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Crazy for Alice

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Donnie Darko meets Pleasantville in this dark urban fantasy about sixteen-year-old Ben Howard. When Ben accidently kills his father and is sectioned after a failed suicide attempt, he escapes the guilt by seeking solace deep within the recesses of his own mind.

Waking in a strange ethereal black and white world, where most people exist as living statues, Ben leaps from New York skyscrapers into African jungles without fear of injury, severed from his emotions, until he meets and falls in love with Alice. But, no sooner does he settle into this strange, new existence, he’s traumatically catapulted back to the brutal reality he left behind.

Nobody believes he’s spent the last six months in a Gray World. Not his neurotic mother, his policeman brother Gavin, or his friends Mitch and Wendy, and certainly not Dr. McKenzie who’s threatening to give him even more pills. They all think he’s crazy, and why wouldn’t they when he’s been in some strange coma locked up in a mental asylum?

307 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 15, 2016

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Alex Dunn

14 books71 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
Profile Image for Jammin Jenny.
1,536 reviews218 followers
June 5, 2019
I received this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I really liked this story about a young man who is deeply depressed over the death of his father, and ends up in a mental institution. While there, he slips into a coma and enters an alternate reality - a grey world - where he meets and falls in love with another coma patient - Alice. I thought the characters were great, and the storyline wasn't too far out there. Fun read.
Profile Image for ☆Stephanie☆.
342 reviews45 followers
September 26, 2016
Title: Crazy For Alice
Author: Alex Dunn
Publisher: Alex Dunn, 2016
Genre: YA Fantasy, YA Fiction
**I received a copy of this book free from the Author in exchange for an honest review**

This review can be found on my BlogTeacherofYA's Tumblr, or my Goodreads page




My Review:


Sounds intriguing, right? I totally thought this was about Ben meeting Alice in like, a colorful world, and he was trapped in some sort of gray wold. I was wrong, but I was pleasantly surprised. I thought it was an Alice in Wonderland retelling, but I was wrong. But I was once again pleasantly surprised. This was a book that threw my assumptions in the garbage and left me flailing...not knowing what would happen.

I'm glad I was wrong.

We meet Ben in an asylum. He's being committed for a suicide attempt. His father was killed in a car accident with Ben present. Everyone thinks Ben tried to kill himself over the loss of his girlfriend, Wendy...but it's not true. Ben tried to kill himself because he's hiding a secret: his father wasn't responsible for his own death...Ben was. And he can't tell anyone.

When the doctor leaves Ben in his room, he starts to rehash the night his father died. But as he reflects back, he is sucked into a vortex and he emerges into a Gray World. Ben feels nothing: no sadness, no joy, no hunger or thirst. He also is all alone. He wanders for what feels like days (time passes strangely there), and he eventually starts noticing people that are like living statues. They seem to be unaware of a difference in the world around them. But Ben glimpses a beautiful girl that hides from everyone, so he pursues her. Eventually, the two strike up a friendship...though Alice is a model and way out of Ben's league. When they are about to kiss, Ben wakes up in the real world, and as he screams for Alice, everyone tells him he's been in a coma...for six months. Ben doesn't care: all he cares about is getting back to Alice. 

But is Alice even real? Or has Ben really lost his mind? 

Is it Classroom-Appropriate?

Yes, yes, yes! This was a great read that shows the toll mental illness takes not just on a person, but on their family members as well. Our unreliable narrator makes us doubt Ben, then believe for him, and in him, and then root for him. There is enough to play with in terms of plot and character development...questions that could be asked of the class concerning Ben's Gray World and if they believe Ben or his family. Also, it brings up depression and loneliness, as well as the idea of an alternate plane of reality. I would definitely think of using this in a classroom. I think it's a good read for students and has just enough fantasy to make it fun, but enough reality to make it also believable.

Age Range:

Because of the suicide attempt, and the occasional cussing, I would put this in a upper level bracket age range. Probably 17 and up to be safe and not offend parents. It also could be used in college English classes, or even psychology classes to discuss erotomania (a term mentioned in the story) and schizoid (not schizophrenia) personality disorder. I also would encourage the book to be read outside of school.

