Colors

by Russell J. Sanders

High school senior Neil Darrien is a budding musical theater star. He has it all-a beautiful girlfriend, a scholarship at a prestigious school, and plenty of chances to showcase his talent. But when Zane Jeffrey comes to town and immediately lands a spot in the school show choir, Neil is jealous. What Neil didn't count on, though, is Zane's charm and humor, and the two soon become friends.

Melissa, Neil's girlfriend, notices Zane monopolizing Neil and draws Neil into her church. There Neil discovers a situation he knows he needs to fix, but if he does, a deep, dark secret that could cost him his future career might come out.

When his relationship with Melissa becomes rocky, Neil is drawn to Zane in a way that is more than friendship.

Genres: Contemporary, M M Romance, Abuse, Young Adult, Gay, LGBT, Romance

204 pages, Hardcover

First published January 14, 2016

About the author

A teacher, a singer, an actor, a director, a chef, a traveler, a writer...these are all descriptions of native Texas author Russell J. Sanders, now residing in Las Vegas, Nevada. A life spent in Texas led to a relocation adventure, because that's what life is about--embarking on adventures. So he and his husband set out for parts unknown and are loving it! Russell writes young adult novels, and his works are infused with his travel experiences. Thus far, his novels have taken readers to Ft. Worth, Houston, Chicago, Hollywood, and Nova Scotia. Since he has traveled to England, France, Italy, Japan, India, Bali, Jakarta, Toronto, Vancouver, Alaska, and Hawaii, who knows where he may lead his readers next? But one thing is certain, there will likely be a mention of Tex-Mex food in his books, for no matter where he travels, Russell seeks out Mexican food, not searching for the perfect enchilada, but just to experience what the food is like in far away places. It actually was pretty good, he says, in Jakarta, and not so good in Wyoming. Mostly, Russell's goal is to tell the world, through his writing, that we are all put on this earth to love one another, no matter our race, religion, or sexual preference.

Reviews

[Vallie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Colors is a magnificent book. It tells the coming of age story of Neil, a senior in high school who is a musical theatre lover and talented beyond belief. I wouldn’t say this is a romance; rather, it’s the story of a boy finding his way after going through hell and trying to forge a new path for himself.

Neil lives with his aunt after an accident left him orphaned at age nine. I have to say, after the horrific prologue, which made all the creepy crawlies come out, I was so thankful to be thrust into present day and see Neil as an all told well-adjusted teenager taken care of by a loving, wonderful woman. But Neil has demons that he hasn’t spoken about to anyone. These demons plague him every day. They hinder him from going through certain rooms because memories of traumatic events trigger flashbacks when the light hits just the right way.

Aaaaaand there’s no way around it. This book deals with the issue of child abuse at the hands of a Catholic priest. If this is too heavy a subject matter, don’t pick this up. The memories Neil has are not skirted around. They are plentiful and very much present throughout the novel. Neil has PTSD and his flashbacks are debilitating. Throughout the book, he also struggles with his religious beliefs, and makes a tremendous journey in exploring what he believes in. His way of coping is singing. And let me tell you, there is such beauty in the writing. Oh my god. Neil is an actor and he is part of all things choir and musical theatre that he can get his hands on. He is not gay, or so he tells himself. This foundation is shaken when another musical theatre genius comes to his school –a sweetheart by the name of Zane.

The story is told from Neil’s first person POV in present tense. We get snippets of Zane from the texts he exchanges with his good friend Cara. Zane is a force to be reckoned with. He is flamboyant, super in your face, adorably cute, and one smart kid. Of course he’s gay and he crushes on Neil big time, a fact that Neil’s girlfriend doesn’t miss.

A word about the girlfriend. I don’t even want to say her name. She is one of the most hated characters I’ve read in a long time. Granted, she’s underage, but for all her “praise Jesus” attitude, she is one narrow-minded ignorant hater. Not only because she dislikes Zane on the spot and makes it known that it’s due to his homosexuality, but the way she treats Neil later in the book? I wanted to reach into my ipad and bash her head in. You will too, I guarantee it. No redemption for her either. She remains the quintessential, small-town bigot forever and ever.

