Dem Horizont so nah

Danny-Trilogie #1

by Jessica Koch

Die Geschichte einer großen Liebe. Eine Geschichte über Vertrauen, Mut, Schmerz, Verzweiflung und die Kraft loszulassen. Eine wahre Geschichte.

Jessica ist jung, liebt das unkomplizierte Leben und hat Aussichten auf eine vielversprechende Zukunft. Als sie eines Abends das Haus verlässt, ahnt sie nicht, dass sie ihrer großen Liebe begegnen wird. Sie ahnt nicht, dass diese Begegnung ihr gesamtes Weltbild verändern wird. Und vor allem ahnt sie nicht, dass sie schon bald vor der schwerwiegendsten Entscheidung ihres Lebens stehen wird...

Genres: Romance, New Adult, Contemporary, Young Adult, Ebooks, Drama, German Literature

462 pages, Paperback

First published July 29, 2016

About the author

Jessica Koch was born in Ludwigsburg, Germany and began writing short stories when she was still in high school - but never submitted her work to publishers. Shortly after finishing school, she met Danny, a German-American dual citizen. Her experiences with him eventually formed the basis for So Near the Horizon, though it was nearly thirteen years before she felt ready to bring the manuscript to the public.
The author describes a life lived somewhere between hope and fear, between optimism and despair. She reflects on events from her own past with raw honesty, confronting more than one difficult subject along the way.
Jessica Koch lives near the city of Stuttgart with her husband, their son, and two dogs. The second and third books in the trilogy, So Near the Abyss and So Near the Ocean, are already best-sellers in Germany as well.

Reviews

[Virginia Ronan ♥ Herondale ♥ · Rating 4 out of 5]

** I received this book from the author in exchange for an honest review. So thank you, Jessica Koch! I’m really glad I got the opportunity to read „So Near the Horizon“! **

”Time heals all wounds.”
“But every wound leaves a scar.”

To write a proper review about “So near the Horizon” is kind of hard and if I had to describe the book with one word, it probably would be “heartbreak”. Well, I most certainly wouldn’t use the word romance because I feel like this is the wrong word. When I think about romances I want to read something fluffy and nice that will make me smile and to read this book was some entirely different experience. There is nothing fluffy and sweet about Danny’s and Jessica’s story, it’s tough, it’s unfair, it’s painful and cruel and it actually caused me to cry on multiple occasions. I suffered through this book and sometimes even had to pause for a few days before I was finally able to continue.
Not because the book was bad, NO!! If anything it was because it was so damn good that it sometimes hit way too close to home! Danny’s and Jessica’s feelings are so raw and real that I was reminded of certain situations when I felt the same way and OH, BOY did it hurt to remember them!!!

”We resided together in unconditional love, united through pain and cemented through the trust we’d worked so hard to build between us.
We were one, and we would remain so for all eternity.”

There were so many moments that resonated with me and their despair, frustration and fear was almost tangible at times. Since I don’t want to spoil anything I’ll stop to describe the book now and won’t write about the plot. All I’ll say is that “So near the Horizon” is about Jessica who meets Danny and falls in love with him. I know it’s just a short sentence but looking at it in retrospective it’s the only thing that matters. XD You’ll just have to see this short summary as an onion, it has multiple layers and each and every one of them is sufficient enough to make you cry. ;-)

The characters:

WARNING: There will be many spoilers in my characters section and if you still want to read this book, you better skip it and never look back! XD

Danny:

“I’m afraid you’ll jump up and run away and never come back.”

Oh, Danny! How my poor heart ached for him. This boy was so doomed from the very beginning and yet he still tried to make the best out of his adverse situation. His willpower was amazing and even though he could be stubborn and fierce you still couldn’t help but had to like him. I think it’s remarkable that he survived for so long and that he reached so many things in such a short time and just like Jessica I’m sure that he might have lived even longer if Christina’s death wouldn’t have thrown him so much.

”Most people have all the time in the world. They’ll live to be eighty or older. But they don’t use the time they have. They waste it on the couch, in front of the TV, or at the computer. They don’t have time for the things that make life really worth living: other people, their friends and family, the friendship of a dog, the beauty of nature… They’ve lost all mindfulness.”

I think truer words have never been spoken and I really could identify with Danny’s view. I think there are many people that never realise how precious their time is and when I remember this moment in the book, my heart becomes all heavy again.

”He was extending his hand, and I couldn’t stop myself from flinching away. He let out a soft, joyless laugh, and I realized he was just reaching for the doorknob behind me.”

I didn’t know all too much about AIDS except of the things you’re taught in school and to read about it from Jessica’s and Danny’s point of view was really interesting. I don’t even want to know how many people struggle with the same prejudices Danny did and the entire encounter with this group of youths that bullied him really made me angry! It was so frustrating to experience their ignorance and truth be told, I could more than just understand why Danny snapped in the end! I mean ARGH!!! It was his own father that raped him and infected him with AIDS and then there are people that know nothing about it and judge him and automatically assume that he’s gay? As if he wouldn’t have had a hard enough life already! T_T
And don’t even get me started about his father! This – excuse my crude language – worthless piece of shit that outlived Danny and took away everything Jessica had left of him! THIS OUTRAGEOUS INJUSTICE!!! =((((

”There’s nothing in life you can’t get through, or at least work around. But the fact that he’s sentenced me to death as an innocent man… I’m powerless against that.”

*takes a deep breath* Okay, I’m fine again, or I’m not, but I just have to write this review in order to get rid of my many emotions so please bear with me. XD It just hurt so much to witness Danny’s decline… The scene in the gym was almost unbearable and the moment when they spoke about Danny’s wish to have a family with Jessica… It shattered my heart into thousand tiny pieces. T_T
The chapter that hurt the most was Christina’s death though, because it hit so close to home that I actually had to pause for almost a week before I was finally able to pick up the book again. I know exactly how Danny felt and to experience this moment through his POV was… excruciating.

”It hurts so much! I can’t breathe! It hurts. I can’t breathe without her! I can’t live without her!”

Jessica:

“She gives as good as she gets… and she seems like she’s interested in me as a person. She doesn’t just like me for my looks, the way everyone else does.” He smiled crookedly. “I think I need that. I need someone who will look beneath the surface sometimes, not just tune out the things they don’t want to hear… Yeah, I want someone who will really get to know me. It’ll have to be a girl who doesn’t scare too easily. You need pretty damn thick skin to put up with me.”

Jessica was a really remarkable character! I mean she is so young and all of a sudden she has to deal with all those serious problems and is forced to see life in a completely different way. If you make these kinds of experiences at such a young age they always leave their marks and to say I really admired her for her strength would be putting it mildly. Yes, she was scared, yes she was hopelessly overstretched and had a hard time to deal with everything, but she still tried to be optimistic, she did what she thought was best and she always stayed true to her character. She stayed with Danny even though it was hard, because she loved him and she wanted to be there for him! Her love was unconditional and pure and I’m really grateful Danny was able to experience this kind of love before he finally had to go.

”Vacation with friends! With totally normal friends who didn’t hang out in the dark at night because they thought it was safer not to turn on the lights. People I could take into an elevator or grab jokingly without sending them into a panic. People whose company I could enjoy without thinking about a million different things, like accidentally hugging them or accidentally closing the window or accidentally coming into contact with their blood.”

”I’ll always be different, I’ll always go through life with my eyes open, free of prejudice and rigid expectations, able to swim against the current. I’ll never be content with seeing the obvious anymore – I’ll always try to look behind the façade.”

Christina:

”Danny’s more than my boyfriend,” she said. “He’s my family. I love him more than anything. I would die for him without hesitation if I had the chance.”

I loved Tina and her relationship with Danny certainly was one of a kind. They were more than just close and considering what both of them went through it was good to know that they would always have each other. Still, when Tina began to take drugs again I felt at least as helpless as Danny and Jessica! It was so hard to see how they changed her, how they made her so desperate and eager for the next dose. I hated to see screaming and angry Christina and the way she treated Danny and Jessica was so painful to watch. I understand that she didn’t see it this way and that all she could think about were the drugs but to read Danny’s and Jessica’s POV, to see how hurt they were by her behaviour… it was almost unbearable at times. They suffered with her and their deep love for her made everything so much harder to bear. Tina didn’t deserve an end like that and I really wish she would have been able to make it. =((

”We were the weirdest little group in the world, but we were happy. Maybe we were naïve, too, because none of us would ever have guessed that this would be our last summer together.”