End Result:

I give this book ★★★★☆. I finished this book yesterday but had to work and then I went to the Allegan Antique Fair this morning. But Alex Dunn did an amazing thing with this book...she took me on an intense ride through Ben's mind. I would've liked to know more about the Gray World and how it operates...there are theories but I'm so curious now that I want more. And the book did move quickly at first and I was confused until I realized what had happened. I would have preferred a smoother transition into the world to understand it better: I had to reread the beginning a couple times to picture it in my mind. But I'm nitpicking. I think it's a wonderful read and I'm fortunate to have received it from Dunn. I want to read more from her. This book is intense, and I warn you that you will get a case of the feels throughout...and especially at the end. However, I recommend this book to ALL OF YOU. ALL. I really think y'all will like it.
Profile Image for Trisha.
5,937 reviews231 followers
March 28, 2019
"You can't do anything for me." Ben lowered his voice to a whisper as Nurse Veronica returned. "But you can help Alice."

Meh. This was definitely a case of this book just not being for me. I didn't find the drama interesting nor did I find the "mystery" of either Alice or what is driving Ben and his secret....interesting. And I'm a little worn out about kids being misunderstood and thrown on medication and/or thrown in an asylum. None of this, in my experience, works like this.
Profile Image for Bernie Gourley.
Author 1 book114 followers
October 5, 2017
Ben has a secret and keeping it sends him into a depressive spiral. He’d had almost everything going for him. With his high IQ, he was sailing through school on his way to a top-tier college. He was also an athlete of local renown on the swim team. The only source of consternation in his life was a deadbeat drunk of a father, and the fact that said father recently passed away. Ben was in the car accident with his father, and was the last one to see him alive. Fortunately, Ben has an older brother who’s a cop, Gavin, who looks out for him and tries to keep an overbearing mother at bay.

After an attempted suicide via wrist slashing, Ben is institutionalized. It’s during this time that he drops into a coma. While he’s not conscious of the real world, his consciousness takes up residence in a place he calls “Gray World.” Besides being monochrome, Gray World exhibits the characteristics of a dream. The laws of physics, cause & effect, and consistency of space and time are all freely violated. Ben soon meets a girl named Alice who is initially cautious about him. Over time, the two develop an increasingly close relationship. Then Ben comes out of his coma.

In the real world, Ben is obsessed with getting back to the Gray World to rescue Alice. It seems that all the residents of Gray World are individuals suffering severe depression. The problem is that Ben only has a first name and a probable city of residency. Of course, to his mother, brother, friends, and doctors, this obsession is a sign that Ben’s depression has migrated into a full-blown delusional psychosis. His mother, terrified of losing him, treats Ben as a prisoner. Gavin, while well meaning, feels the need to prove that Alice was just a dream.

I enjoyed the story and also found it to be thought-provoking. The characters are well-developed enough to care about, and the reader can see how each of the key players is trapped in his or her behavior—behaviors that are sub-optimal. At one point, I thought that it strained credulity that Ben took so long to realize he needed to play along to get some space for his search. He kept being forthright about his intentions to find Alice, and this just made his mother more nervous and smothering--and made Gavin more insistent. But it occurred to me that Ben’s ego as a genius kept him in that state. He wasn’t used to being challenged in his understanding of the world, and reacted to it poorly. He had a need to be right that overrode his capacity to recognize what those around him wanted to hear. His mother was trapped by fear into an increasingly suffocating form of love. Gavin, the most emotionally stable of the trio, thinks he can force Ben to accept an understanding of reality through the brute force of reason—missing that being right might not be as important as being compassionate.

I’d recommend this book for fiction readers. It’s written for the YA (young adult) market, but is intriguing for adults as well.
Profile Image for Steve Davenport.
6 reviews
September 13, 2016
Bundles of imagination in this story of Ben Howard, a 17 year old from Essex struggling with depression following the death of his father in an event in which he is closely involved. Ben's world starts to flicker strangely into black and white before he is pulled into the mysterious "Gray World". There he meets Alice and finds happiness before being pulled back into a reality where no one believes him. How will Ben save himself from the White Waves Asylum and get back to the Gray World to find Alice?