But in the midst of all the upheaval –the rehearsals, signing for the church choir, auditioning to drama school, and just dealing with life, is a beautiful fledging love story between two boys who are finding each other in all the chaos. There is no sexual intimacy between the characters –not even fade to black. There are some on-page kisses very late in the book but they are so sweet and tender and emotional, I honestly don’t think I needed anything more. I absolutely loved Zane’s influence on Neil, how he enabled Neil to trust people again and to face his fears. Talk about hurt/comfort boy. This is the ticket right here. There is angst galore, but also, music, and acting, and brilliance in the pain.

I have most definitely taken notice of this author and so should you because he went to places that need a lot of guts to go to. The topic of the book isn’t easy but the experience is so very worth it. Sexual abuse is a reality. It happens all around us. It probably happens to people we know and we have no idea about it. There is not enough attention or awareness that we can bring to it and I want to congratulate the author for going there.

I highly recommend this to everyone. Even if you’ve never read mm before, don’t be spooked. It so worth your time.

Galley copy of Colors provided by Harmony Ink press in exchange of an honest review. This review has been cross-posted at Gay Book Reviews.

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Freebie at DSP today: https://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/boo...

[Dutchgirl · Rating 2 out of 5]

To much theater talk, i skipped most of that because it was just to much. I would have liked more development on the actual abuse story and more closure in that department, for example we didn't get to see the reaction of the Church, the pastor/brother Gramm, or the mother of the little kid. I really would have like to read what the consequences for the pastor/brother Gramm were (even if it was in an epilogue) There are just to many unanswered questions in this book and i don't like that.

I guess you can't love all the books you read and this one clearly wasn't for me.

[Raj · Rating 3 out of 5]

I believe if these three authors Mary Renault,Alan Hollinghurst & E. M. Forster had released a book in 2016 combined it would read like Colors.Though it's not exactly to my taste as the writing style carries a weight that is not easily accessible to everyone it is still readable.The book attempts to marry the church with child abuse mixed with heavy musical theater references.And though it did not ignite my reading buds I'm still within my senses to acknowledge good writing that does not rely 95% on sexual shenanigans to put forth a message.

[Jeff Davault · Rating 4 out of 5]

This review likely contains spoilers, though it all depends on one's definition. I purchased this as part of a Dreamspinner special for $1. For a Harmony Ink title, I felt it dealt with a rather adult theme, child molestation.

At first I was sort of torn with this book as Neil deals with the after effects of the prologue. Everything seems as confused as Neil, but eventually Neil discovers and finds the strength to do what needs to be done. On the positive, this book is not a condemnation of religion, but only those who use if for unsavory ends. The ending is heartening, and I am glad the author chose to show how the events impacted Neil's life before the events of the conclusion, and dismissed the freak show that likely occurred afterwards as unnecessary to the book.

I am not quite sure if this review reflects the good feeling I have for the book, but that is likely as much because of the subject matter as anything else. If you want a story about someone finding the courage to speak out against wrongs that he sees being perpetuated on others, after suffering them himself, then I would suggest this book, but if you are seeking a nice teen romance, then this is not book is not for you.

[Elliot · Rating 5 out of 5]

Genre: realistic fiction, YA
3 LGBTQ main character(s): 1 lesbian, 1 gay, 1 questioning/bisexual
1 LGBTQ side character: lesbian

Importance of identities to plot: 3/5
Romance: 2/5
Coming out: yes, and it goes well each time

Notes: TW childhood sexual abuse within the church.

