Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days

by Douglas Brown

Outside of her family and close friends, Annie had not mentioned the sexathon to anybody, which probably was the best way to go. I, however, had blathered on about the endeavor to anybody with ears. It was the whole Heisman Trophy thing. On this, my first day back in the office after kicking off the sexpedition, my boss blushed when she saw me. Another boss reddened as well. Yet another beheld me, took a few steps back, and asked, “Uh, how’s it going?” He actually circumnavigated me after I answered, like I’d morphed into some hellion driven by fierce, feral loin power . . . I felt stronger. I felt suave. I felt—gasp—Mediterranean. I’d instantly become an objectified sexual That man had sex last night! He is going to do it again tonight! Wow!
—From Just Do It

Creeping into middle-age and saddled with work deadlines, child-rearing, homemaking, and fourteen years of togetherness, an ordinary, happy but harried couple set an outlandish to have sex for 101 consecutive days—no excuses (not even the flu, late-night child wanderings, or flat-out exhaustion).

What ensued is by turns hilarious, tender, and seductive, including sexual romps in hotels (both cheap and classy), at an ashram, in a basement, atop boulders and unstable easy chairs, but most often in their own bedroom, which they dubbed the “sex den.” As Doug and Annie Brown literally screwed their way through months of a cold Colorado winter, they turned up the heat by attending the Adult Entertainment Expo in Vegas (the Oscars of the porn world); taking Bikram “hot” yoga to get limber; and stocking up on candles, Viagra (just in case), lube, lingerie, and sex toys galore.

But besides the awe in their ability to get it on day after day—and actually enjoy it—they were more surprised and touched by how much closer they became, relishing conversations, holding hands, hanging out in hip coffee shops together instead of in the aisles of Target, and firming up (no pun intended) a relationship that already seemed as good as it could get.

Seeking out babysitters, getting fit, and dressing up, these two forty-year-olds began courting each other the way they did when they first met in their twenties, only seven moves and two pregnancies later. As Doug Brown lays everything bare—from his triumphs to his tanks (yes to making love on an exercise ball; no to Tantric sex tricks), we get an inside look at the male mind and discover that a good husband and a good dad can also be one hell of a lover.

The jolt that every marriage needs and longs for, Just Do It proves that even when it feels like there’s never enough time or energy, trust Annie and Doug...THERE IS.

Genres: Nonfiction, Sexuality, Memoir, Self Help

320 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Erin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Let me save you some time.

wife: we should have sex for 100 days in a row!
husband: omg, omg, omg, omg, omg
next 308 pages: we were so tired/sick/busy that normally we wouldn't have had sex, but because of the challenge we did and we are a richer and more fulfilled couple because of it. Neener neener.

This book also bears the distinction of containing some of the worst dialog I have ever read, leading me to conclude that the author does not converse with his wife nearly as much as he....well anyway he clearly doesn't know what a real conversation sounds like.

I wrote this out on my phone because I hated the book THAT MUCH.

[Cortney · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is in the "someone did something for a set amount of time and their random project gave them deep insights into universal human truths" genre- I have a bit of an obsession with this genre, I love projects and goals and random aspirations. I had heard about it a while back, and when I happened upon it in the library I picked it up. It's a quick, funny read, with the author ruminating on family, marriage, love, parenthood.

Despite being about 101 straight nights of married sex, there is very little actual sex talk in the book. The experiments they did talk about were pretty tame- "oh my gosh honey, look, I got a Brazilian wax!" or "let's try a vibrator, for the first time ever!". Honestly, the most shocking thing to me out of the whole book was that, despite sleeping together for 14 years, the author and his wife had never used lube- and they had never even thought about using it, even just for fun. They seemed to approach it as some exotic, kinky thing, which made me think "thank goodness you guys did this sex marathon thing, if only to discover lube".

All in all, a funny, weird read that made me think that marriages are actually, sometimes, happy, healthy relationships to be in. Nice to be reminded of that.

[Lisa Tilleskjor · Rating 1 out of 5]

BORING!!!!! If you want sexy details...do not read this book! It will put you to sleep rather than make you horny.

[Stephanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

The premise of this book was a very interesting one. The execution, however, was poor. Chiefly because, although the author of the piece is supposedly the husband of the couple, he strikes me as being so effeminate that it's hard to believe he really is interested in women.

He does Kegels. He uses verbs such as "floated" and "pranced" when describing himself moving from one place to another. On at least three occasions, he talks about using a "sparkly bath bomb" while bathing. He refers to one store as "a jewel of a cheese shop" and another one as being "too precious." When playing with his kids, he repeatedly play-acts as a witch. Not a wizard or a warlock. A witch. And he describes his family (two kids and wife) as "two magic elves and a charming enchantress." He uses gag-worthy substitutions when refering to his wife's genitalia, including "warm utopia" and "honeyed dominion." Mmm hmm.