I found the book very easy to read and it becomes quite a page turner as the story progresses. There's some great imagery, my particular favourite being that of Romford Stadium stubbornly following Ben around the Gray World. The Gray World character of Maude also works well as a modern day version of Dicken's Miss Haversham, forlornly waiting in the shade of the Eiffel Tower for her man to return. If I had a very slight complaint it would be the long wait for the events leading to the death of Ben's father though getting to that point is all part of the development of the story and Ben's journey back to Alice.

If alternate reality stories are your thing or you just fancy something a bit different then give this a try.
Profile Image for Shinee'sBack!.
113 reviews29 followers
November 8, 2018
I received a copy of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

First of all, i want to say the good points. I thought this was a good read. The story takes a unique look on ideas of out of body experiences and other worlds, and links these to our mind's and our body's abilities in ways that i hadn't quite seen in a novel before.

The story started off well, got a little slow around the middle, but it picked up again in terms of how the story flowed. The plot was easy to follow and the dialogue is especially good - particularly the scenes between Ben and his family and how they feel about his mental health. The story was interesting and to the author's credit so were the characters, especially Ben's brother Gavin, whose descriptions and dialogue made it no trouble imagine how the characters would act or look.

Although, while i also understand Ben goes through a lot in this story, some of his behaviour towards Alice makes me question why she would still want him around as he can be quite jealous or obsessive, even cruel. This kind of behaviour is few and far between but still bothered me a tad in those moments.

Lastly, some of the 'twists' were a little predictable, but i still enjoyed reading them as part of the story.
Profile Image for Jessica.
8 reviews2 followers
September 21, 2016
I won this in a give away and I am so glad I did! Ben's story is so wonderful and strange and frustrating. The emotion and scenes were jumping out of the page. I was so sucked in to this book. Ben's character development was on point. You can't help but feel and grow as Ben does. The description of the Gray World was weird and cool. Ben encountered so many strange people and scary situations that were well described and interconnected. I overall really enjoyed this book. There is only one thing that disappointed me. I really felt that Alice's character was mostly flat and only existed to further Ben's story instead of being a full character. There was definitely opportunities to actually let us get to know Alice, but we mostly just got to learn how hot or not she is plus some background info. I am rating this book a 4 because I only had the one issue and the rest of the book was so good that I read it no time.
Profile Image for Bookish .
Author 20 books171 followers
September 16, 2016
This was a really interesting and compelling book. It had a satisfying balance of humour and desperation among the characters, with a few good heart stopping moments thrown in for good measure. The ending was very satisfying.
I'd definitely recommend it for any YA audience, and for anyone older who still enjoys a good story.
It would suit anyone who enjoyed the Harry Potter series by J.K Rowling or A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle.
I'll definitely be recommending it for a few people I know!
Profile Image for Sushant Sawant.
36 reviews6 followers
August 4, 2016
Actually 4.5 stars...

It is a beautiful story of Ben and Alice which moves between two worlds....A well written novel with beautiful narration. If you are looking for a good Young Adult Novel...go with this one. Its worth your investment both in terms of time and money.

For a more detail info: http://the-empty-pages.blogspot.in/20...
157 reviews40 followers
September 3, 2016
This is a great book! I won it free from Goodreads & it only took me a few days to read it...I didn't even want to put it down! This book will definitely keep you turning pages late into the night!
Profile Image for Annette Jordan.
2,824 reviews53 followers
April 13, 2020
Crazy for Alice is an urban fantasy that sees our protagonist Ben's mind travel to a mysterious Grey World when he ends up in hospital following a failed suicide attempt. There are several factors that have caused him to reach that point including a secret so terrible that he cannot even tell his own family. The Grey world, though frightening and surreal is an escape for him and when he finds the mysterious Alice there, the two teens decide to explore their unusual surroundings. Before they have a chance to get very far, Ben is woken from his coma and finds himself back in the real world. He is determined to find and rescue Alice , but his family and friends and even his doctors think she is nothing more than a figment of his imagination, caused by his mental illness. He will have to take risks that will bring him to the edge of death again if he wants to prove that he is sane, and that Alice is real.
This book had an interesting premise and good characters , and I enjoyed the pacing and the resolution of the story line which was something that could have gone awry were it not for the author's skill .
I read and reviewed a copy courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher, all opinions are my own.
Profile Image for Vivi.
449 reviews33 followers
February 28, 2017
3.5 stars!