I think I could go on and on with this review and I still wouldn’t be able to write down all of my complicated emotions. Still, this book touched me in a way not many books do and if you’re certain that you’ll be able to handle this kind of heartbreak I can really recommend it to you. ;-)
Jessica, your book was an amazing journey and it hit me right in the heart! I think I’ll remember it forever and I’m sure that through your book Danny’s memory will remain. =)

”Someday,” he said, “when I’m not around anymore. When you’re near the horizon, you’ll be near me, too..”

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given a copy by the author to review this book, thank you so much Jessica, this is honestly the best book I have been asked to read.

Trigger warning: Rape, Sexual Abuse, Drug Use, Suicidal thoughts

My heart is well and truly broken, knowing that this is based on a true story, I honestly can't even comprehend everything that must have happened throughout the time frame, I'm still crying from the last 50 odd pages. Due to this being based on a true story this review will be slightly different, but I hope I do it some form of justice.

But every wound leaves a scar.

I've had to change this rating, two days later I can't get this book out of my head and I keep thinking about it. Originally I'd marked this as a 4.5 Stars because of how Jessica was to begin with, the more I thought about this, this is all part of the story building and you see how much progress Jessica makes. I think because when I read this I was thinking who would act like this?! Then I realised I most likely did when I was 18/19! Jessica is slightly uptight, jealous of things she didn't really know the back story to. Since meeting Danny and learning her story she grew from strength to strength and I liked the fact that she had picked up on what she used to be like. It was such a lovely moment to see her realise how much she'd progressed as a person.

When we first meet Danny he comes across as quite an arrogant person, and slightly above certain things. When you learn Danny's back story you soon realise why he has this front. You see how loving and caring he is, and he throws his whole heart into the things he loves and cares about. His whole back story honestly broke my heart, I remember just reading it and being so shell shocked. Just thinking about it now is making me tear up again. I loved his relationship with Jessicas' dog and knew how to handle her,the fact that he was so un-relenting and refused to give up and wanted to go out there and do the things he loved and enjoyed. The fact he calls Jessica, Ducky throughout the book is an added bonus!

Tina has another back story that was so so heartbreaking. When you first meet her you just think who is this girl, but you get to know her so well and she's a person you just want to look after and take under your wing. Her friendship with Danny and Jessica is just so sweet, she was a good friend to both of them and told them what to do in certain situations which I found completely endearing. She knew when she needed to be there for someone when the times really mattered.

What made this book so special and so beautiful is that the three of them all deal with very difficult situations and each of them handle it in different ways, at some parts it was difficult to read, but it is sadly true to life, which makes it so raw and so heart wrenching that I think this will stay with me for a very long time.

Overall I honestly loved this book, it had me smiling, scowling, angry and heartbroken but I am so glad that I read this. I think this book made me realise a lot, and to not judge something before I fully know what's going on.

Once again thank you so much Jessica for sending me a free copy!

"Someday when I'm not around anymore. When you're near the horizon, you'll be near me too..."

[Diane Wallace · Rating 3 out of 5]

'Received from Author in exchange for my unbiased review'

rtc..not something that i would want to continue reading..frustrating and stressful story to finish..btw i'm wavering with the rating 2 or 2.5 stars..no 4 or 5

[Sonja Rosa Lisa ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jessica und Danny lernen sich kennen und fühlen sich gleich zueinander hingezogen. Aus einer Freundschaft entwickelt sich schnell mehr, doch die Beziehung der beiden ist schwierig. Danny hat eine sehr schlimmer Kindheit hinter sich, die es ihm kaum ermöglicht, ein halbwegs normales Leben zu führen. Doch die Liebe der beiden ist stark, und so machen sie das Beste aus der Zeit, die ihnen bleibt...
💕💕💕💕
Mein Leseeindruck:
Dieses Buch bzw. diese Geschichte, die auf wahren Begebenheiten beruht, hat mich stark berührt und zum Weinen gebracht. Sie hat mich auch unglaublich wütend gemacht, sehr nachdenklich und einfach tief bewegt. Ich habe das Buch heute beendet, aber ich bin sicher, dass ich noch lange daran denken werde.
Mehr lässt sich dazu eigentlich gar nicht sagen. Schreib- bzw. Erzählstil, Protagonisten, Spannung,... Das alles konnte mich überzeugen, aber eigentlich ist das alles in diesem Buch nebensächlich.
Ich glaube, das, was an dieser Geschichte so berührt, ist einfach die Tatsache, dass die Autorin ihre Geschichte bzw. Dannys Geschichte erzählt. Es ist keine Fiktion, es ist tatsächlich so geschehen.
Ich möchte Band 2 unbedingt lesen, gleichzeitig habe ich Angst davor, Dannys Geschichte noch vertiefter kennenzulernen. Ich werde den Folgeband trotzdem lesen und mir eine Box mit Taschentüchern gleich bereitstellen.

[Charlotte May · Rating 4 out of 5]

“We resided together in unconditional love, United through pain and cemented through the trust we’d worked so hard to build between us.”

I’ll admit, when I read the synopsis and even about 50 pages in, I didn’t think this book was for me. Generally speaking, I don’t do romance. I could count on one hand the number of romance novels I’ve actually enjoyed. Plus in the beginning of this book there were numerous cliches and tropes I didn’t like. (“You’re not like other girls”, the standard rich attractive male love interest who also does modelling on the side, slight slut shaming and judgment of her best friend plus others)
HOWEVER, after 100 or so pages the plot thickened, the characters were fleshed out, and everything improved drastically.
I loved Christina’s character, she is fantastic and Jessica and Danny’s relationship grew on me, I was made to feel for them all. All the pain and horror all the characters went through hit me hard.
Overall a powerful and affecting story that I am glad the author felt brave enough to share.

[bookspumpkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ich habe dieses Buch mit dem Wissen angefangen, dass es sehr unter die Haut gehen soll und zutiefst berührend sein soll. Aber das die Geschichte so schrecklich, so herzzerreißend und unfair ist, hätte ich nicht gedacht.
Es fällt mir schwer so einer wahren, tragischen Geschichte überhaupt eine Bewertung zu geben, aber das Buch hat einfach 5-Sterne verdient. Für die Art, wie es geschrieben ist, dafür, dass ein Großteil der Einnahmen an eine Organisation gespendet wird.

Noch nie habe ich so viel Schmerz, Wut und Trauer beim Lesen empfunden. Zeitweise habe ich wirklich den Glauben an die Menschheit verloren. Mir wurde bewusst, dass Menschen die scheußlichsten Kreaturen auf dieser Welt sein können. Aber genauso hat mir die Geschichte gezeigt, dass es auch wahnsinnig tolle Menschen gibt, wahre Freunde und Menschen, die die Hoffnung wieder zurück in die Welt bringen.

Ich konnte das Buch nur schwer aus der Hand legen. Größtenteils musste ich es nur weglegen, wenn ich wieder einmal geweint habe und kurz Zeit brauchte, mich zu beruhigen.
Die Charaktere waren alle absolut authentisch, sympathisch und liebenswürdig und in den letzten vier Tagen haben sie sich in mein Herz geschlichen.

Das Buch wird noch Ewigkeiten in meinen Gedanken und in meinem Herzen bleiben.

[Briar's Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

So Near the Horizon by Jessica Koch is a sweet, simple, romance read.

There WILL be spoilers in this review, so beware!

Romance seems to be a hit and miss genre - there are FANTASTIC novels, and there are HORRIBLE novels. So Near the Horizon, on the spectrum, is just below fantastic. This story starts out as if it's fiction - you don't realize it's based on Jessica's life (I mean...her name and the character's name are the same, but I honestly didn't even notice. See how much I pay attention?).

Almost immediately our main characters meet, and the sass is real. I love the sassiness between Jessica and Danny,The abuse that was mentioned in the first few pages also left me kind of awestruck. You just meet someone and you say how your father hit you in the face with a bottle? Okay then... At least Danny's honest?...

