country, and possibly the planet just before publication. I also don’t think I would ever have spoken to my brother again and would have been mortified that my parents were going to find out some of the things that I had got up to in my younger days. Basically my family just didn’t work this way (although I wish it had!!) but maybe that’s why I found it so fascinating.

I can’t really find anything negative to say about this book. Why only 4 stars? Probably because it is what it is and doesn’t pretend to be anything else. It’s a memoir and a very enjoyable and funny one at that, but it’s not going to win any prizes for literature.

Some of the stories in the book are definitely not for those who are prudish or easily shockable. If you think you come into either of these categories, probably best to avoid it. For everybody else, enjoy. I certainly did. Thank you Stuart (and Pete!!).
Profile Image for Anne.
2,440 reviews1,171 followers
August 30, 2017
Stuart has written about Pete before, he's featured in his Guardian columns so it really wasn't much of a surprise to find that he'd been able to write almost 300 pages about their relationship. That's 300 very funny pages. Yes, it's full of dry wit and funny stories, but it's also, at the heart of it, a really moving and quite tender look at grown-up sibling relationships.

I can imagine why Stuart thinks that Pete is a dick, but I can also imagine that Pete has a similar view of Stuart. They are brothers, but they are very different. Stuart is convinced that he's the favourite son and Pete is convinced that being a man means that you should compete in Ironman competitions, never take the bus and swing your very small nephew around by the ankles.

Despite their differences, and their many (sometimes pretty traumatic) rows, it is clear that Stuart and Pete have a strong relationship. Through family illnesses, marriages, fatherhood, childhood homes burning down and wine-tasting tours, they continue to bicker and argue and see everything from a different point of view. Yet they are still close, they still visit each other, support each other and take the piss out of each other. Anyone who has a sibling will get this; there's that bond that seems to be almost indestructible, even after the fiercest rows and the most hurtful of slanging matches, and even a few punches.

Warm, touching and absolutely hilarious. I loved this book. I actually think I love Pete .. and Stuart. Fabulous stuff, highly recommended.

https://randomthingsthroughmyletterbo...
Profile Image for Max.
233 reviews6 followers
August 12, 2018
Ik liet de de rapporten van Stuart en Pete aan mn moeder zien en die zei meteen: oh dat stond ook in jullie rapporten. Mijn broer en ik komen van andere planeten, net als Stuart en Pete. Dus in dit boek veel herkenning en weemoed naar lang vervlogen tijden. Wij waren in onze jeugd ook volledig andere wezens met compleet andere beleefwereld, vrienden, interesses en keuzes. Inmiddels begrijpen we elkaar steeds beter, maar dat duurde ook ongeveer net zolang als bij de familie Heritage (zie eind boek).

Vanaf de eerste pagina is het duidelijk: SH wil je platblazen met humor en dat lukt heel goed. Het barst van de treffende observaties, harde grappen en zelfspot. Heerlijk weg te lezen. En in elke regel stroomt de broederliefde van de pagina's. Want ondanks hun verschillen gaan Stuart en Pete voor elkaar door het vuur.

Jammer dat de humor na verloop van de hoofdstukken een beetje inkakt en ik begreep niet echt de 'reflectie' hoofdstukken waarbij volledige dialogen met Pete en Stuart's vrouw uitgeschreven zijn. Dat waren wel minpunten in een verder onderhoudend boek wat ik zo snel mogelijk aan mijn broer ga geven om ook te lezen.
Profile Image for Michelle B.
311 reviews3 followers
August 13, 2018
I love Stuart Heritage’s columns in the Guardian and chose to read this book as I had heard about it and thought it sounded very amusing.
It is an extremely funny and at times moving account of the relationship between two brothers told from Stuart’s side (the perfect son). Stuart does give Pete an opportunity to give feedback a few times throughout the book, so it is not as harsh as the title suggests!
Stuart is dismayed to learn that ‘adult Pete’ may not be ‘the dick’ he thought he was and that Stuart himself may not be ‘the perfect son’. This book is about testing Stuart’s theory and seeing whether there is any real basis for these labels.
The outcome is a really funny read which I am sure most people with a sibling can relate to in some way.
Thank you to NetGalley for a Kindle copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Pgchuis.
2,396 reviews40 followers
June 29, 2017
I bought this "biography" of Stuart Heritage's brother on the strength of Stu's column in the Guardian. It turned out to be not quite what I was expecting; somehow I had imagined it would in fact be mostly about Stu, using Pete as as sort of device to bounce concepts off, but really a sort of self-deprecating autobiography. Instead it was quite a lot about Pete, and not all of it complimentary either - I wouldn't want to upset Pete.

It was funny, but perhaps not as funny as I had expected, and also touching, especially the parts about Stu and Pete's mother I especially enjoyed Pete teaching Stu to drive and (I can't believe I'm writing this) the account of Stu's "upset stomach" episode.
Profile Image for Amanda.
148 reviews2 followers
February 22, 2019
This was recommended to me as a funny read but I have to say that I often found it depressing, and more often cruel. Yes, there is humour in the labels we establish for ourselves or are given in families, but they often fail to allow you to grow or grow-up. It probably explains why so many of us move away from home to become adults.

Only, the author Stuart Heritage, doesn't. Nor does he try to. Meanwhile, his brother, the eponymous Pete, has become an adult of his own making - without denying or rewriting his past, while maintaining and strengthening his relationships with his community, family and friends. I think I'm with Pete. I think the dick in this tale is misnamed. See what you think.
Profile Image for flajol.
475 reviews13 followers
June 3, 2017
Anyone who ever had a sibling would enjoy this I think. There are definite notes in this that resonated with me, being the big sister of three younger brothers. They all displayed varying levels of dickishness, whilst I, much like Stuart Heritage, was obedient and modeled perfect behaviour at all times. That's probably not the story they would tell, and I guess Pete Heritage would say the same of his brother's account.