*I have received a free copy of this book from the author, as part of the Read to Review program in We ♥ YA Books! group on , in exchange for my honest review.*

Crazy For Alice tells us the story of Ben Howard, a 16 year old depressed teen, who attempts suicide after his dad dies in a car accident.

Not being sucessful in his attempt, Ben wakes up in a Hospital and, soon, his mother and older brother, Gavin, convice him that the best for him is to have some Psychiatric help, so they sign him in White Waves , a Mental Asylum, where he is to stay for a while and get better.

But, being there only makes Ben feel more miserable... and, then, suddentely, Ben finds himself in this Gray World , where every single thing is either black, white or gray, even himself.



In the Gray World , Ben is emotionless and senseless ... he doesn't feel sadness, anger, pain, sorrow or guilt; but he also doesn't feel any happiness or hope, at all ... he is empty, hollow.

Having no knowledge on how he got into the Gray World or how to get out, Ben has no choice but to bear with it. So, being there on his own, Ben starts walking around looking for other people.

As he walks throught the diferent buildings, Ben finds that there are other people in the Gray World (even though they aren't many). But, these people are as Empty as Ben feels there. Or, maybe, they're even worse! ... as they just lay still, not talking or moving... they're almost like Living statues.

"I was alone there forever. No one talked to me. No one moved. People just sat there waiting to die."

"And then I met her..."


One day, as Ben goes on one of his little explorings of the Gray World , he sees this beautiful girl with long hair.



Ben's curious about this girl, since she's the only girl his age he's ever seen there. So he tries to speak to her.

Through various meetings, Ben ends up knowing that the girl is named Alice ... and, as they start meeting up daily and going exploring together, Ben and Alice become Friends.

But, as the days pass by, Ben is starting to feel more and more Emotions when he's near Alice... Is he, maybe, Falling in Love?! Does Alice feel the same?!

Then, out of nowhere, Ben is pulled from the Gray World and wakes up in the hospital, only to find out it's been 6 months since he went to the Gray World and that (in the Real world) he's been all this time in a Coma.

Ben tells his family about the Gray World and about Alice, but no one believes him...

"Alice doesn't exist!"
"She's a figment of your imagination, a dream. Do you understand?"


Is it possible that the Gray World and Alice were all a fabrication of Ben's mind? Or is the Gray World really an Alternative reality/world? And, if Alice is real, then is she in a coma too?

Ben has feelings for Alice and he believes she is real, so he's desperate to go back to the Gray World and save her.

Is Alice real? Or is Ben just mentally disturbed? And, if Alice is real, will Ben ever see her again? Will Ben be okay?

Read the book to find out ;)

*******************************
I liked this book, but I didn't love it...

I really liked that this book had a different plot than most books. And I was extremely curious about the Gray World, if it's really real or not, how it works, how do you fall into it, how do you leave it, etc.

I was also curious about Alice, if she was real or not, why is she in the Gray World, and about her character in general, since we first don't get to know much about her.

Unfortunetely, I didn't connect as much as I would've liked with the main characters. And I didn't feel as much as a hoped to from a book like this, that deals with deep, serious issues like Depression and Suicide. These were my main reasons why I didn't give the book a higher rating.

The book was told in Ben's POV, but I didn't feel much. This was a deep book, that talks about some serious issues like Depression, Suicide and others (I don't wanna spoil anyone) and it's effects on people, which is something I really like in a book! So, I expected the book to go a bit more deep and to bring out more feelings out of me, as a reader.