Our two leads, Jessica and Danny, are both pretty messed up. One minute they seem to be all over each other, and then next Danny's treating Jessica like she's garbage. You welcome her into your bed and sleep next to her all snuggled up, but then threaten to kick her out of your vehicle when you take her home? The bi-polar attitude of Danny made me not like him as a character and almost despise him. Jessica deserves better than some guy who flips his attitude whenever he feels like it. No matter his personal issues, he doesn't need to act so nasty all the time. It's almost like he's nice only when it benefits him. And sending a radio after to apologize? And then confessing his love to her? On top of that, he's almost always lying.... Yeah, this guy doesn't sit well with me, in the beginning.

Even Christina rubs me the wrong way at the start - she's got her own problems, but she's a psychopath. She threatens to kill Jessica numerous times and no one even cares. The fact that she is threatening Jessica with death if she hurts Danny is absolutely, freaking, ridiculous. Christina has her issues, and she's a broken character, but this running theme of having a bad life and being a total jerk to people makes me quite annoyed. Life can't be all "sunshine and roses" (just like Christina says) but I feel like you can do better than hurting people since you're hurting...Or maybe that's just me.

I also find that there's some repeated harassment that could have been avoided if reported. Out of everything in this novel, that drove me insane. Not that reporting always helps in real life situations...

I'm positive that my initial bad feelings towards this book are due to the whole Fifty Shades of Grey/Twilight controversy. There's lots of books where the guys are just not great guys, but somehow win the girl in the end. Danny could be an EPIC character, but his flaws just seem so dark. It's almost abusive in my eyes (and this is coming from someone who's been through abusive relationships). Don't get me wrong - Jessica is absolutely FANTASTIC and writes this novel well, I just don't like the relationship. That's nothing against her, because she makes it likable (to a degree). But then, you get to the end of the book and realize Danny's not JUST a character. He was real, he's a person, that was his real life attitude and actions (maybe not 100% because it's a retelling of Jessica's life with him, but you get the drift). People aren't perfect, not like book characters. I went through this book hitting my head against the wall going "JESSICA, LEAVE THIS GUY! HE'S A JERK! HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU" and then you find out his troubles, and you find out he's REAL. This was a real guy who was dealing with real issues, and I felt for him. I was not myself when my Father died, nor when I dealt with horrible relationships in my life. I'm empathetic, because we're not all perfect Nora Robert's characters (I wish, sometimes that would make my job so much easier).

So, let's get to the positives. I wrote up an entire list of negatives when I thought this book was fiction (do your research, don't be like me who just jumps into a book). But, I threw them all out. When I realize this was real, why would I include negatives that don't fit this narrative?

1. Sass - there is so much sass and humour, that I couldn't put it down. There were the parts I was frustrated with, but I wanted to see the quirky conversations that were happening throughout this book.
2. It's not cookie cutter - so many novels (fiction and non fiction) seem to fit the typical trope. Falling in love, happy life, everything is great, something goes wrong but it's fixed, blah blah blah. This book shows what real life CAN Be like - it's not totally "realistic" (these "characters" meet and get pretty flirty and close super fast, which isn't always "realistic" for some people - but that's life for you), it shows some of the darker sides of life, and I love it.
3. Character development - These characters develop over time, some a little slower than others. Seeing how life changes and what it did for these people...Oh man, my heart aches. I want to meet Jessica and give her a GIANT hug. To live through that changes a person...
4. HIV. That little fact flipped my opinion of this book quite a bit - I wasn't expecting that to suddenly pop open. While it explains Danny's behaviour, it doesn't make some of his wild, horrible attitudes right. Yes, he has a HORRIBLE childhood, but does that give you the right to be a horrible person? What a conundrum.
5. The AIDS/HIV awareness - I like when books bring something into the spotlight, and this book did that with AIDS/HIV. The fact that it's so heavily focused and doesn't make it to be some sob story, but a real life story is honestly a wonderful change.

I had so hoped this story was fiction. It destroyed me - after losing my Dad to cancer I have become this emotional wreck that cries at everything sad or sentimental. AND JESSICA DESTROYED ME. Having a love so passionate, so deep (no matter what type of love) and losing someone...I'm hurting from this story. It's so horrible but so beautiful...Thank you for this book Jessica. Honestly, thank you for letting me see a little piece of your life.

Overall, as a story it seems super rushed. If it were fiction, I'd be annoyed at the fast paced antics that goes on in a relationship. But is any relationship "normal"? Romance novels has ruined timelines for us, hasn't it?

Five out of five stars. Yes, the relationship between Jessica and Danny was quite brutal, and the death threats infuriated me, but stories like THIS (real, honest and that bring something to the light like AIDS/HIV) NEED to be shared. Not want, NEED. We need more stories like this around, because this world's big and scary, but stories like this show the true humanity. Oh boy, I'm just a mess writing this.

Thank you Jessica Koch, the amazing author, who sent me this book in exchange for an honest review. I truly appreciate it! It's always mind blowing when people actually seek me out, and it really humbles me. Thank you!!!

[Anja H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

*ALL OF THE STARS*

”Time heals all wounds. But every wound leaves a scar.”

First of all, thank you so much, Jessica Koch, for providing me a copy of this masterpiece and the honor of reading and reviewing it. This was a story I will never forget.
I definitely want to read the other books in this series one day as well.

This book absolutely tore me apart body and soul! I’m still crying while writing this, I'm so sad and inconsolable! Knowing that this book is based on the author's true story just made this so much more heartbreaking and painful to read! Because of this book, I feel like I can appreciate life so much more, knowing what a gift it is and how short it can be.

Review coming soon!

[Theresa Ijachi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Attention!Attention!Attention!
After reading this book, I found a new goal, trying to get every soul to read this book but first, I'd like to thank the author for giving me a free copy of this book, it completely changed my life and I'll forever have this book in my heart.

You're probably wondering what's so special about this book that's making me so sentimental? This book deals with a lot of issues/problems that happens everyday to several people in the world, things we don't really like to think about, but still happens like; sexual and physical abuse,homophobia, suicide, drug abuse/addiction and most importantly Hiv/Aids

“Time heals all wounds.But every wound leaves a scar.”

I learnt a lot about Hiv/Aids in this book than I ever learnt in a classroom. You wouldn't believe the number of things I realised I didn't know about the disease and the stigma people living with aids face.

Although it's a very heavy themed book, It's not all sadness and misery. I loved the characters, they were all so brave and amazing and I felt like I knew them on a personal level. This is the kind of book that can make you cry one minute and smile the next. And the love story in this book is very touching, I've never seen anything like it.

I feel like everyone should read this book
Don't like romance? Well it's actually based on real life events so think of it as a memoir.
Don’t like a heavy themed book? I assure you that it'll change your life.
Don't like books? HECK that's not even a problem.

I will admit that I still haven't recovered from the ending but I don't regret reading this book at all.

”I feel the north wind again, the promise of the horizon. How many possibilities has he who knows the north wind?
I go with the north wind, I need not know the way.”

[G.S. Lima]

Ich habe das letzte mal so geweint wie jetzt, als ich 14 war und mein damaliger Freund das erste mal mit mir Schluss gemacht hat und ich dachte ich hätte die Liebe meines Lebens verloren ( was er natürlich nicht war) ich werde dieses Buch nicht bewerten. Aber hier ein Zitat von Kafka, das finde ich dem Buch gerecht wird: "Ein Buch muss die Axt sein für das gefrorene Meer in uns" Danke an Jessica Koch, die ihre und Dannys Geschichte mit uns geteilt hat.

[❄️BooksofRadiance❄️ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75⭐️

First off, I’d like to thank the author, Jessica Koch for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review.

I knew going in that it was going to be somewhat of an emotional read but nothing could've prepared me for what was to come because to say it was heart-breaking would be an understatement.
Overall, I loved it. It was a story of ill-fated love with raw honesty but also of hope and strength that ensues so much emotion.