[inaword · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a word: Read the thing. So, here’s the thing with this one: it’s not actually a romance. There is definitely romance in it, but it’s not the main plot of the story. The dilemma of who Neil will end up with is pretty much an afterthought compared to, what I think is, the actual plot: Neil dealing with the sexual abuse he suffered as a child. Really, everything relating to the abuse are the better parts of the book. Mostly they’re definitely the better written parts. There’s so much emotion put into those parts, from horror to worry to guilt to anger to determination to triumph, that’s mostly missing from other parts of the book. And even when the scenes aren’t directly addressing the abuse, the lingering effects are still present in Neil’s day-to-day behaviour and they were pretty consistent. Honestly, I don’t feel like we got adequate closure with that storyline, but it really is the best part of the book for me. (Though I want to note that the book’s summary makes no mention of the abuse, but that is literally happening in the very first scene, so be careful with that.) The parts of the book I wasn’t especially crazy about revolved around relationship drama (with Neil’s girlfriend and the new boy at school that Neil suddenly has a crush on) and a lot about theatre productions that is probably only interesting to people who are actually into theatre and would understand all the references and in-jokes. Honestly though, I was mostly all set to not like this book because the first half had a lot of annoying dialogue and theatre nonsense, but the second half really blew me away.

[read the full post at In A Word]

[Queue · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Wow! This book was amazing. It totally blew me away. I could see the author had talent when I read The Book of Ethan but Colors was even more fantastic.

There are some touchy subjects in the book but they are handled skillfully and realistically and never for titillation.

The main character is Neil Darrien, a budding musical theater star. His life isn’t too bad. He has a girlfriend and a scholarship to an excellent school. He’s also got a secretive past he’d rather forget. Nine years before he was molested by his church’s pastor. It was before the death of his parents and he want to live with his aunt and he’s sure he can leave it in the past.

Things in his well-organized life are shaken up when a new student comes to town and joins the show choir. Zane Jeffrey is unique, a true one of a kind character and he Neil become good friends very quickly. Unfortunately, Neil’s girlfriend, Melissa, isn’t as enamored with Zane as Neil is.

I adored Neil and Zane very much and found them to be original and true to life. Melissa, not so much. She’s somewhat of the stereotypical bitch we see so much in this genre. I gave her some slack because she is a teenager but she just wasn’t a pleasant person. She played with Neil’s emotions and emotionally blackmailed him more than once to get what she wanted and never cared how it affected him.

Despite Neil’s aversion to church and all things religion Neil agrees to perform a song at Melissa’s church. That leads to another performance and then he joins to choir and that leads to a show featuring Neil and Melissa. Each time he performs he has to deal with the colors from the stain glassed windows. It was those colors he focused on while he was being molested.

While Neil is dealing with his performances and relationship with Melissa, his friendship with Zane intensifies. Neil begins to suspect that not only is Zane gay but that he, himself, is as well. He doesn’t have anything against homosexuality but he doesn’t want to think he was made gay because of what happened to him.

The truth about Neil’s abuse comes to light in a very public and absolutely perfect way. He doesn’t come clean because he needs to open up but because he sees the pastor is still up to his old ways.

It was Neil’s decision that made me love him more than I already had. And how the people around him react to that news that set my decisions regarding them. Melissa—Evil. Zane—Amazing. And Neil’s Aunt Jenny—I loved her so much I wish she was my aunt.

I’m not usually a fan of present tense but it didn’t bother me here whatsoever. It wasn’t jarring and actually worked perfectly for Neil’s voice.

This was a unique plot and the entire world was well-thought out; teachers, friends, other students. Except for Melissa there were no stereotypical or cardboard characters.

My one complaint are the short passages that show Zane communicating with his friend Cara. I found them jarring and they pulled me out of the story. But they didn’t ruin the story at all.

Amazing story. Beautifully written. Simply incredible.

http://www.prismbookalliance.com/2016...

[Jaymie · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars! *May Contain Spoilers*

What I liked? The story was technically well written and the author was definitely able to paint a vivid picture of what was going on. I loved the premise and the cover is definitely eye-catching. Unfortunately here comes the "but".

When I first started reading this book I was convinced that it was going to be a very hard and emotional read for me as Neil told his story of the abuse he suffered at the hands of his childhood Pastor. However to me the story seemed to focus more on how he was handling his senior year of high school, juggling his "sort of" girlfriend and then meeting a the new kid who becomes his one and only true friend. Colors wan't really what I had expected it to be and because of that I was left a tad disappointed.