I think it would have helped if the book was more detailed. Ben and Alice spent 6 months together, basically only the 2 of them alone in the Gray World. While I understand that would bring them closer to each other and help feelings to grow between them, I still would have liked to have read more about their moments together in the Gray World in those 6 months... it would have helped me to connect to them and their feelings more.

Still, I liked that Ben really cared about Alice and wanted to save her... and I liked that we got to see other Gray World people's stories, like Maude and George.

All in all, I'd say that if you like books with different plots; a bit of Romance; a bit of deep, serious themes (without being a "heavy" book) and a bit of mystery around it all, then you might enjoy this book :)
Profile Image for Merril Anil.
930 reviews78 followers
September 22, 2018
I got this book through my newly revived net galley account and this was the first book i had landed on. I am still not sure as to what attracted me to the book. Perhaps my reason behind picking the book, Crazy for Alice lies somewhere between the impact of the cover and the name or perhaps the synopsis.  But what ever the reason was, i loved this book. Scratch that. I lived this book yes LIVED.. it was that alluring. Read the full review of the book at

http://readwatchandthink.com/crazy-fo...
Profile Image for Kaili (Owl Book World).
275 reviews19 followers
September 9, 2018
I really enjoyed this book! I feel like most YA novels are the same and don't really bring anything new, but this book does bring something new and different. The only thing that I wish was different is that we got to read more about the grey world. Ben was there for six months but to me it only feels like he was there no longer than a week. I would recommend this to anyone who has an interest in young adult fantasy.
Profile Image for Alissa.
278 reviews1 follower
April 10, 2020
Bailed at 25%. The writing was awkward and weird. This was a little painful with the poorly written teenagers and constant hinting but never telling about the reason for the character's attempted suicide. I hung in there because of some of the strange things going on in the other world, but they were few and far between.
2 reviews
July 16, 2020
Loved the story and the weave of conflicts, dilemmas and different worlds to save Alice. Read the book in one sitting because I was gripped by the intensity of Ben’s the main character, drive and his relationships with key people in his life. Great for teens and a good read. Highly recommend it! Awesome
Profile Image for Anja H..
949 reviews577 followers
November 14, 2021
*2 GRAY STARS*

Yeah, this book just wasn't for me.
The concept was great, but I just didn't like the writing, nor any of the characters, nor the serious case of insta-love Ben and Alice had going on.
Maybe if this had been a little longer, better developed and had more of a slow burn going on, I'd have given this a much higher rating.
A very quick read though!
Profile Image for Sue Wiggins.
8 reviews8 followers
October 14, 2016
What a corker of a read. I absolutely loved this book!

This is a great book on many different levels. You’ve got Ben who, following a suicide attempt, slips into a coma, and during that time drifts into a parallel universe, a grey world, where nothing is as it seems, where everyone he meets is connected to one particular place on earth, which he or she drags around with him wherever he goes. Ben is connected to Romford Greyhound Stadium and can’t initially work out what the connection is

He meets people, others who are also in a coma, lying in hospital beds in different parts of the ‘real’ world, and whilst they have no need of sustenance in The Grey World they do age. They can, however, travel anywhere, so Ben can step out of Romford Stadium onto the top of a mountain in Japan or the streets of Manhattan.

The book deals with a number of issues; the fact that he’s killed his own father, the fact that no one understands his suicide attempt, the fact that no one believes him when he ‘wakes up’ about his experiences in the Grey World, the fact that his own mother is considering having him sectioned, and most importantly thet fact that he’s fallen in love with Alice, a girl who still resides in the Grey World. Ben’s convinced he can rescue her if only he can find a way back.

He’s hindered, of course, by the fact that his family and friends don’t believe she exists and it seems like the only way to return to the Grey World would be to slip into another coma.

But there’s a deeper aspect to this book for it discusses mental health issues and self-mutilation.

One of the biggest, but probably the least discussed issues we face as a society, is the prevalence of Common Mental Health Problems (CMHP), which has not historically had a culture of open discussion when it comes to awareness of their potential severity or how to tackle them.