Initially, it was a slow start for me and for the first 100 pages or so, both Jessica and Danny rubbed me the wrong way. His treatment of her and her general attitude was too much to bear that I almost stopped reading.
The way it started out gave me a fright because it contained all the tropes that I HATE in books - He’s hot, brooding and rude > she instantly falls for him (despite his treatment of her) > he plays hard to get but she's "different from other girls" (he literally says that in their second or third meet) so his roughness slowly starts to dissipate… so on and so forth.
And with Jessica, well, to say I was livid would be putting it mildly because I really didn't like how she came off at the beginning. Her blatant pettiness and tantrums and rude demeanour, in particular, her interactions with Christina, also known as ‘Tinna’ (Danny’s best friend) were enough to set me off raging.

Thank the heavens I continued on because the second half of the book sent me on a wave of emotions that tore at my heartstrings. I felt pretty much almost everything; sadness, happiness, anger, despair and so much pain for what these people were going that I almost couldn't go on. You name it, I felt it.

For starters, Jessica’s development was remarkable. She went from the petty, jealous and sometimes selfish girl to the incredibly strong and compassionate person who also became Danny's strength in more ways than one.

Danny’s story was devastating. It was heart-wrenchingly devastating. I don’t think I can write everything I want to say without spoiling some major plot points but his story was… heartbreaking times a hundred.
But what really got to me was how dealt with everything. His unwavering strength and his will to go on with life even when everything seems doomed and bleak really takes a special kind of person.

Christina was the one that I felt an instant connection to. I loved her and her friendship with Danny was very touching. I found their love for each other, her unwavering loyalty to him and his protection of her to be truly awe-inspiring. They were two broken people who found their strength in one other person and became two halves of one.

As much as I loved the story, however, I had huge issues with the writing. So much so that, for the majority parts of the book, the style in which it was written and the slangs that were used left a sour taste in my mouth. Quite honestly, I hated the writing, I really did. The dialogues in particular, which I think, was initially what ruined it for me.
There was too much repetition and the words that were used when they interacted with each other were so out of touch with their situations that it got so hard to connect to the story and characters.
I understand that this is translated from German and therefore can’t speak for the original writing but I've read many other books that were translated into English and none were as hard to get into as this one was.
Overall, it was a great book that could've been flawless were it not for this one issue.

Furthermore, there are some trigger warnings and if you're sensitive to books that contain rape, suicide, drug use and parental abuse then be aware before you go in.
However, if you are looking for a novel will evoke every emotional response, then I highly recommend giving this a try. 

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

In einem Wort: Gänsehaut.
Der Klappentext führte mich erstmal auf eine falsche Fährte, denn ich dachte, es würde sich um einen Teenie-Liebesroman handeln.
Erst viel später wurde mir bewusst, dass dies die Erzählung & Aufarbeitung einer wahren Geschichte ist - und es sollte sich als eines der emotionalsten Bücher herausstellen, die ich bis dato gelesen habe.
Eine Achterbahn der Gefühle, die mit einem großen Berg Taschentüchern & rot geweinten Augen für mich endete.
Und trotzdem oder vor allem genau deshalb.: es hallt nach. Es erweitert den Horizont & es eröffnet neue Blickwinkel auf das Leben.
Für mich jedenfalls.
Die Autorin möchte man für ihren Mut & die Kraft, das alles aufzuschreiben, feiern & gleichzeitig möchte man sie tröstend in den Arm nehmen, denn das, was sie erleben musste... ist einfach wahnsinnig prägend. Und traurig.
Ich würde es jedem Weiterempfehlen, der sich von Drogen, Suizidgedanken & Vergewaltigungen nicht triggern lässt.

[Deborah Obida · Rating 5 out of 5]

Special thanks to the author for providing this in exchange for an honest review

I highlighted 74 notes while reading this,still I can't find perfect one to use for this review, I'm such a mess right now, this book touched my soul,I can't remember the last time I was this emotional about a book, the fact that its based on true story is so not helping my case.

This book turned out way better than I expected, its incredible, I love everything about this book even the parts that made me cry. The writing was okay, can't judge it cause it was translated, it was written originally in German. The dialogues and banters are some of my favourite things in this book.

“Get dressed,” I ordered him. “We’re going out.”
He wriggled down from the couch. “Yippee! We’re going out! Where are we going?”
“Hm… The zoo?”
“Give me three minutes.”
“Then I can deliver you to the bats, and you can go hang upside down with them.”
“Bats sound good,” he agreed. “Anything sounds better than bored to death.”

Spoilers ahead
I thought I knew a lot bout HIV but apparently I don't, I realized while reading this book that I never paid attention to all the HIV and AIDS awareness seminars and meetings I was forced to attend in secondary school, I just know means of transmission and how living with a carrier and sharing stuffs won't transfer the virus, nothing else. But this book covers extensively lots of stuffs about it and I'm extremely glad for the knowledge and information. I also learnt to view the world in a different way and also listen before jumping to conclusions bout people. FYI this happened between 1999 and 2003, advanced treatment was yet to be discovered.

Jessica met Danny when she was 17 and he 20, never would she have thought he'll change the way she view life but he did.Danny is an athlete, he does kickboxing and also models, what a weird combination. Briefly after they got together he tried to push her away and told her he'll only bring her pain but she refused and stayed with him.

“How long you live isn’t what decides whether your life is worth something or not. You’ve probably lived more intensely than thousands of people who’ve died of old age.” I took his hand. “Your life has been more than valuable. You’ve left a mark on the world!”
He smiled weakly. “Nothing is really dead,” he said quietly. “It just changes, takes on another form. Don’t forget that later.”

They started dating for like a year before he told her bout his parents, he was only skeptical about it till that moment. Danny is HIV positive, has being for some years now, he got it from his dd who raped him continuously for 3 years, in between ages 11 to 13. When she found out she did what anyone would, she made a run for it but came back because she loves him, he even called her crazy cause of that. They were together for two more years before the AIDS kicked in, his was worse, he got a brain disease that I can't pronounce the name, apparently he got between three to twelve months to live, some of the symptoms are paralysis, lost of nerve control,change of personalty etc. He couldn't handle it after the paralysis started so he jumped off a cliff, I was glad he did, loosing myself is my biggest fear.

[Nadia Awadi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Warning:This review will be kind of long And I uploaded an even longer review on my blog: https://nadiaaouadi21.wixsite.com/laz.... It's going to be different than this one. So if you read both reviews and you're a guy: Can we get married? and if you're a girl: Can we get married? also SPOILERS.

A great thank you to the author for sending me the book to review it. I feel so honoured aaand also
kind of proud of myself.

*Low self-esteem: Why are you proud of yourself ? she probably sent it to hundreds of reviewers before you. And also this happens all the time to every reviewer on GR.*

But an author sent me her book. I repeat: AUTHOR!!!

*Low self-esteem: Maybe you're right. You can be a little bit proud. But once she reads your review, she will regret her decision.*

Maybe yes or maybe no.

*Low self-esteem: You talk to to your own low self-esteem in the introduction. Who does that? and you listen to too many Maroon 5 songs while writing your reviews.*



Anyway, let's start with the review shall we? *Secretly listenning to "Telephone" by Lady GaGa *

Rating: 3 stars.

I had 2 different opinions about this book:
* While reading it like it was a fictional story.
* After finding out that it came from the author's personal experience.

But one thought stayed the same: THAT COVER NEEEDS TO CHANGE
It screams: WATCH OUT! CHEESINESS I'm sorry to the one who designed it but I think she should change it.

While reading it like it was a fictional story:

This book walked the fine line between:
- Cheesiness and cuteness.
- New and cliché.

Either it's because it was translated or it was originally that way: We may never know. *Unless you speak German and you can tell us*

Jessica Koch who is our main character and also the name of the author. *authors really can do whatever they want.* meets Danny Taylor. Falls in luuuve and that's it.


Well that actually happens but it's soo much more:

-Rape, and sexuel abuse.
-Dealing with AIDS
-Real friendship
-Prejudice and how to be a better person.

And now the question is: How a book with these themes could be cheesy?

It's kind of insta love between Danny and Jessica. And it's a love so strong, it could concure anything and everything.

"Your not like the others," He said "I like that."
I shrugged helplessly "I couldn't help it, I swear. I think he hypnotized me!"


But suddenly it would turn into this cute kitten that makes you forget that you're single. With Jessica being such a dork and Danny being his witty-charming-self.

And then there was Christina: Danny's 'bestfriend'.