Perhaps his wife ghost-wrote this for him and he didn't bother to look it over before it went to press? If not, he's just too much in touch with his inner girly-girl.

Also, he has a tin ear for dialogue. The conversations between people were too tidy and scripted; people don't talk that way.

And, finally, the subtitle of the book ("How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives ...") was simply misleading. The couple owns only one television and appeared to continue using it during the experiment. Rather, it was sleep and reading that appeared to be sacrificed in the name of sex.

Again, this was a good premise. But when I started flipping to the end in order to see how many pages I had left to read, I knew this was not a winner.

[Ellis · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is kind of sweet, but horribly repetitive. "We had sex! We didn't feel like having sex that night! But we did! Sex brought us closer together! We didn't feel like having sex but then we did!" Much like a Dan Brown book, the beginning of each chapter has to remind you what happened in the last chapter for a few paragraphs. If you've read this review, maybe just pretend you've read the book, too, and I won't say anything about my reaction to a 14-year-long sex life prior to the discovery of lube.

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

LAME

[Libscigrl · Rating 1 out of 5]

This has to be one of the most boring books ever. How do you write a book about sex and have it be THIS boring?? zzzzzzz

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars= "It was OK." Brown's experience as a journalist makes this a very clear-cut, accessible read. I would recommend it for people who has ever felt like they have slipped into a ho-hum routine with their spouse -- sexual or otherwise.

So, first the bad: the retelling of the marathon gets a bit repetitive, and Brown's unease in describing the sex scenes is obvious. I can't really blame him; if my husband wanted to write a book with details about our bedroom antics, I would require a bit more censorship than Brown practices. He tries to change up the lingo so as to avoid sounding too clinical or repetitive, but he doesn't always achieve the latter (avoiding repetition), as many of the chapters end up as: we didn't feel like having sex, but we did, and it was nice.

That idea is kind of the one that instigated the challenge in the first place, no? Not that this couple has drifted apart but just that they have found it too easy to put sex on the back burner. Too often couples don't bother to push beyond that initial lethargy. We get the idea early on that making time for sex can be difficult for couples (my first thought was "Get the TV out of the bedroom!"), but it's worthwhile. So, the repetitious structure gets a little tiring.

What I found more interesting was the ways that they had to adjust their overall lifestyle in order to make the act more amenable to both parties, things like keeping the bedroom in an organized state nurturing intimacy, putting for the extra mental energy to come up with new ideas to try, spending time away from the kids, taking care of their bodies, etc. In this way, the book serves as an encouragement to take a look at the little things in your life that stop you and your spouse from having more sex -- not even necessarily sex every day but just breaking up the routine, finding ways to be closer and rekindling desire & fun.

I'm a little surprised by some of the reviews who complain about the "erotica" aspect of this book, in that it's not enough or not a turn-on. This is not erotica, nor is it meant to be. It is nonfiction. It is not about the sex itself so much as the personal challenge and the effect it had on this couple's relationship & lifestyle.

[Sarahlynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Frankly, my expectations couldn't have been any lower. I read all the Amazon.com 1 star reviews. I scorned the idea publicly.

And then I caved and picked up a copy from the library, Ada comfortably settled on my hip. I scored a young librarian, probably somewhere around my own age, but I was in Mommy-running-errands mode and it hadn't even really occurred to me to be too embarrassed about my choice, at least until she carefully and obviously put the book face down on the counter and slid it across to me with . . . was that actually a wink?! "Book club selection," I found myself mumbling inexplicably. "Meeting tomorrow. Probably won't even read the thing."

I was uncomfortable. Who knew?! I started reading and taking notes about what I didn't like. Within a couple of hours, I'd already laughed aloud three times and put down my pen. There were parts that might have been better, parts that I didn't feel entirely comfortable with or had trouble believing. But over all . . . I really enjoyed the book! Which is not to say that Paul and I are going to attempt such a marathon ourselves. Craziness! But I would like for him to read it. There's good relationship stuff in there, in addition to humor and, um, suggestions and stuff.

To go along with the book discussion, my book club had an adult toy party. The engagement was billed as being, "sort of like a Pampered Chef party, but for sex toys." I knew what to expect, but somehow opening my friend's front door and seeing a large collection of colorful . . . toys . . . spread out on the coffee table was still somewhat jarring. No foreplay, just - pow! - vibrating pink silicone right there in view.