I’ve personally campaigned for mental health awareness, particularly amongst the young. CMHPs include anxiety and some forms of depression. Anxiety is defined as “an unpleasant feeling when you feel worried, uneasy or distressed about something that may or may not be about to happen,” while depression is defined as “when you have feelings of extreme sadness, despair or inadequacy that last for a long time.”

Generally, people of Ben’s age (16-25) are a sector that has the potential to cause
stress and in turn to intensify, or even trigger, anxiety and depression. Sadly, the stigma associated with mental health conditions makes it difficult for young people to discuss their problems with family or close friends.

But the book’s not all doom and gloom. It is, in fact, a very readable story, and I was genuinely sorry when it came to an end.

There is an amusing moment in the book where Ben catches a sports headline in the local newspaper; Brighton has beaten Romford Rangers 2:0. Assuming this refers to Brighton and Hove Albion, who at time of writing sit 4th in the Championship I’m puzzled as to why they’d be playing Romford Rangers, who are an ice hockey team.

This isn’t part of the Grey World, where two sports teams – one playing on ice and the other on a grass pitch – could feasibly play each other. This is back in the real world.

Romford football team – not Romford Rangers – play in the Ryman Isthmian Football League, about seven divisions apart from Brighton and Hove Albion, so all I can think is that Romford must have had an exceedingly good cup run that year to be facing Brighton!

An extremely good work, and well worth a read. I highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Rachel.
95 reviews6 followers
April 25, 2019


I think I was so drawn to this book because of what was said right at the end of the description to this book.. how could Ben have been in this world filled with gray and fall in love with a girl called Alice when he had been in a coma for 6 months?

I knew this was the type of book for me, I just had no idea what journey exactly I was about to go on. This book was filled with imagination and slightly reminded me of the world building in Patrick Ness' More Than This, another great book full of imaginative ideas, but this one is much shorter and at times I wished there was more to read. I wanted to fall into it completely.

Ben has suffered losses more than his body and mind can bear. It all becomes too much for Ben and in an attempt to escape from his life he tries to commit suicide. The beginning of the novel is Ben in White Waves asylum being committed by his family who want to help him. Once sectioned he thinks on what happened the night his father died and he spirals into an abyss where the whole world is gray and everyone he sees are statues. Ben can't fathom what's going on but he assumes he really has gone insane. He wanders for lifetimes around this gray and depressing world until he finds his first live person.. and she is, and I quote, a "hottie". Her name is Alice.

Almost as soon as Ben settles in and starts to enjoy this gray world he is suddenly ripped from it, and away from Alice, breaking his heart. What also breaks his heart is how his family don't believe what he's been through, largely because they have been visiting his bedside daily for the past 6 months. Ben has just woken up from a coma.

The rest of the book is Ben searching to find Alice and to save her from the gray world, trying to convince his family and best friend that he's not insane and that the gray world really does exist. Through every moment of this book I felt that desperation, depression and frustration that Ben was going through. Equally in his family, putting yourself in their shoes would you believe what he was saying?

It also made me question how we treat those with mental health issues. What if the paranoid schizophrenic whose screaming someone's name genuinely believes that the person they yell for is there? Do we try to put ourselves in their shoes or do we dismiss them as being "insane" or "crazy".

This book certainly makes you think, you have to choose whether or not you believe Ben. Is there another universe that people fall into when they slip into coma's or is Ben suffering from a serious mental health issue?

Read the book and make your own mind up.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Thehappymeerkat.
134 reviews7 followers
March 16, 2017
I was sent a free copy of this book by the author.

After being admitted to a mental asylum for trying to commit suicide, Ben falls into a deep depression and enters a strange grey world where nothing is what it seems. While there he meets a girl called Alice and they spend time together and grow close. But how long can they exist in this world and what will happen if they leave?

This is a really good and very different story. Told in the third person it follows sixteen year old Ben as he enters the Gray World and meets Alice. From the book's description I thought that there would be a lot of this part of the story but in fact his time in the Gray World all happens at the start of the book and the majority of the story focuses on what happens after he returns to our world.