I wanted to learn more about Neil's past, delve a little deeper into the abuse. I wanted to know more about his parents and the church he belonged to that would inadvertently let this happen. We know that Neil's parents were killed in a carjacking and before were very involved in the church but that's it. How can we really get a clear picture of Neil's past? I also wanted to see more resolution. Once it becomes know what happened to him we get only a few sentences of response by those close to Neil. We don't even get a real look at Zane's reaction to everything.

I felt as if the book started off as if it would be a heavy read and then became more of a light read. Because of this, because of the lack of a deeper look into Neil's life outside of theater I never found a way to connect to him and subsequently never grew to actually like him. I hate what happened to him, I felt for what he must have felt and was sad that anyone so young should have to experience anything so horrible but that was pretty much it. There was so much potential for me to fall in love with Neil but it just never happened.

Zane was likable but again I didn't feel we got enough of him, who he truly was and how he felt. The only time we got anything from his POV was in the few text messages between him and his friend from back home and those weren't enough for me to feel as if we knew him. I wish we could have seen more of his interaction with Neil after Neil comes to him and tells him about the abuse. I wish there was a bit more of their developing relationship in the end.

Too much Melissa who was so unlikable I wanted to scream. Too much waffling on how he felt about her and too much of her pressuring him about her church. She was not supportive of him, he couldn't truly confide in her and when he and Zane started to get close she didn't even try to understand. How he continued to put up with this was infuriating and went on far too long.

In other words, too much of the new church and not enough of Neil's childhood church. Too much theater without anything really life changing happening other than meeting Zane. Not enough backstory and definitely not enough resolution.

*ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for honest review.

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review contains no spoilers.

With a beautiful girlfriend, a scholarship to a prestigious musical theater school, and talent to spare, life is good for high school senior Neil Darrien. He’s on his way to stardom, but then newcomer Zane Jeffrey secures a place in the school show choir, rousing Neil’s envy.

Neil soon sees there’s more to Zane than a talented performer, though – he’s funny and charming, and the two boys become friends. Neil’s girlfriend Melissa doesn’t like Neil spending so much time with Zane, and she draws Neil into her church. There, Neil is faced with a choice between righting a wrong and risking revealing a secret that could cost him everything he’s worked so hard to achieve.

As Neil’s relationship with Melissa deteriorates, Neil starts to see Zane in a different light – one that has him thinking of Zane as more than just a friend.

Ever start reading a book in a genre you don’t usually read and you expect it to be groundbreaking with eye-opening epiphanies on every page?

Yeah, me neither.

Colors is a well-written and timely story. The main characters – Neil, Melissa, Zane, and Aunt Jenny – come across as people you’d want to know and have in your life. Unfortunately, the decision that Neil has to make to right a wrong concerns something that happens far too often and stays hidden, sometimes for a lifetime. Ultimately, it is this struggle that also makes the novel worth reading. There are no easy answers to Neil’s dilemma, and everything isn’t wrapped up neatly like a package at the end, though it comes dangerously close.

If there is a fault with Colors it is that it almost slips into afternoon special/Saturday morning TV mode near the end. The author gets back on track quickly and ends with me wanting to read more about Neil, his aunt Jenny, Zane, and Zane’s friend Cara (who is only heard from when she and Zane text each other).

Rating 4.5 Stars (bumped up to 5 as 1/4, 1/2, and 3/4 stars not an option)

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Harmony Ink Press (through NetGalley) in exchange for my honest review.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Colors by author Russell J. Sanders is a very touching coming of age type of story. Neil has gone through trauma as a young child, he was betrayed by the very adults who should have been protecting him. His silence about the events has colored his entire teen years. He loves to sing in the church choir but the memories of what happened there years ago will not let him be free. He makes up personalities in his head, and acts like all is okay, when in truth that is the farthest from the truth.
Zane is the new kid in town and the only one that Neil feels he can be himself around. He wants to be an actor. They both build a friendship that is strong.
With this friendship Neil learns to be accepting of himself just the way he is, and to finally be free. Beautifully done story with lots of angst and love inside. I really liked this one made me remember to always accept my own self just the way I am.



Five Shooting Stars

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably a ranking of about 3.5 if that was an option. A good story, but with frustrating elements that detracted from completely enjoying the book.

[Coco.V]

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