Weirdest of all - it was really fun. And the discussion afterward was great.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is much more to this story than I expected. I thought it would be cute & funny, which it is, but it is also a very touching story about how a couple reconnected after 12 years of marriage and two little ones running around. There was nothing "wrong" with their relationship but this experiment brought so much more to their lives and in the end really changed them as a couple. Douglas Brown is a great writer and it is indeed very funny. I loved reading about the things he learned along the way. [return][return]They were a fairly conservative couple sexually speaking and had never done a lot of things that they did do over the course of this 101 days (like attending the National Porn Convention in Vegas) and the results were humorous to say the least! Also, they really committed to this and this means 101 days straight....no matter how tired (or ill!) and that brought up some interesting situations as well. I highly recommend this book to married couples. It is funny, entertaining, sometimes informative and very touching.

[Meryl · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm only half way finished, but life is just too short for me to keep trudging through this book. My issues?

First, if you're going to write a book about having sex every day, you need to be grown-up enough to use proper names for your genetalia--or at the very least, not use terms like "sword" and "scabbard".

Keeping that in mind, second, you also probably need to write about the sex more. I get it that part of the experiment was working sex into life with kids, jobs, etc, but honestly, bo-ring.

Third, you probably need to write about something besides trying a different toys/lubes/positions. I'm think there's probably a very nice how-to guide out there that I could have found if that was what I was interested in. (And it probably would be much more entertaining than this book!)

[Alistair Campbell · Rating 2 out of 5]

A couple decided to do it, literally every day for 100+ days. They let all their friends and family know, and engage in extensive planning to make it happen. Redeeming quality: one of many having the right idea about the importance of physical intimacy in marriage. But this lacked the necessary grounding in selflessness. I might have figured this out myself in the course of reading the book. By the end I was glad the challenge ended. This was a memoir about what life was like during the challenge. Perhaps it was more about the role of mutual yoga.

[Allen · Rating 1 out of 5]

The premise of this book is great; but the author and his wife or horrible at execution and writing about it; which is striking because the guys job is as a journalist. He constantly jumps from thoughts without segues, speaks in inside jokes without explaining them; and to top it off, by the end of the book they essentially learned nothing, they go right back to what they were doing before, and his wife's conceitedness was a big turnoff into getting to like them.

[Brandan Lloyd · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book for married couples. The book describes how easy it is so easy to just skip having sex for a long period of time. The side story of how upset Doug is about being so far away from family and how much he misses them is a bit annoying but overall the book is well written and thought-provoking.

[Leslie Jordan · Rating 1 out of 5]

While I admire this couple doing this experiment and working to be closer together, this story wasn't great to read. Doug goes into detail about every single day's happenings, complains about the children, and sometimes the book reads like soft core porn. I didn't finish the whole thing, it was too detailed, but I liked the premise and some of the statistics in the beginning.

[Gabriela · Rating 2 out of 5]

my boyfriend told me about this interesting book that he had started reading and the plot seemed good.

so i decided to give it a shot.
i thought it would be a cool narrative about this couple that decides to have sex everyday during 100 days.
it's a book that tells the routine of this couple,and damn, it's so boring, it took me over an year to finish reading.
it could be so much more, so much deeper, but it's just too long.
"we started kissing, talking, and had sex" - over 200 pages of this.

[Ashley Pavek · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not the biggest fan of non-fiction but this proved to be a very interesting read and was written well!

[Sara Goldenberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was pretty good but not fabulous.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fairly entertaining read about a couple - married 14 years, two kids under 10 - who decide to re-connect emotionally and physically by having sex (they do define it as intercourse for the project) for 100 days in a row. (Through parenting woes, illness, stress, and more.)

I'm kind of a sucker for the - as another GoodReads reviewer put it - "someone did something for a set amount of time and their random project gave them deep insights into universal human truths" genre, and this was one of the more entertaining ones I've read so far.

The whining about living in Denver and not living in Baltimore anymore - the author and his family had moved before the events in this book - did get old after a while, though.

[Mindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Annie and Doug Brown seemed very genuine and wholesome, and their book captured how fun a good marriage can be. I watched their Today Show interview after I finished the book, and they were like I'd expected them to be. I liked the way the book shows a couple juggling careers and kids and life stuff--but still making time for each other. They made it seem hopeful, and even quite possible, for any couple to be able to ratchet up their closeness level if they want to. The reason I just gave it three stars was that it did get rather repetitive and boring with the retelling of the day-to-day details of their lives; this book seemed better-suited toward a long magazine story format. Also, Doug's mom regularly calling him to inquire about his sex life was weird.

I also just finished Charla Muller's 365 Nights, and that book was a yawn. Save your time and just read Just Do It.