I wasn't sure at first if I'd get into the story. The experience Ben has in the Gray World all happens so fast that I didn't feel connected to the characters and I would have liked to read more about his time in the Gray World and his relationship with Alice. Despite the over-speedy start, this book did get far more interesting and I did start to enjoy it. Nobody believes Ben's spent time in a Gray World and the story gets far more interesting the further this disbelief goes.

The book is very different from any YA fiction I've read before. It covers the tough topic of depression and mental health and the story of the Gray World and what happens in it is very well imagined and unique. I really enjoyed how this topic was covered and it was done well. But despite all the good I still found it difficult to really get into this story as much as I would have liked. It was an exciting and fast-paced read but I never connected with Ben's character as much as I hoped I would.

The book has some swearing, both the f and s swear words are used though not often. The book also covers some tough topics such as depression, suicide and a little violence so I wouldn't recommend this to the youngest of teens.

Despite my criticisms, this was still a very enjoyable and interesting read. The story was exciting and unpredictable right to the end and it had a great and satisfying ending. A good book I'd read again.
Profile Image for Lauren Bridges.
23 reviews2 followers
January 10, 2017
Crazy for Alice starts with Ben’s failed suicide attempt and subsequent sectioning. His mother and brother think he tried to kill himself because he failed his A Levels and his girlfriend dumped him. The truth is Ben tried to end his life because he killed his abusive father and cannot live with the guilt. His inability to face up to what happened, leads him to finding refuge in an alternative black and white reality where he lives in silent solitude until he meets and falls in love with Alice. At that point, he is torn from her to discover he’s been in a coma for six months. The rest of the story is Ben trying to prove he really was in an alternative reality so he can get back to rescue Alice, unfortunately, as far as his family is concerned, his efforts just reinforce their fears he’s clinically insane. It’s an intense, dark read, but not without humor. Ben has the support of Mitch, his charismatic and funny best friend and his mother’s emotional meltdowns are classic. Anyone who enjoyed Tabitha Suzamma’s a Note of Madness would enjoy this book.
Profile Image for J.M. Johnson.
Author 6 books39 followers
February 2, 2017
The author has a vivid imagination and a flowing style of writing which has produced a fast-paced story that keeps the reader gripped from the beginning. The phrase ‘I couldn’t put the book down’ is often overworked but in this case it was true. I was so hooked I was on the edge of my seat as I read chapter after chapter to find out what happened next.

The characters are believable, the scenarios and interactions between them dealt with in a way that makes the reader feel as if they are there, witnessing the love, anger, betrayal and ultimate understanding portrayed on the pages.

Classed as a Young Adult fantasy, the book can be enjoyed by adults too, due to the originality of the story and the liveliness of the action. An excellent book.
Profile Image for Yesenia.
17 reviews8 followers
July 21, 2017
I received this book free on goodreads.

I was amazed with this book. Ben goes into a gray and silver world and meets a girl named Alice and falls in love withe her. I love how in gray and silver world gets to see many nations even if they are fictional. After he wakes up from his coma, his family thinks he gotten crazy. Ben will do anything to fin Alice and get her out of the world. I feel like he did his hero journey. I couldn't put this book down and finished in two days. My heart was thumping when he ran away from the mental asylum, was he going to caught by the staff workers or make it to Brighton. I love the ending he finally saved her from her depression.
Profile Image for Cyrene Olson.
1,413 reviews17 followers
August 1, 2017
Uncaged Book Reviews

Ben who finds it hard to cope with life after a failed suicide attempt. Realizes that when he is upset he travels to a sort of fantasy world where everything appears dull and grey. Upon making this discovery he meets a young girl by the name of Alice the two hit it off and Ben really wants to stay there. But can’t.