"Christina was his soulmate."

But what I love most is the fact that this book deals with HIV and how society looks at the people suffering from it. It was an eye opener to say the least.

After finding out that it came from the author's personal experience:

So many things made more sense and became more serious and less cheesy. But I won't say what since it will be in my review on my Blog. *Like anyone will go to your blog now. just give up, okay.*

If you want to read a book dealing with themes you never encountered before and you also can handle the cheese: I think you should go ahead and read this one.

Bye. Why would you say Bye in a freacking review? Now the author really regrets her decision.

[Bookandmoonlight]

5h später und ich bin durch mit dem Buch 🥺

[Janett · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

“Time heals all wounds.”
“But every wound leaves a scar.”

This book…

This story based on true events was DEEP!

It took me to places I didn't want to go, made me feel things I didn't want to feel but left me with a clearer focus about compassion and love of others and still a part of me was very angry at the end.

As most of my GR friends know, I don't prefer contemporary novels because I find them too full of drama and issues I don't care to entertain myself with. I read to “escape" the real world, know what I mean?

But as I read “So Near the Horizon” by Jessica Koch, I couldn't help but think of some of my favorite YA characters that have themselves been scarred for life because of another person who was bigger, stronger or influential; a person who had the power to control.

I thought of Kaz Brekker and the circumstances that led to his phobia; Celeana Sadorthien and the cruelty she endured as she grew up; Aaron Warner who suffered abuse at the hand of his own father and so many others.

But although the characters above are fictional their pain is real because it happens to real people.

I have read reviews that call this story a “cute romance". I nearly laughed! This story isn't a romance. It isn't cute. This story is about love and a mountain of hurt; it's about the sacrifices made for love.

The story is told from Jessica's POV.

I wasn't sure how to feel about Jessica in the beginning. I personally thought she seemed a bit immature but I remembered that she was only seventeen when she meets Danny. Being a typical teen, she's focused on what seventeen year olds focus on…friends, boys, having a fun time…boys, school, sex…boys. Typical stuff.

But when she meets Daniel…OMG! Her world changes!

I wanted my partner back, with all of his quirks. As enjoyable as the vacation in Italy was, none of it had given me anything close to what I got from Danny. More than anything, it couldn’t fill the hole in my heart created by his absence. Without him, I just didn’t feel complete. It was like part of me had been torn away and exiled to the end of the world.

I loved this girl by the end of this book. The emotional toll, the awareness that she gained, her compassion, her feistiness…the measure of her love for Daniel lifted me up! It made me wish that there could be more Jessica's in this world.

We resided together in unconditional love, united through pain and cemented through the trust we’d worked so hard to build between us.
We were one, and we would remain so for all eternity.

My heart cried, laughed, wanted to kick the next jerk right along with her because her feelings, her reactions could be a mirror of so many of us including myself. Her thoughts were my thoughts and I felt ashamed right along with her at times for agreeing with them.

Why didn’t we have ordinary problems like everyone else? Why didn’t we ever fight about who left their shoes lying around, or who forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste? Why didn’t we have jealousy issues or normal doubts about our relationship? Why was everything about us so different from other couples our age? Why did I have to deal with so much sickness and death, when I was still so young?

Ugh!!!! See what I mean?!

Daniel (Danny) Taylor is the subject of Jessica's affection and the one whom this story revolves around.

Again, I wasn't quite sure what to make of Danny. When we first meet him he seems like the typical, over confident, sassy, hottie that all the gals drool over. I wasn't certain what had crawled up Danny’s boxers but on the surface the guy was just one big, conceited jerk!

As we get to know more about Danny…as he reveals himself to us through Jessica's eyes, my heart BROKE for this guy!

“I’m so screwed up. Even if I lived to be a hundred, it wouldn’t be enough time for me to learn how to be halfway normal.”

GAH!!!!

I cried because this wasn’t just a story…this had been Danny's life! As horrible and painful as it had been, he had managed to pick up the pieces of his shattered soul and instead of wallowing he gave to others-- he gave of himself, his time, his material goods; he allowed someone to get close enough to him to love; to give someone the chance to see his worth. And even when things looked their bleakest Danny's soul shined through.

“You can do this, Ducky. Everything’s okay. You just can’t let it get to you this much. Pretend it’s just a movie.” He was the one trying to give me courage, when it should have been the other way around.

Sadly, there are many Danny's out there. Too many!

I can't begin to formulate adequate thoughts that could encompass what Danny's story made me feel. So I will let him tell you…

“So much pain and suffering could be prevented if the people in this miserable country would open their eyes and see what’s happening around them. But they’re just caught up in their own insignificant little problems, focused on their own pathetic existence. They could care less about the living beings around them.”

I will remember Danny's words.

Then there was Christina. She was Danny's best friend. Again, I cannot imagine the torment this girl lived. And trying to image it is quite heart wrenching. Reading Christina's struggle to cope with her past and all that pain hurt me. I felt physically ill. I loved that she had Danny as a support…more like her rock. I wish all people suffering like Christina had someone like Danny in their corner.

Truth be told, I wouldn't feel comfortable with my boyfriend being so hands on even with a best friend. The lines felt a bit blurred for me between Danny and Tina but I had to keep reminding myself that this was not a “normal" situation. This bond was formed between two very damaged people that had nowhere else to go and had found comfort, solace and understanding in each other. And though I may not understand the depth of it, it helped them cope.

However, by the end of the book I was bitterly angry with Tina. I won't reveal the circumstances behind my feelings so you will need to read the story in order to determine how you would feel. Yet, I am still angry. I wonder if I'm being overly critical of Tina but a part of me is indignant for Danny and Jessica. Anyway, I'm sure I will continue to process this and maybe one day I will understand.

But I also find myself angry with Danny. A part of me pleads with me to understand him. It just hurts. And I feel horrible. As I'm writing this, I'm misty eyed. I can't understand it and it's frustrating! And what makes it worse is that he had been condemned to this life!

The letter Danny wrote at the end…Gah!!!

I would encourage anyone who can get their hands on this book to read it. It will make you look inside the mirror of YOU; to open your eyes and look beyond the trivialities of what we call life and help people whenever we can.

Thanks to my GR friend, Beth for the recommendation.

And thank you, Jessica Koch for sending me a copy and sharing this wonderfully soul searching story.

I'm happy I got an opportunity to know Danny.

Highly Recommended

[le.lyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Es ist die traurigste und zugleich schönste (wahre) Liebesgeschichte, die ich bisher gelesen habe. Der Film hat mir schon sehr zugesagt, aber das Buch hat mich leer und unendlich traurig zurückgelassen. Absolute Weiterempfehlung!

[Emma♔☯ (Bookishfix) · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received a copy of this novel from the author in exchange for an honest review*
Trigger warning: Rape/Abuse/Drug Abuse/ Suicidal thoughts.

I don't think anything I write in this review will do this book justice, I just can't find the words to express just how much it touched me and what I felt while reading this. I had no idea what I was getting into before reading this book, I thought this was going to be a fluffy cute contemporary, boy was I WRONG. This is based on a true story, a full-blown emotional rollercoaster about love, abuse, despair, life lessons, friendship, and tragedy. This was originally written in German but has now been translated into English, don't let that put you off because the translation is done really well, and if I didn't know beforehand I wouldn't have even noticed while reading it. I praise Jessica Koch for sharing/writing such a powerful yet heartbreaking story, it will touch many people, maybe even teach some a thing or two about acceptance and love.

This story follows Jessica, average teenage whos life completely changes through a random encounter at a fair. Danny is beautiful, charming, confident, but at times weird and closed off. With their relationship growing, Jessica slowly brings down the walls Danny he has built around himself, and what she finds may just change her life forever. What lies in his past that haunts him still? Why would such a young man be so scared to get close to anyone? When the truth comes out, when all cards are on the table, Jessica must make the decision to stay and fight or leave and forget- her decision ultimately changing the course of her life and Danny's, making her into the person she is today and learning some of the hardest life lessons at such a young age.