[AuthorsOnTourLive! · Rating 5 out of 5]

Creeping into middle-age and saddled with work deadlines, child-rearing, homemaking, and fourteen years of togetherness, an ordinary, happy but harried couple set an outlandish goal: to have sex for 101 consecutive days-no excuses (not even the flu, late-night child wanderings, or flat-out exhaustion). The jolt that every marriage needs and longs for, Just Do It proves that even when it feels like there's never enough time or energy, trust Doug and his wife, there is!

We met Douglas Brown when he visited the Tattered Cover Bookstore in Denver. You can listen to him talk about Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses! here: http://www.authorsontourlive.com/?p=168

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I saw this book as I was browsing at the library, and having heard about it a while back, figured I'd check it out and see what all the hype had been about. It falls into the category of glad-I-got-it-from-the-library-because-while-entertaining-I-am-fine-with-reading-it-once books. The author has a decent comedic voice (I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was at least partially tongue-in-cheek when referencing his wife's "utopia", etc.); most interesting to me, however, was the way in which their entire relationship changed over the course of their "marathon." It was interesting (though I suppose not surprising) to hear the impact that daily sex had on their level of communication.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wasn't entirely sure what to expect when I started the book. I appreciated that it wasn't too graphic (though I did begin to get uncomfortable in a few places). The humor was fun and I read several parts out loud to my husband, and he laughed too. Overall I was a little disappointed. The title talks about how they turned off the TV - which didn't really seem to be the truth. I guess I was expecting more of a "pow" at the end with the benefits of such a marathon. Inspite of my disappointment, I still enjoyed reading the book, and it made me think about how changes in life - especially when they involve children/parenthood, work, home, etc. - will have a toll on a couple's relationship, and ways to combat it.

[Mary]

I really didn't read this but I read about it in The Baltimore Sun Why should I care about their sex life? (The poor babies, stranded in Colorado, missing their friends in Smalltibore). Why should I care about how it changed their lives? It seems like Morgan Spurlock's 30 days model is being applied to just about everything for good (Julia & Julie) and this, this, I don't even know what to call it.

Looking at how many to-be-reads, I wonder if the book isn't appealing to prurient interest. Reading porn without reading porn. If so, get a copy of 5-Minute Erotica. Or bag the book and get your own candles and lube.

[Lori Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Geez, I really like this book. I'm not even finished reading it yet, but the time I spend reading it is a high point of my day. The couple is "real" and I find them (and their pursuits) charming. And inspiring! I don't find this book over the top at all---I was surprised by some of the other reviews. My husband read this book before I did, and he told me the thing he liked best was the emotional intimacy that developed in the couple's relationship (which was a pretty effective comment to make in getting me to read the book!) But it has the virtue of being true. So not only is it a great feel-good book, but it also serves to get my own creative ideas going.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

While at the library yesterday looking for new books, I sat down at a computor with at another patrons search still open. Scrolling down, this tt title caught my eye. I thought why not look it up? When i found the book, I felt a little embarrassed about reading about someone else's sex life but thought "what the heck? My husband will probably appreciate it". Currently on page 98 and laughing my head off!

I did enjoy this book and think that Doug Brown is a funny writer, but i also got a little tired of how he bashed our Colorado weather! On second thought, maybe it will give others the impression that it is too cold here.

[Ann Feutz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm going to be honest...

This book took me about three months to read. Part of that was because of responsibilities to grad school but the other part was that after I read the first chapter, this book started to drag. It stopped feeling like I was being brought along on their adventure and started feeling like he was just trying to fill the pages.

I think a person who is married with children might have a better appreciation for this book but someone who isn't is likely to have difficulties finding connection with the story.

[Tina Carstens · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, I know that some of you couldn't believe that I put this on my list and others are waiting for my review! It is interesting. The books gets pretty repetitive as you can about imagine but I think some of the revelations they get out of their little "experiment" are good reminders in daily married life. There is some humor in the book and a lot of stories that many married couples especially if you have children can relate to.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Many many funny things here since fodder for our own intimate lives. But also the lesson that couples really do need to make an effort to spend quality time together - communicating, loving (not sex), and being a couple. Despite the sex marathon, this is the message and it is something Brian and I also need to work on. It is a constant battle to turn off the TV, Facebook, the dishes, etc. and focus on US.

Style is easy to read. We're thinking Lent?

[Jenna Hackworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! And I've told loads of people about it and loaned my book out to a few different friends already. I laughed so much while reading this. I couldn't help myself! I'd start laughing and begin to read paragraphs to my husband because it was just that funny.

One of my all-time favorite parts of this book is when the author decides to try out Viagra. Let me just say...it's hysterical! This is a must read!