I like the sound of this pretend world when u feel sad you can travel to it and make other’s like yourself. The storyline had a fun concept to hide some messy problem’s that some of the character’s had. Well worth a read. Reviewed by Jennifer
Profile Image for Azzurra Nox.
Author 25 books198 followers
February 29, 2020
I really wish I could've enjoyed this book more than I did. I didn't like the mystery much and it wasn't really that compelling. It wasn't a terrible book but just wish the thriller aspect had been done better.
Profile Image for Arden.
380 reviews39 followers
April 19, 2017
Faced with some horrific trauma surrounding the death of his father, Ben begins to dissociate from his life, and finds himself traveling to a parallel 'Grey World,' a dimension populated only by ghosts and the seemingly emotionless. That is, until he meets Miss Model Gorgeous Alice. Not only is she the only girl in this world, but she's super hot! Obviously they must fall in love. Interests and personalities be damned. But oh no! Now that Ben has something to live for, he finds himself booted from the Grey World and back into his real life, where he might have to finally address the suicide attempt and rampant family issues that have gotten him to this point...

I had some issues with this book. The portrayal of mental illness was super problematic, especially as far as treatment. Ben, who at the beginning of the novel doesn't really appear to portray any symptoms except for clinical depression and some dissociative tendencies is locked in a mental asylum that would be better suited to American Horror Story. He refers to himself being locked in 'a cell', they drug him to the gills, manhandle him even when he's not resisting treatment... And it just got worse from there. I'm talking proposals of electroconvulsive shock therapy!

Just not at all an accurate portrayal of what it's like to experience abuse/extreme emotional trauma, or be treated for depression. Love! Is not! A magic cure! Finding your soulmate will not clear up depression like Windex for the clouded mind! Sorry Ben, but that is false!

And the insta-love between these two! Off the charts!

She was special. She was more than the only girl in the world. She was the one he wanted to be with forever.

That being said, it was still pretty cute... You can thank my hopeless romantic heart for the 2.5 stars. It's just so hard not to root for Ben when he puts himself through so much just to be with Alice! The writing is charming! Ben is so puppy-dog earnest about his pursuit of Alice! If you're looking for something short and sweet, but with a unique premise, I say what the hell, give this a try.
Profile Image for Bri's Book Binge .
6 reviews
April 20, 2017
A real thriller. Ben's quest for Alice can make anyone relate to their search or drive for the thing that makes life meaningful. It perfectly captures the strength of friendship and love and how it they can take you to places you never knew existed. The book shows the downward spiral anyone with depression feels and gives up hope that they can climb back up. I highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Kim.
1,155 reviews22 followers
August 31, 2018
When I started this book I wasn't sure I was going to like it, next thing I know I'm finishing it, I read it in one sitting, and I was so deep into the story that a whole day passed and I didn't really realize it. It was a great story, I felt angry and frustrated on a visceral level when things were happening to the main character. There was enough action to keep it moving pretty swiftly, and I love that the love story wasn't too overpowering. I do wish I could have learned more about their adventures in the gray world (novellas please!) it was hard to believe he'd been in there for as long as he was, the part where he was in there was so swift, the book mostly took place in the "real" world. I didn't grow to love alice like he did because I missed out on so much of what they experienced, so I couldn't figure out why he liked her so much, but regardless I still felt the powerful emotions when he was out in the real world. I really enjoyed this book, and would recommend it for sure.
Profile Image for Amber DuBois.
44 reviews1 follower
February 13, 2019
Boy, this was a chaotic ride. There is no gradual ramp up to the main action of the story, the book starts RIGHT THERE. And it doesn't really let you go for the entire book.

I liked this book. I did not like Ben's Mom. I wanted to slap her every time she made an appearance in the book, and I didn't particularly understand Ben's deep connection to the woman. I understood his connection to his brother and his friend, but the Mom had wronged him so much, I just don't get it.

I think this was a good description of how society treats people with mental illness, and once you've had the label of "mentally ill" applied to your person, you can never really remove it and it colors everyone's interacti0ns with you for the rest of your life. That's a good lesson that more people need to learn.

I didn't like the ending. Ben deserved apologies from nearly everyone he came into contact with. It also seems super unlikely that Alice's family would have been completely won over that easily. I'm a Mom, and I'm telling you I wouldn't have. Especially given the farfetched way that Alice and Ben met. Also, the ending seems too easy and too fast. It's like the author was told to sum it up and end everything RIGHT NOW. It's too hurried.

I'd still recommend this book--it's a quick read, and has some good messages. The end just feels a bit flat.
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