This is a book that teaches us not to judge others, not to jump to conclusions, love instead of hate and get the full story before we make any decisions about the future. It's also about loyalty, trust, friendship and the deepest of loves. The message is clear and powerful, it shines through the darkness and will change the lives/thinking of anyone who reads it.
It also touches on a lot of dark topics: Rape, abuse, drug use, hatred and suicidal thoughts. Some parts were hard to read because it was so full of emotion it felt like it was literally stabbing my heart time and time again. Pure raw emotion, this is what this book is made of. The fact that this is based on a true story blows my mind. I cannot imagine the pain, suffering, and helplessness felt during this time for both Jessica and Danny. Life can be so unfair and cruel, which is definitely something the novel shows us time and time again.

The character development is phenomenal. Jessica goes from your average teen to a woman in just a couple of years- facing some of the hardest things life can throw at you at such a young age, ultimately shaping her for the rest of her life.
Danny goes from a confident, adventurous, beautiful, yet odd boy. To a deeply wounded, and traumatized young man who must push through even with everything standing against him. He is a genuine character, he was real and his story will touch many people. It is absolutely heartbreaking, I cried so many times while reading this, and in all honesty, only a person with a heart made of ice would feel nothing from reading what this young man goes through, and what he has had to live with because of the actions of someone else.

In all, this book really hit me hard, I may have even learned a thing or two from reading this. It made me feel so much raw emotion and it will definitely be a book I remember and recommend for years to come. The ending made me cry and parts made me want to scream and seek justice for Danny and Jessica. I can see the love that went into writing this novel. As this isn't a fairytale, we don't finish with a happy ending but there is hope for the future. When Jessica explains what encouraged her to write this book, I thought that was amazing. In a way, I think Danny would be happy their story is getting out there and touching so many people. What a way to honor him.

Recommended for: Contemporary / Romance/ Adult

[Steffi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ich hab einen Klos im Hals.

Wahnsinn. Man merkt dass das Buch zur Verarbeitung geschrieben wurde. Es ist so viel Gefühl reingesteckt worden. Stellenweise war es langatmig, aber es ist einfach so echt, so real.
Ein sehr sensibles Thema wird einem hier näher gebracht. Man gerät ins Grübeln, was man selber in so ner Situation machen würde.
Was mich am meisten flashed ist, wie Danny mit allem umgeht. Diese positive Lebenseinstellung. Davon kann man sich ne große Scheibe abschneiden.

Aus der Scheiße wachsen die schönsten Rosen.

Danke für den Mut alles aufzuschreiben! Super Schreibstil!
___________________________
Dieses Buch ist so unbeschreiblich. Ich klapps schon wieder zu und sitz mit Tränen da und war auch während dem Lesen in ihrer Traurigkeit mit gefangen und hab ein Stück mit Jessica, Danny und Tina gelebt.

Ich bewunder Danny immer noch. Auch Tina. Ich finds auch wahnsinn, dass man sich in so eine Welt ziehen lassen kann und schafft damit umzugehen, obwohl man gar nicht an der schwarzen Seite gelebt hat. Zumindest liest man nichts davon, dass Jessica Erfahrung mit schwierigen Situationen zuvor hatte. Ich fand sie ging damit auch richtig stark um und hat sich tapfer in dieser Zeit geschlagen.

Diese Melancholie, dieser Schmerz, dieses tiefe Gefühl von der ersten bis zur letzten Seite. Es berührt mich tief und macht mich sehr nachdenklich.

Freu mich auch auf die anderen beiden Bände.

[Kaya Dimitrova · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ревю => http://justonebooklover.blogspot.bg/2...
~ ~ ~
В "Толкова близо до хоризонта" авторката Джесика Кох ни представя три години от своя живот. Три години, през които тя среща своята сродна душа, изправя се пред страха от това да изгубиш най-близкия си човек във всеки един момент, изпитва крайните емоции на отчаяние и надежда, много радост, но и много горчивина и нито за миг не се разкайва за пътя, по който е поела - този на любовта. Един откровен, чувствен, болезнен разказ, който ми донесе много радостни усмивки, но и много сълзи от тъга.

[Stanislav Lozanov · Rating 5 out of 5]

Само 2 неща ще кажа:
1. Прочетох 220 страници за един ден (което никога не съм правил)
2. Ревах в просължение на 10 страници (Епилога) и то ugly cry

Видео ревю: https://youtu.be/DNt0OPC69dU

[Галина Ганова · Rating 5 out of 5]

Тази книга е толкова невероятно болезнена история. която е трябвало да бъде разказана. Плаках през последните 100 страници, но и съм толкова благодарна, че успях да се докосна до историята на Джесика Кох. Благодарна съм, че има такива книги, които ни показват истински важните неща в живота.В момента чуствам толкова тъга, че не мога да се събера достатъчно, за да продължа да разказвам колко заобичах тази книга....Просто нямам думи да опиша каква емоционална каша предизвика в мен, по един безкрайно добър начин.

[Brooke — brooklynnnnereads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautiful yet heartbreaking true story has left me speechless.

In no way will I be able to review this title with the justice it deserves but I will try and compose myself to say a few words to hopefully encourage others to read it. Honestly, I want everyone to read this as it will give you a new perspective on life in addition to the unknown behind an individual's personal background.

I don't want to spoil anything so I will keep this review as vague as possible as I believe that is how this book is meant to be read. I can tell you that I was glued to the pages needing to know each individual's outcome and I had a hard time putting this book down.

For those who love novels written by Nicholas Sparks, Jojo Moyes, and Jodi Picoult: I highly encourage you to give this book a chance. As much as I love those novels, this novel was even more emotional and heartbreaking due to the fact that it was a true story. I was rooting for each character and felt immensely invested to each of them while I was reading. There were moments that had me laughing as well as moments that had me crying. Overall, I had an overwhelming sense of disbelief that this was reality. It was a written example on how life isn't fair. That much should not be dealt to one person in their lifetime (or even to this trio at all).

I will be encouraging as many people as possible in my personal life to read this novel. The story has deeply impacted me and my thoughts regarding love, life, death, prejudice, etc. It's a very meaningful story about life and how each person has their own story.

***Thank you very much to the author Jessica Koch for sending me this novel in exchange for an honest review. I am forever grateful to have received a copy and will always remember your story.***

[Lana *Best left alone with books and snacks* · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't start this review without thanking amazing Jessica Koch for sending me a copy of this book. I feel incredibly lucky and grateful to have read it and cry my heart out for it. So thank you, Jessica.

There are three types of good books in my opinion:
1. The ones that make you feel good for a minute and then you forget about them.
2. The epic ones that make you want to read and reread 'em over and over.
3. The ones that touch something deep inside of you and you are never the same after the experience.

It's safe to say So Near the Horizon will forever be in the third category for me, because it opened my eyes to things I never would have stumbled in on my own.

I won't be able to give this book justice, so I'll just say one more thing about it...

It's a heartbrakingly beautiful love letter that we got a privilege to sneak a pick into.

Over and out

[Pikolina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rozando las 4*
Es una historia de amor muy bonita, pero también muy dura, muy triste, muy cruda.
El estilo de escritura me ha gustado, aunque hay cosas que no me han resultado creíbles (la historia es real, pero no se cuanto está inflado e inventado para rellenar y cuanto no) y otras que me han sacado de quicio.
Danny me ha parecido un chico estupendo.
Historia para leer con clinex cerca.

[Ivonne]

Diese Rezension enthält Spoiler!

Es erfolgt keine Bewertung aus nachfolgenden Gründen:

Dem Horizont so nah von Jessica Koch ist aktuell in aller Munde, was vermutlich unter anderem der Tatsache geschuldet ist, dass die Verfilmung des Buches kürzlich Premiere gefeiert hat. Doch auch zuvor sah ich dieses Buch immer mal wieder auf diversen Social Media Accounts und (Bücher)blogs. Leser schwärmten von einer herzzerreißenden Liebesgeschichte und versprachen Gänsehaut pur, einige sprachen sogar von einer lebensverändernden Geschichte, die man so noch nicht gelesen hat.