If you want a good laugh, have a high tolerance for swearing (Pete could give my sailor-mouth a run for it's money, I reckon), and want to read about what helps keep siblings together despite massive personality differences, give this a go.
Profile Image for Molly Sharpe.
181 reviews
July 3, 2019
If I was ever tasked with writing a list of my favourite things, it would be no surprise to anyone that knows me that my little brother would rank extremely high. He is the best person I know and being his sister is a joy. Stuart Heritage’s book about his relationship with his younger brother Pete is above all things absolutely hilarious, but also thoughtful and brilliantly touching. It was such an easy read and has be immediately wanting to call my brother who currently resides half a world away from me to tell him that I love him. I probably won’t though, might just send a funny cat gif in true Heritage fashion. Couldn’t recommend this highly enough.
Profile Image for Angus Willson.
64 reviews2 followers
May 23, 2017
I have developed a liking for non-fiction and, in particularly, memoir. I wanted to read this one even more so as it has a local Ashford resonance. It doesn't disappoint in the same way as Stuart Heritage hadn't expected to return to Ashford.

"People don't go back to Ashford. It isn't the done thing. People are born in Ashford, then leave Ashford as soon as they can, and never look back." (page 2)

I went to the book signing at Waterstones and met Stuart and Pete. Stuart was quite pleased as I was first, and before a queue formed. He apologised for Pete's swearing in the book. This was yet another moment of the familial blame-game! However, I think it was directed at me as an older man and I'm not really their generation of blokes.

"Thanks for being the first one"

Yet this little insight to a younger age group, and their cultural tropes, is exactly why I found the book so entertaining. It is the ordinariness of their separate and combined experiences that makes it worthwhile. Their life story is not dull and their fractious relationship is revealed through amusing events and photographs. There is a classic wedding faux-pas hinting at the underlying brotherly love. It also includes verbatim the crucial negotiation required for Stuart to allow himself to write, in this way, about Pete with his grudging approval. Look at Pete's signed denial!

I made the mistake of writing on twitter that I couldn't wait to give this book to my brother Steve and he noticed it. I hope he hasn't misunderstood!

I'll still be reading light crime stories and thrillers but I will continue to appreciate real life in memoirs, diaries and biographies.

It wouldn't surprise me if there was a sequel to this book and I would certainly like to read it.

Blogpost:
http://wp.me/p1QXma-13M
Profile Image for Ronald Smith.
33 reviews8 followers
July 30, 2017
This is British humour at it very best a funny look at the lives of brothers the good bits and the bad, those laugh out loud moments and those were you just want kill him, took me back to my childhood and teen years when my brother was my best friend and worst enemy ,what better way to show ones love to one brother then writing a book about him, wish my brother was still alive to share the good times but he died aged 19 in a car crash
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Anita.
289 reviews5 followers
December 5, 2022
Stuart Heritage wrote an absolutely over-the-top-silly piece about a photo of Sir Ian McKellen in the Guardian a couple month back - that was literally all it took for me to google him and order this book. Great decision! While the book isn't perfect, it moves along at a good clip, and there were many moments where I nodded in understanding or laughed out loud. The man knows how to craft a humorous anecdote. Would've given it 3 1/2 stars if I could.
Profile Image for Anne Alsikjouzie.
3 reviews
August 19, 2025
3,5

Vondst in de kringloopwinkel! Leuk om deze familiedynamiek tussen Stu en Pete van zo dichtbij te mogen volgen. Veel luidop gelachen, zo absurd en toch zo menselijk! Vlot geschreven en heel grappig.

Interessant om eens een biografie te lezen vanuit een male perspective…

Don’t be a dick Pete is een meeslepende biografie over twee broers die zo anders zijn maar tegelijkertijd ook zo op elkaar lijken.
28 reviews1 follower
August 14, 2017
I strongly recommend Don't be a dick, Pete. It has proven to be a good and well written book, as well as fun and well developed. Being a non fiction book, you can't help getting attached to the whole Heritage Family and feel Pete as your own brother. I found myself laughing out laud more times than I can count with my fingers, which is just what I needed.
Profile Image for Hilary Mortz.
Author 14 books76 followers
July 30, 2018
I’ve always enjoyed Stuart Heritage’s writing, I love his live blogs and reviews in The Guardian so buying ‘Don’t Be A Dick’ was a no-brainer for me and it didn’t disappoint. It is warm and funny and Stuart’s obvious love and pride for his outrageous younger brother shines through, no matter how much he criticises and argues with him.

Well worth buying and reading.

28 reviews
January 10, 2019
I bought this for my daughter for Christmas at her request and accidentally ordered two copies. I hated the first 40 pages as it was exactly in that extended newspaper column style that I despise. I gradually found myself won over by the author's unreliable narrator narrative and an ending which showed the complexity of family and sibling relationships.
41 reviews
March 7, 2019

A candid account of two very different siblings growing up. I laughed out loud at some of the high jinks Pete got upto. Although the brothers had the inevitable fallouts and friction it reminds you that no matter how different you are from your siblings at times of need you can and do pull together.
713 reviews4 followers
April 15, 2020
I picked this up on spec from the library as it was shutting up for the coronavirus duration and loved it. Easy to read and funny in many places but not just that. It's a really interesting look at siblings and families, what binds you together and breaks you apart. The swearing might put off some readers, but it's all real.
32 reviews
May 22, 2017
I hadn't realised this was a biography of the author's younger brother, so wasn't sure what to expect. Fortunately it lived up to the high standards Stuart Heritage has set in his various Guardian articles, and some of the stuff about his family is really quite moving.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews

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