All meinen guten Vorsätzen zum Trotz, mich von dieser Art von Büchern fernzuhalten, hat es Instagram dann aber doch wieder geschafft, mich zum Kauf eines Buches zu verführen, welches eigentlich nicht (mehr) meinem Beuteschema entspricht und definitiv nicht zu meinem bevorzugten Genre gehört. Da sieht man mal wieder, wie einflussreich diese Buchcommunity sein kann. Wie dem auch sei – ich wurde neugierig auf diese Geschichte, die so intensiv, herzzerreißend, gar lebensverändernd sein sollte. Ich investierte also die 10 EUR in das Taschenbuch und begann auch schnurstracks zu Lesen. Die immer wieder auftauchenden Fotos der Premiere, sowie diverser Filmausschnitte schürten meine Neugierde. In weniger als 24 Stunden hatte ich das 470 Seiten lange Buch durchgelesen. Was daraus geworden ist? Eine ziemlich intensive Hassliebe. Weshalb genau möchte ich euch anhand der nachfolgenden vier Gründe versuchen, etwas genauer zu erläutern.

Zwei Gründe, weshalb ich das Buch liebe

1. HIV

Habt ihr jemals ein Buch gelesen, in dem eine HIV-Infektion/Erkrankung eine Rolle spielt? Ich bewusst bisher nur eines. Ich hatte keine Ahnung, dass es in diesem Buch um genau dieses Thema geht, als ich mich dazu entschloss, es zu lesen. Ich war überrascht, positiv überrascht, auch wenn ich natürlich bereits ahnte, dass diese Geschichte niemals gut enden kann und wird. HIV und Aids sind auch in unserer heutigen Zeit nach wie vor Tabuthemen, Themen, über die viel häufiger und vor allen Dingen viel offener gesprochen werden sollte, vor allen Dingen, wenn man bedenkt, wie viele Menschen sich nach wie vor allein in Deutschland mit dieser Krankheit anstecken und das unter anderem auch, weil die Leute einfach nicht aufgeklärt genug sind. Wer spricht schon gerne über ein solches Thema? Über Sex spricht man doch ohnehin nicht gerne, zumindest nicht mit den Eltern oder Lehrern, mit eben den Personen, die eigentlich die Aufklärungsarbeit leisten sollten. Wenn dann auch noch Geschlechtskrankheiten ins Spiel gebracht werden, ist die Hemmschwelle noch höher und man schweigt es einfach tot, statt darüber zu sprechen.

Deshalb war ich auch sehr erstaunt, dass HIV und Aids tatsächlich ein solch wichtiges Thema in diesem Buch spielen. In Verbindung mit der Tatsache, dass es sich hierbei um eine wahre Geschichte handelt, wirkt das Ganze natürlich noch mal ganz anders; intensiver, angsteinflößender – dieses Thema ist plötzlich gar nicht mehr so weit weg, wie man es sonst immer gewohnt war.

Ich für meinen Teil habe kein Problem damit, offen über dieses Thema zu sprechen. Aufgrund meiner Hypochondrie hatte ich ohnehin schon gefühlt jede Krankheit mindestens einmal, zumindest psychisch. Ich habe in jungen Jahren daher nicht nur super viel darüber recherchieret (ich kann euch jedes einzelne mögliche Symptom, Krankheitsverlauf etc. pp. im Schlaf aufsagen), sondern habe selbst auch bereits einen HIV-Test gemacht. Aufgrund dessen, dass ich auch regelmäßig zum Blutspenden gehe, wird mein Blut ohnehin regelmäßig auf HIV getestet.

In meinen Augen ist es wahnsinnig wichtig, dass man – insbesondere auch junge Menschen – über die Gefahren aufklärt; über die Krankheit an sich. Auch wenn es heute – anders als im Jahre 2000 – Medikamente gibt, die den Ausbruch von Aids verhindern können, ist es wichtig, dass Aufklärungsarbeit geleistet wird – auch hinsichtlich anderer Geschlechtskrankheiten.

Dass diese Thematik in diesem Buch mithin so ausführlich und intensiv behandelt wird, ist in meinen Augen einfach nur großartig und unglaublich wichtig.

2. Dannys Geschichte

Ich habe geweint. Ich habe so viel geweint, dass mir am Ende sogar die Brust weh tat und ich Schwierigkeiten hatte, zu atmen. Dannys Geschichte hat mich innerlich zerrissen. Während mich die Lovestory zwischen ihm und Jessica völlig kalt gelassen hat, ist mir seine Geschichte durch Mark und Bein gegangen.

Bei Dannys Geschichte handelt es sich um eine wahre Geschichte, dennoch stehe ich der Sache zumindest minimal skeptisch gegenüber und kann dieses kleine Männchen in meinem Kopf, das mich immer wieder fragt: “Woher willst du wissen, ob es wirklich genau so war?” nicht ausstellen. Zumindest aber habe ich es schon mal geschafft, dass Männchen zur Seite zu schieben und ihm den Mund zu stopfen, sodass seine Worte nur noch sehr dumpf an mein Gehör dringen. Wenn ich diese Worte einfach mal ausblende und vergesse, kann ich sagen, dass mich selten eine Geschichte so wahnsinnig berührt hat wie seine. Aus genau diesem Grund hätte ich mir daher auch mehr Danny gewünscht und weniger Danny und Jessica.

Obwohl oben eine Spoilerwarnung steht möchte ich nicht zu viel verraten, weshalb ich mich jetzt mal auf diesen kurzen Absatz hier beschränke. Dannys Geschichte jedenfalls steckt mir noch immer tief in den Knochen und obwohl es schon Tage her ist, seit ich das Buch gelesen habe, schleppe ich noch immer dieses bedrückende Gefühl in meiner Magengrube mit mir herum. Jeden Tag muss ich an ihn denken, habe unzählige Fragen in meinem Kopf, nicht nur Fragen, die sein Leben betreffen, sondern auch ein großes WARUM? Seine Geschichte hat da irgendetwas ganz tief in mir berührt und selbst jetzt, wo ich diese Zeilen schreibe, kullern mir vereinzelte Tränen über die Wangen.


Zwei Gründe, weshalb ich das Buch hasse

1. Die Protagonistin: Jessica

Damit möchte ich nicht sagen, dass ich die Autorin hasse. Das Buch basiert auf einer wahren Geschichte, um genau zu sein, auf der Geschichte der Autorin selbst. Bei der Protagonistin Jessica handelt es sich mithin um die Autorin Jessica Koch, die ich mit dieser Aussage auf gar keinen Fall persönlich angreifen möchte. Im Endeffekt kann ja ohnehin niemand genau sagen, wie viel von der Autorin tatsächlich in der Jessica aus dem Buch steckt. Da ich die Autorin auch nicht kenne, nie verfolgt habe und noch nicht einmal einen Instagram oder Facebook Post von ihr gelesen habe (ich weiß noch nicht einmal, wie sie aussieht), existiert für mich zumindest für jetzt nur die Jessica aus dem Buch und zu ihr kann ich nur sagen, dass ich sie als einen selbstsüchtigen, arroganten, aufdringlichen, teilweise unsensiblen Menschen mit jede Menge Vorurteilen wahrgenommen habe.

Wie sagt man so schön? Vorne rum so, hinten rum so – irgendwie beschreibt das Jessica ziemlich genau. Auf den ersten Blick mag sie ein sympathisches junges Mädchen sein, wenn man etwas genauer hinschaut; einfach mal zwischen den Zeilen liest, wird einem schnell klar, dass dem leider nicht so ist – ganz im Gegenteil. Sie sagt zwar das eine, meint aber das andere und im Endeffekt tut sie dann weder das eine, noch das andere, sondern etwas komplett anderes.

Was mir aber am meisten gegen den Strich gegangen ist, ist ihr Schubladendenken. Ihr Denken besteht fast ausschließlich aus Vorurteilen. Insbesondere kristallisiert sich dies in einer ganz bestimmten Situation heraus. Zu Gute halten muss man ihr hier vielleicht, dass sich diese Geschichte zwischen 2000 und 2003 abspielt, sprich, damals waren die Leute was HIV angeht, noch nicht so aufgeklärt wie heute, aber da Jessica bereits von Beginn an, von der wahren und großen Liebe spricht; sich selbst und Danny verspricht, ihre Entscheidung für “Tor 2” wäre für die Ewigkeit, war ihre Reaktion auf Dannys “Beichte”, dass er HIV-positiv ist, unterste Schublade.

Nachdem er ihr auf ihr Drängen hin endlich seine Geschichte von sexuellem Missbrauch und der damit einhergehenden HIV-Infektion erzählt, macht sie ihm nicht nur Vorwürfe, dass er ihr das nicht schon früher erzählt hat, sondern wirft mit kränkenden und homophoben Kommentaren wie “das bekommen doch nur Sch…” um sich und lässt ihn am Ende zusätzlich auch noch sitzen. Natürlich ist es vollkommen in Ordnung, schockiert zu sein und ich bin mir sicher, dass vielleicht jeder von uns in eine Art Angstzustand verfällt, wenn der Partner plötzlich so eine Bombe platzen lässt, doch abgesehen davon, dass Danny nie irgendetwas getan hat, um sie einer Ansteckungsgefahr auszusetzen, wäre es in meinen Augen angebrachter gewesen, die eigene Angst erst mal runterzuschlucken und für Danny da zu sein. Er ist derjenige, der von seinem Vater sexuell missbraucht wurde und als Konsequenz davon eine HIV-Infektion davongetragen hat. Er ist derjenige mit der kaputten Kindheit, mit der missbrauchten Seele und sie echauffiert sich darüber, dass er es nicht für nötig erachtet hat, ihr zu sagen, dass er HIV-positiv ist? HIV ist nicht mal eine meldepflichtige Krankheit, man ist nicht dazu verpflichtet zu sagen, dass man HIV positiv ist. Außerdem hatten sie sich bis zu diesem Zeitpunkt nur geküsst und – sorry, Jahr 2000 hin oder her – sollte man doch eigentlich wissen, dass HIV nicht durch Küssen übertragbar ist.

Jessica rennt also weg, ruft Dannys beste Freundin an und fängt an, auch ihr Vorwürfe zu machen, warum sie es ihr nicht erzählt habe. Ich meine, hallo? Danny ist der Einzige, der entscheidet, wann und wem er von seiner Krankheit erzählt, niemand sonst. Sie regt sich also über Danny auf (ihre Wortwahl ist einfach nur zum Davonlaufen) und anschließend geht sie zu Danny zurück und tut so, als wäre nichts gewesen; als wäre alles super, als wäre alles toll und erzählt ihm, sie wäre immer für ihn da? Ich sag ja, hinten rum so, vorne rum so.

Dieses Verhalten zieht sich wie ein roter Faden durch die gesamte Geschichte. Man muss ihr zugestehen, sie entwickelt sich weiter, ihre Vorurteile allerdings legt sie nicht vollends ab, ganz zu schweigen von ihrem teilweise sehr egoistischen und selbstsüchtigen Verhalten.

Wegen ihr hätte ich das Buch beinahe abgebrochen. Ich war so kurz davor, das Buch in die Tonne zu kloppen (innerlich habe ich schon meinen 10 EUR hinterher geweint), doch mit der Zeit wurde sie dann tatsächlich etwas erträglicher (nach den ersten 200 Seiten). Sie hat dazu gelernt, was mich letztendlich doch dazu veranlasst hat, weiterzulesen.

Sehr negativ aufgestoßen ist mir dann aber wiederum der Epilog. Die Autorin stellt sich für meinen Geschmack wie eine selbstlose Märtyrerin hin. Hinzu kommt, dass die Bitterkeit über das nicht erhaltene Geld definitiv spürbar zwischen den Zeilen herauszulesen ist, auch wenn sie von sich selbst behauptet, dass es ihr egal war. Es hat sich einfach angefühlt als wolle sie sagen “Ich bin so viel besser als du“, was einen ziemlich faden Beigeschmack hatte.

2. Die Lovestory

Dieser Punkt steht vermutlich in Verbindung mit meiner Abneigung gegenüber Jessica, doch ich muss ganz ehrlich sagen, dass ich die Lovestory völlig Fehl am Platz fand. Mag ja sein, dass es sich so zugetragen hat, mag sein, dass es alles genau so war, für meine Begriffe allerdings hätte bei einer solchen Geschichte nicht die Lovestory im Fokus stehen dürfen, sondern Dannys Geschichte. Es fühlte sich so erzwungen an; so künstlich irgendwie.

Ich empfand die Lovestory einfach als falsch, zumindest in diesem Ausmaß. Ohne diese Lovestory; hätte die Autorin sich tatsächlich nur auf Dannys Geschichte konzentriert, wäre das Buch sicherlich um einiges besser, in dem Fall dann vielleicht sogar tatsächlich lebensverändernd, gewesen.

Mehr gibts auf https://ivybooknerd.com/4-gruende-wes...

[Elisabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Das Buch ist extrem eindrucksvoll. Es zerstört einen innerlich, weil es so lebensnah und echt wirkt, loslassen wird es mich so schnell nicht mehr. Mir haben die Charaktere unheimlich gut gefallen, dazu ist aber auch der Stil besonders, weil wir nur das wichtige und wesentliche erfahren und das hat es in sich. Das Buch ist emotional und so intensiv, es geht einfach extrem unter die Haut. Auch, wenn ich ein bisschen Angst davor habe, was uns erwartet, muss ich die Reihe einfach weiterlesen.

[Andzhelika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Цялото ревю:
http://booksomnia.com/tolkova-blizo-d...

„Толкова близо до хоризонта“ е една съкрушителна, емоционално наситена история за любов и приятелство. Тук авторката ни разказва три години от своя живот. Три години, изпълнени с невъзможни неща. Препятствия. Изпитания. Загуба. Три години търсене на щастие и намиране на болка. Тази книга ще ви разтърси, ще ви натъжи, ще ви ядоса. Ще събуди всичките ви инстинкти, дори тези, които не сте подозирали, че имате. Ще ви накара да се гневите на хората, на света, на живота, заради техните жестокости и несправедливости.

[Dianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

What begins as a chance flirtation between two strangers in a bar becomes a love story that will face adversity, prejudice, loss and the pain of the reality that life is merely a fragile flower that is easily crushed.

Jessica Koch’s SO NEAR THE HORIZON is a gut-clenching tale of love that becomes even more amazing in that it is based on a true story whose ending is a merely a bittersweet beginning for two souls forever linked by the time they shared as they raced against time to grasp at every moment they had.

To be honest, I had a hard time warming to Jessica. She seemed too edgy, too dramatic, but within just a few pages, her true personality and depth was uncovered as her relationship with Danny grew. Danny was what every hero should aspire to be. No, he didn’t have super powers, he had heart and compassion and knew how to take everything that life handed him and still give back the best he had.

This is a story of growth and acceptance and standing strong as a team. I laughed, I cried, I gasped and I realized I will never forget the story of Danny and Jessica, proof that no matter the ending, it was the journey that makes the story real. A true hidden gem!

Kudos to the translator who was flawless! I received this copy from Jessica Koch!

Series: The Danny Trilogy - Book 1
Publication date: September 6th 2017
Publisher: FeuerWerke Verlag (September 6, 2017)
Genres: Contemporary, New Adult, Romance
Print Length: 389 pages
Available from: Amazon
For Reviews & More: http://tometender.blogspot.com

[Eliza · Rating 2 out of 5]

2/5 Stars

First off, thank you Jessica Koch, for giving me a copy of your novel in exchange for a review. It's much appreciated!

Before I get into specifics, I should probably remind everyone that I don't like Romance novels. I mean, there might be a few Romance novels I like, but I don't go around looking for Romances to read, because they're not my thing. That being said, I like novels including romance, not revolving around it - like this novel did. Therefore, it's my fault for rating this so lowly. I should have paid more attention to what the novel was about, before picking it up.

Once I realized that this book was going to be a Romance novel, I figured I would focus more on the writing and characters to base my review off of - because then, it would be a fair rating. Unfortunately for me, I did not like the characters, and I felt as though the writing was too mediocre - as it tends to be in Romance novels.

I mean, the story was cute sometimes. But overall, it was predictable and not too enjoyable. I wish it could have been more of a stimulating read, and that some of the characters responses could have been toned down. I swear, they acted like it was the end of the world when minor things happened. I just didn't like it.

Overall, I would recommend this to people who like Romance, because I'm sure they would find it entertaining. But, for me? No.

So, I should not have agreed to read this, since I feel bad for rating it so poorly.